Yannis Pappas Hour - I Know My Standards Are Nuts

Episode Date: July 23, 2023

Imagine being a Kennedy who shoots smack off a cooked spoon, how much did ordinaries want to shoot smack with him! Should addicts in recovery be president? Yanni explains his minimum standard for rehabilitation executive office. Join us as we explore what side of the internet you live in, and how real internet culture actually is. Wasdadealis!  See Yanni do stand up, live Dates & Cities below All tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.com Paramount theater, Long Island Aug 17 Salt Lake City aug 4-5 Dallas Aug 24-26 Springfield l, MO sept 7-9 Calgary Sept 22–23 FORt Wayne, Indiana Sept 29-30 Red Bank, NJ Oct 14 San Fran Oct 27-28 New York City Nov 4 Providence Nov 10-11 Phoenix Nov 16-18 Spokane Dec 1-2 Tulsa Dec 8-9 Louisville Dec 15-16 Toronto March 23 Watch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQ Join our highlights page for highlight clips from the episodes: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykw New episodes every Sunday and new bonus episodes every Wednesday at https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator

What's up, everybody? Welcome to an all-new, brand-new episode of the Yonnas Pappas Hour. First, my live dates to come see me live. Guess what? Jordan Landing, Utah, August 4th and the 5th. Long Island, the Paramount Theater in Huntington, New York, August 17th. Dallas, Texas, August 24th through the 26th. Springfield, Missouri, September 9th through 7th.

Calgary, Alberta, September 22nd, 23rd. Fort Wayne, Indiana, September 29th and 30th. Red Bank, New Jersey, October 14th. San Fran, October 27th through the 28th. New York, Sony Hall, New York City, November 4th. Providence, November 10th and 11th. Phoenix, November 16th and 17th. Spokane, Washington, December 1st and 2nd.

Tulsa, December 8th and 9th. Louisville, December 15th and 16th. And the Royal Theater, Toronto, March 23rd. Also, I'll be doing Rogan's Club in Austin in October. That link will be going up soon. Now enjoy this episode. Patreon.com slash Giannis Papasour for bonuses as well. Down as poppers. What's up everybody? Welcome to the episode. It is nice to see you.

You know, no matter what we talk about, and no matter how good or bad this episode is, I think we are immune to growth. So, we're the, we're, I think we may be the population of podcasts that are unaffected by growth. So I don't know if there's a peer review studied on it, but I can tell you what the facts are. The facts, we have gotten smaller. So if growth was a virus, we can't catch it. Who knows? COVID, back in the news.

Internet culture is big in my life. I am big in internet culture because I spent a lot of time on the internet. To piggyback off of last episode, the internet has unleashed the demons of hell onto society. I'm all for closing those gates. I acknowledge, ironically, that I would have no career

without those demons from hell. But also, I think it bears pointing out that I'm not sure how real internet controversies are. I'm not sure if anyone outside of internet culture, and by that I mean, I can synonymously, I think that's synonymous with people who are chemically balanced, who are chemically balanced, have responsibilities, babies, lives, pay mortgage, have a job, have a 401k plan, have a job have a 401k plan have investments have a portfolio have uh have a stroller in their garage um have a doorman uh say hello to the mailman people who live in the real world i'm not even sure that they're aware that rfk j they're like, RFK, isn't that the guy who got shot by Sirhan Sirhan?

You're like, no, he's got a son. He's got a son who liked to shoot smack. I like saying it that way. Isn't it great that you're a Kennedy? Imagine being a Kennedy and cooking up a spoon. Dude, you know how when you're a drug addict, you make friends with other drug addicts because that's what you have in common?

Like, if you see a bunch of people walking down the street and they don't look like they belong together, they're either going to rob a bank, right? They're drug addicts or they're stand-up comedians. Those are the three groups you'll see. What are these people doing together? You'll see, like see a single mom, a 25-year-old black kid from Long Island,

and a kid in his 40s who's married with two kids. You're like, what are those three people doing together? They're going to an open mic. Or they're filming a new show for ABC. Or they're filming a new show for ABC. Or they're going door-to-door for Jehovah's Witnesses. Or they're about

to shoot a community college pamphlet. They're getting ready to be photographed on stairs like this with smiles. They can go CCNY or whatever. The place for everyone. Yeah, we'll take everybody.

That's about it. So drug addicts makes for strange breadfellows. Just are like makes for strange breadfellows you know just like war makes for strange breadfellows doing heroin makes for strange breadfellows two different people from different walks of life will become friends because they both like shooting smack

off a cooked spoon can you imagine though the thrill of shooting smack with RFK Jr., I'm showing up. If I have to choose my best friend, Larry just sounds like a guy who shoots smack.

My old smack buddy Larry or RFK Jr., I'm going for that extra buzz by seeing how I can get in the smack circle of a Kennedy. It's amazing. You got to go smack circle with Kennedy. It's amazing. You gotta go smack circle with Kennedy. It's gonna give you an extra adrenaline rush.

Extra little push. He's a celebrity. But knowing the history of that family, he's getting his own smack. He's getting his own smack. I'm not having no fentanyl spike smack

to take me out. Right. Right. Why? Right, he's gonna get good smack. Yeah, he's gonna get too good of a smack. Because everyone in that family goes down. They go down. That family can be called the Gra smacks. Yeah, he's going to get too good of a smack. Because everyone in that family goes down.

They go down. That family can be called the Gravities. Yeah, either they go down or there's a woman in their family who connected to them who just dies. And he has one of those. So you're thinking, okay, because Ted Kennedy was driving in a car and he drowned, some chick drowned in his car. JFK Jr. got in a helicopter with his wife.

Poor lady. Poor him. He was a great Kennedy. And, yeah, I mean, he decides to get into the fucking helicopter. He got into a private plane to fly, what, 25 minutes in absolute horrible weather. And he died. Or Hillary Clinton. Whatever.

Or Hillary Clinton killed him because she wanted to win the Senate. Whatever side of the internet you live in, it could be that as well there's no proof that she didn't kill him, right? Supposedly, you can't say she didn't because she can shape shift and she can turn into weather

some people believe that, I think Hillary Clinton can shape shift into clouds so maybe she shape shifted Into clouds He couldn't see Where's the horizon He smashed right into the water And then Hillary Clinton

She changed right back And was right in bed Right back into a pantsuit With her lesbian lover With her husband Somewhere else I think that's what's going on In that home in private

I think we got more of an Oprah Gale situation Yeah There's some woman there's some woman there's some woman named denise that is sharing a bed with hillary rotham clinton so there is always a kennedy uh tragedy and so ted kennedy's killed a woman in his car. JFK Jr. killed his wife flying a stupid plane in a stupid time. And RFK Jr.'s wife also died flying. She hanged herself.

Yeah, from a ceiling fan. She was flying from a ceiling fan. They were both airborne. Another airborne Kennedy. And also Ted Kennedy's, the one he killed, at some point she was in the air as well. Yeah. She flew out of the car. Mm-hmm.

Or was she in the car and submerged? Flew off a bridge. Yeah, they flew off a bridge. So at one point they were all airborne. All airborne. They were all... The Kennedys like to die in the air. They got trained by Evel Knievel.

So, yeah, his wife hanged herself off of a... In the barn, I think. Is it hanged or hung? It's hanged. It's hanged? I don't know why. It sounds weird. It should be hung.

She hung herself. Yeah, hung. But it's hanged. I don't know why that is, but technically you're supposed to say hang. I sound stupid when I say it like that. This is the one time I've said something correctly that sounded like I said something wrong, but I actually said something correctly. No, I asked for my own thing. Yeah, I know. But I'm

just thinking in my life, usually I would have said the wrong thing. Usually it would have been hung. And I said, hey, it's the opposite day for you. Today's opposite. I'm right. I am right. Just like RFK Jr. is right about how COVID

does not target Jews and Chinese. So he claims it's an ethnically targeted bioweapon. Now, there's a video of him saying it, and he quotes a study, and the study apparently is from 2020. Who knows if it's peer-reviewed? Maybe it's not.

