Yannis Pappas Hour - Hunter Biden's Rap Sheet

Episode Date: August 20, 2023

It’s your favorite paper plate news hour. Yanni talks Hunter Biden’s rap sheet, Trump being surrounded and how he doesn’t want to be your thought leader. Also, the migrant tourism business is booming in New York & Chicago!  See Yanni do stand up All tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.com Dallas Aug 24-26 Springfield l, MO sept 7-9 Calgary Sept 22–23 FORt Wayne, Indiana Sept 29-30 Red Bank, NJ Oct 14 San Fran Oct 27-28 New York City Nov 4 Providence Nov 10-11 Phoenix Nov 16-18 Spokane Dec 1-2 Tulsa Dec 8-9 Louisville Dec 15-16 Toronto March 23 Watch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQ Join our highlights page for highlight clips from the episodes: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykw new bonus episodes every Wednesday at https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator

What's up everybody? Welcome to a new episode of the Giannis Pappas Hour, where we give you the news straight, uncut, unfiltered, unbiased, and unhinged. Chris Christie has now overtaken Ron DeSantis in the race, And that is very, very traumatic. And it is very, very embarrassing to lose any race to Chris Christie. If the word race and Chris Christie are in the same sentence, you don't want to be losing that. Or someone's going to call you out. Scientists have been able to read your mind. They've been able to pull people's thoughts out

and figure out that they're listening to this song, Pink Floyd's, some Pink Floyd song. We will get into it. I don't understand it, but they reconstruct the Pink Floyd song by listening to people's brainwaves. So essentially, what some people are saying is this is going to be great understanding people like Stephen Hawkins who got things to say but can't.

And what I'm saying is Konnichiwa social credit score. What are you thinking? Go to jail for your thought crime. Here she comes. Miss America. Where's the bell for the for the for authoritarianism? There needs to be an authoritarian bell. Like every time something authoritarian happens, you just hear. For authoritarianism. There needs to be an authoritarian bell. Ding.

Every time something authoritarian happens, you just hear ding. The bell for who the bell's tolled. A woman slipped in Boston at Eataly, which is why I like this story because it's called Eataly. Only in America would they make an Italian restaurant called Eataly. Supposedly, it's in some sort of food market in Boston. The restaurant restaurant called Eataly. Supposedly it's in some sort of food market in Boston. The restaurant's called Eataly. And she slipped on a piece of prosciutto. And she's suing.

So she's suing after slipping on prosciutto. So it's America, baby. Morgan and Morgan will take the case. They have it. Threads is bombing. Threads is absolutely bombing. So Mark Zuckerberg was overheard saying he's just going back to selling people's information without their consent. Because Threads didn't work out. So he lost his shirt on that one.

And it looks like their highly touted MMA fight is not going to happen. And nobody cares. Nobody wanted to see it. Nobody cares. The only thing I want to see those two guys do is go and have a nanny-nanny-boo-boo fight

and go nanny-nanny-boo-boo. Look, Mark Zuckerberg, I know you think you train in MMA, but there's a ceiling fan. I got two hands. I'm taking Krav Maga. I'm also boxing with Sergio Chico now. I'll throw you into it.

This is the Giannis Papas Hour, where paper plates meet news headlines. Here we go. It's a long day. It's a long day. What's up? Thank you, everybody, who sold out the Paramount Theater for me in Long Island. It was a blast. Thank you so much. Coming up right now, Dallas, Texas, August 24th through 26th, Springfield, Missouri, September 7th and 9th, Calgary, Alberta, Fort Wayne, Indiana, Red Bank, New Jersey at the Vogel on October 14th,

Austin, Texas at the Comedy Mothership, October 19th to the 22nd, Hobbs in San Francisco, October 19th to the 22nd Hobbs in San Francisco October 27th to 28th Sony Hall New York City Homecoming November 4th

Providence Phoenix Spokane Tulsa Louisville and the Royal Theatre in Toronto March 23rd

now patreon.com slash Giannis Papasauer for our bonus episodes every week they're even better than these, baby. Come take a ride on Yanni.

Now, let's get into it. All right, one by one, we're going to knock these down like bowling pins. Okay, one by one, we're going to knock these down. I don't even know what to do with these stories. I don't know how to make them funny. I mean, just looking at a picture of Mark Zuckerberg doing jiu-jitsu is funny because I'm just going to walk in there

and I'm just going to grab him in the fucking headlock and punch him in his goddamn egghead head. He's not a tough guy with that yellow belt. You're not a tough guy. Okay? You're tougher than Mark Zuckerberg before he started doing jiu-jitsu

and that's about it. Get back to stealing our information and pretending that you care about protecting American democracy. How many. How many. Disinformation campaigns, do you think he's responsible for himself through Facebook ads in 2020? How many? I'm going to say probably 76,000. These guys, I mean, do we need to regulate them? I don't know. I don't know where people stand. What are your loyalties? Do you believe in regulation? Should your food be unregulated? I don't know what to do. What do you want? Should Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates just be able to do whatever they want? Is Apple going to buy Disney? Are they going to buy America? Is Google at some point going to just go, you know what? Here's a bid. Where do I talk to Uncle Sam?

