Yannis Pappas Hour - Content without a Rubber

Episode Date: April 7, 2023

Everyone’s favorite man in the middle Yanni goes bezerk this episode! Sean Terry Joins us to break down interest rates. Sponsors Native Sunscreenhttps://www.nativecos.com/?conditional_message=WELCOME!%20USE%20DISCOUNT%20FUMES%20AT%20CHECKOUT&utm_medium=podcast&utm_source=long_days_with_yannispappas&discount=FUMESButcher Boxhttps://www.butcherbox.com/fumesSee Yannis live Dates & Cities below All tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.comStamford CT April 7 & 8Tampa April 21-22Boston July 8 Dallas Aug 24-26New York Nov 4 Providence Nov 10-11Phoenix Nov 16-18Watch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQJoin our highlights page for highlight clips of every episode: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwNew episodes every Friday and new bonus episodes every following Tuesday at Patreon.com/yannispappashour Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Guys, before we start this fun news episode, as always, patreon.com slash yannispapasour for our weekly bonus episodes. Please support, okay? We got over a thousand people over there now. We need another thousand over there. So if you love this show and you're a man in the middle like Yanni, go support patreon.com slash yannispapasour. Our bonus episodes have been sizzling hot.

Go ask the people. Go see for yourself. Check in. You can quit at any time, but support us. My upcoming live dates, April 21st through 22nd, Tampa. Get your tickets. The Wilbur in Boston, Massachusetts, July 8th. Over half the tickets are already sold.

Go get the remaining it's a big deal for me to do this theater Historic Theater in Boston Giannis Pappas comedy.com for tickets July 8th the Wilbur Theater

Boston, Massachusetts Dallas, Texas August 24th through the 26th Blue Room Comedy Club Springfield, Missouri September 7th through 9th and big time New York

Sony Hall November 4th, those tickets are now on my website, you can go get them, November 4th, Sony Hall, New York, New York, my hometown, baby, these shows, those are gonna go fast, so get your tickets, the way I wanted to do it was just one and add another one, but we're just gonna keep adding, so get your tickets now, Providence, Rhode Island, November 10th through the 11th. Phoenix, Arizona, November 16th through the 18th. And the Paramount Theater is now on sale. August 17th.

Promo code Giannis. Go to my website right now. The Paramount Theater in Huntington, Long Island. Long Island. On sale now. GiannisPappasComedy.com. Use the promo code MYNAME for pre-sale and get your tickets now

for Long Island Paramount Theater. I love you guys very, very much. Now enjoy the episode. Good morning, everybody. Good afternoon. It is the Giannis Pappas Hour with your favorite host, Jack Cassando. That's my new name. I'm going to be going by Jack Cassando. I made that up on the fly. That is a marketed leading man name.

Leading man for movies. Who wants to be in that? Who wants to get paid $2,500 for a movie when you can get paid $2,500 per ad read on a potty? A podcast, which are completely saturated and impossible to grow because everyone has one and it's too much content. You know when podcasts outnumber actual humans in the country, we got a problemo. And I think they do because I think certain individuals

have multiple ones. So if every single person has a podcast and some have two, there are more podcasts than there are people. That is a fact. But that has nothing to do with the news of this week that you guys tune in to find unbiased, unadulterated. Is there any newscaster who will piss off the fringes, who will support the reasonable, rational middle more than good old down the middle, down the road, reasonable Yanni Pappas? Son of immigrants. And it used to be the nationalists want my parents out of here because they were Greek N-words. But I'm here to stay. Guess what?

Tesla sales are up 36% amid cost cuts to battle inflation. What does that mean for the people who don't know nothing about business? If you don't know nothing about business, don't worry. I'm with you. I don't know nothing about business neither. That's why I became a professional shit talker. But what that basically means is it costs a lot of money. Okay, let me

fucking tell you this. Let Sean Tyree break this down for you. Alright, listen. A lot of people don't got a lot of fucking money. Because like fucking 1% has got a lot of money and fucking middle class is shrinking. So everybody else needs a fucking loan. So if you want a fucking Tesla, you got to get a loan.

Problem is, the percentage to get a loan, what they call interest rate, what you got to pay in order to get that loan, which makes it not worth it. When it's a low interest, it's basically like they're giving you free money, like they're handing out money because they want a lot of people to buy. They want to stimulate the economy. But when they fucking go high, when they go high, that means you can't afford the loan. So that means you can't afford the car. So Tesla said, we want people buying these fucking hunks of shit, okay, that you get a tax break for.

And, you know, people get excited because it's fucking, it's made like a goddamn, like those old Volkswagens in Germany. They made a cardboard in a communist state, but they're hot tomatoes, okay? Now, don't worry. My creator has two of them, Giannis Pappas, so I'm not talking shit. I'm not fucking talking shit, but let's be honest. Sometimes it'll rain and you'll get a fucking, you'll get water through the roof because the shit's, it's made of

tinfoil. But anyway, they're like, we want people to buy these fucking things. We don't want to, we don't want the demand to dry up because people can't afford the interest rates, so we're going to. So we're going to cut costs. We're going to make the cars a little cheaper. So that actually stimulated, back to Giannis Pappas, that actually stimulated the purchase of them,

but it didn't hit their first quarter expectations of 432,000 cars, but they did sell just over 310,000. So they're doing pretty good. Okay, that's because they're smart. And, you know, so that's what you got to do. Cut your costs right now. You can't keep, when interest rates are high, you got to cut your costs. Go join patreon.com slash Giannis Papasauer for $4.96 a month.

I'm going to shave four pennies off for you people because interest rates are high, and I know you got to eat cereal and get diapers for your4.96 a month. I'm going to shave four pennies off for you people because interest rates are high and I know you got to eat cereal and get diapers for your baby. So can we shave off four points in the Patreon? We'll talk to Patreon, find out. At least Patreon will respond to us. Right now, you're probably watching this on Sunday

because we did get a community strike and it was inevitable. It was like banging a bunch of chicks without a rubber. Eventually, you were going to get something and that's what we do. We give you content without a rubber, so we got stung. Trump is demanding that the trial get moved to Staten Island.

The comedy rights itself. Stay tuned for it. Former Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson, otherwise known as who? Huh? Has decided to put in his presidential bid. I don't know why. Because he's got no shot.

More to come on that. You want to stick around for a lot of the news that just writes itself for comedy this month. Marjorie Taylor Greene is on a serious news program called 60 Minutes coming up. Of course, the left has lost their mind because, quote unquote, she's just like Hitler. Can we slow down with that? Calling Marjorie Taylor Greene just like Hitler, I hate to say, is an insult to Hitler. He was a little brighter than that, no? Anyway, the Tate brothers have been released in Romania.

So we got more on that. And also, stressed plants scream. This is a new study that plants, when they're not watered and they're living indoors, scream a high-pitched frequency. So who knows? Who knew that plants are spoiled brats who throw temper tantrums? Who knew that plants were just like 16-year-old Jewish girls from Long Island

who want to get their way? Who knew they were spoiled Japs? Let's see what the deal is. How about that? And are we playing the song? Yeah. Here's the song. What's the deal is?

Down in Spopis Yeah playing the song? Yeah. Here's the song. What's the Delas? So, this is one of my favorite weeks so far that we have really ever encountered. I mean, every story I read made me happy. I'd say this is uplifting news. I almost feel like this is sponsored by Tank's Good News on Instagram. This is, what a fun page that is. The kid throws up articles going, look at these two kids with Down Syndrome who built a house. And then you meet him in person.

