Yannis Pappas Hour - Deshaun Watson buys Epstein Island

Episode Date: March 26, 2022

Yanni records coming straight from his mother’s funeral. The boys discuss the dead body biz and how many jobs it creates. It’s a great money maker which requires a unique set of sales skills. Also, Hilly Clinton finally got COVID (the Hillary) should Covid be the one that’s scared? Lia Thomas has brought the thorny culture war issue of trans women in women’s sports to the forefront. Yanni doles out a long day about it and then voices his staunch support for any trans men in high level collegiate or pro men’s sports—A feat we are unlikely to see? And finally, Epstein’s island is for sale, should Deshaun Watson buy it? Would you buy a house at a great price if a murder happened there? Ultimately this proves that people are not inherently rational, we are emotional by nature, aren’t we. Wasdadealis, ya’ll! Sponsors Babbel https://www.babbel.comPromo code: LongdaysLuminhttps://www.luminskin.com/fumesLive Dates coming up San Antonio, Phoenix, Dallas, Madison wisc, Cleveland, Newport RI - Yanni stand up tour dates & tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.comJoin for weekly Bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysSubscribe to our clips page for podcast highlights https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwThe show goes out every Saturday but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram on Wednesdays.Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispapPrevail independent movie link: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=II1rcRWAZ8Y Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up everybody, it's Yanni. Before we get started, here's my live dates coming up. Right now I am in San Antonio, Texas till the 26th of March. Then I head over to Madison, Wisconsin from March 31st to April 2nd. Then Phoenix, Arizona April 14th through the 16th. Then Addison, Texas, basically Dallas April 22nd to the 24th. Cleveland, Ohio, May 5th through 7th in Roebling, New Jersey, May 14th at a theater, May 28th in Newport, Rhode Island. All tickets at yannispappascomedy.com. Come out and see me on tour.

Having fun. Come for a good time and a long time. Our bonus episode this week, patreon.com slash yannilongdays is a fun one. So go access it. It's about fast food fight videos on the internet. One just happened in Florida. Very funny story.

And then we delve into some other ones and crack the hell up. So thanks for your support and enjoy this episode. It was a blast. What's up, everybody? Welcome to one of your entertainment options. There's about 13 million other options, so we appreciate you stopping by on your scroll or if this is your destination, welcome. We hope you had a safe flight getting here, and we hope you fly with us again on long

days airlines um i just came from a funeral my mom died um so i got a lot to talk about with funerals because there's a lot of fun that happens with funerals guys it is a business baby down to get in the casket to slip in the priest a little cash for his performance he probably does early shows late shows middle shows the kids a performer as well but also you need priests I mean what are you gonna do with a dead body you can't just bring it over your house and throw it in the kitchen you have there's a process I mean these guys are good for births and deaths or whatever it is so we'll talk about that but it's not as important as katanji brown jackson she's auditioning to be a supreme court on america's got talent we'll talk about it she's really the judges that

really get into it with her also lizzo lizzo lizzo's a big girl she's going on a big girl tour she's uh putting her she's searching for all big girls to go on tour with her and um the auditions are in the back of the cheesecake factory menu madeline albright's dead nobody gives a shit digital currencies will be regulated we knew that was coming uh idaho guess what they're making it really hard to get an abortion. Yeah, well, you know what? I'd make it illegal to get an abortion if I lived in a state that needed more people just to be able to have representation in Congress.

And California is making it cheaper to get an abortion. They don't need more people. So I support both epstein's island is up for sale for 125 million dollars we will discuss who we think should buy it the only person who could probably afford it is either jeff bezos's uh ex-wife or tim dylan with his Patreon. Also, Hillary's finally got the Hillary. She got it. What's the dollars? Sus, sus, sus. wrong and there's something up now here comes a great kid you know you can trust from the truth so hillary hillary finally got the hillary hillary finally got COVID.

It was inevitable. Two forces of nature that are so tenacious were bound to do warfare together. It's a heavyweight matchup right now. It's Ali versus Frazier. It's Ali versus Frazier. If I was COVID, I wouldn't be so confident I'm going to win that belt. Hillary might give COVID the Hillary. You know what I'm saying? COVID might catch Hillary.

Yeah. And then Hillary wins. Yeah. I mean, Hillary gets COVID and then COVID gets its emails leaked. Yes. and then COVID gets its emails leaked. Yes. The only thing as potent and as toxic as COVID

is Hillary Clinton. She eats that for breakfast. She's going to eat it for breakfast, dog. Are you kidding me? Yeah. She's the type of woman, she never saw a rule she didn't like to play loose with

for the greater good. So she's got it. So, you know, thoughts and prayers out to her. Thoughts and prayers. Thoughts and prayers. We know she's going to be okay. She made sure that she has access to the best medical treatments available.

You know, Hillary Clinton tried to get healthcare done. She failed. She ran for healthcare done. She failed. She ran for president twice. She failed. She ran for senator of New York. She succeeded. She succeeded. Yeah.

She got married to Bill, and they took an oath to never cheat on each other. Bill failed. Yeah. Bill ran for president twice. He succeeded. It's a family that's gone through a bunch of successes and failures. But like Michael Jordan said,

he made so many shots because he missed so many. So, you know, you just got to take the bat with the good. So Hillary and Bill, you guys were already quarantining from each other. So I don't think that's a big deal. They've been quarantined for 20 years. Yeah, I think they've been quarantining since Monica Lewinsky, I'd say 30 years ago. Yeah, the day she got that pantsuit tailored, it was over.

Yeah. The day that they decided that they were going to have an arranged marriage as a power couple and yucky, they were going to somehow take,ucky they were going to somehow take they were going to somehow take some redhead sperm to make Chelsea Clinton. Who's the daddy of that? Yeah we don't know. I don't see any redhead on Bill. There's no redhead in Bill

I mean Bill looks like Spongebob with the suds and just you know Hillary just doesn't give off the vibe that she likes guys. No she does not so it could just be like and you know Bill's always Hillary just doesn't give off the vibe that she likes guys. No, she does not. So it could just be like, and Bill's always staring at other chicks and putting his hands on them, according to a lot of other women. Yeah, Hillary gives off the vibe that she'll take down Kate McKinnon in a bathroom stall. Yeah, I mean, it just feels kind of like an Oprah kind of Stedman thing where you're going like. That don't match up.

You're going like, is this a brand relationship? Is it a brand relationship? Is this a relationship that was arranged by Andrew Schultz? Can you imagine Hillary and Bill cuddling? No. Could you even picture a cuddle from Bill and Hillary? No. Like a spoon.

Can you picture Bill spoon and Hillary? No. Like a spoon. Can you picture Bill spooning Hillary? No. Can you picture Oprah spooning Stedman? Oh, hell no. Can you picture Oprah and Stedman? Stedman's kind of like around for a second. He just kind of pops in.

He's like, yeah, I'm Oprah's man. And then Gail's just always around. Gail's just around a lot. Gail's just around. I could see them cuddling. I could see Gail and Oprah cuddling a little bit. Make a nice book. Does Stedman and Oprah have any kids?

I don't think so. No. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting. The writing's on the wall you know it's it's just interesting it's just some some power you know we're talking about two very powerful entities right there yep um and they came to power i guess at a time where you couldn't just be

you couldn't oprah just couldn't come out and be ellen right no ellen couldn't even come out and be ellen ell Ellen when she first came out like her show then the show went down right because family was like oh my god the devil's in the television or whatever and then she made her comeback and she became huge she became huge um because we found out she was lesbian but we also we didn't know she she was a cunt she didn't come out as a cunt till later yeah double down on the vagina ellen had two ellen see ellen was ellen came out of the closet as gay and then she was forced out of the closet as a cunt yeah people work for it yeah your sexual preference

can only can't always be a characteristic that you have too you know it don't line up well with that yeah hillary hillary hasn't been hasn't come out of the closet if she's do you think has been a lesbian you think the rumors are true she's a lesbian do you think she's true yeah does she give up any sexual energy to you no no yeah I mean she wants she ran for the governor of New York State I mean I can't picture a a straight female representing this this state you know right this this state is is lesbian energy like you know when I think of New York State. I mean, I can't picture a straight female representing this state. Right. This state is lesbian energy.

