Yannis Pappas Hour - Mr. Panos & The Pig with Tim Dillon - LongDays with Yannis Pappas bonus

Episode Date: August 25, 2021

The great Tim Dillon sits down with the great Greek restaurant owner and philosopher Mr. Panos to talk the state of America, party clown comedy, mortgage brokering and fake business. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Down this poppers. Screwed in, got a lot to say. Ah, shit. This better be a long day. It's a long day. It's a long day coming. It's a long day. It's a long day coming. It's a long day. With the technology, we started the yorkie. He always gives me the thumbs up. And this is how we know we're starting.

Father to son. We're sitting here. We're passing the torch. He passed the torch to me. I get the torch. I give it to you. Because we invented the Olympics. And we know what the torch is.

I'm sitting here in front of the worst Alexander the Great in history. This was played by Colin Farrell. And he was horrible. He didn't even speak Greek. It was a horrible performance. But he was playing the most genius conqueror in history in the world history he's trying to bring the people together how you bring the people together through greek culture values philosophy he wasn't trying to kill the people like germans he was trying to convert the people to Greek culture.

And this is the reason we're having problems now. I'm a broken record because this is the problem. We don't have Greek values. So we try to fix this with this podcast. This is for the Greek people and for the non-Greek people who want to be Greek. We should be everybody. Speaking of people who's always around the Greek people, who lives with the Greek people, who is jealous of the Greek people, who admires the Greek people,

we have a famous... He's not so famous. Is he famous, Yorgi? Because Yorgi's booking these guests here. Yeah. I never heard of you. Yeah, well, we're working to get famous. Is he famous, Yorgi? Because Yorgi's booking these guests here. I've never heard of you. We're working to get famous. It's very tough. It's very tough to get famous.

But I'm spending a lot of time in Astoria, which is the epicenter of everything Greek in the world. So I feel if I stay there long enough, I will then, I will get famous by everybody there is Greek. And I see them

and they're out with their families and they're in very good shape. I'm not in good shape. They're in very good shape. They go to the gym a lot. Even the waiters, they spend a lot of time at the gym. They look perfect.

Even though, but they're still a waiter, but it doesn't matter. They look great. And that's what I want to be. So that's why I'm letting it rub off. You've been eating a lot of Greek pastries in the store. Yes, I do.

I go to Ammonia Bakery. It's a very good bakery. It's very good, yeah. They know you're coming. They say, here comes the big boy. Yes, they come. Get him. He needs a bag of cheesecake.

Yes, they come right out. They know me by name. So you was in The Sopranos. You played Tony Soprano. Yeah. That was you in this movie? It wasn't me, unfortunately. You look like Tony Soprano.

I know. I wish I had gotten that part. That was another great actor. He's sadly dead right now because he wasn't Greek. He was Italian. They die early. Well, he died before they could figure out that he had a sexual harassment charge. Yes.

This is the way you get out. Thank God. Now, if you want to stay safe from a sexual harassment, the safe way is to die first. You have to go. You have to go. It's very sad. You don't get a...

I mean, now everybody, every day, is a predator. Everybody's preying on everybody. Now, you have sexual harassment charges waiting for you. I don't have anything. I was aggressive in the line because there was a baklava cheesecake where there was one slice left and a very large Greek woman began to yell but I outsmarted her and and and as she was lost because a lot of the the rapping in these Greek places very shiny very metallic you listen yes you like a metallic bag.

Like a shiny, like a jewel. It looks like a Long Island 16-year-old Swiss 16. Yes, yes, yes. It's Swiss 16, bud. It might be a platter of cookies, but it's very bright. So that diverted her attention because the light refracted off the blag, and she kind of had like a stroke. So I kind of swooped in and got it. But no sexual harassment yet.

No sexual harassment. Not yet. Not yet. Not yet, who knows You have to get more famous I have to get famous Nobody cares what I do Yeah, if you get famous, they catch you They come and get you

So you do comedy? Yes, I do comedy You already get his comedian? Yes So we have another comedian Can we get some business people on the scene? Why we have a comedian? We just have somebody who has his own business

You know what it is We have a lot of free time You have a Yes a lot of free time I work for 15 minutes a night So you're a party clown Yes For about 15 minutes

I do a job And then for the rest of the day I just I sit and I worry about How it's going to go And what's going to happen You put the nose on You do the children parties

I don't do the nose And a lot of the people that go out are adults. The children don't really go out. Because people go and they drink. And they listen to somebody talk. So he's like Chris DiStefano. He's a party clown. Well, yeah.

But Chris is on television. He's much better looking. So you're not even on TV? I'm not really on TV. So why do we have him here, Yorgi? You have to stop watching. Yorgi, he's watching YouTube. But you know what it is?

It's YouTube. I'm on YouTube. But you know what, Mr. Panos? That's the next thing. Everything's going online right now. So you know what? TV. Like this podcast.

