Yannis Pappas Hour - Headed to Miami Gardens - Long Days with Yannis Pappas - Episode 9

Episode Date: February 28, 2021

Every Sunday Comedian Yannis Pappas is here to give you a LONG DAY! He's going to attack the headlines and the trending bull. He's also going to answer questions from the fans live on air. For bonus episodes and to Support LongDays click here: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdays The show goes out every Sunday at noon to youtube and audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram! Come join in on the LONG DAY.   This ep explores Madonna’s fight against the crippling patriarchy. Yanni has a new tv show idea called Headed To Miami Gardens and much much more!    Follow Yanni   Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's the S? If I was from Asia, I would say, what? Welcome to Long Days with Yanni. Yanni, Long Days, we are in the building. I was just thinking about one of the greatest Staten Island performers of all time, Iman. What happened to you, dude? You know, I remember it was like 2010, he had that song.

Fuck all that shit, it don't mean jack. Fuck all that shit, bitch, I don't remember it was like 2010 he had that song fuck all that shit it don't mean jack fuck all that shit bitch i don't want you back oh oh oh i don't know that was back in the day when probably you could rip it on napster listen to it for free we're in the building right now guys we are up on itunes very important We've also adjusted the microphone because we've heard your cries. This is a direct democracy. You get to leave your comments. You could talk about my glasses. You can say, hey, those are women's glasses.

You could say, hey, the microphone's blocking your face. You could say, Yanni, you need to get an operation to separate your eyes a little farther. You can say whatever you want, okay? You can call me fat. You can call my head a fucking peanut head. You can say whatever you want. Okay. You can call me fat. You can call, call my head a fucking peanut head. You can do whatever we want and we will address it. I will enlarge my head. I will get surgery. I will get a sex change. Whatever's going to make you happy. I will do. You said move the mic and guess what? We figured out all we had to do was move the mic.

So apologies for the first eight episodes where the mic was blocking my face because all we had to do was move the mic. So apologies for the first eight episodes where the mic was blocking my face because all we had to do was this. Jesse goes, oh yeah, people were joking about the mic. And then we just go, oh yeah, let's just do that. I thought that's what we were going for though. Yeah, I thought we were going for the half a face look. I think we were going for the villain in Batman look.

What was his name? Two-Face. D-A, Two-Face. Two-Face. Two-Face. Two-Face. So we're up on iTunes. So please go rate and review and subscribe on iTunes

as soon as you see this because iTunes pushes new shows to the top to give new shows a chance. So that'll be very great if you go and do that and subscribe. We got Drew in the building

as per usual. Drew's throwing gang signs. He's had a couple of coffees. He walked in. Me and Jesse thought he was on cocaine and Adderall. And then we remembered, oh no, he's just 23 and we're a couple of 40-year-old guys. And when I say 40, it's just, you stop counting after 40. Nobody says you're exact. You don't tell anyone your exact age when you cross 40. You just say, I'm a 40-year-old guy, and I will be a 40-year-old guy until I go into the grave. They'll be like, that's sad. That's sad. We just buried a 40-year-old 87-year-old because I will be 40 from this point on. I'm at the age where I threw my shoulder out throwing my ball to my dog. Drew has been taking photos of models and he's wearing a 1200 shirt so he is 23 that's what that

is guys i have been i have been going hard on clubhouse okay clubhouse is the shit follow me on clubhouse this is where i talk to my people and lead my cult followings. Go follow me on Clubhouse for the chance for me to have sex with your wife. That's the top level of what I'm doing, okay? Every night, almost every night, I'm doing a little seminar teaching you on how you can better improve yourself and put other people on it. So follow me on Clubhouse at Giannis Pappas. Here's the thing. Clubhouse is not even being promoted as the only social media platform

that you can safely do while driving, okay? There's been a lot of people who've gotten to accidents doing Instagram, checking their Twitter, checking their texts, checking their emails, Googling what a platypus is whatever you do while you're driving whatever you know i haven't seen a red light turn green in six years i don't know you're at a red light if you don't reach for your phone you're a psychopath at red the only time i know when it's time when the light turns green is when the guy honks behind

me and tells me it's time to go otherwise i'm just sitting at a red light waiting for it to change. So yeah, they should promote clubhouses. Hey, would you like to drive and talk to your followers at the same time? You're goddamn right you were because this is 2021. You got to do more. You got to build your fucking brand, okay? You can't just be sitting around waiting for things to happen to you. You got to start it. Build your brand. What is it? What's your brand? Figure it out on Clubhouse.

Then go across platforms and promote. Create who you are. Stop trying to be you. You are boring. But if you lie, anyone could be exciting. All you have to do is Jessica, sorry, that is my apartment building farting. Why are people doing heavy work while we record? Don't be yourself. Do not be yourself. You're boring. Create who you're going to be.

Create who you are going to be. Jessica La Bumbayera it. You have to, we can't fucking record during this. What is that? Okay, somebody, as you know, as you know, we are always going live on Instagram as I am recording this live for however many people want to check it out, however many people are unemployed

and don't have to go to work, however many people are working from home and are never going back because make no mistake, their bosses are not going to be paying that commercial real estate fee anymore. The world is about to change. The Chinese have won. Let's move there and surrender together. It's over.

