Yannis Pappas Hour - Nobody Cares - LongDays with Yannis Pappas - Episode 17

Episode Date: April 25, 2021

It’s Sunday! It’s a long one as Yanni explores a brilliant idea on how to mix gun control and fashion that will make both sides happy, reviews the Jake Paul Ben Askren circus, debunks Vaxx conspir...acies, the most recent Tesla malfunction due to user generated human idiocy and much much more! Get some rest cuz it’s LongDays, Bubbas!   For weekly bonus episodes on weds and additional bonus content and to support the show click here: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdays   The show goes out every Sunday at noon to youtube and audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram!   Come join in on the LONG DAY Follow Yannis Pappas   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Good afternoon. Good to see you guys tomorrow. I'm hoping you're having a good next year. Tomorrow is going to be amazing and welcome to tomorrow with today's and tomorrow's news. We have a shooting in Wisconsin, shooting in Austin. Jake Paul finally fought somebody who was also in the prime of their career, both boxing at the top of their prime. Pete Davidson walked around. Snoop Doggy Dogg smoked a blunt. I'm pretty sure that Oscar De La Hoya
Starting point is 00:00:37 has a cocaine problem and is going back to fight to pay for his cocaine problem. He also looks blown out. He almost looks blown out like the Mayor Tom Ford of Toronto. So there's a possibility he's smoking crack. But without a doubt,
Starting point is 00:00:49 he was wearing fishnet stockings underneath his suit because the kid likes to dress up in pumps and put on his boxing gloves and get pegged. It's what happens when you're one of the greatest boxers to have a look with a handsome face. John Stamos may or may not be in the chat.
Starting point is 00:01:04 He's got a new Disney show coming up. Also, Kristen Semino from Arizona posted something where she said, fuck you in a ring. Democrats are expanding the court. Are they fascist? Are they not? Or is Trump fascist? We're all fascists. We're all Nazis. Black Lives Matter. Respect Asian lives. Don't respect white people. Blood clots everywhere. In your ass. In your mouth. Blood clots. Penises have blood clots. Bagels cause blood clots. There's blood clots in pizza. Don't eat Papa John's. He's racist. Also, McDonald's supposedly hates gay people. All this week. Also, remember, Jake Paul's robot, not a robot. It's a person in there. And that person is an undocumented worker who needs a minimum wage. What's up Dollars, welcome to another episode of Long Days with Giannis Pappas. We have the live chat going here on Instagram. If you have not signed up for patreon.com slash Gianni Long Days,
Starting point is 00:02:33 patreon.com slash Gianni Long Days, then I am not quite sure what you're spending your money on. Because listen, you're not paying for Netflix, okay? Because we're all sharing Justin Bieber's account. Why doesn't a celebrity, if they care about the people so much, okay? Instead of tweeting something with a hashtag, why don't you do something nice for the people? And here's what you do, Mark Ruffalo, Justin Bieber, I'm talking to you, okay? Head of Black Lives Matter that has $15 million homes. I would look the other way at your 15, $14 million homes
Starting point is 00:03:08 if you just tweeted your Netflix password. Give everyone your Netflix password and then we will save $15 a month, okay? You're against the minimum wage being raised $15, okay? Kristen Semina, Democrat, age 44 from Arizona, you are causing a fucking rift between the progressives
Starting point is 00:03:31 and the old school Democrats. Right? It's like a fight. There's gonna be a new, there'll be a new, what was that movie? The Jets. The Jets. There'll be a new West Side Story, but it'll be between AOCs, progressives, and the squad, and then Kristen Seminer, the Jets.
Starting point is 00:03:48 We don't want to do minimum wage at $15. And then AOC will start singing in Spanish. I like to live in America. Everything's nice in America. I would like to bring communism to America. Che Guevara to America. A lot of pogroms to America. Let's put everybody in a political dissident camp in America.
Starting point is 00:04:08 Let's do a rich education camp in America. Take off the heads of the rich people in America. And Christine goes, no, no, no. I'm the USA, Arizona, playing golf. My husband's got chewing tobacco in his mouth. And he's trying to quit, so he switched to snooze. Everyone lives in America. So instead of arguing about the minimum wage, the $15, why not just save us money by sharing your Netflix password, your HBO Max, your fucking Hulu and whatever. Because if these companies aren't going to crack down, can we at least install socialism for our streaming services?
Starting point is 00:04:51 Okay? That'll solve the problem. I mean, how much will that save you? And then you'll be free to pay for my Patreon. That's the point. Justin Bieber, you can support independent artists by please sharing your info. Now here's what his info is going to be.
Starting point is 00:05:10 His info is going to be, his username is going to be, his username is going to be peg me with a strap on. And his password is going to be, do you think I've taken enough testosterone to trick people into thinking that I was born a boy? I mean, how hot a chick is he almost? I mean, without the mustache, if that kid decided to go trans, I am definitely letting him peg me. I mean, let's just get weird.
Starting point is 00:05:43 Twenty, twenty one sex. I mean, the kid looks like a girl. He looks like a girl. He's a little bit of a squeak and he's just got one of those bodies that looks like he's pumped full of testosterone. But if you pull down his pants, what you're going to see is a camel hoof. The kid's got a hoof. You ever notice notice how come you never see you you ever notice how the paparazzi has done all these photos um of him at the beach as if those weren't set up as if those weren't dirk digler set up where he had a rubber huge cock that he was holding there in front of his hoof kid's got a hoof he's a trans he's a woman that they made that's why he can sing you know
Starting point is 00:06:23 badass bitch that's a girl singing. It's not a eunuch. You don't need to do eunuchs anymore. All you got to do is have girls take testosterone. Boom. You've created a pop star icon. Justin Bieber is a girl. Born a girl.
Starting point is 00:06:38 He's a trans man. Okay. Justin Timberlake was made in a petri dish in the Mickey Mouse Club, okay, he was, they took Madonna's DNA, and they mixed it with all three brothers from the GBs, the BGs, and they made that fucking kid, okay, you ever notice, have you ever seen Justin Bieber's dad, okay, have you ever met Shaquille O'Neal's dad, oh, Phil is my father, I don't have a real dad. Shaq, LeBron's dad. Where is he? You think the Russians were creating super athletes. You think we have the ability right now to clone people, but we, the greedy corporate interest did not say, hey, let's create an Uber
Starting point is 00:07:18 basketball player that will make us millions of dollars and be the face of the NBA and never get hurt at 6'8 running like a deer how are you 6'8 built like car malone running like carl lewis while carl lewis was on steroids as it found out later remember ben johnson the canadian kid he was built like fucking xavier mcdaniel there was a whole era in american sports that is just steroids these guys guys were made in, they were made in the lab by the American government. That's why Justin Bieber doesn't have a dad, right? They say he, Christina Aguilera, who's her dad, right? A Puerto Rican girl who was born in Pennsylvania. Has that ever happened? You're either from Springfield, Massachusetts, Orlando, or New York City, or San Juan. There's no fucking Puerto Ricans in Amish town who can sing like fucking Mariah Carey.
