Yannis Pappas Hour - No Water in The Pool

Episode Date: November 13, 2021

How could you ignore the Kyle Rittenhouse trial right now. Just a good ole American kid out for a stroll? A moral vigilante protecting Buffalo Wild Wings and such? Or, a white supremacist who worships at the alter of the KKK? We get to the bottom of it on this objective news program. Paul Rudd drinking baby blood? Is that what makes him People’s Sexist Man of The Year? Tune in! No follow up questions for Aaron Rodgers? I say it’s a failure of sports journalism. Tune in. Travis Scott or Live nation or Satan, who is to blame?! Marjorie Taylor Greene’s forbidden love affair with Luis Farrakhan, Wasdadealis! And finally, Queen Kamala Harris wants trees categorized by race, NASA get to werk! It’s LongDays and you know was da deal is. LongDays merch & Tour dates https://www.yannispappascomedy.comBonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysOur Sponsors Canva Pro https://www.canva.com/affiliates/FUMES/?utm_source=podcast&utm_campaign=v1&utm_medium=LongDays%20with%20Yannis%20Pappas&_branch_referrer=H4sIAAAAAAAAA8soKSkottLXT07MK0vUy03VT9VPK81NLQYAVQ%2F%2BbBgAAAA%3D&$web_only=true&_branch_match_id=988148447872986947Ship Stationhttps://www.shipstation.comPromo code: FUMESBox Of Awesome https://www.bespokepost.com/startPromo code: FUMESLongDays is now officially going twice a week. Every Saturday & Thursday night. One weekly solo pod & a chat pod on Thursdays. Enjoy you hyenas! The show goes out every Saturday night & Thursday to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram on Wednesdays. Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Good evening, everybody. This is your weekly recap of news with the last journalist left in the country. Giannis Pappas. That is my name. And Wastadillas is my game. What a week in America, red, white, and blue. I'm talking to my coastal elites up in that bubble. Shout out, y'all. Shout out, y'all. I'm also talking to my Rust Belt Americans. Shout out, y'all. Football season's here, so I take it you're a little happier with your Bud

Limes and coastal elites. Restaurants are back open! Sushi's available! Oh my God, wait, what? Are we getting sake? Everyone is getting back to normal. The borders are opening. International travel's coming. Hopefully this floods the stores and demand goes even farther up

as we shoot back into the regular world and the supply chain cannot keep up with our demand. Let me tell you something. We are a fat kid who's been making weight. We've been trying to cut weight to get in shape for a heavyweight match. That's what COVID's been. Now the fight is over. And what

do you think? A fighter like us. We're the Gypsy King. Okay. We're Tyson Fury. The fight's over. What do we want to do now? Give me a hundred cheeseburgers. I want to get new furniture. I need a new house. People are buying. Mortgage rates are down. Everyone's getting loans. It's a fucking party. And it is going to precipitate a nice little fucking bang, baby. Hit the cement. There's no water in the pool. Dive in, but there's no water in the pool. Inflation's at an all-time high, uh-oh, uh-oh, Joey B.E., approval ratings in the 30s, what are you, a fucking Yanni middle school math test, um, gas is almost at four dollars, Travis Scott, is he responsible for the deaths of the people in his audience, or is Houston responsible for being in Texas and Texas is responsible because Texas

loves to kill people. It's what they do. Kamala. Kamala. Kamala. Kamala. Kamala. Kamala. Kamala. Kamala Harris asked NASA if they could possibly from space figure

out how many trees are in each neighborhood by race so we can get environmental justice. I don't know what that means. I really suspect you don't know what that means. Most of all, I know she doesn't know what that means, but there's an article written about it. We will talk about it china is building mock-ups of u.s navy ships so they can practice with missiles holy shit baby it's long days I don't even know why we did our recap at the beginning and did not mention the main story that is taking over our objective news media. We are living in an era where we have the best objective news. It is not editorialized. This podcast is not a spoof on modern media. This is a comedy show that pays reverence to the

objective principled media that only wants to give us the real story in an effort to inform and enlighten us. That is their only purpose. They're not selling ads like long days. They're not brought to you by bespoke post. They're just honest journalists looking to inform and enlighten the body politic. And that's why the story that they've been focused on most right now is good old Kyle Rittenhouse. Haven't heard that name in a while. Talk about an American celebrity.

Thank you, Kyle Rittenhouse, for feeding our true crime genre thirst. As I mentioned last episode, you have to tip your hat to whoever makes the sacrifice for our entertainment and also makes the sacrifice for fodder, for news fodder. And Dave Chappelle's comedy special,

I think, has run its course. So now, you can't really find any news that isn't Kyle Rittenhouse. I'll sum up Kyle Rittenhouse's case in a few words. White American kid with an AR-47. Just a regular Joe. Outside of any coastal town that's just a regular Joe. Out for a stroll. Outside of any coastal town that's just a regular Joe. Out for a stroll. Big deal. I'm his lawyer right now.

Let's talk. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Kyle's a good kid. Just like your kid. He likes to play Call of Duty. He loves to binge Netflix shows. He loves to order Domino's late at night and dip the crust in ranch dressing he likes to pop a few trulies with his friends while his parents are asleep upstairs

and he finger pops a girl in the basement he likes to smoke a little weed and get philosophical with his friends and watch sports he also likes to carry and walk around with an AR-47 during riots and protests. Just like your boy. Just like my boy. He likes to put on gloves and go down to the local protest and riot with an AR-47.

For fun. He's a kid. He's a kid. He's an American red-blooded boy trying to meet girls. What boy in your family, I'm talking to the American people, family, I'm talking to the American people, which one of you has a young hormone riddled teenager at home who didn't go down to one of the riots to try to meet chicks, who didn't carry an AR-47 in order to start a good conversation with a nice young lady he met. Teenage boys will do what teenage boys do. They play soccer, they play basketball, they play video games, and they shoot protesters with skateboards, just like your son and mine. the prosecution will allege that my client, a boy, went down to the protests in order to viciously intimidate protesters who were protesting for just causes. I don't remember what they were.

Nobody does. We've all blacked it out. It was a horrible summer. We've blacked it out like a child who's been molested by a Catholic priest. I don't remember unless I'm hypnotized. Like you. They'll try to paint him as an evil, Trump-supporting, right-wing Nazi who came down to this protest to kill.

I offer you the truth. Kyle Rittenhouse is from the future. He was sent by Gabby Petito's family in the future where time travel becomes possible. He was sent to go back and find Brian Laundrie and murder him before he got a chance to take their sweet Gabby Petito. The problem is, Kyle Rittenhouse is bad with direction. He got lost on his way to the closest national park. He got sidetracked.

He saw a protest and he wanted to know if it was a sports team that had won a championship and he wanted to celebrate with them. Little did he know it was a Black Lives Matter protest and he got attacked by a white kid with a skateboard. And you know what they say, members of the jury, never bring a skateboard to an AK-47 fight. Is it his fault

that this tragic victim decided to bring a skateboard to an assault weapon fight? Not his fault. Just a boy defending himself against confused attackers who didn't know he was from the future trying to hunt down Brian Laundrie before Dog the Bounty Hunter got him. I rest my case. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do what you think is best, but you all know we all have a child who walks around in American flag Crocs and carries an AK-47 and gets lost. Who doesn't have a son who's come from the future to rescue someone who's been murdered by a boyfriend

we all have the kid's getting off the kid's getting off he was attacked right some kid tried to hit him with a skateboard another kid had a gun what did he shoot three protesters okay were any of the protesters that he shot white women jesse the answer is no. So the public interest in this case, I would gauge, is about a zero. No matter how much the media tries to put on this, I don't think anyone gives a shit about Kyle Rittenhouse. But it's a nice try by the media to try to protect us from some hearther truths that are going on right now. Kyle Rittenhouse is dominating the headlines midweek right now, but let me tell you why. The reason is they're trying to hide the real miscarriage of justice

that is happening in this country, and that is that Paul Rudd has been named the sexiest man alive by People Magazine. I will not stand for this disinformation, okay? They're out there chasing every Tom, Dick, and Harry that's trying to push ivermectin on you. Ivermectin cures COVID.

