Yannis Pappas Hour - Even Trade at the Border

Episode Date: January 26, 2024

With masses dropping dead from Fentanyl, Yanni wonders if a war on Zyn should be a priority. Also, he has some fun with the illegal gun trade across the border from America to the Mexican cartels and the Mexican government’s lawsuit against a few classic American weapons manufacturers. Finally, Yanni amends his views on the vaccine and explains why. Jon Stewart is returning to save the Daily Show, as well. Lots of comedy for you folks! Check out Prize Picks here: https://www.prizepicks.com/podcast?&utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=PodcastAds&utm_campaign=100depositmatch&utm_content=YannisPappasHour&utm_term=YANNIS?invite_code=YANNIS Bonus episodes every week: https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator See Yanni do stand up live in your town: Ticket links: https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/shows Join our highlights page for highlight clips from the episodes: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykw

Guys, before we start this episode, all tickets to see me live are available at yannispappascomedy.com. Coming up, I am in San Francisco at Cobb's Comedy Club, February 9th and 10th. Atlanta, February 15th through the 17th. San Diego, February 23rd and 24th. Stanford, Connecticut, March 1st and 2nd. Chicago, March 8th at the Vic Theater. Denver, Chicago, March 8th at the Vic Theater. Denver, March 14th through 16th. Toronto, the Royal Theater. I'll be shooting my special show at it.

March 23rd in Toronto. Cleveland, March 29th and 30th. Tulsa, April 5th and 6th. Kansas City, Missouri, April 11th through 13th. Cary, North Carolina at the Raleigh Improv. May 17th and 18th. Atlantic City, June 22nd. Dania Beach, September 13th through 15th. Tacoma, Washington, September 19th through 21st.

Brea, LA, baby, September 27th through 29th. Levity Live in West Nyack, October 11th and 13th. Milwaukee Improv, December 5th and 13th milwaukee improv december 5th and 7th so please go get your tickets right now at yannis pappas comedy.com and guess what my friends i will also be at the netflix spa netflix um festival i will be at the Hollywood Laugh Factory. Netflix is a joke festival in Los Angeles, May 2nd. So get your tickets. Also,

patreon.com slash januspapasour. What's up, everybody? Welcome to The Janus Papasour. I want to remind everybody to join patreon.com slash januspapasour for our weekly bonus episodes. They're so good. We've been nominated to host the Oscars, but we said no. We're for the people. We gave it to Jimmy Kimmel. Nobody can do it like Jimmy Kimmel. I can't wait to see what he says about the celebrity. Nobody roasts those people like Jimmy Kimmel. He tells it like it is, and I can't wait to see it.

So join our Patreon. As far as this week goes, what do you want me to tell you? We got an opioid crisis. The cartels in Mexico have been using our guns made here, and the Mexican government has sued these gun companies, and an American court, it has upheld the appeal that this can continue. So we are going to talk about how those cartels have the right to bear arms just like we do, just like everybody does. This is a Second Amendment situation that extends to all global citizens that have a right to arm themselves. And if the people want to stop getting murdered by the cartels, then Mexico's got to lift its gun control measures

and arm up all the people and let them all kill each other so then we can waltz in there and expand Texas because Texas will be its own country soon because they're about to go to war with the United States over wire, over wire cutting on the border. And Chicago and New York City are going to sue bus companies because the buses are bringing the migrants up. So we are just at the mercy of foreign interests, including China with tech doc, including Israel and Palestine, including

Ukraine and Russia, including the UTs and the two T's and the youthies. I don't know how to pronounce it, but they're coming from Yemen. Iran's backing them and they'reutees and the youthies i don't know how to pronounce it but they're coming from yemen iran's backing them and they're firing shit and they're jumping off uh helicopters onto these goddamn ships in the red sea like it's an episode of macgyver and they're filming it like i'm watching a red bull commercial they're filming it they got gopros on everyone is making content including hamas terrorists they're all making content. Content is king. Make sure you got your GoPro on whatever you do. I did Rogan last episode. And what he didn't know is that when we were talking before and after I had a GoPro attached to my belt and I was still filming baby. Cause I'm going to put out a podcast about hanging out. Rogan called hanging out with Rogan

secretly. It's giving the Patreons can be $10,000 pop. Everything is content. Okay. I got family members who are sick. We're going to film it. This content. I'm walking around with the camera crew and it is content, content, content. If you're murdering someone, please film it so we can make a documentary about it on Netflix. American Nightmare was a great, great documentary.

I just wish that that guy who was breaking into people's homes, those women would have filmed it. So we could, there's parts of the documentary where it's lacking footage. Don't lack footage. Content is King. If you're not making content, you're gambling. Join the carousel of gambling or join the carousel of pun of content creation. Cause that's what we're doing. You're either making videos. You're either winning money on football. Or you are dead from fentanyl.

Those are your three options in America right now. And we will talk about that. Because right now Washington State won a big sum from Johnson & Johnson over the opioid crisis. And this follows a big, big sum that a lot of the other companies had to pay the United States for all these fentanyl clinics and to try to clean up the problem because they made a huge profit in proselytizing and expanding the pharmaceutical industry's reach in prescribing all these painkillers. And now they are being charged with helping the states and cities clean it up. It's a small cost to doing business.

I'm sure it doesn't put a dent into their profit margin. Also, I've amended my opinion about the COVID vaccine. I'll tell you about it, but I think I was a little wrong. Not too wrong, but a little wrong. We're going to talk about it. Also, the world is flat. Welcome to the Yanis Pap Also, the world is flat. Welcome to the Giannis Pappas Hour. That's unrelated.

Where we put swim trunks on and we just flap around in the water because we ain't going anywhere. We're circling the drain. So keep treading water. Giannis Pappas. Yeah. When you all talked up in the day been long. And the news online going on and on. What's lying wrong? And there's something up. Now here comes a great kid. Guys, I'm very proud and happy to have this sponsor. Everyone loves fantasy sports.

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Prize picks. Pick more, pick less less it's that easy what i'm saying is the gravitational pull of the drain has us all treading water we can't swim right it's an undertow and we're going what is that undertow it's a drain and it's pulling us but you got to tread water for as long as you can in your swim trunks, in the Yanis Papasour sphere of influence. I'm an influencer. I'm a content creator. I am no longer a comedian.

I'm a clip maker. I'm a content creator. And I'm here to make content for you. I will tell you the truth. I'll tell you half truths. I'll tell you the opposite truth. Whatever it takes to get the AI that fuels your interest cooking.