Jeffrey Epstein did die of COVID. He died of conspiracy of vicious international deceivers. COVID. Jeffrey Epstein did die of COVID. Yes, commercial real estate will never be the same. Before you know it, there will be young artists living in what used to be Chase Bank. It's going to happen. They're going to turn law offices into fun condos for what is the generation after millennials nihilists that's what i'm going to call you you guys don't believe in anything and you're tattooing your face and you're making tiktok videos selling me fucking energy drink i don't want it i don't want you to date my daughter you're doing something that is horrific and it's the chinese who are dictating

it and pulling the strings you're're all Manchurian candidates. Stop fucking dancing. Put the fucking phone down and sit still and learn how to speak a second language and make sure that second language is Chinese. Stop dancing. It's the same dance over and over again. We need to storm the Hype House.

I've said it once. I'll say it a million times. It's gotta end. It's got to end. Here's the thing. What is your fucking brand? Who are you? Not who you are. Do you got me?

Don't be who you are. Jessica La Bumbayera it. That's the adjective that needs to go. Jessica Bumbayera, if you don't know who she is, Jessica Bumbayera was, she kind of got upstaged by Rachel Dolezal because Rachel Dolezal was the big story, but Jessica La Bumbayera was the better story because she's got the funnier name. She called herself Jessica La Bumbayera. And so she was Jessica Krug, who was a white girl who was born in the suburbs, I believe, of St. Louis, a wealthy suburb. And then she got a job teaching African-American studies at George Washington University.

George Washington University, by the way, hired two professors who were pretending to be different people. So you get the gold medal, George Washington. You're doing it. Whoever walks in and said, if I walk in and I was like, yo, what's up? Yeah, I mean, what's going on, yo? So what's up? My name is Jenkins Jenkins. Yeah, I mean, and so I wanted to teach a class, you know, growing up in the hood, you're hurt. So, you know, I mean, I'm from the projects down there in Farragut, down there in Brooklyn I want kids to really know I want to teach this class on Tupac's musicology and poetry

You're hurt And they're like, are you sure you're African American? What the fuck you talking about, son? You know what I mean? You questioning me, dog? I'm fucking light-skinned here What you talking about? My fucking father, my mother had an affair with my father, yo, my father, my father was a real light-skinned motherfucker, what you

talking about, son, you trying to be racist with me and shit, give me the fucking class, I'll write a book, you know what I mean, fucking Jessica LaBombayera's up in there, and HG Carrillo. So these are my two favorite. George Washington has my two favorite. His name was, I think, HG Carrillo, right? HG Carrillo. Can you look him up, Drew? I don't know that one. HG Carrillo was a black dude from Detroit who invented a persona and wrote books

and was revered as a Afro-Cuban refugee who swam here on his tita's back from Cuba. So he just lived as a Afro-Cuban refugee who swam here on his tita's back from Cuba. So he just lived as a Cuban dude for like 40 years and then he died and then it was revealed that he was just a black dude named Jenkins from Detroit. I love the name Jenkins. Jesse knows that I always love the name Jenkins. Jenkins is just a great name.

H.G. Carrillo. And his real name was like Dennis, which is my favorite. Jessica Krug. HG Carrillo. And his real name was like Dennis, which is my favorite. Jessica Krug. I mean, create who you want to be. These people are not charlatans. They are pioneers.

They are pioneers in this era where you need to create a story, a struggle. Here it is. Let me explain the reality to you people. We are living at a time of unprecedented comfort enabled by the amenities of modernity. And you can tell how free you are based on how free you are to complain. That's the irony of it.

The more you complain, the free you are. The more you complain, the freer you are ain't nobody complaining about the current climate in China China they can't you can't just walk to CCP headquarters and be like you know what turn on our internet then you get disappeared you get disappeared so that's the irony of it is the freer you are, the more you complain about your lack of freedoms because you're free too. So that is where we're at now. Create who you are online. Become your fucking avatar. Are you listening to me? Build your brand. I don't want to see a profile pic of you and your dog. Not good enough. Tell a story, okay?

You rescued that fucking dog. You rescued that dog from a water pit, oil pit, right outside of Compton. It's not a pit bull, but call it a pit bull. I don't give a shit if it's a tiny little fucking shih tzu poodle. Call it a pit bull. Say you're a pit bull lover. People say that's not a pit bull. You go, you fucking racist against pit bulls.

You're fucking discriminating. Why don't you move to Miami where they have pit bulls? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Put me on notice, okay? Put me on fucking notice. And then you tell me that you rescued that pit bull and you sell that story to Dodo and they post it. you that pipple and you sell that story to dodo and they post it i am only watching dog rehabilitation videos from now on that's all i'm watching no more covid news please can somebody put dr fauci in a

fucking sports sock and throw him in a draw stop giving interviews to the media and telling us that even after we're vaccinated, we're going to have to fucking put a mask over all of our orifices. That's not what people want to hear. And then there's another guy, John Hopkins, saying, oh, there's a steep decline at 77% going down. Here's some of the good news. And Fauci goes, no, let's not celebrate victory yet. Why don't you shut the fuck up, you little tiny sauce monkey from Long Island? The one good thing about Fauci, I'll say, is he keeps saying opposite stuff

and he's a doomsday little munchkin. He's a little, he comes, he pops up like the Groundhog Day and he says, it's gonna be a bad season. COVID's still here. It's like he pops up, he goes COVID's still here. It's like he pops up, he goes up, still COVID. You get vaccinated, still can't go to the movies, still can't go outside. And the advantage to that is if you want to cancel plans, you can just tell people you were exposed to someone who got exposed to COVID.