Starting point is 00:08:11 Fuck the wreath of Franklin. And she's five foot three. I'm a genie in a bottle, baby. Nah, bitch, you're a fucking girl from a Petri dish. Britney Spears, people are going, she's losing her mind. No, she's an AI bot that's breaking down. She was only programmed to be sexy from 14 to 28, okay? She was there to tickle the pedophile fantasies
Starting point is 00:08:35 of horrible people in this country when she was fucking prancing around at 14 in a Catholic school dress, hiked up, right? By the way, is there anything safer than being a girl in Catholic school? I mean, you're safer statistically than being on a plane. You're not going to get touched. I mean, those girls, those Catholic school dresses that are the fantasies of most men are supposed to go down to the ankles. Drew knows this. He went to Catholic school, right? Jesse, you're a Jew, so you killed Jesus. You're not even allowed in the building,
Starting point is 00:09:08 but you're half Catholic too. So I mean, you killed yourself. I like the outfits. Yeah. So the outfits, the girls hike them up, which is hilarious because girls always claim that we objectify them. But when they are given their own free will to do what they will, They are given their own free will to do what they will. And we throw a very modest outfit on them. What girls do, what a lot of people don't know, is those girls roll those up, right?
Starting point is 00:09:36 So those dresses, Catholic school dresses are supposed to go. First girl that jerked me off on a rock, Catholic school. She went to St. Saviour's. We'll talk about it. It took me, you know, I was 13. It took me three hours and 45 minutes to come. It was basically, I listened to a whole Joe Rogan episode. And I couldn't come because at that point I was jerking off myself. So there's no way she was going to do it better.
Starting point is 00:09:52 Remember your first hand job where you just go, you know what, let me top her off myself. You know, thanks for getting me to here, but I'm going to have to take it across the line. It's like what you got to do is you got to get that fucking fullback. When you get jerked off in your teens, okay, she's like a good quarterback, good pocket quarterback, like a Tom Brady or even, or even, let's say, God, I got Alzheimer's. Eli Manning, good pocket quarterback, drive you down the field. But then when you get to the two, three yard line, you're just going to need a full, a nice stocky fullback to run it in. And that's what a girl jerking you off when you're a teenager is. She gets you all the way down to
Starting point is 00:10:28 the red zone. Then you're like, baby, let me take it from here. And your hand is the fullback you call in to finish it off because nobody does it better than you. And when you're a teen, God, do you jerk off a lot? Anyway, what was I talking about? So yeah, when given their own free will, women make themselves into sexual objects. There's no men out there going like, you know what, sweetie, what you're going to need to do is put some silicone plastic fake tits behind your tits. They don't care. We don't care. What guy cares about what the titties are? Nobody, nobody cares. Guys like women, we don't care. Whatever you present, we're going to do. But you guys compete with each other each other you go if i can get one up on that bitch by having good fake tits i'll do it and
Starting point is 00:11:07 then it starts like a it's like steroids it's like with one guy starts doing steroids the other guys didn't set out to do steroids they just start doing steroids to compete with the first guy who did so there was some fucking whore in miami every episode i'm gonna shit on that state one fucking whore in Miami decided you know what I'm a full-time fucking uh full-time trophy wife and my husband's starting to sway I'm getting some work done and boom she got some titties and sat some perky's and then and then her daughter was born with fake tits and passed those down she became a porn star and and then everyone had to get fake tits to compete with her
Starting point is 00:11:45 so given the opportunity women you will make whores out of yourselves that's what i'm saying because those catholic school dresses are supposed to go down to the knees when they buy them at the store from a disinterested nun who hits them with a ruler yeah because you know what the priests don't show up for the women's school like Like, hey, just fucking take those girls into the, you guys go read with these fat nuns who are dressed like stormtroopers. Yeah, just go, yeah. You know what?
Starting point is 00:12:13 Nuns are dressed like the guys who are doing puppets. You know, they're wearing all black, so they blend in with the dark. That's what nuns look like. Yeah, so those women who are dressed like puppet masters, go fucking read cartoons with them while we concentrate on these luscious boys. you guys want to go get ice cream in my basement or in the back seat of my car okay so who's safer who is safer who is safer
Starting point is 00:12:39 yeah so women roll them up they roll roll them up themselves, did you guys know that, they're not supposed to be there, they get rolled up, if you, you know, and some girls like just cut the tops, and they do it themselves, so here we go, Britney Spears was not programmed to be able to dance or speak after 28, that's why she just twirls, she's a robot that's broken, so if you go to Instagram, she's just twirling around, Jessie's showing to you right now, you're seeing it, because this is what we're doing we have a high production fucking podcast so if you're listening to this you don't see it but you can imagine it because you follow on instagram people go no she's spinning out of control no she's literally
Starting point is 00:13:16 her battery is dying so she's just spinning and showing the same photo because she was not programmed to go past a certain age. She was supposed to be a hot teen. And this is it. Every video is her doing this. People go, she's losing her mind. Oh my God, free Britney. So you can't free Britney, dog. You have to plug her back in.
Starting point is 00:13:38 She lit her house on fire too. Yeah, she's an AI bot that's fucking downing. She's sundowning. So that's all there is. Yeah yeah every video is her twirling so tesla this is a great story that i love um so two guys died in a tesla's a big story right so everyone's trying to get on tesla and that this is how stupid people are now and the news oh the news can, the news can't make a bigger deal. If you rise up right now, if you rise up and achieve something, there is a whole market to bring you down. I've talked about this on the podcast. It's very important to cause chaos because it's a whole
Starting point is 00:14:20 market in destruction now because we don't make anything in America now. So the thing we do best now is destroy. We used to create and now that's being done overseas. So now the main anchor of the American empire and our economy is destruction. There are actually factories of destruction the way there used to be steel factories in Pittsburgh now there's factories of destruction they just look a little different it's a bunch of effeminate effeminate looking guys and masculine looking girls sitting in a room somewhere in the village uh it's funded by Ariana Huffington and they sit there and they go, hey, is this a co-friendly? What are we doing? Elon Musk. Did he tweet something that can be conceived as something that was against any
Starting point is 00:15:11 people? Is he protecting Asian lives at his factory? What are we doing? Who can we destroy? Can I get a fucking kombucha? Where's my kombucha? I need a kombucha and I got to go to Van Wilden and get a vegan ice cream. I need a fucking vegan ice cream. I'm told it's better for the environment. It's better. Let's put Haagen-Dazs in. That's what we, we don't create anymore.
Starting point is 00:15:39 We destroy. That's what we do. We're in the business of destruction. So one Tesla. Oh God. Some, what we do. We're in the business of destruction. So, one Tesla. Oh, God. Some, what was it, Jesse? Two guys in a Tesla? Two guys in a Tesla.
Starting point is 00:15:51 Yeah, so they decided to put the autopilot on and try to drive from the back seat, right? So, they basically rigged the steering wheel. Am I getting this correct? Because we got the shooting shit incorrect last time. So, we were early on that. We were too early. Apparently the kid was running with a gun, was shooting. They got called because there was a shooter.