Like this podcast. So I'm like you. I'm going right to the people. Absolutely, baby. Yes. Right to the people. Now, you also, but the reason Yorgi's telling me, he says, he didn't tell me you was doing comedy.

He said you had, you had, you was working, you had a tour. Yes, I was giving tours of New York City. And we talk all about the rich people in New York City. Wow. The Rockefellers. You love the rich people. Love all the rich people. They run the world.

Yes, they run the world. You talking about the Jews? Yes, well, sometimes. Sometimes the Jews. Sometimes the wasps. Wasps. And every now and then an Aristotle Onassis, a Greek. A Greek with a ship. Of course, he married a, I mean, think, sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes the Jews. Sometimes the wasps. Wasps. And every now and then, Aristotle Onassis, a Greek. A Greek.

Yes. Of course, he married, I mean, think about this, you know, John F. Kennedy's wife, Jackie Kennedy, number one. Who does she marry? A Greek guy. Greek.

A shipping man. That's right. She goes Greek. She went Greek, and this is probably the best marriage she had. Yes, the best marriage she had. Because didn't she say,

you love three times, she said. She said something like that. Once you marry, first for the had. Yes, best marriage she had. Because didn't she say, you love three times, she said. She said something like that. Once you marry first for the money. Yes. Then for the love. Yes. And then for the companionship. Yes, and that was Aristotle.

Because he was old, baby. Yeah, but it was very nice. It was a very good companion when they were on his yacht. She was basically hired to take care of him when he was old. Yes. He married her. Yes. Because of the name, she's Jackie Ar was old. Yes. He married her. Yes. Because of the name, she's Jackie Ornos.

Yes, it's a big deal. She's like royalty here. She's like royalty. Even though she married Kennedy, who was fucking every woman in the house. Yes, but, you know, sometimes, you know, back then there was no sexual harassment charge. No, they didn't say nothing. No, you just did what you had to do, you know? John F. Kennedy, he used to have a hook on poor police in the White House.

Yes, he would bring in all kinds of women. He would sleep with his friends' wives. Wow. Yeah, he would take Demerol and all kinds of drugs. Really? Oh, yeah. You take drugs? No, I don't take any drugs, unfortunately.

But when you're out late, you're working in the nights. Yes, I work in the nights, but I don't do any drugs. Just cheesecake. Just cheesecake. The people in my business in the nights, but I don't... No drugs. I don't do any drugs. Just cheesecake. Just cheesecake. The people in my business who do drugs, it's no good. No good. You see them at the end.

It's very bad. Very bad. It's fun for a little while. But then it doesn't get fun. They get on stage and scare the audience. So you die alone in a hotel room.

Yeah, well, that happens whether you're on drugs or not. Either way. Either way. So why did you choose this career then? What were you doing before you was a comedian and a party guy? I was in the financial business in mortgages.

You was making money. I was trying to sell mortgages, but it was very hard because the whole economy had collapsed. Oh, so you used to steal people's money. Well, no, I would give them a loan that they didn't pay back. Oh, so you put it on the grandma. Yeah, well, I put it on whoever wanted the loan. But the best customer is the one who has dementia. When you

call up and she says, hello, you say, yes, my name is Steve Dillon. I'm calling from a basement in Long Island. Yes, yes, but here's the thing, Mr. Panos. Everyone in America has dementia because everybody forgets what they can afford or what they can't afford because everybody they just, they want, they have wants.

That's what America's about. So we give them loans. We give them $800,000 so they can't afford. Because everybody, they just, they want. They have wants. That's what America's about. So this is the... So we give them loans. We give them $800,000 so they can go build a nice room in their house so they can sit. And how you get the money back? They can't pay back the money. Then the government... The government pays it off.

The government takes it from China. So they take it from China, the taxpayers. From the taxpayers. And then they lend it to the banks. And then the banks go invest it in China. Oh, these Chinese people have the money. Yes. You see, we have an expert here from the financial field.

He's telling you the Chinese people are stealing the money. And they have tunnels under the ground. It's very possible, yes. It's very possible they have tunnels. They definitely have tunnels. And also, Chinese can turn invisible. Yes. They turn invisible.

Well, there are so many of them. And a lot of people say that there's not that many of them, but they're using a technology where you see more of them than they actually are. It's very interesting. They're reproducing with 3D technology. Yes. It's like a 3D printer. And also, they're saying there's so many Chinese. Yeah.

A lot of times, they say they're not Chinese. No, they say Japanese. They say Japanese? Right. They say, really? How come your face looks the same? Thai, Taiwanese, it's the same. Chinese people.

Yes, right. So they're stealing the money. So you're saying, this is very interesting here. Yeah. I know you're a party clown, but you have a very strong financial background. Yes, I know a little bit. So you think the combination of the United States, the reason why we're having so much crisis,

when we had the financial crisis, is because we had two things happening. You have the American people who's believing in the American dream. And they live beyond the means. They get the credit card. They want the money. They buy the Mercedes. Because they want to live like a rap video.