He's from Long Island. He's like, I don't know. I can't wait for Trump to get back in office. No, he's great. I love Tank Sinatra. Go look at Tank's Good News if you're interested in kids with Down syndrome, getting jobs, and other good news in America, you know? If you want a break from all the bad news

and you want to just read what they had at my brother's school, you know, it's for seven-year-olds and kids with disabilities who want to read about good things happening in the world. Check out Tank's Good News, which is refreshing. It's like a palate cleanser after watching this because all we focus on is the stuff you can make fun of. And you can't really make fun of two Down syndrome kids who built a toy train.

You can't. You look at that and you go, oh, you can't make fun of a kitten and a lion that became pals because they both lived at the same suburban Illinois sanctuary. There's nothing to make fun of a koala bear's becoming extinct. It's not fun. You can't make fun of that. But you can make fun of the fact that Asa Hutchinson, former governor from Arkansas, decided he wanted to throw his hat into the presidential game

and announced his 2024 presidential run to the echoes of the room. Can you just imagine? That probably sounded like Lou Gehrig's speech in Yankee Stadium. Today, today, today, today, today, I'm announcing, announcing, announcing my presidential, presidential, sorry, beard for president because he's from Arkansas. I mean, talk about who cares. We should do a segment on

this show called Who Cares News. I mean, what's the point? So he's the third major Republican to announce they will be also Rands in the Republican nomination. You know who's leading the pack? It's good old Donnie T. He's getting arrested. He's going to probably be escorted in handcuffs in New York City, and he's still beating DeSantis. I think Florida's booming. I think Donald Trump, Donald Trump, I mean, the amount of scandals he's had, and he's still beating DeSantis,

who was the hero of the pandemic in retrospect for a lot of people on the right, right? As it turned out, the lockdowns weren't as based in science as we thought they were. The masks weren't as based in science as we thought they were. The masks weren't as based in science as we thought they were. Now, that's the regular masks, not the N95 masks. I mean, of course, I guess they provided some sort of impediment for the virus,

but not really. Everyone's got friends who always masked up, and then they got COVID three, four times. DeSantis didn't close Florida. His state is booming. The economy didn't take the hit that the Libby states took. I'm just flexing because I can. And even still, that short little Goomba can't beat the tall,

Germanic narcissist of narcissists, the orange wonder, Donald Trump. I think he could beat DeSantis from jail, you know? I think actually this is what's going to backfire on the liberal establishment because trials are so fucking hot right now. I mean, I think they're the highest rated must-see television that exists.

I mean, the Johnny Depp trial was like, could you miss that? That was like 90210 in the late 90s, my friend. Mid-90s. Must-see television. I mean, Johnny Depp Amber Heard trial might have gotten Cosby Show numbers.

And then after that, Gwynny was getting sued for a ski accident. Must see TV. They're even doing like red carpets for the outfits in the trial. I was looking at commentary going, oh my God, look at Gwynny. She's wearing 1970s glasses. She hasn't got any work done. I mean, are you kidding me? A Trump trial right now would throw him right into office,

would catapult him right back into the Oval Office. He'd go right back. So Trump's legal team is mulling their request to move the criminal trial to more conservative Staten Island. Guy knows his audience. Yeah, I mean, talk about knowing your audience, which is what I got to do. Because I spoke to a friend of mine who's in business this morning who loves our show. And he said he gave me some great advice.

I always like to talk to people who are just out there. I'm like, who's my audience, right? He goes, listen, he's not a guy who'd blow smoke. He's probably my most critical friend, but honest and one of the best-hearted people on the planet. But he never hesitates to throw a critique. But he said, he goes, listen, you're a sophisticated comedian. He goes, you're not a college guy, except for like smarty art college, precocious college guys. And he wasn't saying it as a compliment or whatever. And then he goes,

he goes, look, you can do two things. You can sell your soul and pander to the fringes, but then you say one thing the fringes don't like, they're done with you. They both cancel. Cancel culture is on, from the fringes, on the right and left. I love when the right yells about the cancel culture on the left, but the right does just as much canceling. You say one thing. You say one supportive thing about trans people. You say one empathetic thing towards a trans person,

and they'll go, you're done, unsubscribed. Unsubscribed. Can't hear it. You're for freedom, right? Yes, except for that. I want the government to intervene and stop it. You're like, okay, well then, I don't know how free you want your freedom, right?

And they will unsubscribe. And the left, obviously, the same thing. I mean, you say, I mean, you make, you say, I believe there's maybe four, let's say four genders. And the left goes, I'm turning off this Nazi rhetoric right now. So he goes, listen, man, you're for, and I had a hunch. He goes, you're for most people. He said, ironically, you may not feel it because the internet is panders to the fringes. But he goes, you're actually for most people. He said, ironically, you may not feel it because the internet panders to the fringes,

but he goes, you're actually for most people. You know, like most reasonable, educated people. I don't know if that's most because most people are not that educated, but there's a lot. But he goes, believe it or not, you're for the moderates. He was like, you're for people in the middle.

And so that's what I'm going to really, I'm going to really push, I'm going to really fucking dial that up. I may start like wearing like, you know, moderate glass rims and like man in the middle come up with a catchphrase.

I'm talking to the man in the middle and just have, you know, Michael Jackson's man in the mirror just change it to man in the middle. You know, have a fucking red and a blue and then Yanni.

You really got to yuck it up for these fucking morons out there that need toothpaste to be sold to them. Anyway, I digress. What was I talking about? Oh, so Trump wants to move his request. Oh, and that's why it made me think about it. Because, yeah, I said, I go,

hey, man, I lose fans. I post one thing and I'll lose fans on the left. I post another thing, I lose fans on the left i post another thing i lose fans on the right and he was like that's okay he goes you know either you can become a fringe and just pander one side and there's money in that but then like you you lose your soul he even said that he goes and you're like you got you aren't this isn't aren't you gonna go crazy it's like yeah those those people go crazy can you imagine being tucker Carlson, pretending to be a man of the people and then going off air and adjusting his fucking bow tie

and going back to his like palatious estate, wherever that is, on his probably $20 to $50, a million dollar a year contract, let alone the money he was born into. I mean, he's got born into money face. When you get a throat like that, and that's from generations of not working in any physical capacity. You ever like meet those, like see those pictures of like, you know,

the old paintings of the old like slave owners or whatever, and their arms are just twigs. And you see the portraits is just twigs. And their hands are like tiny baby women hands because they just don't do anything. And you could see that in a face. You could see that soft cherubic. He's got no, you know, like that middle,

he's got none of that working class jawline. You know, that jawline. Most middle class people look a little bit like maniac cop. They just have have like they got like a jaw because they've been hit a few times or they've adjusted a an engine in a car right you know like me i'm a softy look at these hands i could caress a man's back and he closes his eyes and he thinks that his woman is is is trying to manipulate him into buying something for her honey it's like what are you trying to manipulate him into buying something for her. Honey. It's like, what are you trying to get me to buy you, honey? You know I'll get you the goddamn steak dinner at Applebee's.

So I don't know. That's your only choices. And I prefer to do the long. I think we're playing the long game here. To be honest with you, I think we're going to get a lot more people on this roller coaster. You know? So Trump's legal team, which at this point,

how many lawyers does he have left that haven't ratted him out? He's got to be paranoid like a mob boss. Didn't he have that other guy who ratted him out? Oh, Cohen, right? Cohen, yeah.

He turned on him at first. He defended him. Now he's like, let me tell you, he's the biggest scumbag I ever interacted with. And then wrote a book. Yeah, and then wrote a book.