Starting point is 00:16:12 And then he ditches the gun behind the fence and then turns around quickly. A dumb 13-year-old thing to do. I mean, do we expect these cops to be super people? They're running after him. The guy's got a gun. He's already shot it. And then he goes to a fence, ditches it so they can't see it, and turns around quickly. I mean, what are you going to do?
Starting point is 00:16:32 Are you going to go, hands up? Dr. Johns, we've been expecting you. Yeah, freeze. And then are you going to be ready to matrix out of the way if he does shoot at you? I mean, you know how fast bullets travel? I don't care if you're a squirrel mean you know fast bullet trouble i don't care if you're a squirrel on pcp and cocaine you don't have enough time to react if someone points a gun at you you're gone that's how fast the bullet travels so that's a split second decision
Starting point is 00:16:54 you know should he have shot him no but is he human yes did he intend to shoot him was it unjustified not exactly the whole thing happened in like eight it happened in like eight tenth of a fucking second that he made that decision. It's like, don't fucking run from the cops with a gun in your hand. Don't do crime.
Starting point is 00:17:11 But also, cops don't shoot people. So can we put the, can we just have robots do cops? Yeah. Can we just fucking put these guys in RoboCop suits? I don't know.
Starting point is 00:17:20 Put everyone in a RoboCop suit. Can we, the fashion, you know what fashion will be? We like to shoot so much. Two fucking shootings today. One in Wisconsin, yesterday Austin. Here's what we got to do.
Starting point is 00:17:31 New fashion line. Are you listening to me, Tommy Hilfiger? You need to come back, okay? Your shit got hot, and then it got hot with hip hop. Grand Puba was wearing it. He got too fat. I'm sure he's got diabetes. Started, it was a horrible role model for rugbies after that.
Starting point is 00:17:46 Okay? It's brand new. You know what I'm saying? Grand Pupa just got fat. And nobody quite looked good wearing Tommy Hilfiger anymore. And then the next thing you know, it's one of the most popular brands
Starting point is 00:17:56 at Marshalls to get for $14. That and Polo. I mean, those two brands really fucking bit the dust. Here's what you do to make your comeback, Tommy Hilfiger. Your new line, America chic gun control edition. So body armor, body armor shirts, okay? Do you remember the Knights used to wear fucking metal suits?
Starting point is 00:18:23 What about a cool fucking metal bodysuit? Also, you can do like full for the girls. So it's like Muslim. So it's like culturally appropriate. So it's over their head and everything like that. It's metal. So you're going like, and then assalamu alaikum. And you say something in the ad that makes it friendly.
Starting point is 00:18:40 And then for Jews, you go, l'chaim, whatever they say. Greeks, you just throw a lamb at the camera. And you can do it for every culture, but everyone's wearing body suits. That way, we can shoot as much as we want. How fun would that be if everyone was wearing Tommy Hilfiger? Tommy Hilfiger armor. And then we just went outside, and people could go on mass shootings, and nobody gets killed except when someone doesn't wear Tommy Hilfiger.
Starting point is 00:19:04 And then that's the commercial for Tommy Hilfiger. Wear Tommy Hilfiger or you will die. For the modern man in America. And then it's just you go outside and there's drones and shooting everywhere. Just Amazon drones flying everywhere. And people just shooting at each other and bullets ricocheting off their armor. And break dancers still fucking on the train yeah just fucking iron man dancing on the train six kids they come around with a steel hat and just go like that and then you pour your steel money into everything just sounds like clang clang
Starting point is 00:19:37 clang clang everything just sounds like you're buying gum in canada with loonies and toonies that's why crime is low in Canada because a criminal can't sneak up behind you he's got a fucking pocket full of toonies like he's a fucking wizard in the 13th century he's trying to trying to pay for a horse and he comes in with a satchel full of coins and just drops them on the fucking table and says can I have a horse please because everyone obviously spoke with a British accent even if you were French okay that's from the movies everyone spoke with a British accent even fucking Alexander the Great spoke with a British accent in the movies is it just me or do Yanni's eyes get closer and closer every day you gotta come stronger than that okay cozy-eyed Yanni's a good one there's
Starting point is 00:20:21 better ones Yanni's eyes look like they're in love and they're trying to you know they're soulmates come on come up with better ones it's been a while now if you're gonna come on one of those you gotta come correct chanda you're a greek god dog you're goddamn right i am and you know which one i am athena athena how great was the greek gods that they had a god who was hot that you wanted to fuck how great would that that be if Jesus was a hot chick, looked like Christie Brinkley or some shit? I'm dating myself. Who's Christie Brinkley? Still hot.
Starting point is 00:20:51 Still hot. Billy Joel, the balls on that little Long Island squeak Jew. To leave that Nordic goddess. Now he's dating like a 21-year-old. The guy's 80. He's a fucking icon. Long Island icon. Still lives out on the island, okay?
Starting point is 00:21:09 When I first met my father-in-law, he took me to his convertible and started blasting Billy Joel. It was the most Long Island moment whatsoever. I should have ran then. Where was I starting from this? I got sidetracked. Armor, huh?
Starting point is 00:21:23 Tesla. I mean, look at the balls on Billy Joel. And he, well, he updated. What are you gonna do? I got sidetracked. Armor, huh? Tesla. I mean, look at the balls on Billy Joel. And he, well, he updated. What are you going to do? He got the new iPhone. He was like, Christy Brinkley, Christy Brinkley, can you shoot photos in 4K? And she's like, no, my battery's low.
Starting point is 00:21:37 He's like, well, this 21 year old that looks like you is the iPhone 11. So this one's waterproof. I can bang this one underwater. How fun would it be to be Hitler and just like your hair
Starting point is 00:21:50 is moving and then you know when he does these he always says I start singing I start I turn your that voice
Starting point is 00:21:56 and then he just goes like this when he pauses and he pulls it all back. You know that movie does? He never does that though but he always does this one. That's his pause and he looks at his one. That's his pause, and he looks at his notes.
Starting point is 00:22:09 That's what I, you know. Stop calling me, dog. I'm in the middle of a podcast. It's spam from Illinois. Every time I pick it up, it's some recorded Chinese voice. Tesla. So what happened? They were in the backseat.
Starting point is 00:22:23 Great idea, though, right, about a Hilfiger armor? So they were in the back seat great idea though right about a hill figure hill figure armor so they were in the back seat they tried to rig it so the car would drive itself now of course the media is making you know all of a sudden they destroy tesla teslas aren't safe teslas aren't safe just like with the vaccine oh my god six women had blood clots. Turns out you have a better chance of getting a blood clot from the pill, from the birth control pill. It's like one in a thousand. So you have like exponentially bigger chance of getting a blood clot. This is six people out of 6.8 million already, only six six because you got a better chance of the history
Starting point is 00:23:07 hyenas getting back together than getting a fucking blood clot from a j and j shot especially if you got a dick and balls now i understand you guys understand i understand you go listen the the the vaccine just came out we don't know bill. Bill Gates, I don't trust him. Okay? He wants to follow me. As you know, he wants to crawl in my asshole and watch what I do all day. And he wants to make me a slave and a Microsoft slave. You understand? I'll clean his golf course and he'll eat me in his basement or whatever it is. I understand.