But when you read the study, it sounds like, hey, we looked at some stuff and maybe this. And this was early on in the pandemic. So I don't think anyone could possibly make any conclusion about anything. Off the top of my head, I can think of one Askenaji Jew who had a fever for 26 days of 103 with COVID. How is that different from every other day of his life? That's a good point. Here's what it is.

It probably saved his life because he's used to feeling uncomfortable. So he had 103 and he's probably going, this feels just like it is to not be first in the line. And I'm used to this. So I've built up a tolerance to feeling annoyed. It's too hot out. I'm not first in line. Where's my food?

Things like this. Yes. Probably helped him make it through the 26 days with like 100, 200, 300.

He said he was like, he was losing his mind. He wanted to kill himself. And then he told me he took hydrochloroquaxin or whatever it is and that helped or whatever.

Or maybe his fever after 26 days broke. I don't know. But he had a fever for a fucking everyday fever. That must have been fucking wild. So who knows? But RFK Jr., at the very least, it was, at the very least,

if you're running for president, it's probably sloppy to just go out on a limb and be like, I know for a fact that the Chinese and the United States are both creating bioweapons that are ethnically targeted. You probably want to play that. You want to be safe. You want to play that card a little closer to the chest. Again, again, I think we said it last episode. I think that's an off-the-record statement

to Rogan in his waiting room. I don't think you wait for reporters to be around. I don't think. Here's the deal. Can we have a president who really wants to be around. I don't think... Here's the deal. Can we have a president who really wants to be doing smack be president? Is that a layup for Putin?

Going, hey, you're going to sit down for the peace talks with Putin and Putin's going, nice to meet you. You're a candidate. I have a lot of respect for the candidates.

Also, go to the bathroom. I have a little present for you. What do you mean? I'd love to go to the bathroom. I have a little present for you. What do you mean? I'd love to go to the bathroom. With some candy there. We'll give you a mouthwash, a mint, and also something else you may like that'll help the negotiations.

He goes in. There's just a guy already cooking it. You know, you see RFK just start to sweat. Next thing you know, he comes out relaxed. And Putin goes, will you stop sending weapons to Ukraine? And he just goes, absolutely. As long as you keep providing me with this good, pure, uncut Russian smack. I don't know if you could trust a smack addict with a country dog.

Now listen, I don't have a problem with anyone who's a recovery, alcoholic, or in recovery. I don't have a problem. I think it's great. You're actually the most courageous person in the world. You're working on yourself. Here's the deal. I'm just not sure you should be president of the United States.

I know my standards are high. You could do anything else. You could be my lawyer. You can be an athlete. You can be an accountant. You could drive a train. Anything else, dog? I just don't know if I want my president to be someone who has to put effort into turning down a smack off a cooked spoon.

That's just, is that crazy? I also would like it if my president wasn't senile. I know my standards are nuts. I also would like it if my president wasn't absolutely senile and had a corrupt crackhead son. Yes. I know I have high standards. I also would like it if my president didn't have

an active, visible personality disorder. Donald Trump is a borderline person. He has a personality disorder. It's like he's got narcissistic personality disorder. And he breathes like Michael Jackson. All Putin has to do is say, I like your suit and I think you're a strong leader. And he'll go, we'll do whatever you want. Because the right answer is complimenting me.

So how have we gotten to this point where our nominees are, they represent sort of the worst of us? And everyone's like, he's an environmental lawyer. It's like, look, he says some stuff that's great, but how low are our standards? He's an environmental lawyer it's like look he says some stuff that's great but like how low are our standards he's an environmental lawyer if their environment's an MTA bathroom yeah or if the environment is protecting weed plants he's done

he says some stuff I agree with but you know so does Trump so does Biden everyone says something but if Biden goes it's hot out today I'm like I agree it is hot today today, I'm like, I agree. It is hot today. He's right for change. But it's like, agree or disagree, at this point, I don't care.

I would take a president I disagree with if the guy was just sort of impressive and had a clean record. At this point, I want a president who's not being indicted, I don't want a president who's not being indicted, who is not having his family show him around old folks' homes to see which one he likes, and who wasn't in prison for smoking crack or weed or alcohol or coke. The kid liked it all. He liked it all. He really sampled everything. Let's get rid of the election, and let's just test out our presidents how we give sobriety tests. Why can't it be a

reality show like survivor let's put them through tests let's put them on screen you know it's like a strongman competition meets survivor meets i don't know the apprentice and you put them through all these tests right it's like a game show so they got to do like a they got to do like a wheel of fortune type of game show where it proves what they know then you got to do like a Wheel of Fortune type of game show where it proves what they know. Then you got to do like a secret kind of intel where you test their character where they don't know they're being filmed, and they do that. And we just watch it like the Truman Show,

and we pick the person who does the best in these sort of well-thought-out challenges that they have to pass. And the only one I think that probably RFK Jr. would pass is the monkey bars because kids cut. He's strong. Yeah. He did the best thing you could do as an addict

is he put that addictive personality into the gym. He's 69 years old and he looks great. He looks great. He'd be doing dips at the Lincoln Memorial. Now, here's the thing. He's probably the best candidate. I think if all things considered,

if he's a little sloppy and says, hey, maybe the Chinese... Here's the funny part. He is the best candidate, but when he gives the State of the Union, my TV's going to have to be on full blast. Yeah, I love you people of the United States. Here's the

thing about RFK. Is, you know, he's probably the best candidate because what are the other options? God, I was going to say something good and I fucking forgot it. Shit, I hate when that happens. It's all right, dog. Keep on trucking.

You got it. Yeah, I feel like he's the best candidate. I feel like Joe Biden. I forgot what I was going to say. He has a family history, obviously. He's got a family history. He's in shape, which is good. In shape, yes.

He's in shape, which is good. He's talked to Joe Rogan, the people's president. Yeah. It's a pretty low standard of people we have to pick with. Here's the nominees. Haley, Rama Swamy, who I was on Fox News with. If I'm on a news program with you,

you shouldn't be, if I'm in the same room with you, we were on the same show on Fox like two weeks ago, by the way, which was huge for my in-laws, okay? If you're on Fox

for a family in Long Island, that's like a kid playing for the Red Sox growing up in Boston. That was the Super Bowl for you. That's big time for Long Island. And you went home and they greeted you with ice cream cake. That is big time for Long Island. That's like being a kid from Boston and playing for the Sox.

Yeah. The family is very happy about that. Yeah, they gave you the ring like an Irishman. Yes. So I was on a show with him, so that should get him out there. Scott, now he's a Republican senator, a congressperson. Is he also the one who got caught in a hotel room? No, no, no.

That was Florida. Florida. He lost. Is he a Democrat too? He's a Democrat, that guy. And he lost, and he's like out of the picture now. He lost to DeSantis very narrowly. And he was hiding a lot.

He was hiding a lot. He was hiding a lot. It was right under the surface. Mainly his sexuality. I mean, Jews, sexuality, I mean, I think he was passed out from, I think he was doing fentanyl.

I mean, he was like doing hard drugs with a male prostitute with a married family. He was caught in a motel room and you're going, wow. First of all,

I don't even, I don't think that's a knock in Florida. I think you're going, hey, this guy likes to party. We like to party. That's elevation. This is a guy, you know how they say you want to elect someone you can drink a beer with? That's a big part of electability. Can I drink a beer with this person? I think in Florida it's like, can I picture myself

passing out with this guy while we bank prostitutes in a motel room after we do hard drugs? How long can he sway? 30, 40, 50 minutes? How, can I picture myself passing out with this guy while we bank prostitutes in a motel room after we do hard drugs? How long can he sway? 30, 40, 50 minutes? How much can I have another life that my wife doesn't know about? That's very Florida. Doing fentanyl in Florida is like having a not-for-profit organization. It's like drinking a beer with the guy.

