Yannis Pappas Hour - It Ain’t Changing So Laugh Cuz It’s Sad

Episode Date: March 31, 2023

Yannis is back from Austin performing for the first time at the Comedy Mothership—Joe Rogan’s new club in Austin. In news, the most 2023 school shooting possible, not mentioning the heating up of the confrontation between NATO & USSR/ Russia, Marjorie Taylor Greene is suspended from twitter—which is hard to do! Also, official reparations for African Americans in California is being proposed and the two biggest international criminals in the world are fingers sniffers. Enjoy! Sponsors Factor Meals https://www.factor75.com/pages/podcast?c=FUMES50&mealsize=8-1&c_comms=PERCENT&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=cpm&utm_campaign=podcast50off&utm_content=act_podcast_podcastads&vs_campaign_id=07a8da85-76a7-4540-8dc1-4e6861f6b4c8Morgan & Morgan https://www.forthepeople.com/free-case-evaluation/get-a-lawyer/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=v1&utm_campaign=fumesSee Yannis live Dates & Cities below All tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.comStamford CT April 7 & 8Tampa April 21-22Boston July 8 Dallas Aug 24-26New York Nov 4 Providence Nov 10-11Phoenix Nov 16-18Watch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQJoin our highlights page for highlight clips of every episode: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwNew episodes every Friday and new bonus episodes every following Tuesday at Patreon.com/yannispappashour Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, everybody? Before we start this episode, as always, I want to tell you about the live dates to come out and see me and the kid, Jared Harvin. Okay, are you ready? April 7th and 8th, Stanford, Connecticut. Get those tickets right now. Limited ticket alert. GiannisPappasComedy.com. Stanford, Connecticut, April 7th and 8th. SideSplitters in Tampa. Low ticket alert. April 21st and 22nd. Tampa, low ticket alert, April 21st and 22nd. Boston, Massachusetts at the Wilbur. Big time. It's a big benchmark for me. Come out and celebrate it with me.

First time I'm doing the Wilbur in Boston, July 8th. So come out. Austin, thank you. Austin, I had a great time. But Dallas, Texas in Plano, August 24th through the 26th. August 24th through the 26th, Plano, Texas. That's Dallas. Springfield, Missouri, rescheduled to September 7th through 9th. New York, Sony Hall.

Tickets on sale now, November 4th. Comedy Connection, Providence, Rhode Island, November 10th through 11th. Phoenix, Arizona, November 16th through the 18th. And get ready right now. I want to give you guys the early scoop on it. August 17th, I will be doing the Paramount Theater. The Paramount Theater in Long Island. Yeah.

In Huntington, Long Island. The Paramount Theater. So that will be announced Monday, April 3rd at 10 a.m. My presale starts April 4th at 10 a.m. to April 6th at 10 p.m. So get your discounted tickets from April 4th, 10 a.m. to Thursday, April 6th. Okay? And then Citi Presale starts Tuesday, April 4th at 12 p.m. until Thursday, April 6th, 10 p.m.

Venue Presale, Wednesday, April 5th, 10 a.m. So it goes on sale Friday, April 7th at 10 a.m. So all you need to know if you're my super fans and you're in the area and you want to go is Monday, April 3rd at 10 a.m. It goes on to presale with the code YANIS. The code is YANIS. I'm going to have to send that link to a lot of my friends' moms.

There you go. Paramount Theater, August 17th. So get those tickets. More dates coming as well that I will put up on my website, patreon.com slash YANIS Pappas Hour for our weekly bonus episodes. They are some of the best. We need you guys to support the show and tell friends about it. This was a wild,

unhinged episode. We're just joking about everything. Enjoy. What's up, everybody? Welcome to your official newscast brought to you by your favorite identifying newscaster. What a week in news. Biggest story we're going to ignore just like everyone should ignore and we give you recommendations to ignore. There could be a World War III coming soon. There could be a World War III coming soon. China and Russia are meeting, but you know what? Ignore it. Ignore it. Build walls up around it and ignore it. Treat it like a bad childhood and drink it away.

More importantly, California is right now questioning and figuring out if they're going to give reparations to African-American residents that would cost the state $80 billion. As a result, Jared Harvin is moving to Los Angeles. Pepsi has come up with a new logo. It looks exactly like the old logo. So I don't know.

I guess they paid for that story to get into the news. But it's very important. Remember, not nearly as important is a potential nuclear war between Russia and China. Because Pepsi's got a new logo. AI. Elon Musk is asking for a pause in AI development with a bunch of other leaders in AI. Because they are scared that AI is going to be evil. Again, I've seen no evidence of AI being evil.

It's been very helpful. It is basically a personal electronic digital slave for everyone. Whatever you want. If you take away my ability to Google search homemade or amateur porn where you correct the spelling from me, then we're going to have a problem and I'm going to lobby my congressman

to get rid of Twitter. Leave AI alone. It's the humans that are evil. I stick with that. Again, not as big a threat as China and Russia. But yeah, let's talk about fucking banning AI and leave the nuclear weapons. But fucking, if something could write a term paper for me, let's get rid of it.

But let's keep the nukes. Anyway, Nashville, something happened. We'll talk about it. I don't know if you heard about it, but something happened. I mean, only three kids died. I don't know why this made the news. It's just it's the American tradition. American IQ

is down. And also the color blue is blue. So that's news as well. Starbucks CEO testifies in front of Congress about why he defends that unions

shouldn't happen at his coffee shop. We will get into that. And in most important news, roaches have evolved to have new sex moves because they have evolved to escape the poison that we put to kill them. They are harder to kill than open mic comics.

I did kill Tony this week. There was about 300 people in the alleyway trying to get on that show who want to do comedy. It is the number one potential employer for Americans. I think North Americans at this point. So, I mean, Kill Tony is basically like the new Yale institution where you can get your start in fucking doing skits on stage. Um, and much, much more. Sam Bankman Freed is, uh, being indicted and charged with, um, uh, fraud in China. Uh, he was hiding some money in China or he was something with China. So he had money in China. He was hiding some money in China or he was something with China.

So he had money in China. He was asking China to do. So he's charged with bribery, trying to bribe some Chinese officials in the CCP is exactly what's going on. We will get into it. Yes, Sang Bankman-Fried tried to bribe Chinese officials. I love this kid.

He looks like horse jack and he's an international criminal. I love him. He's number one, baby. He paid over 40 million to bribe at least one official in China. DOJ alleges in a new indictment. If you believe it, you can achieve it. Let's get to the bottom. Let's get to the deep, deep bottom of the ocean. Let's go 60 leagues under the sea to find out what the freaking, you hear me, YouTube algorithm, freaking deal is.

Yeah, you stuffed up. Yeah. Well, I just got back from Austin, Texas, and Joe's new club, The Comedy Mothership, is absolutely beautiful. Me and Tim Dillon co-headlined the show there. It was great. We went on stage at the same time, bantered a little bit with the audience,

felt out the room. It was great. I also did Kill Tony, which is a really fun show for the first time in The Comedy Mothership in Austin, Texas. It's finally open. Congratulations to Joe Rogan. The ceremony has officially started for comedians from all over the country

going out there and kiss the ring. That's what you gotta do. You gotta kiss the ring, baby. He's a benign king. He's the best. And you go down there and it's really really it was almost like it was a comedy club designed by a comedian who has unlimited money it's perfect it's a perfect club perfect vibe it actually feels like it's been open forever it has i was just in there like oh this feels like it's been here for such a long time because it was designed by somebody who had

been performing in comedy clubs for so long and just took all the best parts of it from a comedian's perspective and created it for comedians so it's perfect it also i think sim looking back if we could look back because of what's going on with china russia and america but hopefully if we could look back i'm still going to ignore it nobody wants to hear about it, okay? I think looking back, this will be like the big moment where it signifies sort of a change. We all know the change has happened where comedians are now titans, independent titans, right?

He's as powerful as more for anyone's career right as a studio or whatever we all knew that but now he opened a spot right so he got on like that side of things and opened it as a comedian with a who performs in it with his perspective which had been done before but you know those always probably had other investors and then someone just slaps their name on it whereas joe did it from the ground up and built it the way yeah he wanted yeah it's not inside of a chili's it's not inside of a chili's which was like uh what was his names had one joe franklin had a comedy club and it was like joe franklin was like 95 years old but it was called joe franklin's and it was like yeah in the back of some fucking taco restaurant or something or a Chili's or something. I can't remember. It was in Times Square, you know, or who else had one?