If you can get your hands on the horse paste, better. Okay? Stop it. This is the disinformation we should be focused on. Prove to me that ivermectin doesn't help cure COVID. If I take ivermectin and I recover, it doesn't matter what else I did.

I use ivermectin. I put ivermectin on my fucking smoothie, buddy. I'll sprinkle it in my fucking smoothie. You can't prove it. But what you can prove is that fucking Paul Rudd, who's a squeak. I mean, movie stars usually to be able to fit into those movie screens average about four, five, four, five, five. Sylvester Stallone, Tom Cruise,

Ben Stiller, Paul Rudd. These are all small kids. There's a reason why Kevin Nealon didn't have a fucking huge career. It's because the kid's too small. He can't fit in a screen. They like their actors small. So then when they're, you know,

it's all for camera angles. You don't want to have fucking The Rock and then next to Rachel Dratch because she's so short. I don't know why my mind is bringing me to former SNL cast members, but that's just

what happens sometimes when you want to think about the glory days. You go back in time when things were good. Paul Rudd. Now, I don't dispute the fact that he still looks young okay he looks young but as we

know that is because of the adrenochrome that he has a steady supply of he does look young when you see Paul Rudd you're like why does he still look the same exact age? And then you look at, I mean, look at how he's held up. But to call him one of the sexiest men on the planet, who are we bypassing? First of all, we're bypassing Denzel, Brad Pitt, Ryan Reynolds, who women love, Leonardo DiCaprio, George Clooney. Who else?

God, I wish I just had a gay correspondent right now who could be like, just fucking ring them out, like a hundred of them. But this will not stand. This will not stand. This will not stand. And I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Josh Gad. I don't even know who that is.

Okay. Greg Gutfield. Anderson Cooper. Dan Soder. Andrew Schultz. He's sexier than Andrew Schultz he's sexier than Andrew Schultz are you fucking kidding me are you fucking kidding me dog

you go see Andrew Schultz there's a good chance you're gonna fucking get a t-shirt shot at you through a t-shirt gun Bradley Beal what was his name Bradley Cooper Bradley Cooper these Bradley Cooper. These are the previous winners of

The Sexiest Man. Ben Affleck, the kid who played the fucking superhero, who super woke on Twitter. What's his name? That kid over there. Superhero one, with the beard. Keep going. Down to the bottom. Now go to the right. Go to the right. Go right. Go to the right. Boom. the right. Go right. Go to the right.

Boom. You were just on it. Go to the right. Right there. No, you were just on it. Yeah, this guy. You were just on it. That guy. Where are you going? No, not that guy. Down one. That white guy. Chris Evans. I mean, if you follow his Twitter, you would think he's AOC's

campaign manager. And the kid was in a fucking Marvel movie that sells to China. But he is a handsome fucking drop of water. Chris Evans. So we're passing up Chris Evans to give it to Paul Rudd? Paul Rudd is not the sexiest man alive unless you want to have an anxiety-ridden sex escapade with him where he goes, can we turn off the lights, please?

And then he tries to ease a small dick on you with lots of pre-making-out conversation. You know? Women don't like that. Show me one woman who thinks that Paul Rudd is the sexiest man alive. This is why people don't trust the media. Okay. It's not because they have conflicting, uh, advice on what you should do with your mask. It's because Paul Rudd has been deemed the sexiest man alive. Who the fuck is deciding that other than whatever public relations rep he paid to pay people magazine

to put it in because let me guess he's got a fucking movie coming out and let me guess it's gonna be a high budget movie i don don't know anything. You're watching this live. You're watching this live. We're Googling it to see if my instincts are correct on why Paul Rudd beat out Chris Evans as the sexiest man alive. I would go gay for pay with Chris Evans in a second. Paul Rudd, dude, who would go gay for Paul Rudd? I don't even want to have a cup of coffee with Paul Rudd. He's uninteresting. He's slightly funny.

And he's short. Oh, look at this. Paul Rudd has a movie coming out, Ghostbusters Afterlife. Isn't that a redundancy? Aren't the ghosts already fucking dead? I mean, when are we going to hire some of these QAnon guys to write an original script for these studio heads so they don't have to keep remaking all these movies that already have three or four in their franchise?

Why are we watching another Ghostbusters movie? Dan Aykroyd is a full-time alien researcher. It's over. It's over. The black guy who was in that movie who nobody knows who he was, who I haven't seen him in a movie since, he's 90, dog.

He's in an old folks home. The Ghostbusters are over. Didn't we do a female Ghostbusters recently? Okay. Why the fuck is Paul Rudd starring in another Ghostbusters when there are trans actresses who are waiting for Ghostbusters with an asterisk on it. Ghostbuster women.

We want to see female Ghostbusters starring Rachel Levine. Women with Adam Zappos. I mean, how are they giving another... They made another Ghostbuster and they decided to make him another white guy Ghostbuster? Bullshit. Bullshit.

I want to see trans Ghostbusters. Can you imagine if you were haunted by a trans ghost? You could have played Slimer. Yeah, Rachel Levine could have definitely played Slimer with that hairdo it would have saved a lot of the budget on special effects I'm sorry I'm gonna notice I'm gonna notice I'm gonna notice I'm gonna notice I'm gonna notice I'm gonna notice so Paul Rudd leading man in another Ghostbuster movie coming up um I don't know what's going to, it's

called Ghostbuster Afterlife. I thought the ghosts were already dead, but apparently they're dead twice. Ghostbusters Afterlife is what it's called. I mean, so I am correct. He was named sexiest man in the universe by Marvel Studios to promote his movie. What does it say on the cover? Hold on. Yeah. Oh, a marvel of a man. You're welcome.

Oh, what a pun. Who thought of that pun? Do you think if you're a journalist at People Magazine, it's almost like being a stand-up comedian on a cruise ship? Like you want to jump off every day? Like you just want to put a gun to your head and say, I went to Columbia Journalism School. I wanted to get to the bottom of investigating

some of the financial discrepancies in corporations. But instead they're going, hey, we got Marvel on the horn. We got Marvel on the horn. We want to go with a cover story. How's this line for a pun a marvel of a man he's got a marvel movie coming up he's a marvel of a man you're welcome and here he is just posing he looks pretty good when they airbrush his ass right but uh he does still look young for how how old is Paul Rudd at this point? I want you to give me his,

I want you to give me his age, and then I want to, I just for fun want to know his height. I want to know his height. I can't drink coffee anymore, says Hannah Gatsby as straight Yanni, and Yanni as Hannah Gatsby would be fun. Someone says he's a thousand years old. Dan Aykroyd got a ghost blowjob and everyone forgets.

Someone says Paul Rudd is seven in dog years and four foot six. says Paul Rudd is seven in dog years and four foot six. Yeah. I mean, they passed up John Stamos for Paul Rudd as the sexiest man alive. I will not stand for this disinformation brought to you by Marvel studios. Okay. I was a little wrong about Paul Rudd. Is he five 10? Is he 5'10"? That's a true stat? God. I just disseminated fake news onto you. Paul Rudd is a little bit more of a stud than I thought. 5'10", you put that kid in Air Max, he's a six-footer.