I'm a servant. I'm a slave to the algorithmic computer mind that dictates what we see, when we see it, and why we see it. There is absolutely nothing going on on TikTok and X. By the way, has there ever been more of a rejection of a new name than X? The only thing that it can remind me of is when Coke tried to do new Coke and the people said, no, no, no, no, no. Bring back the old Coke formula that you addicted us to that started out as having cocaine as an ingredient and then had an unbelievable amount of corn syrup and sugar in it that also addicted us we want that formula back we don't want that new coke and people still call them tweets they don't call them excretions they don't call them uh they don't call them exhibits they don't call them ex-talks. They still call them tweets. Nobody is the king of trying to reinvent the wheel, and I mean that literally, than Elon Muskenberger, because he's

now Jewish. He's gone to Auschwitz. He said he's grown up with Jews. He is Jewish. Him and Ben Shapiro, who are now, Ben Shapiro is now public enemy number one of his former supporters who are not Jewish. They hate Ben Shapiro. He's the ultimate Zionist and they hate him. And as the sides continue to eat each other based on whatever issue comes up, if you sway from the party line a little bit or whatever your talking points are,

that's when you get a window into what kind of maniacs are listening to your show so ben shapiro you're kind of like johnson and johnson in this situation you created a little bit of the fervor amongst your fan base and now you got to clean it up you got to clean it up by giving a lot of your money to educate people. You should, Ben Shapiro should get sued and he has to be able to give money to the governments for Holocaust awareness. Just like these pharmaceutical country countries have to give money for a fentanyl treatment. You get a window, you get a window into the soul of your work when your fans turn on you a little bit then you realize who your fans were or at least a large part portion of them a lot of people are turning on elon musk right now

they're turning on elon musk they're calling him a zionist they're they're they're you know he's he is um starting to crack down on anti-semitic talk here and there, demonetizing people who want to point out that the Jews run the banks. And there's one guy on there who's got a big following. He's a black guy who was going to investigate the tunnels that the Jews were making because he thinks that under there, they have a pedophilia network going on down there.

I don't know. Could be true. Right now, I'm going with the could be true mantra because, listen, I... going on down there i don't know could be true right now i'm going with the could be true mantra because listen i think in time we will find out that i as well as many people were at least a little bit wrong about the COVID vaccines safety. And what I mean by that is all vaccines comes, all vaccines comes with risks, comes with risks. But I think, you know, Johnson and Johnson pulled it after they found like three fat chicks with blood clots. It was like three black, three fat chicks that got some blood clots and they were like, we got to pull this vax. I think there's

probably a lot of other damage out there. And by a lot, I mean, there's probably more than a few that probably had some heart issues or something from the Dern and the Pfizer that it's just, the media is not really reporting. So I think in time, we'll find out that there was a lot of healthy people who probably shouldn't have continued to get vaccines

or maybe even got vaccines in the first place because they had a previous infection. That they didn't consider an infection and a recovery as immune status is really the heart of what will go down as a big mistake. And then, of course, certain mandates that sprung up because of that will also be seen as a problem now i get it overall the vaccine probably had more benefits than bad i don't know but i don't know that either right but probably um overall it probably i understand that they

didn't know i understand that they were trying to end the pandemic. I understand that hospitals were overwhelmed. But you can't overlook pharmaceutical greed, specifically when it comes to wanting to vaccinate everyone, including children six months old. That's when you're going like, hey, what's the success rate for babies, infants, toddlers, and adolescents with COVID?

And they go, oh, it's 99.999999999998. And you're going like, so why should we be vaccinating kids? And then you go, why should we be vaccinating healthy 20-year-olds, especially if they had a previous infection? And then you're going like, perhaps that was pharmaceutical greed. Perhaps. Perhaps. Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps that was a little, a tad much. Maybe I think that'll happen because there are some people out there

and it's probably a small number. Obviously, I think it's a very small number, but like I said, they pull vaccines off the market if it's like 0.0006% dangerous, right? We're going to find that eventually. You're going to find that there was some stuff. And they're just going to say, oh, what can you do? It was a pandemic or whatever.

But it is what it is. I mean, it did happen also with the polio vaccine. Some people got injured. But it's the way they pushed it in the messaging is what my point is. You know, it should have been like, hey, if you have a previous infection, you're good. Getting a booster's up to you. You know, it's a cold, it's a cold virus that constantly mutates. So

what are you going to do? You're going to make a vaccine for every single mutation. You know, every mutation is so specific to, they get down to like X.644321 versus X.5697776. And you're going like, well, the vaccine should cover that and that. And then everyone still gets sick anyway. So you're going like, what are we doing here? The flu vaccine targets one strand they think is going to be the dominant strand. And it usually helps a little bit if the flu is a little different, but people still die. And those people who die are usually the ones most at risk. How is that different from COVID?

The flu vaccine isn't pushed like that. You don't see people saying. Hey everyone get the flu vaccine. So look. I'm admitting. I think it was a little harsh at the beginning. Although at the time. Maybe you could say.

Vaccinated people should have maybe got priority at the hospital over unvaccinated people because the load was so harsh, but probably not. I'm probably wrong about that. So I want to apologize to anyone I harmed, which is nobody. I hope you had fun calling me an asshole, but I'm amending. I'm amending what I thought. I found out about some people I know who've, you know, very few, but people who've had some vaccine injury. So it is what it is, you know?

I'm not at liberty to say who, but it's like hard facts. And you're going like, well, that is an injury. Okay? Didn't kill anyone. But if a person needs a pacemaker and they're young and healthy after they take the second dose of moderna you know because what people don't understand is most people probably do understand so let me not phrase it that way because i'm the one that didn't understand that vaccines aren't bad but it's the they didn't have time to put this thing through

trials and testings and they were guessing the dose. The reason why you got to wait all those weeks is because they don't want to over give you too much. So who's to say, let me explain it. Who's to say that that person who had an adverse reaction to the vaccine might have got a low viral dose, been exposed, got sick, and their immune system would have handled it fine, and then they would have got the antibodies. exposed, got sick, and their immune system would have handled it fine, and then they would have got the antibodies. But instead, they got the vaccine, which was for their system a little too

much, and then they had the adverse reaction. That's how it works. So when they figure out the dose, that's why the child's dose is less and your dose, they're trying to guesstimate what the average person can handle based on whatever metrics they have. I don't know those, but that's what, why sometimes it's too little, too much. And you know, you're trying to get, because if you're exposed to a high viral load, you're going to get sicker than if you're exposed to a little viral load. And then guessing how a person's immune system is going to react, you can't because everyone's got a different constitution. So it's not an exact science and it's never been. So that doesn't mean vaccines are bad.