Like, you didn't know that when he was paying you. And people are supposed to, like, and then he becomes a hero. And Rachel Maddow will have him on as if he's not a fucking scumbag. Right. Once he got figured out, now he's got to. Anyone who drops dimes is a rat fake. No matter whether it was for a horrible person or not. And then you're going to treat the guy like a hero because he's got a change of heart. is a rat fake. No matter whether it was for a horrible person or not.

And then you're going to treat the guy like a hero because he's had a change of heart even though for all those years he was completely fine with it. It's like, yeah, can you pay off this freaking hoe? And he was like, sure, Donnie. As long as the check clears. But now he's a moral,

he's a beacon of morality because he's turned on the guy after he was exposed. After he's a beacon of morality. Yeah, right. Because he's turned on the guy after he was exposed. Right. After he got caught for doing bad. It's funny, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a contributor on MSNBC. Yeah, now he's a contributor.

Just like Reverend Al Sharpton. Right. Back in the day with his goddamn $40 million Rolex and his fat, gluttonous body from all the donations he got from any cause he would pimp out, running around yelling about Tawana Brawley, who completely made it up. What a shuckster he was.

Didn't they have him on camera, like, taking a bribe? Reverend Al. I believe they did. I believe they had him on camera taking a bribe. He did get stabbed at Bensonhurst, though. He did get stabbed. Hey, give him credit. He was in a dangerous game.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, he was in the racial equity game when it was a much more dangerous game i mean you could go protest for uh human rights and civil rights in bensonhurst today and it would be the safest thing because all you'd see is chinese people going huh what they wouldn't even understand you right there's all bensonhurst is like asian Asia now back then if you were marching in Bensonhurst you had some balls because it was just a bunch of people in fucking Cavaricci

peg pants and Reeboks with starter jackets and designs in their head and cuts in their eyebrows ironically dressed exactly like blacks go and get these fucking blacks out of my neighborhood how you gonna expose my sister to a two block radius with these fucking blacks my sister's somewhere in this neighborhood two block radius with these fucking blacks?

My sister's somewhere in this neighborhood. I can't have these fucking blacks here. So hats off for that at least. That's what he was probably, that's probably how he rationalized it when he stole everyone's money. He was like, look, this is a very dangerous job. I'm putting myself on the line

in front of these racists every day. So don't mind if I do. Don't mind if I do.'t mind if i do take your donation that was supposed to go to some community organizing and outreach you know a lot of dollars are raised under the umbrella of outreach um and uh act and uh and activation wait it's outreach is probably number one okay this is going to go to outreach. We're going to outreach and mobilization. I think those are the two.

We need fundraising for mobilization and outreach. And what he does is he mobilizes his hand right over the money. He outreaches for the money, mobilizes it with his hand, and then creates the program in his pocket. That's what Reverend Al Sharpton did before he landed a cushy, lucrative job over at MSNBC next to Trump's former lawyer, Cohen. And then how about the other lawyer, Stormy Davis' guy, who ended up in prison?

Remember that guy? Oh, yeah. What was his name? He was like a hero on the left for a little while, too. I can't remember. Yeah, he had some not Spadaducci or that guy, the Wall Street guy, wherever he was in and out. Remember, he was in and out of public consciousness.

The other guy, who was Stormy Daniels' lawyer. And he was going to run for president and then he ended up in jail. Yeah, and then he ended up in jail. Yeah, and then he ended up in jail for stealing people's money. Ooh, this isn't looking good for Reverend Al. What's he doing? Look at his net worth.

Yeah, but you can't. I mean, you look at my net worth. They say I got like millions, so you can't trust this celebrity net worth. They lowballed him here. Yeah, they lowballed him. Bad said $500,000. I know who owns the website Celebrity Net Worth, and they're located in Ozone Parkoklyn no friend to reverend al um yeah i don't buy that one bit but trump does know his audience and that's where i digress

saying i need to know my audience well trump knows his audience he goes can we move this trial uh to a more more more friendly pastures um and then the liberals will make a joke and go where russia oh yeah you know that's yeah they're not even trying on that one anymore they're not even trying on that one you know they're not even trying now it's what is it hush money for this fucking hoe they'll take anything they can get so they're going on obstruction of justice right um for the for covering up um the hush money for the hoe so he paid off he put he paid off stormy daniels right so the grand jury indicted him related to a hush money payment. The money was paid in an effort to prevent her from publicly revealing an affair she claimed she had

with the president years ago. Here's the thing. This used to derail somebody. But Trump, you blew your wad. You blew your wad. If you were quiet on him and just stayed after policy and just were quiet and didn't try to get him on every little thing, and then this came out, this would derail him, right?

Because he's got a lot of fans who are like, you know, Christian and like right wing, and they'd be like, oh my God, he's a cheater or whatever, Flanderer. Remember Gary Hart? What was his name? Remember that derailed him, his affair with Marla Maples? Right.

What was his name? No, he was a Chandra Levy guy, wasn't he? No, Chandra Levy got murdered. Yeah. And that wasn't Gary Hart who did it? No, remember the presidential candidate? Yeah, yeah.

I think her name was Marla Maples. And that came out. Remember back in the day where an affair could ruin you? Yep. Yeah, Marla Maples. No, she was married to Donald Trump, Marla Maples. Oh, so who? Say Gary Hart affair.

He was Gary Hart, yeah, president affair, just so we get it right. Yeah, sex scandal. Donna Rice. Donna Rice. Donna Rice. So that derailed him. That was back in the day where any little thing like that could derail you, a little scandal or whatever.

Then Clinton kind of broke it in a little bit. Clinton kind of broke it in because he was banging like bartenders. I mean, you know, he was the governor of Arkansas. And he wasn't, he took a, he made a hard left from JFK. He was like the new JFK as far as like being the philanderer. And JFK was banging classy broads, ambassador's wives, mob boss's wives, Marilyn Monroe, probably other starlets. High class stuff. And you know what?

A couple of prostitutes when his wife was out of town, but I guarantee you these weren't no back page hoes. I guarantee you these were six figure freaking hoes that walked in and were classy. I'm talking top level toots without a doubt. So then Billy Clinton came in and billy clinton basically he his tail was fast food level i mean he was doing drive-through too he was doing drive-through puss puss mall he was going give me a number four and i mean yeah can i get yeah with a large let me get let me he was well

he was giving give me the big gulp. Yeah. I mean, remember the broads he was banging? Yeah, truck stop. Yeah, he was doing freaking truck stop tail. What was her name? The one chick with the nose? She got a nose job, and she looked pretty decent. And listen, Billie's a man after our own hearts, because she had a decent bod.

And a lot of times you go after a face like that, if you see the bod and you go, listen, you know what I mean? The lights are going to be off, and I know because she's got that grill, she's going to do a little extra when she gives me a blowy. She's going to put a little bit more into it. Because when you got your dad's face, when you hook up with a woman with her dad's face, she goes a little harder on the blowy.

And if she's got a nice bod, even better, you know? Because a lot of the nice women's will cause you problems so in some way billy was smart he was going you know what i don't want the problem so let me go with these chicks who are just happy to be there i don't want to go with the maryland row who's going to be like when am i going to see you billy because you know that's what got her killed she was probably going jack when am i going to see you he's going listen dame all right i fucking got a cuban missile crisis going on i can't show up to bang you out, right, where I got to sneak in every time

and throw a diversion with Secret Service. You know, I got to, not to mention, I got 40 other broads I need to bang that aren't my wife. So I can't come see you, Norma Jean. And she's going, well, if you don't come see me, I'm going to freaking talk to the press. Okay, then you go to sleep. He probably even said that.

