Yannis Pappas Hour - Cuomo’s Mom’s Sauce Spoon - Long Days with Yannis Pappas - Episode 12

Episode Date: March 21, 2021

Fresh off his sold out show at Soul Joel’s Comedy Club in Royersford, PA Yanni goes in hard on how scandalous a town Philly is, “the Squad”, Cuomo, and much more. Patreon names are now being read and small business sponsors are almost filled.   For weekly bonus episodes and additional bonus content click here: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdays   The show goes out every Sunday at noon to youtube and audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram! Come join in on the LONG DAY   Follow Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's the dollars, everybody? What's the dollars? What's the dollars? What's the dollars? What was the actual voice message? Was it just, what's the dollars? What's the dollars? We got a professional setup here.

Every week, we're improving week by week. We're rising out of the ashes, brother. This is the Freedom Tower that's being built where there were twin towers. Now there's one, brother, and we're coming back at you. It's long days. First, I want to do a little business. I want to let you know I will be at the Addison Improv. I guess that's outside of Dallas, Texas. You know what I mean? Texas, I'm just trying to get to know you now. I assume that's Texas. I mean, Dallas yeah it is Dallas I'll be at the Dallas I'll be in Dallas how about that doesn't matter where just go to my website yannispappascomedy.com

get your tickets from April 1st to the 3rd I will be in Dallas and if you don't think I'm gonna scurry over to Austin while I'm down there because austin's close and i'm just gonna call up rogues and be like do you want to get coffee what you want to do let's go hunt an elk let's fucking kick some people whatever you want to do guy i'm here come kick me you want me to come over you can kick me in the chest let's try that i don't care can i wash your car what do you need me to do i'm gonna also of course be hanging out with my good friend, the great Tim Dillon, who lives in Austin. He'll be there.

So I'll be rolling around with that motherfucker in his $300 million car now. So, yeah, because there's no money on the internet. Take a peek at Tim Dillon. God damn it. Tim's got to find a way to hide his Patreon money because during a pandemic, you don't want people to know that your Patreon is numero uno.

You got to go private. Yeah, you got to go private at this point. I mean, you just, yeah, now you're a target. You may have to live in a gated community or whatever. You may have to move to Monaco. I think when your Patreon gets that high, you just, Monaco calls you. I think you get a call from the Prince of Monaco or Switzerland being like, hey, look, we are two options in the world where people like you who are publicly rich can come and just and just be next to boats you know those people rich

people just like to be next to boats like wasps they don't have to be on a boat but they just want to be as far from Drew and New Jersey as possible so they need to be by a boat they want to be able to see a boat. And I realize why. And that's why they put Sperry's on. They got boat shoes on. And they can't keep their fucking paws off of peach colored khaki shorts. They love a smear of peach. They love it.

And they love a goddamn linen shirt more than anyone knows. And the reason why they want to be close to boats is not because they like sailing. They just want the option to get in one if they see me, Jesse, or Drew. Okay? Because if you go to New Cannon or Darien, Connecticut, and we walked around, we look like we're scouting houses. They just think of the movie Home Alone. And they're like, are you guys going to break in and fucking try to kill my kid and break into my jewelry? We just look like three swarthy Romanians.

We look like Romanians. We look like gypsies. And they want us out of their town. And so that's why wasps like to be next to the boat, just so they have the option to flee. They want the option to flee if they see me or you guys in the neighborhood. So I will be in Dallas, Texas april 1st to the 3rd get your tickets yannispappascomedy.com or google it okay if you can't find the tickets you're 60 and you're probably watching this show because that's my demographic and i've understood that

people like when are you gonna go on logan paul's fucking podcast that's what drew just asked me you should what's it called the it's called impulsive impulsive why haven't you gone impulsive and to be honest with you i don't know if i'm legally allowed to go on that child show he could be my son how old is he drew i could have had you i could have had you in i could have had you in in high school that's the age difference my wife is closer to your age than she is mine. How old are you now? I am 67 years old, but I'm Greek. I have strong Greek teeth. We use olive oil here. Don't put the lotion.

Put the olive oil. Well, over 40, you're just 40 forever. Exactly. I'm over 40. Drew, you're a 23-year-old kid, and you're shot out of a cannon. Cannon. Yanni Biden's cannon.

New cannon. You're shot out of a cannon. Cannon. Yanni Biden's cannon. New cannon. You're shot out of a cannon. I got stuck on the word cannon. I got shit. And Jesse, why are you looking more and more like a bass player for a country band? I mean, I'm going to bring scissors and just sneak up behind you and snap that fucking. I mean, you got party in the back going right now. You got a mullet hard.

Sneak it out of your car hard fucking hat. I'm going to tell you pretty soon to put up a drywall i got working class trash in my house right now i gotta get rid of them anyway we got a lot to talk about um had a great time over at soul joel's drew came with me um and we want the footage joel and uh we had a great time sold it out thank you guys for selling out the show i had an amazing time in royersford, PA. A lot of fans from, a lot of trash from Philly. I mean, if you're in, Philly's a scandalous town.

Philly's a, I mean, if Monaco is the royal family, then Philly is Meghan Merkle. Okay, that's what happens. You know, that's like a, Meghan Merkle marrying Prince Harry from like whatever C show she was on is like a guy from philly in an eagles jersey sneaking into the royal palace with a cheesesteak okay and construction boots on saying go eagles i mean security will hem you up quicker

and a hoagie and a hoagie. And a hoagie. I want to go home. Yeah, I said at the show, I was like, you guys are tough, crazy people, and you like to fight a lot. But I got to say, if we ever got into a scrap over a sandwich, I would giggle right before you punch me when you say, hey, man, did you just touch me, hoagie? Nobody should pucker up their mouth that hard to say sandwich.

Hoagie. Go home. Yeah, go whom. You want to go whom? Go whom. And yeah, their main store is Wawa's. And I'll just lay this down so I don't have to say it live anymore. Okay? Because I've been pretending like it's been coming off the top of my head for four years.

40 years. When I perform in Philadelphia, I always pretend like this joke is coming off the top of my head. So let's just lay it down on a long day's episode. Okay? Wawas. I'll tell you why they call it wawas. Okay? Because I don't know if you've ever been to South Jers, Dirty Jers, or the Philly area,

but they're animals. Okay? That's why they got jails outside of the Eagle Stadium. They got the girls out there fucking, what do they call it? Pregaming? What's it called when you pregame? Tailgate. Tailgating.

Girls are out there fucking farting in their Philly hats. Fuck you, Sean. Fuck you. What are you, who? And they call it Wawa's because you guys get so hammered. They just wanted to name the restaurant convenience store slash everything. They wanted to name it a sound just so they knew the taxi driver or Uber driver would take you there

when you got into the back seat and just said take me so if they will basically any sound you're drunk fucking trash mouth makes at two in the morning we'll get you to wawa's you will stop at wawa's mission accomplished that's why they made it a sound it's the only fucking convenience store slash everything that is not named a word it's a sound it's like you want to if you're going anything sounds like it you go in the back seat and you're drunk you're like where you want to go and they're like hey guy wants to go to Wawa's and let me tell you something Philly especially for drunk people it's not conducive to have to be a computer programmer or a coder to order a fucking sandwich, okay? I walk into the place, there's a woman or a guy,

usually a woman who's about 450 pounds, because it is Philly, all right? And your fucking state food is a cheese steak. It's not even real cheese, it's liquid. I could drink it out of a cup, it's not cheese. Whiz, go fuck yourself. Get pizza this is new york we got real food we don't drizzle fucking yellow water on pretend steak and bread that's soaked in butter and call it our national food so there's usually i'm going hard on philly and charge 12 bucks for it charge 12 fucking bucks for it but usually you go back there there's somebody rotund. There's somebody a little rotund who's making your sandwich.

She's standing right there. It's two in the morning. Can I just tell her her order? My order? Why do I have to go step all the way over there and learn how to code to order a sandwich into the computer? God forbid I put light mayo instead of heavy mayo.

I gotta go back back back back four screens and fucking order again because somehow the order's got to go all the way up some pipe to wawa's headquarters who knows in new lancaster pennsylvania that's probably the hum quarters of wawa's and that's where the hum hum for the hoogies is and it goes all the way to Lancaster and then back down into the fucking woman who's making my sandwich. She's standing right there. I can speak to her and my order can go into her fat face. It doesn't have to go to

the computer, then go to Lancaster and then go to her. And why are you moving tickets around? I'm moving, I'm standing right in front of you. I'm not gonna lie after your show when you were saying Wawa so much, after the show, I went to Wawa. You get a hoagie?

