Yannis Pappas Hour - Not a Job For Girls

Episode Date: March 1, 2024

A botched mega church event in Houston that’s proof women can't perform that specific job as well as men. Furthermore, Yannis exposes the domestic weapons industrial complex, and a woman celebrates her 110th birthday. Join our bonus channel for our berserk and uncensored weekly bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator See Yanni do stand up live in your town: Ticket links for his live stand up dates in your city: https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/shows Join our highlights page for highlight clips from the episodes: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykw Check out Prize Picks here: https://www.prizepicks.com/podcast?&utm_source=Podcast&utm_medium=PodcastAds&utm_campaign=100depositmatch&utm_content=YannisPappasHour&utm_term=YANNIS?invite_code=YANNIS

Guys, I am in Stanford, Connecticut, March 1st and 2nd. Denver, Colorado, March 14th and 16th. Chicago has been moved. It's unavoidable. I apologize. It'll be rescheduled. So Denver, March 14th through the 16th. Royal Theater Show added in Toronto, March 23rd.

Get those tickets. Cleveland, Ohio at Hilarity's March 29th and 30th. Tulsa at Bricktown Comedy Club, April 5th and 6th. Kansas City, Missouri The Comedy Club of Kansas City April 11th through the 13th Netflix is a joke Festival Los Angeles May 2nd Raleigh, North Carolina

May 17th, 18th And other dates also up there Ticket links will be up there as well Patreon.com slash Giannis Papasour For our weekly bonus episodes Join up. What's up, everybody? Welcome to another episode of the Giannis Pappas Hour, where we spend 13 minutes preparing, doing research with the primary objective of entertaining you. We will be wrong. We will be right. We will be maybe. The MAGA movement has grown. Now,

80% of Americans support a border wall. So Make America Great Again has grown, just like people hope that the wall grows. There's a 110-year-old woman who's alive in Rhode Island. Of course, it makes the news. And of course, you know what the main question is. How did you do it? Why do people always think that it's such an amazing thing to live to 110? Maybe she lost a bet in a previous life. Maybe she's suffering. How great can life be at 107?

She did celebrate it at a pizza place, though. So she's a woman after my own heart. But you ever notice these old women, they're always like, I don't know. I smoke. I drink gin. You know, I still bang. I do everything wrong. So it's just genetics, folks. It's one big potluck. We're all at the casino. We're farting in the wind. We're pissing in the wind. It's a roll of the dice. Either you got shitty genes, you got good genes. Either you inherited a heart condition or you didn't. There's no way to cold plunge your way out of it. Bitcoin is soaring. We will talk about it. It's up $53,000. So people are believing. And that will last only until people's belief in Bitcoin shifts to

Jesus, which is coming according to Joe Rogan. He says, we need Jesus. We will look into it. The Christian Ayatollah is coming, but not if a woman in Houston can say something about it. She tried to shoot up Jesus. She tried to shoot up Joel Osteen's church with, look, I don't know what it is, but the AR-15 is the preferred gun of mass shootings. She went in there. It's like a nine iron. When you got to drive the ball, you grab the right club, right? When you got to go long, you get the right club. The AR-15 is the long drive of the mass shooter. It's just, it's like Air Force Ones on white girls right now.

Just preferred. The Army slashing jobs. 24,000, 74,000. Bunch of thousands of jobs are getting slashed, which is ironic because recruitment's down. So they're all switching to drone warfare and all that. I have a plan.

I have a vision of what the future's gonna look like. Stick around to hear it. Patreon.com slash Giannis Papasau for the best bonus episodes around every week. And let's get into it. Put your swim trunks on, take your clothes off, and get a tattoo. Guys, football season may be over, but the action on the floor is heating up. I'm a basketball fan. You know that.

Whether it's tournament season or the fight for the playoff home court, there's no shortage of high-stakes basketball moments this time of year. Get in on the excitement with PrizePix, America's number one fantasy sports app where you can turn your hoop knowledge into serious cash. Download the app today. Use the code Giannis for a first deposit match up to $100. You heard that right. Use the code Giannis for a first deposit match up to $100.

PrizePix. Pick more, pick less. It's that easy. So I'd like to start with my favorite fruit cup. Don Lennon. Dom Lemon. Which is a fruit. Lemon is a fruit.

I like to call him Don Queerberry. Made $24.5 million to settle his firing for CNN. Isn't that great that you can be in such a high position job that in order to let go, they give you? Where is CNN coming up with that money? Who's their parent company? Do they just have a fund of like whoopsie money? Or like when they get sued for reporting something wrong

or when they have to fire a gay black guy? There's no way a sissy, there's no way a sis can, I think sissy should be reappropriated by the straights. I'm a sissy.

I'm a sis. I'm a sissy guy. I'm a sis. I'm sis-ish. That's going to be a new, I think when the gen, are we going back to gen A after X?

What's going on after X? Maybe we go full circle to Gen A or maybe it's the last generation. We'll find out in 2024 after the geriatric war between our two preferred candidates. The best we could find, Mr. Falls Down and Mr. Fucking Sneaker Con.