Yes, they want to go on a cruise. They want to live like a rapper. Yes. They want to go on a cruise. And then They want to go on a cruise. Yes. And then you have the salesperson, Tim Dillon. Yes. He's sitting there. He knows. He calls them. He calls them. He says, hey, listen. You know

you're going to get your commission either way. Right. So you sell it. Absolutely. It's not. It's whose fault is it? It's nobody's fault. Here's what it is. Here's what it is. It's the American system. That's what we do. It's America. Here's what it is. Here's what it is. It's the American system. That's what we do. It's America.

That's what we do. We don't look both ways. We just run across the street. So then how come now we have so many fat people in America? Well, because you know what? A lot of people right now, they have their phone, and they don't do anything other than look at their phone. And they sit in a chair.

Yeah. And when they take than look at their phone and they sit in a chair yeah and when they take a break from their phone they have one hand with their phone always and then the other hand is free to go greg get a muffin cheeseburger this is what you get a sandwich sandwich this is what having a restaurant the people want to know how the Greek people became so famous with the money. Because we knew. We came here and we saw, wow, look at these cows. They're walking around two feet. What do they want? They like to eat the cheeseburgers.

So we made the cheeseburgers. I just had a bacon cheeseburger for lunch. Phenomenal. This is the marketplace for eating food. It's the number one. Number one here, baby. Number one. Number one.

And the food does not even have to be good or fresh. No. No. The United States, the number one product is food. Yes. This is the biggest consumer of food. You make food, you sell it to the United States. Yes.

Just like if you're stealing the rhino horns from Africa, you send them to China. Right, right. This is what has the market stealing the rhino horns from Africa, you send them to China. Right, right. This is what has a market for the rhino horns. We have stores in America that sell five gallons of mayonnaise and ketchup, condiments in the size of a fish tank. Costco. Costco. Costco where you store up on food. Yes, all the food just in case something happens.

America's shop like this, the Holocaust is coming. Yes, and now some people are so fat that they drive a scooter. They have the scooter. They do not walk. I've seen these people. They do not walk. They just go on the scooter. They can't walk anymore.

They cannot. They circle people. Yes. They're big fat people. Yes. So you have this tour bus you're doing. Yes. So you're going to the rich neighborhoods.

We go to the rich neighborhoods. We tell everybody about all these people that you don't know about unless somebody tells you. You don't really know who these people are because they're very private. And all of the details of their lives are largely private. So you have to tell people. It's like you're telling secrets. So you take them through New York. How do you get the secrets?

You read. You study. You do research. So you've been studying these people? You study these people. How do they hide the money. What they do with the money. Well, they put it offshore.

Ah. They take it. They like to start companies in other countries. Ah. And sometimes those companies exist. And then sometimes those companies are like consulting companies. Now, this is very genius. Yes, it's pretty smart.

And then in America, they invest in tax-exempt securities. They put their money in things that don't get taxed. And they're very smart. So they have a whole department in the company to figure out how to steal money. Yes, because if you're a janitor, you get taxed at maybe 35%, 40%. But if you sell a stock or a piece of real estate that's at capital gains, you get taxed at 15%. And nobody wants to pay the stocks.

Right. So what these people do is they arrange it so that they pay as little as possible. On a capital gains or dividend tax, maybe they pay 15%, 12%. So they're smart. They're smart. They research. There's no way that anyone who wants to make money is against human nature. Right.

Once somebody makes money, he doesn't want to pay taxes. He wants to keep it. He wants to keep the money. Yes. So no matter what you do, it's not going to change. Even when these are people, the socialists, the people that have the beards and they live in Williamsburg and they have the podcast and they talk about fairness and Bernie Sanders. When they get money, they start to get very quiet. They turn real quick.

They turn very quick. To hide the money. Yes, they turn very quickly. So what's the solution? The solution. Everybody's tax the same? Maybe a flat tax. Flat tax.

Flat tax might be nice. Everybody 20%, no matter what. Let me ask you a question. Yeah. You have a brain here because I'm a genius. Yes. This is why we have a brain. I'm very happy to be here with a genius.

Absolutely. You know who I was. I didn't know who you were. Right. It's very true. Absolutely. That's very true. I'm a genius.

Yes. And I know when somebody has a brain. Yes. So how come you became a comedian? It's very true yes and i know somebody has a brain yes so how come you became a comedian it's very stupid because i like you must have a mental problem is there something wrong but i thought it would be nice if i could have a job where i could go on lots of planes and buses that was my that was my i was really got really excited about that so you wanted to go literally like jet blue yeah yeah so i like to travel a lot and i like to

get to airports and then get a stranger to come pick me up in a car and drive me to a comedy club very nice so you go and you're selling jokes while they're selling they're selling uh yeah coca-colas and it's yeah they sell cheaply they don't even have a real vodka. No, they have garbage vodka and then you have a chicken fingers or a quesadilla. You don't have very classy. You don't have spanakopita. You don't have moussaka. They don't have good. This would be

actually a good idea for a comedy club. Yes. A Greek comedy club. I agree with you. Where they have Greek food and cheesecake. For these big people. Yes. How come they don't do this thing? I don't know. They should have gyro. Absolutely. Yes.