You want to go to sleep? Because back then, there was no way for her to prove, he probably even said that you want to go to sleep because back then there was no way for her to prove like you know you want to go to sleep we'll put you to sleep she's like you're a fuck I don't care you're bluffing he goes all right send you know go he called his dad Joe who was a gangster friends with a gangster put her to sleep time for her to put put her to sleep um What was her name? You're talking about Juanita Broderick? Well, no, the other one, the famous one with the big schnoz. This is a whole list of... Let's go.

So you had Kathleen Wiley. I mean, even their names are trailer park. He had Juanita Broderick. She goes hard. She accused him of raping her in 78. When he was the attorney general of arkansas yeah and then wait hold on then we got kathleen wildly said that he uh kilton kiss fondled her breasts and forced her to touch his crotch during a meeting in the oval losses oval office she made

her allegations public in 98 um paula jones that was her name now look she fixed her nose look at that's her new nose looks pretty good her old nose I mean yeah she looked like a she looked like a rabid raccoon now Paula Jones said that

she said they banged right police officers escorted her to Clinton's hotel room and Clinton propositioned her for sex and exposed his generalist to her he sat down pulled down his pants his whole everything and was exposed and I said I'm not that kind of girl I need to be getting back to my desk

he pulled the old Louie he said you're a smart girl let's keep this between ourselves he ultimately paid her $850 as part of an out of court settlement you're a smart girl, let's keep this between ourselves. He ultimately paid her $850,000 as part of an out-of-court settlement agreement, but did not admit guilt or apologize. So why are you paying her $850,000? You know he did all this shit.

Leslie Milwe. And you know who, George Stephanopoulos wrote a book, and I won't say anything bad about him because he's greek and he's also priest's son but yeah he wrote a book where he he totally turned on clinton too oh yeah yeah all too human i think it was called and i read it and it was just about how clinton was like a little he dropped dime he went he he i'd say he dropped nickels he dropped nickels like he didn nickels. He alluded to it. He didn't name names, but he alluded. I think when you allude and you don't go all the way, you drop nickels.

I just made that up, and I think it's a good one. And he got his millions, and now he makes God knows how many millions a year. He was in the campaign, right? The Clinton campaign. He was their chief campaign guy. And he was the head of staff. And he was his main advisor or whatever.

So then Leslie Milwee, a former television reporter. I guess back, that might have been when local news anchors still had a little clout. He did a lot of his dirt when he was young. This is in the 80s. You can't come out later. Well, maybe you can. I shouldn't say that. Says Clinton groped her on several occasions.

He followed me into the editing room. It was very small. It was a chair. I was sitting in a chair. He came up behind me, started rubbing my shoulders and running his hands down towards my breast. I was just stunned. I froze.

I asked him to stop. He laughed. He came in behind me, started hunching me to the point that he had an orgasm. Ooh, he started hunching me? What does that mean? He's trying to touch my breasts, and I'm just sitting there very stiffly, just waiting for him to leave me alone. And I'm asking him the whole time, please don't do this.

Do not touch me. Do not hunch me. What does that mean? What is hunch? Was he dry humping her? Is that an expression for dry hump? Stop hunching me? So he had a few accusers.

Yeah. We should stop talking about this. We might end up on the hit list. Yeah, we might end up on the Clintons hit list. Guys, we are brought to you by Native. You know Native, the deodorant that is from all natural ingredients, has no aluminum in it. No aluminum in it. Jared loves it.

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They've already sent me the free stuff. Now I got to sign up. You got a customer right here. Not only am I an advocate, I'm also a client of ButcherBox. ButcherBox.com slash fumes. So my point was he broke it in. He really broke it in. JFK started, he broke it in. Now we're at the point where like, if you're going to run for president and try to run against Trump, you've got to be notorious. We want notorious. Guess who's getting interviewed by 60 Minutes, right?

It ain't the representative in Congress, many of which there still are, who went to some Ivy League school, comes from some familial pedigree. No, it's Marjorie Taylor Greene is being interviewed on 60 Minutes. If I could ask anyone in the street to name me one member of the house, I bet you most of them would say Marjorie Taylor Greene. She's famous, right?

We've gotten to that point where now no bad news isn't bad news. All bad news is good news. We've gotten to that point where the crazier thing that you do, she's supported like QAnon theories. And now she is the most famous person in Congress. AOC is out there, you know, telling everybody what it is.

Like she's a sophomore at a liberal arts college talking about ideals. And she's the most famous. So there she is. So if you want to challenge, Donald Trump is a star. So if you want to challenge him, you're going to have to like get indicted, be an incumbent, say every controversial thing in the world, be a former reality star, be a former multimillionaire real estate tycoon who was born of a multibillionaire real estate tycoon or whatever, how much money they had. You're going to have to date a model who posed topless, who's from another country, who completely, 100% plagiarized her goddamn speech.

Do you remember that? When she plagiarized Michelle Obama's speech at her speech? I mean, that was wild. And we just, there's so many things you just go, if that one thing happened to any other presidential candidate, they'd be done. But he's just throwing so many darts at the board that he broke the system.

And because of the uptightness and ridiculousness of wokeness, he was able to barge through it because everyone just wanted someone like him to just throw the fingers up at them. So it goes back to my point that whatever extreme position you adopt and support, you are unwittingly supporting the equal but opposite thing that you hate. Like the reason

why you are supporting that extreme fringe position, like your hate for that opposite extreme fringe position is the reason you're supporting this position. Well, guess what? You're simultaneously supporting that. You're creating the thing that will inevitably take you down. Case in point, Donald Trump. Without wokeness, there is no Donald Trump victory. That's just the plain truth. Without the media becoming salacious, looking for clicks, there is no Donald Trump victory.

That's right. He's the yin to their yang. He's the yin to their yang. He goes, I know what your weakness is. You guys like a good scandal. You love a narcissistic, bombastic newsmaker. Well, I know how to do that. Think about how entertaining this guy is. What other real estate guy do you know who made it in the movies,

who got a cameo in a franchise, who became known as a it in the movies, who got a cameo in a franchise, who became known as a personality in the gossip cons, who got interviewed by Oprah, Howard Stern. He figured out how to make himself interesting by having big opinions, by dating hot women, by pretending to be his own publicist. He knows how to play that game.

And all these historical forces lined up perfectly for him to just smash through the door. So this kid Asa Hutchinson, otherwise known as Huh, has to be out of his fucking mind. If you're going to run for president, you better... What can he do to grab headlines? Try to become a rapper at the same time? That would help. If you go, hey, like if he could have like a full-blown senile crisis where he's running for president, but also decides he wants to be the pioneer in the uh geriatric white male rap game like he wants to

create a genre that would get headlines yeah kill a hooker and get away with it like do something something like so they suspect you but then like you you do it smart so you get away with it you need to get headlines somehow because because make no mistake the news will report on it the news will report on it they will appear they will appeal to our most reptilian car crash instincts and they know what they're doing make no mistake it will be fucking front page news that's right if it bleeds it leads if it bleeds it leads and it's never been truer than now and guess who bleeds fucking trumpy d d trumpy i mean look at this guy's statement he's not going anywhere he goes i've traveled the It leads, and it's never been truer than now. And guess who bleeds? Fucking Trumpy D. D. Trumpy.

I mean, look at this guy's statement. He's not going anywhere. He goes, I've traveled the country for six months. I hear people talk about the leadership of our country. I'm convinced that people want leaders that appeal to the best of America and not simply appeal to the worst instincts. Boring. Boring. I mean, get that.