We'll find out if we're still here. That's I think what it is. I think they're hey you're gay you're black we don't want a problem uh you're also a drunk he likes to drink i don't know if you remember seeing him um my wife loves to watch um what's the gay guy from the e-channel that guy what's the fuck i'm so drunk i'm not talking about uh anderson cooper oh cohen yeah anderson cooper's been gray like steve martin since he was 27 yeah yeah andy cohen andy cohen she likes to watch that guy she likes to watch andy cohen and and um anderson cooper bringing the new year because she's a girl and she's got no she's got a vagina so she wants to watch two vaginas talk so she likes watching those guys and then one year dom lemon was on there and

he's like wasted town everyone was wasted um so i think just in order to fire a non-cis um non-person of color you just got to have a fund. You just go here, take 24 mil. We'll make it up in Pfizer commercials. So he got let go 24 mil, and supposedly he's going to X too, where the truth reigns. I think there's rumors of him going to X. So, you know, X is, Elon Musk is trying to make X like an all-in-one. rumors of him going to X. So, you know, X is,

Elon Musk is trying to make X like an all-in-one. It's never going to work. That's what Facebook tried to do too, where an all-in-one, they wanted you to call people. One time on Instagram, they changed the, with an update on Instagram, and then your fans had your number. And because you had to click off,

I was getting calls from people, right? And I remember I was talking to Bobby Kelly. He's like, yeah, I just like, I just got a call from a fan going, is this Giannis? I'm like, who's this? I'm like, what the hell are you doing? What the hell are you doing Instagram? I don't want, I don't want more ways to make a phone call. We got to simplify all this, but it's never going to be, there's going to be like, oh, you go to X, you make your call, you watch your shows, you, you go to X, you make your call, you watch your shows, you binge on your guilty follows of Nazis. And nobody's going to go just take a peek at what the latest Nazi's saying on X while they're also writing their grandmother and taking a call from their papa. It's not going

to happen. You go to X for information, misinformation, and unruly discussion. That's what you go for. And porn. And porn. But I mean, who's going for the, the porn, those are just advertising. The porn stars on there, they're not stars anymore. The porn people are on there and it's just go to my OnlyFans. So X is never going to become OnlyFans. Unless he puts up a rival subscription. Who knows? People have been saying Patreon is going to be taken over by some. YouTube tried to do it. Instagram

ordered a thing. People get used to a certain thing. They just go to Patreon. Patreon.com slash Giannis Papasour. We need a thousand of you right now. I'm calling you up like the U.S. military. And just like when the U.S. military tried to get new recruits, it's not going to work. I'm calling you up like the U.S. military. And just like when the U.S. military tried to get new recruits, it's not going to work. OK, because you people got bills and you can only afford cereal for dinner, which is what the Kellogg CEO recommended.

Nobody has any advertising tact anymore. The advertisers have lost to the democratization. The advertisers have lost to the democratization. Everyone's a better advertiser now than the Kellogg's. Kellogg's CEO, Gary Palink, or whatever wasp he is, CEO, you know. Kellogg's, I think, is banned in Japan. I mean, it kills you. It's going to kill your kids. Everything's killing everybody.

He said, you know his COO and his marketing department was like, you're the CEO. Shut your mouth, okay? You're the guy who has a 300-time salary than the average worker in this company. Shut your mouth. Collect your unwarranted, unworked-for money because you were born into it or whatever, and just shut your mouth. Don't talk.

This is a PR gaffer. This is a PR gaffer. It's a PR gaffer. He said, look, guys, the economy is tough right now, so what I recommend is you eat cereal for dinner. As if people were going to go, look, the people who were eating cereal for dinner were already eating cereal for dinner. They didn't need to hear about it from an evil children's cereal who makes Frosted Flakes.

Kellogg's data shows cereal is not only the number one choice for breakfast, but 25% of cereal consumption is outside of breakfast time, like dinner or snack. Cereal for dinner is something that's probably more on trend now, and we would expect to continue as consumers are under pressure. So what he's basically saying is, you starving is good for me. Keep needing cheap, dry grain. He wants you to eat dry grain for dinner.

Adults, he wants you to sit down at the table and spoon a bowl of meat, of milk, of meat, as you wish, you can't afford meat. So this is the contradiction of the economy that we live in, right? Things are going pretty good. Inflation is still pretty high, but also Bitcoin is soaring.

So it's like people have a lot of money to invest in Bitcoin. Me and Jesse spent 20 minutes talking about Bitcoin before this episode. Guess what? We didn't make any progress. Here's my rule of thumb, and this is what I said.

If what you're saying to me sounds like rocket science and it's not rocket science, I assume something's up. I assume something's up. The more someone talks, then the more I assume something's up because things are pretty simple. But from what I understand is Bitcoin is hoped to be, again, as I try to understand it for the 90th time on this podcast, Bitcoin is an alternative to money. It's internet money, but it costs real money.

And as it goes up in value, the value is based on how many people are interested in it being the alternative money. But then when they sell it, they're selling it for more real money. And the reason why they're buying it is because they assume with inflation and all this, there's going to be a collapse of the dollar. That's the ultimate end goal, right? So like, if the dollar collapses or inflation gets too high, they can spend their Bitcoin, right? But their Bitcoin's right now only worth something if it's worth something in that money that if it goes, they're glad Bitcoin's around. But the Bitcoin only has value if the other money's around.

But the whole point of Bitcoin is that someday that money's not going to be around. So I'm confused. Because if the dollar collapses, I think we got bigger problems. But then I guess it's an international country, international currency. It's an international currency. So that means if the dollar collapses and doesn't become the reserve currency of the world, that means one thing.