And also the cheesecakes, the galatoburiko, the baklava. Yes. They don't even bring away the half a machine that drops in his mouth. Yes, yes, yes. Here's what happens. You think in the United States here, you think the people pretty soon is going to have a contraption, Yorgi, that they're going to an event where you press a button and the food comes and puts your mouth. Yeah, very soon.

And then chews for you. So you put your face in the machine. Yorgi, you put the face right in the machine like this. You go in the contraption here. Then you put cheeseburger. Yes. You want the cheeseburger or you want the dessert? Well, I got you. the contraption here, then you put cheeseburger. Yes. You want the cheeseburger or you want the dessert?

They put it in the soup for you. This is a very genius. It's a very good idea. You create the app. You make a billion dollars. You don't have to do comedy. Yes, that would be great. You don't have to do the comedy. I was on a cruise, Mr. Panos, and on the cruise they have a buffet. Very classy. Not so classy, but

they have a buffet open Very classy. Not so classy, but they have a buffet open 24 hours a day. For the people. Maybe you're hungry at 3 o'clock in the morning. You wake up and you're hungry. So you go to the buffet and you have a meatloaf or ice cream or onion rings.

A bowl of spaghetti. So the American people. Because you help me understand his psychology of American people. So they go to the cruise. Yes. And if they have one moment where they don't feel full, they feel a little space opening up. Yes. They need to feel it. They need to push something.

If they feel even a little air. This is a little pocket. A little pocket of air. They got to push something. They have to plug it. It's like a hole in the ship. It's like a hole. A hole in the ship that you have to plug with a meatball. They just have to plug it. It's like a hole in the ship. You have to plug with a meatball.

They just have to keep it full. So this is the point of the cruise, is what you're saying. Yes, you can eat all day. Who needs food 24 hours a day? A lot of the American people. So they're eating like cows. They eat all day. They graze. That's why the buffet, in order to get on the deck of the boat, you have to walk through the buffet.

Like you graze. So even to get outside, you have to walk through the buffet because the buffet is one whole floor. So they put the buffet like they do, like they put it in the Rite Aid. You know when you go to the drugstore and they have all the little things, the things on the line? Yes. So you know they put you on the line. So you get them. Maybe this is why they have the line in Rite Aid.

Yes. You ever go to the drugstore and you say, how come they don't have six registers open? Right. There's always a fucking line. There's always a line. And probably they keep the line. First of all, they pay less cash register people. Yes.

They pay less people. Yes. And then they keep you on the line so you buy a Milky Way. You buy little things. You buy the sneakers. Little chocolate. A lint chocolate. At the drugstore.

You need that. Breath mint. And then you give high blood pressure. Yes. And you walk right to the bar. And you get the Lipitor. And you get the blood pressure.

Yes. So it's all in-house. Lipitor, this is not even a drug name. This is a company. Lipitor is cholesterol. But it's a name. This is a company. Lipitor is cholesterol. But it's a company. Interesting.

Is it the actual drug? Yes. It's not called Lipitor. I think it is. But I could be wrong. He meant like the, what's the one for the penis? The penis. The Viagra.

Viagra. Yes. But then they also have another one. Celestra. Cel Celestra Something like that Cialis So these are two companies They made up the name But the drug is the same

Right? Right, so the drug is the same So this is America's love of advertising Yeah, we love to have different options But it's the same option So explain to me the advertising, because they pour the penis pills, they pour the blood pressure medication on the TV.

They say, go talk to the doctor about the drug. Right. Isn't the doctor supposed to tell me if I need the drug? Well, no, because you're supposed to go in, because we like to treat drugs in America like the buffet. You go in and you see a bunch of different, some are nice green color, some are blue,

some are yellow, and they have nice names like Cialis and Lipitor and Wellbutrin or Prozac. And some of them make you happy. Some of them make you less anxious. They make you, they dull you and you calm down. Some of them pep you up and give you energy. And then some of them calm you back down again. And some of them make you think about your life. And some of them make you think not about your life they make you just kind

of stare at the sun but all of these different drugs they're all made by different companies that a lot of them are just the same thing but we want to give people the illusion of choice that everything is being designed for them because i always go to the it's like netflix you go into netflix it says because you watched the Great British Bake Off, you may also like Mind of a Chef. They want to keep you full. They keep you full. So we're learning something here. Yes. America, they want

to keep you full. Yes. Drugs or food? Something. You gotta be putting something in there. Absolutely. In the brain too. Absolutely. Options here. Yes. Watching the show. Yes. Watching this. Yes. Now, they keep putting it in there. Yeah. Because when I go to the drugstore sometimes and seeing

they have the one the one has the brand name on it. Yes. Like Lamotrin. Right. I have a rash. Yes. So I put in Lamotrin. Yes. And the other one just says Clotrimotrizol. Right. One is 99 cents. The other one is $18otramotus Hall. Right.