Okay. I actually canceled plans twice with the same person saying I got exposed to COVID again. They were like, didn't you just have it? I was like, no, I didn't have it. I was exposed to it. I don't know if I have it. So I have to quarantine for seven days. Your party's in that seven day period. I can't make it. I apologize. That's the thing. You can keep doing it because you don't have to get COVID. Don't ever tell them you catch COVID. See, because I had COVID, but I don't tell certain people I had it. So they just think there's a possibility I could have it we'll find out in seven days

I'm gonna miss your party it's a great excuse to get out of shit telling people you were exposed to somebody who has COVID is a great excuse to get out of fucking seeing them what were you gonna say Drew? well yeah

HG Pat Eagle his real name Herman Herman Glenn Carroll named himself into HG Carrillo where he wrote exotic Cuban novels or something and didn't go discover till he died Jessica La Bumbayera wrote about six books as a black woman now here's the thing if you get away with pretending you're black for let's say a decade you win people even if they find out you're not black should be required by law to be like you got us dog you're black 10 years she got away with it see the thing that's less impressive about her than hg carrillo was because he had to like invent like a he had to like invent an accent and shit so that's harder jessica la bombayera if you're a white girl with a fat ass you can kind of always claim to be

light-skinned and black guys can't really it's like the yankee pinstripes they say you always lose to the yankees because you can't get past staring at the pinstripes if you're a white chick pretending to be black black dudes won't notice as long as you got a fat ass they can't see past that fucking fatty if that girl thick girl you could tell him your name is Tanisha Karen and they won't notice y'all hurt yeah I mean that's just what it is you hurt uh I'm just uh you know I want to put out my mixtape you hurt and like you know I I mean that's just what it is you hurt uh I'm just uh you know I want to put out my mixtape you hurt and like you know what I mean I'm gonna be yo what happened to guys selling mixtapes they're upset right now because there's no tourists there's no comedy and also who's upset right now is bedbugs bedbugs are like yo where the fuck are these dudes in hotels bedbugs are

just sitting on the bottom of mattresses just holding on fucking starving right now these kids haven't eaten they look like somalian children thin thin like paper waiting for a swedish backpacker to show up and be like oh this is nice i'm staying in time square hi y'all how you yeah how are you, Jane? It's me. It's me, Klee Sehorsen. And I'm in Times Square here in this nice hostel. Oh, it's nice. A lot of black guys here. So what happened?

You got bed bugs here? Oh, so bad. But it was worth it to go to Times Square. I went to the comedy cellar. Yeah, I saw nice comedians there. So bed bugs are freaking starving as as well and you know who's starving for attention madonna madonna madonna can you pull up her social media purse drew go to her instagram so madonna has had it madonna has fucking had it okay Madonna, who at this point I think is 62, she looks like, Madonna looks like

a version of herself in Madame Tussauds at this point. If Madonna stood next to the wax Madonna in Madame Tussauds, you would not know who is who. Go to her post about the patriarchy. Yeah, I mean, she looks like a drag queen. She looks like her demographic now. It looks like one of her fans jumped up out of the audience and got on stage. She looks like she's being performed at a Chinese restaurant in the East Village. If Madonna walked in and started performing Madonna songs, somebody would go up to her and be like, what's up, Jerry? You're really looking like a bitch tonight. You're really pulling it it off she looks like a drag queen mama but here's the deal hang it up madonna hang it up you're 60 what is she 62 64 she's up there i mean you know she's got grandchildren right that she's not related to because all her kids are african but she's got grandchildren, right? That she's not related to because all her kids are African, but she's got grandchildren.

You got fucking grandchildren, dog. And then you have one who's related to you that you had like probably somebody else carry for you. You know, yeah, Lourdes. And you know Lourdes was probably carried by some Mexican housekeeper that got paid like $300 so Madonna doesn't fuck up her body. That's what Hollywood celebrities do.

And then they go online and they say, vote this way. And you're like, what? Okay, here's the deal, Mark Ruffalo. I have an idea for a new reality show. It's called On Notice. Big surprise. Mark Ruffalo tweets, got to do this. Got to think about the people Feed the poor Then we go to Mark Ruffalo's house And we say what's up How you doing You're on

So Mark Ruffalo you were saying We wanted to do this for the poor Are you ready to do it Mark Ruffalo we're trading your house And you're moving to the projects We're moving in four illegal immigrants and five people who lived in the projects all the way in Miami gardens. Are you ready, Mark Ruffalo? Because you live in a gated community in a house that's as big as a mansion that can fit nine

people. Are you ready, Mark Ruffalo, to trade places and recede out of some spaces and create some opportunities for underprivileged people? Mark Ruffalo, you have too many roles. You've done too much. You suffer from too much privilege. Time to check yourself, put yourself on notice, and check in to the hotel, which is your new house in Miami Gardens Projects. Good luck.

That would be genius. Do you think he would do it? Yeah. What was that show? Home Makeover with a trailer? Yeah, well, there was a show called Wife Swap. This would be life swap. This would be woke swap.

How woke are you? Scale of one to one to ten mark ruffalo look at me in the eye how woke are you because i'll tell you what it's easy to be woke when you're sitting at a french restaurant in la eating snails and eggs on croissants. But if push came to shove, would you give up your Hulk role to an undocumented worker? Would you? By the way, Hulk's green, you're not. So on notice for that, Hulk should be played by someone who has day four bad COVID, who's turning green. The only person who should be allowed to play COVID is frogs or people whose skin tone turns green from COVID. COVID.