It's not going to be Bitcoin. That means the yen has taken over. But it doesn't look like the yen's taken over because President Xi is turning that place into a fucking communist regime he's cracked out on all these companies right he's saying hey we're open for business but then he's fucking ramsacking every american company saying you're all spies and they're saying hey no we're just selling cheese drinks you're way over thinking this just yolo it dude just yolo

it baby just live that fucking yoloO life. Can you tell these? This is when I'm YOLOing, I wear my glasses like this. You know what? Give me fucking 20 Bitcoins. How much they cost now? Talk about inflation. You know what the irony is? These things are fucking inflated through the roof.

I'm buying invisible air that shows up as a digital word, and it costs me 60 grand for Bitcoin. How much is one Bitcoin right now? How much does one Bitcoin cost me 60 grand for bitcoin how much is one bitcoin right now how much does one bitcoin cost me 56 000 so 56 000 i can go buy a used tesla with long range and actually drive my wife while she yells at me that's something i can fucking talk about yeah but look what it's going to be worth in 2030 it's going to be worth a lot more in 2030 but if i sell it i'll get i'll get money all right so just buy the s&p 500 that's what jesse told me i'm dipping my fucking toes into the market i don't know buy what nancy pelosi

buys buy what nancy pelosi buys what did she just buy she she bought palo alto networks so whatever that is buy it i don't know what it is i don't know where it is but just buy it right now there's a whole movement that's that's grown and it's a wise one that they just watch what nancy pelosi buys and just fucking buy it well she crushed it with nvidia oh yeah well she sold that remember when there was pressure under like we talked about yeah she's sitting on like a million plus dollars and then she's then she secretly quietly bought it all back because she's she knows something um so just buy what nancy pelosi buys buy the s&p 500 um so you don't got to pay a money manager and you get your 10 if you're not making your 10

you're not beating the market every year then the money managers are taking your money i got a money manager and he's got me invested like it's the 1950s. I actually went and looked at the companies. God, I mean, I'm in everything. I'm an Exxon. I'm the owner of so many 1920s companies. He's got me in nothing tech except Microsoft, which is something that offices and 60-year-olds use. No, it's pretty good. Microsoft's good.

What are they doing besides vaccines for Africa? No, Microsoft? I'm just saying Bill Gates likes to do things. No, they got their hand in AI. Okay, so buy Microsoft. So he's got me in Microsoft. Other than that, he's got me in, I am in Kellogg's. He's got me in Kellogg's.

What else do we see on there? Kellogg's, AT&T. He's got me in AT&T. He's got me in phone lines. Some other dusty company. Yeah, he's got me in phone lines. He's got me in phone lines. Some other dusty company. Yeah. He's got me in phone lines. He's got me in DVD players. Answering machines. Yeah. He's got me in space ice cream, a space ice cream company. He's got me in answering machines. He's got me in eight ball jackets.

He's got me in P Diddy's company. You know, he's got me a P. Diddy's company. That's right. You know? He's got me in Master P's line of gold teeth. He's got you in Blackberry. He's got me in Atari. Yeah, Nokia. Yeah, he's got me in Nokia. He's got me in Reebok. He's got me in Atonix. He got me in Pro-Keds.

He's got me in Damon Dash's Rockefeller. Everything from the past time. He's got me in racism. He's got me in segregation. He's got me in Japanese internment camps. He's got me in World War I Volvos. He's got me in everything. Yeah.

My portfolio would be great if it was 1929. It's great. He's got me in beepers. He's got me in all the good stuff. You're going to crush it. I'm going to crush it on beepers. He's got me in Nextel right now. I'm looking good.

He's got me in Nokia. Whole bunch of good stuff that he's got me in. So I'm excited with my new VCR stocks. So the world's changing. That's the point. The world's changing.

Just bet the S&P 500. It's the safest way to bet. The world's changing. The Army is downsizing. Macy's is closing. You can say goodbye to the Macy's Day Parade. Macy's is closing 150 stores. Now, I knew that was coming

because every time I go to a mall, I have to say it that way because every time I do go to a mall, I'm in Long Island. And you go into Macy's, you walk in, you walk right out. They got the cheap Adidas, the cheap Nikes in that little section that nobody wants.

There's no sneaker culture in there. And then all of the, it's just chaps it's just chaps and and Levi's you just go in there for the Levi's I only go to Macy's for Levi's I'm not interested in in like discount polo polo has lost its value it used to be this ultra you know waspy expensive line that only Tim Dillon still wears. And then it became just like everyone could afford polo. And that's all there is in those stores. They're going to focus on Bloomingdale's and I guess it's, and Blue Mercury. Blue Mercury, I think is a store.

Is it a burger joint, something? So, because the luxury stores have outperformed Macy's yeah because luxury people like to see the stuff that's the thing if you're just buying if you need t-shirts just go to true classics all right not who we kidding how many people are really in shape true classics made the american i wear true class i am outfitted in true classics on stage I wear true classics every day they're made for the American body why don't you just advertise it like that

the CEO in me messaged he sent me a bunch of free stuff that jacket that I got was pretty cool the black one yeah just market it right go hey the American body ain't what it used to be

there's no more fitted shit there's no more tailors there's you need a little you There's no more tailors. You need a little more room on the bottom. You need a little tighter up here and a little room on the bottom. And I don't know what he does. There's some elastic here that pushes your tits in. Oh, yeah?