One is $0.99. The other one is $18. And you read the ingredients. The same ingredients. Same ingredients. So you're paying for the name. You're paying for the name. People in America love the name.

They love Nike. We love illusions. Reebok. Yes. They love the name. It's good. It makes you feel good. You go get diaper rash.

You like Desitin. It's a good name. Like the U-Haul. Neutrogena is a good name. You refer to the U-Haul. Yes. You don It's a good name. Like the U-Haul. Neutrogena is a good name. You refer to the U-Haul. Yes. You don't refer to the truck. No, U-Haul. You say, I need the U-Haul.

Absolutely. If you pop a cut, you say, I need a Band-Aid. Yes. You think when it's successful, you think that this thing is called a Band-Aid. Yes. But it's a company. So that's what it is. It's all about brand names.

Brand names. Brand. You have to brand yourself. You have to brand yourself. So what's what it is. It's all about brand names. Brand names. Brand. You have to brand yourself. You have to brand yourself. So what's your brand, baby? I don't know. I think that part of it is that the audience doesn't know if I'm a clown or if I'm teaching a very cheap class at a community college. Nobody knows what to make of you.

Nobody knows what it is. Some people think it's a timeshare. I'm just to make of you. Nobody knows what it is. Some people think it's a timeshare. I'm just trying to sell apartments. You big boy. Yes. But you're not really that fat. If you were skinny, you would look weird if you were skinny.

I have the type of fat where it's very hard to feel bad for me. Yes. Because it's not the type, it's clearly my own making. Tony Soprano. I've done this. Yes, but you're not too huge. I've done this.

Not too big, no. You're not a circle. My work came back fine. I've done this. Yes, but you're not too huge. I've done this. Not too big, no. You're not a circle. All the blood work came back fine. It's all fine. So you keep eating. Skinny people, they drop dead every week. It's very sad. So you've got a strength here.

Yes. Because I'm a sensei. I go down 25 pounds, which is nice. And then I go, oh, this is nice. I have a shirt. His shirt fits. But then I go down to New Orleans. And in New Orleans, they have two cuisines, butter and sugar.

These are the two things. And then they put hot sauce in it to make your mouth because they serve you spiders that they found in the slugs. This is French. This is the French. Yeah, it's the French, right. They find the things when they dredge up the canal for Katrina. They find locusts. And then they toss it with butter and hot sauce.

And they give them to you. It's very tasty. So then I gain the weight back. It's no good. So you have many interesting things about you. Yes. So you're fat but you're skinny.

If you're here, if you're in New York City, people may say, I'm fat. I'm fat in New York City. You go to Uniontown, Pennsylvania. Yes, I'm a personal trainer.

You look like John Stamos. They think I run marathons. They're very impressed that I walk from the train station to the diner. It's very shocking. They go, there is a trolley. You don't have to walk. Really? I said, let me do it.

I might walk. It's nice. So you have many different things about you that's opposite here. Yes, I guess so And also, you told me that you suppose you're gay Yes, I'm a homosexual You're homosexual Is the clinical term

But you don't come, you don't walk around in a dress Yes, I don't walk around in a dress You look like you're selling me a car And we're going to drink a beer Yes, and it's very possible You want to go have a steak? Yes And then you say, yeah, I'm going to have a steak,

then I have to go fuck Bobby. But maybe I don't. But maybe I don't. Maybe I have not met. You drink Scots. Yes. And then you fucking Bobby. But maybe I haven't met

the right Greek woman. That might be my problem. No. That might be the issue. Let me tell you something here. We talk about this on The Last Pokers. Oh.

You're doing the right thing. Oh, you think so? Because now there's been no sexual harassment charges for you. That's a good point. This is, let me tell you quickly, because we talked about the last podcast. Yeah. The ancient Greeks, they figured out being gay is the way to be. Yes, it is the way, yes.

So you don't get any sexual harassment charges. Right. That's a good point. What turns people gay? They get married. Right. So the penis always wants to touch more women. Yes.

But if you're married, you're looking at which woman the most? Right. Your wife. Your wife. You don't want to fuck your wife. Right. So then the brain goes, I'm going to fuck the man. Right.

Genius. Right. This is why the ancient Greeks was... Very successful. Absolutely. Because you get sick of Helena of Troy. Absolutely. And you have to go after her. You're doing it right. You Because you get sick of Helena of Troy. Absolutely. And you have to go after her.

You're doing it right. You don't have to. Yeah, well, that's a good... For my career, it's very smart, because if you are now a heterosexual and white and a male, there's no career now. You're not allowed to do comedy. You have to go to jail.