That kid wears 95s. You could go up to 6'1", with Air Max 95s. I apologize to Paul Rudd, to his representatives, to his lawyers, to Marvel Studios, to People Magazine. Paul Rudd is a candidate for sexiest person alive at 5'10". I just thought, like, if you asked any woman, no woman would ever say a guy under 5'9 could be sexiest man alive.

Okay, enough with the fake news. Enough. But Paul Rudd, hats be sexiest man alive. Okay, enough with the fake news. Enough. But Paul Rudd, hats off to you, dude. You're taller than I thought. What can I tell you? Sometimes good journalism is learning the truth while you're doing it. And it's good to know that I could have a conversation

eye-to-eye with Paul Rudd, man-to-man, and we'd be on equal footing. Judd Apatow is shaking watching this. Cute and skittish says, I had a dream I made a cameo in a movie and looked super tiny compared to everyone else in the shot. LOL. Sometimes you look down and you just get a nice snoozer.

Did you find a good pizza place in the Burbs? No. Leonardo DiCaprio for sexiest of all time. Dude is out there scalping Bezos' side pieces. Scalping is pretty funny when you refer it to somebody's body count. He's out there fucking scalping chicks. So that is the tale of two cities right there on the one hand we got kyle rittenhouse

on trial and then in some positive news paul rudd is the sexiest man in america a marvel of a man i'm sure i'm sure paul rudd you know i'm sure they polled a lot of women and women just there was only one name on their mind. Have you ever heard Paul Rudd come up as a sexy from a woman? Has anyone ever mentioned Paul Rudd and sexy in the same fucking sentence? Has it ever happened that Paul Rudd was mentioned by one heterosexual woman? No. You know who women like? Ted Bundy.

You know? heterosexual woman no you know who women like ted bundy you know for some reason ryan reynolds is universally liked you can even ask like a 400 pound black woman she'd be like ryan that boy's cute right oh my god oh my god you talking about the green lantern oh my god he killed that white boy cute he is universally considered to be sexy you ask about leonardo dicaprio women always go uh i like him in the departed but i don't like him in this brad pitt oh i like him in this but i don't like him in that ryan reynolds 100 100 this but I don't like him in that Ryan Reynolds 100% 100% accuracy of all races you can ask an Indian woman who just got here she'll say Ryan Reynolds I don't know what it is dog I don't see it Dan the man 814 says just told my wife about Rudd. Her reaction was pure disgust. T-Zell-it, T.Zell-it, Paul Rudd

equals sexiest man and Yanni the most shadow band man. Paul Rudd and Jenny Aniston were porking in a movie. Oh God. Burbs59 says he's not the sexiest man he's the cuckiest man in the world oh charles stephen says women want makeup and shoes so no no shade i'm not trying to show any shade on paul rudd i'm just i'm just exposing here how I don't think that this is a pure system. I suspect that he had a movie to promote and damn was I right. He is a bankable star though. Wasn't he Ant-Man?

He was Ant-Man. Now he's a Ghostbuster. Brian Williams is leaving ABC after 28 years one of America's most recognized anchors leaving NBC after 28 because he says and I quote

this is from Brian Williams I had a great time at NBC but now it's time for me to focus on my own podcast. I will be starting it as a side project for me and Anna Faris. You may know her from the Scary Movie Trilogiesies who now has a very popular podcast of her own and is an intriguing young lady who's friends with my daughter and my daughter suggested it would be good for my brand if i started a podcast with Anna Faris called Chicago Homicide Stories. So I will be discussing with Anna Faris the murders that happened on the south side of Chicago on our new podcast called Second City is Lit with Brian Williams and Anna Faris

from the Unqualified podcast. Thank you to my daughter. Follow me on Instagram, Brian Williams, money sign, money sign, hashtag three heart emojis and one money sign money sign hashtag three heart emojis and one money sign conglomerate be will dogs ya heard so that's exciting for Brian Williams

that he's starting his own podcast oh he also says follow me on Twitch so good luck to Brian Williams in your new endeavor with Anna Faris I definitely want to hear about the uh Chicago homicide rate in South Chicago and hear what kind of uh you know hijinks you and Anna Faris can kick up you know it's not everyone who could make that funny. And I think if there is a comedy team that could do it, it's Brian Williams and Anna Faris. I'm very excited to have this new sponsor on,

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code fumes for 20 off your first box go check it out get yourself some goodies and have fun with it aaron rogers man i don't know who listens or watches this podcast from the green bay area but you know it's not aaron rogers fault that sports journalists did not have any follow-up questions when he said he was immunized okay they said have you been vaccinated he said yeah i've been immunized okay he'd been immunized a lot of people are saying that he was deceptive in that argument they even forced this great man to walk back that comment and apologize for deceiving people and say hey i just want to get back to football okay he's like that quarterback in the jerry mcguuire movies like I don't know man I just want to play football leave me alone

I want to play football and then apparently I want to play backup guitar for Pearl Jam after the season's over Aaron Rodgers is the equivalent of a draft dodger says Salois16 here's the deal I blame the sports journalists you know if it was any other question they would have a hundred million follow-up questions one guy answers

the question yeah i was immunized that doesn't make you a little suspicious they said are you vaccinated he goes and then he went i'm immun. Did you see the way he answered that? He just kind of looked down. He pulled his hat and he went, I'm immunized. He answered it like he was trying to, well, you know, when you forget someone's name and you're like, what's up, John? Yeah, I was immunized.

No follow-up questions. That's a failure of sports journalism. At that point, you're supposed to say, Aaron Rodgers, you may be the greatest quarterback of all time, definitely one of the two best, skills-wise. You're the best in the league. You're the most exciting player to watch. You're the leader of the Green Bay Packers.

You're the face of football. You're one of the most famous people in the country. We got a few extra questions. What did you get? Extra, extra, read all about it. Did you go Pfizer? Did you go Moderna? People want to know what the face of football chose. Was it Johnson and Johnson? Are you a man of the people? Which one did you choose? Okay. Follow-up questions.

Was it Pfizer? Are you really gay? Are the rumors true? Come on. at Pfizer. Are you really gay? Are the rumors true? Come on! Let's get to the hard, hidden questions. Aaron Rodgers, do you like men? There's rumors. Okay, but there was also rumors that

Richard Gere used to stick a gerbil in his ass and that was before the internet where you could just start a rumor and nobody could go check it those were the fun days right you remember where like Phil Collins wrote that song uh because somebody killed his brother in a boat and then he invited that guy there and sang the song in front of him and then the police came and arrested him that was QAnon before QAnon you know that was like when you could just make up a story and everyone believed it for years, for years and years and years. I can't tell you how many times me and some other

person had a good laugh about picturing Richard gear, taking his gerbil out every night to go to sleep and then putting it back in so he can have his day comfortable the way that he likes it. Cause apparently the story was Richard gear just liked to live life in so he can have his day comfortable the way that he likes it. Because apparently the story was Richard Gere just liked to live life, meaning he would shoot his movies. And the only thing that made him calm, what was his Lexapro, was a live gerbil in his ass trying to find out where he was and trying to feel around. That Richard, some kid just created a rumor and said, Richard Gere puts a gerbil in a plastic bag

and sticks it in his ass and he likes to feel it crawl around. Nobody had follow-up questions. Nobody said, hey, how long can a gerbil live in Richard Gere's ass? Science never weighed in. That's why we don't trust Fauci. We don't trust science. They never give us the questions. They never give us the answers to the questions we really want to know is it even possible to live your life with a gerbil in your ass that's live how do you know when you got to take a shit does it feel the same how does it not distract you when you're reading your scenes opposite opposite uh julia julia roberts and pretty women can you tell when you're Opposite Julia Roberts in Pretty Women. Can you tell when you're watching him act that he's reacting to a gerbil

frantically trying to find his way out of his ass? Those were the fun days. Those were the fun days. Salios, 16. They had to cut the audio because Giannis is doing his Hitler impersonation again. Oh, the audio's gone again? Okay, well, just, you know, I don't know why that happens.