I did. Actually, it sounds disgusting, but I got a cheeseburger, and it was actually pretty good. You got a cheeseburger at Wawa's? No, here's the thing about Wawa's, Drew, to be honest with you. The food is good. The hoagies are a home run. Here's the thing about food.

Philadelphia people, it's a known thing, they're large. Okay? I'm not talking San Antonio large. Okay? San Antonio, the people are so large. Shout out to Charles Barkley. You nailed it. They're so large in San Antonio, there's actually a city ordinance that says that buildings

can only be so high because they don't want any people standing on the top floor and causing a solar eclipse. So you can only have a couple of stories in San Antonio by city ordinance so sunlight can get through. That's how big those fucking people are. You'll see scooters. You ever go to these cities now, there's just scooters? Cities like San Antonio and Austin,

there's just scooters that are littered all over the place because you can rent the scooter, drive it, and then just leave it where it is, drop it down, which is odd if you come from a real city, like a D1 city, and not one of these community college fucking cities, these D3 cities, these St. Joe cities, these white basketball team D3 cities. New York's a real fucking city. We don't got fucking these scooters running around. So if you

didn't know any better like first time i was in san antonio and i went there i saw scooters litter all around it just looked like somebody had kidnapped a bunch of kids and nobody had called the cops i'm like is anyone searching for all these missing children i mean did the movie it come to life in san francisco and steal all the children or did the fat people eat them you fat fucking circle people stop eating corona is gonna get you there is no cure for corona it's gonna be back every fucking year there's gonna be a new strand you know what the cure is take your vitamins brother your vitamin d listen to joe rogan all right alphabet soup cures corona you hear 78 of the people hospitalized for Corona were obese.

They were obese? Now you sound like Yanni. Well, the cure for Corona is don't be fat. You just told me you were on the honor roll at Brownsville Community College in the middle of Jersey, and you just called it obese. I said T. I like obese better than the word obese. Yeah, it works. Yeah.

By the way, go to- I'm from Jersey, too. Yeah, you works. Yeah. By the way, go to Jersey too. Yeah, you're from Jersey. So, I mean, you should be in jail to be honest with you. Everyone, can we just lock up the state of Jersey? Just lock it up. Or let all the black bears that are in Jersey just start eating people. I think that's what we should do. Jersey, Jersey is just, it's like New York's, it's like New York's It's like New York's

It's like the Manhattan Bridge It's like New York is the Brooklyn Bridge You know that's like the brother that Went to college maybe Ivy League And then Jersey is like the Manhattan Bridge Went to DeVry DeVry University online

Just a recovering meth addict. Yeah, dipped into a little, you know, heroin here and there. You know, hasn't been home in a while. Did come home. The parents got happy and thought that Jersey came home in order for the holidays, but Jersey was just there to steal some money out of mom's pocketbook.

Jersey's the Manhattan Bridge right next to New York. New York is that fucking clean, pristine, college-educated, mama's boy, Brooklyn Bridge. There's a difference. So thank you, everybody, who came out in the fine city of Philly. I like you guys. I was going on a rant, and I switched over to—I went over to San Antonio. I was about to say something about Philly, and I don't remember. Something about them being large.

Scooters. Yeah, and the scooters, we went over there but yeah I mean Americans were large Americans were large people that's why corona hit us so hard the thing is we're at a point right now where it's very hard depending on fucking what your timeline is telling you okay what kind of bars do you go to? Because we have completely separated into two different Americas. One that likes to drink their beers with their crusty, frozen, freeze-dried, boneless chicken fingers at Buffalo Wild Wings

and watch sports everywhere and not watch sports at the same time. And then those who are going to, you know, and watch sports everywhere, and not watch sports at the same time. And then those who are going to, you know, bars that you can play board games at. There's this section, do you want to play Battleship? No, nobody plays Battleship in the bar. It's just a section of board games and books, and the place smells like wet dogs and spilled beer, and everyone's got tightly laced New Balance on. And we're in an inner city.

And we pretend like we're not scared to walk home at 4 o'clock in the morning in the middle of Bushwick, New York. Even though our friend Karen disappeared last Saturday. We're just going to pretend like it didn't happen. And we're going to still vote for Kamala. Even though Karen is missing, she's missing. She walked home drunk yesterday in Brooklyn and she's gone. Look, New York's a dangerous place again. I want to see how long these hipsters that moved here continue to just be like, you know what? Stop it.

Stop it. Diversity. Karen's missing, but nothing is going to fucking. Are you kidding me? I'm staying. I'm never moving back to Schaumburg, Illinois. You kidding me? I'm not getting a job at Panera Bread.

I'm not going to hold the buzzer. I'm not going to be the one punching those keypads to make your fucking pants vibrate to let you know there's a table where you can order half a sandwich and a soup from a woman that's got a name tag that says Panera. I'm staying in Williamsburg. Exactly.

So I don't know how long they're going to hold on, but I do think we should have some sort of like dream police at this point, especially now that the economy's, we need people, we need to create, we need to create some new markets. You know, the woke market and then the canceling market are very important. You have to stop being mad at cancel culture. Cancel culture is a viable market. It's like when you go to school and you study English or some other bullshit liberal arts field, you know, when they teach you how to read books or whatever,

they go, go home and read this book. You're like, okay, I could have paid zero money and done gender studies. Yeah, exactly. Gender studies,

whatever, whatever the classes are. And then the professors, you go like, okay, to your professor, what, what am I going to,

what am I going to do when I get it? Or is it, what's the job market for someone who's read these books? You go, you okay, to your professor, what am I going to do when I get out of here? What's the job market for someone who's read these books? You go, you're going to cancel. You're going to peruse tweets. You're going to listen to podcasts. It's a vital part of the economy. It's actually part of the economy now. Like suing or pressuring companies,

and then you write a book, and then you write a book. We are living in a fun fun time right before the collapse of a great empire this is like you know if you look back at ancient greece you look back at rome you look back at the ottoman empire any empire there is a fun little slither here we're in that little slither right before the fall where you just got people just like popping up being like i want to say this and people get pissed and then they go now i'm gonna write a book about it and then the people everyone's trolling everyone like i feel like candace owens book is just bought by people who are just who just want to troll white

fragility it's like just have a tug of war let's make it into some sort of camp olympics where we put the right and the left on different sides and different bunks and they play manhunt except with real guns. We do real guns in camp and you guys fucking capture the flag and you figure out how to war and it's the white fragility crew on one side and the Candace Owings Blegzit book on the other side

because I'll tell you who buys Blegzit. I bet you the people who bought Blegzit didn't even read it they just wanted to support it to trawl white fragility and I bet you the people because I read like three pages of both and I mean fuck have we fallen off from the great days of Shakespeare and Chaucer and Hemingway and John Steinbeck. And I opened up the first page of Blacks. And it's like, hey, what's up? I used to be fucking lib, okay? I went to this school. Now I'm conservative.

Black people don't have to be liberal. You can be conservative. Okay, I got the book. That's it, you know? So nobody's reading the whole thing. Just like nobody's reading the whole thing of white fragility because you know what it's about.

You know what it's about. It's not like reading Of Mice and Men that changes your life. It's the Bible for normal people or fucking, what's the fucking book I'm thinking of? East of Eden, which is the Bible for normal people.

One of the best fiction books I've ever read that was the most meaningful. John Steinbeck, East of Eden. He considered it his magnum opus, but he was scorned because his wife cheated on him. He was fucking another guy so he did make

what was her name Kathy kind of in her image the girl that cheated on him and he had kids with her and she was fucking somebody else

and she left him so the guy was emotionally hurt and he wrote East of Eden and of course he considered it his magnum opus because he was hurt

his ego was blown and the guy who was fucking his ex-wife probably had a big a chawin probably had a big, a schween, probably had a Pete Davidson fucking bat. That fucking skinny little Staten Island trash has got a fucking bat on him.

