Yannis Pappas Hour - NYC’s Kangaroo Court Case

Episode Date: April 5, 2024

Yanni rants about the specifics of the Civil Court ruling against Trump. Yanni is no overall fan of Trump, but proves step by step how ridiculous this case is. Also, he reviews the charges that John S...tewart was being hypocritical supporting the ruling. Our bonus episodes are highly rated and viewable here: https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up, everybody? What's up, everybody? If you're watching this on time, I'm in Tulsa right now, April 5th and 6th at Bricktown Comedy Club. Next weekend, Kansas City, April 11th through 13th, Kansas City, Missouri. Los Angeles, May 2nd, Netflix is a Joke Festival. Rally Improv in North Carolina, May 17th and 18th.
Starting point is 00:00:19 Harrah's in Atlantic City, June 22nd. Get your tickets right now at yannispappascomedy.com. Also, join our Patreon for our weekly bonus episodes at patreon.com slash yannispappasour. What's up everybody? Welcome to the Honest Pappas Hour. How are you? I don't care.
Starting point is 00:01:04 I'll never know. It's just a, it it's a formality it's one of those formality how are you let's change it just like we rip down statues let's rip down some of these formalities that don't make any sense right sometimes the zoomers like me got to get involved in this stuff right zoomers got to reevaluate things and see things from another perspective. How are you? Hello. That's a greeting. Hello. That works. But how are you? That's not what this is about. This is not what this is about. How are you? A lot of people don't even know. A lot of people don't even know a lot of people are lost in a uh perception of reality that is dictated by rationalizations so they can't even tell me how they are okay i ask you how are you you don't even know you think you're good but you're not you're blocking out your childhood
Starting point is 00:01:59 so how can you be good you're not good some people say they're great i'm doing great but they don't even know what their potential could be so they think they're doing great but actually they're doing awful they got nothing to compare it to okay so what's the point in asking what's the point in telling how are we really i'll tell you how we are we're alone we're on a ball we're floating in space that we have a limited understanding of we have a limited understanding don't you think god should have told everybody what's up beforehand you know that would have been cool like here this is what's up then everything would run really orderly but he left it to like nobody nobody knows what's up. So everyone's just constantly trying to figure out what's up. Life can be summarized into varying degrees of
Starting point is 00:02:52 trying to figure out what's up, like what's going on. Even in relationships, like what is this? Even when you're married for 10 years, like what's up? Is this still working? Um, is there a God? What's up with that? What's up with God? Why would kids die of cancer? What's up with that? What's the reason there's a bacterial infection? What's up with that? What's up? How do we fix that? What's up with this? What is it? What's it? We're all in a state of constant. What's up with this? We're trying to figure out what's up with this, right? The video stock is through the roof. Is it going to continue?
Starting point is 00:03:30 What's the deal with that? We're all trying to figure out what's the deal with things. What's the deal with this thing? I have what seems like a pimple on my asshole. What's up with that? Hey, doc, what's up with that? Every time you go into a doctor's office, you're basically going, what's up with this? Hey doc, what's up with that? Every time you go into a doctor's office, uh, you're basically going, what's up with this? Hey, I got this issue. What's up with
Starting point is 00:03:50 this? My prostate is swollen and I peed slow last yesterday. What's up with this? Is it something or is it nothing? What's the deal? So what's the Dallas is basically what we're trying to do all the time is figure out what's the deal is. Colin Jost is that looks like the handsomest kid with Down syndrome on the planet. If you don't know who Colin Jost is, you're a Republican because you don't watch us anymore. SNL is just Democrats watching. And here's the deal. We just watched Michael Che and Colin Jost.