Starting point is 00:23:38 I understand it's not been a long. I understand we don't know everything that will happen from the vaccine. But what we do know is that COVID might kill you. And it will. And it will. And you're no scientist. Stop being so fucking skeptical. You're not important enough for anyone to want to conspire against you and kill you.
Starting point is 00:23:56 Nobody fucking cares. Nobody cares. Like Chaz Palminteri said, nobody cares about him after Bronx Tale. So he was right. Nobody cares about him after Bronx Tale. So he was right. Nobody cares. They cared about him for 10 seconds and now every time
Starting point is 00:24:09 they see him they just go up to him and they say, now you just can't leave. You know what I'm saying? He's basically fucking Webster. I mean, that guy couldn't get
Starting point is 00:24:21 another job after Webster. He's basically Charles from Charles in Charge. You get another job after Webster. He's basically Charles from Charles in Charge. You're not getting another fucking job. He's Richard Graco from 21 Jump Street. I'm just kidding. I love you, Charles Palma. I love you. But you are Screech of the movies. Anytime people say it, they just go, no, you just can't leave. I'm just kidding. It's the same. Every time people see me, they say, that's it it you know what i mean or they so it's like it's what happens it's just who you become because nobody cares about what you care about if you're lucky enough to have something hit it's got nothing to do with you and they don't want to hear more they just want you
Starting point is 00:24:55 to put the wig on and give you five docents nobody cares shout out to cameo shout out to cameo yeah go uh you can go hire me on Cameo. I'll give you a shout out for $100 and throw a wig on whatever. You know, that's the idea. Whatever, Mr. Panos, you know, whatever. I've made 13K on Cameo. So that really, you know, 2018,
Starting point is 00:25:16 that really brought in some dollars that I needed. So these kids were in the backseat. Of course, the media is making this big thing about it, just like they made a big thing about the six people who died of blood clots. It just shows you how circumspect the first world is still, thank God, that even with six blood clots, rare blood clots, very rare,
Starting point is 00:25:38 they stopped the production, they wanna study it, even though it's really not of a threat. And what I was saying is, it's much worse the potential to get COVID. Now, if you decide you don't want the vaccine, that should be on you, okay? But you should not be allowed in the hospital. You should not be allowed in the hospital.
Starting point is 00:25:54 If you get it and have to go to the hospital, they should be like, sorry, get yourself a midwife. Get yourself a midwife who comes to your room and gives birth. Leave me the fuck alone and gives birth to you. You shouldn't be allowed in the hospital.
Starting point is 00:26:09 That should be the deal. You take the vaccine or if not, you're on your own. The medical community will not treat you for a COVID-related shit. Fair deal. Because everyone shouldn't get it if they don't want it. You should be free to get it or not. But you can't burden us with that. Because the data's out.
Starting point is 00:26:22 It's a dangerous and unpredictable thing. You're probably going to live. Almost everyone does. But this shit is Russian roulette, Zoggy, just like comment roulette. You feel the same way about the flu shot? Yes. I get the flu shot. If you don't want it, don't.
Starting point is 00:26:36 People die from the flu. But do you people know how to do math? Do you? It's not the flu. It's not the flu. Nobody wants the global economy shut down this isn't just happening in America this wasn't just a fucking plot
Starting point is 00:26:49 to stop Abercrombie and Fitch from opening up it's a fucking pandemic now whether it came from a lab, probably but it's a global pandemic it's happened before you're not the first people on the planet we had two of them recently, the bird flu, the swine flu they just weren't as contagious.
Starting point is 00:27:06 What makes this dangerous, it's not as deadly as those viruses, but it's more transmissible than any virus we've ever seen. I mean, fucking you walk in and say hello to somebody, you could get that shit. So it's the transmissibility of it that makes it so dangerous. You know, the swine flu, all that shit would definitely kill you, but you weren't contagious until you were bleeding out of your eyeballs. This, you can have no symptoms and give it to people and kill them. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, you know, guys, Spanish flu, the plague, this shit happens, dog. We're not that important. I know the internet makes you
Starting point is 00:27:37 think you're forever, but it's not. One day your YouTube videos will be demonetized. will be demonetized. They're all stored on some fucking supercomputer, okay? In Modesta, California. And underneath it, it is absolutely fueled by a bunch of child slaves who are pumping their adrenochrome into the computers, okay? Silicon Valley is being fueled by children's blood fueled by adrenaline
Starting point is 00:28:06 it's called adrenochrome okay Alex Jones I told you here first now look it's not the flu Sky the flu doesn't just do the math
Starting point is 00:28:16 on the percentage of people that die from COVID and from the flu it's a lot different it's much much much higher so much much much much higher. So much, much, much, much higher, not even close. So, but it's your right to not, not to get it. It's your right, but it's all, but also it is
Starting point is 00:28:34 not your right to go to the hospital if you do. Isn't that fair? That's a fair trade-off, right? Like if you refuse the vaccine and you say, I don't want it. And then they're like, all right, dude, look, if you get this, you could end up at the hospital. And then you go, you know what? I waive my right that if I am sick via COVID, if I'm COVID positive, I'm sick, I will not go to the hospital. And you can put me on a cruise ship and send me out to the Bermuda Triangle. Free country. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:01 It's a free country. But also, you're not free to fuck up my shit. Free country. Yeah. It's a free country, but also you're not free to fuck up my shit. If I need to go to the hospital because I want to get a sex change, I don't want them to be too busy
Starting point is 00:29:09 because you got the sniffles and your lungs are failing because you didn't want to get COVID because you thought Hillary Clinton was going to call on your asshole. All right? I'm a fucking libtard. I'm a libtard, guys.
Starting point is 00:29:26 Everything I just said is true. Whether you like it or not, it's true. It's what you call an objective reality. There's no agenda there. It's just true. I'm not a Democrat. I'm not a Republican. I'm a comedian.
Starting point is 00:29:37 But what I just said is true, okay? You almost definitely will live from it, okay? But you're rolling the dice. People are dying from it. It's a dangerous thing. They don't know the long-term effects. If you don't want the vaccine, then you can't go to the hospital.
Starting point is 00:29:54 So these fucking kids, if you don't want your vaccine, can you send it to Canada so I can leave my house? Yeah, I mean, Canada just, can we conquer you? I'm just annoyed with Canada. You know what? You know what, Canada, just, can we conquer you? I'm just annoyed with Canada. You know what? You know what?
Starting point is 00:30:06 Canada's like, Canada's like Tiffany Haddish. You just fucking annoy me. I mean, I love to go. Something about her just fucking annoys me. She's always just fucking on and shit. Take a break. Don't you have some existentialist Henri? Can I see a real feeling?
Starting point is 00:30:24 Does anyone have a real, Kevin Hart, can you tell me how you really feel for one second, or is your whole life brought to you by Budweiser, can someone tell me how they really feel, or is every fucking artist and comedian paid for by Mountain Dew, I mean, do you remember the day when actors wouldn't do commercials? You were looked at as like it was anathema. Remember when people knew what the word anathema meant? I mean, do you remember when people used to hide? They had some shame.