It just, did I get a phone call from my brother again? There's just no way to stop. You know, they just probably cut the audio because they contacted Richard Gere and I'm bullying Richard Gere. That is what Zuckerberg is trying to do right now to clean up his image. He's trying to just censor every comedian

who may say something that could be considered bullying. I don't care. I'm going to keep posting on Instagram, shadow ban me all the fuck you want. YanisPappasComedy.com for tickets. A whole bunch of new dates have just gone. The breakup. New Jersey.

December. December. I'm going to be at Uncle Vinny's. Get your tickets. I'm going to be all over the place. YanisPappasComedy.com for your tickets. Patreon.com slash YanniLongDays for a bonus episode every week and other content. We need you guys to join the Patreon because we're now going twice a week.

We're doing a news episode for your Saturday like we've always been doing. and now we're adding a guest chat episode every Thursday. So that means my budget's just gone up. So I need you guys to join the Patreon. Please. Patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays. Go join. Pause due to a poor connection.

Now they're just taking me out. Now they're just taking me out. I have a poor connection. That's what Facebook is saying. Shadow banning my ass. I'm losing my fucking audience here. Big news. Big, big news

out of the Marjorie Taylor Greene section of this country, which I like to consider the most entertaining section of this country. Whenever Marjorie Taylor Greene talks, I listen, as should you, because there's only one person in this country right now

that has the temerity, the balls, the courage, the piety to speak the truth. And that is Marjorie Taylor Greene. Marjorie Taylor Greene has said, after talking to people in prison, that she has found that Republicans and the nation of Islam have a lot in common.

They got a lot in common. And I would love to read to you what our truth teller, she is our oracle, if you will. I mean, this is hilarious hilarious instagram has completely blocked me from live right now they have i mean you're having no trouble on the internet right i mean right now instagram is preventing me from going live so something i said on live is just it's funny like i cannot get on Instagram Live. Unbelievable.

They're trying to get rid of me. So Marjorie Taylor Greene, just look that up. As they're telling my followers that they've started a video. Finally, they gave me back. Apparently, Richard Gere, somebody who knew Richard Gere, slipped into my live and shut me down it's not my fault Richard Greer you remember that rumor right oh yeah

that was the best and we just all believed it was true for years and debated it debated for years whether it was true that Richard Greer let a gerbil live rent-free in his asshole every day, and we would talk about how

that would work. In fact, I think one of my friends actually bought a gerbil, put him in a plastic bag, and saw if it was possible to get a live gerbil in your ass. I mean, that brings up a lot of complications. The guy's alive. You got to really open your

asshole to stick him in. So before we get to Marjorie Taylor Greene, as Jesse looks up the article, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Nation of Islam, Travis Scott, his concert, obviously very tragic. There was a loss of life. I think eight people died. One of them was nine years old. I think one of them was 14. It does beg the question,

though, like, why has someone let a nine-year-old go to a Travis Scott concert? And is Travis Scott responsible for not stopping the concert? That's not his fault. Do you hold him liable for the people's death in the audience? Or is that the concert promoter's fault? I mean, they packed him in like sardines, dude.

That looked like a Japanese subway during rush hour. That's what that That looked like a Japanese subway during rush hour. That's what that concert looked like. And they're blaming Travis Scott for continuing to perform like he's supposed to know what's going on when there's a sea of people, of kids in front of him. There was more than 50,000 fans at his show. How is he supposed to know that people are getting crushed while he's performing?

Dude, you can't hear anything. That's the concert promoter's fault. That's where, hey, baby, if you have a concert in Texas, and this was at the same time that Luis J. Gomez was having his skank fest. So it's like, hey, next time Luis J. Gomez has skank fest south and there's a, hey, next time Luis J. Gomez has skank fest South

and there's a rap concert, which one are you going to go to? Maybe the one that you're not going to die at. And ironically, most people would think that that was skank fest South. But it happened to be the Travis Scott concert. Here's the deal. You go to a concert in Texas,

there's no rules, baby. It's Texas. Anything can happen. No regulations. They do not let the government tell them what to do. This concert promoter had no safety regulations and he is not accountable for any regulation that he needs to meet. There's no standard. He just packed them in. You're on your own in Texas. It's free the way George Washington and God intended. Red, white, and blue, it's on you.

That is the motto of Texas. Red, white, and blue, it's all on you. You're free to do what you want. You're a nine-year-old. I guess nobody was checking IDs at the Travis Scott concert where a nine-year-old went in there to hear rap lyrics

that undoubtedly had some curse words in them. My wife won't even let my baby watch Cocoa Melon because she feels like it's created by the CCP in order to brainwash him, let alone would I ever let my nine year old daughter go to a fucking concert I don't even care if that concert is being held at

Carnegie Hall and it's classical music I don't give a shit if the fucking cartoon from Frozen is singing my daughter's not going to a fucking concert at nine years old she's going to daycare and she's going home it was a nine years old. She's going to daycare and she's going home.

It was a nine-year-old. Tragic. But I'm not going to blame Travis Scott. Okay? That kid didn't rise up out of poverty to become one of the biggest rap stars in the country

to get taken down by people crushing other people in the audience. Survivors have described the horror as a whirlpool of people moving towards the stage during Scott's performance Friday night. Kid's popular. Kid is popular.

It's a tragedy these kids died. Just kids and people falling and people trying to reach up like they're reaching up for you. I really heard people screaming like, help me, please. How can Travis Scott hear that while he's performing? He can't hear that, dog.

You know? Not his fault. Which begs the question, I bet you a lot of these charismatic people on stage, a few people got crushed. You know what I'm saying? You think when Mussolini was fucking, Mussolini was really getting into it? When Mussolini was really feeling it, I bet you there was a little bit of a bum rush to the stage. I also want to know at the Coliseum, where did people go to the bathroom?

Did they have stalls in the Coliseum? And did fights break out like they do between like sports fans and stadiums? Was it just Roman dudes and togas? Some dudes peeing next to the other guy and next thing you know, a brawl breaks out and it gets broken up by dudes with swords. You know, I guess back then bouncers just had swords. So they would just come in and break it up just by killing you they would just slash you or maybe there was no brawls because they knew that the guards were soldiers and that they would kill you but I bet you it was the same thing as now like you you know you go to like a a football game and a fight breaks out in the stands between

fans I mean the same thing happened back in Rome. You know, when some Roman gladiator from the city of Rome was fighting someone from Pompeii and there was fans from Pompeii there wearing grapes on their head or whatever their city's emblem was. And they're like, yo, fuck you. No, fuck you.

My gladiator's the best. Next thing you know, they were just fist a-cupping in sheets. At least 18 lawsuits have been filed in Harris County District Court in Texas related to Astroworld and the tragedy. A Houston attorney has filed 68 lawsuits for injured victims. Who are they suing, though?

