Yannis Pappas Hour - Joke Gandhi: Hasan Minhaj & The Post-Truth Era | YP Hour

Episode Date: September 22, 2023

Yanni has a lit cold opening but doesn’t get to any of that other news. This episode is all about Hasan Minhaj and his “emotional truths”…What can you do. Yanni is sick of personality fraud and he goes foaming. His tweet about a new era coming where we learn 70 percent of the people we love are frauds, seems to be prophetic. Finally, Yanni takes aim at the media for kid gloving Hasan while they torched Steve Ranizzisi. Yanni loved Hasan and is broken hearted! Not really, but why not! It’s his emotional truth! Where news meets pizza plates!   See Yanni do stand up live in your town:   Calgary Sept 22–23 FORt Wayne, Indiana Sept 29-30 Red Bank, NJ Oct 14 San Fran Oct 27-28 New York City Nov 4 Providence Nov 10-11 Phoenix Nov 16-18 Spokane Dec 1-2 Tulsa Dec 8-9 Louisville Dec 15-16 Portland Jan 11 Vancouver Jan 12 Toronto March 23 San Diego Kansas City  Ticket links on yannispappascomedy.com   Join our highlights page for highlight clips from the episodes: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykw   new bonus episodes every Wednesday at https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour?utm_campaign=creatorshare_  Support our Sponsors:  Factor Meals Go to factormeals.com/YANNIS50 and use code YANNIS50 to get 50% off. https://www.factor75.com/pages/podcast?c=YANNIS50&mealsize=8-1&c_comms=PERCENT&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=cpm&utm_campaign=podcast50off&utm_content=act_podcast_podcastads&vs_campaign_id=07a8da85-76a7-4540-8dc1-4e6861f6b4c8

What's up everybody welcome to the Yanis Pappas hour your news at 1113 at the top of the hour I want to read a statement by our network the Yanis Pappas hour the statement is by Yanis Pappas and is straight from his ex profile it says this has been the post-truth era, an era marked by the democratization of marketing overshadowing reality. Confidence men, grifters, and frauds have flourished. We are entering a new era where people will realize

that 70% of the people they liked are frauds. That was written by ChatGBT. China and the United States, will they coexist? Will Pink and her skater boyfriend get back together after breaking up twice? Is China and the United States the new Pink marriage? Because President Xi just said, hold up. Can't we just all get along?

When did President Xi become Rodney King? It put me in a good mood. It felt like a goddamn mood improvement. It felt like I just took a bump of coke. Thank you. There is hope. President Z. And he's probably doing that because the economy is not looking too good. A lot of empty skyscrapers and a lot of American companies, which is their cocaine that they need from us,

going to Vietnam and India and Sri Lanka and whatever other big-headed third-world country there's going to be making our stuff. So maybe the presidency's going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's be frenemies again. Air taxis are being made in Ohio. Lauren Burbert is fucking hot. That's all I gotta say is that she looked good.

Can I say that I masturbated to that CCC TV footage? Because I did. Thank God there is security footage inside of that movie theater. I think it was a play actually, Beetlejuice. When you go to Beetlejuice with a guy and you're

dressed like that, you know you're not going for the play. You're going for the hand play, not the play. And that's exactly what they were doing. Thank God we had that night vision scream too because we saw her vaping and I also saw her fart. Fart. You know how you can see the smoke when you fart in the

whatever it is, the blue vision or whatever it is? Russell Brand, Hasan Minhaj, and Austin Church is using GBT. God is a robot. The dress code in Congress is going away, all for one guy. You remember how we all got to take our shoes off at the goddamn airport because of one guy who tried to blow a plane up with his goddamn kangaroos on?

Well, now, because of one guy in the Congress, you can just walk in looking like you're fixing the air conditioner because of Fetterman from Pennsylvania. All right? You know how many times people in the hall have been like, are you here for what repair? I am not for this. Can we have some code of conduct for I should have no dress code?

Because I wasn't elected by the people. I was elected by God to do this job and give you the news headlines that you want to hear every week. Where news meets pizza. Welcome to the Giannis Pappas Hour. As always, take your panties out. If you don't got panties, go steal a pair. Put them on your head and let's get into this week's What's the Dill He Has. Thank you to our sponsor, Factor.

Factor is America's number one ready-to-eat meal kit. It can help you fuel up fast with chef-prepared, dietician-approved, ready-to-eat meals delivered straight to your door. You'll save time, eat well, and stay on track with your healthy lifestyle. Head to factormeals.com slash Giannis50 and use code Giannis50 to get 50% off. That's code Giannis50 at factormeals.com slash Giannis50 and use code Giannis50 to get 50% off. That's code Giannis50

at factormeals.com slash Giannis50 to get 50% off. What's up, everybody? See me live right after you go to patreon.com slash Giannis Pappas and join our bonus channel for our weekly bonus episodes. You can see me right now in Calgary, Alberta. Two shows tomorrow, Saturday, September 22nd, 23rd. Fort Wayne, Indiana coming up next weekend, September 29th and 30th. The Vogel in New Jersey is sold out October 14th. Austin is sold out October 19th to the 22nd. Cobbs in San Francisco, October 27th, 28th. Sony Hall in New York, that's selling out.

If you want tickets, get them now. I think one show is sold out. Providence,mber 10th and 11th also will show out a sellout phoenix november 16th and 17th get those tickets don't wait spokane washington december 1st and 2nd uh tulsa december 8th and 9th louisville december 15th and 16th vancouver january 12th uh toronto ontario march 23rd. Kansas City, Missouri. Kansas City, MO. That's Missouri, right?

Yeah. April 11th through the 13th. How about them apples? Now, I would like to tell you I will also be in Portland, Oregon at Revolution Hall on January 11th. Tickets will be on sale soon. And also San Diego, February 23rd and 24th. So get your tickets at yannispappascomedy.com. Now let's check out this app. I'd like to read one more statement that I wrote with the help of ChatGBT. This is the era of American culture characterized by deceptive practices. It seems to attract individuals with a range of traits, including borderlines, psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists.

It could be seen as a breeding ground for dishonesty. And these traits have become more prevalent in academia, media, comedy, and business over the past couple of decades. Some may argue that society has been consuming deceitful content without realizing it. Thank you. Chat GBT for cleaning that up for me. If only we could run this podcast through a chat GBT filter. Every time I mispronounce something that would help,

but there ain't no robots that could take on Yanni's brain. But maybe we're in this era now where does it have to be real? If ChatBD can write a sermon at a church and conduct church, if ChatB D can write Jesse's advertising pitch this week, Wait, don't tell anybody. They don't watch this. Then maybe

Hasan Minhaj is avant-garde. Hasan Minhaj. Hasan Minhaj, you may know him from his daily show appearances, his Netflix specials, and how he's been sent to America by God to save the Indians from discrimination. I like to call him Gandhi.

I like to call him Joke Gandhi. He's here to end the horrific discrimination that South Asians experience in America, especially post 9-11. And as a handsome with amazing hair Muslim Indian, he has been in a unique position to be installed by the mainstream media as the comedian du jour for leading the fight against privilege and white supremacy. He broke a bunch of barriers by being the only South American. Sorry, that was my racism coming in. I saw the brown skin. I said South American. The only South Asian to ever go to Harvard

and graduate and become successful. He's the only one besides all the rest of them that lead the country in success after arriving here in the 1970s. They came here in the 1970s. They came here in the 1970s. You know how big the loophole they had to jump? You know what kind of discrimination loophole the South Asians had to jump through?