Jeffrey Epstein died of COVID. Conspiracy of vicious international deceivers. He died. Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods got into a car accident because he was doing a clubhouse recording on can you imagine what do you think he was doing here's the options tiger woods was either he was either swiftly trying to get home to find his burner phone to recover it because he got a text from whoever his g is now i don't know who his g is because that motherfucker can't keep his paws off of stewardesses i mean that kid gets into first class he's like mommy do you know who i am

and they're like yeah you used to win titles before you humiliated yourself in a public apology that you didn't need to do and he goes that, that's right. And he goes, I still got a hundred million dollars to give away. You want to get married? So either he was on clubhouse giving a lecture or he was swiftly trying to drive home to get rid of his burner phone. So, but he's fine. That's why we're able to make jokes. You're able to make jokes because he's okay. I heard they're just reconstructing his leg and whether he can play golf or not in the future is uncertain, but it doesn't matter because he doesn't really play good golf now.

He's won, like he came back and won one tournament. Yeah, I mean, after that apology, it was like, it was like, I mean, but what do you expect? You know what? Here's the deal. Here's the fucking deal. If you're Tiger Woods, I'm going way back now,

but if you marry someone whose job is a babysitter and you're the best, most richest, famous golfer on the planet, you should pay the $250 million at the wedding ceremony because you got fucking shit for brain. If I opened your head and looked inside, there is a pile of steaming dog shit in there. How fucking stupid are you? What do you think?

You guys really connect? You guys got chemistry? You really got chemistry? You're really bonding over how you're both fucking changing the world together? You can't be surprised. You can't be surprised. And she shouldn't be surprised.

Oh, he likes to fuck other chicks. You didn't know at the beginning? You had no clue that you might have a tough time hanging on to Tiger Woods. You might have a tough time keeping his attention with your same pussy. If women, if you can't, if you marry someone rich and famous

and you can't figure out a way to grow another pussy, just assume there's about a 25% chance your man may fuck another one. I mean, what were we all born yesterday? Can people grow the fuck up? Can you grow the fuck up, 54 people watching this? Jesus Christ. Or if you get married, there should be or if you get married there should be a clause

in your contract you're telling me you can't get that agreement done if you're Tiger Woods what girl's gonna walk away from that clause if I'm Tiger Woods and I put in the clause

by the way I also really like Puss Puss I like you I wanna make you my main girl but there will be a clause in his contract where occasionally I will sway and lap up some other puss puss.

Are you okay with that before you indulge in this hundred millionaire rich and famous life? You babysitting Scandinavian bitch. Are you okay? Or do you want to walk away and go marry Magnus in Stockholm and sit in the winter for 10 months. And when the sun comes out,

you chase it around like a fucking ferret looking for a nut. You ever see Scandinavians in September? Jesus Christ, dude, the cloud comes, they'll go whatever angle the sun is coming out, they'll drive to it and fucking get in a blanket and savor every second of sunlight because it's about to be darkness.

I am an animal right now. I'm a fucking animal. Is there another room? Is there room for Chrissy D? Absolutely. Yanni, the legendary ferret. Ferrets are funny world. Squirrely is something I made up.

Guys acting squirrely. And then me and Sergio say it all the time. I'm like, you know, drug addicts act squirrely. When Drew came in, he was acting mad squirrely. I was like Sergio say it all the time like you know drug addicts act squirrely when Drew came in he was acting mad squirrely I was like and then we're like yo you did cock he's like nah I had a Starbucks and I was like you know what at 20 when I was 23 I didn't have a fucking tolerance to Starbucks coffee either you had a double shot espresso that's basically if I did that now I probably end up in a hospital with COVID somehow I would catch COVID because I do two coffees and then i'm like this and then i just stop i just i turn into like my fucking hands start shaking i'm like i gotta stop right now i gotta stop that's what it is yanni dimples

the only uh only thing better than great pussy is new pussy said like a true champion the only thing better than good pussy is new pussy that was originally said by Shakespeare yeah so it's what it is I haven't been in Manhattan in a long time Jess I'll be honest with you Jesse Scatoro follow Jesse Scatoro on Instagram to see his no you don't have to well I mean all right don't do it. He's got pictures. You got pictures. You got paintings up there.

You got finger paintings. Or don't follow. It's funny. You tell him, you're like, people come, you're going to be like, you're going to put up a picture, be like, hey, everyone who just followed me, please leave.

It's not for you. Not for you. It's not for you. But you know what's funny? This is what I noticed from being a stand-up comedian which i don't really miss that much to be honest with you i think that's an age thing like if there's a way for me to just get paid doing uh squeaky clean episodes in my bathtub i'm taking it i gotta say i was kind of surprised when you said that earlier yeah you know what it is it's because it's an age

thing once you have a daughter you don't want to fucking, you know, I don't want to head out. By the way, I'll be at Soul Joel's Comedy Club in Royersford, PA, March 13th. Tickets are going fast. Get your fucking tickets. I'm bringing my whole brain there. It's going to be fun. Soul Joel's Comedy Club. That means if you live in Jersey or you live in Philly, dog, if you're in the Philly area or the Jersey area, get tickets to see me,

Royersford, PA. I may bring Drew. Who the fuck knows? Who the fuck knows? I may bring the girls Drew's taking photos of. So come on to Royersford, PA, March 13th.

Tickets at yannaspapascomedy.com or you can just Google it. If you can't find the tickets, then I don't know what to tell you. You're 70 and you're close. You're on the runway.