Starting point is 00:04:24 And Michael Che is an old friend of mine. I got to say, I thought it was good. We just watched Michael Che and Colin Jost. And Michael Che is an old friend of mine. I got to say, I thought it was good. Good joke. I thought the jokes were good. I mean, you know, the jokes. Yeah. I mean, they got a team of guys helping them out. That's what the Internet did. It kind of pulled back the curtain from that. Right. It used to be like you just go, wow, TV magic. Now you got guys just going off the top of their head being just as entertaining or if not more entertaining. few of them not a lot right i'll be honest about that but you go you know that there's a whole production there's a whole force behind these people and so when they do a bad joke you're going like what's up with that why is there a bad joke in there you guys got 15 people
Starting point is 00:05:02 working on this what's up with that And some of you even have stoppers. What are they called? Starters. You have starters who are just a group of people that Seth Meyers revealed to Howard Stern. Their whole purpose is just to find articles that could be fodder for comedy. So what's up with this, guys? Why is there a bad joke in there? So the internet kind of pulled back the curtain to that a little bit going like um okay um james corbin what's up with that why why james corbin right the only one because the
Starting point is 00:05:32 rest of them are fucking great i can't wait to go see jimmy kimmel do an hour what's up with that you know that's what the internet did but yeah colin Jost is a handsome guy, but he does look like his parents prayed really hard when he was born, and God granted the prayer that he won't have Down syndrome in his brain, but he will have it in his face. He is the handsomest. He could play,
Starting point is 00:05:59 if there was a movie about people with Down syndrome, he could play, he's got down syndrome leading man face he's got the he's he's he could be in a down syndrome world if they had their own country he would be tom cruise he'd be the movie star he's got down syndrome movie star looks he does look downsy on the face so his parents prayed it away and it worked but god said here's the deal the face has got to stay and i like him uh there there's the guy from my second life who was an actor i love down syndrome people i can make these jokes my brother is um special needs i don't know why that gives me license isn't that
Starting point is 00:06:38 funny you can say the worst things and you go like it's okay you could you could be candace owens getting like look black people are all lazy and they're good for nothing it's okay i'm black and you're like it is a little weird but also that's not cool also that's not cool yanni that's not cool at all but i thought the jokes were good i thought the jokes were good yeah you just you know now we have something to compare it to it's like figuring out what happened to you as a child. You don't know until you have kids. And then you're like, oh yeah, my parents did ignore me and treated me like they regretted having me. A lot of parents probably just go, oh, this is a thing. They're going, what's up with this? We thought it was supposed to keep our marriage together. And it didn't. We did it to
Starting point is 00:07:18 save a marriage. It didn't work. What's up with that, God? Oh, we should get a divorce. I don't care about him. I don't care about the kid I just I care about me I want to be happy What's up with this? So it's like Now that the internet's around
Starting point is 00:07:32 We have something to compare it to And there's constantly People making sketches There's constantly people And often times They do it on their own Right? So
Starting point is 00:07:41 But it doesn't mean That a lot of the stuff on SNL Is not good at times I thought Rami's monologue Was decent I thought it was pretty good own right so um but doesn't mean that a lot of the stuff on snl is not good at times i thought rami's monologue was decent i thought it was pretty good i mean i thought it was pretty good i thought it was pretty good i think he's a talented guy you like the little free palestine plug you know he got it in there and he covered his bases with the also free the hostages it was an afterthought he had to throw it in i mean he is on a show that's run by a non-Christmas celebrator.
Starting point is 00:08:07 So he had to throw it in there. But, dude, the reason why the war started is long forgotten. That's not even part. It's like, I don't even remember where. First of all, free the hostages. They can't even free themselves. They're under rubble. I mean, I don't even think Israel's plan was to free the hostages.
Starting point is 00:08:23 That's a weird plan to free the hostages if you're just going to fucking bomb them on top of them. I think Israel's, I think, and it's not Israel, it's Benjamin Netanyahu, who's really testing, he's testing every world leader's fucking patience right now. He's also testing people who support Israel's patience because he is a little heavy handed. We've made jokes about it all the time. He's a little heavy-handed. And, yeah, I don't know. There's a lot to criticize, right? It's like maybe, I mean, you could have lied and said,
Starting point is 00:08:52 hey, it's a ceasefire, freed the hostages, and then kept going, right? But it doesn't seem like there's too much concern for the hostages when you're bombing on top of them. You want to see a good tightrope walk? I want to see a good body, and there is one. listen to this who's this aoc on israel i just like this interview because this is a full body shot you got a bunch of you rarely get a full body shot of aoc and she's rarely not wearing a business suit uh if you're watching this on the main
Starting point is 00:09:22 yeah i don't know if they're going to, I just adjusted my balls. I'm hoping it's just a Patreon, but I feel a little that the main episode was lackluster, so this may come out as the main. Not that we don't value the Patreon members, but there's a lot less of you. So I got to make a good impression. Yeah, but they pay.