The guy from Saturday Night Live, John... Lovitz? John Lovitz had one. Kimmel has one in Vegas. Kimmel has one in Vegas. Dangerfield. Rodney opened one.

Rodney's was great. Rodney probably did it, but Rodney had a partner too. It's just Joe. Joe didn't need to find money for this. Joe didn't have to raise money for this. He knew exactly where it was. Joe, where can I raise money?

And the bank was like, from your account, you can get it. You can totally lift it from there. You can just raise it out, pull it out, and put it in. So it's a great spot. I look forward to going down there a lot. I'm honored to be allowed to perform there. It's great. Full house?

Oh, of course. Every show is packed. Yeah, it's just great. I'm going to do a weekend there. So my agent's working that out. And who knows, maybe shoot a special there if he lets it. It's so nice. So it was just a great weekend.

Did Two Bears again with Tom. Another Grand Slam. And again, Kill Tony is just so fun. It's just a fun show. They take everyone's phones and put them in bags. That's another thing Joe does.

That Chappelle does. And that is great. Let me tell you something. That is great. It's a great thing to do like because like everyone's paying attention there's no interruptions and as a comedian you just feel that extra security be like hey man this is happening here we're all here to hear this is not this this this social construct this social pact that we're,

by coming into this room that we're signing, is that we're not abiding by societal norms here. That's the whole point of comedy. It's a game. We're here to play a little game called, can we make you laugh? The goal is to make you laugh. There may be some words that you don't like.

There may be some concepts you don't like if you take them literally. There may be some comedians who fail in their attempt, and that may be offensive. But we all sign a social contract going into that room going, we understand that that is the anatomy of why we're here. We understand that that is the point, that is the goal of why we're here, is to not abide by social conventions or norms, to not think by social conventions or norms to not think about people's feelings to not think about which angle you're punching at it's just an attempt to make

people laugh and people will fail it's like watching a tightrope walker you go there because he might fucking fall that's the whole reason you watch a tightrope walker otherwise why would it be interesting to watch a guy walk this way in that way? The whole fucking point is he might fail. So what do you want me to do? Just say the safest shit? So you can just clap at it? I mean, the whole point is to watch me try to say the most fucked up thing and then make it okay. And you know, sometimes people fail. But again, you got offended. You'll live. Life's going to do a lot worse to you. In fact, it's preparing you for worse to come. So fucking tug on your pussy and close it up.

I think that was technically after the first two minutes. So maybe this sign will be green. Maybe the money sign will be green. Or we can just rename this podcast to Limited Monetization. Yeah, yeah. We've been getting hit. But it doesn't matter. Who cares? We got a gaggle of hardcore fans.

And, you know, we're winning you over one by one. You know? And so what a fun week in news. What a fun week in news. Let's start with the funnest. There was a shooting in Nashville. Yikes. There was a shooting in Nashville.

Yeah. And it wasn't at the range. No. It was at a school. Another school shooting. Why do the school shooters target schools the most? They want to inflict the most emotional pain, right? Yeah.

Probably the most pain. Because they feel the most pain. And they're like, I want to inflict the most pain. So, thankfully, all the guns were bought legally. I think she had at this point, I think she got like seven. No serial numbers

were scratched off in this process. No, this was all legal. These were all legal guns. So these were legally purchased. So she followed the law and she purchased them. And of course, she had the good old trusty AR-15, I believe,

which is sort of like the nine. Uh-oh. I mean, listen, if you're on a golf course, Yeah. Right? And you got to do a long drive, what do you pull?

The driver. You pull the driver out. So the AR-15 is kind of like the driver for school shootings you look at the bag of what you got she looked at her bag she looked at her golf cart and she said nine millimeter that's not gonna cut this that's not this the nine millimeters front for the two for the two hole or the three hole and then what do you got you got a couple woods you got a sort of shotgun what else did she have when she looked at her golf bag she said i gotta do i gotta get a lot i gotta do a lot so she pulled out they are 15 this probably should

be on the patreon what do you want me to do you notice i'm not saying shit i know what do you want me to do I'm not saying shit what do you want me to do smart of you by the way this is my career your career is on the other coast listen what do you want me to do you got to make jokes at this point what can you do

it's not going to change it is what it is I was talking to a friend of mine to protect his identity i won't say any details but he was like yeah you know i guess we gotta like you know we really should have the army there at every school yeah and like you know everyone's gotta like they're just gonna go all the way and then what will happen eventually when that happens is one of those guys who's like hired will just go in there and shoot

it up or then they'll come and kill those guys there'll be a shootout there'll be some there's just gonna be more guns more automatic weapons they're not the problem the argument that it's not the gun it's the human just wins right now in as far as policy goes nothing will be changed nothing will there's no political will because Americans just, they just, they don't want to do it out their guns because they fear the government and it is what it is. And I, you know, there's no way to achieve nuance in this issue, just like there's no way to achieve nuance in any issue. And it's worth thinking about why. And I think it's because everyone's a child now. I think we've gotten to the point.

I remember back in the day when like even Reagan and Bush, when they were on the right, would like, they were for like sensible gun control and stuff. And they would actually say things like that. And it wouldn't make them an anathema on the right. You know, it was, there was just an, it's an error that's foregone. You remember when John McCain,

when some lady was like, Obama's a Muslim and he's a... And she was like, no, sir, ma'am, he's a good man. We just have different opinions. Yeah, class. Yeah, that's out the window. Now you got Marjorie Taylor Greene getting suspended from Twitter for posting Trans Day of Vengeance posters up. So, you know, that's like if what she's doing,

let me just explain to you what she's doing. Because this one psycho fucking person, right? This, who happens to be trans, went and shot up a school. Now she's taking that one person's actions and putting it on a whole group as a member of Congress.

And she's doing that publicly on Twitter, right? You know, when Elon Musk suspends you for something you said, you've crossed the line. And what is she suspended for a week, a little slap on the wrist. And I think the suspension is because they're scared it could incite violence. Of course, she's a member of Congress. She's tweeting trans day of vengeance. And what she's doing is taking this incident

and tying it to what her beliefs are, which are hatred for anything that is not fucking her at her CrossFit job, her CrossFit workout. Wasn't she banging some husband there or something like that? She was. I mean, she looks like a Cro-Magnum, man. Her forehead. Dude, she looks like a crow magnum man her forehead dude she looked you look like when you she looks she looks like lucy when you go to the museum and they pull up like the

early humans she looks like human apostrophe africa palakalapatikas austro apostrophe Look at the coast. I mean, look at that head. Look at that cranium. She's the worst, dude. So basically, this would be like if black people, after the murder in South Carolina, started posting white day of vengeance, like just grouped all white people together. And then you start like a fucking bigger problem. When most people, you know, the reason why this doesn't happen every day is because most people aren't fucked up.

Most trans people are not bad people. They're good people. But Marjorie Taylor Greene wants you to believe that they all are bad because she wants to fucking turn everyone against them. So you know it's bad when Elon Musk goes, this is bad. So she's temporary limited. She's got a little, okay, bad girl, back in your box.

And she goes, you know, she goes back in her box like fucking the hunchback of Notre Dame. Just put her back in her cage. Or she goes in, she just screams. She's like, let's do, fuck that, two inside baseball. Remember when you used to go to DeFar's and someone would order like peppers and pepperoni?

First of all, he wouldn't like that. Yeah, yeah. But then like the sun would come out. The extra toppings. Yeah, it'd come in handy, the extra toppings in the old van. And then he'd go back yeah he had like massive scoliosis and he just uh yeah get the gimp they

hit him in the back he hid that the daughter was out there taking orders he knew what he was doing oh yeah you know i've got business to run yeah i mean i'm not trying to make fun of anything but the father did that on purpose. You know that. Yeah. You know the father didn't go. The father put the fucking daughter on order duty and Quasimodo in the back for a reason. He needed someone to take orders and someone to scare the raccoons away. Yeah, that's right.

To keep the rats out of the place, which he didn't do successfully because it got shut down by the health department like four times, but still the best pizza I've ever tasted in my entire life. Yeah, it's because you had Little Chef making your pizza. That's right. I mean, still number one.

DeFars. In Flatbush. Midwood. Midwood, yeah. Old Man's Dead. Rest in Peace, Dominic. All the great pieces. Lucali, they all copied him.