You're on the runway. Pilots saying it's time for liftoff and you're going up to heaven. You got a fucking ticket booked. You got your mask on and the stewardess says, put your seat back forward. You're ready to go. But the funny thing I noticed from doing comedy is all the cities in America, pre-COVID, all the cities in America, pre-COVID, all the cities in America are full of ugly people. And I was always like, why? Why are all these cities have like, you go to the

malls and there's like no good looking people. It's because all the good looks and youth are such a hot commodity. By the way, that's the new Bitcoin. It's looking nice, being beautiful. And I'll explain to you why, okay? I'm telling people to invest in Nickelback. At least that's a real thing, okay? I can make them play a song if the world's burning. That's the whole thing about Bitcoin. People tell you Bitcoin.

You're like, oh, why should I invest in Bitcoin? It's not a real thing. They're like, you don't understand. When Armageddon happens, Bitcoin is gonna be worth so much money. When the dollar collapses, I'm going, okay. So let me explain. Let me understand this right. Let me understand this. So when the dollar collapses, your only worry is going to be whether you have Bitcoin. Because you

know what my worry is going to be, Drew? How many guns I got. So you're telling me there's going to be 10 smart investors who got tons of Bitcoin. Who are you going to fucking sell your Bitcoin to? Each other? While the 90% of the rest of us rob you of the computer that has your Bitcoin? Because you know what I'm looking for as currency during Armageddon if the dollar fucking collapses? Guns. I want to be around guns and murderers who like my comedy. I'm going to be looking for guys who go, yo, man, I did a bid.

I killed my mom. I killed a couple people. I have PTSD from the murders in Iraq, but I love Marika, son. And I'm going to be like, yo, dog, you can live with me. And you're going to be in your house going like, I got millions of bitcoins. I'm going to say, I'm here with C-Rock from D-Block. That's worth about a million Bitcoins. Come and take your fucking computer,

which is the house for your fucking invisible Bitcoins. You tech nerd, son of a bitch, jerk bastard. Invest in fucking Bitcoin. Might as well invest in Pennywise and Coinstar too. Invest in guns and murderers who like your comedy that's what i want and police officers nypd's big morica fans i like calling him morica because that's the the the more hood someone is the more they like yo man i love morica dog just it's just what they say they call her morica and so that's what i'm eviscerating what was my

original point when i got sidetracked by bitcoin does anyone remember cities yes so fuck your bitcoin okay get guns guns are gonna if armageddon armageddon comes guns are gonna be worth a lot of bitcoins you're gonna use those bitcoins to buy guns but it's full of ugly people and the reason is pre-pandemic all the pretty people such a it's such a currency to be young and hot that all the pretty people would go to a few cities they would empty this la and new york and miami would just empty all the cities of their beautiful people. Now all those people, like in New York and LA, have gone back to their suburban homes, their homes in Idaho, their homes in Iowa, their homes in Idaho, which is the new Austin. I'll say that every episode.

I don't know. And now they're back in their suburbs being the hottest fucking chick there. And they're kind of liking that now. Because they all go there to try to make it, I don't know, as what, an Instagram whore or whatever? Instagram, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Instagram model. And TikTok, you took down a video, my Miley Cyrus clip from this podcast,

where I said she was a video. Yeah, they took it down because they said it had illegal content explicit and illegal content because i said the word cigarette and i know that that's crossing the line especially when you're an app that has 12 and 13 year old girls who are half naked dancing to gangster rap music wait what have you said cigarette yeah i said cigarette they took it down why Because it's a soulless AI woke bot that follows you around like the Matrix and just takes shit down. It's not a human reviewing it. You can't say cigarette.

You can't say cigarette. The armless Nazi, they took down that character because I had the word Nazi in it. It's just bots that go around and take words out. So it's like you got to start a Patreon. Patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays. Go. The bonus episodes are fucking lit.

What is like a synonymous word for lit in your generation 22? And what is your generation? You're not millennials. What are you? Nihilists? Huh? Gen Z.

Holy shit. That's the end. It's the end of the fucking alphabet. What more clue do you need? What comes after Z? Nothing. I just missed millennialial 97 is when i was born that's when gen z started you you were born in 97 because i had already fucked 35 women by the

time you were born and i knew it because i made a list of them because at that age that's what you did you just made a list and you looked at it and you were proud of it and you were proud of your list and if you were crazy like me you'd add a few imaginary ones in there just to boost your numbers yeah boosting your own numbers in your list of what you banged is the original buying followers of who you fucked like who'd you fuck you'd be like yeah I fucked 50 and then you throw a couple fucking fake names and you show your boy your list and you say yeah that girl Kathy yeah I i fuck the fuck fuck an indian girl named prequit prequit prequist sounds like an indian name right dog drew you ever fucked an indian girl

no but yeah i love it i love half white half indian like that's my like that's very specific drew yeah drew just said he likes a quarter indian 25 percent Turkish, and 37% South Asian, I just like 100% Kama Sutra, here's the thing, Indians are slept on, Kama Sutra is the jujitsu of fucking, you can take down anyone if you know jujitsu, because fights usually come to the floor, I don't care how good you are throwing hands, I get a hand, well, first of all, I take out jujitsu because I bite, so I don't know who teaches biting, but I'm gonna, I will go on TikTok, and I mean, I'm sorry, I will go on Clubhouse, and I will be teaching a course on bite martial arts, you bite, bite balls, bite necks, bite ears, I'm a biter, biting, rock, paper, scissors, biting Scissors biting always beats jujitsu. But Kama Sutra is kind of like the jujitsu of fucking. Means you're a fucking black belt.

So Indians are born black belts of fucking and they're slept on. We're sitting there. We're fucking, you know, we're pumping. We're pumping. You know what that is? We're trying to get that dumb sperm up there. We're trying to push it, trying to help it. Come on, let's make another fucking mediocre idiot.