Starting point is 00:09:41 They do pay, but unless they get more people to pay, I'm moving to Canada. it's my solution for everything but uh i am of course the dynamic there in terms of geopolitics i just want to reiterate i believe she is disturbingly uh attractive you're a big fan dude she's so attractive okay anyway is very different than people expressing their First Amendment right to protest. Well, yes, but I also think that what people are starting to see, at least in the occupation of Palestine, is just an increasing crisis of humanitarian condition. And that, to me, is just where I tend to come from on this issue. You use the term the occupation of Palestine. What did you mean by that?
Starting point is 00:10:32 Oh, I think what I meant is like... You saw her thoughts go, oh my God, I forgot I'm from New York. The settlements that are increasing in some of these areas and places where Palestinians are experiencing difficulty in access to their housing and homes. Do you think you can expand on that? Yeah. I mean, I think I'd also just, I am not the expert on geopolitics get me out of this conversation she wants out she wanted out she wanted out it's good it's a confusing one for her i think her friends got mad at her for this this was a while ago wasn't it could be yeah so i think
Starting point is 00:11:17 she i think her friends got mad i think rashid rashid quality got very upset with her about this you can see the wheels turning right she got very upset it's like why. You can see the wheels turning, right? She got very upset. It's like, why are you two-siding this? Why are you two-siding this? Oh, Israel and Palestine. The gift that never stops giving in conflict. I've seen
Starting point is 00:11:40 people accuse me like I'm so pro-Israel. I'm not even pro-America. I'm not pro-anything. If you listen to this podcast, I'm pro-people and individuals and peace. And I will just say, you know, it's like the ball, it's too far gone. You know? It's like two sides buttoned their heads again.
Starting point is 00:12:02 Like they're not, they're not willing. Nobody's willing to make a deal. That's why we got to get Tani T back in office because he's the deal maker. I love how he answers the question like he doesn't answer the question. He just goes, if I was in office, it wouldn't be happening. And that's just the end of it. He just goes, it wouldn't be happening. Ukraine, Russia, what do you think? I just think you guys made a mistake by not putting me in office because if I was, it wouldn't be happening.
Starting point is 00:12:24 Let me talk about something else, Pat. If I was in office, it wouldn't happen. It wouldn't be. What about all these fentanyl decks? You guys, if they didn't steal the election from me, we wouldn't even know that there was a such thing as a fentanyl deck. Israel and Palestine wouldn't be happening. Can I interest you in a Bible? Can I interest you in a Bible?
Starting point is 00:12:43 I got a lot of them in my house he's got a bible with the constitution in it and the bill of rights not a great look for a presidential candidate to be selling bibles but they are hitting him over the head with all these fines he's got he's got he's got to pay a lot of money to a a woman who seems very believable and he's got to pay And he's got to pay in New York City because in New York City, he exaggerated the size of his apartment. That's what they got him on. So I did a lot of research on this. I went all the way in on this issue.
Starting point is 00:13:30 of research on this. I went all the way in on this issue, the civil court ruling by the attorney general's office on Donald Trump and what exactly happened. Okay. So he, according to the bank and according to everybody, it's quite common practice for people to exaggerate their worth to get a loan, especially people who have a lot of cash, a lot of properties, maybe some celebrity tied in in there. how risky it is and how legitimate it is. And it's not out of the ordinary for them to adjust with their own orders. I guess you would call them or assessors. What would you call them? Investigators, financial,
Starting point is 00:14:15 but whatever they are, whatever their proper moniker is, they do their due diligence, run their investigation. And it's not a typical at all for them to adjust the wealth of the entity or person who's applying for the loan and what they represented as being their worth. Specifically, Deutsch cited an instance where they had to adjust Trump's wealth by like $2 billion. And then afterwards, the guy who was testifying on behalf of that fact said, that's not atypical.