Starting point is 00:30:55 Do you remember when directors had shame that they were directing a fucking Welch grape soda commercial? And they would lie about it and hide it? When Spike Lee wouldn't fucking. And next thing you know, now there's fucking no shame in it. Now there's no Leonardo DiCaprio, you know, um, uh, yeah, support the fucking support the environment and wear a tag watch while I bang this coterie of 16 year old models that all sign NDAs and have their parents co-sign them while I pay them off a thousand each so I could drink their adrenochrome. I mean, what happened to artists, dude? Patreon could bring
Starting point is 00:31:34 that back. The independent artists could bring that back where you don't have to rely on anything besides blue chew. You'll rely on Blue Chew and Helix Mattress, which I'm expecting you guys to come knocking soon because my numbers are getting good. And if McDonald's comes a knocking, hey, here's my fucking show building things. Yeah, TikTokers live in SoCal. No, TikTokers live in hell.
Starting point is 00:31:59 That's where they are. It looks like SoCal, but the devil's already fucking licking his chops and can't wait for the D'Amelio Sistis to show up at his fucking gates. They're gonna dance their way straight to the center of hell. You're going to hell, D'Amelio.
Starting point is 00:32:14 You're 15, you're dancing in giant rate and you're going to hell, mama. You little whore. It would be great to be a Baptist preacher and just say the word whore. We got a whore in here. The devil. The devil. No cell phone service in Canada. Yeah. No cell phone service in Canada. And you can't get famous in Canada. There's got to be one place like America where it's sink or fucking swim. You know what I'm talking about? Where you can become a gazillionaire and lead Black Lives
Starting point is 00:32:51 Matter and buy $4 million properties. Or you can advocate for people who are poor and ask them to donate to you so you can get $4 million properties. There's got to be a country where you could pull off a grift that big. In Canada, you just can't because there's too many organizations looking into it. Your money's being redistributed too much to everybody. You ever see a ghetto in Canada? It looks like co-ops in Manhattan. They look like million dollar apartments on the Lower East Side. Yeah, you turn on the news in Canada, they're like, oh yeah, so there's a truck that pulled over and it's blocking lane four. Also, somebody's missing some maple syrup.
Starting point is 00:33:32 My maple syrup's missing. Tickle fight with Jake Paul. Jake Paul, sign the fucking contract, dog. Let's see what you got. I'll box you. I'll box you. I'll box you with my tickles. Tickle, tickle, son. Sign the fucking contract.
Starting point is 00:33:52 I'll even do you and your brother Logan Paul. Jake and Logan versus me. Tickle fight, son. What? No parts off limit. Tickle dicks, balls, ass, all that, son. You know what I'm saying? So the Tesla kids died in the back. Now,
Starting point is 00:34:06 they tried to rig the car so they can sit in the back while they drive, right? So here's the deal. This is not a funeral. This is a celebration. When two people die like this, you have to celebrate. This should be an open funeral. I don't care what the family feels like. It should be an open funeral where society can come through to the public, open to the public, and you can go and start a slow Rudy clap as you pass their caskets and go, you know what? Thank God for thinning the herd. Thank you. Two less. You deserve to die. I'm saying that with no hesitation. No hesitation. If you try to rig the car to drive itself while you sleep in the backseat,
Starting point is 00:34:49 is that what happened? Give me the facts. I'm a comedy show. I don't care if I get it right. Let's just say that happened. You deserve to go meet Jesus Christ. They weren't sleeping. They were just trying to rig it
Starting point is 00:35:04 and like doing it for fun. And they weren't in the front driver's seat. What can you do? It sounds like Drew was chasing some pedophiles with his show and made them do push-ups on the floor. I need to kiss them. Yeah. Drew does camera work for a pedophile show on YouTube.
Starting point is 00:35:17 What's the channel? Predator Catchers Alliance. Predators? Predator? Predator Catchers Alliance. Predator Catchers Alliance Predator Catchers Alliance Go check them out The guy screams at them
Starting point is 00:35:27 And then he makes them do pushups Which I think is great And then he just goes What were you thinking dog? My guy? Yeah What were you thinking my guy? He's like
Starting point is 00:35:36 I want one of the guys to be like I was thinking about fucking a child He's like he knows what I'm thinking Why is he asking what are they thinking? Call the cops You know what he was thinking guy He was thinking about doing some dirty shit to a child and i don't think push-ups are gonna cure him i know peter push-ups gonna get his chest a little more formed but he's definitely gonna go back on yahoo chat uh we make we make them call their uh wife
Starting point is 00:35:59 yeah you make them call their parents which is good i like that or their wife or whatever and that's a weird call hey what's up i saw one of them it was like this hispanic hey hello yeah no i was going to baby i'm sorry i was i was going to i was yeah i was going to pick up a child i met i was going to have sex with him i'm very sorry also i'm going to get the milk i'll pick up the milk on the way oh my promise that's so accurate yeah because the wife's going what i thought you was out to pick up me. Yeah, also to fuck a child. But also was going to pick up the milk as well. Go check out his channel because that's what happens.
Starting point is 00:36:32 Then he goes, give me push-ups, dog. And he makes him do push-ups. It sounds good. Like a drill sergeant. Which is really funny. That's Pedophile... What's it called? Predator Catchers Alliance.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Predator Catchers Alliance. Predator Catchers Alliance. Predators Catchers Alliance. Go check it out. It gets lots of views, of course. Why am I doing comedy? Because why are we not on the street trying to catch predators? We could do it.
Starting point is 00:36:53 We should do it. I mean, that's where the views are. Or can I box a woman? I mean, what are we doing here? I mean, Jake Paul's fucking special was a fucking calamity. It was Pete Davidson walking around. There was a robot dancing. It's not a real robot. It's some fucking guy was a fucking calamity. It was Pete Davidson walking around. There was a robot dancing.
Starting point is 00:37:06 It's not a real robot. It's some fucking guy in a suit walking around. Then Jake Paul comes and knocks out this fucking, the guy looked like my dad, like right before my dad, rest in peace, passed away. I mean, the guy, he just had hip surgery. He's a wrestler. He never boxed.
Starting point is 00:37:22 And he goes in there and he gets knocked out, of course. And it generates something like $36 million. It's an absolute fucking circus. And the only thing that it taught me was I'm not ever, ever paying for one of those things again unless they schedule one. And then I will be there to watch Logan Paul fight Steven Spielberg any fucking day. Yeah, I mean, until Jake Paul fights someone who's actually a boxer, you're not a boxer. That's what I'm saying.
Starting point is 00:37:48 Yeah. Until you fight someone who actually boxes. All right. You fought Nate Robinson and, uh, you know, what's his name? Brent,
Starting point is 00:37:56 Brent Estrin or whatever. Ben Askren. Ben Askren, who's a, was a retired MMA guy who obviously was a grappler, probably the worst striker, whoever, that was a champion. I box better than Ben Affleck. Yeah, I mean, he doesn't know how to box.