Here's $14 trillion endless dollars because we've created an apparatus that has turned every citizen into a devoted servant of clicks and likes. And we're all going to develop a bump in the back of our necks from looking down. Does anyone have a full ball of cum anymore? Every guy's just smacking away at free, endless, infinite porn. It's infinite. You stick your head into this infinite vapid hole of self-esteem addiction that is run by Google and Apple. They run it on everything, like just by the country and call it the United States of Apple. They run and own everything, like just buy the country and call it the United

States of Apple. How about USA, USA, United States of Apple and Google. They are, they own everything. And, um, the Biden administration is defend, defends communications with social media companies in high stakes court fight. What's going on here? Supposedly they suppressed a lot of information on social media or they put in a request to suppress information. Right, right. They did. They did. And Twitter acquiesced. Right.

What were they suppressing? Hunter Biden. Is that what it is? Hunter Biden. He's got a lot of legal trouble. He's got a gun charge. He's got a tax evasion charge is he TI? he's the only guy who's not a rapper

who's got like four charges one of them's a gun charge tax evasion I mean he's really he's like an Atlanta rapper he's been under investigation since 2018 for his foreign dealings drug use finances the kids all over the place and now he's got a gun charge and he got a stripper pregnant i think he

is ti dog yeah he needs to drop an album yeah you need to drop stop with this art and come out with a fucking rap that vivek uh booty boo can because I can't pronounce his last name. I met him too. I was on TV with him. What's his name? Uh, Vivek, uh, Bobby Swami or something. Yeah. Vivek booty booty boo. The guy was having a great run. He was having a great run until he decided to, uh, lip sync Eminem. This was a real moment, But listen, he didn't have a chance anyway. I mean, Donald Trump is just the front runner. The Republican Party now, their front runner, the front runner of the Republican Party right now has 91 criminal charges against them in four separate indictments. There's 19 other people, uh,

co-conspirators who were also indicted. Supposedly they're turning on him. Uh, he's just, he is Tony Montana. Okay. Say hello to my little friend. He's Tony Montana. Uh, they're just trying to get him so the republican uh nominee has uh four separate indictments 91 charges while the democratic nominee i mean come on man we you know his son has got gun charges his son has got uh His son is under scrutiny for foreign meddling, for impregnating a stripper and not wanting him to have the last name. The kid's just got legal troubles up the butt. He's got dick pics out there. He smokes crack.

I mean, there he is with a crack vial first of all why are you taking pictures of your smell smoking crack what do you want to prove it to yourself it's almost like he's trying to hurt his dad yeah he wants to put it in his dad's email but that's why i tell you again i just don't believe 10 to the big guys joe b, because somebody this careless would have just said 10% to my father and vice president, Joe Biden. And then he would go, was that audible enough for you to hear? I'm about to light up a crack rock and impregnate a stripper with all this fucking baller money that I was paid by some Ukrainian oligarch who wants to suck my dad off for influence. The kid used what he got, man.

I mean, his life story is a real less than zero. It's Brett Easton Ellis written. He had every advantage in the world. He fucked his brother's widow. He smoked crack. He fucked a stripper and knocked her up. He's got brother's widow. He smoked crack. He fucked a stripper and knocked her up. He's got a gun problem and a crack problem. He's Hunter Biden, baby. And now he's doing art. Democrats will have a harder time highlighting Trump's indictments.

This is according to NBC News and the president's allies worry Republicans will try to exploit the Sun's predicament the same way they weaponized Clinton's emails because you know elections are now all about the issues that can help people and you know what the people who need the help get into this they deserve it what about those emails what about the Biden

it's like look they're all scumbags which one of them is going to do some? Who's going to pay for some fucking clean water in Flint, Michigan? Who's going to finally say, hey, you know what? I don't know what we owe these migrants, but we're putting them up at five-star fucking hotels. Who's paying for that? Can we admit?

Can we just admit? Can I still say I'm a good person and I don't want people to be separated from their kids or whatever, but also say, hey, maybe this is a problem that people in New York City are paying for migrants to stay in five-star hotel rooms. This is a true story. Now, here's the funny part. And this is what you come to the Honest Papas Hour for, and this is what you come to the Honest Papas Hour for, is for the oxymorons, the paradoxes,

and the good old centrist cyclops, which I am not. I'm not a centrist. I am just an observer. I don't vote. I don't care. And I'm not your thought leader. So go fuck yourself danny meyer uh i guess he's the guy who started um shake shack shake shack um and he did that for the homeless initially because i think that's you know he's very he was a big restaurateur like

a famous i'm being sarcastic he did it for the home he's like you know what we got to do we got to make a four burgers you know i'm for climate change is bad but here's every cow i'm fucking putting out burgers dog which is supposedly the worst thing for climate change because they fart right or something like that it probably takes a lot to eat meat but danny meyer shake shack and now he's closing two of his fancier restaurants in New York City, historic hotels that previously were hotels. And now they are illegal immigrant migrant shelters. What's going on? What is going on here?

I don't understand. So like, what's going on? So are they just asking Washington for money and Washington's going like, we can't send it back. And Texas and Florida are going like, Texas is sending them. Right.

So Texas has gone like, you see what we're dealing with? Our tax players don't want to deal with it. So the, this is crazy. is uh the union square hospitality group whenever you hear group that means they own a bunch of shit they're real rich and they do blow and they know noah tepperberg who owns the tau group uh the union square hospitality group run by mayor um mayor not the mayor new yer, M-E-Y-E-R.

Mayer, sorry. Governor Gillil has since confirmed that Marta, whatever it's called, which are both located in the lobby of the hotel, will have their last service on August 25th. My birthday! Should I go there on my birthday? Yeah.