So this is the courtship. They have to put you in jail now. This is the courtship? Yes, because you are responsible for the Civil War. They don't like white people. No, it's not interesting. Straight white people. Straight white people is no good. It's much more interesting if you're like a

Pakistani lesbian DJ. That's what the move is. That's a triple threat. Yes, they like that. And by the way, that person doesn't have anything interesting to say because you know what a Pakistani lesbian DJ really is? It's just someone who likes hats. It's just a straight guy.

That's right. It's the same thing. That's right. It's all the same thing. But... Huckab, let me ask you quickly. We have a couple minutes here. Very good.

Very smart. He's not stupid like Chris DiStefano. Thank you very much. He has a brain here. Yes. Two party clowns, very different people. Yes, yes. Very close.

You're almost Greek You have a Greek way about you I do This may be because you spend so many time with Greek people I do, I spend a lot of time with it You're hanging with Greeks Yes, we hang out I love the ammonia bakery

They know you They know me very well When you call me Yes And you live in a Greek neighborhood, it's very nice You have to come to the Baby Socrates Yes, I should go to the Have you been to the restaurant?

I've not been to Baby Socrates You have to come I go to Tacrates. Yes, I should go to the restaurant. I've not been to Baby Socrates. You have to come. I go to Taverna Cyclades. Cyclades. Cyclades. Very nice. Very nice. Very good restaurant.

I go have octopus with lemon and oregano. Very nice. The Pasari seafood restaurant is very nice. You know your Greek restaurants in Astoria, Queens. Yes, very nice. Now, those are Greeks if you want to get the Greek food. You come to Baby Socrates when you come from your comedy. Yeah. Four in theicks. Yes, very nice. Now those are Greeks if you want to get the Greek food. You come into Baby Socrates. Yes.

When you come from your comedy. Yeah. Four in the morning. Yes. After the Craigslist sex. Yes. After you had your first cheeseburger. You come to Baby Socrates, get the third cheeseburger.

At the night, and then you go to sleep. You sit down, you write the jokes, you pie the jokes. You're over 24 hours? 24 hours. What's the best thing on the menu? You come sit with the producers. You hang with a lot of producers.

Yes. Because producers, they don't have a job. They don't have any jobs. They don't have a job. They don't have jobs. They're free all the time. They don't have jobs.

They work at the diner. And they have no empathy so they abuse people so you don't have to. You don't have to. But they get things done. But if you want to, you have a friend, she says, people so you don't have to. You don't have to. But they get things done. But if you want to, you have a friend, she says, what are you doing? I'm a writing producer.

Yes, you pretend. Where's your office? Wherever we meet. Wherever we meet. Wherever we do it. Starbucks. It's Baby Socrates, 3 in the morning. This is a business meeting.

What is the best thing to get at Baby Socrates? What's the specialty? We have cheeseburgers, very nice. Yeah. We have anything you want, we have them. Wow. What you like? Fish? You like fish? I love everything. I love fish. We have, very nice. Yeah. We have anything you want, we have them. Wow. What you like? Fish?

You like fish? I love everything. I love fish. We have flounder. Yeah. We have anything you want, we have them. You have a nice platter. You want a green card, we have them.

Yeah. Is it nice? It comes with a salad, a soup? Cheese fries. Yeah. Everything comes with cheese fries. You want a deluxe, we make a cheese fries. So if you want, you say you want a misopanis, I want to have a spaghetti bolognese deluxe.

I put the cheese fries. That sounds great. You wantolognese deluxe. I'll put the cheese fries. You want a prostitue? Deluxe and put the cheese fries. Everything comes with the cheese fries. That sounds great. You have a big menu that's 30, 40 pages long? Absolutely. Everything you want, we cover.

Yes, nice pictures of Greece in there. Everything we cover. Absolutely. Good. So I had a question for you. What was the question before we got distracted? I don't know. What was I going to ask you?

I don't know. Oh, this is what I'm going to ask you. Yes. What is the question before we got distracted? I don't know. What was I going to ask you? I don't know. Oh. This is what I'm going to ask you. Yes. So how come in this country, then with Finns, then with Finns. Yeah. But you have to tell me here, Mr. Dillon. Yes.

Tim Dillon. Yes. Very good. This is a strong name. It's a strong name. Maybe it's- For Hollywood. Sounds like a congressman who is-

You can play like- Bezels. Yeah. If you act for us to be in the movies- Yes. You're going to be what? You're going to be the husband, the... I'll be the friend who makes a wisecrack.

There you go. That's it. But how come in America now, in Hollywood here, we have... Everyone is a victim. Everyone is saying like... I'm an Indian person. Yes.

And there's so much racism against Indian people. Right. And I have to talk about racism because it's hurting me so much. Yeah. And everyone's making the fake voices the Indian voice. Right. Like the new documentary about Apu on The Simpsons. The trouble with Apu.