Starting point is 00:38:09 He didn't learn it. He was a wrestler, and he was a good one. He would grab a hold of you and whatnot. $75 million. It grossed $75 million? It says right here. Yeah, I mean, our standard for artistry is gone. I mean, I don't think people would know what's good
Starting point is 00:38:29 if they were told this is what's good by Drake himself. No, but maybe that is the new good. Am I just an old, confused, am I like that old person going, turn down that music? Instead of saying, turn down the music, I'm like, shut off Pete Davidson smoking with Snoop and interviewing a coked up Oscar de la Hoya while a YouTube star boxes a retired hip broken wrestler.
Starting point is 00:38:59 And before that, there was a slap fight that was refereed by the Nature Boy. And the Charli D'Amelio sisters were in the ring handing the fake pretend belts to boxers who I'd never heard of. Why are the D'Amelio sisters, who were children, awake at that hour? Where are your parents? Circus. It's a circus, man. It's a circus.
Starting point is 00:39:25 He was knocked out faster with a flying knee from Masvidal. Yeah, Masvidal got him. You would make a great old Jewish man. I think I kind of am one. Internet circus show. Yeah, everything's become sort of an internet circus show, which has plenty of positives and also negatives. There's always a yin and a yang, you know? there's always a yin and a yang you
Starting point is 00:39:45 know there's always a yin and a yang i mean you don't get the tim dylan show without the internet jake paul is a very entertaining guy and he's a decent boxer so maybe this is a new type of thing where guys can download information so quick now maybe we don't know that you can be like a comedian slash boxer slash Chinese spy slash actor slash, you know, TikTok dancer. Maybe you can download information. Like think about in order to learn how to edit, you had to go to school to edit back then. Now you watch a YouTube video and you're an editor. So maybe these kids are a new generation that we don't understand. And because when we grew up, you had to pick one thing because it took long to get good. Or maybe they just don't care about getting good and it's all bullshit. And that's why he's selectively chosen non-boxers to beat up, to make 76 because it's all marketing. I'm going to suspect
Starting point is 00:40:35 that one, but I don't know. So the India has opened up the vaccine to everyone in India. The India has opened up the vaccine to everyone in India. So that will take approximately 345 years to vaccinate 5 billion Indians. Yes. And I also posted happy birthday to my mother-in-law. I posted on Instagram happy birthday to her. It was a big birthday. My mother-in-law. I posted on Instagram, happy birthday to her. It was a big birthday. My mother-in-law's the best.
Starting point is 00:41:08 I had to turn the comments off because my mother-in-law is what you call a good-looking woman. And the fans, the hyena fans and comedy fans, my fans, not the classiest
Starting point is 00:41:19 with their comments. There was a lot of forums and could go deep and she's a puh-puh-puh piece. Everyone was taking out the peace guns. I can tell you this, there was more guns out in those comments than at an NRA meeting.
Starting point is 00:41:33 I mean, it was fucking peace guns everywhere for her. So I had to shut off the comments. Also, Bagel Boy, I want to tell you right now, I got a bagel this morning, okay? I got a fucking day-old bagel. I knew it wasn't a fresh bagel. You I want to tell you right now, I got a bagel this morning, okay? I got a fucking day old bagel. I knew it wasn't a fresh bagel.
Starting point is 00:41:47 You see this fucking face. You see this face, you give me a fresh fucking bagel. I'm a lifetime Brooklyn kid. I know what a fucking fresh bagel tastes like, and I know what a fucking day old bagel tastes like. And at my age, a fucking day old bagel ruins my day. When I was 17, I would eat it and go, that was a good bagel, even if I got diarrhea. I wouldn't care because it tasted good going down. I am no longer a 17-year-old boy. I need a fucking freshly made morning bagel. Don't fuck with me, dude. And I'm
Starting point is 00:42:19 serious. As soon as I took a bite, I know the texture of a fresh bagel and a day-old bagel. And don't try to fucking cover it up because what happens is what they try to do, and this is a little New York secret for you dumb tourists when you come back, okay? What they'll try to do with a day-old bagel is if you say toasted, they may try to get rid of the day-old bagel because they try to mask it with the toast because it's a little harder when you toast it. Not me, fucker. I know. A day-old bagel is hard everywhere and a little drier in the center. If you toast it a fresh bagel, crunchy on the outside, mushy on the inside. You fuck. Don't you try that shit again, bagel boy. I love you to death. You're
Starting point is 00:43:00 my favorite bagel spot. So I'm not trying to throw i'm not trying to fucking i'm not trying to throw hate or what would you say what is it i'm not a stan or whatever what's your generation say you're not hating on them i'm not hating on them i got you i'm dead ass i'm not trying any of that shit i'm just putting you on fucking notice i'm putting you on fucking notice that tell your whole fucking staff whether they speak english or not to look at this fucking face and if it walks in there to get a fucking bagel onion only and if you don't have onion i go garlic if you don't have garlic i'm calling the police because don't you fucking hand me a poppy seed i don't know what kind of sociopaths get poppy seeds and i don't want an everything bagel i don't want fucking
Starting point is 00:43:38 salt on my bagel i want onion second fucking string is garlic and if you don't got garlic, NYPD's coming to shut you fucking down. I'm going to say there's rats everywhere and we're going to have the fucking city shut you down. So I'm not putting, I'm just putting you on notice. Tell your staff, I get in there, I want a fresh fucking bagel. You cocksucker. So here's the important stuff. I will be at the Celebrity Theater in Atlantic City, May 7th and 8th, get your tickets at yannispapascomedy.com, I'm gonna be doing everything
Starting point is 00:44:15 you love, brother, that's right, so get those fucking tickets, see me May 7th and 8th, Atlantic City, Celebrity Theater, It is going to be amazing. And now I would like to say thank you to all the newest members. Can we bring all the Patreon names here? Of our Patreon who have joined patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays. Boy, do we have a good time back there. Why you look so good? Because I'm a hottie.
Starting point is 00:44:45 I look so good because John Stamos isn't around. That's why you can't hang out with John Stamos, okay? When I hang out with John Stamos, I look like Jonah Hill. And when I hang out with somebody else who looks like Jonah Hill, I look like John Stamos. So right now, I look like John Stamos. So right now, I look like John Stamos because there is no John Stamos. I'm like a third string Greek. I'm the guy you bring in when you can't get John Stamos or Bob Costas. All right, I'm starting from Hey Chrissy. Yep. And going up? Going up. Okay. Welcome to our new long haulers.
Starting point is 00:45:26 I'm talking about we are here for the long haul. This ain't never going to stop. Maurice, that's right here. Does Patreon link up to the Apple podcast? Who cares, cuz? You can listen to the podcast on Apple, and then you can go to Patreon and listen to bonus episodes. Who are these people who are like,
Starting point is 00:45:43 you have to get on Stitcher. I'm not who are like, you have to get on Stitcher. I'm not getting on your, you have to get on AOL. Go to iTunes or Spotify and listen to the fucking podcast. Or go to YouTube and watch it. I'm not going on Stitcher and Bitcher and SoundCloud and YouWho Podcasts and your mama's podcast and Jay-Z. And I'm not getting on Jay-Z's wave. What's his network called again?