In Florida, it's like drinking a beer. I can drink a beer with this guy. with the guy. In Florida, it's like drinking a beer. I can drink a beer with this guy. I can picture myself passing out in a hotel room

also with a male prostitute as I hide my sexuality and call myself confused and put the onus on my wife. I remember that article. Oh my God, that article was so funny. I think we did an episode

about it. The article was about how his wife, how the incident forced his wife to be accepting of LGTBQ issues. Yeah, you got to spin it. I mean, totally put him off the hook. It's like, oh, she's the bad person here

because she was very closed-minded about her husband being who he says he is and not fucking other people. He threw his wife right under the bus. Yeah, but you know what? It's a lesson for her. It was a lesson for her on being able to accept, being able to accept other sexualities

and be open-minded to what her husband was struggling with. I mean, that article was just like, I was like, wow, we're in the twilight zone at this point. We're in the twilight zone. It was a comedy sketch. That article was like, you can't add comedy to comedy. And when you see articles like that, that's the reason why there is a Breitbart.

That's the reason why there is a Breitbart that's the reason why there is a Newsmax because you do you do so something so blatantly outrageous that it opens a market for a reactionary paper to go fuck you because nobody else is going fuck you that's bullshit so it opens it up just like any conspiracy theory gets opened up when you deny anything that may be obvious. Right. So you're going, JF Kennedy. There's no way JFK was assassinated. We did it.

We looked into it. You're like, you go like this. Right. They go, we did a whole council. We did it. What was it called? The JFK assassination panel or whatever. There's not.

It was one gunman. You're going, was it? Right. You go. Then you go. I think he wasn't having sex with girls in the White House. You're going, was it right? You go, uh, then you go, uh, I think Kate wasn't having sex with girls in the white house.

What are you talking about? Yeah. You go, yeah, you hide that. And then you go, um, you know,

COVID, uh, started in Wuhan. There happened to be a COVID lab there where they were doing gain of function research. Um, this virus was more transmissible than any virus in the history of humanity. Um,

and it came from bats and it was humanity. And it came from bats. It was very strong. And it came from a bat. There's no possible way it came from. Not at all. The laboratory that's right there. Look at these facts right here. We asked Bruce Wayne himself. Yeah, you're insulting people at that point.

And so then that opens it up for any conspiracy. Like maybe this is a bioweapon. Maybe it's being targeted. And the funny thing is people buy it and they don't take a second to think about up for any conspiracy. Like maybe this is a bioweapon. Maybe it's being targeted. And the funny thing is people buy it and they don't take a second to think about it for a second. So here's what I thought about. I was like, okay, RFK, who's also very upset about the lockdowns, right?

He thought they were draconian. You wouldn't be able to tell, but he's upset. He was upset, right? He was saying that's bad. This was bad. It was like Nazi Germany. They locked you down, blah, blah, blah. And then I go, okay, so

you're upset. You thought the government overreacted and they did it to, you know, to be bad. You think the pharmaceutical companies were just trying to make money poisoning people, whatever you believe, right? He's open to all that shit.

Vaccines are bad, all that, right? They cause autism. He's in on all that. He's in. I mean, fucking he is believe Right He's open to all that shit Vaccines are bad All that Right They cause autism He's in on all that He's in I mean fucking he is in He's in on the frogs The chemical Azartane

Call him Making kids Non-binary He's in all of it Right Because of some studies he read Or whatever And there is evidence out there

I guess Somebody did a study On the Azartane Stanford study Or whatever That maybe makes the frogs gay That was an actual study on something like that. I don't know if it's a foregone conclusion that it makes humans trans. I don't know. But he's in, right? He doesn't say, I don't know. He goes, I read it and I'm in. I believe it. That's the thing. That's what people

don't understand. It's like, can anyone say maybe? There was a study. There's always studies, and there's contravening studies. They do more, and then it ends up not being true. Everyone's always looking for a cause. They do a study. Those studies end up being flawed. They redo it. But RFK goes all the way in. He goes, it's a trail.

He goes, I read one study, and then blah, blah. So here's where it gets funny. So you're telling me you're against the lockdowns, that the lockdowns were bad, but then you're also telling me that COVID was an ethnically targeted bioweapon. So you go on, wait a second.

So if it's an ethnically targeted bioweapon sent to maim white and blacks, because that's what he said. Isn't it a good thing that the government locked us down to protect us from it and then you go and then you just look at him and you go and that's like and then he goes you know and you're just like someone playing the walking dead what's that sound you're telling yeah you're telling me a hundred percent you believe it was an ethically targeted bioweapon to kill white and black Americans, Western people, I guess, which Africa did pretty well because they have a younger population

or something like that. And the anti-vaxxers will say, oh, they didn't have the vaccine as much. That's why. Who knows, right? Vaccine obviously wasn't as efficacious as they said it was. Good word. So there's something there. Good word.

Sebastian, that's for you. It wasn't as efficacious as they said it was. Good word. So there's something there. Good word. Sebastian, that's for you. But then you're going like, so why, if it's an ethnically targeted bioweapon, wouldn't the right thing for the government to protect its citizens,

wouldn't it, to protect your citizens, wouldn't it be the best thing would be to lock down? Be like, whoa, this thing's dangerous. It's an ethnically targeted bioweapon. It's sent here to maim and kill you. Let's lock down so you don't catch it until we can figure out some sort of antidote that mitigates it. That would seem like the right move.

That is a smart move. Not even, and don't even, I'd go RFK, don't even think about what happened. I'm saying hypothetically, create the scenario that you're proposing. There's a bioweapon that's ethnically targeting whites and blacks. Because that's what he said.

You know, it's amazing too. It's like this Trump effect when people who love RFK, you say like, that's what he said. They go, he didn't say that.

And you, Lord, watch it. It's like the, it's like watching the Rodney King video and they go like, well,

we don't know what he was saying to those cops. You know, you know, it's like you have the evidence and you're going like, dog,

I'm, and people are like, you're like, here you go. What's his, I'm And people are like, you're like, here you go What's his name? George Floyd They go, George Floyd was a bad person And he held a gun And you're going, yeah, that is all true But the guy did murder him

With his fucking knee on his neck And they go, I didn't He didn't die from that It was his ankle It was his knee It was like that guy, he was on fentanyl You're like, maybe he was But also also he was going, I can't breathe. I need help.

And the guy was kneeing on his neck. I saw the video. And you're going, ah, but it started at a weird time. They keep going like, it started at a weird time. How were you feeling when you watched it? How you were feeling when you watched it can influence your perception of reality. I mean, it's like every excuse. It's a murder video, dog. It's not Goodfellas. It's a snuff feeling when you watched it can influence your perception of reality. I mean, it's like every excuse. It's a murder video, dog. It's not Goodfellas.

It's a snuff film. I watched it. It's a snuff film. Okay? There's an objective reality and I watched it. The guy fucking was kneeling on his neck. I don't care if whatever the police department's protocol was. I don't care if he was on fentanyl. I don't care if he was

a criminal. I don't care if he had on fentanyl i don't care if he was a criminal i don't care if he had covid those probably were all contributing factors i'll even give you that though but he still was saying i can't breathe get off my neck and he didn't get off his neck and the guy died so the guy kneeling on his neck killed him that's what the autopsy said fucking that's what my eyes said from seeing it right so if your eyes are saying something you know it's true because they usually only can see my nose first and foremost yeah and then you watch rfk sitting there and you're going i heard him say it that's what he said he exactly said that uh you know i that that the united states and china are in a in a virus bioweapon arms race, and there's good evidence that COVID was a bioweapon

that targeted whites and blacks, right? And the people go, he didn't say it was. He said there's good evidence. You're going, we're parsing. I mean, what do you think he's saying? I mean, what am I supposed to imply by what he's saying? You know? Right?