I mean, that kid, I mean, dude, he's like fucking, he's like Vladimir Guerrero. I mean, he puts it into the stance. Because cuz, there's no kid that looks like, I mean, the kid into the stance Because cuz There's no kid that looks like I mean the kid looks like he was reanimated from a coffin Like a vampire Yeah I mean he looks like a vamp

He looks like he just beat some sort of He has a stomach virus at all times You know cause he's skinny And you know he's handsome in a weird way And he's like 17 And he's banging like 40 yearyear-old fucking four Rome pieces. I'm talking about women that I would put in my harem if I was an emperor in Rome and would be protected by fucking Drew who would have no nuts.

And because he's a big kid, I'd make him my eunuch. And he'd be like, we're doing pretty good, boss. I fought him off good, boss. So he's got a bat. I mean, and also, I'm just, you know, I know Pete is hilarious. He dated Kate Beckinsale.

Kate Beckinsale. Come on. Yeah, and also the other, the small girl. Ariana Grande? I mean, do you know what? He must have split that girl. Do you know what that,

she's a tiny little girl, dude. She's a tall kid. She's like 4'8". You know what she looked like when she was riding him? She looked like when you put an extra eraser on a pencil you know the eraser you got from the school fair yeah you know the eraser that goes on the pencil you know when your pencil eraser gets down so low and you just like you're you're like uh you know you're like you you're you're a mother who grew up during Nazi Germany or something.

You were like my mother who grew up during Nazi occupation. She wouldn't just go get another fucking pencil because the eraser's down. So she'd take the eraser and put it on top. That's what Ariana Grande probably looked like on Pete Davidson's fucking glue gun. Yeah, one of those. Yeah. You don't even know what that is because you went to finger painting school. If it's not a paintbrush, you can't recognize it.

Kid's got a bat, dude. Banging out Ari on the ground. They got her to marry him. Okay? Pete Davidson's a good kid, but he's got a bat. And I don't know what I'm talking about. Let's play a little fucking comment roulette.

We're looking down. Get Pete on here. That would be funny. Pete is not hot. Pete, it's kind of, there's two pete it's there's two camps they're just like there's two camps with white fragility and by the way i was in the bookstore the other day and i opened white fragility and someone had just ripped 14 pages up and then i saw like someone had spit in it and then i went and i opened blexit and it was the same thing so it's like

it's and you know what's ironic and funny is that Blexit is a conservative book written by a black woman who they call white supremacist if she's a nazi dude and Yaelos Mopopovitz is a nazi he's like a gay dude with a black boyfriend and she's a nazi you got to admit the nazis are the most progressive group around i mean they've come a long way if they're letting jews and blacks into the nazis and then you go to like an ultra liberal comedy show and the audience is all white so it looks like a nazi rally so the irony is hilarious they're all wearing Hugo Boss suits. They're all wearing Hugo Boss. I mean, the irony is fucking hilarious when you think about it.

And then White Fragility was written by a woman who's white. About White Fragility, her name is Robin DeAngelis. And she gets paid about $20,000, $30,000 every time she goes to a college campus. What would it be like to go listen to Robin DeAngelis give a speech? I just told like, it would just be like, she would go in there and she would go, Hey guys, if you're white, you're racist, you have to acknowledge it. You know, I would recommend you take a belt and hang yourself once a night. Okay. Put yourself on notice regularly whip yourself. That's like when I,'s like when I'm performing at a comedy show

and I'd say like a joke that like the whole audience is laughing at or whatever, obviously all funny jokes are inappropriate, right? That's what makes them funny. The class clown wasn't funny because he was saying the right thing at the right time. So, and then you see the millennials in there just kind of struggling like a Catholic priest

around a child, just kind of holding it in. Just, you know, it's like a Catholic priest who sees some porn and just like, you know, or a hot woman and it just struggles with it that's like how millennials struggle with jokes they're going you just could see that they're going they're holding it in they just want to take a belt and whip themselves they go home and say i sinned tonight i sinned i laughed at a transphobic joke i sinned i sinned but instead of sounding like they go i sinned i sinned. I sinned. But instead of sounding like that, go, I sinned. I sinned. It was fucking lit.

It wasn't lit. I wasn't here for it. I wasn't here for it. I watched Giannis Pappas' comedy show. Okay? He said, that's it. That is an impressive character. Okay?

Whipping myself. Fuck, I went to Starbucks. It was a mistake. It's a big corporation. It doesn't support small business. They don't have board games in the corner and doesn't smell like spilled beer and wet dogs yeah where's the Scrabble I gotta whip myself

they didn't have fucking Monopoly in the corner corporations supporting evil corporations oh my god it's an illegal occupation happening at the border and I I had a thought the other day where I thought maybe it's good to have border security like every other country in the world.

And then I whipped myself. Don't do that. Open the border. Tell them to come back. It's okay. Everything is going to be fine. They self-flagellate. Millennials self-flagellate.

Gen Z, like Drew, it's a welcome change. Because let me tell you about Gen Z. They're nihilists. They don't believe in anything. We see Drew now. He's an innocent kid. After a year of hanging around me, okay, the kid's going to start killing squirrels.

He's going to tattoo his face, and he's going to start a rap career. But here's the funny thing about the Gen Zs. I think Jake Paul's Gen Z too, right? He's like in his 20s or something start killing squirrels. He's going to tattoo his face and he's going to start a rap career. But here's the funny thing about the Gen Z's. I think Jake Paul's Gen Z too, right? He's like in his 20s or something, early 20s. The funny thing about them... We're the same age, so he might be. Here's the difference. His brother's a millennial though.

Huh? His brother's a millennial. Yeah. And his brother's like on the anti-walk. He punches himself in the balls and boxes and whatever the fuck he does. So here's the thing. Here's the the funny thing the difference between our generation we were growing up we had like very specific things we wanted to be we knew that we were very realistic

like what can i do like i almost started comedy out of necessity because i was so bad at everything else that finally i realized the only thing I was ever good at was tucking my dick between my legs and running around and yelling la puss at parties and being called a robo cheese man which was my nickname because I was a funny kid so it finally hit me at about 23 24 the only thing I can do is comedy it was a very practical decision I didn't do this because I wanted to live the dream it's not that great of a life to be honest with you I performed in a fucking tent On Sunday Okay

I mean you know It's going to be a very strange daddy daughter day When I go to my daughter's school And I have to explain to my daughter She goes what does daddy do for work And I said you know while you were sleeping last night sweetie Daddy snuck downstairs by the boiler And did a Did a comedy set on Clubhouse,

which is basically a group phone call. And Margaret Cho was on it and she bombed. Margaret, here's the deal. Me and you, let's just become the characters that made people laugh. Because us as ourselves, nobody wants it. We'll do a tour, me and Margaret Cho. She becomes her mother and I just become Marisa.

Okay, just be your mother, Margaret Cho. Just talk like your immigrant mother. That's what we want to hear. And nobody wants to hear Yanni Longdays. They want to hear me go, I used to hang out with Drew's family and all the girls he dated. I'm friends with their mothers. Drew's young.

I'm telling you, I'm a girl in my 40s. Don't date myself. My skin looks good. That's it. That's it. I put Listerine on the ass, pussy. That's it. That's it.

Okay, comment roulette. LOL, do not do Overheard ever again. That show was trash. All that fake laughter was unbearable. What is he talking about? Oh, that's the show. That's the show I did the show i did oh yeah but i crushed it didn't i wait that's the comedy show that's the comedy show on clubhouse so it's basically it's basically a comedy show uncle i mean give them credit i mean there's a pandemic and they're figuring out a way to tell jokes i

mean comedians who do stand-up are the most resilient dreamers you'll ever know. Because most of them aren't ever gonna make any money because like it's all over. But if you can figure out a hustle, like some sort of fucking hustle like that, like this, like whatever, you know, sell some t-shirts, whatever it is, butt plugs, whatever you're doing, sell it.

Like they did. I mean, basically it's a show and then there's no laughter. You hear the other comedians laughing to fill the void. It's basically like an open mic with 1,000 people watching who are muted. You don't know whether you're doing good or not. I just said I enjoyed it because I was in my 40s, and I wish all the audiences couldn't speak because my favorite thing is silence.