Vaccines have saved the world from millions and millions and millions of death. But again, these vaccines have had trial after trial after this was rushed out. It was an emergency. I get it. But just the way they still push it, you're putting a healthy football player on there as your spokesperson? You should put someone with one lung up there going, get the vaccine. Trust me, you don't want to take your chances.

You don't want to have Travis Kelsey on there. What's COVID going to do to that guy? Until the new one comes. And there probably will be a new one. China don't like us. You know? And then obviously, eventually, we're going to find out that, you know,

it was a lab leak. I mean, they still haven't found the origin of the virus. It's like, why haven't they found the origin? Because the origin's in a building and it was on someone's glove or in the mouth of a Chinaman. A Chinaman researcher who went out to get his duck soup to bring home to his

traditional Chinese family. So he happened to be around some animals and it wasn't the animals that gave it to him. It was a little payback, right? He gave it to maybe some animals and he gave it to some people. So that's why they haven't found the animal yet like they have with other viruses. that's why they haven't found the animal yet, like they have with other viruses. And they're messing around with a new one too. Like they're still messing around doing this gain of function research to try to get ahead of the cures.

How about just chill? How about just let's see what nature, just see what nature brings up and wait. And just wait, dog. Like I understand the Spanish flu and polio and all these things were nature-made and we were behind the eight ball and we lost some people.

But like, we move quicker now. So let's not mess around. Like, why would you mess around? Just let it happen. We'll lose a couple of people, you know? Most of those people are on the way out anyway. They're in the plane. Most of those people are in the plane.

It's horrible. We don't want to of those people are on the way out anyway. They're in the plane. Most of those people are in the plane. It's horrible. We don't want to lose those people too. But I'm saying, let's stop messing around with nature. Don't mess around with nature because nature is going to mess around back. It don't like us. We're fleas on this thing. You know, ask Texas and fucking and California. But can that be considered a good result of climate change,

that they're both going to flood? Right? Because according to climate change, it brings these crazy weather patterns or whatever. I mean, we haven't, I mean, dude, it has not been cold in New York for like three winters. I mean, even with the snow, you're like, you get one day in the 20s,

and then you're right, we're right. I just have a sweatshirt on. I mean, so I don't know. Climate change is probably a real thing, right? But again, I don't know. I don't study the shit. Well, can't you say, hey, at least it's like giving California water? Like they're about to get flooded. Southern California is getting flooded. There's emergency warnings for California and Texas right now because of the rainfall. And I'm sure climatologists or meteorologists or whatever they're called, zoologists,

will say it's all climate-related. You got to admit, they do say everything's climate-related now. Everything's climate-related. Everything's linked to the climate. They don't want us to drive a car. They don't want to do anything. So a thousand-year storm leaves San Diego reeling from it. That looks like a lot of rain.

But is that fall? You know, New York would handle that rain because we're used to it. Change your infrastructure. But they're not spending any money on that. They're not spending any money on fentanyl. They're there. What they're doing is they're strong arming the drug companies to pay for all these centers and the treatments, which is probably justified. But Senator Schumer is launching his campaign against Zinn because we as a country, and what I mean we as a country, are legislators, are powerful legislators in the legislative branch,

are senators, are beloved senators and congressmen who are our direct representatives. And in in so much as there are direct representatives, that's where democracy is most at play. Really have their priorities straight. People are dropping dead of fentanyl left and fucking right. Our big problem is goddamn fucking drugs. And this guy is pushing for a nicotine pouch crackdown. All it is is nicotine. Nicotine's like caffeine.

Yes, it's addictive, but I mean, yes, it has a little flavor to it. I got one in my mouth right now, okay? So yes, kids enjoy the citrus flavor. Yes, they enjoy the coffee flavor. But guess what? They're going to do it anyway. I was smoking cigarettes anyway.

If I had the option to zin in front of, maybe I would have made my Division I basketball team. If I was able to do that. Kids want to do cool shit, especially if someone in the movies is doing it, or especially if Tucker Carlson's doing it. That guy can't get enough of zin. It's a nicotine pouch.

It gives you a little jolt, like a cup of coffee. Now, yes, do I do it too much? Yes. But nicotine in and of itself is like caffeine. It could be good for you, could be bad for you. But it ain't smoking, dog. So this dude is launching a campaign against zin um for kids um while kids are vaping and smoking and shit like this and they're dropping dead of fentanyl and they're doing drugs and they're getting shot up in their schools um

and the borders there's just fucking people flowing over the border. Just seems like, it seems much to me like Stephen Hawkins visiting Epstein Island, meaning he was my millionth and ninth guess of who was going to be on that list. I had a million and eight people in front of him that I suspected would have taken a trip down there. Stephen Hawkins is probably like the guy I would leave out. I'd be like, well, it's definitely not him. Right?

As far as priority goes, it's kind of like this. Like, Zinn is like my millionth and ninth priority right now as a country. I think we'd put that as million and eight. You could probably argue that it's a really good thing because it's completely tobacco-free and all it is is nicotine. It's delivering you nicotine. No smoking. No smoking and also no tobacco. So the chew stuff has tobacco in it.

That rots your shit. Like, look, it hasn't been studied long-term. Maybe it does some gum damage. Who gives a fuck? It doesn't have the carcinogens of smoking. And what's the difference between this and the gum? And the gum has been proven to do nothing to you. Rich Voss has been taking the gum for 40 years. He's not doing heroin. That's a good thing. He used to do heroin. So yes, it's maybe addicting a few kids, but it's nicotine, dog.

It's not heroin. It's not going to hurt you in that way. You're not going to take us in and then, you know, go rob a toaster. You're going to be addicted to nicotine you'll be addicted to nicotine you'll have a meal and you'll throw one in big deal so i don't know if um this is the opportune time to be talking about zen we need to be talking about either how we're going to stop this ukraine war because we're out of money so we're going to have to um we're going to have to start taxing people's gambling winnings to pay for this ukraine war they're going to have to figure out another way or they're going to have to shake down these drug companies more they're going to have to start taxing people's gambling winnings to pay for this Ukraine war. They're going to have to figure out another way, or they're going to have to shake down these drug companies more. They're going to have to do whatever they need to do. Um, they're going to have to figure out a way to invade and shake down Florida and Texas and make them pay more taxes. You have to do something or maybe just tax, let the drugs in from the cartels and let the gun sales to the cartels happen because they're happening anyway.