Everyone was inspired by him. Unbelievable. And my aunt, it's copied him. Everyone was inspired by him. Unbelievable. And my aunt, it's crazy that I grew up eating that pizza before all the yuppies and hipsters found out about it. Because my aunt grew up, my aunt, her house was a block away from that. So I'd go have slices before anyone knew about it. And I'm a kid, I didn't remember going like,

pizza's pizza when you're a kid. But it was good, yeah. Anyhow, how did I get distracted by Dominic? How did I go from- You were comparing Marjorie Taylor Greene to his son. Only on the Giannis Papasour and a Greek kid from Brooklyn would you go from Marjorie Taylor Greene

and her being suspended at Twitter to pizza in deep Brooklyn. But it happened. And it only happened here. So she's suspended. So yeah, I mean, look, what else do you want me to do? I'm just making jokes about it.

What else do you want me to do? Nothing's going to happen. What do you want me to do? They're just going to... The jokes that me and Tim did on one of his most famous episodes, what was it called? Something. About a it called? Something.

About a shooting at that time. The jokes we're making are going to happen. There's going to be bulletproof fashion. You're going to see teachers in military fatigues and tactically trained. There'll be some 36-year-old woman who's tactically trained in hand-to-hand combat and Krav Maga,

who's teaching a class with an ar-15 across her fucking chest while there's a four-year-old child marshal in the in the school who's like 21 jump street style looks like he's two but he's four and nobody knows that he's carrying a custom-made nine millimeter for his little hands yeah to shoot whatever comes in gun on the door gun gun on the teacher. Teacher's got the gun on the kids. All the kids are strapped. And everyone's watching everybody.

And it's complete checks and balances until someone fires by mistake and it ends like a Quentin Tarantino movie. That's where we're headed. Yeah. You know? For some reason, we seem to be the country that has an exponentially worse problem with this than

anywhere else in the world that's not like Venezuela so of the first world countries uh this and health care there seems to be a massive difference and every time you say that people go like if you go to fucking Canada here's my favorite way you go to fucking Canada, here's my favorite way to go. You go to Canada and you break your knee, you'll have to die on the street and wait four days to get seen. It's like, I'm not sure. Then you go talk to a Canadian. They're like, yeah, sometimes there's a few lines, eh?

But it really depends. They prioritize what your problem is, eh? So if they ever have like a brain tumor, they put you at the front of the line, eh? But if you have any anxiety attack, eh? They put, you know, you got to wait a little while, eh? I mean, obviously it's not, you know, top rate, but neither is ours.

Right? Pros and cons. Again, nuance, pros and cons. But we live in this world of like categorically good, bad, oh, Canada, you're going to fucking wait on the street. Have you ever been there? It's like the way they describe it. And then you go to Canada and you're like, wow, man, there's no ghettos.

It's crazy. When you go to Canada and you have people like you're with Drake and Drake's like, hey, man, be careful. This is a bad area. And then you look around and you go, what? Where? And they go, here, man, this is like a bad part of town. And you're looking at it and you're like, dude, this would be,

this is like a rich part of Brooklyn, man. What are you talking about? So they have a little more balance over there. Yeah, of course you can't become a gazillionaire, but there's a lot of balance. And I'm not saying that's good to not be able to become a gazillionaire. I think being a gazillionaire is great. I don't know. zillionaire is great you know i don't know i'm just saying people who haven't experienced something always tend to know the most about it you ever noticed that you know the person who's telling

you about something they're like dude yeah i get like you know if you've experienced it i'll listen to you if you went to canada and your uncle died on the street because they wouldn't let him in for a broken kneecap then maybe i'll agree but even then I'll have to talk to another hundred people and see if that happened to them it's not a perfect world but nothing's gonna change you know I didn't even want to talk it was funny when I was talking to my friend who told me about it who happens to live close to there and he was the first thing he said to me was like he was there was a shooting and and I was like yeah and it's Tuesday I mean what there was two one two days ago two administrators got shot they didn't get killed i was like how many did they get by the way i said how many did

he get little did i know that this was the most 2023 school shooting we've had to date let's give her at least a round of applause for making history oh yeah the first she's the first yeah i know this is insensitive. First, this is what comedy is sometimes. I first want to say, for anyone who lost someone, it's a horrible,

obviously. Really horrible. I mean, I got to, six people that passed away. Yeah, six people. You got to like hold people's fucking hands now. Like,

it's like talking to children. It's like being in kindergarten. You know, I posted a clip about the joke I made about, about bankers, Jewish bankers. It's a joke. They didn't even watch it till the end where I fucking fixed it at the end. And it'sers, Jewish bankers. It's a joke. They didn't even watch it till the end

where I fucking fixed it at the end. And it's like, oh, you're an anti-Semite. Then we fucking, you know, I named the episode on Patreon, Maurice's catchphrase that everyone fucking loved. And I put the word instead of putting a symbol in there. Now they're fucking yelling at me about that too. What do you want me to do?

You want me to do comedy for kindergartners? You want me to do comedy for make-believe? You want me to do comedy that doesn't exist in the world? Is that what you want me to do you want me to do you want me to do comedy for kindergartners you want me to do comedy for make-believe you want me to do comedy that doesn't exist in the world is that what you want and here i'm only talking to two people right but this is what it is we have geared the world towards two people because something about elevate giving the platform to everyone has made everyone a king and also played into that evolutionary soft spot that we all have to listen to the critique, to listen to the negative. Because right there, I mentioned two comments that I saw that actually made me change my actions on what I was like, okay, I just gave into into them but there was a whole bunch of other comments and nobody said anything about that so the squeaky wheel gets the grease and that's why they do it

and we have a thing from evolution where we pay attention to the negative comment because we want to fit into the tribe right so you know right now they're controlling society. Those grifters who complain and say things and they hide behind moral outrage, but they're really doing it to get attention, right? Because if they were really about that life, would they be commenting on my video or would they be out there like, I don't know, creating a business where they did something that, you know, provided opportunities or saw their vision to fruition, right? That there would be no fame in that. And that's hard work.

And that takes a lot of dedication and passion than just going like this. It ain't time to get noticed by Giannis Pappas. And it works. So I think that nothing sums up the era we live in more than that. It's extended youth. People act like child, children. And what can't children, like you pointed out,

children can't understand nuance, right? And the adult world is all nuance and trade-offs and nuance. So it's not a coincidence that me and you were dressed like we're going to middle school and nobody wears suits anymore. And correspondingly, we act like that, which isn't good, which is not good. And I guess that's why Elon Musk and all these AI leaders,

leaders in artificial intelligence, are worried about the advancement of artificial intelligence, specifically these chat, what is it called? Chat GPT or something? Yeah, so they're worried about that, right? So it's a bunch of like real pioneers in the field too with Musk, which is probably a weird meeting when they meet up. Because you know the other ones are a little,

they've been talking behind Elon Musk's back a little bit. When Elon Musk and Steve Wozniak got together for this, you know Steve before was like, I'm going to meet this fucking Texas libertarian psycho who's tweeting at disabled employees and shit and then they met up like elon good to see you like this guy's having a midlife crisis or whatever so in an open letter signed by elon musk and like i had previously mentioned steve wozniak and um a bunch of others um they want a six-month pause. So did they approach Congress with this,

or what are they doing? Yeah, because I think their goal is to have it researched. They want to research the effects on this. Well, let me tell you something right now. The math ain't looking good as the American IQ is down, is very down. Again, the sky's also blue. It bears repeating. So IQ scores in the U.S. have fallen for the first time in decades. I didn't notice. And they are blaming technology, ironically.

The thing that could make you instantly smarter, they're blaming. TikTok? They're blaming. TikTok? They're blaming all of technology because apparently they think, and I guess they have studies on this, where it's made everything so easy that we're not engaging the higher levels of our neocortex or whatever, our frontal lobe, because it's being done for us. So the researchers set out to determine whether or not the Flynn effect.

So the study was published by the Journal Intelligence. The Journal Intelligence this month, it indicated that IQ levels had lowered, especially for those with less education in the 18 to 22 age group. Do we need IQ as a study? What if they're getting smarter with technology? They're smarter at doing TikToks.

They're smarter at editing. I mean, if you measure the IQ level of editing, every kid knows how to edit. They're smarter at attention retention. Getting you to engage with something, looking at it for longer. So you just bend over

and you split your cheeks and you got a million likes right there. They're better at that. They're better at telling you what to do and what to think. That's a skill. Telling you you're on notice. Telling you you're on notice. They don't put people on notice.