It was about this big. They went like this. It was like a puddle that they just had to step over. They got here and a few people went, booty, booty, booty, boo. And then that was it. Maybe a few people called you a poo. Big deal.

But you know, black people are so cool. They've had their music stolen from them, their jargon, their expressions, their fashion, their music. And now people are stealing their struggle. Everyone has adopted the black struggle as their struggle when really you're just another ethnic group, a successful one at that. struggle when really you're just another ethnic group, a successful one at that. So Hassan Manash, who I don't know, so I can speak freely. I don't even have to do any caveats. I don't have to go, hey, man, you know, you know what you did. I could just say, I don't know you. I want to live in a world where I don't know. I think what's good for this podcast is if I don't talk to anyone ever again, so I could really just say whatever I want about whatever. But I don't know Hasan Minhaj.

From what I hear, he's a good guy. All frauds are great guys. You don't want to draw attention to yourself. That's what you call a con man. Nobody gets conned by someone who's being irritable and a dick because then you walk away. All frauds are the most awesome guys. They're seductive. And they tell wild stories because they don't have a personality. They're sociopaths.

There's no one there. They're Jason Bateman. They mirror you. They feel you out and they go like, I know what this guy likes to hear. And they sell themselves to you for their own self-aggrandizement. And they're entertaining and they're more interesting. I'll say this, who they pretend to be is more interesting than normal people. And that's why they do it. Because without those fraudulent made-up stories, they're ordinary and have nothing to say.

And that's why they do it. So, but hats off to them for turning, taking a pile of shit and turning it in. What's the expression? Taking lemon and making lemonade. That's what he's doing. Because otherwise he's just a handsome Indian guy who's got dictator energy. He performs comedy with his eyes wide open like a Mussolini speech.

But for the left, which means it's good. Which I think originally all those dictators were for the left also. They're like, we're here for the people. But they just added a little, you know, agoraphobia. Not agoraphobia. They added a little, what is it when you're scared of outsiders? I'm sorry. I boxed today.

I'm tired. What is that? When you're scared of outsiders. Not agoraphobia. He would know because he went to Harvard. What is it when you're scared of outsiders? You're phobic of? Xenophobia.

Xenophobia. Not agoraphobia. That's what my mother had she's sitting in her room what made me a comic because she was a borderline personality so i know them well and since i've really come to terms with the fact that my mother was a borderline personality and had a disorder because there's something that happened to her when she was little and she lived probably probably happened to her when she was little and she was traumatized that's how borderline personalities uh develop is they have a major trauma when they're young,

and then they become nightmares. And they're not curable. Sorry, Pete Davidson's going to Pete Davidson. It ain't changing. He's diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. So you just got to ride that wave. They hop from extremes. Boom, boom, boom.

They get very attached, and they tend to view the world through things are happening to me i'm a victim you know they're a nightmare but because of my mother i i i know i i now can really see these people well um not saying he's a borderline personality i would say he's more sociopathic he made up a story about his daughter who uses their own family, and it taught her. Now, here's the thing. The three stories or the ones that I remember, and I just stopped reading at that point because I went, okay, what more is there? Because whenever you catch someone in a whopper, were we talking about whoppers last week?

I think whoppers. I mean, we got the whoppers on this play, too. I mean, we're in the era of whopper. Were we talking about whoppers last week? I think whoppers. I mean, we got the whoppers on this play too. I mean, we're in the era of whoppers. The millennial generation is a post-truth generation who loves to make up a fantasy about themselves that they're this victim and then they're going to overcome the victimization by becoming a hero. and the process by which they're going to do that is by taking down imaginary bad guys and also conveniently with very little work there's very little work they don't go to school for eight years to become lawyers to take down some corporation that is dumping chemicals into the river no they get on their fucking profile and they tweet a

three paragraph tweet of something that they listen to on a podcast and they take you down and they become a hero or they make up a story about anthrax in the mail coming to their house isn't it great that the white supremacists are sending anthrax to the white house and assaymanage's home that that's quite the spectrum right there. No in-betweens. Now, the guy's well-known, but they're not, you know, he's not, let's talk, let's be honest. He's not, who's the South Asian guy who was in the superhero movies,

who's now jacked? I'm just drawing a blank. Oh, Kumar? He's not Kumar Nanjiani, you know? If anyone was going to get anthrax sent to their house, I think it would be Kumal Nanjiani. Because that's going to make some guys be like, whoa, whoa, you Indians can come here.

But don't you dare get more jacked than us. Steroids is our thing. That's an American thing. You Indians can't take our steroid culture. The kid is jacked now. He's got a nice jawline. He probably does jaws your size. our steroid culture.

The kid is jacked now. He's got a nice jawline. He probably does jaws or thighs. But apparently, Hassan says that anthrax was sent to his house and some got on his daughter.

Oh, my God. Even repeating it. As a father? He's going, some got on my daughter and I had to take her to a hospital. And then my wife

yelled at me, ha ha ha, here's the funny part. My wife yelled at me and said, hey, man, I don't care if you're an influencer or whatever, but you put our daughter in harm's way.

Let me see the part where he made up about what his wife said. And what did she say when he came home? Right here, look what she says. Later that night, his wife in a fury told him, well, this didn't happen. Right. But according to him, he goes, later that night, his wife in a fury told him that she was pregnant with their second child. Oh, my God.

You get to say whatever you want on stage, and we have to live with the consequences. I don't give a shit that Time magazine thinks you're an influencer. By the way, he's writing this, which shows humility. If you ever put my kids in danger again, I will leave you in a second. What did she say, like, for real? She was like, Hasan, this is getting crazy. Was it like Steve Renzisi's? Because, you know, Steve Renzisi's wife knew about it and just had to play along.

At one point, he had to just come home and just go like, we're in this now. We're in this. Well, he was on a hit show. Yeah, he's going like this. Listen, we're in this. I'm in a hit show. It's working now. If I was you, I would stop watching the ID channel.

Because if you say anything, I'm going to have to kill you. I'm going to have to kill you. You understand you're an accomplice to this now. They've been bullied into being accomplices to this crime. So Hasan Minaj was caught in all this because much like Steve Renzisi, he had a big moment, a special coming out. And in his special, he talks about all this stuff. As things have turned out, none of it is true. It hasn't happened. Even worse, some of it is actually based on people in his life that are real that he told complete lies about, which makes it even worse.

That's like going, I used to work with this, you know, I used to work with this, this is like 10 years from now, I'm going, I used to work with this you know i used to work with this this is like 10 years from now i'm going i used to work with this guy jesse the thing about jesse was he hated greeks and at one point he's spitting shit on my mom's dresser and i was like this is too much man this is too much so then you get calls from greeks going what the fuck man yeah you pissed and shit on a 90 and i'm going yeah man that was jesse dude it's my emotional truth which by the way emotional truth emotional truth now i'm not just gonna hang hassan out to dry i also want to hang the i would also like to put on the clothesline the media that is ever so gently using words like embellishment,

embellishing, or he embellished. Now there's a difference between an embellishment and what Hassan Minaj did. Embellishing is going, hey, Jesse, I took a dump before you got here. Dog. It was, it was, I got up and it touched the ceiling. That's embellishment. I did take a shit. It didn't touch the ceiling.