Bang. Let's make another useless eater. Bang. Let's make another mouth that needs to be fed who's going to change nothing with needs and biases and racism and violence. Bang. Let's make another person who's going to sit and feed himself fucking tacos from Taco Bell while he slurps down a Slurpee and puts a skull in his mouth. Bang.

So that's why we're trying to push it. Indians don't do that. They put in and they vibrate. They vibrate. How do you think geniuses, how do you think the 1%ers fuck? I'll tell you how they fuck. How do you think Mark Zuckerberg

fucks his Chinese girlfriend? By the way, the Ivy League has been bringing Jews and Chinese together since 1937. If you see a Jewish kid and he tells you he went to an Ivy League school, there's a 97% chance his girlfriend is Chinese. Okay? That's just how it goes. The Ivy League brings Asians and Jews together and creates little hybrid half Jew Asians. But what do you think they do? They don't fuck like normal people, like fucking dock workers. They don't fuck like that, like mediocre. If you're fucking and pumping, that means your IQ is low. People with high IQs,

they shiver and hold each other. So Mark Zuckerberg just plugs in and they they shiver and hold each other right so mark zuckerberg just plugs in and they just shiver and shake and because nature wants them to reproduce they don't have to push it so nature just takes the sperm and throws it from the vibration because they want more smart advanced people and less fucking idiots but we're so idiots are so ambitious we just keep fucking pushing that's why do you think we're pushing like that we're trying, idiots are so ambitious, we just keep fucking pushing that. Why do you think we're pushing like that? We're trying to give it a head start and go, fucking run, Johnny. You're slow, but run. You guys understand what I'm talking about? It's like a phone on vibrate. It's like when you put your phone on vibrate, that's the way,

when your phone vibrates in your pocket during a meeting, that's the same way Mark Zuckerberg fucks Mrs. Chow i don't know her real name but i assume it was lee or chow could you guys find a third or fourth fake name to give you guys because you know their real names are like noises and then it's like every chinese family just picked lee chow chang Chao Chang. Is there a fourth one? Hugh. Yeah. Chan. Chan. Chan, Chao, Chang.

I mean, and then they say, like, don't say those things. You're like, yo, I'm just talking about all the boys that went to high school. Chang, Chao, and Chang. Priscilla is whose first name? Yeah. Priscilla Chang. That's not her real name. Her real name is like uh garden mountain

uh water and the way you pronounce it is so that's what that is so all the cities have been emptied out of good looking people man patreon.com slash yanni long days for the bonus series squeaky clean squeaky clean patreon.com what's up look at these jokes people throwing they get their names by throwing coins down the hall you my friend need to go to prison for that that is a joke from 1981 we've heard it albeit it's a good one it's like how do you get a one-armed Polack out of a tree? I don't know how Polack's just got the stereotypes that they're dumb, but I think those old street jokes were funny. How do you get a one-armed Polack out of a tree? You wave. He waves

back. One of my favorite racist street jokes was, why were so many black people killed in Vietnam? Because when the lieutenant told them to get down, they all stood up and started dancing. It's what it is. How do you separate a Greek boy from a stood up and started dancing. It's what it is. How do you separate a Greek boy from a man, a crowbar? It's what we do. Whoever the streets are, the streets are talking. They are talking. Aaron Carter, we're thinking of you.

We're thinking of you, Aaron Carter. What happened there? I don't know. He's got tattoos in his face. And here's the thing. When you're performing for a bunch of girls and you're doing whatever that music was the sounds that he used to do and then it goes away there's only one way to get that high again meth the only thing that packs that same punch of like do you you know what it must feel like? The three of us will never know what it feels like

to have a few thousand girls your age screeching at the top of their lungs for your body. The feeling that that must be can only be replicated with something strong. You can't wash that down with a little marijuana. You're not going to be able to drink a few Coronas and feel that again. You need a real punch in the dick. And the only thing that's going to give you a punch in the dick is oxy or meth or a little crack cocaine.

I think that's the holy trinity of replicating that fentanyl or fentanyl which puts you down so killed michael jackson no that was propovol propovol fentanyl yeah he had a cocktail i mean he wanted yeah i mean i used to love it yeah did you really that's a strange thing. Because now you're like a dude. So that's weird. Did you transition from woman? I used to go in sync with Ann Carter. You did?

Wow. Fuck. They were good. Huh? I don't want candy. That was a banger. I wanted that. Those guys are still touring.

They're touring and girls go for it. They make money on that nostalgia. Girls go. It's funny when like girls go older as like a funny thing. They're going like, let's go see an insect. And then they go and they giggle and be like, you remember when we were this stupid? And then they're up there doing the thing that's stupid. They're still doing the dance like ba, ba, ba.

And girls are going, oh my God, do you remember when we had no standard for music and we just thought they were cute? Do you remember before we thought Lance was gay? You were the Lance guy. Because all the girls pick one. I like Lance. I like JC. I like fucking Justin Timberlake.