So much like prostitution, all this stuff happens anyway. So if you're not going to stop it or regulate it because we're all libertarians or whatever the fuck or everyone's making too much money and then you got the theorists backing the money guys. too much money and then you got the theorists backing the money guys that's what i love about the theorists is they're just going like we're here for the theory free free free no regulation and the money guys are going yeah thank you thank you thank you and they go are you for the theory they go whatever i don't know what you're talking about just make it easy for me to continue to make money so if everyone's going to continue to make money if the gun manufacturers are going to continue to make money if the drug cartels are going to continue to make exorbitant amount of money, those are the two people making money. And the people selling the drugs and the people selling the guns are fine.

They're so fucking fine. It's like the people who start the wars. They're so fucking fine. Alexander the Great was fucking fine. He died of some cold. He didn't die from a fucking missing head from being in the front. Bullshit, he was in the front. I don't buy it one bit.

He told his scribe he was in the front. People die in the front. It's a meat factory up there. Okay? Nobody's in the front. They're in their offices. These gun manufacturers, they're in their offices. They're fine. Their kids go to private school with armed guards or whatever. They're in their offices. These gun manufacturers, they're in their offices. They're fine.

Their kids go to private school with armed guards or whatever. They're fine. The guys at the head of the cartels, they're so fucking fine. You know how long it took us to get El Chapo? And then he still escaped with the help of the whole country. Because everyone's paid off. They're more powerful than the government. They've killed 30,000 people in the last year I think with their American-made weapons now a lot of people don't know that all the drug

cartels all their guns are made in the United States because they can't get guns in Mexico because Mexico has strict gun laws there's like one gun store in Mexico City and that's it you can get a gun but you got to go through all this shit to get a gun. So the cartels go, you know what? We need guns, dude. We got to protect our trade routes against other cartels. And then it becomes a

fucking steroid race. They go, these guys got the M16s? We need the M16s. I don't know what an M16 is. I love doing these podcasts because it's mostly Republican listeners. Let's be honest. All the liberal listeners are listening to whatever Jason Bateman's on. I'm just getting whatever overflows coming from Rogi. Like the rest of us.

So whenever you mention that, there's all these gun enthusiasts who are like, what's an MC? You don't even know. You don't have trigger discipline. You don't even know the laws. And you're completely right. And I agree with you, okay? I'm not riding the line anymore, baby. I'm fucking jumping in the red pond.

But you are a gun owner. I'm a gun owner! You own a gun. I'm also a gun owner, so don't yell at me. Red. Red. And I don't mean red commie. I mean fucking Trump 2024!

You're a gun owner, but you don't own any ammo. I own ammo. You own ammo. I own a fucking ammo. You got ammo? Yeah, I have ammo. And it was easy to get the gun. I had to show my license, have no record.

That's pretty cool. How many bullets do you have? Dude, I got a clip. I got 10 in the clip. So I got 10 in the clip. So I could do 10. I could kill someone with my gun. Now look, the chances are with my gun,

I'm probably going to injure them and not kill them because I don't got the spread or whatever. Have you fired it yet? Yeah, I took it to the ranch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know how to shoot the thing. And if you live in the country, you need a gun. You just, people in the city don't understand that.

Like, you need a gun. I have a whole joke about it in my new hour, which I'm filming a special. Not like it matters. I'll put the clips up. Nobody's going to sit through the whole hour. My hour on YouTube right now, mom loves probably the only hours that you will watch straight through because it's that good, but nobody cares anymore. We're not in that situation right now. There's people selling out who just say, what do you do? And that's fine.

There are a lot of funny people, but nobody's got an attention span more than a minute. Nobody's watching a full special, but if you do want to watch a full special, go watch mom love. And I guarantee you, it's one of the only specials you'll be able to watch straight through. And it's banger all the way through. I'm, I'm,

I'm not, it's the truth. I've heard that from people. I've heard people say that, that your special is the only one I could watch all the way through. You're completely underrated. Yanni. Of course I'm underrated. So I've been sitting here riding the fence. I've been sitting here that, that your special is the only one I could watch all the way through. You're completely underrated, Yanni. Of course I'm underrated because I've been sitting here riding the fence.

I've been sitting here riding the fence hoping that you people appreciate it. I was attacking everybody. You're going for the nuance. I'm going no more nuance for me, baby. I'm hopping in the Tim pool. I'm hopping in the Tim pool fucking pool. I'm hopping in Tim's pool. I'm hopping in the's pool. I'm

hopping in the fucking Candace Owens waters, baby. We gotta do something about these fucking Libby boo-hoos. I've had enough of these fucking libs. These fucking lip tarps, these mental illness. These fucking, there's two sexes. No trans.

Oh, man. I love trans people. I'll never turn my back on trans people, but you know what? These advocates that they had really just, if they would just, just quietly just were trans, just like, you know, just let it happen. Be trans, be hot.

Trans men, I mean, it's funny to me. Let them be trans men. Who cares? I believe in freedom. I don't know anymore. I don't know what I believe. And you know what? It's, I'm happier.

I'm happier to place, I'm open. I'm open to discussion. Send me an article about how it's strictly a mental illness and I'm on that side. And if we want to round them up, if it's going to get me more listeners, I'll round them up because you know, listen, Jason Bateman's got the rest of them. They're over there. They're listening to Dak Shepherd, listening to Jason Bateman. They're locked in. They're over there. They're listening to girl Hatton, whatever it was called broad in. They're over there. They're listening to Girl Hatton, whatever it was called,

Broad City. They're over there, okay? They were with Schumer, then they turned on Schumer as soon as she started becoming a Zionist. So wherever, I'm trying to find a niche here, baby. And by niche,

I just mean a couple more thousand of you to hit that Patreon, patreon.com slash Giannis Papasaur. Once you go there, I will go so fucking wild on here. I will go so fucking wild on here. If I know I got four, I need 4,000 maniacs. I've noticed there's like a few maniacs out there. I'm not going to mention their names,

but they got like an army of like 10 to 50,000 like mentally disturbed people. There's even like another, like if you, there's a space for everyone. But you need to get the word out. Like if I believe in a flat earth, I got to come strong for it. Right? So if I believe in the flat earth, I got to come strong for it. I can't dilly-dally around it.

Right? Because then people are like, eh, this guy's boring. When you go, when you defend the flat earth, then people tune in for the entertainment. You get the schadenfreier, what's it? Schadenfreie? Schadenfreie or Freudenschade. Schadenfreie.