Goddamn English teacher bullshit out of here if you don't come dressed to your presidential bid dressed as bill nye the science guy with you know with the remaining members of of the migigos rap group on either side of you. Rest in peace to whichever one we lost. And I don't say that because I'm not, it's just like I don't know new rap, okay? You're not, you got no shot. I mean, think about it. We've been completely desensitized.

I mean, dude, the first first lady i've seen her tits i've seen the first lady's tits i've seen her tits yeah what's his wife she dude his his wife completely lied on like her website about the schools that she went to it's hilarious and there was people defending oh no she was an arc she dropped out of like architecture school she speaks four languages it was complete bullshit why would someone drop out of like architecture school. She speaks four languages. It was complete bullshit. Why would someone drop out of architecture school to do coke and become a model and marry Donald Trump? Makes no fucking sense. She posed nude and her titties were out.

Do you remember that? When they were like, oh no, she speaks six languages. And then you ask her to say one thing in another language and she's like the characters in the Inglourious Bastards at the end baraducci baraducci barawoochi like brad pitt at the end don't speak a fucking lick of anything except broken english and whatever goddamn akistan she was fucking ordered from she's probably from like like Tajikistan or something. Georgia.

She plagiarized Michelle Obama's speech, word for word. And it was like in the news for a second and then gone. Melania Trump, she's from Slovenia. She's essentially from the same place that three NBA players get drafted

from every year and two end up being a bust. And one makes it. She wants no part of this shit. She wants no fucking part of that. Dude. Melania Trump is only 50. She's only 50. 52.

52. Yeah. Donny T is 78. Yeah. That's a big age difference. Oh, by the way, did you hear about Larry David? No. Larry David married a 36-year-old.

Wow. His daughter's friends. Yeah. Not to derail the pot. No, but let's take a peek. I imagine she's not great looking, but has a good personality. Let's see if she's true to form.

Who is Ashley Underwood? She doesn't look 36. She's 36 she doesn't look 36 you sure you just have to go how old is she that's what I heard

she was a producer that worked with Sacha Baron Cohen Sacha Baron Cohen two comedic geniuses Ashley Underwood age is the way to go so Donald Trump's going

let's take us that would be hilarious if it does get moved to Staten Island the best yeah members of the jury were going like this

objection your honor they go excuse me you can't say that from the you cannot say that from the jury box wow so they have a 38-year age gap. Larry David. What are you going to do?

I mean, what are you going to do? The guy's funny. Yeah, I mean, what are you going to do? The guy's funny, and we didn't make the rules. Guys can still bang older. It's just bad. It's like you've got to take that up with God. You really have to take it up with God because younger girls

want to bang older dudes. Older dudes can and still want to bang younger girls and we're all programmed that way. So it's like you got to take it up with, you know, you just got to continue to get a lot of work done, ladies, and try to compete with these young hoes. If anything, you got to be mad at the young hoes.

You got to unionize, right? And then any picket crossing, what is that called? Picket crosser? Scab. Any scab pussy that tries to get past your picket line to date a guy, you need to organize, you need to do that. You need to have a women's, if you're a real feminist, feminists would do that.

They go alright this is the deal. Larry David's 78 and you can even go alright we'll compromise. Nobody under 55 can date him. Why?

Because that's bad for all of us. So nobody under you're 38 go find yourself a 52 year old guy bitch. 78 year old multi

multi multi millionaire he's going to a 50 year old bitch. That's what this is how this is how we're keeping the peace and this is millionaire he's going to a 50 year old bitch that's what that's what this is how this is how we're keeping the peace and this is how we're gonna keep these middle-aged women from buying up all the cats it's not fair that's what they got to do that's a great idea for women yeah yeah form a union yeah unionize the vagina and organize it like, look, you cannot be employed as a gold-digging hoe

for a 70-year-old man if there's a 30-year age difference. You can't do it. You got to cut it off at like 27, right? Whatever Stamos' wife-dad difference is, because he's a friend of mine. So I say whatever dad's difference is, you keep that. Also, I got a little bit of a difference too, but mine's not as big as Stamos.

But what's Stamos supposed to do? He's been drinking baby, but he looks 27. What's he supposed to do? Marry another woman who's 60? See him walking down the red carpet with Barbra Streisand, you're like, oh my God, I didn't know Barbra Streisand was Stamos' mother. What's he supposed to do?

Yeah, you got to do what you got to do. You got to do what you got to do. I mean, him and his wife look the same age. Yeah. you got to do what you got to do. You got to do what you got to do. I mean, him and his wife look the same age. Yeah. Because he has a good Greek jeans. He's got superior Greek jeans. Yeah, but Larry David's no Stamos.

No, Larry David looks like he's just got out of a bath for 14 hours. He looks like a raisin. He looks like an albino raisin. You remember those white raisins? He looks like a raisin. He looks like an albino raisin. Remember those white raisins? He looks like one of those. He looks like a raisin that's white. I mean, Jesus Christ, dog. 38 years.

Yeah. He looks like Bernie Sanders if he lost a lot of weight and stretched him out. Yeah, yeah. He's not a looker. No. Larry David will not look a lot different in his coffin after you dig him up after a month. He does. He kind of looks embalmed already.

He looks embalmed. And guess what? His younger wife, 38-year difference, does not. She happens to be pretty decent. But, I mean, what's Larry David going to do? You know? Who's he going to do? You know? Who's he going to date? I don't know.

Can you say, let's do celebrity women in their 70s, right? How old is he, Larry David? I think he's like 78.

Yeah, he's like 78. So let's go like celebrity women in their 70s. Let's see what they look like. Jesus Christ. It's like you lost fingers in a 70s. Let's see what they look like. Jesus Christ.

It's like you lost fingers in a knife fight. It's like I hired a three-fingered producer. Just go to pictures. Can you go to images? Yeah, they don't even show the pictures now. They just show them as when they were... Look how hot Barbra Streisand was. Where, where, where?

Right down there. Go lower. Oh, this is my girl, Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman was hot, but how can you miss... I mean, Jesus, her nose is taking up the whole screen. Yep, there you go. Look how gorgeous Barbra Streisand was when she was younger. Rest in peace, Olivia Newton-John.

A lot of the women in their 70s are dead now. You know? Maybe the women in their 70s are dead now. You know? Maybe celebrity women in their... Oh, because they thought you meant the 70s. In their 70s. Oh, here you go. Here you go. Wait, some of them are hot, dude.

Being a celebrity just, like, keeps you hot. Yeah, you know what it is. It's money. Dude, Sigourney Weaver looks dope. Is she 70? Yeah. Sigourney Weaver, is she 70 in that picture? You better...

I mean, dude, they're definitely... I mean, look at Meryl Streep at 73. They are drinking baby's blood, no? Yeah, absolutely. They got to be doing something. Look at Glenn Close. How old's Glenn Close? Goldie Hawn is 77.

That's not her at 77, though. No. Helen Mirren looks good at 77. Yeah, he should be dating one of these chicks. Sally Field. Yeah, he could. Yeah, the thing is, when you have nothing to do, I mean, Susan Sarandon is 76.

She looks incredible. I'd bang her out. Kathy Bates looks like Tim Dillon. That's more Larry Speed. Let's be honest. Yeah. Kathy Bates looks like Tim Dillon. That's more Larry Speed. Let's be honest. Yeah. Diane Keaton is more Larry Speed because she used to bang out Woody. Right, right.