And buy a lunch for the real Marta? Because the restaurant is called the Marta and Mayino. What is it? Is it like Spanish? That's hilarious if it's Mexican food. And they're like, wait, what are you doing? We just got here. Why are you closing it?

What the fuck, man? We just checked in, bro. I want to go down and get some tortas and some lengua. Marta and Marino. That sounds like a Spanish or Hispanic restaurant of some sort. So I will go there on August 25th. And for my birthday, I will find a girl named Martha. And we will have our last meal there.

I guess they're staying indefinitely. What happened? Did the migrants go on Hotel Tonight and go like, did they choose? Did they go to Hotel Tonight and get the surprise deal? I think the plaza was full. Yeah, I think the plaza. What happened? Was the Soho Grand?

Was Ali Wong in town? Was it booked? The Soho Grand was full? You know, every fucking fancy hotel is shaking in their boots right now. What do they do? They're making a deal with the city or whatever? Like, what is this? Are they getting commandeered?

Is the city commandeering the hotels? How's this working? Are they getting payment from the government? How's it working? To be clear, there are 57 000 asylum seekers that they need to find housing for every night and here's the problem i don't think they're going to stop sending them up here they're staying at the a fancy hotel why would they why would they leave yeah at some point you

got to go do we owe them something like I mean, at what point? I'm talking to people who've been in abusive relationships. I'm talking to those people who end up being with people who take for granted how much they give. At what point do you say, girl, girl, you're giving too much of yourself, okay? All he does is cheat on you, use you. He still has no job. You got to get out of it. It's toxic. And she, you go, I know, I know, I know. But he said, he said, it's about to work out. MTV is about to call. Are we that girl now? Are we that girl trapped in a toxic relationship and can't get out because she's got low self-esteem?

I think so. Because what's the exit strategy here? What are you going to do? We're just going to have 57,000 new people who just came here illegally going like, hey, shit's bad over there. We got to do something because it's not going to stop. So either you build a fucking force field, but that people will get out. What do you do? Or do you go over there and make it good? Do you just take over Mexico? That's what we have to do. I'm sorry to say this. We're going to have to divert all of our military funds, which is a lot, from Ukraine to the new effort to take over Mexico, which, by the way, I don't think will be too hard. I think the biggest fight will come from the cartels, you know? Well, now you're talking Vivek Ramaswamy's book. He wants to put the military at the border,

the southern border, our military at the southern border. Right, but I'm going one further. I'm going full Putin with it. I say we cross the border and take over Mexico, take over the cartels. We deal drugs to ourselves, tax it. OK, all those free pharmaceuticals drug addicts go to get. We tax that Mexican rubbing tugs, taxed corn corn taxed. Hey, we spent $3 trillion in the Middle East. Why don't we spend a couple of trillion down there? Why don't we spend a couple of trillion invading Mexico

and making it great, and then all the illegal Mexicans, not the legal ones, illegal, become Mexican and American, but then they can move just anywhere in America. So I don't know if my plan's that great. Yeah, maybe we just become Mexico-America. You want to turn Mexico into Puerto Rico.

Just turn Mexico into fucking something good that people don't want to flee. But then the problem is they want to come through Mexico. So then you're going to have to build a border. You're going to have to build a wall. So if we take over Mexico, then we're going to have to build Trump wall so if we take over mexico then we're gonna have to build trump's wall on the southern border of mexico between mexico and who knows whatever fucking

third world country is under there i don't go that far it's like the ocean i don't go that deep i don't want to know what's out there no we're just gonna go down to panama i don't know so what do we got? What's under Mexico? Okay, here we go. Here's South America. Yeah, so here's a good choice. Why aren't things going great down there? Can't they just fucking make it great? Mexico. So we put, oh, yeah, Guatemala's not doing hot. Guatemala, Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Costa Rica they got a big tourism thing Panama I mean these countries down there what the hell's even going on down there dog what's going on in Ecuador

what's going on in the DR you know so we got to build I guess we got to build a wall under Panama. Yeah. That's a good choke point. Yeah. Keep Columbia's got some problems. They all got problems, right? They're all problems. They're all foster kids at this point. I don't, can you even talk about what made them? I don't know at this point, can you even talk about what made them? I don't know. At this point, you know, they're all foster kids. And they're causing problems, right? And we got to put them in juvie. They're Bobby Kelly when he was 16. They're Boston nightmares.

So that's the problem. And then you build the wall there. And then you make Mexico America. But then the Guatemalans will be sneaking into Mexico. So then you've got to conquer Guatemala, build a wall between Guatemala and Honduras. But then Honduras is going to be sneaking into Guatemala. So you've got to go in and conquer Honduras, make it great, build a wall under Nicaragua, so on and so forth, through Costa Rica, Panama, Colombia, and Ecuador.

forth through Costa Rica, Panama, Colombia, and Ecuador. And then, oh, and Peru. Don't forget about Peru. And then Chile, where some coal miners got fucked. Oh, and Bolivia. Nobody even talks about Bolivia. I bet you you could do anything you want in Bolivia because Bolivia stays out of news. I bet you could chop off someone's head and replace it with a pumpkin and eat their organs and have 100 million slaves and nobody knows about it because when's the last time you ever heard Bolivia in the news? And it's a sizable country. How the hell does Bolivia protect itself against Brazil? Paraguay. How are these countries just okay with being like you know we just need to conquer the whole South America and just you know send the senior swankies

in a cheesecake factory down there and that's it you know because you know when the place is good is when you see some pasty Americans in sandals with long toenails walking around asking where the locals get tortillas. Turn into one big Cancun.