I was aiming for a laugh. I embellished a true story in order to make a laugh happen. When you, when I say, Jesse, I took a shit and I didn't, that is not an embellishment. An embellishment works on the premise that there is a true story there. That's why it's called an embellishment. You're embellishing something that did happen. Embellishment means enhancing, using hyperbole on something that happened. When you say something happened that didn't happen, that's what you call a lie.

It's not an embellishment, right? So he's calling them emotional truths. The medium is calling them embellishments. But they're lies. It's a lie. It didn't happen. None of it's true. He's admitted to it's none of it's true.

And he just said, these are my emotional truths. And he uh which was great he called his jokes arnold palmer's and he said there's 70 some at that point i was just like i was going at that point you tune out you go listen guy you got you got a beautiful face and nice hair so i'm not gonna look at you you know i recently had to tell someone off who had a lot of charisma, and I just did it without looking at them because they always trick you. Some guys got nice eyes. Some guys got good hair. And some guys just got those fucking fun personalities where you're like, I forgive you.

You're bullshit. You're just a fun fucking guy. You're a shameless whore, but you're a fun fucking guy. So sometimes you got to close your eyes and go, fuck you, you fraud. Stop seducing me with your good hair his fucking hair is so voluptuous i'm jealous and he's got such a hot face he looks like a bollywood actor did you see this part this is pretty bad oh i saw the whole thing you saw the whole thing i saw the whole thing what he did to his ex yeah so the ex again he used a real person

what happens I think Abraham Lincoln had a great quote and I attribute it to Abraham Lincoln he said no liar has a good enough memory no man has a good enough memory to be an effective liar

meaning like when you lie a lot you're eventually going to get caught because you have to remember all the lies you're going to forget no man has a good enough memory to be an effective liar. Meaning like when you lie a lot, you're eventually going to get caught because you have to remember all the lies. You're going to forget. You never forget things that really happen to you, but you will forget what you told which person and what. So eventually it just comes out. But the thing is, I think people who lie,

who have sociopathic tendencies like that, and that's what this is, right? I don't know what else to call it. I don't know. I'm no psychiatrist or whatever, but I think there's a rush from this. I think there's some sort of rush or some sort of addiction that happens.

And the whoppers just get bigger and bigger. I think it's like you build up a tolerance to the small whoppers don't do it for you anymore. So you start with like, I was at Jesse's house his wife's like where were you and he was fucking probably balls deep in some white liberal chick from one of his shows and he went home and told

his South Asian queen that he was at Jesse's house it starts there and then I think just ends with his daughter in the hospital having anthrax poisoning and accusing his high school girlfriend of hating Indians. And they just get bolder and bolder and bolder and bolder because when you don't get caught, you just think you start to feel like Superman, man. The human ego

is a, I speak to some of my successful friends. I'm successful, but you know, very successful friends. And sometimes some of the things that come out of the mouth, I'm successful, but you know, very successful friends. And sometimes some of the things that come out of the mouth, I just go, these people sometimes forget that they're human, that they're fungus on a rock. You know, things can get to your head. You know what I mean? They forget they're going to die. They forget they could die any moment. They forget that cancer could happen. They just say things and you're going like, whoa, you've, you've been, you're sniffing your own ass too much you're around too many people who are on the payroll who will do like you're losing

touch man just because you got a little money in your pocket or you're at the top of something means you're no different from anybody but and it's not even their fault it just kind of happens i think the same thing happens with whopper tellers. You just start to feel that you're invincible and you're behind this force field of morality. So you feel like nobody's going to look. And he's partly right because he is an Indian guy and he is yelling racism. So that's a great way to usher in crime, criminal behavior, slander that you can be sued for in a court of law. It's the same way when you say, ah, Black Lives Matter, stop police brutality. And then you go, that's a great cloak to usher in Maoism and go, we should get rid of private property and dismantle fucking everything.

And nobody can say anything because then you'd be criticizing racism. So it's a great way to hide. It's a great way to hide. It's a great way to hide. And that's what con men do. They hide behind suits. They hide behind morality. That's what wolf in sheep's clothing do. When a serial killer is about to kill you, he doesn't walk up and go,

hi, my name's Ted Bundy. I bite tits off. He walks up and goes, I'm a great guy. I got a broken arm. And then nipples missing. They gain your trust first. Wolf in sheep's clothing. Now, all he did was steal a couple stories.

But what are the consequences of stories like this? They induce a paranoia amongst a privileged millennial generation of South Asians and Muslims who think, look at what they're doing to our heroes. So now they walk through this country thinking that it's, you know, 1947 when it's not, evinced by the fact that they're the most successful ethnic group in the country. They just are. I don't remember the last time I went to a hospital and I didn't see, I mean, it's just Asian and South Asian dog and they deserve it. They work harder and they're succeeding. And in, and I mean, their CEO, I mean, they're all over Silicon Valley. They're in business everywhere. They are just crushing it.

And they're crushing it because this is the land of the free and the land of opportunity. It's the, it's not a perfect country, but ain't nobody stopping Indians. They fucking run motels. They took over the, they took over the bodegas.

That was a hostile takeover. Why do they even still call them bodegas? That was a hostile takeover. Why are they even still calling bodegas? They should be called booty boos. Like bodega is a Hispanic. It's a bodega. Now it's a booty boo. I'm going to the booty boo to get a Lucy. So his prom

date, as you probably, a lot of you know, and if you don't know, it's because Russell Brand got accused of rape and boy, did Hasan Minhaj and Pumpa fist. Yes! update as you probably a lot of you know and if you don't know it's because russell brand got accused of rape and boy did hassan minaj and pump a fist yes talk about the 9-11 to gary condon's murder do you remember gary condon when chandra levy went missing so gary condon i think was a congressman or something in 2001 and he was having an affair with a intern, Chandra Levy. Chandra Levy went missing. It was front page news everywhere.

There was all this speculation that he murdered her. Maybe he didn't. Who knows? There was a motive there for sure. And then 9-11 happened. And I mean, it disappeared forever. So this was Hasan Minhaj's 9-11 that he was thankful for. He woke up and went, yes!

He might have even planted this. This might have even been planted by Comedy Central, which is owned by Viacom, who has picked him for The Daily Show. And there's probably not a lot of other people on that list that they thought could do it. Because first of all, yeah, he's got the thing. He's got the charisma.

He's got it. So they're probably going, we already invested in him. Maybe they already got a contract going or whatever. So they're going, like, let's just fucking nail Russell Brand and get this out of the news. Because, I mean, this came like a tsunami. I mean, you were starting to see the Hasan Minhaj bubblings. were starting to see the Hasan Minhaj bubblings because the implications of this are you know you're you're you're manipulating people's perceptions of you're faking hate crimes essentially you're essentially faking here and people go oh you comedians embellish for jokes

all the time no they don't they do embellish for comedic effect if you want to call it embellishing okay embellishing isn't really in the comedy world it's more for you know uh telling a story at a bar we're creating punch lines all right when dave chappelle says there's a baby on the street going outside it's based on truth you walk around a bad neighborhood and when you see a seven-year-old without kids you're going i'm in a bad neighborhood so although you see a seven-year-old without kids, you're going, I'm in a bad neighborhood. So although it's preposterous to think there'd be a seventh-month-old baby alone on the street, what he did was embellish a truth. And that's what made it funny.