And I like, nobody likes Chris Kirkpatrick. Chris Kirkpatrick works at a vape store now. I mean, Chris Kirkpatrick was last seen handing somebody snooze out of a container he was he was last seen unlocking a snooze cabinet and handing somebody general snooze which is now being taxed by the American government Swedish snooze that's the last time Chris Kirkpatrick was seen, and the last time Joey Fatone was seen, he was on the Impractical Jokers cruise with me, opening for us, no, I'm kidding, Joey Fatone, no, he does like, he does, what does he do, yeah, he's got a lot of

personality, but that must be weird to be like the Italian kid from an Italian home and start dancing and singing and have your dad call you a finook a few times. How many times do you think Joey was called a finook in his own home over dinner? A lot. Yeah, with sauce present. I'm going to tell you it's between 17 and 45 times

where his dad say, I'm not raising no fucking finook. But it's weird because they got Sinatra. They love Sinatra. Yeah, but Sinatra was no finook. Sinatra didn't fucking dance around. He was a song and dance man. Yeah, but he stood there and he sang like a fucking man after drinking a whiskey. He went, when the clock strikes half past two.

The most you would get out of Sinatra was a man foot pat. That's it. He would sit on the stool and said, regrets. He wasn't going up there. Regrets, I've had a few. But then again, not few to mention. I lived a life that's not. But then again, we do to mention.

But then, I did all that. That's not what men do. Men, stand up against a wall and let a woman gyrate on your dick that's what men do men don't dance you find a wall rest your drink on your gut and let them go to work okay it's called the white man wiggle elvis elvis was elvis did have a silky smooth voice even though he was basically just like getting paid off of what he learned was black music and all he had like one move with his leg kick in his lip but he had a silky smooth voice Elvis he did Sinatra was the gold standard that you know right

away that's an Italian kid who loves his father right there that's a kid who loves his father that is one of the writer passages I mean Frank Sinatra is to Italian kids what Billy Joel is to Jews in Long Island okay if you're from Long Island Billy Joel's a fucking god you let him fuck your wife if he comes over for fucking if he comes over for Prosecco you're letting Billy Joel get a swing at your wife and at bat, whatever you want. You're up to bat. Get in the game, Billy. That's my wife. Okay. God knows I deserve it for the amount of times I jerked off to your wife, Christy Brinkley. God knows, God knows he deserves it for what we have done to his wife. Not me, because she's a little, but when I was small,

when Christy Brinkley was hot, I was shooting blanks. But there was like people who are our age now and Drew's age now. When Christie Brinkley. And that was before like readily available porn. Christie Brinkley has a snowstorm of goo in history. She was a hottie commodity. It was a snowstorm of glue. You're talking about a full on weather channel blizzard of bukkake

that this world has seen in christy brinkley's name and that's a man's wife so the least you could do if you live out on the island is offer up your life wife is tribute to let fucking billy joel that little squig jew who got the voice of a goddamn angel bang on that piano and bang your wife out she was a piece christy brinkley and she still is she's still hot the taller these women are the hotter they're christy brinkley cindy crawford still a smoking yeah cindy's smoking dog that your pops definitely jacked off to cindy crawford he's of that age that generation for sure you jacked off to cney Crawford. He's of that age, that generation. For sure. You jacked off to Sidney Crawford. Who hasn't? No. Frankie Sinatra was a man.

Lance from NSYNC is a gay man. Yeah. He's a gay man and that's a great thing. He's in a monogamous relationship. I follow him on TikTok. It must be weird to be a pop star now because

or a porn star. There's no porn, just, like, it's, like, or a porn star, like, there's no porn stars anymore, there's just people who record themselves fucking, and now there's just, like, people recording themselves dancing, so when I saw that Lance, I went to Lance Bass's, like, TikTok, the kid can dance a little bit, you know, and it was just, like, I was just, like, oh, I just seen a hundred of these, used to you know everything is is is um it's plentiful now you can get it anywhere you could really get it anywhere come to vegas be on riffing with brian i don't know who that is riffing with ryan but whoever it is got a plug right now on this not like it helps jesus christ can we get these fucking numbers into the 30s guys okay are you guys all going to

watch other stuff come watch long days tell friends about long days well you know it's kind of our fault we weren't on itunes till like three months in so that's our fault i don't know guys madonna's where we we stopped at madonna i got sidetracked so madonna can you pull up her Instagram post about the patriarchy? Yeah, so Madonna, it's about the patriarchy where she says, yeah, and then Jesse will give you the mic

so we can hear what she wrote. You can just read what she wrote and you're going to have to, yeah, maybe you stand up or something so they can hear you. You're good. Yeah. You see that post

where she says the patriarchy it's like a few few from the top it's just a picture of her she looks like a wax statue yeah she yeah here she goes it doesn't matter yeah you fucking unlike it you're a man fucking she's put she's sick of the patriarchy let's hear it patriarchy continues to try to crush my neck with their heavy boots, cut off my life force and take away my voice. Okay. Just give me one second. Pause right there. The patriarchy has always been out to get Madonna, a woman who is maybe one of the most famous people on the planet ever and who had the gall to name herself after Jesus's mother. She named herself after Jesus's mother and the patriarchy is out to get her. The same patriarchy that let that slide during an era where it was still kind of religious. Okay? Which patriarchy is trying to get you?

The one that allowed you to become Madonna? Because how about this, Madonna? Why don't you go try to create a new career while you name yourself after Muhammad's dad? See what your first concert, I bet you it's going to be off the chain. It's going to be fucking the bomb. See what that

patriarchy has to say about your name, Madonna. And I don't even know who Muhammad's pops is, but I'm sure his name is Muhammad too. You know, chances are if he's Muhammad's pops, chances name his name is Muhammad. Okay? Because Muhammad is

the Ronaldo of Portuguese. It's the Yanni is to Greekreek as muhammad is to arab there's a lot of people named muhammad muhammad muhammad yeah so the reason why the patriarchy that's trying to crush your neck madonna they're trying they're trying to crush your neck but you know why they couldn't get to it they couldn't get to it because in between your neck and their boot is hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars so it's hard to stomp through all that paper yes continue but you need the you need the mic as well from the top again the patriarchy continues to try to crush my neck with their heavy boots

cut off my life force and take away my voice even those who call themselves artists you know who you are death to the patriarchy now and forever yeah you know who you are frank sinatra you know who you are drake you know who you are radiohead yeah madonna you're fucking out there You're out there on the edge. I mean, you are the alternative music. You're really just out there doing something different, taking risks, you know. Girl, read to your kids.