She's 77. They all look great. I don't know if these pictures are accurate to their age, but kind of. Jessica Lange still looks great. She's 73. And Cher just takes the cake at 76. She looks the same as she did when she was 20. Beverly D'Angelo, who Al Pacino divorced at 71.

That's not her at 71. I refuse to believe that's her at 71. That doesn't make sense, right? That can't be her at 71. She looks good here. Yeah, that can't be 71 years old. Let's see. Now.

Yeah, that wasn't her at 71. You see, a lot of those pictures are unfair. There she is. I mean, if that's her now, that's still incredible. I would bang that 71-year-old woman. Yeah, she would get cracked open. That's her now. Because look, you know what's funny?

Hollywood money, it reverses. Because usually guys age better than women, unfortunately. But then in Hollywood, look at Chevy Chase and look at her. Yeah, he looks. I mean, Chevy Chase looks like a bus driver. And she looks great. Chevy Chase looks like shit. And she looks incredible.

So maybe I'm wrong. A lot of these chicks look great, man. Money does wonders. Well, he had options in his age range, at least. He did. She was so hot, too. It's so sexist when I say she was. That's what you always say.

I always catch myself, oh, man, she was hot. You'll be like, Stamos is a good-looking guy. You're like, she was hot. She was hot. It's not easy being a chick, and then they got to give birth to the kids, and their titties get all mashed out, stretch marks. What can you do well what you can do is transition become a guy we got a lot of privilege we got a lot of privilege that's

not controversial at all i mean the news is just full of trans bills and and drag drag queen story hour be careful we already got one community strike that's right and i'm not saying that's a good thing or a bad thing i'm just mentioning it uh yeah i don't even know if you can say that word yeah they're probably listening to us on sunday right now aren't they the lord's day it's because we got a community strike for a video that is really hard to understand why we got that strike it doesn't make any sense but anyway that would be a really funny trial you know selecting the jury would take forever. It's that island?

Yeah, it'd be like, sir, you know, we want an independent. We don't want anyone since the defendant is a well-known political figure. We want someone who has, and you're like this, no, no, totally. I was totally for Hillary Clinton. I'm a totally Hillary supporter. No, I totally voted for that Hillary. I'll tell you that right now. I'm a Hillary guy. I'm not even for Trump. I never even fought. I'm not totally Hillary supporter. No, I totally voted for that Hillary. I'll tell you that right now. I'm a Hillary guy.

I'm not even for, I'm not even for Trump. I never even fought. I'm not even for Trump, Trump 24. I'm not even for Trump, Trump 24. Did that just come out? Oh my God, that was a Freudian slip, Trump 2024. I apologize. I'm fucking totally a Bernie guy.

I'm a plumber from Staten Island, okay? If you got a problem with your sink, call Spadaducci and Ferdinand Plumbing out here on fucking the island. And I tell you, I don't even know who this guy is. I'm an independent. Usually I go to the left. I'm a big fan of AOC.

I like that fucking shit. Did I say that out loud? Oh, fuck, I'm sorry. I mean, there, I'm sorry. I mean, there would be no trial. They would just, the jury would be like,

Yonah, do we really got to do this? Look at this. You got 33% more votes than Staten Island. Yeah, Staten Island and Long Island is going to, they vote to the right. And you know what's weird is like,

that just shows you that this Democrat-Republican, the delineation between Democrat and Republican is more about urban and suburban. It really is, right? It really kind of is in a lot of ways. Most country and suburban places vote to the right, and most city places that have bigger populations vote to the left. And you can kind of understand why in a lot of ways.

Because when you're living in the city, it's more dense. You can see how people are sort of interconnected and how there needs to be more order and more governing bodies to sort of manage the landscape. And then when you live out in the suburbs, it's just about get off my property, more independent, more stay out of my business. It makes sense.

I mean, humans are not that complicated. It's not like any of these people understand the nuances of the issues for the most part. Well, it's weird because rich people used to vote Republican, right? But now the rich people seem to be leaning Democrat. And why do you think that is? I don't know. That's a good question. Why do you think that is? Well, the Republicans used to be

the party of business, right? And now they're the party of, like, the people. Right. And now the Democrats have become, like, the party of the coastal elites. Yeah. You know? Because I wouldn't say rich vote left. Well, I was just thinking when you were saying suburbs like nobody in the hamptons is voting for trump i think the rich i think the right i think it's the

hollywood like the coasts i think it's true it's like new york and la like those two important cities um vote to left at least that's what they say they vote. Who knows what they do when they get into the private office. Good point. Yeah. It could totally, you know, who knows? Who the hell knows? So, according to a study done post-pandemic, 10,000 U.S. soldiers are now considered obese.

US soldiers are now considered obese. So basically they have the same bodies as people who simulate war on call of duty. Wait, active soldiers, active soldiers are, are obese. Now 10,000 soldiers are obese, but I mean,

do you really need to be in shape to be, you know? That's the advantage to automatic weapons, right? You don't have to be in shape. So, I don't see what the problem is. Holy shit. You don't have to have low cholesterol in order to be able to fire a bomb. Maybe those are the guys who fly the drones. Yeah, well, you know, whatever.

Whatever. There are more active duty service members with an overweight body mass than any other BMI category. Roughly 51.6% of our military is fat. Uh-oh. Yeah, dude. I feel like this country can be overtaken by homeless people right now. I think they're more in shape.

Homeless people are in shape. They don't eat like we eat. They eat the way you used to have to eat in the wild. You have to find your food. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, we got to slow. But, you know, the good news is

there's no more hand-to-hand combat. So you don't have to look like a Spartan anymore. You know? You can look like a couch potato. It's really funny, though, to think that if you want to know how to beat America in a ground war,

just run. Just run and make them chase you. This is not good. Yeah, they'll be out of shape. You'll hear them heaving. You turn around and you just kick them. Why is it not good? I mean, you know, it doesn't come as a surprise.

We're overweight. We're an overweight country. Yeah, right. That's a good point yeah it's uh it makes sense that our the the people who the taxpayers pay to defend us would also indulge in a burger or two our diet is horrendous processed food but here's the thing i was thinking about right everyone complains about the health of our country and the quality of their food and how it's poisoned but like back before fast food and processed food and frozen food on

a truck people used to live to like 40 that was the average now people live to average 78 so is it bad that people are fat no is Is our food supply worse than it was? Oh, yeah. Well, the roles have shifted. Usually, rich people were fat, right, because they were gluttonous, and poor people were skinny. Now, poor people are fat and rich people are skinny. Yeah, well, you know, they got poor people.

You have to calm poor people down somehow. Yeah. Rich people can afford all this healthy food. Dude, when you eat the two-for-28 meal at Applebee's with free refills on a Coke, you don't have much energy to go storm people's foyers. There's not going to be a bunch of people stabbing your butler in the foyer.

Yeah, you've got to keep them sedated, which we're for here. On the Giannis Papasaro, we completely support putting sedatives in the water supply. We support it. I fully support it. Sedate me. I would love to be sedated. If I unknowingly had about 15 milligrams of Klonopin pumping through my blood supply every day because it was in Poland spring water, you know, innocence is bliss.

And guess what? You have a more docile population. That's a good thing. Yeah. You put that together with the iPhone, you know people are busy keep them yeah but keep to keep the circus going with the sports yeah i mean you know don't stop that um absolutely so i mean look we have an overweight we have an overweight military um that's hilarious. Like, do you see the Chinese military all fucking doing all these drills?

Terrorists on monkey bars. Our guys are just sitting there eating a biscuit with a bucket of Kentucky fried chicken. Oh, look at those guys over there. But we still got the big guns. Yeah. So, it is funny, though. They used to be the Paragon., like imagine Navy SEALs showing up with like dad bods.