Tell me about this documentary. A comedian is very angry that somebody did a funny voice to an Indian guy and made fun of that Indian guy, Apu, even though that Indian guy owned a business, which most people do not in America. And even though many people

make fun of people... Did he sound like he was the Indians? Yeah. They have an accent. They have an accent. If they're from India, they have an accent. And on that show... Like I have an accent. They have an accent. If they're from India, they have an accent. And on that show...

Like I have an accent. Yeah. I'm from Greece. And they made fun of everybody on that show. The star of the show was a fat, dumb American who was white named Homer. Right. They made fun of a Scottish guy. This is very offensive to the white people.

Yes. Well, it was a show that made fun of everybody. But there's certain groups of people now that go, you cannot make fun of me because I am a victim. Now what happened to the Indian people? They was enslaved here? No, no. They was discriminated? They came here and they did very well. Oh, they did well? Yes, they own businesses.

Because when you go to the hospital, they go to the hospital. It's mostly South Asian doctors. Yeah, people have done very well. They have a higher than average income than white people. Are you serious? Yes. So the Indian people is actually doing better than the people that is complaining, is holding them back.

Yes, they're very successful, which is interesting. Really? Because they all have businesses. But there's no money right now in funny. So there's no money in funny. But there is a little bit of money now in the idea that someone may have hurt your feelings at one time. At one time, we would call these people

losers. People that couldn't get over things in society. We'd call them losers. So you're saying if you're not really that funny, the best thing to do is to attack the people who is funny. Yes, get them out. So then the people say, oh, this is acceptable comedy. Yes, you have to throw them off the boat.

This is polite comedy. Yes, this is what we call a coup. Nobody gets hurt with this comedy. Yes, nobody's offended. And this also allows me to do my mediocre comedy. Yes, it's like a community college class. And now everyone has to see me. Yes.

Because they got rid of all the other comedy. All of the other funny people are gone. Now this is genius. Very genius. This is a is genius. Very genius. This is a nice hustle. Very smart. This would be nice in the basement of Long Island. Yes, it's very smart hustle.

This is like selling a mortgage to an old person. That's exactly what it is. Wow. The old person is America, and the mortgage is your shitty comedy. That's exactly what it is. But just like everything else, there's going to be a mortgage meltdown. Because there's only so much bullshit that somebody can swallow. And you know what happens when you do too much of that?

Here's what happens. People elect President Trump. That's what happens. That's what happens. That's the repercussions. Oh, that's the repercussions. That's the repercussions. Yes, they elect a reality star.

Guess why? He's funny. He's very funny. He's very funny. He's charismatic. Yes, he is funny. He's very funny. He's very funny. He's charismatic. Yes, he is funny. So when you deprive people of funny, they go and find funny. And they give funny nuclear weapons. That's no good.

They give funny nuclear weapons. That's it. You just got the title of the podcast, Jorge. They give funny nuclear weapons. That's what happens. So there's a bubble to funny. This is a bubble. And these people that are not taking advantage, this will burst and

people will say, you know what, this isn't funny. We want the old people back, the old clowns, the ones that offended us and the ones that were funny. Because that's why we're going to a comedy show. Yeah, that's why we're going to a comedy show. To hear things that you can't hear at the office. It's not our office. We don't want to sit in a human resources meeting.

Absolutely. And a lot of the people that do comedy now would have been very good at professor. They would have been very good working as a professor at the college. Right. Because they just want to talk to people. They don't want to make people laugh. Right. They just want to talk to people.

So now some comedians is also journalists. That's what it is. They're not comedians. Yes. So they're looking at the other comedy. They like to write about. So they say this comedy is not good comedy. No, no, no. That's what it is. They're not comedians. Yes. So they're looking at the other comedy. They like to write about... So they say, this comedy is not good comedy.

No, no, no. This is what they say. How come the people believe in this? Well, because people are very easily led. They're led. Yeah, people aren't really independent thinkers. Yeah. People like someone else to...

So as long as you're aggressive... Yeah. And here's the other thing. People don't want to feel like they're bad people. people yeah so if you make people feel like they're good people by retweeting something or going along if you say uh you don't like that you're racist they go no i'm not racist so they go okay well you like this this makes you not racist they go well i'm not racist i must like this people are the sheep so, so basically these people. Yeah.

Like let's take, for example, black people. Sure. Black people, they had a problem here. Right. They actually had a problem. Absolutely. So they have a right to be, to feel sensitive. Yes.

Because there's a history here. Absolutely. So now we live in a culture. Yes. So you're saying to me that if somebody does a comedy. Yes. And he says a joke about black people and the black people, they think it's funny, then they're laughing. They're not offended.