The truth is when you go to a neighborhood, and that's why people laugh, you go to a neighborhood and you just see an 11-year-old by himself out there at night. You're going, this is not a family values neighborhood. There's a lot of crime going on here because his parents are out doing blow or selling drugs or they're dead. And that's the hard truths behind the joke. So he heightens it, right?

You can use the word embellish, whatever for punchlines. Fine. And he says, it's a baby. And so it heightens it to give the laugh because he's trying to drive home the point about a 12-year-old by himself, a seven-year-old by himself. Because in good neighborhoods,

the parents are just all over going, well, come inside, come inside. There's MS-13 everywhere. Come inside, John. You know what I'm saying? So it's based in truth. It's rooted in truth. And then sure, you can use the word embellishment, or I could just say hyperbole for punchlines or punchlines. It's a punchline. It's the anatomy of a punchline. All punchlines by definition are hyperbole or heightened sarcasm. You know, they're all quote unquote embellished, right?

But embellished is more used for regular, you know, you embellish some details. It's like it has a negative connotation, right? It doesn't have a positive commentation. I embellished a few things. You go, oh, you didn't have to do that. Well, you know, I wanted to make sure we got away with it. So I embellished. So what I embellished, it doesn't have a positive connotation like he's trying to allege. Here's the deal. I have fallen in love with Factor. They sent me free stuff, the juices. I love the juices and the meals are delicious and you don't have to microwave them. I got this little toaster that I put them in because I don't think microwaving is the way I like the food to taste, but you can microwave them as well. But I put them in a toaster. I

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because I already got my freeze. I don't think they keep sending the freeze. Giannis50, code Giannis50 and you get 50% off. I'm in. That's code Giannis50 at factormeals.com

slash Giannis50 to get 50% off. I'm in. That's code Giannis50 at factormeals.com slash Giannis50 to get 50% off. Now, if you make up a whole story and it's funny, you didn't commit a crime, right? You made up a story, but you're a hack. You're a hack. You're a hack comic. You're a hack because what you've essentially done is just taken anything and made it. You know how easy it would be for anyone to just take any story and say anything and make it funny? There's no limits on what you can do. So, you know, if you're doing stand-up, I mean, obviously, if you make something up for a show that you're creating other characters, blah, blah, blah. But if you're talking about things that you're purporting that these things happen to you. So that's the context of it. And I go, hey, my dad used to cross-dress.

And then I create this whole story of a funny thing that happened to my dad cross-dressing. It's just all lies. Even if the people laugh, I'm a hack. We live in this world now where people really think the ends justify the means. And this is what's going to usher in the Christian Ayatollah. Because we're in a post-truth world. And little by little, you know, it's just where our ethics are slowly just being like, you know, encroached upon by lies. Little by little. George Santos, fucking Joe Biden lied, plagiarized papers. He said that he taught this class or this thing. He didn't teach

it. Everyone's fucking lying. It doesn't even end. Biden boasts teaching political theory at UPenn, but he never taught a single class at the Ivy League school. It's just all these liars are flourishing. Donald Trump is a fucking compulsive liar. Nancy Pelosi up there. I didn't say that we could do it without a vote. Yes, you did. You're a liar and a crook. So he said that his prom date, who was really his prom date, they say it wasn't his parents, her parents, and it wasn't a good fit. Basically, it was Indian racism, right? Why she dumped him. His friend's parents didn't want their daughter to take pictures with a good fit. Basically, it was Indian racism, right? Why she dumped him. His friend's parents didn't want their daughter

to take pictures with a brown boy. I mean, it's just making it sound, I mean, imagine being that real person and hearing that. I'd even, he goes, I'd eaten off their plates. I'd kissed their daughter. I didn't know that people could be bigoted even as though as they were smiling at you. Yeah, well, you know, you didn't know that

because it's far-fetched. It's far-fetched, guy. But the woman disputed certain facts. She told the reporter that she turned down Minaj, who was then a close friend in person days before the dance Minaj acknowledged that that was acknowledged that that was correct he tried a different tactic because he knew that like there's too much so he tried the Eminem tactic was like if I just admit it and say hey man come on and I just I just if I just mush this all in to

comedians embellishing punchlines, even though he's been on podcasts saying it, he's been in interviews saying it as if it's true. I listened to a little bit of Flagrant too, because I saw they were talking about it. And he told Akash when they were just hanging out this story. Oh, really? Yeah.

Yeah. He told Akash this story as if it was true. just hanging out this story. Oh really? Yeah. Yeah. He told a cash, this story as if it was true, just hanging out. So the guy's got issues. Uh, as a Brown kid in Davis, California,

he said, this is how he defended himself. He'd been conditioned to put his head down and just take it. And I did. That's not true. You fucking liar. I grew up in the most culturally diverse fucking neighborhood, maybe in the country, socioeconomically and otherwise.

I will show you a picture of my fucking preschool photo. It looks like the United Nations. I'm talking about Japanese, Korean, Hispanic, black. I mean, look, I actually posted my birthday party when I was six or seven on my fucking Instagram. Go take a peek. We grew up in Park Slope. We know what we're talking about. None of this shit happened. Racism was rare. Racism was like Italians on black kids. Racism was reserved pretty much for blacks. Nobody was going, don't play with that Indian kid down the road. It just didn't happen. You may get a couple of a poo comments. Grow up. I got a couple of fucking fucked in the ass Greek comments. Go up. Irish people get a couple of drunk comments. Grow up. Italians get a couple of sauce monkey comments. Grow up. But there wasn't fucking bands of kids chasing Indian

kids. I got discriminated against more than this fucking kid did. I got chased a lot of time because I was white. It's what happened. I was a target. You ever get chased by 40 fucking black kids? I have. Now I don't think they did it because I was white, but maybe a little bit. Especially during that time when there was a lot of racial tension with Crown Heights and it's just the truth of what happened.

And Italians were doing it to blacks. There was nobody going like, we got to stop this discrimination against Apu. We're going, oh man, there's this Indian kid in our school and he just can't catch a break. I mean, they're just hanging him.

They just call every day. They're going, get out of here, Gandhi. It didn't happen, dog. So you're lying and I know you're lying. As a brown kid in Davis, California, which I'm sure is a shithole, what does his dad do? He said he'd been conditioned to put his head down

and just take it, and I did. The emotional truth of the story he told, the emotional truth. I love it when you create a term that has the word truth in it, but also emotional. It's like almost seemingly a contradiction. Emotional truth.

It's so vague. I love it. So premeditated. He knew once that article was coming out, he was like, what are we going to call it? He might've had a brainstorm with whatever loyal minions he has. Right.