Just turn into Cancun, dog. We already started. Finish it. Just finish it, man. It's like the way Asia finished our cities. We started them and then they finished them over there. Just finish the conquest of Cancun. Push farther.

Keep going. It's very interesting to think about. 57,000 migrants is a lot of people, man. You could have a whole illegal immigrant stadium for two giant games, right? No, giants, 55,000. So one full Giant game, Jess, you just go ba-ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da- For the Giants. I don't know what to tell you, but

Vivek, our boy Vivek, really took a spill, man. And I don't know Republican president, let's give it a go. Republican presidential candidate, Vivek Ramaswamy. That wasn't so hard. Ramaswamy. Raps to lose yourself by Eminem at the Iowa State Fair today. While

old candidates keep winning elections, Republicans have a chance to nominate the conservative version of Barack Obama. This is based on some Twitter guy's beliefs. So he thinks this is the guy. Have you heard him talk? Yeah, he's smart. He's a great talker. Yeah. Let's hear what he's got to say here. This is bad.

You got to go to the audio. Yeah. America's a great place, man. America's a great place. Because, hold on a sec. It still wasn't that bad to me. I enjoyed it. I didn't think it was that bad. America's a great place.

Now, he made himself like a billionaire, right? Yeah, yeah. He's a Silicon Valley guy. He's a Silicon Valley guy. He made himself a billionaire a billionaire he's smart as hell you know his parents were like we're coming here they have a motel whatever they're like vivek we don't know what you're going but what do you go you know and look at it he's rapping to eminem in iowa like it's truly you know he's a smart guy and he's American I didn't think that was that bad

he's just saying the words I'm one I mean you know I'm not voting but guys can we just end the show I want to end the show I want the show in Washington

to be over I want to end the show. I want the show in Washington to be over. I want boring politics again. Just end the show. Okay, I don't need fucking to be bedazzled anymore. Is anyone else tired of the goddamn show? I mean, can we get back to like watching television and ignoring politicians? I mean, funnel weapons to militias.

I don't care. There's no chance for any of these guys. It's like they're playing the Harlem Globetrotters and they're the generals. They got no chance. I mean, DeSantis got no shot. I thought he was going to come out stronger. I really thought so.

But the problem is he's too hard. He's like Mussolini. He's like, get it out. He's in a lawsuit with Disney, right? It's too hard. So he's not going to win over. You got to be able to win over the middle to win. You really do. That's at the end of the day, that's really what it is, right? Because you

can't, the hardcore people are ready. Their minds are made up no matter what. Trump could come back with a body. He could, he could, he could shoot someone in the head on live television and they'll go, it was a setup. It was CGI Biden crime family. They'll just go that way. And the Democrats are going, anything but Trump. Give me the, yeah, this old man's half dead. But supposedly, Jesse, inflation is down from 9% to 3%. Now for the middle, that's going to look really good during the election. I guarantee you Biden is going to be campaigning hard on cutting that

deficit down. It's not a deficit. It's an inflation from nine to three. Wow. He's probably going to take credit because of his inflation act, right? U.S. inflation hits its lowest point since early 2021 as prices ease for gas, groceries, and used cars. Not for houses in New York yet. No. Jesse's waiting for that ticket to come in. Wow. 3% in June compared with a year earlier.

Thanks in part to easing prices for gasoline, airline, fares, used cars, groceries. The inflation figure the government reported Wednesday was down sharply from a 4% annual rate in May. So it's down from the beginning when it was at its highest, nine, and it's down from last month. That's good news, right? Retail is through the roof, from what I understand. It's still above the Federal Reserve's 2% target,

but we're almost there now. From May to June, overall prices rose 0.2%. Not bad. Oh, up from just 0.1% in the previous months, but still comparatively mild. At the end of the day, it's the economy, stupid, right? But I don't know if that matters to people anymore. I think people need to see emails. Economy's stupid, right?

But I don't know if that matters to people anymore. I think people need to see emails. They got to see emails, and they want to know what's going on with the Burisma board. They want to nail Hunter Biden. I mean, dude, you turn on the news, these guys, because it's salacious, so it sucks you in more.

But nobody talks about, like, policies or making healthcare affordable or anything that actually will change your life anymore. It's just all personality driven, uh, roast battles. It really is. It really is. So good luck out there. I mean, good luck out there because if, if people were smart, all they would go is look at the economy and they go, hey, that looks pretty good. But people follow all these narratives. But at the end of the day, that's what the democratic slogan used to be when Carvel coined it. It's the economy,

stupid. When he got Clinton in there in a very center right country, you know, the very center right country. And then they got Libby Bill in there. It's the talk about the economy, stupid, the economy, stupid. It's what people care about their own pockets the most, you know, but now you got all this stuff on the ballot. Like, they're going to talk about Democratic cities going to shit. You're going to talk about migrants taking up hotels, and all that stuff is valid stuff. They're going to talk about transsexuals, transgendered women.

Did you hear me, YouTube? Google, I'll say it again. They will talk about trans women that are women. They will talk about trans women that are women. They will talk about them. Okay? And they are beautiful, strong, transgendered, cis women. And they're going to talk about them. You got the talking points, huh?