Like, you know, when I think of New York, I want young MA to be my governor. Young mom. Yeah, yeah. That's who I want to be the governor of this state. Yeah. Yeah, she's got big-time WNBA players. There's a lot of lesbians in WNBA. Oh, yeah.

She's averaging a double-double every game. There's a lot of lesbians in the WNBA. Oh, yeah. She's averaging a double-double every game. Now, a lot of people are going to say we're saying that because, you know, she's the boss. And, like, what? A woman can't, like, be, like, in the man's world. No, that's not. I don't think that's why I'm saying it.

I don't think I'm saying it. There's just something going on there. Yeah, there's a vibe. There's a vibe there. It's just something going on there. Yeah, there's a vibe. There's a vibe there. It's just a vibe, dude. It's a vibe. You know, guys who like girls give off a vibe, and girls who like girls give off a vibe.

But much like Ellen, I think Hillary hasn't come out either as a potential lesbian or a cunt. She's a closet. Yeah. She's a tough, you know, her reputation, she's tough. She's a tough woman. But she's got the Hillary we wish her well. We wish her well.

Here over at Long Days, we are her favorite show. She sits up there in Chappaqua in her home state of New York. She was looking for movie recommendations. Oh, yeah. She wants movie recommendations. What should Hillary watch? Because she's got to quarantine. Enemy of the State with Will Smith.

Yeah. You can watch Enemy of the State. Another good one you could watch is I Think I Love My Wife with Chris Rock. I Think I Love My Wife with Chris Rock. You could watch. What's the but Chris Rock. You could watch. What's the movie? Oh, you could watch. Oh, I can't think of the movie.

What's his name where the guy discovers he's gay? He was in A Fish Called Wanda. Kevin Kline. You remember that movie? It was a good movie. He's like just slowly discovering he's gay. He's like a straight dude, and then he's just like in the show tunes. I don't know.

Look, we're having a lot of fun. Who knows? Hillary Clinton could be straight, could be gay. What I'm saying is she wanted to be president. Yeah. She wanted to be president. Bill was president. It's clear she was the first lady, but then she had aspirations of her own.

She ended up becoming a senator. but then she had aspirations of her own. She ended up becoming a senator. You know, she leveraged first lady status into senator status, and she was going to leverage senator status into president of the United States status. So the suspicion is that this was kind of a power arrangement between the Rodham family the Clintons that's what I'm saying yeah she started from small beginnings and made it big yeah and she doesn't come from

a time where she could you know I don't know if America's ready for a lesbian president yet but in her era I don't think you could get elected unless you had like a regular marriage yeah yeah you have to pass it by.

I mean, no. Okay. Jesse's looking at porn. Here we go. All right. I was looking at movies for her to watch. Lesbian booty calls. Yeah.

Back in that time, though, you definitely can't be a lesbian president, you know? No. No one wants a female president that probably can disassemble an M16 with their eyes closed. No, you don't want that. No, you don't. No. So, anyway, I mean, we're all over the place with that. But I mean, Hillary has got COVID.

A lot of people are going, why are you saying Hillary's got the Hillary? Because I call COVID the Hillary. I've been calling it the Hillary as a joke for a while because it keeps coming back. It's tenacious. And Hillary's definitely that. She's a fighter.

So anyway, yeah. She's a fighter. So anyway. Yeah. So wish her well. I had a funeral today. You know, my mom finally passed away. She had a long battle with dementia. Yeah. So she finally shut the lights out.

And I've gone through this a few times. The older you get, just the more funerals you go to. And it just becomes kind of a normal thing where you're kind of like. And when it's a family member or something like that. That's the thing. It's like my mom's death is not tragic. When you go at 90 after you've had dementia for a while, it's kind of like the best case scenario that could happen, right? So anyway, picking the casket, the whole thing is just a very funny thing.

You walk in, the funeral directors, they have kind of like a vibe to them. They're like, you know, like who gets into the funeral director? You know, they're like somebody, I was looking at one because we were looking at a few because we were trying to find some, first of all, you got to have have like just set some money aside for when whoever's in your family dies. Yeah. It's going to cost you a couple of grand. It's going to cost you a couple of NFTs. Yeah.

It's going to cost you a couple of NFTs that are worth something. You know, it's you got to set aside a couple of grand. Yeah. There's money you need to set aside that you may not be thinking about. And that's one of them. You got to have a big chunk of money aside. Yeah. It costs money.

Yeah. How much was the casket? The caskets are ridiculous. Caskets are funny because that's the thing about the caskets. The caskets are like there's all different types of caskets. Yeah. You know, like you you can get, like, real wood. You can get, like, the machine. What's that?

Where they put the woods together, the synthetic kind of thing. They meld all the woods into one. Press wood? Like, the press wood? Yeah, stuff like that. Is it the cheapest, a pine box? Pine? Yeah, you got pine.

You got oak. You got all these different types of woods you can get that are nice. It's going in the ground. So, it's really for the wake. Pine, yeah, you got pine, you got oak, you got all these different types of woods you can get that are nice. It's going in the ground, so it's really for the wake. Right. Like in the Greek Orthodox Church, you got to look at the body, which I never understood. We put a nice little picture slide above. Of course.

And everyone's looking at that. Nobody's looking at the body. It doesn't even look like the person. Yeah. It's like, but then if they close the casketket that takes away a lot of people's jobs yeah you close the casket because there's somebody there is a makeup and hair department for a corpse she goes in there and like you know even the funeral director goes he goes like i didn't mention it when i walked in because we're in there you walk in there with your fucking checkbook you're grieving but you're walking with a fucking checkbook make no mistake

you're walking in and you're you know he's like yeah and the guy's like i'm sorry for you i'm sorry he's like he's really soft-spoken he's like um so the remainder of the balance um your brother your brother paid half he said i'm sorry for your loss but the remainder of your balance um you can put it on a card and then I was like oh can I write a check he's like I usually take but I know your family I mean this is like the sixth

this is like the sixth family member we've had buried there so like our family we should have got like a group discount or something yeah you should have got

like a Costco membership yeah at this point you know he should have trimmed a little off the top yeah but when I was filling out

the check like I didn't mention it. And you could tell at one point he goes, does she look good? How does she look? Because I didn't mention it. And I was like, oh, yeah, no, she looks great. You guys, you know, because he wanted the acknowledgement. I hate that about funerals.

The person that you love never looks like themselves. It's a character of themselves. It looks like Jesse painted them. Yeah. It looks like a dead painting. It's surreal when they don't move. You don't see the chest moving. There's no breath. It's kind of weird.

Yeah. It's like a wax museum essentially. And it doesn't... That shit weakens me up. There's certain... Something about the way whatever your spirit is that animates you or your personality that makes you look the way you look And then when you're dead it's just It does not look like the person It's just like it doesn't

There's something about it where My mother didn't even look like my mother And I saw her like two days before When she was alive And it's just like a total difference Because then all the blood, whatever they do They put chemicals in you and all that but it is a thing

where they either do a good or bad job and I had to say they did a pretty good job, they made her look good they made her hands look good they gave her a nice little suit they sent us options they sent us outfit options we had a blue or white pick

and my brother was like, we both chose the blue. He was like, I agree. And so it's a whole art form to getting that corpse ready. It's a whole process. You didn't know your mother was going to her funeral. You thought she was going to the Oscars. Yeah, she looked good, man. She looked good.

She's going to the ground looking good. Now, do the Greeks do wakes or they just? Yeah, they do the wake. They do the wake. That's the thing. Two days? Two days a week? You do one wake and then the next day she goes.

So we did the wake yesterday. Right. And then today we did the church funeral, and then you drive the body. You know, the whole thing is very, there's a lot of humor in it. When you go to pick the casket and they show you the casket, they take you down to the room. It's like, first of all, it's like, they're always like, sorry for your loss.

First of all, you want to do it before they die, right? So it's always like that's the ideal scenario. Yeah. You want to know it's like they're always like sorry for your loss first of all you want to do it before they die right so it's always like that's the ideal scenario yeah you want to know it's coming so they know you know it's coming

so you walk in and they're always just like there's this funny thing between like business and sympathy where they're like your mom we understand

they're trying to find the right way to say it we understand your mom is it's like Netflix and chilling with a girl yeah trying to slip into yeah we're trying to uh you know we're not just watching the movie are you cold yeah you're cold yeah we understand they always try to find a rate we understand moms

and they always call it moms yeah they never say your moms we understand moms you know um you know hasn't been well. Right, right, right. And they kind of let you lead. They kind of don't want to, they let you lead. So if they see that you're okay, they just. They do a lot of, in their, whoever their mentor is as they pass it down, like when they, whoever teaches them

and mentors them in sales, it's a lot of face expression training. They do a lot of. They do a lot of, they do a lot of face expression training. Yep. They do a lot of... They do a lot of... They do a lot of... Yeah. And it's very soft, and mom's okay. Concealing the emotion. Yeah.