And then he brings up that one study that mentions Ashkenazi and East Asian or whatever, and you're going, like, there's tons of studies. He picked that one. Why did he pick that one? Because it's funner. That one's fun. Can you look me in the eye and tell me

conspiracy theories aren't addictive? They're addictive. Do you not get a little bit of a chemical rush trying to figure out what's going on when you feel like you're a detective in it? It's a rush. Now, this kid doesn't do smack anymore, but you're telling me he doesn't get a little bit of a rush,

a little bit of a rush, drawing conclusions from the funner study that may have some funner, nefarious implications. Wow, it's a bioweapon that targets everyone but Jews and Chinese. That gets my adrenaline going a little bit. It has to. You know, people who have addictive personalities like to push it. They like to push.

Am I wrong, Jess? They like to push. They're adrenaline junkies. They like to push it. When you want to do 15 push-ups, he wants to do 100. Why? Because he really wants to shoot smack out of a cooked spoon. So because he can't shoot smack out of a cooked spoon. So because he can't shoot smack out of a cooked spoon,

he'll do a million push-ups where you'll do 100. He'll go to extremes. His personality is always extreme. He's looking for extremes. So he's always going to be attracted to the most extreme theories. He'll be looking for evidence. And you can see that in all his beliefs across the board. He doesn't just

stop at the COVID. He's got a bunch of conspiracies, right? So it's like, that's what I love about people who like conspiracies. They're never into just one, right? They're never into just one. They like them all. They kind of get into all of them.

They have fun with all of them. They don't just go like, hey man, 9-11 was fishy, I don't really know what happened, but that's about it. They go like, and also, and also.

They're like Girl Scout cookies. And also, yeah. And also, let's talk about Marilyn Monroe. You're like, we're all the way at Marilyn Monroe? That was a long time ago. And let's just not talk about that. Let's talk about Queen Elizabeth, and she was a man. And also, let's talk about Hamm about that. Let's talk about Queen Elizabeth and she was a man.

And also, let's talk about Hammurabi. Did he really have a code? Yeah. And now let's get into some conspiracies of why certain podcasts broke up. And they go, I got some theories. And you're going, wow, we're all the way over in podcasts now. Sounds like you love a good conspiracy. Sounds like you love a good, dare I say,

sounds like you love a good conspiracy as say sounds like you love a good conspiracy as much as you love getting to the bottom of something sounds like you love a good conspiracy dare I say maybe even a little more than what the truth might be because a good conspiracy theory is fucking fun

and it's also fun especially if you have an addictive personality, to say the thing that make people go, and see what happens. I know that because I say things that make people go, for a living, and it feels good. It feels good to get a reaction. So if I was someone who also liked shooting smack out of a spoon,

I just like phrasing it that way because it's funny. And I couldn't shoot smack out of a spoon, I just like phrasing it that way because it's funny. And I couldn't shoot smack out of a spoon anymore or else I'd kill myself. I might be inclined to say the thing that make people go, just for a rush. I'm just saying this could be playing a role, no? This is my theory. This is my theory.

He's replacing smack with politics. With conspiracy theories. Yeah, within politics. Yeah, because it's across the board. He's not just into one. He's into, you go like, when you read, you're like, he believes that. You're like, okay.

Oh, and also that. Oh, and you're like, wow. RFK's into a bunch of them, right? Now, conspiracy theories always have some kernel of truth in them, whatever, you know, or they're bred because someone was lying about something else and they were caught. So that opens it up.

It's sort of like when you have a friend and who you trusted and then you find out, you find out that he lied to you about one thing, right? Big. And then, so even when he's telling the truth about something later, you can't trust them because he lied about that one thing.

So portrayed. Yeah. You just feel betrayed. So you're like, now I can't trust you. The trust is gone. It's like even in a relationship. You cheat on a chick, and then you're like, you want to be faithful, and you are, but she doesn't trust you anymore, so the relationship is ruined.

That's the same thing. That's sort of the same principle. As to why people buy into conspiracies, because they catch the media lying about one thing and they're like, oh, if you were lying about that, then you could be lying about that. So that's going to make me distrust you more

and make me more prone to believe an alternative source. Now, I'd like to say, I'd like to remind everybody that an alternative source doesn't mean it's true. It means it's an alternative source. It means it's another piece of news from an alternative news organization. Now, people who know alternative music, you know that alternative music doesn't mean it's good music. It ain't always the best. It just means it's not traditional rock and roll.

Most of it is shit. Sometimes even worse than traditional music. Sometimes even worse than traditional music. I'd rather listen to fucking Taylor Swift hum a fucking three-chord pop song than some of these fucking alternative Seattle bands from the 90s that sounded like there was silverware in a garbage disposal. Yeah.

Shout out Matt Pearl. Who I think came up with that line. See, I'm an honest guy. I didn't have to quote him because nobody knows who he is, but I think that's who said it I think you're right Yeah That was

I was pulling a reference out From the early 90s From the early 2000s Matt Pearl Old friend of mine We wrote He was my writing partner For our old sketch group

And I think he said This band sounds like Silverware in a garbage disposal Which is a great line I think you just gave him His biggest credit Of his career Well he did write sounds like silverware in a garbage disposal, which is a great line. I think you just gave him his biggest credit of his career. Well, he did write for Dennis Miller. He did write for the Orlando Jones Show.

And then after that, I had to hire him at Fusion. And now there's a writer's strike, so he may be working at Panera Bread in Schaumburg, Illinois. I mean, the kid is jacked. I've known a few people with addictive personalities We're in comedy A lot of the people in comedy have addictive personalities And they're into extreme behavior You know

Comedians have obsessive, addictive personalities Alright, but you want to hear my conspiracy theory? Yeah He can only get like 7 reps out of What is that, 35? So he's on juice He must be Yeah, he's probably on.

And he's also 69 to look like that. He's probably on juice. He answered that conspiracy, by the way. Did he? Because the people said he only got like seven. I only got seven, but he said they started filming towards the end of my set. This guy can't even bang out a 10 push-up. Well, he said that the reason what that was is because they started filming when he was

almost done. Oh, okay. Right. But I think he's probably shooting testosterone into his asshole. Could be. Yeah. Allegedly. Yeah, allegedly.

So, you know, but listen, he's an anti-establishment candidate, and the current president is embarrassingly senile, and he also happens to have a very huge liability in his family which is a corrupt crackhead son. Now the establishment media has downplayed the corrupt part but the kid's fucking corrupt. I mean what the fuck was he doing working for an energy company in Ukraine? What

multinational energy company is looking for a crackhead to be on the board and give him a salary? I'll tell you which one. The one who happens to have a father who is the vice president of the most powerful nation on the planet that they can curry favor with. How about them apples? You don't have to fucking go to a community college

to play connect the dots on that one. If his father wasn't vice president of the United States, do you think anyone would be interested in paying a six or seven figure salary to a fucking crackhead? Hunter Biden smokes crack cocaine. He smokes crack cocaine and he likes to take pictures and videos of himself getting blowies on a fucking laptop. He also brings that lab. Who takes a laptop in to get repaired anyway? What is this, 1997?

Buy another one. You're a Biden. You're on the board of Burisma. You don't got $3,000 to drop on a new fucking Mac and have your data transferred? Who the fuck brings their computer in to get repaired by the geek squad. Have you ever brought your computer in to be repaired? You just buy a new one. It's fucking crazy.

It's like when your dishwasher breaks. This isn't 1983 where you call a repairman because everything's being made here and there's only 100 dishwashers available and you got to repair it. It costs 300 bucks to get a new fucking dishwasher. They're only made to last a couple of years so they can get some turnover. So you go buy a new one. Only a fucking irresponsible crackhead would go and give his fucking laptop to some fucking Delaware repairman who probably had a don't tread on me sign in the fucking,

you know, those ultra Republicans who have second knock, knock and meet my gun. He probably had a knock, knock, meet my gun sticker on his front door, which means he's no friend to the Obama Biden administration. And this fucking out of it crackhead gives his computer to this guy. Has anyone ever brought up the fact that he's questionable just for getting his computer repaired? I don't think I've ever heard that. That just shows you how much of a liability he is. You got to give him some credit, though, because he could have just took it back to Apple.