Whatever couple of year bosses. Every kid like this got a couple of year boss, couple of kids in a payroll who depend on work. Yeah, boss. Yeah, let's call it emotional truths, boss. Every kid like this got a couple of yeah, boss. A couple of kids in the payroll who depend on work. Yeah, boss. Yeah, let's call it emotional truths, boss. The emotional truth of the story he told on stage was resonant and justified. The fabrications of the details. Again, it's not a fabrication of details.

It's not a fabrication of details. That you're mitigating. It's a lie. The whole thing is not true. And it's a malicious lie based on someone who really exists, which makes it worse than just a made-up story, right? There are so many other kids who have had a similar sort of doorstep experience, he said. No, there aren't. No, there aren't. I'm sure, first of all, I'm sure there aren't. no there aren't i'm sure first of all i'm sure there aren't you know but if there are you know if i just if i say hey man i got that's like if i made up getting shot because people get shot i needed to have lied more in my career 100 i mean people who lie are getting away with murder

but you know it's time to put an end to this shit, especially in the comedy community. Like, comedians are so fucking scared to talk up or anything. We got to defend the art form to a certain extent, especially in this era where the internet has just made it so easy to copy someone's shit, throw it in a sketch, which is happy to me, look up videos, copy your shit.

We got to protect the hard work that goes into being genuine and trying to talk from at least a kernel of truth or a place of honesty. Imagine we just found out that Richard Pryor, who basically changed comedy into the authentic art form it is when you're doing personal standup, especially imagine finding out that he was just some privileged kid from Davis, California. And he wasn't, you know, the son of a prostitute, didn't live next to a crackhead. Imagine that. Would you feel a little cheated? Would you feel a little weird about it? Yeah, it would be a little weird. It would be inauthentic. It would be weird. I mean, what is the difference between this and Steve Renizzisi?

I mean, what is the difference between this and Steve Renizzisi? Steve Renizzisi was crucified. They took, that kid's career was sizzling. I mean, I'm talking, you know, million dollar Buffalo Wild Wings deal. The league, he had a big special coming up. That's where he got caught. You always get caught in the special. Then the reporter looks into the special.

Your publicist goes, you know, you should have just stuck to podcast, Minaj. See, these mainstream guys don't understand that these journalists are looking for gotchas. You know, I'm surprised because he's a Muslim that she even went there. And you could tell even when she was in the article, she's like, the article was more of like, hmm, is this wrong? Did you notice that? Hmm, is this wrong? And Whoopi Goldberg's out there fucking people. You're so disconnected, Whoopi Goldberg. OK, you should be going, who is this fucking kid? Why is he stealing my struggle?

He lied. I love the tone of the article. Hmm. Hmm. What do we think about this? What is this? It's so crazy, the world we live in. And then you read the Steve Renegeses. It's like, Hitler, kill him. Take his career away. What a nasty human being. Who could have done such a thing? Just make up a complete story? That's all he did was make up a story. Made himself a hero. Big deal.

People died there. Yeah, it was in poor taste, but at least he didn't ruin any girl's life. This is worse. At least he didn't use his family as fucking bait to make himself a hero. I have to rise above this victim. Look what they're trying to do to my daughter.

She grows up. Daddy, thank you. And he trying to do to my daughter. She grows up, daddy, thank you. And he has to lie to his daughter. You're welcome. And his wife's just going, what are we doing? He goes, shh, we have to keep this going. This is, the tones are totally different. Now, I don't want to say if this was a fairer skinned person who happened to have sort of a Protestant

background, you know, and happened to be male, that this tone would have been different. I'm not trying to suggest that. What I'm saying is, is that it would probably be different, is what I'm saying. Because what else am I supposed to think? Are you, what's your gut tell you? What's the difference between this and Steve Renzisi? I want, someone explain to me what the difference between this is. Steve Renz? I want someone to explain to me what the difference between this is. Steve Renizzisi told these people this story as if it happened to him. He told this story to people in his personal life,

on podcasts, in interviews, and on stage, that this happened to him, right? They're both massive lies that manipulate people's emotions and were used for self-aggrandizement, to self-aggrandize. I'll tell you the truth. This is closer to Jussie Smollett.

This is more of a Jussie Smollett situation. It's a fake hate crime. Nobody sent fucking power to your thing. This is Rachel Dolezal when she was sending threatening letters to herself in the P.O. box. And the guy goes, but only one person had that key. And she went,

she went, come on, y'all come on man shit remember that part was like yes you only had the key to the p.o box to open it she went she started twerking like come on y'all you know that's bullshit check out that twerk check out that twerk yeah i mean dude george santos i mean where and then we got this uh the ceo of doc co got caught fabricating his resume and he has resigned uh he's the new york city migrant contractor doc co after getting a no-bid contract from New York, has been forced to resign because, dude, journalists, this is your golden era, baby. Go to the most popular people. You're never going to find anything on me because I just don't lie. You know, I saw this one comment I just did. You know, I just happened to peruse real quick. I'm lying. I look at the comments all the time.

I just look, I was just on Sebastian Badascalco's podcast with Pete Correale, Pete Correale and Sebastian. And I saw this one comment about, because I told the story about the x-ray after I got shot. Oh, I love that story. And some kid goes, some kid goes, you can't see the flesh or something. Giannis is lying.

He goes, this makes me think of, he's making the whole thing up. And I'm going, I want to say wrong. That's what I wanted to say. Is that a beep? No, I'm just saying it's the wrong. All my shit's true, guy. Everything that's come out of my mouth is based on truth.

I am a comedian who embellishes or uses punchlines. I mean, what's this embellish shit? Embellishment means fucking lying. Doing punchlines in the context of comedy means doing punchlines. If you're fucking stealing somebody else's story or making shit up and claiming that it happened to you, you're a fucking fraud. You deserve nothing. You're cheating.

What is this shit? Oh man, it's just jokes. You're fucking lying to people, dude. Fine, you're not a criminal, but you're a fraud. None of it's true. These people are hearing these stories and you're saying them as if they're true. There's no wink.

There's no wink going, I'm just kidding. Like if I was making a joke going, hey man, when I got shot, it was because I was helicoptering over Darfur saving children. You know? But if I did that without the smile, I was helicoptering, yeah, no, that's true.

And my eyes get wide like a Samanash. Yeah, it's true. It's true, dog. That's what happened. Do people not understand context anymore? Why is everyone

like a robot, AI? Like, is anyone an adult? Does anyone know what good and bad is anymore? This is like negotiable. We're living in like a sleazy fucking criminal defense lawyer

reality it's like well it depends if the glove doesn't fit you must acquit what do you mean by murder that's an emotional truth what are you talking about you know what is going on we're electing kongman we're electing this woman was stroking a dick at a musical. And then we got another fucking woman with a crow magnum head talking about states just to see from the fucking union. And our president's 90 years old. And Hillary Clinton. What has fucking happened to us?

Jesus Christ. And we're angry at Winston Churchill because he used to work. What's worse? He did. He's actually, it's funny. I bring him up because he hated Indians. So, I mean, it's a, it's a valid critique on Winston Churchill. Wasn't a fan, but sorry.

So instead of Winston Churchill, I'll say Harry Truman, because he used to work... I don't think he needed to drop the bombs. But bigger picture, it did sort of show the world that this could be bad. I know I just lost control there for a second. But please help me.