Because inside they're going, yes. Yeah. Because it's like they have to pretend like they're very caring, but they're running a business. Oh, yeah. It's a good business, too. And then they go, would you like to take... We have a showroom.

They have a casket showroom, some of them. So you go and you take a peek or you can take a sample. I just pictured a casket on a rotating thing. And the materials are different. There's a little more silk. Some of them are more ornate. And part of you

is going like, dude, it's going in the ground so give me the cheapest fucking one yeah right of course so and the prices can range from like 10 grand to like you're not getting out of there for anything under a couple of grand yeah you can't you're gonna have to pay a couple they're gonna upsell yeah you know i don't need a balenciaga casket no yeah but some people do get it like my brother's like i want dark want dark wood. Oh, yeah. Yeah. My brother wants. Yeah. And the gay one, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That taste. But you know, it's funny after you go to a few of them, too. And I know that I'm Greek Orthodox. So I guess that's how my wife will do me because she's like all into that shit. I mean, you could throw me out.

Give me. I don't give a fuck. Fuck my body. Do whatever you want to it. You know, burn it up. Yeah. Throw it at some Russian soldiers. I don't care what you do to

it i'm dead yeah but if that's gonna be my thing you start to start thinking about it and going like you know what i don't want to be yeah don't put me in some bullshit you know yeah yeah i want my corp because you start looking at it as like a party yeah you know the party's gonna happen because then people talk and they have a good time yeah you're looking at casket how you look at shoes now. Yeah, yeah. I'm starting to look at it because you know what happens

is that the wake is like after the priest comes and does his thing, everyone kind of chills and then last night we kind of, they had to kick us out. I made a joke

that we closed the place down. I was like, can we at least get one more round because we were just, we started like hanging out with the corpse just sitting there and everyone's just, the corpse is just there

and everyone's just talking, having a there and everyone's just talking having a good time I've been there in a wake and people just start laughing and joking and the corpse is just leaning on the casket putting his beard down on it that's what it's about though it's a celebration of life at the end of the day

that's the best part you get people together that loved you and appreciated your presence. So that's what it's about. Yeah. And the more you get used to it, the more it just kind of takes away. You just kind of get used to it. Where it just looks like another thing.

Like death is just part of life. And we're all going to go there and like, yo, if you're going to have a party with me, might as well be nice. Yeah. I want it to be nice. You start going like, I want people to have a good time. You're going to have a good time Yeah, cuz I know there's gonna be people in the in in the room looking at it going like

For that one day it's a display because they put you on display flowers, you know The old photos is a must yeah, in fact we were looking at another place that was a lot cheaper because we were looking to save a little dough. But my brother, I mean, he was right. It was like the screen on top of the casket where you do the photo reel, that's essential. And a lot of places don't do that. Excuse me. You guys are not adapting.

You're behind. Shout out Greenwich Village Funeral Home. They got the photos on top. Were they on a slideshow? Slideshow's the way to go,wich village funeral home they got the photos on the slide show slide shows the way to go dog everyone's looking at the photos because how long you stare at the body you just kind of look at the body yeah you want the memories to kick in you know yeah and i when people walk up to the body too i didn't i don't kiss the body i know people were looking at me going because i didn't kiss my dad either. You know, and me and my dad were close. It's not my dad.

It's just a dead body. Like, he's not there anymore. Yeah, I couldn't touch my brother. I just tapped his shoulder real quick. Like, all right, play it. And I got out there real quick because that shit was weird. He's gone. Yeah, he's gone.

It's just flesh at that point. Yeah, and they also fucked up his goatee. They did, huh? Yeah, that shit was nuts. Did they pencil him on or what? Nah, he looked like a Civil War soldier because the way that he had, like, mutton chops. I was like, what the Yeah, that shit was not. Did they pencil him on? No, he looked like a Civil War soldier. He had like mutton chops. I was like, what the fuck is this shit?

This shit was like going out. I was like, all right, I don't know who you got. The twirlies? Yeah, it was out. It was all fucked up. I was like, he would not have that shit lined up. Should have got a Dominican in here. Would have had that shit looking fly. He had Ulysses S. Grant in the goddamn casket right now.

Yeah, dude, they have a whole like that that's somebody's job they take the body and they really present it to present the body i used to be against open caskets because it's like who wants to see it's just a corpse i'd rather see the jews clothes the jews have a closed they close which i prefer but now i'm for it because it's a funny kind of art form to get a body ready and also it's like you know when you look in a world where you're trying to create new jobs you know we can't take that job away yep so i support it because that's a whole dude who gets paid to go down there to basement he's probably puts on some music like when you paint what he's probably he could what if

he's listening to a podcast he's listening to a podcast and he's humming just like putting the makeup on they arrange the hands the hands are always yeah yeah they got you know can you imagine how funny that is to just like they're arranging the fingers? They're just putting the fingers like my mom's hands was like that. And you know, he kind of look, he probably looks at it like an artist when you're looking at a sculpture and he's going like, what if I try the right hand over the left? It takes a few steps back. Yeah. A few steps back.

I never liked the hands like that though. Cause no one ever has their hands like this in real life. The only people that do this shit are like prairie moms looking at their kids playing the prairie yeah from the stoop no one does this shit yeah like put my hands in a gang sign or something like that you know i bet they buried some gangsters like like that like you know yeah definitely this guy just put his hands like tape his hands together and shit use gorilla glue oh man so i mean you know that's an art form getting that You give it shit, use Gorilla Glue. Oh, man. So, I mean, you know, that's an art form. Getting that body rate, putting in a nice thing.

The flowers, the whole thing. Then you pick the prayer cards. Prayer cards are nice. You get to pick, you know, which icon it's going to be or whatever. And then the prayer, you pick the prayer. And there's a whole bunch of, like, add-on options. It's planning a party a little bit. You're planning a little you picked a prayer. And there's a whole bunch of add-on options. It's planning a party a little bit. You're planning a little bit of a party.

What are you looking at? Get out of my space? Yeah, Dan Goodman used to post gangster funeral photos. And they were hilarious. Just like you said, they had pimped out caskets. They had gang symbols. I can't find any of them right now, but they were really funny. Yeah, I remember seeing one, too, where they had one guy propped up,

and he was kind of like a lie. It looked a lot like they took pictures with him. They had airbrushed caskets. Yeah. It's interesting how we all celebrate. I mean, you know, mourn. And then, you know, they go into the ground. Then you go into the ground.

It is the one. It is the great thing we all have in common that nobody wants to. I think if there was more of an openness about that's where you end up, I think if we didn't try to hide it so much for so long from kids, there would be a lot more humility in the world.

I think there'd be a lot more, a lot less hate yeah because you know you end up everyone becomes a skeleton everyone everyone's skeleton looks the same and everyone goes into the dirt you know or the sea or the sea or whatever you could go into the oven you could basil's probably gonna go with space but yeah i mean that kid's gonna try to keep freezing his head but you can't that it's just it that's where you're destined to go there's just there's you're running you're running but you you're adding you're going back into the dirt no matter what so it's like the destination is not important in life it's the journey is kind of the truth yeah like whatever you're trying to achieve

that's great if you're enjoying the journey right because the journey is the important thing because at the end you know you're gonna come right back it's going outside and playing with your friends you know you go outside you know have a little fun once that streetlight comes on it's game over son game over you go right back to where you came from guys learning a language, we all tried to do it in high school. Most of us were, I mean, I'm barely proficient in Spanish, to be honest with you. But now I am learning Spanish with Babbel at babbel.com. B-A-B-B-E-L.com. This is the best language learning app on the internet.