Schadenfreie. You get the schadenfreie viewers who want to see how crazy you are. The car crash effect. You get people checking in going, how crazy is he? And then you get the fucking crazies the hardcore crazies who guess what they got five bucks they got five bucks because they're

stocking shelves at a wawa's so they got five bucks but you got to come hard for it okay if you're definite 9-11 truther you can't go i don I don't know. It's a little fishy. I don't know. Building 7 did fall at free fall speed. It's the only building to fall from a fire ever. Steel frame. But the way it fell, neat. You can't go, I don't know. You got to go, listen.

Did you? Let's go hard into how they did this. And then you get the Freud and Schadenfreude viewers and you get the hardcore maniacs. I think you're using that word wrong. No, well, yeah, no, it's Freud, it's Schadenfreude. Yeah, it's comforting other people's misery. Yeah. But that's what it is.

So I will sometimes check in on. Well, who's miserable, you? No, yeah, they're checking in on me going, this guy's crazy. And they're getting pleasure out of seeing how crazy I am. That's the reason why we like fucking maniacs. You don't tune in for maniacs to agree with them. You tune in to go, what the fuck?

You feel saner. You tune in to feel saner. So it is schadenfreude. Schadenfreude. It's a German word. And of course they would have that word pleasure the misery of others which is just called

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It's so funny how strong they've come out against Israel because they just gotta, they just gotta go, hey, lucky. I mean, Israel could be just like, they could be publicly executing people on Piers Morgan and the Germans look at less and less and say, well, so some things and you have to understand.

You just have to understand. I want to make my position clear on that, okay? Israel's wrong. What's happening? They're bombing the shit out of these people. It's like a genocide. They're killing all these people. But my position is this.

is this. The PLO and Hamas and whatever group has been representing these people has been getting foreign funding from these surrounding Muslim countries who always wanted a bigger Syria. It's called Greater Syria. That's what they want. They always want that whole region to be completely Muslim.

Of course, they don't want the Jews in there. And of course, they don't want the fucking American influence in there. And so they're constantly doing that and trying to win the world opinion, you know, putting a spotlight on the Palestinians who tried to overthrow Jordan as well. And they were kicked out of there. So Jordan said, you can't come in here anymore. And Egypt said, we made peace with Israel, so you can't come in here anymore. And now Saudi's turning their back to them too, because Saudi's going, we're making peace with Israel, so we're not fucking with you either, because we're getting rich.

But these other players like Iran, Yemen, Iraq, wherever these ragtag bunch are, they love the conflict ongoing and to shine the spotlight on Israel to keep fighting them. Now, they got the Palestinians all riled up. We're going to get the land back. My position is you're not. Okay. So now I'm going to remove myself from picking a side and I'm going what they call, what is it? Real politic? Is it expression politic real or real politic? It's like a Latin expression, whatever. Let's just talk.

Even you want to talk Machiavellian, whatever you want to talk. Realistically, it ain't happening. There ain't no River to the Sea happening. There ain't no Jews leaving. It ain't happening. What you should do is put your spotlight on the illegal settlements,

make a deal, find some land or cut a deal with the neighbors and say, hey, we're cool now. We're not going to try to overthrow your country, Jordan. You got a lot of land. Let us go there. What are we going to do? So we're only going to have the spotlight. The Palestinians need to. What's the end result that everyone's chanting for? They think they're going to go back. It ain't going to happen. Is it wrong? Yeah. Was it wrong when the Turks kicked out the Anatolian Greeks? Yeah. And the Anatolian Armenians? Yeah. And the Anatolian Kurds? Yeah. And the list can go on and on and on and on and on and on and on about people who were displaced in population exchanges that happened. Was it

wrong when Turkey invaded Cyprus and kicked out all the Greeks in northern Cyprus? Yeah. The population exchanges, people had to leave their homes, they were living in hundreds of years? Yeah. But innocent people stopped dying. So if you want innocent people to stop dying, you can't support this endless protest about the Israelis. They ain't going anywhere. Keep trying it. There'll just be more terror attacks and then more

responses. And guess who's got the bigger bombs? So if you want innocent Palestiniansestinians to stop dying the best bet is to probably go all right we got to get these foreign influences out um and be like what's best for us because the iranians in iran are fine they ain't they're just funding they ain't getting bombed right now so it's like the bombs are falling on you dog so again this is not a right or wrong thing it's like and don't give me they tried that it's all you know there's a way to sway yes i think the jews want the whole thing and yes the illegal sediments come and encroach more and more and more and more but i think there's a way to win

the world's support to condemn that which has been done in the past when they took a, remember when the Israeli government evacuated Gaza and ripped up all those settlements and forced the Jews back? Like there's ways to win public support about like, all right, so what is going to be ours now? And then you can win the public support and like, hey, we want to control our own shit. And then I guarantee you, if you start you start fucking stop launching bombs things will go better one day maybe the whole thing will be fucking unified and you'll join the other two million arabs that are living there be hard at this point you know because there's so much trauma and so much anger and people's relatives die to be hard but the ball's been kicked so far

down the road now that maybe that's impossible i don't know but i'll tell you what's not working it ain't this it ain't working for the palestinians it never has it never will and that's my point it never will it never will they ain't leaving dog they got a full country there and if you're gonna say the the we we should repatriate the palestinians then what are you going to do with all the jews but then again so then let's repatriate all the greeks in an anatoly let's resettle every person that was in every place because what you're ignoring is how the world works it's not a question of morality it's a question a question of strength how every border was formed was people got fucking kicked out and the new people came in

what are you going to do it shouldn't happen anymore but this is one of the fucking conflicts that goes back and then they go oh well the jews were there thousands of years ago so now it's a question of time so wait so the muslims who also conquered and expanded there they were there what 400 a thousand so they who gets to stay based on the year? We're going to do that based on the years? So let's give back the whole United States to the fucking, let's give the whole thing back right now to natives. And the natives got to give it back to the buffalo that they killed.

I mean, what do you want me to do? We're animals. We act exactly like animals. We conquer territory. We fucking usurp it. And then it is what it is. And you hope that at some point people stop that and start listening to laws and international laws. But international law is impossible to enforce because of religion and culture.

So my argument is actually for the interest of the Palestinians, the innocent Palestinians, not the Hamas and PLO, who've led them astray because the PLO and the Hamas is working at the pest of other countries that want to keep this shit going to keep the spotlight on there. So the using the Palestinians as pawns for their greater Syria plan and to get the influence of Israel and America out of the middle East. If you look at the middle East, it's all Arab and then one little thing.