I crushed it because I'm a simp for you, Daddy. Okay, yas, Daddy, yas. Go to patreon.com slash yannylongdays. I mean, I got to start putting out teasers for those episodes. Thatas daddy yas go to patreon.com slash yanni long days i mean those episodes i gotta start putting out teasers for those episodes that's what we're gonna do crew's gonna do we're gonna put a little teaser so you get a little hint of what the bonus episodes are like bonus huh i got the marisa one finished by tonight too okay cool fucking drew's on a work horse i appreciate it and um so the episodes come out now Wednesday. Every Wednesday is a bonus episode.

And of course, Yanni Long Days, every Sunday at noon, that's what it's going to be for the rest of this journey until I lose my feet or whatever or have a brain aneurysm take me out. You know, because we're not here forever, you know, unless you, and if you feel like your health is, just pray to Allah, so I had a good time, and one more comment roulette, Yanni, I'm on the toilet, and I haven't pinched the loaf, my Mexican ass has got the fumar, so this was a time where I looked down, we played comment roulette, and it was a funny one. Okay?

Sometimes you look down and it's a comment you don't want to read, and that's the fun. It's a comment like, Yanni's career is going down. So that's the fun of comment roulette. I look down, do you hate Chrissy? See? I looked down at the wrong time. Whenever I look down, I will read whatever I see. So keep commenting, watch the show live, and have a lot of fun.

Because nothing is real anymore anyway. Nothing is real. It's what you can sell. We're living in an era of charlatans. Truth is what you can sell. Now, the difference between our generations, like I was saying, is we grew up with very specific practical decisions. Like Jesse went into advertising because all he could do was finger paint.

He's an artist. He has artistic talent. Okay? And that's pretty much the scope of his ability. That's it. That's it. I mean, you can't run fast. You got a heart murmur.

Yeah. Yeah. I ain't going nowhere. Yeah. I mean, I'm trying to think of what else you're telling. You're pretty good at building shit because you come from a long line of shit shovelers. A long line of Italian

shit shovelers. You know, we're immigrant kids. Yeah, he has nice beanies. He's got nice fucking beanies, but his talent for art is off the charts, but that's how I know

Justin Timberlake has a small penis because if you have a great talent in something, then you got nothing other, and that's why I know he's not a human being. He was made by the American government because he's got too many talents.

Jesse Scaturo has one finger painting. I have one cursing into a microphone. And that's it. So we made our decisions very practical. Now Drew's generation, Drew's generation and the millennials. I think the millennials and Gen Z are funny because when you ask them what they want to do,

they go, everything. Okay? It's like Jake Paul. It's like, what are you, Jake Paul? He's like, well, I'm a YouTuber. I'm a boxer. I'm a merch dropper. And I'm a Chinese star.

I'm a Chinese, I'm a merch dropper and I'm a Chinese spy. So you can be everything. You ask Drew what he wants to do. He's like, Drew, I want to make videos. I want to, I want to, I want to. I wants to do he's like drew i want to make videos i want to i want to i want to i want to be steven spielberg i want to be steven spielberg but i also want to replace naz i want to replace naz as the most respected fucking kid with bars ever and i want to i don't know i want to be metal world peace in retirement i also want to be a comedian

i'd also like to build cars and i want to be a cowboy i also would like to own a vape store with chris kirkpatrick so you want to do everything because the world is your oyster because you're growing up in a world where anything truly is possible and you could be a comedian like in the era i came out i had to yeah i am huh yeah i could i am? Why not? Here's the deal. I'm a journalist and a woman. Who cares? I'm a journalist and a scientist. Tell me I'm not. I identify as this chair.

Yeah, I mean, fuck it. Robin DiAngelo's an author. That's how, I mean, authors used to be like Hemingway, fucking James Baldwin. You read it and you go, wow, I'm hearing something profound. Not, here's-

Fran Lebowitz. Huh? Fran Lebowitz is a fucking, she's a photographer. She's a... You're thinking of Andy Lebowitz. Oh, so it's my fault. I just got corrected by a 23-year-old. Is Fran Lebowitz a writer?

Scorsese just did a little documentary about her on Netflix. And who is she? She's a comedic writer. She makes novels, but it's like comedy-based. Okay. She sounds like a feminist to me. She's an old Jewish woman that hates everything. Fun.

She's real funny. Yeah. Dude, you are into things I wouldn't think you were into. If you come around next and tell me that you really enjoyed the last Wes Anderson movie, I'm going to throw a pen at you. You know who Wes Anderson is? Name a movie. Name one of his movies.

Royal Tenenbaums. Royal Tenenbaums. Loved it. Did you see it? No, you didn't see it. No, I didn't see it. But you're into Fran Lebowitz? Because you can't have Bulk Jiliagas and also be watching Fran Lebowitz.

The next thing you can tell me. I'm a renaissance man. I love everything. Yeah, I mean. It was because it was on the front page of Netflix. And I watched it. Yeah. And then I watched all her interviews on David Letterman and she's pretty funny. Fran Lebowitz.

I should know who Fran Lebowitz is because I'm supposed to be. You'll know by looking at her. Yeah. I'm supposed to know. I don't know who she is. Somebody has just asked me how are you celebrating Chinese love today? I am going to get a punch of empty water bottles and put them into a... Yeah, I don't recognize her at all.

She looks like Ruth Bader Ginsburg to me. She looks like Ruth Bader Ginsburg 10 years ago. She was the first lesbian ever. Oh, I remember. She's important. That's what everyone, you got to make history now. You got to make history. Anytime you hear about somebody, they're like they were the first of something.

The first of something. So Frannie Liberwitz was, she's, you just said she was the first lesbian? Yeah, you said the first lesbian ever. Why not? You heard it here on Yanni Long Days. People always ask, who's the first lesbian yeah you said the first lesbian ever why not you heard it here on Yanni Long Days people always ask who's the first lesbian ever and we're gonna go with Franny Leibovitz I told you I'm a comedian

so it was a joke I mean you're also you're also fucking on the deeds list right 3.7 yeah so we're sitting here I mean one kid studied communications the other one went to art school and this one I mean how the hell I got into American University you tell me i failed everything my mother wrote all my papers that's what we did yanni pappy getting that stimmy stimmy yes so what happened last week you can listen to at patreon.com

slash yanni long days i did a whole episode of black twitter apparently trying to cancel me because of the tweet that said, if you call it a stimmy check, you definitely spend it on sneakers. And then I posted a video clip from the podcast last week where I was essentially saying the same thing that made me think of that tweet. And it was all about sneaker heads and kids so people just can make your tweet whatever they want to make it if they're looking to be offended the only people thinking about race in that tweet was you guys i wasn't thinking oh this is how black kids it's like everyone calls it a fucking stimmy and it's true because my mother has alzheimer's she can't speak and she they called me and she said your mother wants to know what you're doing

with your stimmy check. It's true because all my friends that are getting their stimmy checks are buying sneakers with it. It's not like it's a fake. It's not false. And all your friends are different races, right? They're all Hispanic. I'm the only white person I know.

You guys. There you go. So there's two other white people. Let me tell you something, Drew. Keep that up. Don there's you know two other white people let me tell you something drew keep that up don't get to know too many white people the way your friend group is right now is the way it should be i'm trying to get white people out of my life and replace them right now i'm curating my friends i want my friends to look like a community college poster on the train so i'm trying to fill slots right now. So if there's a Chinese guy out there, South Asian specifically, Indian,

I'm not doing the Pakistani. Okay, that will come later. First, I'm gonna fill the Indian spot and make zero mistake. There will be a Romanian in between the Indian and the Pakistani because I can't have you guys sitting together or else you'll kill each other.

And I want an Asian, South Asian. I want three African-American women who identify as lesbian. And I want two big bodied people. I want two big, beautiful people who defy the industry's standard and also the medical profession. You're on the medical profession you're on fucking notice you're on fucking notice for calling me obese in my appeal which you can also hear i read my appeal from my

insurance when i had covid where they call me obese they called me an obese man it did when my my insurance tried to not cover me from my hospital stay during COVID, and then it was overturned because I was at high risk of dying from COVID because I was obese. So that was a good time. That episode is actually going up tonight, patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. When you watch this, this would be three days ago. So go to patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. You need to support. You need to support the comedy that you like. People always say, I hate what I'm seeing on TV. No, I shouldn't be proactive. No, I shouldn't be proactive about supporting the comedy. No, I don't understand why HBO and Netflix put out such better content than regular TV. It's because it's subscription-based. If you crawl behind a paywall

to cancel somebody, you kind of look like an idiot because they just basically go like, hey man, just cancel your subscription. You subscribed. So like, this is a subscription, you know, our content doesn't have to be approved by Dove Soaps, you know, board. Okay. You don't have to represent the people who are paying you to sell Dove Soap because basically when you see TV, it's a commercial for commercials. That's what they never tell you. Every TV show you watch is a commercial to get you to watch so then they can play their commercials. They want you to watch the commercials.