Yeah, I got the talking points, man. I got the talking points. I know what to say and what not to say. But, you know, the religious religious rights making a comeback now. They're going like, you know, they think that there's a groomer behind every door. Here's the thing. You go outside. Most things are chill. Here's the irony of it. Most things are chill unless you live by a luxury hotel in New York City, and then it's just overflowing with illegal immigrants. So outside things are chill. Things are still pretty chill, except at the Martha restaurant. Martha restaurant has been replaced by Martha the Migrant,

who I will have dinner with on my birthday. But if you didn't know, that's a pretty interesting thing to think that before this election, so I guarantee you he's going to be going hard on that. And of course, Trump's going to be going hard on Biden and he's going to have a bunch of mic drops. But I just, it's going to be a struggle. It's going to be a struggle for Trump

to win over people talking about San Francisco because people don't give a shit about San Francisco. They don't live in San Francisco. They're like, that's San Francisco's problem. He's going to talk about that. He's going to talk about the border. He'll get a lot on that from Texas, but he already wins Texas. So to win this diverse country, you've got to appeal to the...

There used to be 50,000 people that listened to this podcast, which now I think is what, 40,000 people? I don't even know what they are. But I hope you're here for some good entertainment. And I hope you'll join me on my birthday with Marta at a restaurant called Marta, which is very funny. It actually is called Marta. The restaurant's just called Marta.

Marta will shutter after nine years of operation. You know you know behind doors he's just saying a couple slurs what's his name the mayor danny meyer danny meyer behind the story's going god damn yeah there he is you know he's Sounds like a Carlos Mencia special from 2006. Goddamn. Oh, man. I don't want to bring it up again. I just want to say that a woman is suing the restaurant Eataly for slipping on a piece of prosciutto. I have nothing to add to this at all. You've never been to Eataly? To Eataly? There's one in Gramercy Park. to add to this at all. You've never been to Italy? To Italy?

There's one in Gramercy Park. It's pretty awesome, actually. It started by... Oh, it's like a good restaurant with a cheesy fucking name. Italy. Yeah, Italy. The redhead one.

The name makes me want to throw my head into my ass. Mario Batali. Remember that guy? One of the original cancer guys? Yeah, sexually. He liked to assault women in bathrooms. This his thing he put this together it's like an italian it's like a mall with all these different italian uh oh so this isn't a restaurant this is more like a cheesy american version of what italy is kind of yeah by a fat sexual assaulter yeah Yeah. It's perfect America.

Mario Batali, I mean, I think he, I went to Barolo. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't, I wasn't blown away. I was not blown away. He had different levels. I went to a few of his restaurants. Some of them were really good. Yeah.

I mean, you know, if you left your wife along with him, he's going to corner her in a bathroom. Guy liked to drink and get handsy. Yeah. But that's okay. He's a genius. I get he's a fat genius that cooks. That's why we have a whole channel

dedicated to feeding our face. Everyone's fat. Everyone's on Ozempic and now they're going to sue Ozempic because everyone's nauseous. Because Ozempic makes you nauseous. Yeah, that's what they got to do to stop you from eating

because you were fat. So what did they think it did? It just magically, it makes you nauseous so you don't eat it basically gives you depression now that everyone's trying to sue ozempic so the plaintiff alice cohen sounds fat she lost her balance because she's fat approached the area she slipped and fell on a piece of prosciutto on the floor, injuring her left ankle, resulting in a fracture, the lawsuit said. The court filing says she suffered a sprain

and a distal fibula. She had a fracture in her foot. She had medical bills in the excess of $7,500. God bless America. Dude, you sprayed your ankle. You have to sue to pay for it. You get your ankle fixed, it's $7,500. I mean, dog, you could stay how many nights

in a five-star hotel? You could eat, I mean, $7,500, you could put a down payment on it, fucking Tesla. But that's what you got to spend for someone to help you with your ankle. And people aren't supposed to say it's because doctors want boats. Doctors want boats. Okay, it is what it is. And I'm not saying they don't deserve it, but $7,500 is what it costs her to fix her dumb ankle. She suffered from the loss of a consortium of his wife.

What does that mean? Oh, her husband's getting in on it. He suffered from the loss of being able to hang out with his wife. Oh, that's great. What was the guy's name from last week, Vinny? What was he? Hey, my name is Boyd. I represent fucking these dancers who got hurt by Lizzo.

They hurt Lizzo, hurt her feelings. I got another client out there in Boston, and her husband is upset because her fucking fat wife fell on prosciutto. Is it possible to slip on a piece of prosciutto? Sure. I don't think it's possible. Prosciutto is not slippery, man. I think you know what she did?

I think she went like this. You think it fell out of her sandwich? I think it fell out of her sandwich. I think she really cased out the joints so over the cameras were and was able to block it with her fat body. This sounds like a fat crime to me. Ron Zambrino.

Ron Zambrino. How you doing? My name's Ron Zambrino from Garden City, Long Island. I will get you a bag remember my motto you gotta claim i got a bag for you i get your bag wow so um it's three story it's three stories of italian food yeah they got all different stations they got like a cannoli station. Different restaurants, a coffee bar.

Yeah. Mozzarella station. Pastry lab. It's a real Guido fest. It's like the San Gennaro's feast every day. Yeah, but it's a little high end. A little classier, yeah. You feel good about yourself walking around there.