What am I saying? Where can I, where can you find a loophole? Just devil's advocate me, defend him. You're his defense lawyer. Is there anything I'm saying that's not true? Am I coming down too harsh?

I mean, what is it? No, I don't think so. If I tell a story that happened to someone else, whether I know them or not. So he's now saying, he's going, this has happened to other people.

So he's essentially taking someone else's story and claiming it happened to him. So he's now saying, he's going, this has happened to other people. So he's essentially taking someone else's story and claiming it happened to him. So is that theft? Yes. But in the realm of entertainment and comedy, I mean, I think you can tell jokes

as long as they serve the comedic purposes. You know what I mean? Like not to date it too far, but like Rodney Dangerfield told all these jokes about not getting respect and all that stuff it was done just for comedy i'm sure he got plenty of respect you know you know what i mean it's right right right right right but it was based on some sort of truth he was like an ugly guy like i tell you it was based on he wasn't like a handsome like right yeah i tell you and it was the opposite of like the respect with the godfather age right and he was

kind of a schleppy guy it was his shtick so it was based on something that right was true that's my point it was based and that's what made it like got funny right it's true he's a schleppy guy he's old i tell you he's got these big eyes he's like he gets no respect he's self-deprecating it's probably how people reacted to him real life without the fame right whereas hasan minaj is a harvard educated beautiful man you know he's tall too you know he's got those big eyes he's got magical hair you've said this a lot now i think you're i was smitten with his hair now look i don't know i hear he's nice but like i said all frauds are great you know that's why i like a dick sometimes i'm gonna like this guy's honest yeah the guys you know who gets along with everybody you know what i mean you're not a real person you don't stand

for anything you don't you know there's no who are you you don't know who you are this was a manipulation this is manipulation this was manipulation it wasn't done for a joke it wasn't done for a comedy there's nothing funny about rushing your daughter to the hospital. Yeah, but he told it and then there was a punch time afterwards. I'm going further than you and going like, the jokes have to be based on at least some kernel of truth, whether that be personal, societal, something, right? If they're not, it's a lie.

It's just a lie. You know what I mean? If it happened to someone else and you claim it happened to you, it's a lie, even if it's funny. You know what I mean? Yeah. But sometimes, and then you're just talking about fiction. I mean, there's a whole genre. It's fiction. There's a different, there's a different thing, but in fiction, it's understood that it's fiction. That's my point. You're reading a fiction. It would be saying, this is a nonfiction book and then reading it and then you go why did you say

it was non-fiction then right you know what i mean with stand up 100 but also with books yeah if i write a book and i steal your experience and i call it a non-fiction it's how the content i'm portraying it is real if he and his interviews and talking to friends and his jokes said, at the end of the joke, he goes, that didn't happen to me. Then you save it. It didn't happen to me. But it happens to a lot of brown kids. Right. Then you just be like, all right, I laughed. Then you see how he would make it okay?

It's how you portray it. If I go up there and tell the whole story and then say that didn't happen to me, then I'm like, but if I go up there and say, let me tell you this thing that happened to me, you know, a friend of mine or my mother or something like that, and then you just leave it,

it's called a lie. It's a lie. That's my point. And a lie not done for comedy. A lie not done for comedy, but it doesn't even matter if it's being done for comedy if it's not based on some kernel of truth

and if it's not, that you're of truth that and if it's not that you're at least a winking at them letting them know that it's it's it's in that context of i'm joking so i'm willing to forgive a little bit as long as there's a joke involved you know i think that's where i'm a little bit more flexible than you yeah and i'm not not flexible about the embellishment of details, right? It's like... Like if you piece together a few stories, something that happened to you, something that happened to me, and you turned it into one big long joke. Yeah.

That's okay in my book. That's embellishing details. Right. Like you took a couple of experiences that maybe me and you had and combined them into one longer story that was funny you're not a comedian i'd steal your part and put it in mind yeah i mean it's it's stealing i'd still be stealing it yeah but you'd be okay with it i would be yeah but the but the anatomy of it is i'd be taking your part you're okay with it and you know it worked because you're not a

comic and you're like yeah whatever you're not a comic. And you're like, eh, whatever, you know, take it. Yeah, maybe the podcast will get bigger. You see what I'm saying? Like, there's always a little. Maybe we'll get Manscaped. Yeah, I mean, there's good and there's bad. And then there's gray area. So you're talking about a gray area, right?

And I totally agree with what you're saying. And yeah, maybe I'm being a little too stringent by saying it has to have a kernel of truth. I think there's got gotta be a wink. The context needs to be understood. I think, you know, you get off stage and someone asks you, you go, yeah, that didn't happen. You know, you don't wait for a reporter.

It's very convenient when he decided to let people know that it wasn't true is when the research was done. You know, and then he's like, ah, none of it's true. Would he have offered that? How come he didn't in the past? How come he told Akash the story, just them hanging out? Was it because it was funny? It's an interesting conversation,

but I don't think there's much up for debate. I see a lot of debate going on about this, and I'm like, I don't think it's, people all have a gut instinct about this. And when they watch the special now, knowing, it's not going to have the same effect. Not because he has less comedic talent. That's apparent.

It's because he doesn't have the thing that made him effective, which is like, I'm your hero. I'm the guy. I'm your martyr. I'm taking this. I'm spitting the truth. That's what he relied on because he doesn't have the natural funny.

You know, he's not naturally funny. He's more dictatorial. He's got a kind of a, which a lot of comedians have. You know, if you're going to lie to me, at least be a fucking charmer. Don't just yell at me. He's like, yell, said,

Republicans, Republicans, Republicans, Republicans. But hey, the truth comes out, right? One of my favorite movies, the most underrated movie I think that's ever been made is called True Colors with John Cusack and James Spader. It's an underrated, it's a perfect movie with an amazing script. The writer's name, I can't remember,

but he's written a lot of great shit. There's a line in that, there's a few bangers in that movie, True Colors. One of the bangers, I watched it again, I've seen it like a hundred times. One of the lines, and he goes, you may even win an election or two, but God help you when the people find out. And they always do. And then he throws his golf cart. This is when he's being kind of hardball blackmailed, the senator, by John Cusack's character. John Cusack was great in it.

James Spader was. It's an amazing movie. It's so underrated. I watched it again. It ends perfectly. It's incredible. It's so underrated. It was written by Kevin Wade.

And I remember looking him up at some point. He had written some dope shit. And it's this movie that's under the radar. Look, it even doesn't, it's got 44% of Rotten Tomatoes. That's bullshit. That's bullshit. All right. These people are not sophisticated. They don't understand how good of a fucking movie this is. And there's nothing cheesy about this movie either. It's perfectly done. And that was one of the lines from it. You may even win an election or two. Because this is when his son-in-law is sort of, it's been, the family knows that he has early onset Alzheimer's.

So he goes, you know, and he's ambitious and he's like, he's one of these guys. He's one of these guys. John Cusack's character. So he knows that he has this, but only the family knows. And he's ambitious. He wants to be elected to Congress, right?

So they're playing golf. And he goes, you know, I just, he goes, there's an empty seat in Congress. Someone's vacating, right? And he's a senator. And he goes, my time's now. I want to do it. And he goes, no, the guy's going, no, no, no.