But if somebody writes about why the black people should be offended, then it makes it the joke that the black people's laughing are offensive. Yes, it makes it the joke that the black people is laughing at offensive so basically now we live in a time where people think you need to instruct instruct people who is discriminated against what is offensive they know you don't have to tell them

they know, they have a feel for it so how many people is thinking Apu is offensive when did this problem with Apu's offensive? Yes. We invent... When did this problem with Apu from The Sims? I've never seen the show. Yeah.

I guess it's a character that somebody didn't like and, you know, we're inventing classes of people to be victims. We're inventing victims So what's wrong with the character?

He speaks with the Indian accent? Yes. He doesn't like... It was a white guy who did the Indian accent. Oh, this guy does a lot of voices. Yes, he does a lot of voices.

And he did the Indian voice, and people did not like that. So he should only be able to do the voices of white people. That's apparently the surmise. So there's rules here. So the culture. There are rules. So you shouldn't touch each other's culture. Yes.

Or talk about each other. We shouldn't borrow from each other's culture. No. We should all retreat and segregate ourselves. That seems to be... So everyone stays apart to bring everybody together. Yes, everybody stays apart and judges each other to bring everybody together. Seniors!

Very interesting. Very interesting. And all of these people, by the way, that are so angry about the discrimination are all very wealthy. And their careers are very good. They make a lot of money being angry. So you almost wonder, if everybody got along, and there was nothing to be angry about, how would they make all of this money?

They wouldn't. It's not me being funny. No. Right. They need things to be this way so they can have a money. It almost makes you think they have a vested interest in keeping things. They're not funny like Jim Carrey. No.

They don't have any comedic talent. No, it's almost like they really, I bet some of them went in that voting booth and voted for Trump. Right. Secretly. Well, because that's their life force. They made their money this way. That's their life force. If you take him away and you put Hillary Clinton in office.

Then nobody's watching the show. No, they evaporate. They don't have any reason. They have nothing to do. They have no commitment. They go work at Baby Socrates. Wow. And they bring a mozzarella stick to the people.

So the Indian people. Yes. Who's from India. Yes. Who talks like a pool. Yes. Should they not speak English? Because aren't they taking the British culture?

Right. Greek culture. Right. Don't all cultures evolve from touching each other? Yes, I agree. I think all cultures borrow from each other, and that's how people kind of get along. But there are people now that believe that that shouldn't happen. Right.

Yeah. You shouldn't make fun of nothing unless everyone's happy about it. Right, just you make fun of, you know, Trump. That's all you can make fun of, just make fun of Trump. Trump, that's it. It's very funny. You make a sketch about, you imitate Trump. Right now in America, we're a country of 350 million people.

Right now, 80 million of them are imitating Trump. 350 American people. That's right. Which equals 380 million people. Right, that's true. There's a lot of weight here. In entertainment right now, 92% of entertainers right now are imitating Donald Trump. That's it. That is their act.

So it's okay to, he's the only person, it's okay to imitate. He's it. Because by imitating Donald Trump, you're really helping the poor and the downtrodden. And you're also helping him get reelected. Yes, oh, he's going to get reelected. Genius. He may be elected for the rest of our lives. Which is subconsciously what you may want.

Oh, yeah. To keep your business going, baby. Listen, who cares about the country if you can make a few bucks on true TV? So here we are. We're on the podcast. We had a very, very... He's not so funny. No.

He has a lot of interesting things to say. And that's why I'm going to maybe make it a comedy. Because it's not so funny. You might make it in this culture. That might be it. Absolutely. Because we're not looking for funny. Keep the gay thing.

We just want a cult. Keep some victim group. Yes, I promise. Because if you're just a white man right now. It's no good. You're a very bad person. Yes, I know. So good luck with you with the.

Thank you so much, Mr. Panos. The taxi driver, the taxi tourist. The tour bus. Yes, thank you. I appreciate it. You're taking the tourists around. Yes, thank you. It's a very good job. Yes. So you can see Dillon. He's Tim D bus. Yes, thank you. I appreciate it. You're taking the tourists around. Yes, thank you. It's a very good job.

Yes. So you can see Dillon. He's Tim Dillon. You can catch him. TimDillonComedy.com. Sign up and we'll email you when those tickets go on sale. Yeah, or if you could catch him 40 seconds to be standing with a clipboard. Yeah.

Get you on the bus. You can also go to his website. TimDillonComedy.com and sign up. He also has a podcast. Yes, Tim Dillon is going.com and sign up. He also has a podcast. Yes, Tim Dillon is going to hell right here at Gas Digital. Now, he's one of the most

interesting people talking comedy. Oh, that's very nice of you. So, go watch his show. Go have a cheeseburger with him. If you're a man and you like to be with men, stay after the show, baby.

You might get lucky. That's right. He might take you and then get the cheeseburger with you. If you like cheeseburgers and you like to suck a penis, you may get the two things in one night, baby.

So we see you next time. Till then, stay Greek. Listen to the podcast. Tell your friends. And keep the brand, Junius. We see you next time, baby.