I guess so. Because I look pretty good in a true classy, and I got a dad bod. Yeah. I got an American body. I'm not seeing any titties. Yeah, I mean, you can't go to Italy and sell true classics. You can't go to france and i mean it's an american brand let's be honest you know finland's getting fat europe they're fat i mean they're starting to get fat in certain places just go to the places where people are just a little fat and just true classics they're

the best they're good quality i'm not even sponsored by him i told him he should sponsor because i wear it all the time yeah they sponsored like one episode a long time yeah I mean it's like just give me a deal give me an overall deal

with True Classics where I just get endless their jeans are great they're just a superior product they got a nice inseam high tight close to my balls

so you don't got that baggy thing oh you like that yeah and I'm not even getting paid for this I have no promo code to promote to you I love True Classics anyway yeah so you don't you're. So you don't, you're going to go to true classics. You're not going to go to Macy's for your run of the mill clothes. And the only stores

that are going to survive are like the, it's going to be an Apple store, a pizza place, a poke bowl spot. And then everyone else is working from home. We want to create jobs. everyone else is working from home. We want to create jobs. Listen, let the libertarian model, it's working in Argentina. Just let it rip, baby. Let it rip. Everyone works from home. And then you want to create jobs. Everyone gets a security force where you hire someone 24 hours a day. You build these things in your house like you used to have during these castles where guys are just holding AR-15s through these holes in your door every day. And you're shooting everything that moves. So you hire security. So everyone has security to fend off all these mentally ill people with guns.

You have to accept a new economy for what it is. Shooting, OnlyFans, podcasts, luxury brands, and Bitcoin. That's what it is. Sneakers are still going strong. Sneakers is big. Shoes are down. Nobody's getting shoes. So don't invest in any shoe companies.

I'm sure my guy's got me in wingtips. I'm sure he's got me in wingtips along with my Reeboks. So, you know, sneakers, getting the sneaker business. I'm here to give advice to young people. Get in the sneaker business. I'm here to give advice to young people, getting a sneaker business. Okay. Um, probably not Foot Locker. Who knows how long they're going to be around? How long are they going to be fucking outfitting homeless people? I mean, you know, they don't got any sneaker culture there. So everyone's buying their sneakers online. You know, your size, um, reused clothes sites. That's another one.

Go to school and have a dream to work at Poshmark's corporate office that's a the thing is people go to college they don't have

the right dreams anymore they're still going like I want to change the world it's like the world's already changed and that change is Poshmark get a job

at Poshmark OnlyFans tried to do comedy specials I think Whitney shot her comedy special on OnlyFans tried to do comedy specials. I think Whitney shot her comedy special on OnlyFans. Again, it's not going to work. It's not going to work. Maybe it will.

I don't know. But get a job. You don't have to learn to code. Just do marketing for Poshmark. Everything needs to become an MLM. I think there's some other big companies that are going MLM. I think some celebrity's company just went MLM. Multi-level marketing, like my wife does.

Everyone's employed. I mean, you're losing money because you're buying more products than you're selling, but you feel good. You're part of a cult. You're, you know, it's good for that company. They got to hire more people. Or I don't know, one CEO gets all the because there's a 30,000 bored housewives that are selling their fucking products to each other I mean that's a good option too multi-level marketing

all right I'm gonna just continue to hire comedians and they'll have comedians under them and then comedians and there's so many comedians there's so many talentless comedians there's a whole bunch of good-looking women doing comedy now there's rich people doing comedy now there's so many talentless comedians. There's a whole bunch of good-looking women doing comedy now. There's rich people doing comedy now. There's so many unfunny, stable people doing comedy now. And they're all looking for jobs on the content team of comics. So I'm going to create a multi-level marketing Giannis Papasour team where I hire comedians

and then the comedians are to them. And then they just keep going until we go all the way to the bottom of the barrel and they'll all be making clips for each other. And you know, you can, if you sell people on the Giannis Papasour, you get a little percentage. I got to get a fucking egghead mathematician

in here to work it out. But that's essentially what the economy is going to become. Multi-level marketings, churches are coming back big, MLMs, OnlyFans, podcasts, stand-up clips, and S&P 500. It's going to be the S&P 500 and private security. It's going to be big. And that's the company.

And also brain supplements just buy in go to college and say I want to work at Onnit I want to take these powdered mushroom pills that are mostly placebo we're going to do that because the thing is it's all genetics

I mean it's all genetics otherwise how do you explain that my father smoked everyone's always looking for this magic bullet to health to stick around here. My dad didn't want to go when he was 90, but did he want to stay? Did you really want to stay for your 90s? My dad did, but it's an idea. I mean, what does 96

really look like? I mean, this woman in Rhode Island is 110 years old. I bet you they'd ever write what they really say when they find these old people, right? She's in New Jersey. I thought she was in Rhode Island. Wherever the hell she is, who cares? She's 110 years old. She celebrated her 110th birthday. I don't think when they report, you know, these articles always come up where they find someone, they locate someone who's

over a hundred and they locate them for one purpose. Every article is like, what is your secret? And the person never has a secret because there is no secret. And they never report what they really say. Cause what they really say is take me now. I'm take me, take me now. I'm ready to go. And maybe it's just, you know, maybe that's what keeps them around. Ironically, cause the world has a sense of humor. Nature has has a sense of humor maybe what keeps them around so much is that they want to go so much because you can't have what you want and that's what we know and everyone who's trying to stay here drops dead at 50 or 60 of a heart attack but these fucking miserable cunts live till 150 i mean i think i think dick cheney's still alive with like a moose's heart. He's got like a pig's vessels in there. He's a cyborg with machines.