I'm going to support this other guy. He goes, look, man, he's like, you know, family. I'm your husband. And he goes, no, you guys go, no, no, no, I'm going to support this other guy. He goes, look, man, he's like, you know, family, I'm your husband. He goes, you know, and, and when you retire and he goes, who says anything about retire? And he goes, I just assumed. So he hard balls him because he wants his support. He goes, you, he goes, how would that look? Not supporting your own son-in-law. He hard balls him. And so the guy, he's like, you may win an election or two, but God help you when the people find out. And they always do. There is some truth to that.

Sometimes it's after generations. Like everyone now knows Thomas Edison was partly a fraud. He stole a lot from Tesla. Cosby. Cosby. It always comes out. Eventually it comes out. Some people think, and if you're okay with that being your legacy, look, you may live your whole life and. It always comes out. Eventually it comes out. Some people think,

and if you're okay with that being your legacy, look, you may live your whole life and it doesn't come out, but eventually the truth will come out. You may get away with it, but you know, you won't get away with it when you get to the pearly gates.

Now, have I been harsh on him? I don't think so. I mean, because I feel like on him? I don't think so. I mean. Because I feel like people are watching this going, wow, like I did something. They did talk about it in the article, how comedians aren't quick to come out against other comedians.

Turn this on. I mean, I guess they're trying to imply that the comedians understand the struggle and, you know, it's hard out there. And that's exactly why I'm saying what I'm saying. Yeah. Do it the right way. This is, this is cheating, man. This is bullshit. You know, comedians who are good, try to tell stories that happen to them.

This whole embellished thing. It's just such a, it's, it's a distraction because it's not really an embellishment. You're writing punchlines. So of course, punchlines by their nature intrinsically are never dead on true. You know, I hate my wife. Do you really? It's like it's in the anatomy of what comedy and sarcasm is to embellish. So pointing out that you're embellishing is sort of a redundancy and also kind of being used to distract from the fact that this is fraud. You know what I mean?

It's like saying, you know, you rub sweat on the ball to throw a pitch, you know, a pitcher. It's like, that's part of the game. It's like, that's what, that's what they do, you know, or, or heating the ball up to, to scuff it up, to give it a little bit more. It's part of the game. You know, all these little things that we know are part of the game, throwing inside. It's like, that's what happens in baseball. You're listening to a joke. Jokes are not literal. Literal is rarely funny. Now you can't add comedy to comedy because I mean, what am I,

how can I make jokes about a lot of this stuff? And that's my joke. But even in that, that's an exaggeration. It's, it's, it's implied. It's understood. It does not need to be pointed out that punchlines are embellishments. By their nature, they must be in order to elicit a laugh. I can't say to you, I took a shit and man, did I feel relieved. I got to take a shit and go, oh God, when I came out, I felt like Jesus shot out of my asshole and the angels came out of my head and they lifted me up the toilet and brought me up. And you're going, wait a second, you're lying. You're lying. That didn't happen. You see what I'm saying? I mean, it's just, I can use, you can use any point to deliver that truth home.

It's implied. Okay. Like I said, now, if I didn't take a shit, I'm lying to you. It's harmless. It doesn't ruin someone's lives. Because this girl was getting threatened. She was getting harassed by people who found out that she was her date. Now, here's the good thing about it. None of it happened. And also, she married an Indian guy. So her and her racist family, who doesn't want her taking pictures with brown boys, decided she was going to have a brown boy in all her family photos for the rest of her life. Now, the third one is about some infiltration into his mosque that didn't happen, right?

Right. Now, I'm sure after 9-11 that that did happen. You know, so I think this is the one that's probably based on the most truth, but it probably did not happen often to many mosques. And I'm sure some of it was probably based on maybe some intelligence that there might be some activity going on there or whatnot. I know it happened in Brooklyn where the NYPD and intelligence thwarted a major plot. It happens, okay? Sometimes it's not discrimination. Sometimes it's accurate profiling. Welcome to the real world. I'm sorry to say Israel employs the tactic of profiling for terrorism at airports.

And I'm sorry to report it's very effective because guess what? A Swedish chick is probably not going to blow up the plane. What do you want me to do? What do you want me to do? An 84-year-old Greek American mom is probably not going to blow up the plane. What do you want me to do? I'm not employing this tactic. Israel does. Is it discrimination? Yeah, it is.

Yeah, it is. Does it work very well from what I hear it does what do you want me to do I'm just reporting what they do you can't get mad at me I'm just reporting what they do look at the world we live in now

I gotta like fucking children Minaj has alluded or concocted other details in his stories, often to place himself more squarely at the center of the action. I haven't talked about this publicly, Minaj says in the jester. Oh, I forgot about this one. This is a good one.

This is a good one. The Saudi crown prince was doing a public relations blitz meeting with Michael Bloomberg and Oprah, among others. And Minaj set up a meeting at the Saudi embassy in DC, Jesus Christ, to discuss the prospect of a sit down with him. Minaj's wife, he says, disapproved of his attempts to antagonize the Saudis. So he hid the visit from her. A theme of the special is her resistance to his desperate baiting comedy styling. He's such a hero, man.

The ball's on this guy. You know, he's just, you know, I'm telling you, he could have made these lies up and made himself sort of a scared, nervous, anxious, deprecating figure in them, but boy, did he make himself fucking Ayn Rand's Atlas-strugged hero. Is he not an objectivist hero in this? If you he make himself fucking Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged hero. Is he not an

objectivist hero in this? If you don't know who Ayn Rand is or objectivism, get smart. That was a really great joke. Did you enjoy Atlas Shrugged? You did, Connie. You read the whole thing. I read the whole thing. I like the... It's a little cartoonish now that you're older. Oh, yeah. It doesn't hold together. the architect what was the arc that was a better

one with uh oh uh fountainhead fountainhead that was just a good book it was a good read she's still brilliant yeah she was just a reactionary she grew up in communism so it was more of the time she was a little white and black um so on hellman's podcast, so not on stage podcast said that his comedy put my marriage through a lot with all his heroing. You know, I mean, this guy leaves Greenwich, Connecticut. He really puts himself in a lot of dangerous situations like my old friend near Rosa. Um, who knows? Maybe Hasan Minhaj's intelligence during the special Minhaj's intelligence. During the special, Minhaj describes the meeting at the Saudi embassy as vaguely hostile. The Saudis said they didn't want to be ridiculed by a comedian and that they'd be watching him. Minhaj took a train back to New York, where upon arrival, he recalls,

everybody at the office is texting me, are you okay? Are you all right i mean this guy's brave dog are you watching the news according to menage news had just broken about the murder of the journalist yeah of course what's his name again kashogi or whatever i can't pronounce it jamal kashogi inside the saudi consulate in istanbul thank god you didn't meet with the Saudis, his wife told him. Okay, what's the Jared? There was a Jared where he says that he watched Jared Kushner enter the room. According to the producer with knowledge of Minaj's schedule, Minaj's meeting at the Saudi Arabia happened at least a month before the murder. Something in email confirms. He said that he conflated the time, a story device to make it blah blah i lied to make it good okay that one is like a little i mean of course he's making himself the hero and it has no

truth to it but compared to the other stuff this is sort of a misdemeanor and it's still bad and it's still bad it's still bad but where's the one about where he made up about jared kushner i like because i remember that one um where he made up about Jared Kushner? Because I remember that one where he said, my comedy storytelling certainly did publicly criticize Kushner for the Trump administration. But what was the story? Right. There was supposed to be a seat saved for Khashoggi at some gala.