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Speaking of corpses, when Leah Thomas yeah dies okay her body decomposes after I don't know how many years it is I'm not a paleontologist or whatever it's called

I picked an ologist and I went with it close enough yeah I don't know how long it takes for the body to decompose and become

which by the way is kind of wild that the body eats itself right what was it maggots like kind of yeah some wild body eats itself right what was it maggots like kind of yeah some wild shit yeah but then like it eats itself it's what i don't understand it it's some

wild shit yeah maggots kind of are born out of the something it's fun being stupid you know but everything is a look up or google the way. Oh, yeah. Your generation knows that, which is I love that. But at that point when she's all bones, Leah Thomas, sometime deep in the future. Okay. When gender does not exist. Right. Because we've cured it or whatever. You dig her up.

Her bones. Whoever finds her bones. Yeah. You dig her up. Her bones, whoever finds her bones, will say, this was a male. Do you know what I'm saying? I thought you were going somewhere with that. Even though I was going to a joke and I just went with the truth. And you know what the funny thing is that's the thing that's going to get us in trouble

her bones her bones they'll look at her bones and they'll be able to tell like they can now when they find bones because of certain you know markers that this unequivocally was a male

yeah bones are going to be big in a dystopian time someone's going to find her body they're going to take both her femurs and make a bow and arrow out of it yeah i mean so that's this is what we're this is what we're talking this is that's let's start the conversation there now leah thomas you know this big controversy now Florida all these states they're all talking about it so Caitlyn Jenner speaking out about it

uh she's like the biggest hero of the trans community but but then they hate her too yeah she's cause she's like

you know she's against this and um I I don't know how many people are for this I just don't know how many people are for this I just don't know how many I've never met one yeah every liberal person I talked to every conservative

person I talked to even the liberal ones like I was talking to one recently and he was like yeah I guess they just haven't found out like I they haven't figured out like a standard test and then I bring up my point and it stumps everyone I talk to. Nobody can say anything to my argument. My argument being, okay, right now, right now. Now, obviously, we know Leah Thomas was a male swimmer a little while ago. He was a male swimmer.

He was 400-something in the world. Now he's the champ. She's the champ. She's the champ. She's the champ. Switched up quick. Three to five business days. now he's the champ she's the champ she's the champ she's the champ switched out quick three to five business days

three to five business days she went from 400 and something in the collegiate ranking to number one Amazon Prime of gender switches yes

yes okay now I know she lost some races or whatever I would I would throw some too I would throw a few too

to make it that's a theory I mean dude she's did you see her standing next to the other girls? She's like twice the size. The other girls were like much, much shorter. They look like, let's be honest, she looks like a male swimmer. Yeah.

Because she was one. I mean, she used to be one. Yeah. So here's my example right now there are none and there probably never will be and by probably I almost mean definitely mm-hmm well never will be or could be a trans man. There could never be a trans man that could ever play in the NFL. To make it to the NFL, you know, at the combine. Yeah. To get those numbers.

Okay. To take those hits, to be able to give those hits on a 300-pound man or a man who is 220 running a 440 it's not it's just some things are anatomically anchored yeah that being one of them okay there will never be a trans man who could beat randy moss in a race it will never happen it'll never happen not only will there not be a trans man who could be there will never be a trans man who will be able to beat the 400th fastest wide receiver

in Division 1 or whatever. It's just the same way the 150th man in the world in tennis would beat Serena Williams, who's the greatest tennis player of all time. Okay? Everyone knows this to be true, because it is.

Okay. Some things are just true. You know, and some people have a hard time when you say it, but we all know it's true. So there will never be a trans man who can make it to the NFL. There'll never be a trans man

who could play in the NBA. Okay. Let me ask you this. Have you seen The Rock's daughter? Yes. She might tell you to shut the hell up. ancient greeks always said there is no rules without an exception wayne the rock johnson's daughter scares me son she's what you're saying is she's strong she she's very strong but you know what i'm saying yeah no i i got what you're

saying what i'm saying but look that son she's she's son yeah let's take a peek at the rock star. Look at that. I mean, that looks like Pocahontas on creatine. Yeah, yeah. And she's getting into wrestling now. Dude, she looks like the rock. I think if you got the genes. Yeah, the rock's genes are very strong. If you got the genes for it and you start at the age of zero, like you curling kettlebells in the womb, you might have a shot with genes. But I do. A shot at playing at the highest the womb You might have a shot With jeans

No But I do At playing at the Highest level You might have a shot To be able to compete With like a D3 guy In a pickup game

Or a D1 guy Maybe in a pickup game Yeah To compete But to play in the NBA Yeah I ain't gonna say You're gonna be good

But you can compete To make it to the NBA You can compete Look at them shoulders dog Yeah It'll Here's the thing. It'll never happen.

Yeah, okay. It'll never. Most of the time, I agree with you. Yeah, I mean, Brittany, let's say Brittany Griner, she's 6'9". You ever see her dunk? It's like a barely dunk. Yeah, yeah. You take any run-of-the-mill D1 6'9 guy, just going to back her down and just dunk her.

He's dunking that, yeah. Oh, dang. Yeah, but Brittany Griner dunk, she looks scared. It's like she's cooking bacon. Yeah, she just kind of makes it right over and just like, it's just a thing. It's a thing. Look, there's outliers here and there, but at the highest level, there will not be any outliers because those are the best of the best men, right? Now, what if they do like Mark McGuire level steroids? Just like juiced?

That's a good question. But then if the guys do the juice, then it's the same thing. No, just the chicks? Yeah, they're the only ones allowed to do the juice. Yeah, then I think we may. I don't know. I don't know how far they can take it. I don't know.

I don't know. But the fact remains is they're not guys. They're not guys. They're trans men. remains is they're not guys they're not guys they're trans men the thing that you can't say when this whole thing trans women are is a woman it's like a trans woman is a trans woman yep okay when i went when i went to give to to have my baby there was no trans women in the ward. It was all women. So can't we just, why is trans woman a bad word? Why can't you just call her a trans woman? Respect her pronouns, call her her, all that stuff. But why do I have to pretend like a trans woman and a woman are the same? They're not. No two people

are the same. So why, they're not the the same why am i being bullied into them being the same one was born a woman and can make kids the other one was born a dude and needs science to become a woman i don't think there's anything wrong with that because it's true because it's fucking true what is going on in our fucking society where you can't say what's fucking true when you have when we're taking every single fucking person's feelings into account, even if you have to deny reality. It's like, dude, you were not born. I don't know why or what, but you weren't born a woman.

You're a trans woman. I will call you a trans woman. There's nothing wrong with a trans woman. It's the greatest thing in the fucking world. Some of you are fucking hotter than chicks. But can I just call you what you are? Yeah. Tom Brady now plays for the Buccaneers, but that doesn't mean he wasn't a former patriot.

He was a former patriot. Exactly. It's always going to be on his resume. It's always on his resume. It's always on your resume, girl. Girl, it's on your resume. At a certain point, you hit on the other side of the plate yeah i mean i you know i know you so bad want but it is what it is like you're a trans woman or you're

a trans man yeah now back to my point right now let's just all the we went through all the allies right now any d1 d2 player could play in the WNBA. Not only could they play in the WNBA, if they transitioned in a year, like Leah. Leah transitioned in a year. She was competing from male to female. Any guy right now who played Division I basketball could play in the WA. Not only could they play in the WNBA, as soon as they got there, they would dominate. They would be dominant. And if a lot of trans women who used to be Division I players

decided to do that, the whole league would be trans women. It's just what would happen. Everyone knows it's true, and it is what it is. Not one trans man right now, not one trans man right now could make the NBA or the NFL.

Yeah. Not one. And the reason why that is Is because Biological men are stronger And faster and bigger That's just what it is At that level that's all You can't go oh there's some women who are big

And then people go well she will kick your ass Yanni yeah that's not what we're talking about We're talking about male sports, female sports, male athletes, female athletes at the top level, right? So right now, none could play, none. And no, will they ever be able to play in the NBA or the NFL but trans women. And the reason is because men are bigger than children. So why can we say that's true for trans men, but we can't say the same thing applies for trans women, right?

Why does the same not apply? Why does the same not apply when you go, biological men are stronger and bigger, and that's why trans men will never be able to compete with them at the top level. Why can't we also say that in women's sports by going, hey, biological men have an advantage? Because they do. They do.

Otherwise, Leah Thomas wouldn't be able to go from 400 in the world as a man to winning it. Okay, what made her such a good swimmer in a year? Was it her passion for swimming? Was it her diet that changed? Yeah, he cut out meat. for swimming? Was it her diet that changed? Yeah. Cut out meat. Cut out some meat.