They're just starting to lower the standards. Everyone looks like Private Pyle. Remember Private Pyle? Yeah, of course. Full metal jacket. Full metal jacket. Private Pyle? Yeah, of course. And Full Metal Jacket. Full Metal Jacket. Private Pyle and Full Metal Jacket. So that's what it is.

That's what is going on in the world, my friends. And I can't, I would be remiss if I, you know, obviously I mentioned the Trump trial, which will make him a star. I mean, if you want to really get high ratings now, you got to commit a crime as a celebrity and just have the whole trial filmed. We're in the eras now of reality trials.

We're getting close to like crimes, where they like live, like snuff films. We're almost there. We're almost like, if you, you watch the crap that my wife tunes into, it's close to watching a crime. Like they're arguing. If you watch those shows, they're like arguing, they're getting close to hitting. Sometimes they hit each other. Sometimes they throw things at each other and it's filmed and it's completely fine. Um, now we're doing like trials where like people are accused of like domestic abuse or injuring someone

we're getting closer to like murder trial you know and then we'll just be a lot just like well someone will tune in live you know and I'll be like it'll be a lot you'll get a notification on Instagram like oh the serial killer's going live and everyone pays five bucks

and watches like the serial killer kill people. And we pay for it because we've been numbed by everything else, including our presidential candidates have numbed us out to any mature. All you have to do is use the word mature discourse. So enjoy. Enjoy the circus. And I would be remiss if I didn't mention that my nose was itching. What if my nose itches every time I'm just being full of shit?

There you go. In the comments right there. Yeah, you just badmouthed Trump. You got what you deserved. And I didn't even badmouth him, I don't think. I just called him an orange something. The Tates have been released from prison

after three months. Also, I think it's very funny that plants scream. They did a study and plants make a high frequency noise when they haven't been watered. That's audible to animals and stuff. Dude, there's a whole bunch of stuff happening in nature

that we can't even comprehend, you know? So a new study shows that plants emit cries for help when they're under stress. Researchers say that when under stress, some plants will vibrate, but scientists could not agree on whether the vibrations could become sound waves. So that's not conclusive.

No. It doesn't scream if it's inconclusive because sound waves create the noise. So they vibrate. Okay, they vibrate a little bit. So does that mean plants have feelings now? We can't eat plants either? Yeah, well, that's what they're going to say now.

So now, touche. Touche, vegetarians. Well, I mean, it should have been touche when you tell a vegetarian how farming works and how many animals have to be killed in order to grow your vegetables. I mean, that should be fucking checkmate there. But they do have some good points on factory farming.

Factory farming is horrendous. They do have some good points on that, yeah. But the point that we're not supposed to eat meat, it's just not true. No. It's just's just not true i mean be a pescatarian look but that factory farming is inexcusable dude it is it's brutal it's brutal but you have a population you have the profit motive people gotta eat it's brutal it's brutal but here's the deal um the great um patrice o'neill had a joke that I saw on a video that has never come out but you know

it was a great joke about how he feels bad for the animals like he eats meat but then he sees like a puppy commercial or he's like you know anything that can smile and he's like but fish he's like I have no problem eating fish they have one expression

and the way he made it so funny I feel the same way yeah because i feel bad for animals but i have no problem eating any fish yeah because fish don't like change like an octopus doesn't make a noise when you kill it although i heard that uh octopus teacher thing like octopus are supposedly highly intelligent yeah but they're still in the water if they couldn't figure out how to get out of the water, how smart could you be? I don't know. Watch that documentary.

Let me know. I can't. I'm Greek, dude. I got to eat octopus. That's right. Italians too. Yeah, octopus is a big part of our diet.

Octopus. We put a little lemon and olive oil. That's it. With lemon. So, and yes, it is on a paper plate.

And yes, we have some editorial retractions. We have a lot of editorial retractions, and I can't remember any of them, so who gives a shit? I should keep putting notes. But a lot of people were upset about a lot of things I said. People were upset about Jared Harvin saying trans people have feelings. Oh, boy.

That one caught a lot of slack. That whole trans bit where he said that, where we said that, you know, people feel shitty about themselves, so they're going like, hey, we're going to make you feel shitty too because I decided to change my personality. Some people were upset about that.

Good. This is the podcast where you're not going to agree with everything. You're going to be upset. This is the podcast where you're not going to agree with everything. You're going to be upset. This podcast is for adults only who, even if you disagree, enjoy hearing another perspective and sometimes even be able to laugh at another perspective. Right? Right? Didn't I say that in the last episode? Because that's how you, even if you want to, that's how you steal, man. Is that what it's called? Steal, man also i'm a comic sometimes i'll even make fun of the stuff that's most sacred to me including my own family anyone it's like that's such a weird thing to make fun

to try to be funny only about the things you think are sacred or that's not a that's not funny the funniest things what i would laugh the hardest when I was in school is when someone did the most worst thing. You know, not literally, like we didn't kill a guy, but you know, farted on a teacher, still funny. Farted next to a teacher, not right, disrespectful. That's somebody's mom, but we still had a good laugh. And that's the point. I'm a rascal.

So the Tates are out of prison and they need to go see a barber, dog. Immediately. Look, Tristan Tate has hair plugs. Whoever did his hair plugs, hats off. Those plugs look great.

I mean, those plugs, like Maury's wigs, remember he jumps in the pool? The person who did his plugs can do a commercial about before he goes into prison and after he's in prison. My plugs can withstand three months in the can. His plugs held up to prison time. I mean, his plugs look great.

That's not real hair. Yeah, yeah. And Andrew Tate just looks like the Unabomber, dog. Dude, yeah, Hezbollah. Yeah, and I think they were in solitary confinement for um or whatever he said he had no electronics for uh three months nothing to do in his cell pull up his uh pull up his twitter he tweeted where he's just pacing and smoking a cigar and he says old habits die hard because for three months i was just pacing in my cell. I mean, it's probably brutal.

Being in prison is probably brutal. He probably wasn't with his brother. It's brutal, man. Prison is brutal. If people knew more about how brutal prison was, they'd think twice about committing a crime. Here he says, what does he go? He goes, in a jail cell for an unknown period of time, facing the largest of battles, it was the perfect time for any traitors on my team to betray me,

but my team remained solid, flawless. I am the perfect judge of character, surrounded by impeccable men. Teams like mine cannot lose. What is up with this era of fucking glorifying narcissism? We really are. This ain't the time for humility. I am the perfect judge of character. Are you? Because I think I remember you calling Romania the most free place in the world. They threw you in the slammer. They threw you in the slammer, my friend. But I thought Romania was great. I mean, dude, you know, it's like, I don't blame him. He's just being the fucking

cocky, narcissistic dick that he is. And narcissists are usually very entertaining, but they're bad for you, like ciggies. They go great with coffee, but they're bad for you. Andrew Tate is a ciggy. And of course, the reason why he exists is the woke. So the people who hate Andrew Tate the most are the ones that created him. Because if we didn't live in this fucking asinine cartoon of a reality where we're gas lit every day on the amount of genders at

at all I mean at fucking owl it's a latin for and more I mean how much gas lighting have we been you know you got some dude who was swimming as a dude a year ago, hopping in a pool with chicks, 400 in the world as a man, winning a competition. And we're supposed to go like, chicks making history, man. And we're just like being gaslit into thinking that, you know, and that's just one of many examples of the gaslighting that's been going on, you know, by the woke, and you didn't expect that a guy like this was going to become popular? For every action, there's an equal but opposite Andrew Tate personality waiting, waiting to fill in the holes of reality that you left hollow.