And they're like, we got to get, get that out. So it's like, and they ain't going. And if you try to take them out, they're going to kill you. You know, they got shit. And yeah, it's American backed. It is what it is.

Just like the Palestinians are backed by Iran and whatever else. I mean, what are we going to do? It's the innocent people your heart goes out to because they're just pawns in this. Hamas, they're just going, and they're just, we're going to heaven or whatever. And they're fighters, so they're fighting. They know they're going to die. And these innocent people with families or whatever,

I mean, I understand the plight because I come from that plight. But my family doesn't continue to go. We're going to return to Turkey, which is now Turkey. Turkey didn't exist. People go, oh, Israel never exists. Like Turkey didn't exist. Turkey didn't exist.

It was the Ottoman Empire. And guess what? The Ottoman Empire was multicultural. There was fucking tons of Greeks out there. There was tons of fucking Kurds and Armenians and all these different tribes in the Ottoman Empire. And guess what happened when the young Turks, I don't know why they named that fucking show

to young Turks, by the way, because the young Turks fucking are responsible for 1.5 million Armenians fucking dead. And they're responsible for fucking 1.5 or a million Greeks fucking kicked out of their homes that they lived in for thousands of years or at least hundreds and hundreds and hundreds, which was my family.

My Greek family lived in what is now Turkey. That's why my DNA, a little mixing going on in there with these mice. See, but that's a lot better than bloodshed. The Greeks and Turks hate hate each other they may for another thousand years but currently there's zero people getting killed even in cyprus that is illegally occupied according to the greeks i think most people think it's legally occupied i don't remember what the international consensus is on it but it was it was after world war ii the greeks got it back and then turkey just invaded it

right and in the settlement they got my dad's island imbros and they got one other island that because of the strategic location of the fucking where it was located with the where the ships could pass through whatever go google it but i'm right i just can't maybe it's the red sea or whatever i don't know one of those seas and so they took those two, and the Greeks agreed, and they hated it. So all the Greeks there were persecuted. Most of them left. There's like 10 Greeks left on Imbros. It's not even called Imbros anymore.

It's called some stupid sandy name. And I can say, you know, with the freaking things above the letter, something like that. Okay? But nobody's dying. And then the Turks and the Greeks here, we laugh about it. Because I don't care. I'm American now. And the Greeks and Greeks go, they hate them.

But, like, nobody's dying. So if you really want people to die, this whole thing about, like, the morality chance and all that, I guess it's good to kind of raise awareness. But what are you raising awareness about? You're raising awareness about what? Repatriating these people? Get real. Get real.

It ain't happening. Anyway, I'm never talking about it again. I just wanted to make my position clear. Is my position clear? That's pretty clear, right? Did I leave anything out? In a couple years, we're all going to be talking like this,

mimicking our dictator who is going to win by a lands mimicking mimicking our dictator who is going to win by a landslide your next president will be donald j trump is that his middle initial he's gonna it's gonna steamroll he's steamrolling in right through the legal system nikki haley recently said after the new hampshire primary, this race is not over. I want to go like this. Does anyone object? I beg to differ, sweetheart.

It's over. It was over before it started. You're just an NIT team in the NIT tournament. You're 16th ranked Western Kentucky. You're Western Kentucky playing Kentucky in the first round of the tournament. Maybe you made the tournament. She's not NIT. The rest of those guys were NIT.

She's a 16th seed in March Madness going against a Blue Blood powerhouse. And it's over. You ain't beating Tennessee. You ain't beating Kansas Jayhawks. You're up against the Kansas Jayhawks because his hair looks like a Jayhawk. And I think they tried to slide a lot of those Democrats to re-register as independents,

so she got a lot more votes. Because I was watching some interviews with them and they were like, yeah, you know, I don't like her reproductive rights stuff, whatever. But this, this was a bulwark against maybe putting Trump in office. I wouldn't vote for her in a general election. You're going, that's weird. So you voted in the Republican primary, but you wouldn't vote for her in a general election.

So who are you going to vote for in the general election if it's just her and Biden? So are you a Republican? Because most Republicans are just going to fall in line and vote for Donnie T because they believe in abortion and whatever. The abortion thing is going to hurt him. That's the one thing that may hurt him. So the Democrats, it would behoove you if you want to win. See, now I'm doing that impartial thing

that people don't like. Listen, listen, Democrats, keep Democrats, keep playing the save our democracy card. It's working. Keep, keep doing the, he's going to be a dick there. Keep trying to scare, keep, keep trying to scare people. What kind of threat he is to democracy because that ad pitches seems to be working in spades people are so frightened that this guy is going to overrun the system and never leave office it's it just seems to be working it's really dwindling his support so don't go with your board don't focus on the women's rights don't focus on uh him not fulfilling his promises that he made to his own base and him being ineffectual. Is that a word? Don't focus on his resistance to newer energies, whatever.

Whatever it is, don't do that. Continue to focus on January 6th. Continue to focus on him being a threat to our democracy. Because that messaging is polling huge. And make sure you have Biden deliver it. Make sure Biden delivers it. Make sure Biden and not Gavin Newsom. Gavin Newsom.

I mean, talk about a sociopath with charisma that'll make you believe anything. Dude, he could go up there and do my act. And I'll be like, you know what? Devin Newsome, I mean, talk about a sociopath with charisma that'll make you believe anything. Dude. Dude, he could go up there and do my act, and I'll be like, you know what? This guy's hilarious. It doesn't matter. American psycho. Because here's the thing.

Nobody's got everything. So there's a lot of people. You got a lot of charm. You're not going to be original. The great Paulie from Uncle Paulie's Deli, my favorite sandwiches in the Los Angeles, I think now Vegas as well, they've opened up one,

told me a long time ago, Uncle Pauly told me, the universe is balanced. You're never going to find a guy with oozing, oozing, unbelievable, silly charisma, and he's going to be an unbelievable,

creative comedian. He's going to be stealing! And delivering it his way with his fucking beautiful, it's just nobody's got everything. And then you're going to have the guys who write incredible who get on stage and are just like, they lean up against the wall and they're like,

son, let me tell you about what's going on with this. Great joke. And people are just going, ugh, I can't look at this guy. It's usually one or the other, you know? It's usually, that's why Robin Williams need to steal. That's why Robin Williams needed to steal. That's why Carlos Menzies needed to steal.

Because the inspiration comes from looking at other. It doesn't come from within because they got no takes. They don't have a soul. They don't care. They don't know what they feel about anything. So it's just whatever. Andavin newsom is that guy look at him first off movie looks he's tall i mean this guy could sell his own grandmother her money from her purse back that he stole for drugs he'll be able to sell he'll be able to sell it back to her.