And no workers in there are Italian. No. No, nobody's italian oh well we wish her well we wish her and her husband ronald i know ronald has suffered greatly from not having to hear his wife talk or hear her breathe while she watches tv yeah nice but it probably was for him to get a fucking break from hearing for him to not have to get up to wipe custard off her chin after she face fucks a key lime pie a supermarket key lime pie that she opens up

she opens the plastic and tin foil and just face fucks it and then she goes oh god and then they found out she had diabetes so they needed some money and they figured we're gonna we're gonna fucking sue italy all these freaking hootie tooties we

sit and eat the olive garden every day all these hootie tooties up there in italy we're gonna make them pay okay just because i i will still go for the endless infinite breadsticks. Fat people will just make the decision to go because they just offer a better deal quantity-wise. Yeah, the never-ending pasta bowl. The never-ending pasta bowl. I mean, who wants a never-ending pasta bowl? And they just market it to people like they're just killing people.

They're just killing people and they go, hey man, it's up to you. But you know, the problem is some people are like depressed and they just won't stop themselves. And then we got to pay for their goddamn health care costs. There's got to be a scale when you walk in Olive Garden and says you have to be under, I'll be fair, you have to be under 240 to eat here.

That's American, right? In France, it would be like, you got to be under 190 pounds to eat here. But we'll go American. We're inflated for American weights. You have to be under 190 pounds to eat here. But we'll go American. We'll inflate it for American weights. You have to be under 240 pounds to eat here. Right. Right?

I guess we'd have to work out height, too, because, you know, some guy may come in and be 300, but he's like, you know, we'd have to work it out. Yeah, if you're over 240, you get the never-ending. Fuck it. Just give it the eyeball test. Give it the eyeball test. If someone's fucking, if someone's gut is hanging over their belt buckle,

say, get out of here, fatty. Go get a juice. They could just do the never-ending salad bowl. Yeah, give him a free smoothie. Give him a free smoothie. What was our old mayor? I blocked his name out. And he's like, are you telling me I can get free fries?

Can I get a COVID thing? Yeah, what's his face? What's his name? What's his new name? Wilhelm. Wilhelm. Wilhelm Weissensnitzel. Bill de Blasio. Bill de Blasio. Fake name! Is anyone real anymore?

I don't know what to tell you. I don't know anything about what these scientists are doing to be able to read your mind, but this sounds wild. So, this is a real article in The Guardian. So they say the breakthrough raises hopes that musicality of natural speech can be restored in patients with disabling neurological conditions. Now, of course, that can be the case,

and hopefully it is, but you know who we're talking about here. We're talking about human beings. So the buck never stops at the good. It never stops at the good. Oh, the internet's here. We can communicate. We can share information.

Take your dick out. So they've reconstructed Pink Floyd's Another Brick in the Wall by eavesdropping on people's brainwaves. The first time a recognizable song has been decoded from recordings of electrical brain activity. This is so wild. This is so wild. So basically they'll be able to,

if they've been able to do this, it means they're not far off at all. Because all they got to do is match the waves to the words and it's a wrap. They're not far off from being able to actually read your mind. And they say, the hope is that doing this could ultimately help to restore the musicality of natural speech in patients who struggle to communicate because of disabling neurological conditions such as a stroke or whatever and also be able to eavesdrop on your brain and find out if you're an impure homosexual. If you really believe trans women are women, or if you believe trans women are not women, or if you cheated on your wife, imagine your wife can read one of these things. This is like a real lie detector test.

This is a real lie detector test. Crime will, they'll get the right guy every time after this, they'll just get the right guy. It'll be funny to watch them lie too. Like I like this guy. I think he was in Wisconsin or something. I don't remember where he is, but he had some woman. I was Oregon,

I think. And he had some women, a woman in his basement and he pleaded not guilty, which I just, it made me laugh when I read the headline that he just goes, I mean, they found his torture. The headline was funny. It's like, a man accused of holding woman captive in Oregon torture cell in his basement. It's like, dude, they're in your house. They saw the torture cell. They found the girl. And he's just going like,

torture cell. They found the girl. And he's just going like, I didn't do it. Oh, wait, this is good. He accused. So he was accused of holding a woman captive in a makeshift cell. And he also appeared on Judge Judy. So he's somewhat of a celebrity with children's mother. I don't know what that will. And Judge Judy ruled in favor of him in the 2018 episode and ordered the woman identified as his ex-fiance to pay him $2,500 for destroying his property. Nobody saw that this guy was going to be a problem, but apparently he became a problem. Much like child actors, after his fame, things went south for his name is Ngozi Zuberi, who goes by the alias Sikima, or Justin Hithe. And so he's a sociopath. He's got a bunch of different names. And he was arrested after the woman escaped and was able to flag down help.

He was charged with one count of interstate kidnapping. And he's been linked to four violent sexual assaults in at least four states without detailing locations. I mean, who are the people booking? What do you got to do to get on Judge Judy? What kind of vetting process is Judge Judy? no more than five. No more than five across three states. No more than five sexual assaults and six states. That's where we draw the line. But if you've had four and three, that works for me. Torture chamber in your basement, not my business.

Have you used it? No? Okay. You're ready to talk to this fucking dumb judge, this TV judge. It's just great that he pleaded not guilty. It's funny to me. He's just going, no, no, no, no, no, this didn't happen. It's not mine. It's not my torture chamber.

So I don't know. I don't know why I sidetracked on that, but I just thought it was a funny headline when I saw it. You know, there's an FBI agent talking about it, but this guy's bad news. But it's really funny that he, how come so many serial killers get on these shows? Remember there was that other guy who was on the dating game show. There was some serial killer who was on a dating game show. Oh, there's the torture chamber. They just showed a picture of it. So in the video, it came up. Yeah.