Guy's had 40 heart attacks. He got shot in the face. Didn't he get shot in the face? Oh, he shot someone in the face. I mean, the guy's just like, oh. No, he's out there hunting every weekend. Yeah, you see, you know, his head's all drooped down. I mean, the Rockefellers lived till 150.

All the miserable cunts lived forever. And all the beautiful people are gonna go and the people who wanna stay are gonna go so the key to life is to wanna leave the key to life is to go

oh this place sucks that's your mantra? I think so because if you think about how the rules are set in opposition you know like oh pizza tastes good

but it's bad for you oh this girl's sex is great but she's crazy. The rules are always set in opposition. You would think that probably that is also part of the simulation code, is that the person who wants to leave the most but doesn't have the balls to do it is going to be here until 140. I bet you if I really talked to that woman, she would tell me about it.

She hates her daughters. She hates, you know, I bet you she's like Paulie Walnuts, his mom in the old folks home, just like fighting everybody. She takes her teeth out and annoys the other girls. Like, I bet you, she's just not a get like a beautiful person.

You know, I bet you she's a real troublemaker. That was one of my favorite. That was one of my favorite episodes of the sopranos is when he threatens the guy he says your mom better start accepting my mom in the groups at the at the old folks home and then he has his arm broken so the guy's got to go have a talk with his mom and say and she's like i just don't like her he said i didn't live this long to be friends with people i don't like and then the guy's wife's like we're're going to put you in the Salvation Army. Just be nice to Paulie Walnuts' mom.

See, I don't even remember that. I got to watch it again. The episode is so funny because when the head of the nursing home, he goes in to complain to the head of the nursing home, like they're ostracizing my mom. They won't talk to my mom. She's upset.

She won't get out of bed. She's depressed. And then she goes, look, your mom's lacking social skills. She takes her teeth out around the other girls, and that makes them uncomfortable. She does all this stuff, and Paulie has to accept it, but he still strong-arms the guy. He's like, your mom is going to start treating my mom better,

or else I'm going to break the other arm. The best. The best show. Oh, it's really like, it's so good, I can't believe how good it is now that I'm re-watching it. It's really crazy. Guys, I love prize picks. I'm glad that they are back.

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Who would have saw that coming? Besides everyone who's been saying we should have a wall. It just, the media made it sound so bad when he was asking for a wall. It just immediately, it made him sound so cold and callous. And, you know, it's because of his delivery system. Like if he would have went up there and said it, like couched it in all this like compassionate rhetoric, maybe it would have been different.

But he goes up there and he's like, we got to keep these fucking lowlifes out. And so then it's just this media backlash that, you know, paints him in this regard with this on this specific issue as such a callous person trying to put kids in cages or whatever it is. But once, I'm telling you, once those migrants started showing up to those northern towns, things changed. Things changed. It was a brilliant tactic by Governor Hot Wheels. It all started with Martha's Vineyard, right?

Martha's Vineyard, I think that was the opening ceremony. That was classic. That was the lighting the torch of the migrants being bussed up. You know? Greyhound is just killing it right now. Yeah, buy that stock. Yeah, buy Greyhound.

As long as Biden's in office, buy Greyhound. Yeah, it's one of those issues that's not going to poll. I'm surprised they got 80% with their poll because it's one of those issues that's not going to poll. I'm surprised they got 80% with their poll because it's one of those issues. Um, like a lot of those issues that people don't talk about to anyone. And that's why I think people were so surprised that Trump's victory, because a lot of issues don't pull, nobody calls and goes, gets these dirty Mexicans out of my town. Nobody's going to say that. Right? But unfortunately, a lot of people believe that. They go, look, you had my vote when it was all happening, not in my neighborhood.

Now that it's in my neighborhood, but they're not going to admit that. It's one of those issues that like, you're not going to, it's not going to poll well. Just like people having their doubts about the Ukraine. Once it becomes like a cause, like, you know, a cause that you chatter about at dinner and people like these. It's not going to poll well when people are like, look, this I support the Ukraine, but I don't know if this is going to work. You know, I mean, you got you got Freddie French sticks, Macron saying that ground troops are not out of the question right now.

And you're like, what are you, crazy? What are you, nuts? I mean, the Ukraine supposedly has lost like 40,000 men. And that's, I think, Zelensky's count. So it's probably more than that. So Germany and Poland say they're not sending troops to Ukraine as the Kremlin war warms. But France, France said they're not out of the question.

Yeah. He says it cannot be ruled out. It's like, what are you nuts? You know, at this point, I think it's a lolly. I hate to say it.

I, at this point you're going, I think it might be a lolly and you just might want to go. Here you go. Little baby. Here's your lolly. Enjoy. Now be quiet.

And then just cross your fingers and hope he stops there. I mean, what are you going to do? It doesn't seem like it's a winnable war. I could have told you, if you listen to my podcast, I don't know what was going to happen, but there's one thing I can tell you, and I've been warning you for tens of podcasts, is that Russians like to die.