Yeah, there was some meat she cut out for sure. I know this part wasn't funny, but I'm just, it's so tiring. No, it's okay. You need a long day, bro. You know,

you got to get it off your chest, son. Your lip is sweaty as shit. Yeah. All right, so get that shit out. Your lip is sweaty as shit. I mean, I'm just getting so tired of this. And this thing that this is going to be like some civil rights issue, it's just not.

I hate to tell you guys. I hate to say it to the progressives. It's not going to be a civil rights issue. It's just not. I've spoken to gay people who don't see it that way. I mean, it's just not going to be a civil rights issue. I mean, there is a biological woman who is losing a spot, right? Yep.

Because someone who transitioned is taking the spot. Yeah. Yeah, man. And it's hard. It's not fair to them. It's not fair. It's hard. And if you have Caitlyn Jenner taking the side of the biological woman, that's hard.

Because Caitlyn Jenner looks like she's going to be on your side. She's the Caitlyn Jenner taking the side of the biological woman, that's hard. Because Caitlyn Jenner looks like she's going to be on your side. She's the Caitlyn Jenner of trans. She's the Candace Owens of trans. Because it looks like she's going to be on your side, then she opens up her mouth and she says some shit that does not bide by you. She's not the only one. I mean, there's other trans people too. It's just not.

Those are the voices. You only have to find those on the internet. Yeah. And then unfortunately, those voices. Here's the thing that you do, here's the thing that people do, this is a long day so far, and then we'll get to the funny, but when you define somebody by one thing that they said, Yep. When you define someone by one thing they said, and you don't, or you define them and then you cast them away, what you do is you push them into the arms of extremists.

Further into the abyss of misunderstanding. Or also into the arms of the extremists. Yeah. Because those are the only people who will accept them for that one thing. And create a community around them. Because everyone else is going, I can't go. I can't be around this person. I can't be around this.

So the only people who say you can be around us are the ones who believe that. And also a bunch of other bad shit. And therefore, you just create more adversary for yourself. War makes for strange bedfellows. So if everyone casts me out, but the only people who are accepting me happen to be, you know, sexist or racist or homophobic, at a certain point you go, hey, I'm a person. I need friends. Yeah, if they're going to be able to sleep, I'm going to take it. So then you end up going like, I i need friends yeah if they're gonna be asleep and i'm

gonna take it so then you end up going like i guess those are the friends are gonna be so when you define person by one thing they did uh by a mistake they did a sin they did a tweet they did whatever it is that's essentially what you're doing that's essentially you're pushing them into the arms you're growing your opposition you're making more enemies. You're forcing them into the tribe that will accept them because they're the only ones crazy enough to say, hey, we don't think what you said was that bad. And you go, it was kind of bad, but I don't think they should have wrote me off about it.

And they go, no, it wasn't bad. You're friends. Also, we got a pamphlet we need you to read about some other stuff. Yeah, and the next thing you know, you're eating elk on a Traeger grill and listening to Joe Rogan. I love how hate groups always have pamphlets. They got a lot of literature. They got a lot of literature, dog.

Let me tell you what really happened. Yeah, you can bet in those pamphlets, the apostrophes are not using the correct. At the end of the day, I mean, you know, everyone's got their brand. Everyone's just trying to push their brand, dog. That's right. It's culture wars. You've got to pick a side. The culture war is big right now.

The culture war is big. The culture war is big. And this is one of the thorny issues of the culture war. And like I said, it's very interesting to see that it's really only women sports where this has become an issue. Because let me tell you something right now, activists or whoever's mad at me right now, YouTube. I fully, fully support and would love to see a trans man in the NFL. Oh, I'd love that. Dude, everyone would be rooting for him.

Why? Because he's coming up with more of a disadvantage than Rudy. Not only is he smaller, he was a chick at one point. So if a chick at one point can compete with dudes at the highest level, who is not rooting for that? The reason why people have a problem with this is because of the advantage of being bigger stronger and you know everyone knows that that's the truth everyone that's why sports are separated by sex in the first place you know that's the reason why you

know serena doesn't complete against compete against an adult. You know? Look, when Billie Jean King and whatever that dude was did that thing, okay, that wasn't a real thing. What was that? That was equality of the sexes. Remember she played him in a ballad? She played some, and he was like some comedian guy or whatever.

That wasn't a real thing, guys, okay? It wasn't a real thing. If Djokovic and Serena Williams played right now Serena would get smoked smoked because one of them's a dude and one of them's a girl and then I got all that ass too she's got all that ass but that's just what it is man that's just what it is so I I fully support any trans man to play in men's sports. Me too. I just, I don't think we're going to see it. Yeah.

You know, except maybe The Rock's daughter. Yeah. But she's going into wrestling. In professional wrestling, I think you could, I support men and women fighting each other because it's not real. So that's a good thing. MMA, it's going to be tough to watch. That's a tough one.

I support, you know, there have been a couple of trans, there have been a couple of trans men who've boxed against men. Everyone supports that. You know? Yeah. I support that. Yeah. Hey, you know?

They did it in golf. What's her name? Annika Sorensen, I think was her name. Yeah, it's a non-contact sport. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know? Sure did it in golf. What's her name? Annika Sorensen, I think was her name. Yeah, it's a non-contact sport. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know? Sure, if you can do it. If a trans man can do it.

They do it in curling, too. Dude. Yeah. Compete against the boys. Hell yeah. I'm for it. I don't know how you can discriminate against that. But when it comes to the other way, I think that's what the issue is.

Maybe some of this is that it hasn't been, like, narrowed down. Anyway, this is getting so boring i'm just so done with it i i saw it and i got i got so like i was like isn't isn't all this war in the world like putting things into perspective you know like ethiopia now has a war like people are getting slaughtered. Ukrainian civilians are getting, like, bombed. And then, like, we turn on American news. It's like, do you support Leah Thomas or not? And I'm going like, oh, my God. I don't know.

American news is about causes. What are you writing for? And also, it's very self-centered. Like, where's my rights? Where's my respect? And people always search for that, you know? Other people are fighting fighting for their survival so it's a different warfare here you know yeah it's very it's very strange and one thing is very real and the other thing is kind of like it's just not really real it's like a you know you, it's not real. You can't, her, she's a trans woman. She's trans.

If there was no difference between women and trans, why wouldn't there be a trans, why would there still be a trans porn section? Why wouldn't it just be called women's? Why would it just be called women's porn? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if there wasn't a little bit of a difference, be called women's why would we go why would it just be called women's porn yeah yeah i mean there wasn't a little bit of a difference why would why wouldn't it just because you know when you cut when you the truth comes out in finance and sports yeah i mean we may not be able to air this episode

but isn't that wild that we couldn't just get off the facetime with deborah so jesus christ this one's demonetized for sure. I mean, this is just going to be demonetized. Absolutely. It's just going to be demonetized. But I mean, what can we do? I mean, are we going to... Because when you get down to the bare bones of it,

money, like the market, and sex is where the truth comes out. That's where it drives. That's where it kind of like the truth comes out. So it's like, it would be funny if you talked to a porn producer and you're like, hey, dog, why don't you just call it women's porn? He goes, what?

He goes, no, guys don't like that. Guys like it when it's a little naughty. And then I know some people are watching going, ah, this porn industry objectifies them. Yeah, of course they do. They objectify everybody. That's why it's called porn. Gay guy is the same thing.

Gay porn is the same thing. It objectifies women. Yeah, I think it objectifies. That's the point of it. Nobody's there to get mentally stimulated yeah you're there to look at somebody be objectified for their body that's what porn is i don't know anyway i just i mean what can you do epstein's island's for sale let's buy it move down there 125 125 mil i would buy it buying epstein's island is like buying an apartment an apartment

where someone was murdered yeah you know you get a deal on it do you care about that like if you get a if you get a see an apartment and you love the apartment right because this is the the this is the issue that a lot of real estate agents run into not a lot because it doesn't happen a lot but real estate agents run into the issue of they gotta unload this apartment there was a murder that happened here get off the hands right for example like uh where i lived this husband he went on he did a rampage he killed his wife the two dogs himself but it's a beautiful house it's a beautiful house yeah so i i i guess they try to hide it, right? Like it's kind of like dressing up a corpse.