They know how to create themselves into a brand. They know how to take their affinity for squash pasta and turn themselves into a alternative eating influencer Instagram page. Right. So, I mean, what is IQ? IQ was probably invented at a time where it was more like measured by what? Math aptitude or science aptitude or whatever. Did you ever take an IQ test?

Yeah, I don't think I did very good. I don't think I did very good, but I don't know if I ever did. Did you? No, no. I don't want to know. Yeah, I think the average is a hundo. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

And I think mine looked more like a female Division I college basketball game score. I think the score was 56-53. Yeah, you thought it was the age that you're supposed to get a colonoscopy. That's right. It looked like a recommendation from the CDC on when to get fucking cracked open and cleaned out in your asshole. I don't think I hit 100.

And then supposedly the geniuses are like 120, 130. But here's the deal, dude. I do make a decent point. IQ is a test that was invented at a time. It obviously has some relevancy but does it really now no they'd have to amend it right because like albert einstein could be uh he'd be like oh i can tell you like i don't need to it's already why would i need to know how this works

yeah i have it so like if i want to be a uh surviving member of society i'm not going to waste my time learning how to fucking figure out how this works. I'm going to fucking get ready. Yeah. I don't need to know how gravity works, dude. I just want some tacos.

Yeah, I mean, you know, fucking Barbara Streisand doesn't need to know how the camera works. She just goes side pose, gets the nose, and blows for the gaze. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Madonna doesn't need to go to fucking to MIT to learn how to vogue. Strike a pose. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Madonna doesn't need to go to fucking, to MIT to learn how to vogue. Strike a pose. You know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. Usher don't need to go to Dartmouth to code. There's three eggheads

that need to know how to do this shit, and then you got to go, yeah, yeah. What's up, everybody? I'm going to be in Stanford, Connecticut, April 7th through the 9th. That's it. Which is true. April 7th through the 9th. That's it. Which is true.

April 7th through the 9th, Stanford, Connecticut. Get your tickets. GiannisPappasComedy.com. Faith. I think I've been saying that wrong a lot. Let's see the last one I posted. You know what? I think IQ matters because he didn't have to focus on the phone,

and he fucked that shit up. Yeah, I just posted a video that says April 7th through 9th. He fucked his own dates up, and he didn't have to focus on the phone and he fucked that shit up. Yeah, I just posted a video that says April 7th through 9th. He fucked his own dates up and he didn't have to focus on how the phone works. I think we do need IQ. It's all right, dog. Oh, man. Hopefully it's just not early alls.

I don't want to fucking get to Bruce Willis. Come on, man. By the way, his tooth is gone. What happened to that? You yeah his tooth is gone what happened to that you saw his tooth yes he's missing a tooth too yeah i don't know dude that birthday video was like wild it was like it's my birthday yeah my mom had it um here's the deal the silver lining of it is much less anxiety when you don't know what's going on so my mom was a really anxious woman and boy was she

calm towards the end except that night when she was sundowning and she was like where am i but that was only from the hours of six till during the day she was pleasant she was smiling she was happy you go hey mom what do you think about the potential world war between the the alliance that's forming between russia china uh and iran and United States, and NATO. And she would go, Hey! She'd just give you an immigrant smile and look at you, who are you? She was in a good place.

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with all this stuff you can and can't do you got to take your sneakers off at the airport because some guy tried to blow up a plane 10 years ago failed with his goddamn sneakers i gotta pour out my listerine because supposedly it's possible to make fucking bombs well i don't even know why because maybe it's acid and you can like throw it at someone but how come if it's in a small container i can't throw i don't know why i gotta throw out my fucking listerine but you gotta throw out my fucking Listerine, but you gotta throw out your Listerine because somebody at some point tried to shoot somebody with their

Listerine dick gun, I don't know I don't know why my Listerine's gotta go but it's gotta go, all these things ad nauseum, seatbelts speed limits, etc, etc, etc you gotta get a prescription for certain drugs, you gotta show ID to get Robitussin cause apparently somebody figured out how to get fucking high off Robitussin. You got to show ID to get Robitussin because apparently somebody figured out how to get

fucking high off Robitussin. So I had to pop my ID for Robitussin for my wife the other day because she got a cough. These are allergies, huh? That's how they make meth, right? Yeah, I guess that's how they make meth. So you got to shoot. Yeah. So but what?

Yeah. But what's ID going to do? I can show the ID and then go still make the meth if I know a science professor who has cancer is willing to do it. Make your meth responsible. Yeah, beat over 21 to be able to make your meth. What 14 year old is going to go in there and make meth anyway?

I don't know, whatever it is. It gets you high, I think, the Robitussin, so that's why you've got to show. So there's all these paddings and nerfing. By the way, Elon Musk is pretty libertarian i think it's ironic again this shows that nobody is anything categorically they just think they are because of one or two issues but here he is supposedly very libertarian and here he is like advocating for like government regulation of uh artificial intelligence for the safety of society that's the whole point of all regulation That's the point of the regulation of food

that is more strict in Canada and less people fucking die of poison than over here. Because our food is unregulated and fucking shit. But they regulate certain things. That's the whole point of the FDA, the FCC. It's regulatory bodies that libertarians hate. But here he is, a supposed libertarian. I don't know if he's ever outwardly said it, but he moved to Austin.

So I guess that's what they're all doing out there, right? They want to create like a libertarian fucking tech utopia. That's what Tim Dillon thinks. He was like, that's probably what they're all moving down here for, right? They want to do San Francisco just with guns. San Francisco in like free speech or whatever. San Francisco without the wokeness is what they're trying to do, even though Austin is one of the most woke places in and of itself.

But there's a battle going on. Anyway, I digress. Jesus Christ, I digress. I'm not on Adderall. I'm clear-headed. No coffee, nothing. I've never taken Adderall. Now I'm getting in other people's heads and going like,

are they saying Yanni's on Adderall? I'm not. Maybe I should. Now I'm getting in other people's heads and going like, are they saying Yanni's on Adderall? I'm not. Maybe I should. It would probably calm me down. I don't know. I think it would rile you up a little bit. I just, I'm dehydrated. I need to hydrate.

You need to hydrate. You need to stop touching your nose because people are going to think you snort Adderall. These fucking allergies are getting me. I just came from Austin. So in Austin, they have the cedar fever. When the cedar trees, you know, shoot out barbecue sauce or whatever, it gets in your nose.

And what does that make you do? It makes you vote Democrat? It can make you vote Democrat. Yeah, it makes you lib. It can make you lib. It can make you bedridden lib. And automatically, you start just being very libby. You become a libby libby.

So, you know, I don't know. But so that's what all these regulations are for. And the one that we're stuck up on is guns. There's nobody who wants to budge. We do have some controls in certain states. They all are different. I'm staying away from it. I'm for it and against it.

I'm both. It depends on the situation. You know what I'm for? I'm for gun regulations for everyone else except me. That would be a great world. If I'm the only one who's strapped, I'd feel very good. That's the point of the people. They go like, that would be a great world if I'm the only one who's strapped I'd feel very good yeah and I get that's the point of the people

right they go like hey if you take if the government's the only one that's strapped and we're not strapped that's not fair so you can't just

either side can't write the other side off you can't just continue to go that's wrong you gotta come to the table and negotiate alright and watch my next special

when it comes out because I talk about it and why both of them have good points again. For the fifth time, I talk about it. And I make some good points when my special comes out.

You'll see, or you can see me live April 8th and 9th in Connecticut. April 8th and 9th, right? Or did I fuck that up too? 7th and 8th. What is it?

7th and 8th. April 7th and 8th in Stanford, Connecticut. Tickets, janispappascomedy.com. Also, the Wilbur Theater, July 8th, Boston, Massachusetts. Oh, God. Jared loves when I fuck. It's the biggest laughs when I fuck up. Yeah, yeah. Because, dude, you're my boss. Jared loves when I It's the biggest laughs When I fuck up Yeah yeah

Cause dude You're my boss You get him in the gut with those Oh dude Whenever I fucking Whenever I show a sign of weakness He attacks Yeah yeah

Good belly laughs there Yeah No I deserve it I'm a mess So it's April 7th and 8th April 7th and 8th. April 7th and 8th. Okay.