If you're going to go in a dying war with Russians, the Russians just throw bodies, a war of attrition. They should make that a Russian war because in World War II, it was like millions died. They burnt down their own villages to just starve out the German intruders. Russians are like, they look at death as like a lateral move. They're just a people who looks at it as like a lateral move. So it's tough to win a war of attrition with the Russians. There's a lot of them. There's so many of them of them and they got a dictator so he's just forcing people in you know here we're like asking people politely we're going like do you want to join the military and they're like what are you nuts i got a i got a freaking twitch page are you nuts i'm not job you know i just got a job editing somebody's clips i'm not joining the goddamn

military but in russia you want to join the military and then they laughed like i was just kidding it wasn't a question it was rhetorical get up there get up there there's no you know you don't have any option so i don't know if you can beat those people so it might be one of those issues where people are just doing that thing we're going like don't tell anyone i told you but that sounds great don't tell anyone I told you, but that sounds great. Don't tell anyone I told you, but that sounds great. Because it is a lot of money that's being sent over there. So the American taxpayers are either getting a little fed up, I think, on both sides of the aisle.

And 80% in favor of the wall. So here we go. Here we go. We're coming up on election season trump's being sued for 450 plus million dollars in the new york courts he's appealing it um he's still got that hush money case though that one's tough on him too but the the public relations war is just, I mean, is one for his supporters base. He's just Teflon.

Like he can't, anything could come up. It's just like, what that means to me is people are sick and tired of being gaslit. They're sick and tired of being gaslit. They're sick and tired of the polite talk. They're sick and tired of all the war on excellence that is degrading what made America, America. They're kind of sick, whether they're admitted or not. You got your zealots who admit it. And then you got other people who are just kind of tired of it. So Trump is a bold, he boldly says things and there's nobody else who boldly says things that has that charisma and that height. Height is important for some reason. You just can't, I mean, DeSantis just looked like a little person up there, probably from a

conservative perspective, more, more effective effective you know has done get does things i mean he's calling up national troop guards and throwing them at the border right now he's giving incentive to cops to come be cops in florida because he wants to build uh he wants to build a mussolini force he just does it you know but he was a shrimp. So Trump's got the height and he's bold. So I think people just enjoy the boldness because it's been a culture of don't say that, don't say that, don't say that, don't say that. So I think the lefties, again, I've said this many times, don't want to admit it, but they've made him. He's their Frankenstein. He's the media and he's the left's Frankenstein. He is the equal opposite reaction to their culture war.

And that's all it really is. That's all it really is. It's not, and that's why criticism of him just doesn't sway his followers. Because they're like, until you show me somebody else who's going to say these things that a lot of us are thinking, we're going to take all the baggage that comes with it. We'll take all the baggage that comes with it because we're desperate, desperate people. They don't care about the baggage. They care about a wall. They care about, Hey, let's re-examine how

much money we're spending here and there. They care about, yeah, this is a woman in that submit. They care about all this shit that he just comes out and he says and takes a lot of flack for it. And they just continue to make him a martyr. They continue to make him a martyr with this $454 million civil fraud judgment, which we talked about, right? It's what all real estate speculators do, right?

It's a deal. The bank goes, he goes, I'm worth this. And every real estate developer overvalues and then they negotiate. And then the bank decides what they're going to lend out. So it's like an unspoken rule of real estate. So it's tough because you could put, it's like an unspoken rule of real estate. So it's tough because you could put every real estate developer in jail for this is a bank ends up agreeing to a sum.

So it's like, if it's fraud, it's like, you know, the bank agreed to it. That's like me, you know, that's like me calling someone up and saying, I'm an amazing, I'm, I'm an amazing comedian. I'm going to sell for 40,000 tickets at your spot. And they go, how can you tell me? I go, I know Joe Rogan. I know Joe Rogan. I've been on Joe Rogan. I'm going to sell 40,000 tickets in your spot. Okay. That's my value. That's my value. Loosely, you know, loosely, because they have to agree to it, right? And so then they go, you know what? We believe it.

We're going to give you a $300,000 guarantee. And I go, and the turnout is like it was in Atlanta. Who's, you know, they agreed to it. They agreed. The bank agreed. And not only that, they got their money back, right? So it's like, what is this? It's a tough one. You know, it sort of makes him a murder, a murder.

So we'll see. Joe Biden went on Seth Meyers. And, you know, people are giving him credit you know we're in a weird place when people give him credit for not for having a pretty normal interview for three minutes yeah for three minutes the headlines like he looked pretty normal he's great he made a couple jokes like that's the standard now we're just hoping he doesn't fall he's got the same standard as my special needs brother wow wow you didn't miss mess up any words and you didn't fall down yeah you didn't shit your pants you didn't shit your pants up there you did a pretty good job so he went up there and he you know he said uh about goes, you know, my guy's also around my same age,

and he doesn't remember who his own wife is. And then he goes, he goes, I don't care about age. I care about old ideas. And old Trumpy Poo has old ideas. And then he made a joke. He said, Taylor Swift's endorsement. He goes, that's classified. That's classified, Sethi.

Classified. That's classified, Sethi. What does it feel like to be a comedian talking to a president nominee when you know you're not going to interview the other one? The network will never allow you to interview the other one. I love Seth Meyers' show. I tune in every night. Who's tuning in

i mean when's the last time you heard his show mentioned before biden was on is it i don't even know if you can get an honest answer on that the ratings i mean who who is talking about seth meyer's late night program i mean who knows Who is talking about Seth Meyers' late night program? I mean, who knows? Who knows? Who am I to talk? All I'm just saying is me and him are probably compadres.