They kind of, I guess they get rid of the bloodstains in the floor. Yeah. Yeah, that house comes with stained glass and carpet. Yeah. But I don't know if they try to. I guess at some point, you know, people read the paper. They know or whatever. Do you think they just admit it up front?

They go, listen. Okay, we're going to show you a you beautiful house but here's the deal i don't know if you believe in this stuff but husband killed his wife dogs the whole thing the person's going even the dogs yeah he wiped out everything he killed the dogs he did but let me tell you about the square footage and the acreage, and also walk-in closet. I mean, it's still a beautiful house. What are you taking off the top, though? What kind of discount am I getting for that? That's the thing.

I wonder. I'm sure, like, okay, look, it's a beautiful house. Normally, this house would go for this, this, and this. But since there was a murder a few weeks ago in here, we're going to give it a little haircut. Would you buy a house that there was a murder in?

That's why the house is up for sale. No, probably not. You wouldn't, right? I'd buy it to have other people live in it, but I'm not going to live in it myself. That just shows that we'll never be rational beings because I wouldn't buy it either. No, I wouldn't. But that just shows that on some level, I don't even think the most rational person would. I need 25K for everybody that drops in that house.

25K. I'm going to get that house on Groupon. But if you think about it logically, and that's how I know. That's the thing about humans. Humans are not rational by nature. We're emotional by nature. We are. You need to learn to think to be reasonable.

Reason needs to be taught. See, I would buy it if it was in a wide open loft space. Yeah. But I wouldn't buy it if it was a three-story house. Now, what's the difference? I could see everything. Like, if there's a basement. Oh, so you could see if ghosts come?

Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, I'm afraid of ghosts and being haunted and shit. I'm good. Yeah, but ghosts don't exist. I know, but at least if you're in a wide open space, you can see every corner. Yeah. And you're a grown man.

I know. So that's kind of like Epstein's Island. Yeah. Like some bad things happen there, but it is beautiful. It's in the, what is it, Caribbean? Yeah, I think it's Caribbean. And it's only 125 mil, dog. Like, you know, 125 mil, I think Deshaun Watson could get that island and do whatever he wants down there.

That's lunch money for Bezos. Yeah, if I'm buying Epstein's Island. Do I want Deshaun Watson's contract? He may buy that. Yeah. He may be like, you know, I was also into massages. If I'm buying that island, I'm buying it and I'm turning it into an amusement park. Because no kids like it.

Yeah. What do you do with that island? It's for sale. I mean, it's on the market. Just rebrand it. You just rebrand it. You rebrand it. Yeah.

Power of advertising, man. Yeah. it you just rebrand it you rebrand it yeah yeah power of advertising man yeah because i guess the the spirit of a story is always ingrained in a place that's why maybe nobody would buy it because you'd always be thinking about that's the power of the imagination the spirit of the story is some in some ways bigger than reality yeah it's like it's a part of reality you can't because look the a rational person would say okay someone was murdered in this house. That has nothing to do with the house. The wood didn't do anything.

The floor didn't do anything. It's still the same house. That's gone. It's not there anymore. Everything is removed. They Febreze the place. They Febreze it. It's just a house.

It's an inanimate object. People stand on blocks all the time where there were murders. You ever look at those old, like when they do the two photos together of the war and they'll show like... Yeah. I did that when I was in Germany. We were looking at these old pictures

with the Nazis. We were standing around. People were just eating hot dogs or whatever the fuck they were eating. Murders happened there. Nazis marched there. Nobody cares, right? So it happens all the time.

Someone probably died in this apartment. Someone probably died here, right? With the way this heat is, for sure. But when you know about it, that's the difference is when you know about it. And also when you claim it. People can go to those corners, go to those houses. People go to the 9-11 memorial and they look at it. Yeah, people died here, but they don't have an immediate connection of ownership to it.

When you own it, it's like that's in your head because you have to worry about it. And now it's a part of yourself. Now you're connecting yourself to that murder. Right. So you think that's what it is. Yeah, yeah. Because when you wake up in the bed, you wake up early morning, sun's coming through the window. You're like, damn, she slid her throat right here.

That's the thing. You circle on it. Your imagination's just going like, wow. And you're always in that state of mind. You're going like, that happened here.id her throat right here. That's the thing. You circle on it. Your imagination's just going like, wow. And you're always in that state of mind. You're going like, that happened here. I wonder where she was. Yeah. When you put garbage down the garbage disposal, you go, did she put a finger down there too?

So it's always in your mind, and you're always living within that bubble, physically and mentally. Yeah. Now, a lot of people believe in ghosts. A lot of people just believe in it. A lot of people just believe that the ghosts are haunting. I always thought it was problematic that ghosts only haunt inside they're not outdoor like they're just they're always inside as if they're also they're also vulnerable to weather conditions they're never outside there's never a ghost sighting like you know they're always in the

crib and they're always haunting in the crib you know know? Yeah. And it's just like they have all these powers, but all they do is just like move furniture a little over. Yeah. Or like a wind will gust. Yeah. Like if I had that power, I would do more with it. You know? I'd stick a finger in your butt while you're banging your wife.

There has been like apparition sightings in like outside places and like woodsy areas or places out in Arizona and stuff like that like that but do you believe in ghosts i think i do yeah of course you so many people believe because i feel like emotionally you could be so angry about something right right like if you passed away right after your transgender rant right knowing knowing that transgenders can compete and compete freely and beat people if you pass away there during that i think your spirit will be so mad you'll stick around and be like nah fuck that i'm gonna try to erect it myself and then you're gonna be hunting leah thomas you're gonna be hunting caitlin jenner and shit like that so i think i think if you're really mad about something

and so passionate about something you stick around because when you think about all the ghosts like go stick around the houses because oh they got murdered or they found out their wife was cheating on them and they got killed and they haunt that house so if you're mad about something like you know if you didn't get the proper money back from your tax return and you die you i'm staying so you oh it says unfinished business unfinished business yeah you're gonna give me that 650 dollars yeah yeah unfinished business yeah yeah i'm filling out that w9 in the afterlife i'm coming back for my fun son that's what it's about it's interesting though it's an interesting thing uh yeah you don't believe in ghosts no i don't believe in ghosts i don't i don't and it's funny when you don't

believe in ghosts you don't see them ever it's like it's a funny little thing it's funny how that works how you have to believe it goes first to see one you know but that's not true i've heard people go i didn't hear believe in that shit and then i saw fucking but you know your mind is so powerful you know things i just don't think that they people why would a ghost hang out on the planet what why would he what would he be doing hanging around here yeah maybe there's another dimension you we can't see is that what it is dimension you know but you know you're a guy you're kind of biased because you've been subjected to the physical things in life. You almost got shot in the dick.

You've been electrocuted. I did get shot. You get electrocuted. Almost in the dick, yeah. Yeah, you've been electrocuted. You deal with the real physical shit, so you're not paying attention to the wind. You know? Yeah.

So it's like- No, because here's the thing about ghosts. You know how much life sucks, and you know people are not going to stick around after it's done. That's the thing. Why would people create more horror? There's enough horror. Yeah. I believe in things like cancer, evil people, bad intentions, disease, accidents.

Life offers a lot. There's no reason for you to see the 11th season of Grey's Anatomy. Why would people create more things to be scared of? I'm not scared of ghosts. Look, if there are ghosts, i'm not scared of ghosts look if there are ghosts i'm not scared of them okay because they ain't doing shit yeah i've been in a theater and heard a bang where people were like what was that and i just went like i don't know and i don't care even if it is a ghost i don't give a shit yeah what do they what is there to be he's fucking invisible he's dead he can't do nothing to me you know but the human imagination makes you think

anything is possible that's the good of it and the bad of it. Like, it's like, when you're, everything has a bad side, a yin and a yang. Like, my mom was a fighter, so when she had a cause,

she was at her best. Yep. But if you took the cause away, she was still a fighter. That's a fact. So she was gonna sue every company that gave her a bill.

Yep. She was gonna fight with her tenant. She was gonna fight with her kids. That's just, you know, that's the downside to it. Everything has a pro her a bill. She was going to fight with her tenant. She was going to fight with her kids. That's just, you know, that's the downside to it. Everything has a pro and a con. So the human imagination has the pro that it creates everything we see around us.