Starting point is 00:46:06 Title. Title that didn't work out. I'm not going on all that. Are you and Chrissy not hyenas anymore? We are not, but we're both still hyenas. We're just not the history hyenas. Yahoo. I'm not going on Yahoo Messenger.
Starting point is 00:46:19 So welcome. Hey, Chrissy D and Yanni P. It's Father B. That's a little spillover Very funny Lazy stoner with a big fat boner Welcome Andrew Kyle D
Starting point is 00:46:32 Alisa M.O. Hi are you going to Hamptons this year Alisa? If there's a girl named Alisa There is multiple choice 87% 57% Or 99% chance she's spending her summer listening to Girls Gotta Eat in the Hamptons, the hyenas are history, that's a good way to put it, roulette chat, I look down,
Starting point is 00:46:56 I read whatever's there, okay, Paula Abdullah M. Blagada, Mehete III. I think he almost did that intentionally to make it hard to read to show that I'm a Franks and Beans kind of child. Then we got Major Kusinagi. Welcome. Evan Douglas. Josh Mazel. Then we got Porterhouse Hunley. Then we got Fumes of Godden.
Starting point is 00:47:28 Fumes of Geddon. That's a good one. Hall of Famer. You guys pick the best one and put them in the comments. Jake Knighton. Welcome, Jake. BJ Olberndorfer. BJ Olberndorfer. What the fuck? Can't you just be BJ O? Jesus Christ. Rogies. Yeah, I'm gonna see, I'm having dinner with rogies when I go to Austin. The nickname rogies is sticking. Did I do that on the Patreon?
Starting point is 00:47:58 Or, yeah, on the Patreon I was calling them rogies. Rogies is gonna stick. I said rogies, you know, you can kick me in the chest whatever enrique ff favela that's a good one frankly on beans welcome liam parides is that he's like an irish greek kid daniel dehart black panda 317. Jen. Welcome, Jen. Girl's got to eat. Dane Miokovic. I mean, cuz, don't you got to be in the fucking Monte Carlo for the French Open?
Starting point is 00:48:32 Peter Panagopoulos. Peter Panagopoulos. Peter Panagopoulos. Even I can't pronounce Greek names. Drew Films is in the chat while he's driving. There you go, Drew. Even I can't pronounce Greek names. Drew Films is in the chat while he's driving. While he's driving. There you go, Drew. We're besties with testies.
Starting point is 00:48:49 Don't test these besties. How do you spell rogues? R-O-G-G-I-E-S, I think. Let me ask you something. Okay, so now I go to page two because we're going down, right? That's right. Lost the dollars. Okay.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Welcome to the long haulers over at patreon.com slash Yanni. Long days. I told you guys it wasn't my fault. I couldn't read. True Rambler's in there. Welcome, True Rambler. Here we go. Straight to the back of Kamala's half-black crack
Starting point is 00:49:25 because she's a fumeless fucking piece, but make no mistake, I still like men. Welcome. Seth, not Simons, but you better believe I'm still an FF. Welcome. Nick, gonna clean out a bag of Blizzy with Sergio's snakes. Young. Lindsay, Lindsay T. Strank. Bag of Blizzy with Sergio Snakes. Young. Lindsey.
Starting point is 00:49:46 Lindsey T. Strength. I'm going to meet the Hamptons, Lindsey. Matt Jeff Essex. AOC's Labia Minora. Kamala has fumes. Asking for a friend. Rudy Giuliani's Fumare piece makes yanni peas punani bleed
Starting point is 00:50:05 rolando segovia amir yes or yeski robert pontius robert on net ass jackson robert schtick vernon koresh that's pretty funny david koresh or maybe his last name is just Koresh. Maybe he's related to David Koresh. He's just got to go through life. And every time people hear his name, they have to stop and talk about David Koresh. That's weird.
Starting point is 00:50:34 I would just change my whole fucking name. Corey Reinhardt. Reed Broom. Sammy the Sandy, the Randy musad of punani besos gates and musk are mass producing robot babies ladder 14 cucking season steph zapieri wow and his profile picture is maurica which is funny bradley meek brian max i got circumcised in the third world country so my friends call me mr manjis turn on your post notifications i don't know what you're talking about uh people are talking this guy just called me eye bags yeah why am i getting those we're getting old that's all that is i mean what can i do um matt window
Starting point is 00:51:27 ty a leroy who came from flagrant too but make no mistake you guys are funnier smith b clark talha ayaz uh talha ayaz and then kaylinen Martinez, Sean Kowalski, Aiden Vidal, Arturo Vargas. Yeah, this sounds like a public school in Brooklyn. For Marshall Mathers, wow. That's a good one. That's a good one. Richie G, yo, fucking Richie G, dog. There's a $1,000 tier, Richie.
Starting point is 00:52:03 Fucking join it, bro. I see you there at the $20 level. What the fuck, Richie G, dog, does a $1,000 tier, Richie. Fucking join it, bro. I see you there at the $20 level. What the fuck, Richie? You're going to fly me around Dallas in a helicopter. You join it at 20 bucks? That's like buying me a fucking sandwich at Popelli's. The great Richie G, ladies and gentlemen. Nathan Mudal, Cullen Rogers, Selena Adams,
Starting point is 00:52:23 Tampa's finest steakhouseakhouse Glory Hole. See, those are the ones I love. Out of left field, David Altik, Christopher Gonzalez, welcome. Spinal Rabbit, Rick Craven, 100% grass-fed queef. How good? I mean, how good is 100% grass-fed queef? Drew says, I owe Richie G money, but don't tell him. Kay Weiss, Cody Sav, Savver?
Starting point is 00:52:53 Spelled like Favre, but Sav? Antony? Yeah, Antony. I don't pronounce Anthony, Anthony. Every time I say Anthony, I can't help but say Antony. Walker Cotton, Giannis Fumes, a.k.a. The Greek Reek. Humberto Garza. Greek independence from Cuomo Empire.
Starting point is 00:53:15 You're the only fan who's a scientist. Thank you, guys. And let's get up to date here. Last but not least, we got Brett Metcalf. Welcome, Brett. Brett Metcalf, Dylan Cummings. I like this guy, me. Evander, I was named after Holyfield
Starting point is 00:53:35 and I feel like a Drexler major. There you go. White Deuce Stanley, James Williams, Belisarius, Tyler Thatcher, Sammy here for the toots and glutes, Ruiz, three out of 10, yeah, man, Cyber Esme, Norby, Colin Walsh, Rick Pacheco, Gloria DeSico, Daniel Cohen, Miss Schneider. Okay, guys, I'll be your teacher, Miss Schneider today.
Starting point is 00:54:18 AOC gives a stimmy 2024 Donny T. AOC gives me a stimmy 2024 Donny Tate. Welcome. Jeff Offram. Offram. Jeff Offram. Rob Withers. Ronnie De... Ronnie DePriop.