You know? And that would probably get the same ratings. That's what I'm talking about. There was a shooting in more American news. It was a shooting at Joel Osteen's church. And the woman had her kid with her

and an AR-15. There she is. So how does this her and an AR-15. There she is. So how does this chick get an AR-15? She had mental health issues. She was schizophrenic. She was allowed to own guns. How? How is this chick allowed to own guns?

Again, listen, let me just be honest with you, dude. I'm just going to be cold honest with my Second Amendment people, my fellow gun owners. I'm talking to my fellow gun owners right now. If I worked for the weapons industrial complex, this wouldn't be a tragedy for me. Right? I this wouldn't be a tragedy for me right crazy people with guns from a financial standpoint is not a tragedy for me that's just a fact that you have to accept it's just not tragic from a financial standpoint it's good for business and when I mean it's good for business how do I put

this there's nothing better there's nothing better. There's nothing better. Guns soar. The sale of guns soar after this news hits. So financially, you know, it's these same people. It's these same people who will talk about the pharmacological industrial complex, meaning like there's no incentive for people to get better there's no incentive to send up to therapy or yoga any of this shit because they make money off the sick it's the same people um who yell about regulating the pharmaceutical market uh pharmaceutical industry apologies um that don't see the obvious parallel with gun manufacturers. They have no incentive for there to be less gun crime. The best thing

for gun sales is gun crime because what stops a bad guy with a gun? Negotiation? No. A happy meal to make sure they're not hangry and end on poverty? No, not that. A more compassionate society? No, that's not what stops a bad guy with a gun. There's only one thing. There's only one thing that stops a bad guy with a gun. That's a good guy with a gun. And that's a good slogan for business. It's a good slogan for business. And I wouldn't suspect that they thought of that if they weren't a business. They're a business.

They don't hand those guns out. You got to give them legal tender for them. And they are responsible to their shareholders for growth. They want to see growth. It's the same as the pharmaceutical industry. They want to see growth every year. How do you get growth everywhere? Everyone's on pills. Guess what? Right now, everyone's on pills, right? Guess what people aren't doing? EMDR therapy. You got to be in California or, you know, play hacky sack to know about that or all these other methods that are proven yoga all this shit

i'm so everyone's on pills coincidence i don't think so guess what else is going on everyone's got guns coincidence i don't think so i don't think so i think marketing drives markets more than demand sometimes drives markets and i think we want to believe that the capitalist system is this perfect, invisible hand that just provides. And there's no manipulation. There's, I mean, dude, who's felt better after a cheeseburger from McDonald's? But when you look at the commercial, even I would, sometimes I look at the commercial and I go, you know what? Fuck Le Cirque. I want a cheeseburger from McDonald's.

They look so good. You know? If marketing wasn't so effective, I don't think they'd spend a gazillion dollars on it, right? dollars on it, right? But people want to believe that they're these strong independent people with agency and they're beyond manipulation. And they just want to believe that they're these self-reliant, industrious people who will never be the victims of untoward actors who are looking to pad their pockets. So look, it's a mental health issue and that's it. It's as simple as that. So when you bring that up to the righties too, you go like, okay, so should we spend more tax dollars

on mental health stuff? They go, well, I didn't say that. I didn't say that. I don't want to vote for that. But what we should do is just keep yelling at each other i'm not looking for a solution i'm just i'm like a robot i'm just gonna fucking arm up i'm gonna arm up for fucking armageddon and it just keeps going it's one of these israel palestine things that just keeps going and everyone's just yelling their side but nobody nobody's like looking at the heart of the issue.

And I just mentioned what the heart of the issue is. It's not a violin, baby. That's bitcoins. I mean, who's going to watch this and tell me that I'm wrong? I mean, I'm so fucking right it hurts my own ball sack. I mean, I'm so fucking right. Oh, just ball sack. I mean, I'm so fucking right. Oh, just read the comments. Am I right?

I mean, MAGA. No, read the comments. Yeah, the comments, they'll be somewhat. I mean, it's so obvious. Well, look, you can't argue the fact that shootings are good for business. You can look at the metrics. So you can only hope that the people in the gun industry are just these absolutely great people, so moral, and they don't care about the bottom line at all, which is a contradiction to business,

but that they don't notice and that they just go, you know what? This is a damn shame. This is just a damn shame all the way around. We don't wish it. I know my salary increased by half a million dollars this year and I live in a gated community and whatever and I'm fucking got guns and everything, but God, it's just a damn shame. And that's all I can say about it.

If only we lived in that world, it would be a great world. But it does break my brain because it was a woman. And I love when my brain gets broken. Like I've said, it was a woman with a kid, a Hispanic woman. Usually it's a white guy doing the mass shootings. When it comes to just popping them off, I think it's mostly white. And then per capita, you got a lot of the blacks popping off. You don't usually see ladies popping off.

So I like the inclusion aspect of this. I like the diversity aspect of this. I like the equality aspect of this. Here's a woman with schizophrenia rolling into a church with an AR-15. Like I said, the nine iron of long drives. You got to hit the ball deep and far. No, you want your driver.