And he probably thought in his head, he's like, nah, this is too high scale. Let me take it to a low spot. It was probably next to a Quiznos or some shit. He was like, yeah, this is too high scale let me take it to a low spot it was probably next to a quiz nose or some he was like yeah this is definitely better and he still got caught I think you're I think it was a run-of-the-mill kind of yeah computer repair shop you didn't even go to the Genius Bar yeah in Delaware yeah and the reason why he did it is because he's a moron he's also got low character he started his brother's wife after his brother died He also got low character.

He started fucking his brother's wife after his brother died. That's, I mean, am I my brother's keeper? There's plenty of women to fuck. You don't fuck your brother's widow, dude. Hunter Biden on, this is Time Magazine, on making his own crack, living with his dealer, and his family efforts to keep him alive. Now look, I have a lot of sympathy for Joe Biden that he had a son like this, but also dog, your president, you're going to be on. I

hate this. Everyone's a victim bullshit. Yeah. You know, people get I hate these people who want to be in the public eye or and they don't want to be criticized or something like that. You know what I mean? This is not how it works. This is America. You don't get to just be in the public eye and not have comedians talk about you. You're going to be talked about. You can't have your fucking cake and eat it too. You want to be famous? People are going to talk about you. Stop fucking bitching and moaning. You're walking down the street and there's paparazzi there? Guess what? It's because people want to look at you. Do like Jerry Seinfeld did. Jerry Seinfeld does it the best. He goes, did you get the picture? It's the same picture. It's the same picture.

Everyone who's in the public eye is open to scrutiny. And that's a good thing. Open for all the smoke. It's what keeps everybody honest. That's fucking America. This whole candidate fundamentalism where like you make a joke about Trump or you make a joke about RFK and people are like, I'm unfollowing you. By the way, the people who say that to me are the ones who call liberals cucks and snowflakes. And then I'll make an RFK joke and they'll be like, I'm unfollowing you.

Or stop tweeting. But if I say something about AOC, they're like, who's the real cuck? Who's the cuck? It's those people. They need champions in the league. I'm asking the real cuck who's the cuck it's those people they need champions in the who is i'm asking you cock who's the cock you're telling me liberals are snowflakes and they're cucks and they and they're too sensitive but then i make a joke about your fucking heroes and you say i'm unfollowing you and you lash out at me like i'm in your family and you lash out at me and you say you're unfollowing because you can't have a lot so who is the cuck I'll tell you you weren't wrong about the liberals

but you also are a cuck there's a lot of cucks out there you know and this it's like it's candidate fundamentalism it's crazy it's like people are starting to it's a fascist tendency it's like if if they're like they don't they won't shit on them it's like that's the point of having a president is you shit on them they work for us i don't care if you like the guy i like you and i shit on your height all the time all the time you're not even that short no right i shit on your generic Nikes at one point. Shitting on somebody is what keeps us all honest and makes us remember we're just fungus growing on a rock and have a sense of humor and keep it light. It keeps us away from that imperious instinct to try to control other people. It's a reminder that like, no, no, no, you're not in control.

Something else is in control. We're all in this together. We're all in the same level. We're all balancing each other out. We're all checking each other. We're all in the same level. Yeah, checks and balances. That's why we have it in control. We're all in this together. We're all balancing each other out. We're all checking each other. We're all on the same level. Checks and balances. That's why we have it in politics.

Absolutely. Unfortunately, Biden doesn't have that. He doesn't. You're no different than the guy who works at the gas station just because you're president or you're a Kennedy or who gives a shit. This is America. We don't give any of that shit.

We don't have political families. We shit on the Bushes because they kept electing fucking their family. Everyone was shitting on them. You know? I don't even remember. We shit on the Bushes Because they kept electing fucking their family And everyone was shitting on them You know I don't even remember People who voted for them I don't even remember them getting as upset When you shitted on how stupid George W. Bush was

Now if you like Trump People go crazy It's like the guy's a fucking joke Constantly out there You know just like Being a narcissist Right You know but you're being a narcissist, right?

You know, but you're only going to listen to Hillary jokes. What is this? You're attached to personalities? Shit on people and whoever comes out the cleanest is the best. I think that's the role of a comedian and the people. That's what they should be using their voice on Twitter for. Just shit on. Hey, pick someone you like and shit on them. See what happens. A little exercise. Yeah, it's what they should be using their voice on Twitter for. Just shit on. Hey, pick someone you like and shit on them.

See what happens. A little exercise. Yeah, it's a little exercise. Pick someone you like and shit on them. See how fun it is. Because it'll remind you. You'll be like, oh, yeah, that's right. They're not my family or friend.

People will defend a politician more than they will their own family or something. You'll be like, yeah, your brother's an asshole. They'll go, yeah, my brother is brother's an asshole. They'll go, yeah, you know, my brother is kind of an asshole. Yeah. Right? That's who you should be defending. Then you go,

Donald Trump's a real asshole. They go, shut your fucking mouth because that's them. Donald Trump is them. So when you talk shit about their champion, you're talking shit about me.

And if you're talking about shit about me, you make me question my whole existence. Well, then you're a cock. Exactly. You know, and the same goes

for the other side. It's like, you know, people, like, they treat these candidates like they're perfect. Yeah. Like, you can't shit on them. You can't shit on AOC. She's a joke. I think, generally, I think the point is, like,

man, we've fallen off. Everyone's confused. Nobody knows what to believe. And people are falling for everything. I think that, in a nutshell, says it. And it's fun. So listen, this is a fun theory, that it was a bioweapon that attacks only whites and blacks.

Much like that fart right now. Right. What is something that attacks whites and blacks only? That's an interesting thing. At least it unifies whites and blacks. That's nice. I mean, that's a positive thing. Like, oh, wow, we have a common enemy now.

And it's COVID. The funny thing is, just listening to RFK give his defense of what he said. He goes, it was completely taken out of... First of all, he goes, that was off the record. That's bullshit. You're going like, well, then maybe you wanted to tell the guy

who was filming it and maybe you don't want to have that conversation to a reporter where other people are around. So he was saying that that was like the first defense. Well, it was off the record. You're going like,

but you did say it and it was filmed. And then he goes, it was taken out of context. Here's how it was taken out of context the thing is some people were like oh it's anti-semitic in my mind i was i didn't even go to anti-semitic because i don't think he's anti-semitic in my mind i was just going wow that's sloppy that's real sloppy for a presidential candidate to just go this is what's going on like that's sloppy you know that's something for like me and you to talk about on here you know it's not something for a presidential candidate to just go out on a limb

and then he go and then my favorite is him and defenders of rfk going like how could you have come up with that like how could you be so stupid that you would think that he meant that the Jews were involved in this? You're going like, how did I get there? I don't know how I got there. Let me think for a second. If this is an ethically targeted bioweapon

and it spears Jews and Chinese, and the Chinese made it, Targeted bioweapon. And it spears Jews and Chinese. Hmm. And the Chinese made it. CCP made it. Why would they spare the Jews unless the Jews were involved to also spare themselves? I guess the only other reason was maybe the Chinese were so thankful for all the business the Jews gave them on Christmas Eve

that they said, we'd like to spare your life in return for all those meals that you bought at our restaurants over the years. Thank you. This is the way we say thank you for choosing to dine with us on Christmas Eve, Jews. Makes sense because Chinese love their business. I mean, what else would it be? What else conclusion would I draw from you saying that this was an ethnically targeted? I mean, do you guys, do you people hear what I'm saying? I mean, why do I feel like I'm living in the twilight zone? How could you yell at me and call me stupid for maybe thinking that RFK was suggesting that the Jews and Chinese were involved in this and that they protected themselves after unleashing this

virus that is designed to target only whites and blacks. Please check me on this if I'm wrong. You're a very circumspect guy. Is it far-fetched to assume that if i'm telling you it's an ethnically targeting bioweapon that spares jews and chinese even if i'm quoting a supposed peer-reviewed study that i might be suggesting that the people who created it decided that they wanted to spare themselves. Is that far-fetched? It's not, right? And you're a fucking pretty cynical guy. And you can't wait to call me bipolar. You can't wait to call me bipolar.