You're 64. You got a couple of adopted kids that could use a story. Time to pack it up. Tour's over. Life is a mystery. Time to retire before I break something. Here's the thing. You're going to break something. A 64-year-old, and a lot of women are watching this going, fucking tell her to keep going. Fucking, okay, well then shut your mouth. I don't want to hear about it.

I don't want to hear about the patriarchy trying to take you down, Madonna. The patriarchy ain't doing anything. The patriarchy has left you completely alone, okay? And you're a gay icon. Nobody can ever take that from you women want to be you you were able to become an icon with mediocre at best dancing skills mediocre at best singing skills take the money and leave the casino okay it's time to pack it up and let Lady Gaga continue the work that you started for the gay community. Okay. She's the new star. Okay. You're OJ Simpson. She's Marcus Allen and Marcus Allen is fucking Nicole and you're jealous of Marcus Allen.

Let's not let this end with a murder and a Bronco chase. Okay? People are loving that because it's a really good analogy. If you know the story, Marcus Allen was the younger, hotter version of OJ that befriended OJ, and there's big rumors that he banged out Nicole

big rumors and that's why she ultimately lost her head he lost his head about it so it's a head for a head enough time has passed for me to make that joke I'm sorry to the Goldman family I'm sorry to the Goldman family and I'm sorry to OJ who's still looking for Nicole's killer have you seen his tweets? I've seen his tweets, what is he calling for? racial conciliation, what's his thing? he's got comments about everything yeah

so patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays I'm Yantifa soldier for the pap-triarchy. These fans come with heat sometimes. That's what I'm gonna start calling myself, Yannifa. Yannifa soldier for the pap-triarchy.

I like it a lot. I like it a lot. Yeah, she's an icon. She's an icon. Madonna is an icon. But it's like, you know what? Here's what she's doing, guys, and we'll end on this. She's creating icon. She's an icon. Madonna is an icon. But it's like, you know what? Here's what she's doing, guys. And we'll end on this.

She's creating a struggle. That's what the whole point of this episode is. I told you at the beginning, you are boring. Create who you are. If you have a puppy in your profile, no, that's a rescued puppy. It's a pit bull, even if it's not. Send it to Dubo, whatever that is. They'll make a video about the rehabilitation of rescued puppy. It's a pit bull, even if it's not. Send it to Dubo, whatever that is.

They'll make a video about the rehabilitation of the puppy. You're a hero, okay? Find how you're oppressed, make it up, and sell it. Sell it. Sell it, okay? Sell it. You're an Asian woman. How are they holding you down here? I want to hear about it.

I want to hear. I want to hear how rough you had it. I want to hear how rough you had it at Harvard. I want to know how they came down on you at Harvard. Sell it to me. Sell me that struggle. Okay? And I want to hear how good your parents had it at the country they fled from. Because they were abusive parents who wanted you to have a worse life and face worse discrimination

from people who don't look like you because they were fleeing a place where there was discrimination by people who looked exactly look like you because they were fleeing a place where there was discrimination by people who looked exactly like them. Okay? But at least your parents did not have to deal with a patriarchy. Okay?

They were eating roaches and rice by the individual rice. Okay? Their shoes were wooden flip-flops, and their hats, for some reason, were circle witch hats without the top. Okay? They were carrying animals on their head.

Am I the only one who learned Chinese culture from racist cartoons? Okay? But at least they didn't have to deal with what you have to deal with. You didn't have to deal. They didn't have to deal. Okay?

With white men creating a place where you can move to and start making more money than white men. What kind of trick is that? What are you up to? What is the straight white male patriarchy up to at this point? Because what they've done right now is they have did a little trick where they are no longer, on average, making the most money in the country. You know who's making more money

than white men? Just about every immigrant group, including Nigerians. But number one, Asian women are making more than white men now. What kind of trick are you up to, patriarchy? Asian women are making more than white men now. What kind of trick are you up to, patriarchy? What's the move here? What's the plan? What, are you going to come out and sandbag us from out of nowhere? At least your parents didn't have to deal with this type of trickery and chicanery. Your parents couldn't eat.

A lot of them were murdered by political opponents. Your parents couldn't eat. A lot of them were murdered by political opponents. But they didn't have to deal with this bullshit we see in Hollywood. Okay? How long did it take for us to see Asian representation in Hollywood? 40 years? 20?

15? Too long. The more you complain about, the more free you are. Remember that. On behalf of the whiteness, I'd just like to apologize. And I'm going to just be ending on an apology and saying I, obviously we're all monolith. We all think the same. And I would just like to apologize on behalf, and I'm going to recede out of this space and replace myself with a person of color to continue this podcast.

Mark Ruffalo, I challenge you to do the same. This is the On Notice Show. Hashtag On Notice. Tag someone who needs to be put on notice and needs to give up their privilege and give it to someone underprivileged. Mark Ruffalo, me and you, we're headed to Miami Gardens.