Oh. Yeah. Looks like a Brooklyn one-bedroom. Yeah. Looks like this apartment. Yeah. I mean, look, he gave her a bottle of water, it looks like. Yeah. He let her drink

can you imagine how did she escape that i probably was probably guys probably a really good like rapist but like not great with drywall i don't know if those two things some they're not they don't necessarily go together you know he probably was like learned it on youtube and she probably just pushed that drywall back and it just came down. He's watching tutorial videos. He was probably going, yeah, because these guys are never that bright. He's going like, I'm going to the supermarket.

Don't you try anything fishy. You stay in there and be quiet. And then she heard the door close and she just went and pushed the wall down. It was like, ah, it wasn't even nailed in. It's like a Hollywood set. Anyway, where were we before we got sidetracked? We were talking about

reading the mind. People don't understand how scary it is. You're freaked out by this, right? A little bit. Yeah, because they're going to use it. I mean, the military's going to use it to read people's minds. That part's great.

I like that. They get a spy or something, but it never ends there. Right. It's like, you know, it's just people will use it for whatever it can do. Yeah. And if they can tell what kind of person you are, if you're lying, they're going to do that. There'll be, yeah, it's a real lie detector test. Cause you can't even control your own thoughts sometimes. Sometimes you can't. That's the problem. They'll go, hey, didn't you think that you were just, didn't you just think that you were going to, you know, throw your wife in a river?

You're like, yeah, every day. That doesn't mean I'm going to do it. You know? That's why I always was interested in that, just from a legal standpoint. I was interested in that, you know, Charles Hansen. What was his name? Oh, the pedophile guy?

Pedophile guy, because the guys would show up, but they didn't do anything yet. To catch a predator. Yeah, to catch a predator. So I always legally wondered, but I guess it's illegal to even talk to a minor in a sexual way, right? Yeah, didn't they have text exchanges? Yeah, so that's why they got him.

But as far as, like, conceivably a guy could be on his way over going like, I'm not, I'm something wrong with me. I'm not doing this. Uh, you know, cause you're lost in like a fantasy world. Like when you're doing that, you know? So I always wondered legally, like the guy didn't do anything yet, but then I found out it's like, you're already committed to crime. So basically they're just doing it for the TV show. They could have showed up at his house. That's what I found out, which is funny because the TV show makes you makes you think like, wait, he didn't commit the crime yet. Right. Isn't that entrapment? Like legally?

I remember thinking that and then I read about it like, oh, yeah, I committed crime. Of course, they're pedophiles. I'm not, you know, it's bad. But I'm saying like legally, I was like, what? You know, and then you're like, yeah. So essentially they just that's for the show. That's like they throw the cookies out there. um but i'm saying like legally i was like what you know and then you're like yeah so essentially they just that's for the show that's like they throw the cookies out there they get the fucking you know 23 year old girl who looks 14 in the hat you know and they get the curtain dude if you go into the kitchen you see that there's a curtain yeah like it's an open concept

kitchen but there's a black curtain up there. You go, is there a backstage to this house? Because there is. There's a whole camera crew and a tall Norwegian looking white guy back there ready to come out there with a goddamn clipboard. Because they would have easily just could have gone to the guy's house and said, we have these exchanges. You were intent on doing this. And they got him. They're like, let him show up with the pizza. Let them show up with the pizza and snacks and go, you got me. Yes. Yes. So yeah, but people have thoughts. So it's going to be a weird new world. And like, yeah, people look at China. There's this video on Twitter we came across where in China, this is a true thing in cities, if you jaywalk, they will take a picture of your face right there and post it

everywhere, all over the city, as someone who jaywalked, and it lowers your social credit score. So the social credit score in China is a real thing. And they find you. And you're fined. Through your digital wallet. Through your digital wallet, Through your digital wallet. They just deduct it. Right.

Without any control. Like, you know, they just take the money. They just take the money. Yeah. They just take it. No due process. No, hey, man, I was chasing a robber away from a woman. You know, and there it is.

Look at it. It's real. This is a real thing. That's crazy, man. It's facial recognition immediately display your face on a public board of shame it will automatically deduct your fine from your digital wallet holy shit man now i guess this will have there'll be it'll be orderly though but boring right and scary and scary right because like it never stops there yeah you know like let's say you're a political activist and they just say you know what just yeah you know

behind the scenes yeah just start you know oh yeah we took you we got you done we got you jaywalking i didn't jaywalk oh the camera got you yeah yeah start manipulating shit behind the scenes. Yeah, of course. This is bad. How does this end, man? It doesn't end good. They're powerful, right? We got to entice them into an arms race and break them. That's the only way to stop this juggernaut. Well, we can't let it happen here.

That's the one thing. Well, yeah, it probably will happen here, right? Yeah. We can't let this technology here we already have facial recognition on the phone and everything yeah but we can't stand for this shit yeah well i don't think america that's part that's the part where you're going like i kind of am glad like some citizens are kind of armed and shit that's when you're going like that's at that point you're going like that. At that point, you're going like, still the military's got tanks.

But the military's made up of citizens too. Like the thing is, here's the difference in why it won't happen here and why it's important to have rule of law and not be just a cult of personality, follow someone for their personality, is because our system is based on something different than their system's based on.

Their system's based on egalitarianism and authoritarianism. Ours is not. Ours is like you're in four years and you're gone. So I don't know. Some people, it just doesn't feel good. You got a guy saying, you know, the election was stolen from me and another side going, you know, you tried to term limits. We're throwing this whole document out and, you know, China's got a lot of good ideas.