So let's just move on. Everyone who was hurt in that shooting, rest in peace. But if you're going to do it, you want to get the right club from your golf bag. I'm just saying it's a funny sketch that will never be made,

but I just put the premise, I laid the premise out here, right? School shooter or whatever shooter. Let's get the school out of it because we're writing a sketch here. That's all we're doing. We're playing a game. It's called comedy.

Not a school shooting. It's a, what do people hate? A jail shooting. Somebody's going into jail to do a shooting of murderers. See? Making it safe. They would kind of have a bunch of different guns. And much like a golfer,

they would pick the appropriate gun for the appropriate job. Right. The right tool for the right job. Right tool for the right job. So they walk in the car. We're going to start with the 9-iron. We're going to start with the driver, which is the AR-15. Then we get to the first hole. We're going to switch nine iron. We're going to start with the driver, which is AR-15. Then we get to the

first hole. We're going to switch it up. We're going to go sawed off shotgun. And then we're going to progressively get smaller until you get to your little putter, which is your little 22. That's all I'm saying. Funny sketch. It'll just fade out and it'll say brought to you by Nick DiPaolo Studios. Brought to you by Nick

DiPaolo. And his merch just says Hillary. Can you beep that? I wonder if that's his merch, just Hillary. Bleep it twice. One of the funniest joke writers of all time, Nick DiPaolo. No friend to the left anymore. So rest in peace to everybody.

So Duke Kwan, we got two guys. Duke Kwan is a South Korean guy who was the head of TerraCoin. Now he is, he stole a lot of money. TerraCoin collapsed. He's hiding out in Podgorice, Montenegro, where my friend Marco's from, former Yugoslavia. I've been to Podgorice, Montenegro.

So I guess they want him extradited or something. South Korea's trying to get him. America's trying to get him. I don't understand how the international money world works, but there's the two big international fugitives are Duke Kwan and our boy, Sam Bankman Freed. Again, I don't want to, this is white collar crime at its finest, where these guys stole billions of dollars. And the more money someone steals, the higher intelligence usually.

And I just want to point out that apparently Asians or a subset of Asians and Ashkenazi Jews as a group do tend to have the highest medium IQs. So here you go. You got yourself a Jew and you got yourself a subset of Asian, whatever that may be,

pulling off massive heists. So, intelligent criminals. Yeah, they don't look like they belong on Interpol lists. They look like the highest bidder for a Banksy painting. They look like they should be hanging from a hook by their underwear.

Sam Bankman-Fried, who does look like Horseshack from Sam Bankman-Fried, who does look like Horschak from Welcome Back, Kata. Welcome back. He paid over $40 million. This is like how Stalin, you know, when Stalin was murdering, and it was like you ask how many people Stalin murdered, and you go like millions. It loses a meaning.

You know, like the higher you get, the less meaning. Even for the people who are trying to figure out who's bad, there's something more personal and worse. These are another loopholes in our brain from evolution. We can't fathom big stuff, right? So for some reason, we think like the biggest stuff isn't as bad as the smaller stuff. Like these guys, right?

So if you stole a couple thousand dollars from someone's house, like the biggest stuff isn't as bad as the smaller stuff. Like these guys, right? So if you stole a couple thousand dollars from someone's house, you'd probably go to jail longer than fucking Sam Brinkman Freed who stole billions from people and who paid over $40 million. Do you know how much $40 million is? He paid Aaron Judge's contract in a bribe to a Chinese official. And we can't even fathom that. It doesn't even sound bad, right? But if someone goes, hey, man, you stole $100,000 from me,

like, yo, that dude is a horrible human being. But if you say, hey, man, he stole $40 million, you're like, oh, man, that's a, where does he live? Yeah, we say if he can steal that much, then he deserves to have it. Yeah yeah and i also think our brains can't even like grok it we can't even like understand it it's like when stalin when you go like everyone always goes like straight to hitler is the worst or like you have to bring up stalin especially because people like idealize communism or whatever and they go like it's a beautiful idea yeah but it's like yeah but stalin wanted that but that aside i mean st that aside, Stalin murdered millions.

He murdered more people than Hitler. Yeah, it was his own people, though. I think maybe that's what I... You're like, Russians, they like to die. Yeah. They like to die. They're double-A batteries of people. Yeah, they go, Greeks like to play dominoes, Russians like to die.

Greeks love dominoes. Huge. Really? I think it's the most popular game in Greece You see old men sitting there They love dominoes And they love backgammon I'm sorry Backgammon and dominoes Huge

Dominicans love dominoes too Yeah Big time But Greeks love it And they love backgammon Backgammon is a very strategic game Hard to play So of backgammon backgammon is a very strategic game hard to play um so i guess he's being um

who's chasing him the indictment and where's the so just there's no comedy here i'm just it's just so i want to learn and so you can learn who's actually going after him like what body is going after him is it like an international body is it like countries together is it governments together they're going after him who is it it's the justice department it's the judge so it's an american justice department so how did they have a reach over in china you know like is china cooperating is like I don't understand that they were probably looking through his finances you know they have access to all his accounts now so maybe they saw and so

what does he get charged with like an international monetary crime or something yeah I'm sure they could find something to come up with you're you're a child of a lawyer they can come up with anything I guess they can you know I just always find that these guys like go away for eight months in the like yeah minimum security prisons and they it's almost like worth the crime especially with all that money it's like all that money it's like it's just almost worth the crime you know you know somebody's getting that money yeah somebody has it somebody has it and people want it yes so that's his that's his leverage right so you can be like hey give me a light sentence and I'll tell you where it's hidden. And then how about this other guy, Duke Kwan?

Because this is also fascinating. So Duke Kwan, first of all, besides the fact that he has a really funny name, Duke Kwan. It's like, all right, calm down. Yeah, it sounds like he's giving you an order. Duke Kwan. You're like, what's Kwan, dude?

Calm down. I'll do what I want to do. I'm listening to you. So he was the Terra Luna founder, right? So what was it? TerraCoin, which at one point was one of the mainstream ones, right? So Terra founder, do Kwan. What's up with this $40 million, $40 billion number? 40 is the magic number right here.

Sam Bankman freed, bribed a Chinese official with $40 million. That's a hell of a bribe. If you can do a hush payment of $40 million, you know, that means you got billions, dog. Billions.

So this guy, the U.S. Securities and Exchange, the SEC, is suing him. And he's the creator of Terra Blockchain. He's also being sued by Fat Joe. For what? For the Duquan? No, Terra Squad. Oh, Terra Squad. Yeah, right.

That's what you call a copyright infringement. Yeah. Terra Coin, Terra Squad. Fat Joe looked better fat. Skinny Fat Joe is weird. Yeah, especially when you don't put cake fondant on your beard. Yeah. He's all knock-kneed. It's weird.

So, according to the complaint, Terraform Labs and its founder, Duquan, perpetrated a fraudulent scheme that led to the loss of at least $40 billion. You can't even imagine $40 billion. I can't even imagine of market billion. I can't even imagine of market value. I don't even... So South Korea. See, this is my point.

So this is sort of a concerted effort between two countries. The United States, South Korea issued a warrant for Kwon's arrest. Supposedly, he's hiding out in Montenegro while Interpol... So Interpol, what are they? An international police squad? Yeah. That goes after... All the police around it from every country around the world.

Oh, so they cooperate. Yeah. So your pops will get a call from like a Swiss. Your pops used to, or your brother will get a call if there's some Swiss criminal or some Russian criminal hiding out in Long Island. Well, they have their own agencies in each country, but yeah. I would love to be on that call, right? Hello, this is a hans feigen from frankfurt uh germany um can i please uh can i please speak to uh officer um officer

uh carmine uh carmine spaglia that she plays You're just like, yo, I didn't order any fucking waffles, all right? Carmine, hello. This is Heisenforten from Frankfurt. Yeah, how are you doing? How are you doing, officer? How are you? This is Carmine out here. Yeah, I'm out here in Regal Park.

What's going on? We got a problem here? Yeah, oh, you got a German national here? He's hiding out there in, okay. He's down there by the Wall Women Wall. Okay, well, I'm going to dispatch A couple of officers To West Elm right now

If he's presently Looking at couches Hopefully we can catch him Over there by Cinnabons As soon as that's over If not we'll get him over At La Pianza Where he's going at dinner

He's got reservations Later at La Pianza And then after that He's going to Robert Moses Beach Because it's a nice Hot July day So he's going to Robert Moses Beach Because it's a nice hot July day So he's going to Robert Moses Beach

And we'll get him there And then he may go over to the North Shore And then after that He might go to Ocean Prime To sit by the water And sail Take a sailboat across the Connecticut Oh he's going to Montauk for the weekend

We'll go catch him out there at Montauk He's going out there Tok for the weekend We'll go catch him out there at Montauk He's going out there To get some delicious Shelves fish Thank you so much officer Carmine That would be fun So that's what Interpol is Sort of like they have offices everywhere

And they coordinate with different police officers To get international criminals. Yeah, world policing system, yeah. Love that shit. I would do that shit. That's an exciting job. That sounds cool, yeah. I would do that in a heartbeat.