He'll be like, look, I got $100 for sale. And he'd be able to tell her, I took $100 from your purse to buy for drugs, and now I want to sell you back the $100 for another $100. She will end up paying $200 for his $100 back, and she'll end up hugging him and apologizing to him. That's the kind of charisma this guy has. Why he's not running right now as opposed to the guy that looks like him from the future.

And it's not a great future. And when I mean future, I mean right at the end. The future towards the end. Him on his deathbed. His deathbed, dude. And then with the vice president, probably the lowest polling vice president of all. She's less likable than

fat calves I mean is there a more invisible moronic unlikable vice president who plays the race card but then you look at her record and all she wanted to do was lock up black people for smoking weed

all she did was fucking throw the book at black dudes with a blunt she was the most vicious conservative fucking district attorney and she just go on what did she say the path remember we did that thing yeah that was right doesn't dictate our future right made no. That's why they keep her invisible, because whenever she talks, she makes no sense. Present doesn't mean we're going to be the future. I mean, the Democrats have really, the Democrats are the Golden State Warriors right now.

It's time to play with the rotation a little bit. Steve Kerr, you're the head of the DNC. You're a legend, okay? I don't know if it's Wasserman. Who's the DNC chick now? Is it still Wasserman? Again, I want to talk to my fans. Star David!

You know, we could slap on Wasserman, a big old Star David! Who's the head now? Jamie Harrison, it's not Wasserman anymore? Yeah, I never heard of her. Who knows? Who jamie harrison it's not washington anymore yeah i never heard of her who knows who cares yeah it's jamie harrison yeah jamie harrison one of these people who have all the power and they're behind the scenes that nobody knows about and everyone just thinks it's the biden crime family i mean he they just roll him out there you know um so jamie what was i saying to jamie yeah jamie is steve kerr right now and the golden state warriors are not doing good with their current rotation of geriatrics these guys had their time

steve uh stefan is still doing his thing clay we want to get him down to about 20 minutes and we want to see we want to see some of these young guys. Maybe make a little trade at the deadline. A little trade at the deadline, get some juice in there, baby. There ain't no other conference championship with this current rotation from 2012. You got your, what do they got, four chips or five? Four. They got four chips.

They got four chips. Yeah, they got four chips. They got four chips with this rotation, two with Durant, two without. They lost one when they had that unbelievable season where they broke the Bulls record, right? Dominated. Dominated the league. You guys dominated the league.

But right now, you know, Joey Biden is clay, and I love clay. Joey Biden is clay time. You clay. Joey Biden is clay. You know, the thing is a lot of these people that watch, they're, you know, they're not basketball fans. That would help if I was on,

um, Charlemagne's podcast, this would help if I was on flagrant too, right now, this analogy would work, but the people who listen to this podcast are overweight whites and conservative Hispanics who are fed up.

I don't know who my demographic is. And a couple of fucking crazy ladies. A couple of crazy ladies who just like that I'm a family guy. I don't know. I don't know who's listening. I'm trying to do market research. But anyhowsers, that I'm a family guy. I don't know. I don't know who's listening. I'm trying to do market research. But anyhowzers,

there is very few differences between Gavin Newsom and Patrick Bateman. Yo, cuz. Looks exactly like him, too. He's an American psycho. Yeah, he's an American psycho. Get fucking, get him up there in his Armani suits.

Get him up there and watch him explain away why he was, look at that. Let him explain why when watch him explain away why he was, look at that. Let him explain why when everyone was masked up, he was fine dining in a closed restaurant.

French Linger, the best restaurant on the planet. Yeah, the best restaurant on the planet. Just let him explain it. And dude, guess what? When he's done explaining, I'll be like, look, he's got a lot of points.

Yeah, yeah. I watched him debate. The dude is good. Biden's just going, I'm telling you. I'm telling you. Look at that. Yeah. watched him debate uh the dude is good why are you just going up and then you get rid of his son you just get rid of that whole mess with his laptop and his phone you just get rid of it because listen the people forget as soon as he's out they forget they forget like when hillary clinton disappeared they forgot that her campaign paid for that phony

dossier it's not even look nancy's kind of a way right did nancy retire yeah right before she retired she made a huge you know fucking stock buy um pull it up yahoo news nancy pelosi oh yeah she had a nvidia calls yeah and fucking made, and you know what? She did a strategic thing. She sold a lot when all that heat was coming down. They were trying to pass that Pelosi law, right? Where like it was a bipartisan bill,

but it was being pushed by the Republicans. And she just managed to lose. She was like selling and losing money to take the heat off her. And then when the story died down, she fucking was right back in there. You know, that's what happened. You're right back in there selling out theaters baby nothing could stop any allegations here's joey mumbles joey marbles mouth all right we couldn't get joey mumbles gone but you know what it is

um okay two points i know a lot of people are going to say, hey, the cartel gets all these American firearms illegally. And I'm sure that that's true. I don't think there's a legal transaction happening with the cartel, but they are getting the guns somehow. And those guns are being manufactured in America. And the gun manufacturers who are making those guns are making a profit off of selling those guns to someone. So one could reasonably say, hey, why don't we find a way to crack down on however that shit is happening? But that would mean less profits

to those manufacturers and less sales. And they are in the capitalist system and they care about their bottom line. They have a board. They have shareholders that they are in the capitalist system, and they care about their bottom line. They have a board. They have shareholders that they are responsible to, and they need to see sales up. A lot of people don't think about that. Those companies need to see increasing sales every year.

There's no end to up capitalism. So they have no financial interest in stopping the cartels from purchasing these guns from whatever black market the people who did buy them legally and then lost trace of them are whatever's happening they have no interest in stopping now what happens as a result of these guns the all they do they're probably rationalizing and going, hey, they just kill each other on the other side of the border, right? Which they're doing, which they're mostly doing. You know, it's usually happening more in Mexico.

That's true, bro. But what it does enable is if the drugs are flowing across the border that way very easily and there's probably some sort of two-way there's probably a two-way thing going on where we go okay well you're we need those but we need those in order to send those so you guys somebody's looking the other way to let those in right and there's somebody in the comments going yeah it's a Biden crime family right now I don't think this is something that's administration specific I think this is a bucket of money people like making moolah

so there's probably some deal going like the guns come this, but also then that means the only reason we need the guns is to allow the drugs to flow that way. And somebody on the other side is going, kum se kum sa. So there is a way to stop this, but nobody really has a financial interest in doing that on our side. And what I mean by nobody,

I mean the gun manufacturers and the politicians who get some benefits here and there, a little restaurant, whatever, a little trip, a little under the counter money. Sometimes those benefits, if you use our good friend Menendez,

Senator Menendez, sometimes they come in gold bars. Sometimes it's gold, which he is now claiming was searched illegally. That's his only thing. He can go, hey, this was an illegal search. It's my gold. What are you doing coming to my house?