Starting point is 00:14:55 That's a big amount, right? So they're aware of it. It's not atypical, and it's not disqualifying as far as the bank goes. So what the focus seemed to be is the square footage of the penthouse. So he said his penthouse was a lot bigger than it was to inflate the wealth of the about his net worth or whatever his worth. First of all, worth is something that's hard to pin down, right? Because it's subject to the market. Maybe you can negotiate.
Starting point is 00:15:32 That's what a negotiation is, right? Maybe it is. Maybe because someone's buying Donald Trump's apartment, they'd be willing to pay so much over market value. I love Jon Stewart, but Jon Stewart criticized Donald Trump, and it was a big miss, in my opinion. It was a big miss, and what Internet sleuths found out was that his apartment, which had a market value
Starting point is 00:15:59 of like $1.something million, sold for $17 million. Who knows why the guy bought it but then when the guy resold it he he sold it for like a loss of three million dollars right and people go there's nothing illegal of course there's nothing illegal about people who say that are kind of missing the point and i've noticed on twitter a lot of them are bots there because they all said the same thing john stewart did nothing illegal of course it's a market sale market value is not the same as that but it's. But what he's being accused of is hypocrisy, not doing something illegal. Let me explain this to you, right? Because he was criticizing Trump for devaluing his property for
Starting point is 00:16:36 tax purposes. So you want to know the taxes that John paid on his apartment when he sold it? He didn't pay the taxes on the $17 million. He paid them on the not $1 million. It was even valued as less. He paid taxes on like $800-something thousand dollars on those taxes. Second of all, the owner does not set the worth, the value of the apartment. That's done without their cooperation. So Trump paid taxes on what his
Starting point is 00:17:11 properties were deemed to be worth, the same as Jon Stewart. And similarly, the market value of his property was not the same as the value of his property, right? The assessed value of his property. So it's very similar in that you're going in the free market system. It's very malleable about what the actual value is and what the market value is. You're buying Jon Stewart's apartment. That's worth another mil or two, right? Who's to say it's not?
Starting point is 00:17:42 It's Donald Trump saying his value. How can you say? And in fact, a lot of the strategy as it came out of deutsch bank who did business with trump multiple times was that he's a celebrity and like this will attract other celebrity client like they wanted to do it to be in business with him they gave him the loan right they got paid back the loan they made money on the loan because the loan comes with interest. So they didn't get their money back. It was a business deal. It's a business deal, right?
Starting point is 00:18:12 The two free market entities get in bed to execute and both of them left satisfied. And both of them left satisfied. So the fraud comes on the, the fraud is specifically tied to the misrepresenting of the square footage. So the investigators at the bank can't call up the building and find out. I mean,
Starting point is 00:18:44 I mean, how could you not know the square footage? I don't even think the bank is claiming to not know the square footage. The attorney general is saying he lied about the square footage and the bank is probably, how's the bank not know he's lying about, they've caught him lying about his worth or they've adjusted his worth because it's not really a lie, right? Because how do you measure your worth, right? You're a celebrity. Things are worth a little more, let's be honest, right? If you're willing to give the loan or not give the loan.
Starting point is 00:19:10 These are entities that can protect themselves. They're not like naive people who've been scammed by crypto maniacs or whatever the case may have you. They haven't been unknowingly defrauded. Is that the right word? Right? They haven't unknowingly been defrauded. Is that the right word?
Starting point is 00:19:32 Sure. Yeah. You don't know. You're just fucking making me look bad. No. That sounds right. And typically this law that she used has never been used in this way. So when this goes to appeal, where the attorney general's office might come into trouble
Starting point is 00:19:48 is if the attorney general goes, wait a second, this law is for victims. There's no victim here, and the bank didn't ask you. And usually the attorney general is working on behalf of a victim who got defrauded, right? The bank was well aware that he inflates his value and they gave him the loan. So, and then Jon Stewart tried to say there's no innocent victims. The funny thing is that even the attorney's general's office put this forth.