You'd do that, right? Yeah. If you didn't have that performing gene. Yeah. I like to be in show business. Yeah, yeah. That's what our hearts are. We walk around like, yo, what up?

I'm about to, yo, Jared, you about to do your 20 minutes. Go crush out there and then I'll go up there. I think we're so cool. And then we just Go out there and go We just click our heels We are in show business

I think I'm cool Because I have a Black Panther chain Yes The Black Panther chain Yeah That comes with My superhero shirt

My Superman shirt What happened to The Black Panther chain Oh it's still on It's still on You weren't wearing it For a second No I've always had it on

Under the shirt He's just tucking it He's tucking it It's still on. You weren't wearing it for a second. No, I've always had it on. It's under the shirt. He's just tucking it. He's tucking it. It's a nice chain. I think we had fun with that a couple of episodes. When was that? When I first got it, yeah. Yeah, we first got it.

After Christmas. But yeah, we do have a performing gene. I can't be in the police system. I can't tell nobody to freeze while doing jazz hands. No. Because if you were doing policing, you'd start, you'd come up to a car and be like, what's up, everybody?

Y'all good? Okay. What's up, everybody? Y'all good? Okay. What's up, everybody? Y'all good? What y'all doing over here? Y'all good? No, come on. Let me feel you from inside that Honda Civic.

Are y'all good? I'm talking to you in a Honda Civic. Are y'all good? Okay. That was what you call a good one. Love Jared Harvin. Go follow Jay Harvin 15 on all his socials. Did you do a musical?

No, no. Never had any musicals. No, he's got the performance sheet like I got. We all got. No, but he went to theater school. He did acting. I didn't sing. Yeah, I just did acting.

He's a good actor, man. You know? He's going to be a big star. star. So the Terra USA started crashing last year. So did Luna, vaporizing the billions

of dollars hopeful investors threw at the cryptocurrencies. I mean, whose fault is it really? Let me just say this, and it's the name of the episode. When it is too good to be true, it is not true because nothing true is too good, period. I have nothing to add to that statement, whether that be a financial investment, a friendship, business opportunity, relationship.

Discount on OnlyFans. Discount on an OnlyFans. There's a catch. They're roping you in. For every advertisement I read on this episode, there's a catch. Do we have any ads? Yeah. Okay.

Doesn't mean it's not a great product, but you are getting roped in. So, you know, if you invested all your money in Terra, I mean, what do you want from me, dog? Stick to the big two, the Coke and Pepsi. Real estate and stock market. Oh, and crypto at least. Oh. Bitcoin and what's the other one?

Ethereum? Ethereum. Yeah, Bitcoin. Stick to those. In crypto at least Bitcoin and What's the other one? Ethereum? Ethereum Yeah, Bitcoin Stick to those So at least you'll feel better About putting your money Into a fucking thing That's invisible

Jesse, with those glasses You look like you're about To sell me snake oil I'm sorry Jesse, you look like You're inspecting a diamond For You look like you're

Inspecting a diamond For Indiana Jones Yeah You look like an apotheing a diamond for Indiana Jones. Yeah. You look like an apothecary in Wild Wild West. Hey, next week I'm coming in in a corduroy blazer with some elbow patches. Come do that. Yeah, then I'll hand you a fucking diamond. You tell me how many carats it is.

Either that or you can take my inseam. Yeah. You look like my dad trying to help me get a hangnail out of my toe. With tweezers. These are good because I can see over the top. Yeah, you can see over the top and you look down. I mean, look, everyone's eyes at a certain point, you lose the reading capability is what it is.

We stare at screens all day too, so it's going to happen younger and younger. But reading glasses just come into play at some point for everybody. Does your dad got reading glasses? Yeah. Yeah, it just happens, man. So those of you two, just for you to know, those of you two international men of mystery now,

there's no more James Bond guys. There's just a couple, two geeks on the run. Two finger sniffers. Yeah. That committed the biggest crimes. The rest of them at a 7-Eleven getting a big gulp. That's really where you could find them. Yeah.

I mean, that's really where you'd see Sam Bankman Freed. At a 7-Eleven getting a big gulp. Walking out with his stupid sneakers, tightly laced, and like sports socks and just, you know, like scruffy beard, but not like shaped up, just like scruffy with like a rash under his beard and like a swatch watch

and like a comic book t-shirt. Loose fitting cargo shorts. Yeah, loose fitting cargo shorts. Yeah, just, and he's a billionaire and he's getting a big gulp because he's a nerd. Nerds love big gulps. Why is that?

I don't know. They love big gulps. Yeah. They love 7-Eleven, too. They love snacks. They'll go in there. They love getting Doritos and big gulps and sitting there and sniffing their fingers and playing video games.

You ever notice they just sniff their fingers? They do think they're so smart, they're unconsciously picking their ear while other people are around so they don't have social norms because they're so such eggheads that they're lost in their thoughts and they're just sitting there and they're like they sit indian style on their couch just wiggling their toe and you're going like you're disgusting and like oh sorry i forgot i'm a i have a 140 iq or whatever like that means anything. So let's talk about these Cali reparations. Jared, you have the floor.

Let's pull this up and let's go over this. So what is it? The Californian people are trying to give black californians the reparations could go up to 100 billion dollars 800 billion 800 billion see that's what happens when the number gets so big you're like what yeah it's like what is it's a big number but that's how they get you because it's saying up to 800 billion right really this shit could be five dollars that's like when they do when they go when they go sales up to 40% off, and then you go get the shirt,

and they're like, this particular shirt is half of a percentage off. And you're like, I thought it said 80% off. And they said, no, if you read the sign carefully, it said up to 80% off. And you're like,

what's 80% off? And they go, well, the thing that was 80% off got sold. That's like the $3.99 gag. The gag, you like that. So let's get into the details of this. So it says, it could cost California more than $800 billion

to compensate black residents for generations over policing, disproportionate incarceration, housing discrimination. So they're trying to level the playing field here based on stats. So this is sort of one of those equality of outcome situations, trying to wrong, right the wrongs of history situations. That's not enough, though. The preliminary estimate is more than 2.5 times California's $300 billion annual budget.

It does not include a recommended $1.5 million per older black resident for health disparities that have shortened their lifespan. What the fuck? It's almost like they looked at data and they were just like, how do we give money to this data where this group is disproportionately represented in health? So black residents may not receive cash payments anytime soon, if ever, because the state may never adopt the economist's calculations.

So there's a reparations task force that is scheduled to discuss the numbers Wednesday and can vote to adopt the suggestions or come up with its own figures. The proposed number comes from a consulting team of five economists and policy experts. We've got to go in with an open mind and come up with some creative ways to deal with this.

Assembly member Reggie Jones-Sawyer, one of two lawmakers on the task force, said, so this is state legislators and Gavin Newsom before the reparations could become reality. Holy shit. In an interview prior to the meeting, meeting jones sawyer said he needed to consult budget analysts other legislators and so let's talk about this since this is a non-controversial issue first off eight billion way too low 800 billion 800 billion way too low what do you want because that's not going to even cover our sneaker costs that's gonna you're gonna need another yeah yeah you're gonna need another couple of billion. Those original Jordan Chicago ones cost about that.

So I need a little bit more. Yeah. If I said that joke, I'm going to jail. Yeah. I said it vicariously for you. Yes. Thank you. Yes.

So that is true. We're going to have to deal with that. There should be a sneaker sub. There could it could be a line item a sneaker line yeah it's gotta be it's gotta be that's when you get to you know like um uh goodwill hunting when uh ben affleck goes in there uh pretending that he's matt damon the retainer part which is a funny scene retainer that's when you get that guy going in there you know negotiate going like we okay 800 billion but what about our sneaker budget it's like okay what do you need well depends on what you mean by need i would like um 800 billion it could be up to 800 billion.