Mexico has proceeded with a $10 billion lawsuit against these certain U.S. gun manufacturers after a federal appeals court ruled that the claims made by Mexico are exempt from a law that typically protects the companies from liability. Mexico alleges that the manufacturers include Smith & Wesson, some of the old good classics. Smith & Wesson, Colt, and Glock contribute to a rise in arming Mexican drug cartels.

There's been an estimate of over half a million weapons. That's a lot of weapons. 500,000 weapons trafficked across the border each year. And the weapons companies just going like this, hey, we're not doing it. We're not doing it. We make the guns and then we support the legislation that goes like this.

Hear no evil, see no evil, baby. Hear no evil, say no evil, speak no evil, sweetheart. We're not doing anything. We make the sales. And then we lobby to make sure that nobody looks too hard about what happens after the sales. That's all we do.

Their stock's down a little bit. Not too much, right? Not just today. Not too much. Yeah, just a little bit. Not too much, right? Not just today, not too much. Yeah, just a little bit. It'll fly back up. Yo, when another gang war happens, it'll fly right back up. You know, the irony is,

is the stock soars after a school shooting, right? Because that's when people buy more guns. So they also have no interest in, no financial interest in stopping it. I'm just saying financial interest. Like if you're, they're not stupid, dude. They look at their numbers. Whenever there is a mass shooting,

people get scared and buy more guns. So they have no, I'm not saying whether they could stop it and I'm not saying anything. I'm just telling you a fact. They look at the paper and they go oh they're not stupid they don't go they don't see the jump and they don't go it's like getting uh having a pacemaker put in a day after you got the Moderna vaccine and the doctors go we don't know what caused this you're otherwise healthy people aren't stupid you're going oh it must have been the second dose of the Moderna, right?

The executives of these gun manufacturing companies aren't, like right after a massive front news, good old slaughter at a school, they don't look at their numbers and go, wow, gun sales shot up. It must be the movie Top Gun. They don't do that. They're pretty aware of what increases their sales. Now, that doesn't mean that they want them to happen, but they also are aware that they make more money when they do.

That's a fact you can't argue, my friends, and that's what we give you here on the YP Hour. And you interpret it. I'm not interpreting it. I'm telling you the financial forces at play. That's all I'm telling you. A lot of you out there, not very many of you listening to this podcast,

but a few of you may be worried about Trump taking over the country and not letting it go. But don't you worry, because Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show But a few of you may be worried about Trump taking over the country and not letting it go. But don't you worry, because Jon Stewart is back at The Daily Show, and he is going to stop it. He is going to stop Donald Trump. He's coming in as a producer, and he's taking over as a part-time host on Monday nights. Everyone will be tuning in to hear Jon Stewart back at it, which lets you know one thing.

His show at Apple sucked and it failed. He had some good moments, but he's really become sort of like a detached... He's gone very left. He's kind of bought in a lot to the DEI bullshit, which it is. It's fucking bullshit. And so I'm interested to hear what he says.

But obviously, you know, there could have been a backroom. You know, Obama could have called him on the bat phone. Obama called John on the bat phone. He said, John, you got to get your, it's like the, it's like MacGyver. They call him, he's in the hills. He's on his farm. You know, he's on a farm with all these animals with his wife talk about being pussy whipped, he's taking care of animals is that what you really love to do?

go out there and farm with pigs in Jersey they're on their animal sanctuary first he started getting the itch, he's like this is bullshit I'm doing this for my girl he's going like yeah no, I'm totally into retiring I'm totally into retiring and taking care of orphan pigs. Sounds fun. Let's take them all in. Another orphan pony? Great. Is there another mule? Is there another mule that nobody has any use for? Bring them into my house. I'll pay for all their hay and we'll just take care of them all day. And then he did that for

like two years. He's like, I got the itch, baby. I got to go back to fucking, I got to go back to, I got to throw on my liberal Batman costume and go back out there as Batman, you know? I'm MacGyver, dog. They need me. I'm that special agent living in the woods. And another problem, I'm Rambo. It's basically Rambo, right?

He's left-wing comedy Rambo. And they're saying, John, we need you you so Obama came and visited him at the farm he put on the rubber boots and they walked together around the farm in rubber boots stepping in manure and shit and Johnny baby we need you baby we need you back

the threat is bigger this time the big red machine's coming again. And Orange Man is stronger than ever. And you have to defeat the villain. She's like, I don't know. I'm retired. Barack, I'm retired. Okay, I did that Apple thing.

I got a little bored for a second, but then I realized, no. My life now is horse manure and pig shit. There's orphan kitties out there that need us. They need me. That's not my game anymore. I left that game long behind. And then he gives his arthritic hand.

It's not the same as it was. And then he just cut the jump cuts of him doing curls, getting his muscles, getting on the stage, fumbling a couple lines, getting strong now. Reading the paper. Yeah, reading the paper. New Yorker opens up, bump, bump, bump, Huffington Post, his old producers come back, John, he calls his team together, Rory Albanese, boom, you're back back what have you been doing hey man i just been

traveling the world uh bonin romanian prostitutes on the down low back in sorry rory i don't know why i cast you as that guy we need you back tepper bar whatever boom we need you back all the jewish writers come back boom boom boom boom boom we need you back all the jewish writers come back boom boom boom boom boom we need you back uh the light-skinned black guy that had the um problem with him who accused him of racism what's his name forget his name we need you back let's squash the beef high five oh no high five let's do our magic lebron handshake boom it's all back why it's a why it's an act we need you back i don't know man you're racist john there's no blacks on the thing do our magic LeBron handshake. Boom. It's all back. Why a snack? Why a snack? We need you back.

I don't know, man. You're racist, John. There's no blacks on the thing. Guess what? Guess what we just hired? We just hired Yamanika Sanders. It's on, baby. Roy Wood?

My co-host. He's still on the list. Michael Kosta beat it. Michael Kosta fucking beat it. Take your long fucking white pretend to be liberalbe-liberal ass out of here. Go back to swatting tennis rockets in the Midwest. Talking to your fucking Trump-loving family. You're out.

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