And he said that Jared Kushner walked in and sat in this reserved seat, like this ceremonial seat. That's what you call slander. Which is not true at all. Yeah, so you're saying he's like a dick and going like, fuck that guy. Yeah, he just walked in like, fuck this, fuck it. So Jared Kushner wasn't even at the event.

He might have been, but he didn't sit in the seat. No, I don't think he was even at the event, if I remember. Yeah, at the event. And he definitely didn't sit in the seat. He definitely didn't sit in the seat. Okay, that is slander. Right.

That's, you know, no matter which way, if you're pointing that off as truth, if you Right. That's, you know, no matter which way, if you're pointing that off as truth, if you don't say afterwards, you know, or you know if you go, you know if Jared Kushner would have walked in, he would have sat in that seat. That's different, right? That's a joke.

But if you're saying Jared Harvin, Jared Kushner walked in, and that's slander, dog. You're calling the guy an asshole. You're saying he was there. You're going, hey, man, you're lying. I wasn't there. I would never do that.

I didn't do that. Yeah, but you know what? It's emotionally true. It's emotionally true. That you would sit in the ceremonial seat. It doesn't matter who you really are. This is our view of you as a demon, whether you are or not.

I mean, the kid did get kind of rich from the Saudis. I mean, you know, there is a lot of noise. There's a lot of noise about Hunter B and 10% to the big guy. And after this, I just want to take a gander at what our good old friend Jared Kushner made from the Saudis right after this. But wow, we're spending a lot of time on this because we're in comedy and this is an extra long episode. We didn't even get to Russell Brand. We didn't get to any of this. You got to tune in on the Patreon. I'm going to do all this in the Patreon. We're going to talk about Russell Brand. We've got a lot of good stuff. What points didn't even get to russell brand we didn't get to any of this you got to tune in on the patreon i'm going to do all this in the patreon we're going to talk about russell brown we got a lot of good stuff what points didn't i make you made a lot of points i made a lot of

points i wish it was more succinct i wish it was more succinct it's free form it's succinct it's the medium look the guy didn't kill anyone he's probably a good guy uh what was that thing happening with your eye i don't know i'm just my emotional truth it's probably a good guy it's my emotional truth my emotional truth is i think that he is a genuine good guy if he came in here he'd charm the pants off us he charmed the pants off us his eyes would be big he'd be telling me about gun control and shit like that and i'd agree and i'd be like hey man when are you at radio city i'm ready um this has really been the era where sociopaths have flourished because marketing has usurped art it's just what it is marketing has usurped art and everyone's coca-cola And everyone's Coca-Cola now.

Everyone's creating a version of themselves that doesn't exist. And it's a sociopath's playground because everyone's just highlighting the good and not telling you about the bad. It's dishonest art. It happens in politics. It's happening in media.

We're seeing, I mean, these frauds pop up every, you get this teacher who's pretending to be native american you know and like you said it really is the millennial way we didn't grow up like this it's it's a generate it's a millennial thing this is their language and he's right in the sweet spot what is he 30 37 30 lie he's right in 30 the 30s we didn't grow up like this, man. It was like real. You were given credit for being real. And at some point that changed.

And all these people were rewarded by dingbats in the industry who couldn't tell you what was genuine or not or real what's not because they're talentless fucking hacks that aren't smart enough to become tech workers. He's 37 years old. All you need to know about the kid is he's not in tech and he's not a doctor. So there's something wrong with him.

When you're South Asian, you're not in tech, you're not a doctor, you know your parents are going, you better be a good liar. Whoopi Goldbergberg defense Hassan? I'm sure they got the same agent. Look, what are the consequences? I don't,

I don't know. I don't wish anything bad for the guy. I'm not, I'm going to pretend to care what happens. I don't wish anything bad for the guy. You know, he's had it. He's had it real hard.

You know, I don't know what it's like growing up. Um, what's his dad do as a handsome South Asian, tall kid who's smart and who has financial means. I don't know what that's like. I don't know. I don't know what it's like to be a Muslim. I want to pronounce it right. Muslim in America after 9-11. I'm sure that it was hard. Not too hard for most, but probably for a few. I don't know what it's like to grow up in Davis, California,

picking garbage out of the trash, being redlined, the descendants of American slaves. I don't know what that's like. But I do know that his parents came here for a reason. And it was probably because they had a chance to not be stifled in a caste system. His dad's an organic chemist. So his dad's a scientist. I don't know what that's like.

I'd like to have a conversation with his dad and be like, tell me about, tell me about all the, the scientists, you know, you know, that hateful group of people that uninclusive, that non-inclusive in 2023, that non unenlightened group of people, that racist group of people. They're always at the forefront. Dude, when you see January 6th, that front row was chemists, white chemists. I want to know what kind of discrimination he faced in this country as opposed to what it was like back home. Because the irony

is there's much more discrimination against Indians in India than there are in America. They have still a de facto caste system. I'm sorry I brought it up, Hari Kondabolu, because it's true. The black struggle has really been co-opted. You know?

Gays, everyone, are going like, ah. It's like, what, you guys said, hey, we were, and you're like, yeah, okay. Fucking, you know, I'm a Greek. We were enslaved for 400 years. So high five to the blacks. I get it. Why aren't you guys going shut the fuck up why are blacks going shut the fuck david chappelle does a little bit why did i call him david i made him i was like i was at his bar mitzvah david chappelle he did kind of say a little

bit of that when he was like in one of his specials he was like he was talking about trans he's like i'm black like you know it's true man that's a the government systematically oppressed and it trickled down you know um through society but it was like systematic codified slavery and then subsequent oppression these motherfuckers that showed up on the shores in the 70s and happen to have a little codified slavery and then subsequent oppression. These motherfuckers that showed up on the shores in the 70s and happened to have a little tint on their skin color, you guys are doing fine. And the evidence shows that you're doing fine. But that's not what I really think, okay? That's just an emotional truth that I borrowed from someone who would be a non-empathetic right winger. I am a bleeding heart fucking ally. And I say to Hassan,

I know you had it hard, man. And I know you're representing your people and how hard they have it. Especially after 9-11, dog. So to me, I overlook what you did, which is really what he's trying to do. Overlook what I did, because think about how bad what the bad people have done. Think about the nobility in what I was doing. And you want to go, you're right. I need you on that wall.

I need you on that wall. I need you on that wall. I do want you on that wall, Jack Nicholson. I hope you enjoyed that episode. It was my emotional truth. Don't take any of that seriously, okay? It was just joking. I don't mean any of it. It was my emotional truth.

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So give your copy, and we'll let you know. We'll see you next week. Dunzo, right? Dunzo. If you were him and you saw that, you'd hate me forever, right? Probably. Yeah. Probably. if you were him and you saw that you'd hate me forever right probably yeah probably i definitely wouldn't think you're an ally we're done right yeah we did that yeah