Starting point is 00:54:36 DeManny. I hate my piece like Burr hates Yanni. Amazing. Nikita, sit on my horns and rotate. Wow. That's a Greek curse, which is hilarious, Jared, Deborah Perez, Dirty Birdie, Mike Vangelatos, welcome brother, Leonardo Castro, Babbling Brook, Sean Glizzy in the streets, TV Rimmies in the sheets, Cantwell, glizzy in the streets TV Rimmies
Starting point is 00:55:01 in the sheets Cantwell TV Rimmies so he's rim jobbing people but with his teeth Brian Costallo Scott Stevenson Josh Grant
Starting point is 00:55:12 Andre Vasquez Eddie Ochea Flores McKinley Smoot Vasilios Papadoulos Vasilios Papadoupoulos all the Greeks have the same
Starting point is 00:55:23 fucking last name Kyle Tracy handball squeak with mumfungo cheeks united fumes of doom danny told my piece that my beast was covered in yeast because i stuck it in the crease of an all meats pete's cavallero that's the Hall of Famer. Squeaky Barber. Wow. Squeaky Barber was there for the take in for years. Terry. Yup.
Starting point is 00:55:52 I'm white. Smith. That's what you call a chicken figure. Simple but good. I read that wrong. It's Terry. Yup. I'm white. Smith.
Starting point is 00:56:00 Garrett Rittenberg. Then Garrett. Back to back. That's wild. Garrett Rittenberg. And then right next to him is just Garrett then Nicholas Germans are kraut monkeys not snow monkeys Straker from Berlin good one June D Ryan Walsh I mean just Polish Walsh Czajkak just a Polish kid Giacomo the midnight meat train Voltaggio coming soon to a Dave and Buster's men's room near you. Hall of Fame.
Starting point is 00:56:32 And then last but not least, Sergent Baines. Sergent Baines. So thank you guys. Join patreon.com slash yannylongdays. Now for our sponsors. I'd like to give a big shout out to Max, Mr. Good Guy Long, Good Guys Refrigeration. You know the locations, Seattle and Palm Springs. I don't know how he did that. I don't know how a guy opened a refrigeration company in Palm Springs in Seattle. He just like,
Starting point is 00:57:00 I don't know. Why don't you open one in Seattle and then how about a town next to Seattle? Why do you got to get on a plane to check your other office? So he's in two states, Palm Springs and obviously California and Seattle. And guys, Good Guys Refrigeration. So it's goodguysrefrigeration.com. Check them out.
Starting point is 00:57:20 The guy works out of his van. If you got any issues with your refrigerator. You know what? I want to meet this guy. I may break my fridge and see if he drives to New York to fix it. So give him a call if you got a problem with your fridge in those two areas and tell your friends if they live in those areas. If you got friends that live in those areas, just proactively call them and tell them about goodguysrefrigeration.com because that's just a funny call to make. Be like, hey,
Starting point is 00:57:43 if anything ever goes wrong with your refrigerator, I got the guy. And again, we are brought to you by one of my favorite restaurants. No lie. I love it that this guy is a sponsor of this show because I actually go to his restaurant and been many times. Blue Agave, Mexican food, 3rd Avenue in Bay Ridge. If you live in New York City or if you visit new york city why the fuck not go to blue agave and maybe you'll meet my boy joseph demonte and you guys can say wow we're long haulers i heard your restaurant on long days i came to check it out he'll give you a free drink maybe a handy who knows it's mexican they got a different culture and uh there's a nice backyard it's cute if you wanted to just go outside with your girl and have
Starting point is 00:58:26 like and just you know get a fucking margarita or if you'd like to get you know just some other drink do it get a beer get a michelada and the food is great and it's cool ambience nice little joint one of my favorite uh blue agave you could follow them on the gram. Blue Agave. Check it out. And we are brought to you by my boy Rob's Mental Playground. Thank you for joining the Long Hauler Small Business Sponsors, cuz. So listen to this, Long Haulers. We got all types of sponsors here, and I love it. So if you'd like to support a creative kid that's following his artistic dreams, just like maybe you are, or you know Yanni Longdays is, check out robsmentalplayground.com. robsmentalplayground.com. If you're looking
Starting point is 00:59:17 for an original painting, print, even a neat t-shirt, it's a great place to visit. He's a kid from Michigan. He's living in Chicago and he loves creating beautiful artwork. Rob's mental playground.com or you can follow him on the gram. Rob's mental playground on Instagram. He's right here in the chat right now. Check him out. Who knows? Cause his paintings might be dope. Listen, don't put a poster, a framed poster. Jesse's an artist. Okay. And I love art art you got to get a fucking original i don't care if it's van gogh if it's a if it's a print it's worthless i'll take a piss on it i'll pull it down i'll set it on fire the point to get charm and good energy in your house is to buy
Starting point is 00:59:57 original paintings from artists first of all check out jesse scaturo on the gram he sells his fucking art and since he's on the show he's gonna charge you a lot so jesse scaturo on the gram. He sells his fucking art. And since he's on the show, he's going to charge you a lot. So Jesse Scaturo, all one word, but Rob's Mental Playground. This kid's a painter. Him and Jesse can fucking paint each other's nails. You guys can go over and paint each other's nails. So go check him out. Rob's Mental Playground.com. Welcome, son. Good to have you here for the long haul. Oh, I love this kid. Guys, we are also brought to you by Jared Z from the Stinkbox, Tallahassee, looking for that hairy Yanni P to make me a cuzzy. So, yo, okay, he wants me to tell everyone he's an ex-Catholic, and now he's a born-again Christian. I mean, the kid loves to make bad decisions.
Starting point is 01:00:48 And very easy, hey, cuz, I'm starting a religion. You want to move to Romania? I think that kid will be first in line. His mother says he's handsome. But more importantly, he's the owner of Exclusive Auto Shipping. It's based in Tallahassee, Florida, brother. So he's soon to be in San Antonio, Texas. Now, this is great, okay?
Starting point is 01:01:09 So if you're moving anywhere, you call up this kid and he moves, no matter even if it's your grandmother and she's a wheelchair. As long as it's got wheels, it's some sort of automobile, your boy Jared will move it. So check him out. Where's his website? Exclusiveautoshipping.com. That's what it is.
Starting point is 01:01:31 Exclusiveautoshipping.com. Check it out. I'm sure he's based in Tallahassee, soon to be San Antonio. So I guess those are the two cities. If you're moving to or from, he'll take care of you. Exclusiveautoshipping.com. So there we have it. Those are our small business sponsors right there. Only five slots. I will keep all five of those for the long haul. Even when this podcast gets huge, I will keep five at that
Starting point is 01:01:59 low price for small business sponsors. Jesse's saying I got to go up, but I won't. I will keep it. I will keep those five, but only five. So thank you for supporting. And I will respect your loyalty when this gets big. You will keep that slot. Everybody else join patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays. Join the long haulers. We're having fun back there. Hop in the bathtub with me and listen to Squeaky Clean, the bonus episodes every Wednesday that you can access at patreon.com slash Yanni long days five dollars a month if you can't afford five dollars a month then get the fuck out of my listenership

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