But am I not being completely rational here? You are. I think it might be extreme to call that outrageous. To go like, how the fuck could you make that connection that he's saying that? Pretty, pretty easily. Let's try to change it up. Can you help me change it up? Let's try to change it up. a deadly virus right and um you saw some study somewhere out of tons of studies right okay that was at the beginning of the pandemic that said that this thing was targeting um it was targeting uh black people alone it was targeting it was ethnically it was bio and, it was engineered to target the specific DNA of black people. And the virus originated in Mississippi. And it spares white people.

and it spares white people. But I'm just quoting a study that I read, right? That happened to really jump out at me. It really happened to jump out at me. Would it be far-fetched for you to assume that I'm saying or that you're saying, whoever's bringing it up that perhaps white people built this virus to kill black people and spare themselves oh yeah yeah would that be far-fetched the lead doctor on that study is david duke right it makes it a little more

apparent when you change the ethnicities right by the way that product exists it's called sprite it's called sprite or quarter water yeah it's a quarter water sprite uh a pulp under liquor stores in the hood that white woman there's a lot of things they sent black people resilient yeah there's a lot of things old cracker said to get you and i mean who knows who knows where aid started now i'm making fun of conspiracy theorists right here now i'll make fun of myself i believe in some conspiracy theorists i just don't go so far as to say i know what happened right obviously we know what happened to the gulf of tonkin that

was bullshit that's not a conspiracy that was a false flag operation that happened hitler did it in poland as well so that happens to think that 9-11 might have been a false flag, not too far fetched considering people do that. And it's a smart tactic if you want to galvanize support amongst your people. Did we know about Pearl Harbor happening? Probably. It wasn't a false flag, but we probably had some previous knowledge that was going to happen. We may have let it happen in order to get into the war and get public support probably did we squeeze them a little with the oil too knowing that they might attack probably is that the machiavellian game that serves the bigger good maybe but that's as far as i'll go true right um was something fishy on 9-11 abso-fucking-lutely but that's as far as i'll go I mean you find the passport and you say we found the terrorist passport

I'm going to go that's strange because it was in a fireball and it's paper so that's strange I'll say that's strange if you don't show any consistent footage of the plane hitting the pentagon I'm going to go that's strange it's the most filmed building in the world

it's strange that we can't get it it was like one frame, two frame, plane disappears, explosion! Can I get a plane? Can I see a plane? Is this a Pentagon or a 7-Eleven on Long Island? Yeah, why does it look like fucking security footage of a 7-Eleven on Long Island? Where it's like footage.

You know, can I get one? Yeah, that's a little strange. And then there's a whole list of other strange things. The buildings felt kind of nice and neat. That's all I'll say. Building 7 wasn't hit by a plane. It did fall. No steel frame building has ever fallen from fire. I'll say that's strange.

And I'll keep it there. I'll keep it there. I won't say the Jews did it. I won't say nobody was on the plane in Shanksville or whatever the fuck it was. They did fall neat. Very neat. Very neat. It's kind of sexy it was. They did fall neat. Very neat. Very neat. It's kind of sexy, too.

Here's the deal. Like when your girl drops her dress, would you want to get it on? Real sultry. Real nice. Real neat and sultry. Here's the deal. If it was a controlled demolition, here's the way you say it, and you're not wrong. If it was a controlled demolition of all three buildings, guess what?

They would have fallen like that. That's a true statement. Nobody can dispute that. Nobody can refute that. The buildings fell at free fall speed nearly with very little resistance. Now, maybe there's a perfectly good explanation for that. Maybe the weight on top. I'm no fucking physicist.

I'm no scientist, whatever. I'm just saying as a comedian and someone who's street smart, if the buildings were imploded on purpose, they would have looked exactly like that. Exactly like that. That's all I'm saying. That's all I'm saying. I don't know anything else.

Either that or they were built by the dude who made the Miami high rise. That's it, because that came down easily as well. That's it. That's all I'm saying. I will not go further than that. And then we ended up attacking another country that had nothing to do supposedly with the people who did it. That's strange.

Caught the smoke. Yeah, that's strange. And that they lied about weapons of mass destruction. He kind of gets off the hook on that. Colin Powell's kind of like left off the, you're like, what was that about, Colin? That wasn't true Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction which is a great you know they like toiled over that

expression all night too they're like how are we going to sell this nuclear weapons just doesn't have the same you know I could picture it was very similar to probably like a Schultz staff meeting when they're sitting around going how are we going to give this a good pop for the people? How are we going to connect? How are we going to make this algorithm really serve us? Big weapons, big weapons. No, that doesn't sound good. Nuclear, it's been said.

It's been said. Nuclear's been said. Big bombs, big heavies. Big bombs, you're thinking of tits. Nah, it doesn't have to say. We got to really phrase this nice. Destroy. Destroy is a good word.

I like destroy. Yeah. I like destroy. I like destroy. Hold on. Where's my do-rag? Yeah, put your do-rag. It's a weapon.

It's a weapon. Weapon. It's a weapon. Weapon, yeah. Gun is like, you know, gun can be used for other things. Gun, you know. It's got to affect a lot of people. It's just kind of big, too.

Yeah, big, big. It's just kind of big. Mask. Got a lot of mask. Mask. Got a lot of mask. Yo, kind of big too Yeah big big That's just kind of big Mass Got a lot of mass Got a lot of mass Yo yo yo yo Hold up Hold up

Hold up Hold up Weapons of mass destruction Yeah Yeah Cause that really does pack a punch When you say they have weapons of mass destruction Which essentially means nukes

But it doesn't have the same WMD which sounds like suck my D Yeah weapons of mass destruction You're going yo that sounds scary dog And don't think for one second They didn't thoroughly plan that out I mean They didn't choose those words to have premium effect.

They thought of that shit, how Walmart thinks about their Black Friday deals. That's exactly right. It was thought out. It's good PR. So, yeah, that's not a conspiracy. But those type of things, when they get caught lying, they do breed conspiracies. Right.

They start feeding them. You know? Now, here's one that I have. God, you know, sometimes I have a big one. It was a big one that I have that I was about to say. Ugh. That I do believe was a conspiracy.

Ugh. Ugh. God, and it's a good one. People would love to hear it I hate Because then we get off on a tangent And my brain can't hold it Did you write it down on your phone?

I didn't write it down on my phone Fuck I lost it I lost It's a conspiracy that I believe That I believe That I'm into it And I can't think of what it is

Maybe it'll come Greeks are black people just without melanin? That's a fact I don't think that's a conspiracy Okay Yeah I just can't think of what it is Maybe it'll come Greeks are black people Just without melanin That's a fact I don't think that's a conspiracy Okay Yeah I just can't think of what it is But it's a juicy one too And I believe it

I buy it Oh I know what it is What? AIDS was created by the South African government That's right Yep Thank you Fuck

How did you know that Because I've said it before Dog I believe AIDS Was created by the Southan government to kill black people yeah i do i buy that strange otherwise you're like it's one of those things it's like cover you're going wait a second somebody fucked a monkey what are we talking about here it jumped what it just happens to affect gay people more right it happens to affect black people. What's going on here? Now, it originated in Africa. South African

government is this small, oppressive government that's trying to control millions and millions and millions of people and keep them oppressed. But they're outnumbered at every turn. What would they try to do? Makes sense.