They don't give a shit about the show. That's the first thing I learned because I was a communication media, but a concentration in television production. They said, do you know why we watch TV? Because of commercials. Exactly. That's what they get paid.

It's all about commercials. Yeah, nobody ever really thinks about that, but that's what it's about. The Super Bowl, they just put it on TV because commercials are like, oh, we get a lot of people to look at our brand. Exactly. So that's why you get watered down content. And that's why HBO and Netflix puts out such better stuff. Game of Thrones, Queen's Gabbit, the list goes on because they're only responsible to the people.

So here is a similar model. That's why Patreon's so great. That's why everyone's supporting Tim Dillon and Andrew Schultz and all these other podcasts because it's funny. This is the only place you can actually do uncensored comedy, but you have to be proactive and support it. Patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. And you're not only just supporting, you're getting content.

You're getting an extra fucking episode. People say, Yanni, one's not enough. Can you do two a week? I do do two a week, you cheap fucker. And we read your name. And we read your fucking name at the end. Drew reads it. I used to friggin'—I would subscribe to History Anas,

then unsubscribe, and subscribe, and subscribe, just so I could get any new names read to make you guys laugh here we go with a little more comment roulette if Yanni gets cancelled he will pull the trump card and fully transition to Marisa and go beyond reproach yes I will yes I will

Yannis when are you making another comedy special right now you're watching it I've done 11 hours of this this is comedy it's all the same come see me live i don't know if i'm gonna write another bit again i'm just gonna riff for the rest of my life because jokes seem contrived now i heard kimmel today on the radio down he was saying they were playing some take he had does anyone want to hear kimmel's take on anything anymore does anyone want to hear an advertiser approved take on anything when you have the option to hear an uncensored tape take on on the internet it's

like watching the Tonight Show set from Johnny Carson before HBO did Def Comedy Jam it's like yeah that set seemed like the most amazing thing because it's Plato's Allegories of the Cave. The amenities of modernity hadn't opened your eyes. And once cable came on and you saw some uncensored comedy, you go, oh, now I've been exposed to something that's a little more uncensored. That shit seems dated. That's the same thing as listening to Kimmel's jokes,

late night jokes. Here's my 10 minutes of monologue jokes. Shut the fuck up. I want to hear Tim Dillon rant for 20 minutes about his Aunt Kathleen. That's what I want to hear. Now here's the situation, which is very interesting. Just like we can section off the country

into people who buy white fragility to troll Blegzit and people who buy Blegzit to troll the book White Fragility, you can kind of break the country up into, because we're two countries. I mean, it's break the country up into, because we're two countries. I mean, it's just, there's no, we're just two countries. We're just two teams right now, shirts and skins. It's what it is, okay? It's what we have going on.

And you can break the country up into COVID alarmists and COVID deniers. And they both got their heroes. One used to have Cuomo. Okay, Cuomo, who, by the way. Used to. Yeah, Cuomo is, you know, Cuomo is. Didn't wrote that book.

Yeah, he wrote that book about how he was a hero. And then the little detail that he left out of that book was he killed a lot of old people. Here's the deal. His wife kicked him out once she found out he had been harassing all these girls. And then the irony is he went to go sleep at his elderly mom's house. And he couldn't get any sleep because every time he moved, the plastic around the couch went squish. He's an Italian kid. You know his mother hit him with a sauce spoon in the head

he came in ma i got no way to go ma him and his brother walking they walked in him and his brother walked in he said ma you gotta hide me okay they're looking for me and she goes come in here you're always welcome here but then she said what are you fucking doing i told you not to mess around with these whores and she hit him in the head with a fucking wooden sauce spoon and said, you can sleep on the couch, but don't take the plastic off. That's for company.

So Cuomo, one side had Cuomo, the other side had Governor DeSantis. Cuban family. I told you, Cubans are hardcore Republicans. Okay, you don't swim here on a piece of wood and

then get here and go like i i want i want to i want this place to be exactly the place i just swam from okay they just swam from as far left as you can get communism they come here and they're like dude let's get rid of the government let me do it give me my own gun we'll do it ourselves fun fact my aunt was in the opening scene a scar face when all the boats are coming in that's why we need drew around because drew gives us things i could care less about but you might depending on your age drew is important because drew will tell me the shit i don't care about but that is interesting in today's world i'm looking down and all i see is sauce monkey. So that's what happens.

That is something we came up with on History Ahina to describe Italian people. Sauce monkey, happy potato monkey day. Potato monkey day, I was about to say that. And let me tell you something, St. Patrick. Let me tell you something, Irish people. You are fucking unnoticed. You're un-fucking-noticed.

Let me tell you why. Fucking Scottish people. Scottish people have bagpipes. Not fucking Irish people. Scottish people wear dresses. Plus, you're appropriating fucking trans culture. You're appropriating feminine culture. Don't be fucking walking around with your flutes and your fucking skirts.

Okay? That is fucking offensive to the trans community. Work it, girl. Turn to the left. Work it, girl. Turn to the right. Do it, girl. Turn to the right. Do your thing on the runway. Fucking yes to the

squad. You're a fucking idiot. You're a fucking notice, Irish people. Okay? Do your culture. Walk around juggling potatoes and drinking

fucking green beer and punches you down there in the face until your face looks like a pizza and neither one of you can get knocked out because you don't. Getting punched in the face means nothing compared to the horror of the potato famine

when you couldn't eat and you still feel that or the British and what they've been doing to you for generations. Do your culture, Irish people. There's no reason. Do you understand?

Do you understand? There's no reason for you to adopt Scottish people's culture. You're on fucking notice for cultural appropriation. This jury is adjourned. How great is it going to be when there's actually like a canceled court on TV, Judge Judy edition? It's like Judge Judy's millennial daughter who takes over and goes, we're here to cancel.

What's the situation here? Okay, we have Will Forte's new show about suicide that misrepresents, is a dangerous, dangerous, triggering show for people who've attempted suicide. The show, vote is on Ned S. Remove the show. You're canceled. Okay, who's up next?

Nick Cannon, you're forgiven. Nick Cannon, welcome back. Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. Nick Cannon is back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Nick Cannon is back. After what can only be described as finally Nick Cannon decided to do real comedy.

It was my only favorite special from Nick Cannon. Because whatever other horseshit he'd been doing before that was exactly what I just called. He did have one special I seen, I remember. Yeah, well, it was a talk. It was a talk. Okay? It was... Look, there's a lot of talk about torture methods

that you can do, you know, and counterterrorism and stuff, but I recommend putting on Nanette's special and then washing it down with a good Nick Cannon special. Imagine you do that one, two punch. You will tell the Musad, whatever they ask you, you don't have to waterboard. You don't have to torture. Just sit them down like in clockwork orange and hold their eyes open like this and make them watch that. Not even Nanette, the first one. What's

her name? Whatever her name is, her second one that nobody cares about. The one that just came out the second. I don't remember her last name. Hannah Gatsby. So you can torture people by making them watch Hannah Gatsby and then washing it down with a good old Nick Cannon while an out episode that doesn't have Cat Williams on it. Not even his special. I want to see a Nick Cannon special. So Nick Cannon now is on a big apology tour and it's hilarious.

He's doing a podcast with some spiritual Jews. Viacom is forgiving him. I heard an interview with him where he says he's not asking for forgiveness. He's asking for atonement. And he said, you know, the Jews have an ancient Yiddish word for atonement. I'm doing. I'm getting my.

Did you have a bar mitzvah? No. Yeah, you did. What's the word? What's the word he's talking about from my home? Meshuggah. I have no idea. It's funny.

Hopefully we can find it. Maybe you cut to it because he said it in his interview where he's he's doing a Meshugganah or something and he started speaking Yiddish and it's really funny

is it a mitzvah? maybe I don't know what it's called but here's the thing when you are completely made by the system you have to apologize the way the system wants

and it's good to see Nick Cannon growing huh? I don't know what it sounds And it's good to see Nick Cannon growing. Huh? I don't know what it sounds like. It's in Yiddish. I don't know. And here's the thing.