Because people always crave the truth. People hate the truth. They ignore it for a while. They enjoy being lied to until they find out the truth. And God help you when the people find out the truth because they always do. That's from one of my favorite movies. One of the most underrated movies in history called True Colors with John Cusack and James Spader. He said, one of the lines is,

God help you when the people find out. You may even get elected. You may even win a re-election or two. But God help you when the people find out. And they always find out. Friendship is like morning dew. It settles on some grass, and then it settles on some dog shit.

No. You just didn't own it. It doesn't cost you until you own it. That's another good one from that movie. That movie is, who would give that movie three out of five stars on IMDb? Well, it's only, I mean, that's ridiculous. If you want to see a great movie with a great dialogue that's underrated from the 80s, it's called True Colors with James Spader

and John Cusack. It's an excellent movie about betrayal, about class, about morality, about politics, about friendship, about narcissists, liars, pathological people.

It's great. It's an incredible movie. Jesse, you would love it. It's one of my favorite movies. The dialogue, the script is so great. So good. So God help you when the people find out. And they always find out.

Want to give a small business shout out to our top tier Patreon members who support us. We support them. Love small business. Brooklyncannery.com. This is a prebiotic, all natural soda with natural sweeteners. But I mean by that is they use agave, stevia, monk fruit, and things from nature that are low glycemic. I'm talking about a ginger beer that's 22 calories. A cola that's, I think, 42. Versus when you go to a soda with high fructose corn syrup

you're dealing with 160 calories 150, 160 are you doing Brooklyn Cannery yet? love it, I love it Jesse's ordering brooklyncannery.com very easy use the promo code

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it's got a little kick a little spicy. They're delicious. They haven't got key lime jalapeno. It was my personal favorite. It's got a little kick, a little spicy, but it's delicious. Also, root beer. Chrissy Minetti, who's going to buy our history hyena's sign. Okay? I'm glad to give it to you. All your money is going to be going to equipment here. So give it up for Chrissy Minetti, who will eventually be the new owner

of the old history hyena sign. I will autograph it for you. We love you, Chris Minetti. He's also a guy who will cash your check in South Jersey and Philly. Call him up 215-750-3730. That's it.

No website, no address. I don't know how the process works. If anyone's cashed a check with Chris Minetti and they're not still alive, please give me a call. I know that doesn't make sense. It's intended not to. It's supposed to be funny.

Next up, we got ForTheFree.art. Check it out. I don't think the guy listens anymore. It's music from Hawaii. You know the deal. ForTheFree.art. Great bands in Hawaii. Check them out.

Who else do we got? We got Jared Z. Exclusiveautoshipping.com if you bought your car out of state or if you're moving out of state and you need your car to be moved. Hit up exclusiveautoshipping.com. Get a free quote. And there's discounts for students and military members. Very, I love you, Jared Z.

You're a loyal listener. So are these guys. They're turning into loyal listeners because they probably split the bill for this 14 ways. They got 100 podcasts, and everyone's probably chipping in 25 bucks. So they can afford to be our... That's the thing. If you want to get a top tier...

What do we have, two or three spots? We have one. We have only one spot open now for our top tier small business shout out Patreon tier. So you can team up with a bunch of people and split it. Treat it like a goddamn ride share. Check out Manly Girly Studios. Check out their podcasts, Cost of Thinking, and Side of Fries, and a few others. Manly Girly Studios on YouTube.

Check them out. Plus, they got merch 20% off if you buy their merch, which you should for fun. Use the promo code WEPA for 20% off their merch. These guys are on the run. At the beginning,

they were in Miami and now they're in North Carolina. I don't know what that means. I don't know if they're real people. They could just be a program messing with us. Could be a bot. Could be a bot.

I don't know. But go check out the podcast and let me know um if it's gonna take off or not and then of course our favorite farrier sam gubara which sounds a lot like gumara sam you want to be my gumara i'll fucking be i'd love to have a little side piece who knows how to clean up uh hoofs. Down there in Nashville, Tennessee, baby. She's a farrier with no fumes. Now, is she the farrier or she has the farrier business? I think it's both.

I think it's both. Does she have farriers that work under her? She might. She might have just a coterie of farriers. She's got a stable of hoes. She's got a stable of farrier hoes. She's got a stable of hoes working under her. Hit sports sport horse sports horse farrier right yep sport horse farrier.com or call her up which we did um and you'll hear that next week two weeks no after this episode

you'll hear it that's attached to the esther episode yeah so that'll be after this episode. That's attached to the Esther episode. Yeah, so that'll be after this week. Right, this one's coming out next Sunday. They're listening to this right now. You're in real time. I'm in the future. Oh, my bad. Yeah, no, it's all right. You're right.

Two weeks from this recording, one week from when you're listening to this. Correct. It's time travel, baby. You'll hear it, and it was a lot of fun giving her a buzz. But if you're in the Nashville area and you're disappointed with your farrier, you're down on your farrier. Even if you've been loyal, you've had your farrier for generations.

I assume you're some fucking former slave owner who's inherited a lot of goddamn blood money from the tobacco fields, and you've had horses in your family for generations. And you've probably had generational farriers you've had a farrier who gave birth to a farrier who stayed in your family and lived in the same house the people who didn't get paid used to live it and you're sick of your fairy you're disappointed with your farrier and you want to try something new well put your goddamn

need for a farrier onto the open market and check out Sam my Gumara. Sam Gumara. Call her up. Bring her over. She'll come over with her goddamn Yellowstone living in the bunkhouse female outfit and her goddamn muscles and her hot fucking Peace for Rome face. And she'll clean the fucking hoofs out. She's a farrier with no fumes. Lean the fucking hoofs out.

She's a furrier with no fumes. With 10 years of experience of farriering, 864-200-9007 or sporthorsefarrier.com. I think I can do a funny read on these every single time and make them different. Yeah, because a farrier ad is one of the funniest things. Is it more common like in Nashville? Probably. Yeah.

Yeah, but it's definitely evergreen for comedy, let's be sure. Yeah. All right. Then we got displaypros.net. Make our sign. They'll make anything for you. A sign, a display booth, whatever you need, whatever it is. Signs and display booths, whatever.

Promotional items, killer promotional items. What else they do? Anything. They'll do it. It's a sweatshop. They'll do anything. I don't know what they'll do, dude. If you need a green card,

they'll make you one. I don't know. You know, just go to displaypros.net, get 10% off with the promo code whatsthedealis. All one word. Displaypros.net.

And then, have you checked it out yet? No. Go check out this guy's novel about a crime lord. It's called The City. It's a graphic novel. Can someone go read it and write a review for fun on the Patreon

or in the comments or message me and tell me what's going on at The City? Is this good? Because the guy's got spelling errors in the promo, so I just don't know what the novel's going to be like. This is new copy. He fixed it. Oh, let's see. He fixed it.

Okay. Experience the adrenaline rush of this thrilling story. Oh, let's see. He fixed it. Okay. Experience the adrenaline rush of this thrilling story through stunning illustrations and applause. I like that. Yeah. It's got illustrations, too. See, this is a guy with a passion and an art. So go support him. These are the guys I want people to know about.

You know, there's 50,000 people out right now listening to this. Go to sarazar.com and check out this story. It's called At The City Graphic Novel on Instagram. At The City Graphic Novel on Instagram or sarazar.com

and read this kid's freaking book. You should spell that. S-E-R-A-Z-A-R-D dot com.