Let's kill as many of them as we can to even out these numbers as much as we can. It's either going to be that or a soccer match to the death. Yeah. I believe, dude, I believe, I mean, you know,

and I have no evidence. I have no evidence, so it could be very ignorant for me to say, to suggest such a thing. It just, there's motive there. I see big motive. Ooh, what's this new african magazine says we deliberately spread aids in south africa look at this guy holy macaroni if anyone was going to try to take out black people that's the face that i would expect to see but it's also the face

of someone i can't trust one word they say oh yeah no if i can see your full chest hair i'm not trusting i'm not buying anything from you. No, no, sir. If you're wearing a chain and you got your full chest hair out, there's no way I trust you. Yeah, if I borrow money from you, you're definitely killing me. You're killing me. You're not getting it back, that's for sure. Yeah. What does he say here? Why are we staring at this guy?

Shocking confession made on camera in a new documentary. All right, we don't know this, guys. Is there any reputable magazine, like outlet that may suggest that there's the cost of South Africa's AIDS created by South African government? Jesse just put that in. That's going to be tough on Google. They're not going to, you know.

Google's a bitch. South Africa's painful. HIV failures. It just makes sense to me. It just, like, I would buy that. And that we may not have gone to the moon, that's possible too. Because there's motive for us to pretend like we did. We would spend all that money if it didn't have to do with actually spilling blood in war.

Like we would spend like in an intellectual race of going to the moon with Russia. Well, yeah, because we wanted to beat them to say, hey, we're stronger than you. Like we got there first and don't fuck with us. And if we didn't have any bloodshed for that, I think the United States would spend a lot of money to make people think that we went to the moon. Yeah. Maybe we didn't. Yeah.

Maybe we didn't. It seems like we did, but also, who cares? People get all caught up in it. You're like, all right, they lied about that. Who cares? They didn't lie not to help us. They were trying to help us against this fuck in this Cold War against these people who hate us.

I mean, what do you want? What do you want? You know, what are we not going to get our hands dirty? You know? What are you? All right, they lied. Okay. It's the same thing with, like, the earth is flat.

You're going, why? Who cares? Like, all right, if you want to believe it's flat, believe it's flat. Now what? Now what happens? Why? Why would anyone lie about the shape of the earth?

And they have a reason, right? They go, because there's something on the ice walls, on the other side of the ice walls that they're hiding from us. You're going, then hike there, dog. Then go hike there. I don't know what to tell you. Figure that shit out for yourself. Yeah.

People who believe the earth is flat are really a whole level of fucking crazy that I enjoy. You know, because the other ones, there's motives. You're going, all right, I get the motive for why this, there's some conspiracies have clear motives. Like, all right, I believe that maybe the South African government created AIDS to target

black people, to lower the population. Think about it. It attacks people who try to reproduce, right? You know, maybe, maybe that's what they're trying to do.

There's at least a motive. They have a motive. They're scared of black people. There's millions of them. They don't want to lose their grip on the country. Exactly. At least there's a motive. But when you go, hey, the earth is flat, you're going, why?

And they're going, they don't want us to meet the ice people. They're trying to keep us away from the ice. What's the motive? And then here's the funnier part. You're going, hey, dog, do you see all the other round stuff out there? You can clearly see the moon is round. You can see other planets around. When you look at a big telescope You can clearly see the moon is round. You can see other planets around when you look at a big telescope.

You can see the sun is round. We're just the only flat shit? And they're going, yeah. It looks like you're just looking through a Busch Gardens brochure right now. Oh, why some people believe the Earth is flat. The question whether the Earth is flat has been debated throughout human history

by fucking stupid people. The shape of the earth explains seasons changes weather we know that um but yeah what you gotta watch this video listen dog we're not gonna waste time figuring listening to someone's reason because the the funnier point is like why the street smart thing which street smarts is a great thing to have. You're going like why? Who benefits from the earth being flat? White woman because it makes them feel better about their asses. That's the only possible, as far fetched as it could be,

that's the only possible thing I could come up with. What else? What else could it possibly be? You know, the only thing is like they're keep there's something on the other side of those ice walls and i love how there's ice walls right so it's like wait if it's flat wouldn't the weather be the same like when the sun is up and it was flat wouldn't it be because the climate has to do with the earth being around right so when the earth the northern hemisphere tilts a little farther away from the sun,

that's winter. So right now it's winter in the southern hemisphere. So if you went to Argentina, it's cold. If you went to Australia, it's cold. And then our winter, it tilts back this way, and then it's summer for them. That's what they want you to believe. That's what they want you to believe. Why?

Why? That's what they want you to believe. That's what they want you to believe. Why? Why? That's what they want you to believe, man. Really, it's just a big lamp that they borrowed from Golden Corral that they turn on and off when they want to. It's funny. You know, wokeness and conspiracies have a lot in common because it's never enough. Because there's always a loophole, and then you have to come up with another thing. And always keep on going.

You keep going. We were talking about that last episode about the Snow. And always keep on going. It keeps going. Like we were talking about that last episode about the Snow White thing. It's like it just keeps going. It's a big mess. Because they were like, all right, we're not going to have dwarfs in it. And then they're going, oh, wait, we also,

we're not going to have dwarfs. We can't leave it be a prince because prince of prince people. So, and then, oh, we can't call it suicide. We got to call it unalive. And then, oh, we can't call it unalive because some people get triggered by unalive. It just keeps going.

It never ends. That Snow White thing is pretty funny. Snow White thing is one of the funniest things I've ever, to be honest with you, it's one of the funniest ones of all time. I think it would be funny if they switch it out for dwarves and then just have random people, but the people still have stereotypes,

like the black one likes chicken. Right. Yeah, that would, it's almost, might as well do that Stereotypes, like the black one likes chicken. Right. Yeah, that would, it's almost, might as well do that because it's like, you're not fixing anything. I think the dwarfs, that initial photo we looked at was the photo, like, an imagining of what they're trying to do. I think they're going for a diverse cast of formerly known as dwarfs. So you're going to have a Latin dwarf, you have a black dwarf,

you have an Asian dwarf, you have a white dwarf, you know, an Indian dwarf. But they're not dwarfs. Also, are they worried about catching flack from the dwarf community? Well, the dwarf community's not happy about it because they want the acting roles. True, but dog, if they're going to have a protest of the movie,

you're not going to be able to see it. No, you're going to have to really, you might miss it. Look down. Make sure you look down when you do it. So, RFK is only on the internet, though. I like my RFK the way I like my 9-11 conspiracies, on the internet, you know? The internet's a fun place.

I don't think the people who are holding up society are on the internet. I have a sneaky suspicion that the best of us aren't on Twitter getting into the bowels of what people are talking about. I don't think a lot of people even know RFK is intending on running. I think he's an internet celebrity like Andrew Tate. I think there's a lot of people who don't even know who Andrew Tate is. By the way, our president is senile.

The main candidate against him has a personality disorder. RFK likes shooting smack out of a spoon. And Andrew Tate is a conservative thought leader. These are all facts. I just said facts. We're in a weird place. I'd say we're in a weird place. But it's fun.

I think when all your needs are met, right, you go to fun. You wild out. I think you wild out because all your needs are met. We don't have to worry about survival. We don't got to worry about food. We don't even have to worry about low-quality air most of the time. We don't have to worry about hot air. We can, we don't, we're rarely uncomfortable, to be honest with you.

We're rarely uncomfortable, to be honest with you. We're rarely uncomfortable. So, you know, if I think about some of the trauma my parents inflicted on me, I just, I don't think they were bad people. I just think they were unaware because they were too busy trying to make it as immigrants. They were thinking about, like, they didn't have a village to support them. Yeah. They were like, oh, we got to keep everyone fed. So sorry if I didn't hug you a few times, John. I was too busy fucking trying to send you to private school. You. They were like, oh, we gotta keep everyone fed. So sorry if I didn't hug you

a few times, John. I was too busy fucking trying to send you to private school. You know what it is? Most of the world flies in first class. People like your parents,

the immigrants, they were flying in coach trying to get to first class. Trying to get to first class. So their abrasiveness kind of came off as that. But now, you in first class.