Everything we see is an idea. Have you ever thought about that? Every single thing you're looking at was an idea first. We live in the manifestation of ideas. Every single thing, including us, we were an idea first. We live in the manifestation of ideas. Every single thing, including us, we were an idea. Our dad had an idea

to fuck our moms. They thought that that was a good idea. In all three of our cases, it was wrong. But at one time, it was an idea because they all got divorced. We all have divorced parents.

Yeah. So they were going like, okay, maybe it was a good idea at the time, but we don't get along anymore but um that too was an idea everything starts you cannot look at one thing in this room that was not born from someone's idea someone visualized this camera someone visualized the table the radio all this was visualized the table, the radio. All this was visualized. So that's the upside to it. The downside to that power is like there's ghosts. Ghosts are possible. Yeah. Ghosts are in the room.

Ghosts are watching me jerk off. That stuff doesn't bother me. You know what else doesn't bother me, dog? If the government's watching me jerk off, I don't mind. I don't fucking put my finger over the camera. Watch me jerk off. I don't give a fuck. Blackmail me.

Maybe if I was like a full of shit, powerful person, I i'd care more that's such the fun thing about being a comedian yeah they go like oh but now now they treat us like we're not they go like oh god this day it's like yeah i'm a comedian what do you i don't give a fuck i'm i don't i'm a comedian why do you care what i jerk what i'm doing what i what i look like when i jerk off yeah yeah and who has the time to sit around and what you'd probably giggle the first I look like when I jerk off. Yeah. Yeah. And who has the time to sit around and watch? You'd probably giggle the first couple seconds you watch someone jerk off and then you get bored out of your mind watching somebody jerk off.

Is it that interesting to watch somebody fucking yank one out? Nah, I'd probably laugh. I'd probably laugh at their breathing pattern. Yeah. Seeing the face would be funny. Yeah, seeing somebody's cum face. That'd be kind of funny. Yeah, it'd be funny. The first time. Second time, you're like, oh yeah. People being washed, I don't mind that. I don't mind ghosts either i believe in them you know i actually embrace the idea of ghosts especially

racist ghosts isn't believe isn't believing in ghosts a little tiny bit a hint of schizophrenia is it like borderlinings on schizophrenia like there's things there there's things there but yeah it's a kid it's a cousin if something happens that i can't explain i'll just defer it to ghost right you know like that was probably a ghost right i'm not gonna worry about it you know but i i embrace the idea goes so i like the idea of a civil war soldier from the south coming up and like stalking me right because now he doesn't understand how i have a life right i just get up like... He's going, wait a second here. Is that motherfucker driving right there? Y'all, wait a second here. I don't understand what's going on here, man.

Y'all are working together? What? What? Yeah. Wait, how are y'all working together? What? Yes. Did that boy just kiss that white girl yeah or don't you think they

would be pissed or they can't do nothing about it or no or they would be pissed because a lot of them were just swept up in the time yeah maybe they were pissed going like i died so y'all were y'all got free anyway and i died yeah yeah but you could change the tide with a lot of racist ghosts because you're gonna see black people they're gonna see black people live but the second they watch nfl red, they're going to understand. You know what's also funny about people is people, the Stockholm Syndrome and stuff, people, no matter whether it's something, people only know what they're exposed to. That's a fact.

Those are Plato's allegory of the cave. Plato's allegory of the cave was, his allegory was you had people chained up in a cave. And they were facing the opposite direction of the fire. You know what? Projections, yeah. And they were looking at the shadows, and that was their reality. But even though the fire was real and the shadows were just shadows, they thought the shadows were real.

The Stockholm Syndrome and Plato's Allegory of the Cave kind of run together. They're kind of like the same thing. That even when your thing is miserable or not even viable any longer, like slavery wasn't even viable any longer. They had machines. Even as an economic system, it wasn't viable. The whole thing was gone.

They still fought for this horrible way. I don't believe that there's millions of bad people. You know, the whole thing was gone. They still fought for this horrible way. Like what? I don't believe that there's millions of bad people. I believe there's tons of stupid people. And then there's a bunch like a fewer, very manipulative or evil people. Cokes with compelling movements and propaganda. I do not think that the Confederacy was a bunch. All of them were evil.

I don't think everyone. They were fighting for an evil thing, but that's because they got manipulated into it. Yeah. And also there's that Stockholm Syndrome thing. It's what you know. Yeah. This is our way of life. They're trying to change it.

And then when you go, wait a second, can we just sit down and, it's almost like this trans debate where you go, can we just sit down and talk about it? They go, no, my mind's made up. My mom, my dad, sweet tea. I need, I need, need i need that man and you're like dude you're a poor southern boy who never had slaves i know but i was told it's our way of life yeah the confederacy was just biden voters dude yeah i mean how many confederate soldiers do you think own slaves probably 0.01 percent of them like almost of them. They were just poor white kids from the south who were told like we're under. They were told like the way Putin is telling the Russian people through his state run media. Yeah.

We're under attack by the West and all this bullshit. That's the same thing that happened in the Civil War. Yeah. Where these rich southern plantation owners were going like, you know, they're trying to take my money. They're trying to take our way of life. I don't want to pay these people. I don't want equality. I don't want any of this shit. I'm making a fortune.

We've been making a fortune for a couple generations off of slavery. So it's like, they're not going to go fight. No. But what they do is they get some fiery charismatic person, Calhoun, and all these fucking politicians who they pay off to get an office to protect their interests. They would rather stick to it than evolve. Because what you know is always more comfortable than what you don't. Death could be orgasmic, dog.

I mean, yo,'t death could be orgasmic dog i mean yo the muslims could be right not the not the virgin part because like that's a little fucking pedophile feelish isn't it like has anyone ever been like yo dog that's a little 72 versions like first of all that's that's that's bad because they're young yeah second of all it's, they don't know how to fuck. Do you want, who wants, don't you want like a, I want 72 like, 30 year old divorcees who are cock hungry.

Yeah, you don't want your virgins watching Masterclass before you have sex. Yeah. But maybe they're right about just like a paradise where like,

you get to indulge in all the things that had consequences here, but they don't have consequences there. So if you love, blow. How come nobody ever sells their religion like that?

This would be my religion. It would be called Yannicism. I'd be like, yo, this is how I would pitch it at the religion expo. I'd be like, yo, dog, Muslims are offering you 72 women in heaven. The Mormons are offering you as many wives as you want. That's good.

Here's what I'm offering you, dog. What do you like? Not everyone likes to fuck. What do you like? You love blow. That's good. Here's what I'm offering you, dog. What do you like? Not everyone likes to fuck. What do you like? You love blow. You love blow. Problem is, when you do blow,

you end up selling your mom's toaster. It's a problem. You disappear for four days. You have heart palpitations. Your blood pressure's through the roof. You're gonna die

of a heart attack. Here's my deal. In Yanni-ism, you go to, you do, it's a fucking ski resort every night baby i'm talking pacino level scarface mounds of blow every night techno music blaring you got people who actually listen to your ideas and stories while you're on blow and and affirm it yeah and know

what you're talking about constantly okay what do you like dog what are you into yeah you know uh you like to drink dog bottomless pit liver is immortal you can just keep going you can sit at the bar tell bullshit stories fucking whatever it is everyone's got some vice what do you like to do you like to stick a gerbil in your ass richard gear guess what you can do and you guess what you can do in my heaven okay you can breed them you can breed them in your stomach yeah and they pop in and out of your ass your first follower is going to be hunter biden you like crack dog you like crack but hunter i would make a heaven tailored for whatever your thing is that you hate to do. Like you?

Food a little bit. Yeah. Something you battle. Yeah. You had constantly, when you were young, I'd be like, yo, Jared, I know you like, you pretending that sweet potatoes are the thing, but I know what you really want. Yeah. Them French fries.

You promised me a heaven with a little bit of streusel? Streusel. Dog, I'm out. I go, Jared, how good was that Cinnabon in Minneapolis? Yeah. That was a real naughty thing, and then you had to go work out at the gym? Because Jared will go to the gym at like one in the morning. Yes.

Jared, here's the thing in my gym. My heaven is made of Cinnabons. You eat the walls. You can eat the walls. It's a never-ending Cinnabon that you never get tired of. But I think my heaven will be, I'll be like, yo, Jesse, you could fucking sit and fucking sculpt all day while you listen. No, no, no, I want the Coke party. You want the Coke party?