So we don't know what the number is, but where's the money going to come from? And can you take money? Like, let's say you're a taxpayer in California, and I don't know. Did you see the reparations episode of Atlanta? No. Where what they did was if your family held slaves,

you had to pay a tax. I like that. Yeah. How about that? Yeah. You know? Because now with all the DNA, they could just trace you back, see where you're from.

How about this one? Let's have some fun. What if you're half black, half white? What if your dad's white, your mom's black? And does your mom get the payment if your dad's white, your mom's black? And does your mom get to get the payment from your dad? The only thing is

you get the money but you have to burn half of it. You got to burn half of it. Imagine that. That's tough. You know, as people, I don't know how people

who are half black, half white, like deal with this issue in America. It's got to be tough. It's easy to just become NBA superstars. That's the only way to do it. Yeah.

Or like Derek. It's constantly like you got to always constantly hear about this shit. People are so caught up on fucking the way people look or who gives a shit. way people look or who gives a shit one day in the future if we make it again i think a generation will grow up where like there's just there's that sensitivity is over so i think human beings will evolve past their lesser angels at a certain point and everyone will look the same at one point if we keep on intermixing yeah you're not going to be able to tell we'll still have our differences because different regions and that happens over so many periods of time but like you got to understand like we've only come together that you know travel has made this

all possible pretty recently i mean there's been diverse places in the world but travel has now accelerated that to the point where we're just like whoa we're here yeah hi and you're like whoa everyone's like what the fuck what's like, what the fuck? What's your culture? What's mine? So everyone's just figuring it out. We just got here. We just got Korean and Mexican burritos.

We just got the Korean-Mexican Tex-Mex. We just got Tex-Mex. Just got that. We just got Cuban-Chinese food. You know that fusion? There was a famous restaurant up west side that closed. Asia de Cuba. Yeah.

It was delicious. You ever tried Korean fried chicken? Yeah. It's great. We just got those fusions. I went to a Dominican Japan spot last week. It was good? It was really good.

Yeah. I had sushi wrapped in mofongo. Was it good? Not even kidding. Yeah, it was good. It was good. Yeah. We just got here.

We just got here. There will come a day, dude. There's going to come a... Because you know what I mean? It's the thing. I grew up... When you grow up, when you're exposed to it, you realize there's gonna come a because you know what i mean like it it's the thing like i grew up like when you grow up when you're exposed to it you realize like there's no there's no big deal it's kind of like you know what i mean if they did a study like if they did a study and no the kids

didn't know nothing and they they brought them up like without knowing any of the history problems or whatever kids wouldn't the kids wouldn't know the fucking difference they would probably make light-hearted jokes about the differences between them, but they'd be friends and stuff like that. No, kind of like the way we grew up in a large part,

you know? Because it's a normal thing. Yeah. You know? It's always the people who are exposed to the thing the least who know the most about it. You know?

That's, that's, that's the first question I want to know when someone has something to say. It's like, what have you done? What's your experience in this field? And then explain it to me. Anyway, I hate when I get preachy.

Just the problem is I'm just right a lot. I'm probably not right a lot. And if I just realize that, I'll just hang up my fucking harangue hat and just go for the joke. But look, I don't know what you do here. If you're an interracial couple,

I mean, somebody's getting paid and someone's losing a lot of money. How do they do that? Is there an exception there? What if, but I do like that Atlanta idea. So if you're a family, if you can prove, but is that fair to fucking, you know, how do they do that is there an exception there what if but I do like that Atlanta idea so if your family if you can prove

but is that fair to fucking you know if you're like Hitler's great great great grandson you fucking like you know if you're if they're giving reparations to Jews

do you take it from him I mean what did he do he's a whole different person yeah but his family has benefited over the years from unpaid labor right but what if he different person. Yeah, but his family has benefited over the years from unpaid labor, right? But what if he hasn't inherited any money from his family?

What if he works at Burger King? What if he currently works at Burger King? That person. Yeah, what if he currently works at Burger King? Yeah. So what do you do? Where's the money going to come from? That's what made the show interesting, because the guy that they went after didn't have any money. You're making me want to watch Atlanta.

It's a good show. It's a really good show. You should. It sounds like a fun premise. Yeah, I mean, I heard it's good for so many people. If we lived in a smarter society,

that would probably be a much more popular show. It's dark. Which means it's good. All the best stuff. Life can be dark. What do you mean by that? Like,

you know here's the thing this is how you know context is everything and how we're children now and children who doesn't get context children adults do here's how you can change that right if he went to dark show and threw a wink in there if he threw me a wink totally different meaning than uh it's a dark show right if you just one little wink or if you say it the way you say it hey man it's a pretty dark show you know what i mean man that show can get dark then you're like oh there's nothing but if you go hey man that show can get dark and you move your eyes like that totally different yeah totally different nuance context baby grow the fuck up i don't know so i think they're gonna do it here's what's what's going to happen in reality. People are going to fucking leave California.

Nobody's, people aren't going to go like, hey, I'm going to stick around to get, to have my money taken from me to give to descendants of Slate. Like, they're going to be like, what? I'm just a fucking guy. They're going to be like, I'm a copywriter. Some guy's going to be like, I'm a fucking barista.

What are you going to take? So I don't know how this is going to work. If you could take it from like, I wouldn't be against financial reparations. A little money doesn't hurt. If I was black, I'd be like, yeah, sounds good. The Jews got it, right? From the Germans.

The Germans. Germany paid Israel, right? They paid them something. They gave Israel money money it's not a crazy idea when people go like oh this is an absurd idea not necessarily you know it's a little different though because germany well you know is giving it to another country so you're not really around the effects of the money it will be will i think white people will be angered if they're driving the streets of la and they just see nothing but escalates i knew it was coming it was a good one again in the atlanta episode

you see uh black guys uh gassing up their lambos oh yeah But then you go, is money, can you compensate with money? You know, like. Money goes a long way. Goes a long way. Where would the money come from? It could come somewhere other than taxpayers' pockets. The government, well, taxpayers, any additional, they could take allocated,

they could reallocate like some of the military budget if that is deemed redundant. I don't know when that will ever be deemed redundant. I guess when we can blow up the world a million times over, it may be deemed redundant. And then you could do a one-time bang. Just a boom. Everybody gets, what, 50 Gs, 80 Gs, whatever you want to do. Am I low on it? 300 Gs? It would be kind of nice if everyone just got 100 Gs.

What do you mean by everyone? If every descendant of slaves got 100 Gs, you know there'd be a lot of africans who weren't born here they're trying to scam it in you know they'd be hiding those accents nigerians be coming in trying to be like they'd be struggling hello they'd be trying real hard not to have that yeah yeah you know yeah y'all heard that uh do uh 50 cent album that shit tight yeah and if you think Sean King is

the only person there will be a lot of dudes going like what's up man I'm light skinned what's up if you you know

fucking there'll be a lot of Elizabeth Warrens coming with 23andMe stock would go through the roof yo son I'm 5% African

yeah but yeah there you go 5% so at what percent do you cut that off, too? You know? Do you give somebody who's got 3% African? Even 10% is not a lot.

16%? I mean, where do you cut it off? You know? Would it be? Yeah, that is true because, you know, plus if you're Ferguson, one drop of black blood is black. So that comes from our own legislation of our government. So then maybe give it to everyone who's got a drop.

Yeah, give it a drop. Or if you have under a certain percentage, all you get is an ice pack for your back. You get it based on your percentage. It's a sliding scale based on your DNA. So if you're 100%, you get this amount. You get a percent. I like that. Yeah, if you're 60,

you get a lifetime supply of Palmers. That's a great thing. Yeah. Yeah. If you're 80, you get like a nice TV watching chair. Lifetime supply of applesauce. You get a carte blanche lifetime

paid for diner booth where you can sit and eat whatever. Old people love a diner. Yeah. That's a good idea. Do you know how many white dudes would be rushing to Bank Sisters if this happened? They'd be like, yeah, let me get a piece.

It would be really funny. People would try to give you a lot of scams. People would be like, I'm part black. You see a lot more interracial couples. There'll be people brushing up on their black. All of a sudden, Dominicans will be like, no, we're black. We're black. No, we're black.

Because they're always like, no, we're Latino. We're Latino. We're not black. And I'd be like, no, we're black. Very funny. Yeah. What do you do with Dolezal? Does she get the payment?