Ooh, the list of defendants, Live Nation. Houston attorney has filed 68 lawsuits for injured victims. Who are they suing though? Ooh, the list of defendants, Live Nation. Ooh, that's a biggie. Live Nation, oh God, they're about to take a hit. They just took a long, big hit under COVID. So they lost a lot of money and this is going to be a massive lawsuit. They're also going after Travisvis scott drake who was there nrg park where the festival took place and the lawsuit is going to include

the security company and potentially others damn they are suing everybody man everybody everybody how can you sue the park i mean texas is wild dog it's like when the uh when they lost power and shit you know because they have all their like deregulated companies running the power it's like hey man like it's texas dog it's a free-for-all you know you never you go to texas if you got a mask on during covid people look at you like you're Texas, dog, it's a free-for-all, you know? Whenever you go down to Texas, if you got a mask on during COVID, people look at you like you're wearing an ISIS t-shirt. They look at you like,

look at this un-American communist, ISIS terrorist. Let alone if someone asks for ID or for regulations for a concert, they're gonna be like, hey man, grow up, grab your balls. This is Texas. Do you want to see the concert or not? And then some nine-year-old says, yeah, I do. I really want to see the concert. And they say, how old are you, kid?

I'm not sure if you can be here. And he goes, I'm 21. And they're like, send him in. We ain't letting Nancy Pelosi regulate this concert. Nine-year-olds welcome. Am I right about that? What was the ages of the kids who died? I'm pretty sure it aged from nine to 27.

It was eight victims. I know a lot of people were injured. But women in Texas should just go to a Travis Scott concert if they don't want the baby. go to a Travis Scott concert if they don't want the baby. That's from Nor Windarv, who says that's, I guess, an alternative, is to just get kind of smashed around at a Travis Scott concert. I mean, if you don't want to be reported on for getting an abortion,

that is what this gentleman is saying. That is the danger of comment roulette. I just looked down to read. Coffee and Cat says, I live in Houston. There are all sorts of crazy rumors and things happening. Like what, Coffee Cats? Grimace and Pain says, ambulance rolled in and he kept playing. Not a good look.

Okay, yeah. Ambulance rolled in and he kept playing. Not a good look. Okay, yeah. Ambulance rolled in and he kept playing. Not a good look. Could he see the ambulance though? In a sea of 50,000 people, it's kind of hard to know what's going on, you know? So I don't know. Also, is it his responsibility to stop playing?

Like, he just shows up and plays. You know, this is one of those lawsuits I'm very intrigued to find out who actually gets sued and who's actually responsible. Because is it really on Travis Scott to know what's going on with the venue? You know? With 50,000 people there? It's hard to tell what's going on. It's nighttime. It's not like a proper venue. It's a park. It's not like it's well lit. It's not like it's used to having concerts. I mean, I'm guessing Live Nation is going to be responsible.

I don't think the security i don't think you can make a case for the security company it's hard to get to people you know i think it's going to be live i think live nation is going to be in trouble man and man they already took a huge hit lost a lot of money not doing live events so that this is big this could be big so the the victims were 27 23 23 21 20 14 21 and 16 so none of them were nine so this is not a real news show but i did read somewhere that a nine-year-old was there and injured can you can you google that because i'm pretty sure let's just otherwise everything i just said was a lie. Instagram is trying to enslave and silence our Greek

emperor. Thank you, Omar is wild. Yeah, I was right. So nine-year-old nine-year-old Ezra Blount is fighting for his life after being trampled. So I am right. There was a nine-year-old boy there. That I think you can put on the security company, no? So that one's, you can't be nine years old to go to a rap concert all right is there a Texas law that says you can be fucking nine at a concert did he have his parent with him I mean

they're just fucking nine-year-olds walking around looking for Coachella? Live Nation, Jason the Ryan says, Live Nation has a ton of previous lawsuits over safety concerns. This could be bad for Live Nations. McDonald's and Travis Scott

getting us fat and sacrificed. I didn't know who Travis Scott was aside from knowing he had a McDonald's meal. Rumors, Travis Scott is a satanic worshiper. I saw this.

That's why he was singing and staring at the dead dude. Ha ha. Yeah, I've heard that too. I mean, the internet's undefeated with its conspiracies. I'm not sure that Travis Scott is a Satanist. I'm not sure if this was a satanic ritual to sacrifice people. I'm not sure.

I'm going to lean towards no on that one. I'm going to lean towards no unless there's more evidence. And I will be waiting for QAnon's thorough investigation into whether that is what actually happened. And I'm sure that QAnon will find a way to tie it to the high Satan priestess herself, Hillary Clinton. And unless it's tied to Hillary Clinton, I don't buy it. Because Hillary Clinton and unless it's tied to Hillary Clinton I don't buy it because Hillary Clinton killed those kids what if Travis Scott was Hillary Clinton she shapeshifted into him

we all know Hillary Clinton can shapeshift coffee and cats says I seen little girls on their daddy's shoulders at an ICP show in Houston yeah I mean it's man. Texas has like less regulations with everything, period. It's a free-for-all, you know? Live Nation's in trouble. Travis Scott's probably scared. I don't know if anyone will be criminally prosecuted, but I heard rumors that he may be criminally prosecuted for this, that he may be.

But, you know, hearts out, obviously, to Ezra Blount, the nine-year-old, and all the other victims. Horrible. And a lot of people were injured. It was tragic. I saw a lot of videos on TikTok. You know, it's just great to know that people start filming when something like this happens.

So, big tragedy. so if you go to a concert in texas bring fucking body armor man or i don't know ask someone to live stream it for you i mean 50 000 people how big is this park isn't that like close to a football stadium 80 000 can fit in a football stadium. So there was 50,000 people at this concert. How big was the park? Because when you look at the videos of it, I mean, they were, dude, it looked like a Japanese subway at 8 a.m. Japan time. I mean, they're like sardines in there, dude. I don't even think you can blame Travis Scott I feel like this would have happened anyway I understand someone tried to steal his sneakers

people started pushing but like it look at that look at that shit man I mean it is fucking packed in there if you have to go to the bathroom what do you do in there if you have 50 go to the bathroom, what do you do in there? If you have 50,000 people, how many stalls do they have out there? I think that we're going to see a lot of heat come down on Live Nation and the promoters. I mean, damn, dude, imagine you're in the middle of that

and you have to go to the bathroom. Like, seriously, what do you think you do? Do you just pee in a Gatorade bottle? Wow. Is that it right there my god dude it looks like d-day looks like d-day times square yeah well yanni you know yanni's getting old because he's only worried how people are going to use the bathroom. Guess who just joined? Uncle Paulie just came into the live chat. Let me tell you something. My name's Uncle Paulie.

I'm from Queens, New York. There's three things I care about. The Mets The Jets And Republican values So if you come to Uncle Paulie's Deli Make sure you don't have your fucking vax card Cause I ain't letting anybody in with a fucking max

And I ain't letting anyone in with a fucking max card Line up to the right And I'll get you your fucking sandwich Here we Line up to the right and I'll get you your fucking sandwich. Here we go. We got the Godfather. We got the Hamilton Avenue Special. We got the Keith Hernandez's mustache.

We got the Mookie Wilson. We got the Kevin Mitchell and of course the Daryl Strawberry which is a fucking Italian hero with strawberries on him. And of course we got cannolis from Bragioli's Deli Bakery Donna Block.

They're fucking made fresh by Marie and Janine who are fucking my friends I grew up with out there. We're over there at Ridgewood Queens out there. Go fucking Mets. Go fucking Mets Go fucking match. Welcome to Uncle Paulie's. Welcome to Uncle Paulie's.

Where cops and firefighters always eat free. Welcome to Uncle Paulie's. Where there's one bathroom for the men and one bathroom for the girls. And there ain't no fucking third bathroom. Welcome to Uncle Paulie's's we only serve two genders welcome to Uncle Paulie's for 15% off please say

AOC is dead to me code Uncle Paulie's throughout the Los Angeles area. Of course, this is all jokes. Uncle Paulie's is a great sandwich shop in Los Angeles. He's got locations until he burns them down for the insurance money. I'm just kidding. Uncle Paulie's. They serve all.