People are, the thing that got him canceled in the first place where he lost all these deals and shows and radio shows, something like that. We'll find it in post and maybe you'll put it up because you can actually hear Nick Cannon say it. That the funny part is hearing him say the word which is hilarious the funny thing is like everyone focused just on the anti-semitism which was bad right but he also called like white people uh with savages he was like we're close to the animals he goes if you

look at the melanin it was like i was watching um an is Israelite on the street. And please stop canceling those guys. Those guys are fucking hilarious. When you see a black guy in a robe carrying a cane looking like a wizard. They look like they're dressed as wizards yelling at white people walking down the street, calling them devils and telling them they got leprosy and that they lived in a cave. I mean, come on, dogs. It doesn't get better than that. Do not stop that.

I used to stop at every Israelite when I saw them standing on fucking buckets. They set up buckets and they just stand on them. And they just yell at white people walking down the street. I mean, that is the best entertainment you could ever pay for. And you get it for free if you're in New York City. So please stop. Let Nick Cannon do his comedy. That's my point.

If he wants to call white people savages and closer to animals, that's hilarious. I mean, what's the problem? That's the funniest thing Nick Cannon's ever done. Basically, what he said about Jews is that they're not the real Semites black people it's the same thing Israelites said so and he was getting interviewed by the guy who got kicked out of um uh public enemy I think it's Professor Griff or something look that up Drew so he was doing a podcast with the dude. Imagine being too militant for Chuck D

in the 80s. Remember Blackwatch when they used to walk around and protect black people? Yeah, man. I mean, if you didn't, I mean, that's what cancel culture is so hard

for people like me and Jesse who grew up in the 80s and 90s in New York. Like, Jesus Christ, we're talking about feelings now? We're down to feelings? Do you know how lucky and spoiled you are by the amenities of modernity

to be able to talk about feelings? You can't do anything right now. You can't say any uncomfortable truth or truth if it hurts one people's feelings. We are kowtowing our entire culture. Professor Griff. Yeah, I mean, Drew, his timing, we're gonna work on his timing a little bit wait till he finishes yeah but or don't it doesn't matter people love it either way i'm looking down where do i buy tickets for the nick

canon chris delia and louis ck comedy tour you see sometimes you ask and the Russian roulette that is comment roulette gives what what was I calling it comment roulette right comment roulette so once in a while it gives thank you very much very funny there's a lot of hearts going people appreciated it I don't know where you get those tickets but I assume you could probably find them on Louis Jomez's website i'm sure gas digital will pick up that tour and throw it on and milo yakukapovich can open for him and uh you know aaron berg will do blackface it's what we'll do i love aaron berg hilarious kid these are uh check out his podcast um so the deep fakes you sent me this is a wild world we're coming into it kind of goes in line with kids wanting to be whatever they want why wouldn't you think that you could do anything

in this country when everything's available including you could you can watch aoc in porn jesse sent me this porn video i'm not going to say whether I disciplined my piece to it or not. I am not going to reveal whether I gave my glue gun a good talking to. I'm not going to reveal whether I sat my glue gun down and said, hey, you need to be disciplined. I won't reveal that. Plead the fifth. What?

Plead the fifth. I plead the fifth. But I will reveal that if you Google, what is it? AOC deepfake porn? Mr mr deep fakes is the site you could just type aoc in the search is gonna know that so it's mr deep fakes what aoc in the search okay so mr deep fakes and aoc in the search bar it is mind-blowing dude i mean it is and also they do her voice they they can take her voice there's also you can do deep fakes and joe rogan where they take his voice and obama and they can make them say whatever they want i mean this deep fake porn dude it is aoc i mean

it's aoc's face and it moves with aoc and she talks like aoc so she has that voice it's like you're banging her while she's going like, the minimum wage has to come up. Ted Cruz almost killed me. I was hiding in an office. I almost lost my life while those white supremacists were outside invading everything. They were all Chick-fil-A slaves. And they need to be freed from Chick-fil-A's oppressive.

It's almost like you hear her voice. It's like the fucking squad is in the room. I love the squad. That's new to me. Because if I go down to the fucking basketball courts, my starting five, I'm coming with the squad. Because they're going to fucking put you on notice. Travel on notice. You can't play.

You can't play on fucking notice. She is the Beyonce of the squad. Because here's the thing. The rest of the squad is Google Maps to me. I don't know their names. I know there's Ayanna something. I know that there's the one from Minnesota. I can never remember her name.

Omar, Ilan Omar. Ilan Omar. Ilan Omar. Can you name another member of the squad? Nope. Because they're all Chris Kirkpatrick. I mean, AOC is Justin Timberlake, dogs. That's Beyonce of the squad nope because they're all chris kirkpatrick i mean aoc is justin timberlake dogs that's beyonce of the squad the rest got google maps face bad of the squad aoc is clearly got to

go solo from the squad she's got to go solo and by solo meaning you got to run for president because this shit is boring without donnie t and the only one who can light it up is fucking AOC, cuz. And that's new to me. I didn't know they could change their voice. Dude, it's her voice. That's why I don't enjoy them as much because I'll be looking at, let's say, Ariana Grande, but then I hear she sounds British,

like the porn stars, like British. That's like, it doesn't work. You got to up your deepfakes game. Can you just pull up the AOC? Pull up the AOC deepfake. No, yeah, we can put it in. I mean, we're not on fucking, not on the home shopping network.

Ilana something, the rep from Massachusetts. So there's Ilana is in the squad. She's a thick brown woman who can get it. Okay, I shouldn't have looked down. You want me to go to the site? Yeah, yeah, go to the site and pull up the deepfake while we talk about this. Deepfakes as as well because i'm saying this world is gonna the world that's coming up we're like you can make anything there's even this site now where

you can you send a picture of your dead relative and then the dead relative starts moving and comes in line and smirks at people and uh it's wild yeah i mean that is wild dude i mean that is crazy dude that is crazy it's disturbing because it like here's it's disturbing yo i mean it's just yeah yeah yeah drew's getting a fucking creeper right now. Yeah. Yeah, you're getting a creeper. We call that a creeper. Have you ever... We call that midway.

What's it called? Random bone or something syndrome. I mean, look at that. And let's hear her voice. Can you click on one real quick? Look at the other one where they have her getting eaten out by Donald Trump. Where, where, where?

Go down, dog. Go scroll down. Where was that? They have Donald trump in a america make america great again hat eating out aoc i mean yo porn is hilarious dogs i don't know where that video went but it is they have a you just say aoc trump yeah aoc trump porn yeah yo wow cuz i'm gonna grab her. Melania Trump masturbates.

Ivana Trump masturbates. People want to know why history hyenas broke up. I want to be that famous where they make e-fakes of me. That's how you know you made it. I know. You want to be famous, cuz. You want to be a rapper. You want to be a comedian.

I mean. No, I don't want to be a rapper. Here's the deal. Me and Chris were put together by a podcast boy band producer. Do you want to click on this one here, voice? Yo, Jesse, how long do you think it will be before there's producers putting together podcasts like they did boy bands?

Like, you know, it's going to happen soon. Yeah, that's coming. Like, it'll be like a pop podcast. We'll reach peak podcast. When that happens and it'll be like one dangerous guy going tough.

You remember Backstreet Boys? They'll be like one fucking Chris Kirkpatrick and then Justin Timberlake. I'm fucking a good looking guy. And then we'll have everybody. And then even the producers will have characters

be like, hey man, I'm this producer. And hey, I'm the millennial producer. Oh, look, this is right for you Yanni this is of your lane yeah there's AOC giving somebody a foot job so anything you want to get

reality is an absolute suggestion at this point about to get a virus here we go comment roulette St. Patrick proselytize Ireland because the priests were getting married and not kneeling to Rome

the serpents he chased out were in the priest's pants. I mean, Drew's timing is hilarious. Okay, let's hear it. It doesn't matter. Don't worry. Put it on. Yeah, I did, but then now I'm telling you to put it on. Does anything matter? I mean, we're watching AOC deepfake. You think I care what you did?