You like the who-hats? I want the Coke party. Yeah, I'd be like, yo, Leah Thomas, you can fucking beat women in racing. party yeah i'd be like yo leah thomas you can fucking beat women in racing it just it'll your heaven will just be you and whip and biological women and you could just fucking come in first over and over and over again hyena fans the podcast never breaks up yep Yep. It keeps going forever and ever and ever. If you're ambitious, I'd be like, yo, dog,

I'll give you country after country. Like, Putin's heaven? I'd be like, yo, how come somebody's not coming? Like, yo, dog, if you stop this world right now, when you die,

I will give you a million Ukrainians to attack. You could just attack Ukraine over and over and over and never get tired of and they keep on coming back like a call of duty game yeah all right we want to give a shout out to our small business sponsors guys we want you guys to support these guys they got emerging businesses they're hustlers they're grinding trying to make it happen uh how did you like you came over my

house yeah um you guys gonna come up and watch some tourney games? Yeah. Yeah. How big is my screen, baby? Your screen is nice. I got 75 inches on the wall. Yeah. I'm surprised that you're not 400 pounds with the way your screen looks.

I know. It's big, dog. How did you like your Brooklyn Cannery? Brooklyn Cannery was nice. It was nice. It was refreshing. Not too much sugar. Calories were low.

It was just good. It was like a nice little seltzer soda. It was very nice. It's one. It was refreshing. Not too much sugar. Calories were low. It was just good. It was like a nice little seltzer soda. It was very nice. It's one gram of added sugar. Yeah. Most of the sweetness comes from the stevia, the monk fruit. It's all natural. Sumerian extract, all that. It's very natural. Very good for you. And yeah, they just figured out this concoction and it's delicious. And it helps your stomach

which we've heard from Giannis' ass. Yeah, it's prebiotic. Yes. I guess because monk fish is prebiotic. Yeah. It's because monkfish is prebiotic. It's just delicious, dog. And it's like the key lime with jalapeno. How nice is that? A little bit of kick at the end, yeah. That little kick at the end. It's not a lot of kick.

It's a little kick. Then you got the cola amaretto. The ginger beer is incredible. Ginger beer is my favorite. I want to make a drink with that. You can. Yeah, you can. It's nice.

Nice little calorie, yeah. Dude, Brooklyn Cannery. Go to brooklyncannery.com. Use the promo code YANUSPAPAS right now for 15% off your order. Do it. Go order a bunch of these. Try all the flavors. They're incredible.

I have a bunch. Jared had them at my crib. Yep. So go support Brooklyn Cannery. Follow them on Instagram, Brooklyn Cannery. And then, of course, we got our freaking cold. We got them all in the studio now, baby cold spring water.com go to freaking cold that's freaking with no g freaking cold spring water.com go order your waters now these are infinitely

recyclable they stay real cold because obviously aluminum keeps it colder. No plastic bottles. None of that stuff. No China. No bad for the environment. Freaking cold. They're amazing. So go order them at freakingcoldspringwater.com. Then, of course, if you want to get your LASIK done, which I might, go see Dr. Nicola Ragusa in New York at ocnyi.com.

That's O-C-N-Y-I dot com. That's O-C-N-Y the letters I dot com. Mention Long Days or Giannis. That's where you heard it. And you will get what does he take off for you? 10%. 10% off your LASIK. So call

that number, which Jesse took down too quick. It is 646, New York area code right there. Now you got Longshore up. Oh yeah, we're moving along. Yeah, but I got to give them the number. Oh no, you got the website. Just try the website. Okay, then we got Longshore Coffee.

LongshoreCoffee.com 15% off at checkout with the promo code Fumes. The coffee's delicious. I drink it every morning. That's your coffee company, longshorecoffee.com. Nate Linder, your social media manager. NateLinder.com for all things social media. Up your social media game with the boy, Nate Linder.

We got to call this guy. Yeah, we got to make this call happen. He hooks it up. He's going to help us. And he can help you, too. Go to natelinder.com. Get in touch. It helps you with the Google search.

Yeah, yeah. Get your game up. Get your game up, son. Get your game up, son. Chris Minetti in the South Jersey, Philly area. We should have visited him when we were down there doing shows. We should have brought him some D'Alessandro's. Yeah.

Yo, Chris, next time we're down there, we're going to come visit you, dog. Yeah. Why didn't he come to the show? I don't know. Did you not know about the show, Chris? Yeah, I don't know. But if we go back there and his business is in the back of a crown fried chicken, I'm going to be pissed.

215-750-3730. Call Chris. That's it. Just the phone number. If you want to cash a check, go to Chris Minetti Financial Services, which is just a fancy way to say it's Chris's little store to cash his check. Yeah. TheBronxBrand.com, guys. Go support these Bronx artists who get a revenue share.

Yeah. T-shirts, prints, art, BronxBrand.com. You get a little discount code if you use, what was their promo code? Black Lives Matter. No. Fumes. get a little discount code if you use what was their promo code um black last night no uh fumes bronxbrand.com promo code fumes you get 15 off do it t-shirts original art all stuff canvases whatever you want uh what did you get i got a canvas what was the canvas of it was like a flower a budding flower coming out of the sky it's very nice and who's the artist you remember i know i don't remember that i'm looking up yeah and then of course we got um who's this prevail oh prevail the movie which i still have not watched but go watch this uh movie it's a self-funded movie it's a black mirror type cautionary tale made by this kid um and so go

watch it we'll put the link in the description. He gave us a new link. So go right down to the description of this episode on YouTube, or you can see it also in the description if you're listening to this. Or Google the movie Prevail, I guess, and find the link. He has a GoFundMe.com, and it's pay what you can, right? It's pay what you can. So help the dude out. Support the arts. Support the arts, man. GoFundMe.com, and it's pay what you can, right? It's pay what you can. So help the dude out.

Support the arts. Support the arts, man. Of course. Go support this kid. What's his name? His name is... We don't know. Prevail.

Clinton. Clinton T. No, no, no. Clifton T. Clifton T. Go support Clifton and his movie Prevail. We should check it out. Maybe the three of us should watch it.

It's a short... Maybe we'll watch it in the studio next week. ForTheFree.us, all things music from Hawaii. They list bands you can find out about, music events happening. If you're a music fan or you're going to Hawaii, you got to go to ForTheFree.us

and find out what events are happening, what the cool bands are. And if you're a music fan, go discover some new bands from Hawaii. Very cool for the free what they're doing. And then of course, we got, he's going to be at the show in San Antonio. He's coming, yeah. Jared,

exclusiveautoshipping.com if you're moving your car anywhere in the world. Go get your free quote with exclusiveautoshipping.com. And Ben Smith. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Ben Smith, send your copy. We don't know what you're trying to promote. Yeah, dog.

Maybe he just wants to support. I don't know. So Ben Smith, shout out. All right, patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays. We want to welcome our newest long haulers to the Fediverse. Get your bonus episode every week, your additional long days episode. I want to shout out Ryan Dean, Mike Gorman, Lucas Mata, Greg, Bob, Melissa F, Dimitra. Girl.

C. Cimuani. Cicumani. Cicumani. What? Yeah. Dimitra Cicumani. Wow.

She's Greek. What? Yeah, Dimitra Tsikoumani. Wow. She's Greek. Samuel Crawford, Thai, Vincent Espinosa, Dick Palmer. That's a power name. Dick Palmer.

Dick Palmer. Joshua Morales, Ben, J-Dub, Becca D, Coco Johnston. That is a 0% chance that person is white. Garlic Knot, Coco Johnston. That is a 0% chance that person is white. Garlic Knot. Coco Johnston, that's a good, strong power black man. Yeah, yeah. You got to come out with an album or a perfume. That name should be a brand. Or you make your own hair products.

Yeah, Coco Johnston hair products. Coco Johnston. And then we got Garlic Knot. Another good one. Rumsfeld Fididash. Fididash. Fididash. Rumsfeld Fididash.

Rumsfeld Fididash sounds like a Rumpelstiltskin character. Yeah. Like a character in a Disney movie. Then we got Jonathan Jameis. Stevie Woot. A cute toot sent to stop Vladdy Poot. That's the winner. Then we got Dylan Clunin, Oliver RK, Joshua Gray, Trillstein, Bradley Heverstrock, TN, Flood, and Jerry Joyner. Thank you, guys.

We'll see you next week. It's been a long day.