They love all. I'm joking. Erica Rosa says, Uncle Paulie sounds like They serve all. They love all. I'm joking. Erica Rosa says, Uncle Paulie's sounds like good people to me. Omar Oswald, Uncle Paulie's. What's a trance? Kennedy Tallarico,

Uncle Paulie's. There's enough garlic in his sauce. Back to some fun. Norwin Adarv says, Kyle Rittenhouse and Travis Scott should do a collab and see how many people they can kill in a night. I'm sorry I read that. That is the danger of comment roulette, baby.

You spin the barrel of the gun, and once in a while there's a bullet in there that could demonetize your boy. Aunt Paulina's taco truck. Uncle Paulie's 2024 with an American flag. Oh, God. Oh, that was funny. Coffee and Cat says,

my fam is from Bayside, Queens. I need a deli down here. Cat's Deli in Houston isn't that great. Well, go up to Los Angeles and go to Uncle Paulie's. And get yourself to Keith Hernandez's mustache. Which is roast beef, mustard cheese, grilled onions. Get yourself to Keith Hernandez's mustache, which is roast beef, Munster cheese, grilled onions.

I mean, how great are the names on the sandwich board at a New York deli? Go to Uncle Pauly's and get yourself to A-Train. Go to Uncle Pauly's and get yourself the Dollar Van. The Dollar Van Hero Chicken Cutlet Swiss. Little mustard, little mayo, little ketchup. You want it toasted or not? Of course, bacon on the Godfather. Do you guys want the

Capo? We got the Capo sandwich. We got the Giangotti. We got the Giuliani with Russian dressing. We got the John Gotti. We got the Giuliani with Russian dressing. We got the... We got the back... We got the back... Welcome to Uncle Paulie's. We got the back to blue on a roll.

It's called the back to blue sandwich. Of course, we got the Reggie. We got the Mr. October. We got the Derek Jeter's hit list, Uncle Paul, he's the only trans I support, is in my Buick Skylark, we got the Soprano,

of course, you're pulling up some names of sandwiches, yeah, the Pinocchio from, you got to go to the, get the Pinocchio, from El Dor to go to the, get the Pinocchio from El Dorio to New York staple. Then of course you got the hot chicken palm from Meat Hook Sandwich Shop. You got to get the butt from Untamed Sandwiches. Of course, the breakfast roll. How about this one? The Uncle Jesse from Bauhaus. That's named after John Stamos.

Yeah. Oh, God. That was funny. Uncle Paulies, keep the element out of the neighborhood. You know what the worst part about this is? None of this has to do with Uncle Paulies. We're just having a good time uncle paulie's is the best someone else says uncle paulie definitely sees color we're having too much fun we're having too much fun on long days i love you paulie thank you for

the shirt i just can't stop reading these because they're funny. Uncle Paulie's where all the fries are served with a side of red, white, and blue cheese. Uncle Paulie's better not see you with my granddaughter. Welcome to Uncle Paulie's. Enjoy our famous sandwich It matters. Okay. I'm crying. I'm crying. Sorry, Paulie. It's actually a delicious sandwich shop if you're in the Los Angeles area. You don't,

they accept all genders, races, creeds, and political affiliations. Okay? Paulies. You could also get an Eastside Cheesecake at Paulie's. He has, what, three locations? I got to give him some free advert because, you know, we're having a good time at his expense.

Paulie, I've known Paulie for years. No, that's not it. Uncle Paulie's Peruvian rotisserie chicken? That's not it. Where's that? Yo, Paulie, do you know that there's some Ecuadorian kid who's got a fucking shop called Peruvian Rotisserie Chicken and More? No, Uncle Paulie's Los Angeles.

Oh, God. Oh, God. God, that was funny oh god uncle paulie's in downtown los angeles studio city uh and and coming soon more i love this merch too he sent me a bunch i'll give you one of his sweatshirts he sent me like a whole fucking thing you know and there's paulie right there in the middle paulie once told me one of the most profound things i'll never forget he said the universe is balanced which makes you think like if one guy has a talent and one like you know justin timberlake can do all these things no way

the kid doesn't have a micro penis the universe is balanced you know so that's why you can never be jealous of anybody because whatever achievement they got they also got some other deficiency because we're all human look how delicious those sandwiches look and i've heard how delicious they So that's why you can never be jealous of anybody. Because whatever achievement they got, they also got some other deficiency. Because we're all human. Look how delicious those sandwiches look. And I've heard how delicious they are. I love it. Because, you know, the deli in New York is such like a staple.

And he took that and he brought it out to Cooktown, USA. Uncle Paul, he's the only pride we got. No, I can't read that, Omar. I'm not going reading that Uncle Paulie's the only bread we serve is white I can't these are the fans cause if my smash bean fluffs up should I smear witch hazel on it

yes and of course he's got black and white cookies over at Uncle Paulie's oh god that was so funny I'm fucking crying okay so somebody called in a bunch of bomb threats to three Ivy League schools

I don't think there's any suspects and you gotta find that Marjorie Taylor Greene thing but I don't think there's any suspects. And you got to find that Marjorie Taylor Greene thing, but I don't think there's any suspects. The only suspect I could think of, who would be mad at the Ivy League? I would say people who are not being admitted. So I'm definitely going to have to maybe suspect the Asian and South Asian community for getting discriminated against for being so good at school that they have to figure out a way to not let them in. So maybe they called in the bomb threats. Columbia University. A couple of schools, a couple of egghead schools got bomb threats.

Ithaca? No, that's Columbia. Cornell. I don't know. Or do you think maybe it could have been like some woke kids because there may be still one white male professor on campus? Or do you think, yeah, it could have just been some kids who were angry that they're still teaching math because math is racist. Bomb threats trigger evacuations at Columbia. Oh, God. What a fucking world we live in.

This is a great one, Jess. Kamala Harris. Are we at Marjorie Taylor Greene yet? Let's go to the Marjorie Taylor Greene. These are two goodies. This one's been more of a fun one. Marjorie Taylor Greene, who, like I said before,

is America's number one soothsayer. When I want to know what's going on, I like to check in with Marjorie Taylor Greene because her views represent the best that this country has to offer as far as critical thinking and

just, you know, high context and valuable opinions. Oh yeah, get the one you don't got to pay for. Marjorie Taylor Greene. Go to Fox Fox News I'm sure they celebrate it Fox News our beloved Marjorie Taylor Greene

it probably starts Marjorie Taylor Greene raises eyebrows by touting common ground with the nation of Islam this is where you say, how can Saturday Night Live do its job when life is doing its job for them? Because this would be a sketch. Okay, here we go. This is a good one.

And then we go to Kamala. So the Nation of Islam, as you know, is a black nationalist group. They've been identified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center for espousing deeply racist, more specifically anti-Semitic and anti-gay sentiments. Yeah, it's fair to say the Nation of Islam is no fan of the LGBTQ community.

And like I said, they got their 101 fundamentals of hate down. They're no fans of the Jews. So, but good old Marjorie Talley Green, who is a representative at the federal level. She's a Congresswoman, or as I like to say, a Congress thing. She was, of course, she's been slapped with fine after fine after fine for not wearing a mask. And she goes, on my recent visit to the D.C. jail, one of the things I picked up was some religious material.