She's got black kids. I think she gives the honorary payment. She gets grandfathered in. Yeah. What do you do with Dolezal? Does she get the payment? She's got black kids. I think she gives the honorary payment. She gets grandfathered in. Yeah. I think this is what I truly think at this point. I know I've made jokes about Dolezal, Sean King, and then the last one, Sarawati, all these. But I think if you want to be something,

you should be able to be something. It's America, right? Why not? Why not? If you're like, hey, I want to be black, can't you just be black? Right? Even if it's not true or no. It's true, but this is America, so you have to pay money in order to do something. But I think in that case, it's either money or you have to pay something. You have to give something up. You got to give something to the black community. You got to buy in blackness.

I like your fucking ideas today. You got to get a subscription. You're coming with some good fucking ideas. You got to buy in. I fucking love it, dude. The black community is looking for a strong new leader. And brother, it could be you. With your ideas.

No, don't put me on that shit. No. Are you kidding me? How come nobody came up with the idea? Like, listen. We'll call it, you call it the, what's her name? Rachel Dolezal law. You know, there's like, people have laws named after them.

Baseball rules. There's rules after. Tommy John surgery was named after Tommy John. Then we have the Rachel Dolezal clause, where if you, you can, like, the way you can apply for citizenship, you can apply for blackness. But you gotta pay, like, it's like a passport fee.

You gotta pay $225 to get your passport. You gotta pay a certain amount to achieve African-American status. Yes. Yeah. And you got to commit all the way. You got to commit all the way. And you can't go back.

Because once you go black, you can't go back. Yeah, you can't. You can't go black. You got to take literally C-tests. You can't go black. You got to do all that shit. The cops pull you over,

you can't go back. Right. That shit gets documented. You go to prison if that happens. The cops pull you over and you go, hi, officer. Hi.

My name's not Richard Dawson. My name is Kimberly Sticey Johnson. I'm from Iowa. You can't do that. You can't go back. I love it. And then maybe that's where the reparations come from because if they did that,

you know a lot of people would be applying for their black citizenship. A lot of white people want in. Oh, yeah. We grew up with a few. Yeah. Yeah. At one point, I would have wanted in.

I would be black right now. I would have got my citizenship around 16, 17. I grew up with a few. Yeah. Yeah. At one point, I would have wanted it. I would be black right now. I would have got my citizenship around 16, 17. I may do it now. I may do it now. Yeah. It's never too late. It's never too late. Never too late to change your life.

I think that's a great idea, man. Yeah. I think that's one of the greatest ideas I've ever heard. Then there's no more controversy. Then you achieve transracial. And maybe we can do something also with the trans women. And that's where the reparations come from. They come from there.

The fees that they pay. Right. And you guys can recruit. There'll be commercials. Go to Bahamas. There'll be tourism bureau commercials from blacks just making it appealing. You see the club and be, like, Tourism Bureau commercials from, like, blacks, like, just making it appealing. You see the club and everyone's, like, you know, just fucking passing fucking weed around, sharing it. And the music is just hitting and everybody's just vibing on the dance floor.

And you're like, I want part of that. I want part of that. And it's like, yo, man, instead of come to Barbados, it's like, yo, come. Come to black. Yo, come to black, man. Come on down. First in line, Bill Clinton. And they recruit.

Like the military recruits, you recruit. Or like Scientology. Or like Scientology, you recruit. And then that funds reparations. That's a business. That could be a business. I love it. Your ideas today are, I i mean you should run for

office man at least city council or something get in state legislature something get these ideas pushed forward um yeah we'll end on um you know two things renewable energy has surpassed coal for the first time in 2022. So last year, renewable energy in America has officially surpassed coal. So we're doing something for climate change. And guess which the two states that are leading the way are? California, expectedly California, but unexpectedly Tejas. Yeehaw! Tejas. Yeehaw. Tejas.

So electricity generated from renewables now accounts for 14% of the electricity produced domestically. Hydropower contributed 6% and biomass and geothermal sources generated less than 1%. I don't know what any of that shit means. I guess hydropower is water. Yeah.

It's water. With a dam. I'm happy to see we've crossed the threshold, but only a step in the right direction, said Stephen Porter, professor of ecology at Brown. California produced 28% of the national utility scale solar electricity, followed by Tejas with 16%. That's a lot.

And North Carolina with eight. But, yo, California, 26. That's a lot. They're doing good with it. The most wind-generated, though, here you go, occurred in Texas, which accounted for 26% of the U.S. total. And Iowa, 10%. Oklahoma, 9%.

The booming growth is driven large by economics, though, which is good. It shows there's some merit to capitalist drive, said Gregory. It can be moral. It can help. It brings people out of poverty, as we've noted. So President and CEO of American Council on Renewable Energy, over the past decade, the levelized cost of wind energy declined by 70%. So I guess it all had to do with how expensive it was. It's become cheaper, and now people are doing it because it's overall cheaper. I mean, that's why I did it. I'll be honest.

What, the Tesla? Yeah, I mean, I got a Tesla not because I was like, hey, save the planet. Man. I was like, yo, look at these gas prices. I plug this shit into my house like a fucking, like a manscape razor. I like that shit. Yeah, but how's the electric bill, though? It's not bad. No? It's not bad.

No? It's not bad, no, dude. And then when you charge it on the road, you're talking like 15, 20 bucks to charge the whole fucking thing. Sometimes 12 bucks, 9 bucks, depending on how you time it out, compared to, you know,

50, 60, 70 bucks, and you're subject to the marketplace. Plus, you can get the Tesla roof and then mostly get off the grid and get powered by the sun if you wanted to. Renewable energy is the way, man. That's the way, man. Do you think we should put wind farms in the most impoverished,

crime-ridden places in the United States? Give me your reasoning why, Mr. Ideas today. That may be the name of the episode is Mr. Ideas. So say you put wind farms in Chicago, Southside, right? Yeah. Keeps people off the streets because the wind is going so bad. No more crime. So you blow people over. No, no, no. So the Windy City becomes literally windy. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You keep people off the streets. So they're about to shoot and they just blow away. Yeah, or they shoot and the bullet ricochets and it goes somewhere in Wisconsin. The power of the wind shoots themselves. Yeah, exactly.

I like that. So it discourages people from shooting. Exactly. So you clean up the streets. Right. And you have more renewable energy. I fucking love it. Mr. Ideas is on a roll today. You put the wind power on the south side of Chicago.

Yeah. So, but how are people going to get to the grocery store? You turn it off for old women who want to go to the groceries. You can't blow over old women. You have underground transports. A fucking kid is killing it. Yeah. So you have to show ID as a constructive member of society

to use the underground transports that put you to the supermarket. Exactly. And this is only an ad hoc idea until crime goes down and all the people who are shooting, the gangs who are shooting, shoot themselves because the wind blows the bullet right back in. Exactly. Crime is fucking solved. Crime is solved.

Mr. Lori Lightfoot, everybody, for Mayor of Chicago. Yeah, but this is just going to be like Jared Harvard hates black people. Yeah. I mean, it could be interpreted that way if someone doesn't have a sense of humor. But you know what?

There's one podcast where we ain't scared to go for a joke, and that's here. We love all of you dearly. You're our fans. Please tell your friends about the podcast. Spread the word, man. Patreon, too.

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So I don't know what's going on with ForTheFree.art. Message us. Yeah, last show, December 10th, 2022. Yeah, last show was December. Not too long ago. Yeah. Not too long ago. So they're probably still doing it. Yeah, the last show was December. Not too long ago. Yeah. Not too long ago. So they're probably still doing it.

Yeah. It's a great site, and I just listened to some good music over there. So forthefree.art. They've been with us a long time. Very loyal. But equally as loyal is our boy Jared from San Antonio.

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I'm going to read it like Max Payne. War is in the air once again as organized crime syndicates in the inner and outer city clash to fight for power and vengeance. Jericho, an aging ex... He misspelled aging.

This guy doesn't have an editor. An aging ex-militia general that kept the peace of the city finds that his heroic feats are long forgotten, while Kay, a charismatic leader from the slums, rises to seek revenge. As guerrilla warfare ignites and unimaginable terror blazes through the city,

Jericho begins to realize that it may not be as simple as it once used to be. The city's free to read online at sarazar.com, but people can purchase physical print issues to help support the team. People can also follow his Instagram handle at thecitygraphicnovel. They have two chapters online,

but chapter three will be uploaded shortly. But go support this kid. Read the novel, David Cho. Good luck. It's been a long day.