Recently, I think Trump complimented Xi. You can pull it out. He called him a very strong leader who controls, who rules with an iron fist. You can pull it out. He called him a very strong leader who controls, who rules with an iron fist. And he said it not pejoratively. Yeah, he compliments Z. He compliments everybody, though.

Yeah, yeah. Anyone who likes him, he compliments back. Yeah. But even still, you're making excuses. You're like, still, you're right.

You're going, hey, look, he compliments everybody. Didn't he do the North Korean kid? Yeah, he's great, too. If he stinks, I'm strong. He's strong. I mean, yeah, he praised them.

He praised them. We love each other, he said. But yeah, no, recently he said he's very brilliant and he rules a country of a billion people with an iron fist. Like he was complimenting him. So, I mean, maybe that's a good, is that a good thing? I don't know. Maybe it's a good thing.

Maybe he could take some of Z's stuff. Maybe they can sit down and really figure it out. I don't know. You know, I don't know what he's doing. What is he, 77? Is Dick not working anymore? Like, what is he doing? What does he want this for?

I'm voting for Vivek. I'm voting for Vivek Saswami. He's got to go one name. You got to be Cher. You got to be Cher, dog. The last name, it's, you know, Hollywood is now in Washington and you need a stage name.

Let's come up with one. Vivek. Vivek Shwarma. No. Vivek Butter Chicken. No. Vivek? Vivek Steel.

Go the Stalin route. You know, Stalin meant steel. That wasn't his real name. Right. It's Chicken. No. Vivek? Vivek Steel. Go the Stalin route. You know, Stalin meant steel. That wasn't his real name. Right. It's marketing. Yeah. Vivek Steel. I like it.

Yeah. Vivek Iron. Vivek Jones. Vivek Johnny. Vivek. Vivek Camazo. Vivek Obama. Vivek Obama.

How about Vivek Vivek? I like that. Vivek Vivek. Vivek Vivek. Yeah, lose the Ramaswami. Ramaswami. Yeah, you can't have Vivek Ramaswami. Vivek Vivek's on his way here.

Vivek Vivek's got to win. How about Vivek Vivek Vivek? Yeah, three. How about Vivek Vivek? Vivek. Vivek. Vivek. Yo, my boy Vivek. How about Vivek, Vivek, Vivek. Yeah, three. How about Vivek, Vivek? Vivek. Vivek. Vivek. Yo, my boy, Vivek.

How about Vivek V? I like it. Yeah. Gary. You use a little bit of that. Right. Self-made. Instead of V, how about Gary?

Vivek R. Vivek Rogan. How about Vivek? Vivek Rogan. Vivek Rogan. Vivek Rogan. Vivek Rogan. Yeah. Here we are. It's a lot of fun out there.

There's a lot of fun out there. There's a lot of fun to look forward to. They're going to allow television cameras in the Atlanta trial for Trump. You think Johnny Depp, Amber Heard did big numbers. You know, Netflix and Bob Iger are coming together to try to strike a deal with the writers to end this strike in Hollywood. But what they don't know is it doesn't matter. Whatever they write,

whatever they come up with, we will get slammed. We'll get slaughtered in the ratings to a Trump indictment trial in Georgia. Everyone will be glued to their TV. OJ, I mean, it'll, it'll, the record will be broken. The OJ trial will look like, it'll look like a Giannis Pappas hour compared to what the Trump numbers will do. A Trump trial in freaking, in Georgia? Unbelievable. They're televising it.

Here's a, someone writes, if you're looking for televised courtroom drama, you won't be disappointed. Um, they're banned, but that hasn't kept advocates, journalists,

and lawmakers from pushing reverse the decades old law that prohibits camera in federal courthouses. But didn't they say they are going to do it? Why televising the Trump? Oh, so they are televising it we'll see i'm not sure so it looks here trump's potential georgia trial could be the first one televised why do they want to do that

money money money money money at this point i think it's safe to say, man, that we, America, has really just become a shameless whore that'll do anything for a dollar. We really, there is no, nothing, we're a stripper. We're a stripper that Hunter Biden fucks in the ass, and then we yell at Hunter Biden. That's really what we are. And then we yell at Hunter Biden. That's really what we are. We will do anything. If there's a dollar bill behind it, we'll do it. I think that has finally come to full fruition where we're just a whore. We whore ourselves out for anything. Because what good is that going to do putting that trial on television? It's just going to be a circus and like, you know, it's like, but you know, all the, everyone's probably pressuring for it. Cause like, dude, this is our economy now. They're probably going, this is our economy now. Like you put that trial on, you put a lot of people to work, all the condoms, podcasters, uh, you know, college dropout thought leaders on Twitter. Uh, you know, it's like, everyone's getting their takes from like, like normal people now have, they didn't used to have access to like, um, other people who were stupid like them who could tell them what the news is.

And now they just go on Twitter and there's like just another guy like them going, this is what it is. And you're going to, I can understand it because you're also stupid and inexperienced and unexposed and have no idea what you're talking about and no experience in anything that you're also stupid and inexperienced and unexposed and have no idea what you're talking about and no experience in anything that you're saying. And people go, that's me too. So now I got my guy. Everyone's got their guy now that they go to because this is big money for everybody. We are a gossip economy now. And that's what it is, a gossip economy, and we're all doing different versions of The View. What's up, everybody? We have a new small

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