Put this on. You want to hear the volume? Yeah, let's hear her voice. Yas, daddy. That'd be funny if she said the stimulus check is flawed it should be double i mean dude oh that's when she doesn't dude here's the thing if aoc was giving you an oral bath she was giving you an oral massage. That's what it would look like. Is that any different than what it would look like if it was, I mean, it's so realistic.

It's scary. Are you wanting to hear this one? Yeah. Let's see if her voice. There's no volume on that. I mean, it's so fucking wild. I think they gave,

I think they didn't do her, her natties justice. I mean, she's got bigger natties than that. Does she really? She's got bombs, justice. I mean, she's got bigger natties than that. That she really is. She's got bombs, dog. All right, here we go. AOC likes her rough.

Yeah, Yanni, when are you blowing up India? Soon. I mean, this is crazy, dude. If you haven't watched this, I mean, it's insane. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is this where Donnie T smacks AOC? Yeah, right? I mean, this is good.

Yas, Donnie. Yas. I don't know why the volume's not on there. I mean, they got to take the porn to the next level and have her start talking about, like, politics. All right, it's okay. Yeah, it's okay. Real quick, look at what their logo is.

Their logo is Donald Trump. Yeah, Donald Trump is a deepfakes. Yeah, that's their logo. Yeah, it's hilarious. So check it out, Dr. Deepfakes yeah it's hilarious so check it out Dr. Deep Fakes that's what Drew moves his monkey to so supposedly

a third wave is coming third wave is coming and the question is like we were saying before DeSantis and Cuomo DeSantis the Florida numbers

and the California numbers are about on par now can you Google that right now what's the they're kind of on par so these are two approaches. And it used to be the people going like lockdown, lockdown. And then Cuomo turned out to be this guy who's killing people in nursing homes and maybe sexually harassing people or whatever he did. He's not the hero that he was.

And also the numbers are not bearing out that lockdowns were really the answer. And when you think about the harm that has been done economically, and you look at how Florida has kind of used social distancing and mask regulations and reduced capacity and stuff, but didn't totally shut down because they took the philosophy like, look, man, we can't grind the entire economy to a halt because that'll bring even worse consequences to something that, let's be honest, yes, you're playing roulette. It's a dangerous virus. But what is the death rate?

Point below 1% or 1%? This is California right here. So what's the difference between California and Florida? They're pretty tantamount. I think the numbers are pretty tantamount. And so this is something that Democrats or the left would never admit. You're never going to hear them backpedal out of the Cuomo warship, okay? And you're never going to hear, and that's what maybe the sexual harassment thing is about, is they're like, they're trying to cover the nursing home scandal by throwing a bunch of fucking sexual harassments on top.

Because it's more scandalous. You notice nobody even talks about the nursing home. That's where people died. They're like, no, you know what I mean? He held my hand for too long. Or, you know, he said an inappropriate text or whatever. And like that is the scandalous thing because Cause it gets feminist all up in arts. Cause nobody cares about the death of old people.

Nobody cares about old people and fucking ugly people. When are ugly people going to get a goddamn activist to act on their behalf? Fat people got Lizzo. Black people got white people like Sean King. I mean, when is fucking ugly people just gonna get their own goddamn blossom?

What's her name? Why is she not an activist for people who are facially challenged? So tops Cali, bottoms Florida. So no boxes Florida. Comment roulette.

Would you let Brittany's dad produce your podcast No Strings Deal? That toxic money must taste sweet. Fuck, I hate looking down and playing this game. You fucker. But I'm committed to it. Comment roulette. Here's another one.

We do need a voice. Thank you, Hefboy. Yeah, who? Blossom, okay? She could be out there advocating. She could be out there advocating. She could be out there advocating for the guy that was in that Wine Country movie. What's his name?

Giamatti. Yeah, Paul Giamatti. Paul Giamatti, why are you not holding up a sign saying ugly people lives matter? Nobody wants to fuck ugly people. You know? They get discriminated against. Are there any ugly bartenders?

There's no advocacy groups or activists to say we should not be discriminating against people who should be having a bag over their head. We don't have that. Why is there no activists for ugly bartenders? Okay? Ugly people should be able to get tips behind a wood wall too. Well, let me tell you something right now, brother. You come on down to FL, that's good

old Florida, brother. We are wide open. We are wide open like Mr. Deepfake's AOC's woman's legs, like Mr. Deepfake's AOC's woman's legs, brother. We're wide open like a woman giving birth thanks to our God and Savior, Ron DeSantis. As I like to call him, Trump Jr. taking over, brother. Step aside, real son. I'm talking to you, Fredo. We got a Cuban son, Trump Jr. running Florida. We're wide open, brother. Trump Jr. running Florida.

We're wide open, brother. And if you come down to the Pink Lagoon, Crock Pit, Flamingo, we have ugly bartender night where you can feed Kathleen chicken wings all night. You can try to throw them in her mouth, jalapeno poppers, like she's a seal and she'll catch them, brother. It's a fun little kind of events night where we get a couple of human whales behind the wood wall who are a little facially challenged, brother, but you can throw food in their gullet, and we call them reverse gullet shooters, brother. You pop a jalapeno popper in your mouth,

and then Kathleen will open her mouth like so, like a whale at SeaWorld, and you can throw a jalapeno popper in her mouth, brother. It's called Ugly Bartender Night at the Pink Lagoon Crock Pit for Mango, brother. I'm not nervous at all. I just wanted to tirade against ugly people. And guess what? There will be no letters written to me. There will be nobody trying to cancel me because if there's one thing that brings us all together is get these ugly people out of here. I don't want them in my bar. I don't want them waitressing my table.

I don't want them being my secretary. And I certainly don't want them being my congresswoman. Because let's be honest, Ilhan Omar, let's be honest, AOC, you guys are fucking pieces. You are four Rome pieces that would be in Emperor Yonicus' harem. Protected my eunuch from New Jersey, Drew,

who would say, I protected him good, boss. Yeah, boss. Gotcha, boss. Yeah, but your voice isn't high enough. Yeah, boss. Gotcha, boss. There you go, boss.

Talking about cancel culture, did you see they're trying to cancel Bill Burr because he pronounced an artist's name wrong? We will end on this because that is a great suggestion. So Bill Burr, this is a great thing to end on. Can you Google Bill Burr's wife's tweet? So they tried to cancel Bill Burr because he said feminists were going to be angry that there was some white cis male who was um introducing the latin artist um category and then he fucked up

the name of one of the latin american artists and of course that got twitter in a bunch and then this is the greatest thing ever it's her tweet just say tweet like all you gotta do is where it says bitch shut the fuck up right there right where's my glasses where are my glasses does anyone see my glasses where are my fucking glasses

so I can read I can't see it you want me to read it or you got it I wanna read it I wanna fucking read it but I can read it okay

so uh Glayborn Griffin wrote while I'm not suggesting okay I'll read it it's Luke St. Simon okay, okay, I'll read it as Luke St. Simon, okay? So, this is, the tweet was just from Luke St. Simon. He said, do you understand? You're a nerd ass.

First of all, he said, while I'm not suggesting Bill Barr is a racist, a white man having a non-white wife can sometimes be a sign of racism. Right. can sometimes be a sign of racism. Because we're living in what can only be described as the upside down. This is what cancel culture is. It's this dude, because his whole economy is based on coming up with a take that can put people on notice.

He had to think of a take. He doesn't know any of these people personally, he's just trying to have a take, because he wants to get viewed, because that's how he gets paid, by being woke, it's a whole economy, it's a good thing, we need it, because everything is being made in China, the only thing left is internet fame, fame has exploded into a million pieces, and everyone's got a little piece, and they mistake their piece for the whole but we're all just fans following bands right now while these guys are in a circle jerk with each other it's basically a woke open mic where they perform and support each other and they take people down and then they write a

book or they get a big twitter following and then they start selling ads on their podcast it's absolutely hilarious it's insere. They don't mean a word of it. They're not even bad people. They're just shameless and insincere. This guy doesn't fucking care. He just figured I have a check next to my name for some reason because of some dumb fucking blog I wrote. I have to have a take. So he was like, what's a take that could stand out? And he went for it. Give this guy fucking credit. He tried to call someone who has proof in their personal life that they're not racist because they married a black woman. He's like, ah, let me find a way to describe why that is racist.