You're chilling. Right. And they probably, if they had time on their hands to sit with their therapist and go through what the Nazi occupation did to their

you know yeah but my mother was probably just like don't hug me it's weakness I can't show weakness and you're like but I need to hug

I'm your son and you're like I grew up when Nazis were fucking occupying my island she was like put your tray up put your tray up

put your fucking tray up they're coming around they're coming around I can't she's like reusing paper towels she's like I can't show any weakness

I'm sorry I can't hug you it's the only way I knew to survive right and then you show any weakness. I'm sorry I can't hug you. It's the only way I knew to survive, right? And then you're going, oh, okay, I get it. So it probably hurt you too that you couldn't hug me, you know, and you're like, all right. Because you were operating on these lower chakras, right? You were going like food, sustenance, you know,

and we're up here going like, we have all that. Now, enlightenment. Now I'd like to be enlightened. Enlightenment is the ultimate privilege. Being enlightened is the ultimate privilege, I guess. You have to have a lot of your needs met to be like, I'm going to be a monk now. Right? Or maybe I'm wrong.

Maybe monks are poor and they just decide to be monks anyway. I guess in America. Definitely in America. In America, it's a real privilege to say, you know what? I want to get to the root of my personality. Which essentially means you came so far from your actual personality. All the needs that have been met by you makes you farther away from God or the true meaning of life. That's right.

I think we're probably so comfortable now the only thing left to do is while out. And that's probably why we're while out. Because we're definitely while out, dog. We're definitely while out. To have the three candidates that everyone knows be a guy who likes to shoot smack out of the spoon and likes a good conspiracy, a guy with a personality disorder who used to host a reality TV show show and the other guy completely absolute senile with a crackhead son these are not the best america has to offer no why are we here how the fuck did we get here nobody could give a shit about any of these other guys

and the only three, well, I guess it's always the incumbent that wins, like, that gets the nomination, right, unless something happens. But why is not the DNC going like, I mean, this guy, I mean, did you see the Biden sitting down with the

Israeli foreign minister? It is wild, dog. Because Biden's sitting there and he's like mumbling he's like looking down he's going like and the Israeli foreign minister is looking around

going like you could see the Israeli foreign minister going like is this happening? looking for his hand yeah like he was like what am I supposed to do? this guy's clearly

clearly incapacitated is that the right word clearly compromised either that or he's listening in the future pull it up real quick if you can just for us I know it's horrible entertainment for them but while you're looking for it I will say

go to patreon.com slash for weekly bonus episodes it is vital that you do that and support us. It is vital. It is vital. We're the only podcast that cares about the truth. We will lead you to the promised land. I am going to start trying to appeal to people who want a cult leader.

Follow me and I will protect you at all times. I will give you the true answers Do you think Hunter Biden and RFK could have a play date? Dude they would actually love hanging out Yeah They would love That's what they really want to be doing Like deep down they both really want to let go

They want to really fucking party RFK loves pussy too Puss puss He can't get enough of it His diary got found And he calls them his lost demons, and he cheated on his wife, and he was having menage. Here we go. This is crazy.

I know he's reading from some notes. That's what he tends to do, but could someone please decipher this for me? We brought Israelis and Palestinians together at a political level. And they... Oh, yes. At a political level. And the... And... And... And... Oh. Yes. And...

No, no, he was freed from the Torah. Affirmed the prime minister in India yesterday. Yeah, Justin, the Israeli president would have been asked whether he needed an interpreter. And you see the Israeli president, not the foreign minister, my fault, the Israeli president, Isaac Reza, just kind of looking around

because he's basically going like, I don't know what he's, I can't make out what he's saying. I don't need a translator. He's just mumbling. I think he has low blood sugar. Yeah, he was just going down, going, I mean, dog, he's old. Four more years.

Did he have brain surgery at some point or something? Yeah, I believe he had an aneurysm. Yeah, I mean, dog. And they had to peel his scalp back. Yeah, I don't even like, I can't even stomach when people talk shit about him because it feels like elder abuse. Like, it's not. It is. You know, and look, he didn't choose

his crackhead son. Like, he didn't choose that. I feel bad for that. But too bad. The president. He might have chosen to be on that board in Ukraine, but. Yeah, or at least he wasn't mad at it. Who knows? But either way, you know, some people like that's harsh. It's like, well, you know, being president

requires some fucking standard in the free world, dog. Motherfuckers had polio in wheelchairs and still leading the country. You can't fall off no bike. I'm sorry. You can't fall off a bike and you can't mumble like that in a meeting. It's not a good look.

It's not a good look. Name this episode, not a good look. But it's fun. Not a good look, but fun. Patreon.com slash Giannis Papasour. Now, thank you for listening. Tell your friends. Now, let's have some fun With some of our Small business shout outs Guys we're brought to you

By Brooklyn Cannery It's all natural sodas Brooklyncannery.com Order a case to your house Low calorie All natural sweeteners 15% off With the promo code

Giannis Pappas At brooklyncannery.com Exclusiveautoshipping.com You're moving your car You bought it out of state Whatever it is Call them up for a free quote Love these guys

Who else we got? Chris Minetti 215-750-3730 No questions asked He'll cast your check if you're in Philly Maybe he'll drive to you as well Call him up He's all ears

It's just him For the free Dot Art Music Hawaii he's all ears it's just him for the free dot art music hawaii i mean they've been with us since the beginning they are not paying attention anymore who else must be nice oh sport horse farrier.com 864-200-9007 if you're in Nashville, you have a horse And the horse's hooves need attending to Call Sam Gubera She's a horse farrier Sporthorsefarrier.com

864 Manlygirlystudios.com They do podcasts Jared's a big fan Real big fan Get 40% off your first studio recording. I'm going to Charlotte tonight to watch one of their live recordings. I can't wait to go to a live recording.

They also will sell you studio time at Manly Girly Studios in North Carolina. Check out their podcast. They got a bunch, and they're really funny. 40% off your first studio recording by referencing this ad. So get them up. Is it working? DisplayPros.net, guys. a bunch and they're really funny 40 off your first studio recording by referencing this ad so yeah get them up is it working displaypros.net guys if you're a nerd and you like to make pickles or have a yugioh card stand and you want to promote that shit hit these guys up displaypros.net code what's the deal is for 10 off your first purchase tell them that we sent you

yes uh and then staffing beaver oh they came back? They're back Oh Yeah Guys Hire overseas He'll find people for you At staffingbeaver.com Mention this ad You get 10% off your first placement fee So call up Rob And do a call

A 30 minute discovery call Will save you 70% On what you're currently paying To fill your roles locally This guy will find you all types of jobs you're currently paying to fill your roles locally. This guy will find you all types of jobs that will be done, I guess, remotely by people in other countries. And then Ma Insurance Services. Oh, Ma.

Ma. Ma Insurance Services dot com. M-A Insurance Services dot com down there in Florida, St. Petersburg, Florida. So these guys cover everything, bro. Commercial property, auto, professional liability, general liability, umbrellas, all that. Giving you that personalized service that you can't get with these bigger firms. So hit these guys up. Hit these guys.

Hit Matthew Albani up. I'm trying to make it seem like a little bigger than it is. Yeah, but listen, he'll answer the phone. His mom will answer the phone. [phone]. If his mom answers the phone, ask for Matthew. If he puts you on hold, it's because his mother's talking to Publishers Clearinghouse. Yeah.

I do like when he wrote this. This is funny. I'm probably just sitting in my office watching a Tim Dillon podcast, wishing I could afford to advertise on there. That's funny. All right, what else we afford to advertise on there. That's funny. All right, what else we got? That's it. That's it.

See you next week.