You want your driver. What am I calling it? A nine iron? Yeah. So I ruined the clip by being stupid. I ruined the clip by not knowing anything about golf. But in long form, it'll still be great. But for a clip, I ruined it. So let me do this for the clip. You watching clip, guys? Like I said, it's the driver of mass shooting. Let me try that again. So it's cleaner. Like I said, the AR-15 is the driver of mass shootings. You got to get the appropriate tool for the job. Clip it. Thank you. Just take that little section there. Who cares about the long form? People don't get past 20 minutes anyway,

because they got no attention span because the CCP has manipulated them to only be watched things in 40 seconds. and when people are dancing or asking you what you do for a living. And if you don't think the CCP fucking has done that, then you got another thing coming. That's another thing. Like, who owns the company? What's Z been doing?

He's been getting his hand into every fucking company a little bit. Again, much like the gun, the brass, the top brass in the gun industry, you just got to hope King Z doesn't notice the damage. Oh, that's a shame. He's just gone. That's a shame.

That's a shame that Americans can't, are getting all their news in 45 second bites and their brains are just sitting there watching fucking hot girls dance. That's a shame. That's just a shame. That's not by design at all. It's just a coincidental shame. The problem with people at the top is often they're maniacal. Often they don't give a shit.

And often they're very, very bright. Very, very bright. You'd be crazy. It would be, you would be surprised to know how aware they are of everything and how much of the damage that is done was known about beforehand. That'll lead to that, but what can you do? You'd be surprised. You think these people are just like, Forrest Gump?

Oh, gee, shucks. Man, I don't even know how this is happening. But yeah, let's make sure we don't change any legislation. But it was a schizophrenic woman with a gun. Ah, that's a damn shame. That's a damn shame. But, you know, this is what we tell the people. If they do that, if they say she can't get a gun, then where does it end?

None of us will have a gun. You just go, that's right. I'm an American. That's right. I'll deal with her. I'll fucking be ready. I've watched Diving Gun Guy a million times. I'll fucking Mark Wahlberg it.

As it comes, this is a perfect mass shooting for the gun industry because it was foiled. Now they're going to celebrate and say, told you, good guy with a gun. And hey, you're right. But let me point out, it was a woman. So women want to know why they get paid less for a job? It's because they don't do as good of a job as a guy.

A guy goes in there, he's getting somebody. Woman goes in there, she only gets herself. I told you they got smaller brains. Can't do the job right. If woman could do the job right and I had a business I'd be hiring all women to save 25 cents on the dollar.

But they can't do the job right. If they could do the job right there'd be more female. What's stopping female comedians? It can't all be Bill Cosby. Men are just better at comedy. I'm doing this for entertainment value with a little kernel of truth. No, I'm joking.

There's no kernel of truth. Well, when it comes to shooting, when it comes to shooting, it's one of those jobs like building a foundation for an addition on your house. If I looked out my kitchen window and I saw seven bolts laying cement i'd go wait a second maybe i hired the wrong contractor is anyone going with a diverse construction group no i want to see little fucking mexican ants with 10 times the strength of an ordinary man. Have you seen the natural man strength on these? You'll see a guy who's much shorter than me just carrying things I can't carry. And no offense to bulls**t,

some of them are very strong, but I don't think they can carry some of the s**t that I've seen these guys carry. Bang it, just crawl on the roof. Same thing with a mass shooting. If I go into a place i see a mass shooter and it's a woman there's a part of me that's gonna go like there's a chance that i'll get out of here you know the kickback gives them a little more you know their bodies are smaller

bone density all that bone density i love the bone bone density it's just you know they're just it's like watching it's like watching a white girl with a pit bull. She's got an AR-15. You know? On the flip side, because of that, maybe I'm going to prefer a man because at least he's going to go after the people he came to kill. He's not going to, a woman's just going to, ah! And, you know, but a guy's got a steady hand. Right.

So there you go. I mean, she was, she came there with the intention of doing something. and you know, but a guy's got a steady hand. Right. Um, so there you go. I mean, she was, she came there with the intention to doing something. She didn't, uh, she didn't do it.

So you draw the conclusion. Was it cause she was a woman? I mean, I don't know. It's like watching, you know, it's like, uh, well,

turning into the WNBA is dunking contest. She's not going to draw as much of a... I mean, this didn't even make the front page because she didn't do a good job. I mean, she went in for a dunk and it fucking went off the rim. I mean, this is very dark humor, but it's very good.

Da-da-da-da. What can I tell you? What can I tell you that I haven't already told you? I've told you it all. Shane Gillis hosted SNL. Did you watch? In the past. I watched parts of it.

Yeah, I watched parts of it. I just was, I watched to the end just to see if him and Bowen Yang would hug. And they did. They did. That's nice. I want people to make a meme of that and just go China, America. we can't get a divorce.

Like the ambassador to China from America said on 60 Minutes, we cannot get a divorce. Okay? You know what our number one customer for our farming exports is? China. You know how many people that employs? You know? Millions and millions and millions.

We can't. We just can't. We got to figure this out. We got to figure this out. President Xi's really took a turn there because he's got a communist heart. He's got a communist heart, which is crazy because his father was like imprisoned by the communists. And then he was raised, he's totally brainwashed. It's like Putin. Putin's got a communist heart. He just has a nationalist,

it's what's in his heart and the heart wants what the heart wants. So you can tell me anything about Putin. You can tell me anything you want. NATO expansion, all this stuff. The man has a USSR communist heart. That's why he was so good at his job. He believed, he loved in it. And what's in a man's heart is what he wants.

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