They had options, Christian and Islam. The D.C. jail offered Louis Farrakhan's Nation of Islam paper. Okay, we're setting it up. Now scroll down to what she said. She said, we have common ground there. The Nation of Islam sees the use and benefit of ivermectin. And said the group is very angry that our media, let me translate that for what she said,

the Jewish-run media, the Jewish-run Democrats, and the Jew-Italian himself, Dr. Fauci, have attacked. We have common ground. The nation of Islam is also strongly opposed to the COVID-19 vaccine, and the nation of Islam is very against children being given the COVID-19 vaccine. More common ground. This was a tweet. She did a long tweet here.

So there you go. People want to know who's going to be Farrakhan's successor when the nation of Islam loses their great leader. I think we have a nominee right here. Marjorie Taylor Greene may be the next leader of the nation of Islam. They have a lot of common ground and hate Jews. Don't you love it when extremists on both sides finally find each other? How come nobody's making a fucking love story about that? Why is that not a beautiful? Why don't, if you're going to remake the notebook, remake the notebook with Marjorie Taylor Greene and Louis Farrakhan,

who find each other at a CrossFit facility somewhere in Canarsie, Brooklyn, where Farrakhan is burning incense and talking Jew hate. And Marjorie Taylor Greene wanders in because she's on the road. She's visiting because who knows, her college football team she thinks is in town somewhere. And she visits to a CrossFit facility that Farrakhan happens to be working out at because he wants to stay in shape and lead the nation of Islam together. And they fuck and share bedtime niceties

like fuck the Jews together. Fuck the Jews, fuck the vaccine, fuck Fauci. It is a match made in heaven. Marjorie Taylor Greene has finally found her soulmate, Louis Farrakhan. Can you just pick, how funny a sketch would that be if you did like quick cuts of them like having coffee together and one of them saying like,

yeah, the Jews are behind everything and they're cracking up and music is playing. Then the next thing you know, they pull out like a bottle of ivermectin. They start chugging it. They go like this with their bottles of ivermectin. They do one of those things. You know, they do those things. She's pouring the ivermectin in his mouth. He's pouring the ivermectin in her mouth. Here's a good one. Louis Farrakhan says that forcing the vaccine is a declaration of war green continued i'm strongly opposed to radicalism i'm strongly opposed to radicalism she's trying to make it work for her followers here she's trying this is where her brain probably started to hurt a little bit.

She goes, I'm strongly opposed to radical Islam, but I do believe in the freedom of religion guaranteed to us by our constitution. So, hey, I didn't know these guys hated the Jews. Now that I know, they ain't so bad. They ain't so bad, people. Louis Farrakhan says the forcing the vaccine is a declaration of war.

Yeah, so they found common ground, you know? She's out there spreading the word, the gospel, if you will. Like, hey, listen, guys, don't be so judgmental about these Islamists, okay? They get it. They get it more than I thought that they get it, they get it more than I thought that they get it, then you see them just like, you know, they're at a diner, you know, they go to a diner with crayons for the kids to draw, and like, they're both drawing just like a caricature of a hooked Jew's money-grubbing Jew, and they're just giggling and giggling and giggling,

and the music plays, it's like the odd couple, giggling and giggling and giggling. And the music plays. It's like the odd couple. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And Farrakhan is walking around just ripping hats off of Jews and Marjorie Taylor Greene's laughing.

God. Nothing brings people together more than anti-Semitism. So hats off to this new love affair. I hope you guys have a long, prosperous, successful marriage. And I think it's going to work. I think hate is stronger than love. And nothing brings together people more than hate, dude.

Think about it. If we had a common enemy, that's the only thing that's going to unite us in the world, right? So, Marjorie Taylor Greene never ceases to entertain. She's in love with Louis Farrakhan. Marjorie Taylor Greene will be the next guest speaker at your local mosque where she will be. Welcome to the stage.

To the stage in an uproar of applause from men in suits holding newspapers that are trying to sell you on the highway and Louis Farrakhan will be welcomed to sing the national anthem at whatever Akron, Ohio technical community college football game

those are the two cultures coming together right there. I mean, we know the nation Islam well because they roll around New York a lot. Marjorie Taylor Greene, I think, comes from that critical thinking, sort of, you know, middle America, college football kind of, you know,

elite class. Fun stuff. Even funner not to be outdone. And I'm not talking about China building mock-ups of US Navy ships in the desert and firing at them for missile practice. I'm not talking about that type of fun. I'm talking about Kamala, Kamala Harris.

Kamala Harris. Kamala Harris needs some answers from NASA and she needs them now. She has put NASA on notice and she wants some answers about what the tree situation is. Do you sometimes, can you believe sometimes

we just before we were talking about a crisis of leadership in America, this is our vice president. She's the vice president of the United States. Can you play the clip? Kamala Harris asks NASA if they're able to track trees by race as a part of environmental justice.

Let's take just like take a little gander. Why? Why? by race there are averages of the number of trees in the neighborhood where people live why why what is she talking about dude what is she like so addicted to identity politics that she's trying to tie do you think she just i think what happened is maybe she was listening and she tuned out she just tuned out and then she tuned back in and they were like do you have any questions kamala and she just went to a go-to because whenever you go to any justice you whenever you veil any question in some sort of social justice veneer nobody can question you without looking bad even though even if the question doesn't make sense at all she said is there any way that we are able to track trees by race as a part of environmental justice? That's like me.

That's like me saying, hey, is there any way for us to trace gap t-shirts by race? Is there any way for me to trace plastic straws by race for environmental justice? Is there any way for me to trace sidewalk density by race and neighborhoods for equity. What was she trying to get at? Is there another one? Let's see what the article says. The video of Harris asking this specific question has gone viral on Twitter with over 1 million views.

Many people went to Twitter to poke fun at the vice president. Here's some of the tweets i can't get over the fact that environmental justice and tree equity are the real phrases democrats use i thought uh i thought this was a babylon b headline turns out it's our totally serious vice president. Yeah. So she wants to know, apparently, how much trees are in different neighborhoods. And somehow that will enlighten her as to if there is any inequity,

any racial injustice being done. Like, for example, I guess if a neighborhood, what if a neighborhood is highly diverse and has low trees? What is Kamala going to do then? What if a white neighborhood has less trees than a black neighborhood? For example, if you're in Bowie, Maryland, What if a white neighborhood has less trees than a black neighborhood? For example, if you're in Bowie, Maryland, that happens to be a suburban.

I mean, what is she talking about? Obviously, there's going to be more trees in suburban neighborhoods than city neighborhoods. And guess what? White people are not the only ones who live in suburbs. If you go to Atlanta, I guarantee you that there will be more trees in a black suburban area than there will be in a white affluent city area. Because guess what, Kamala? Cities have less fucking trees. If you live in a city, there's less fucking trees because they've paved over where the fucking trees grow out of what kind of fucking distraction nap were you in that you just

woke up and threw race at whatever was being talked about she could have she could have woken up and they could have been talking about kitchen cabinets and she said can we is there any way to track how many kitchen cabinets are actually made out of wood by race for environmental justice. Vice President Harris visited the Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Maryland on Friday. She was there to see vital climate science work. So she was there for, you know, to discuss climate and what our future is.

Harris asked a very, someone said, woke question that has caused thousands of Twitter users to mock her. She asked NASA if they could use its satellites to track trees by race. If they could use its satellites to track trees by race. So listen, guys, social justice has now extended itself to trees, dude. You do. You got some fucking, you have some very white supremacist trees out there. Those trees need to be cut down.