That's like me going, here's my black daughter that i made with my black wife that i love and they go wow that is the opposite of racism and then he goes give me one second hold my fucking beer let me figure out a way to explain to you how that is actually racist that's like calling to the number four what are you gonna say drew god damn it you were distracting me because you want to cut me off at least talking to the mic yeah so mr luke saint simon said while i'm not suggesting bill burr is a racist a white man having a non-white wife can sometimes be a sign of racism okay do you understand? So you shouldn't assume someone isn't racist just because they own a minority sex servant. They may very well have one because they're racist. Now, retweet and like if you are a like-minded woke soldier who doesn't have any skills and is equally as insincere and desperate for attention by having a take.

Because I'm selling takes. And if you criticize me, you're racist. And I stand and hide behind that banner. And what happened to this fucking loser was Bill Burr's wife actually found it. So his luck ran a little dry because she retweeted it. Nia retweeted and said bitch shut the fuck up because he essentially called her a minority sex servant that's the part i was pointing at yeah you were right and um so that is a funny that was kind of this tweet was kind of an actual microcosm like

you can encapsulate the zeitgeist of of our culture right now of the west really in this tweet you have these pseudo intellectuals who are seeking attention and fame by bringing other people who they can attach themselves to in bringing them down because we've built everything up already so their only thing left to do is tear everything down because all these people, the only thing we make is fame. So if you can't get famous from talent, you go, maybe I can get famous by pulling someone down who is talented. So it's an essential part of our economy that we cannot stress enough the importance of. Hats off to griffin you tried normally you might even get sean king to retweet this you might get a lot of people to retweet this a lot of people probably would treat this a lot of comedians who call themselves comedians that are but are just really

activists and get clapped there they would have retweeted it some of them maybe did and then backed out of it like that meme where the baby walks in and goes oh fuck his wife just retreated get out of here i bet you there was a lot of unretweets of this tweet before bill burke's wife said appropriately bitch shut the fuck up so good try though i mean you got to give the kid a for effort but it was a real moment where it encapsulates what we've become, which is sort of, you know, we've all become this puritanical, you know, we're based, this country's puritanical. We used to burn, we're used to burning people, whether in effigy or for real. You know what I mean? We used to burn witches. And what made you a witch back then was hilarious. It was just like when a woman said,

I have an opinion. They were like, burn that witch. She's like, wait a second. They're like, she's bleeding. You're like, yeah, that's just what happens when she ovulates. Nah, she's a witch, burn her. All you had to do was burn a witch who like,

if she said a word, a woman got burned. And that's what we like to do. We like to burn people in effigy or otherwise for real so now we're just this puritanical country that instead of burning witches because they said something blasphemous about jesus or disobeyed the bible now we're burning people for uh being uh virtuously impure, for making mistakes. We don't focus on all the good things they did. We focus on the one bad thing they said. Bill Burr could be working secretly for 100 charities,

donating all his money to the most underprivileged people in the world. That guy doesn't know it. Did he research it? Did he look into it? Does he want to know anything about Bill Burr and his personal life or about his wife? No. He just went, let me have a take. So what he did was he tied it to a bigger bullshit cause, which this is what we've replaced

education with. And why? Because wokeness is a lot easier than science and math so he tied it to a cause and said let me see if this works he's basically fishing he put his fucking fishing rod out and his bilber's wife caught him you thought you were looking for a little guppy and what you got is a fucking shark who bitching you cocks. So that's basically what it is. It is these two things. This, the world of ideas and bullshit meeting reality. And that's what happened in that tweet, which is hilarious. Because that just kind of awakens you to the fact

of how much bullshit those takes are. Nobody's really outraged. Nobody's really a great person. We're all pieces of shit, okay? We are self-interested garbage. This is all part of a self-interested economy that fuels itself like a ball rolling down a hill. Fame, anti-fame. Fame, anti-fame. Fame, anti-fame. Fame, anti-fame. Build it, burn it down. Build it, burn it down. So I look down

and I have to read it. Bill Burr's a snoozer. So I read down, that's comment roulette. So it is what it is. Thank you guys for tuning in. Patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. Go check my dates.

Yannispappascomedy.com Drew underscore films on the gram. Jesse Scaturo all one word on the gram. Go see me live.

Most importantly guys tell your friends about this podcast. That's how fucking my big fat Greek wedding became big. Word of mouth. Okay.

I'm the big fat Greek podcast. Tell people. Patreon names names now we gotta read the patreon names brother so drew hit us okay first off arturo i can't get hard unless you suck my dick babe like loisa yeah uh that's joshua brown welcome james i got covid toes but i'm still Loiza. Yeah. Joshio Brown. Welcome. James, I got COVID toes, but I'm still a cute kid with a good piece of ruddock. Welcome, James. Ian Rogers.

Ian Rogers. What's up, kid? Fred White. Fred White. Andrew Pupo. Que pasa, Andrew Pupo? Eric Wheelers. Nice, white kid.

Marcus. Marcus. Marcus! One of the most underrated comedies of all time, Boomerang. Kellen Patiencia. Que pasa, mijo? Ethan Karnes. Ethan Karnes!

Big Arxdia Greek Arizona Man man i mean jordan rasmussen drew's reading these like he just learned to read nf the ff that's a good one hector lebron jr lebron jr welcome cuz lawrence x morgan what's up lauren yes it'll be on YouTube later what kind of question is that Shane skinny fat with a Mets hat Thompson that's a good one Gumala Harris America's side character piece wait I'm sorry I cut that one off give it a fair read Gumala Harris America's side parentheses character piece. Got it. $3 Cuck Buck. $3 Cuck Buck is a good one. H.M. Rothschild-Medici. Welcome, Italian kid.

Jared Aguar. Que pasa, mi gente? Danny Cruzell. Que pasa, mi gente? Danny Cruzell. Que pasa, mi gente? Steve Mustache Show. Steve Mustache Show. Welcome back, because he's an old fan. He's the best.

He makes videos for me and shit. Great. I said mustache. I'm sorry. It's all right. Mrs. Pappas. Yeah, that's funny. Could be my real wife boosting the numbers. There's a picture. It might be here. Is it her? I think sorry. It's all right. Mrs. Pappas. Yeah, that's funny. Could be my real wife boosting the numbers.

There's a picture. It might be here. Is it her? I think so. Yeah. Yanni Ride or Die. Yanni Ride or Die. I like that.

Sarah Jane. Sarah Jane. What's up? User 007. Mikey the Eastern Hemi Cracker. Alex Aguilar. Alex Aguilar. Alex Aguilar. Might be two of those.

Logan Leistman. I think Alex Aguilar might have just asked me to do some Republican show. I'm not doing it. I got an email saying, will you perform for, I'm not a Republican, I'm not a Democrat, I'm a comedian. Go. This one's good. Osama Bin Laden. Wow.

That's a good one. Wow. That's a good one wow that's a good osama bin long days that's a good he sounds like we got a winner yeah cal donia james benson georgie g georgie g carmelo anthony soprano Carmelo Anthony Soprano. Carmelo Anthony Soprano is a fucking nominee, but I think it's going to be Osama bin Laden. That's a great one. At Yanni's on the weekends. What are you, my children? Josh, parentheses, cleans out Howard.

Okay, welcome, Josh. Yonkapin. Okay. Sean P. McDevitt. Patrick Norio. Jeremy Garner. Danny Dominguez. Que pase, mi gente?

Kyle Antonellis. Que pase, mi gente? Kyle Knickerbocker liberal cuck from sf but make no mistake trump 2020 well i think he's a little late right i mean trump 2020 is hilarious when you say that exactly so that i mean that's funny actually yeah be funny if someone just in in like 10 years from now on this podcast is big and shit and someone just their name is trump 2020 what if it becomes like a vintage shirt that like hipsters wear yeah right yeah ironically hipsters are over my muffler always has fumes and i like it very funny william andrews make no mistake you better get rogue in that water now.

Christine. Welcome, Christine. Yanni Clong Days. Yanni Clong Days. That's a good one. Clong Days, yeah. Yeah. Last one. Yanni P. loves a little fentanyl and coffee in the morning.

Very funny. All right. And that's the list, folks. That's the list. So join patreon.com slash yannilongdays. You get bonus episodes come out every single Wednesday. Also, there's other tiers you can join. Also, we got some business sponsors now.

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