Those are okay. The trees that need to stay are trees from disenfranchised neighborhoods. Those are the good trees. And then there's bad trees. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to say except that all trees matter. Patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays please join i told you why we're going twice a week now so get ready for that this episode comes to you every saturday and then we have our guest episode

on our beautiful guest set uh every thursday we got great great interviews coming up. So you're going to really enjoy. Go to yannispapascomedy.com for tickets. I got dates coming up all over the place, guys. So I'd really appreciate if you guys went and saw if your city was on there. And if your city's on there, you know city's on there you know what to do you know exactly what to do here we go i am in point pleasant new jersey on december 3rd and the 4th at uncle vinnie's comedy club then i'm at comics mohegan sun on december 16th 17th, 17th, and 18th. Plano, Texas, January 6th, 7th, and 8th. San Diego, California, January 20th through the 22nd.

Tampa, Florida, one show. Side splitters on 2-10. February 10th, then Edmonton, February 22nd. Sorry, February 17th to the 19th. Then New Westminster. I'm going to be in Canada 24th to 26th Bloomington Minnesota March 3rd to the 5th

San Antonio Texas March 24th to the 26th Phoenix Arizona the 14th through the 17th and more dates coming up in Arlington and some other places and I will add those dates. They'll be

going on my website. So please, yannispappascomedy.com. Get tickets to see me live. And now, we would like to welcome our small business shout-outs that support this show. We support you like you support us. Time to give a shout-out to these small businesses. We love you guys to death, man. My boy, Nate Linder, natelinder.com. He will help you build your website, run your digital advertising campaign. He is a social media manager and marketer. Hit him up, natelinder.com.

Get in touch with him. He'll make your dreams come true online. Everyone needs to up their social media game and let Nate Linder help you, natelinder.com. Andrew Cuomo, secretary. You know what it is. Zjammarealty.com. If you are a fan of this show and you need to find an apartment in New York or any commercial real estate spot for your business, whatever have you, Zjammarealty.com. Hit these screwed in Jewish kids up immediately. Then of course, if you're doing the same thing, but it's in South Florida, you hit up our boy, Grant Trower.TheAtlanticRealtyGroup.com. 954-591-6465. At Grant underscore Trower on the

gram. He will find you a spot in the South Florida area. Same thing. Chris Minetti, how you doing, Chrissy? Chrissy, let me tell you something right now. I'm going to bring some people to you. They're going to bring checks. You're going to give them cash. So we're talking about Minetti Financial Services. Okay. If you need a business check cash in the Philly, South Jersey area, call Chris, 215-750-3730. There's only one thing he can guarantee you, and that is the IRS can't track it. Compeesh. Then, of course, we got Michael Hamlet Jr., thebronxbrand.com.

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Won't be honored by DoorDash just yet. So the code will be for local pickup and delivery only. So if you do long days, you'll get 15% off of local pickup and delivery in the Los Angeles area. But they are going live October 31st. That's a couple of days for national shipping. So it's already happened. Fuck, it's November 10th. Are you sure I shouldn't get a fucking CAT scan? Yeah, go order yourself your Eastside Cheesecake right the hell hell now eastsidecheesecakes.com dude

they send it to you fresh and packed if you're having a birthday you're having a party you want dessert try east side cheesecakes they will send it to your door go to eastsidecheesecakes.com place your order east side cheesecakes on the Gram right now. Very happy to hear it. My order is coming soon, Julia and Gregory. Awesome to hear. For the free, forthefree.us, all things Hawaii, all things music. You want to know about free galas? You want to know about bands? You want to know about music in Hawaii? Go to ForTheFree.us and peruse. Just take a peruse of this organization that's dedicated to providing artists from Hawaii a place to develop.

Free shows. They post free music. Just learn about these awesome new musicians coming out of Hawaii if you love music. And if you don't, you may find music that you love. ForTheFree.us. Rob's Mental Fucking Playground, my friends. may find music that you love for the free. Dot us Rob's mental fucking playground. My friends, I need you guys to go visit the playground for this month.

Get 15% off apparel, 20% off prints, 25% off paintings, codes, holiday apparel, holiday print, holiday painting. All one word. Rob's mental playground. Are you sick of gift cards and other last minute BS? Asks Rob. Crappy holiday gifts. Find your people something different and special this year on Rob's Mental Playground.com.

Go to Rob's Mental Playground.com and buy something for someone this holiday season. Exclusiveautoshipping.com for my boy Jared Z. From the stank box. Okay. Exclusiveautank box. Okay? Exclusiveautoshipping.com. They'll move your car wherever in the world. Give them a call. Get your free quote.

If you are moving, they will let you know. They ship and can handle any route a customer gives. Nation fucking wide. Even Alaska, Puerto Rico, and for the freeze, Hawaii. Also internationally. All right? So, go to exclusiveautoshipping.com. Now, we have a very special member who we need to get to. Guys, a very special member.

I'd like to give a shout-out to Zach Tomasko. He's a singer-songwriter who makes chicken parm and white T-shirts type of music. Whether you like your sounds mature or freshly 18, go hit up Zach Tomasco and he will give you a little break from this dystopia we live in. All right, you believe the end is near? Think there's nothing good or new coming? Well, you're absolutely right.

So let's come together and spit roast a week over the heat rising from these sweet basement noises. ZachTamasco.com slash merch for all his merch and his new album, There Used to Be a Future. For now, here's Zach Tamasco. So I like that. It's available wherever you listen to music. Tamasco is pronounced like Tabasco. Instead of B, there's an M. Tamasco. So Zach Tamasco, this kid's got good music, Tomasco is pronounced like Tabasco instead of B, there's an M, Tomasco.

So Zach Tomasco, this kid's got good music, man. I listen to it. So hit up ZachTomasco.com, check out his music, and let me know what you think. Thank you, Zach Tomasco, singer-songwriter. Now for our new Patreon names. Okay, I know a few people have been complaining that they haven't got their names shot out on the pot. I don't know what's going on. John O, I hear you loud and clear, my friend. And by queer, I mean clear. I can't pronounce anything. John O, you hit me up on every possible social media site. Give it up, everybody, for John O. possible social media site give it up everybody from John O John O I see you and then of course we got Jay the skanky gay dog I see you too dog I see you guys what else diamond dickhands I left the patreon because you were hating on the right so hard I'm not super right I'm

libergarian well welcome back you fucking cunt anyone who leaves because of something I say what the fuck, this isn't the Ben Shapiro show, you're here for comedy if you don't like something, wait till next week something's coming for you, Graham Kroon, Vincent, who did I miss, Jeffrey Toobin's keyboard, I've said you

Zach Rojas leave me the fuck alone guys, I don't know why I'm missing some people, I don't know why I'm missing some people I don't know but welcome to the Patreon Roger, David, Paul, Prendville Jay Morgan, Neil Vo

Hot PP Jefferson aka the Chris Tittus Kid welcome Hot PP Jefferson we got Lee nathan a hickerson z z g zener projects llc screw it in kid got himself a shot nobody knows what it is though so you know these kids want to get into the hundred dollar level i'm sorry it's sold out jared harvin joined to finally hear his episode how great was was Jared Harvin? And he was also a great opening for me in Baltimore.

Thanks to everyone who came out. We had a blast. Whitney Quaint, Graham Kroon, Nick Newlin, Matthew Buck, Triple X, Tim Farrell, Hayden Roche, Alex Gulen, Andrew Armstrong, Andrew Sorensen. Welcome. Grayson Quaddell, Steven Sims, Dimitri Olshansky, Nathan Aguilar. This is Carly's father, Carly Aquilino, I believe, who's a comic. Check her out, Carly Aquilino. Her pops is on here shout outs

to you thank you for loving the podcast so much I'm not even sure if that's you but I know you're on there because we message Ricky Bobby Michael Quinn Luke Tartar Luke Tarter Thomas Skolan and this one I love is just G

so welcome G if I missed your name somehow just let me know. I'll fucking read it, okay? Love you guys. We'll see you next week. It's been a long day.