Starting point is 00:20:22 The victim is the bank. The quote-unquote victim, the purported victim, purported victim, is the bank, right? And then also he said the taxpayers. We'll get to that in a second. But the bank,
Starting point is 00:20:36 because the bank could have charged a much higher interest rate. Oh. Yeah. He's fighting for the banks now. So now, well, Jon Stewart actually made a comment. He's fighting for the banks now. So now, well, Jon Stewart actually made a comment.
Starting point is 00:20:48 He's like, who cares about that? But he's like, he had to make that comment, right? Because he had to pay Andrew too. He remembered what his base was. He's like, but who cares about that point? But it's like, yeah, that's the only point. I mean, how are the taxpayers hurt? What's the argument that the taxpayers were?
Starting point is 00:21:03 How are the taxpayers hurt? This loan went to that the taxpayers were? How are the taxpayers hurt? This loan went to him that didn't want to go to somebody else? Well, that's on the bank. That's on the bank. They approved the fucking loan. They wanted to do it. They wanted to be in business with Donald Trump. For all the reasons that I just mentioned, money, celebrity, et cetera, his value.
Starting point is 00:21:24 They deemed it a safe investment for them. And they gave him the money. And guess what? It turned out it was the right call. They got their money back with interest, which means they made money, which is how banks make money. You get worked up. I mean, because it's, you know, you don't have to be a fan of Donald Trump to notice what kind of kangaroo shit this is. I didn't finish my point.
Starting point is 00:21:46 So what the appeal judge, the appeal process might find is that the attorney general overstepped her bounds, her jurisdiction, her judicial duty because she is essentially criminalizing lying. I mean, is that a crime to lie? Is it a crime to lie? People will say, oh, it's a crime to falsify loan documents. Dude, people, we all do that. It's like going 75 into 67. You know what I'm saying? It's against the law.
Starting point is 00:22:24 But if you're trying to get a job, and that's your document, who hasn't exaggerated a little bit on their resume? Who doesn't inflate a little bit? If you're trying to get a loan, right? If you lie on your loan thing, it's a crime. You know? The bank just denies you.
Starting point is 00:22:43 They just deny you if they deem it now if you if if you if you uh if you lie and they lose money guess what the bank's gonna win it's a win-win for the bank right because they're like yeah let's do it and that's why they're fucking nobody's paying attention to the bank nobody's blaming the bank i thought we were the party of occupy wall street not me specifically but i'm saying i thought you were the party of occupy wall to the bank. Nobody's blaming the bank. I thought we were the party of Occupy Wall Street. Not me specifically, but I'm saying I thought you were the party of Occupy Wall Street. The bank's giving the loan knowing that, hey, we're either going to get our money back, which we think we are, right? That's why we're doing it. That's the primary reason to make money. And if we don't, maybe we can catch him on this. He lied about the square footage of the department
Starting point is 00:23:20 and then we'll bring it to the attorney general and then we'll fuck him. But that didn't happen. of the department, and then we'll bring it to the attorney general, and then we'll fuck him. But that didn't happen. So the attorney general just proactively acted on behalf of the bank who was not asking for their help because he lied about the square footage. Technically, you could say it's a crime, but so is going 72 in a 65. It makes it seem targeted. In fact, going 75 in a 62 is more dangerous than what happened here
Starting point is 00:23:47 because you're going too fast and you can hurt somebody. Nobody can get hurt here. So what victims are you trying to argue? It's other people who could have got the loan. No, that's the bank's call. That's not up to Dr. Joe. That's the bank. So why are you yelling at Trump?
Starting point is 00:24:01 Yell at the bank. Why isn't anyone going to the bank? Why did you give him this loan? You're acting like the bank didn't know the fucking square footage of his fucking apartment? Is there anything I'm saying that's crazy? Seriously. From a nonpartisan objective point of view, is there anything I'm saying that's fucking crazy? Correct.
Starting point is 00:24:18 You're telling me they fucking adjusted his wealth one time by at least $2 billion. I can't remember. It was billions of dollars. But they don't know the square footage of his fucking apartment? I mean, so they know one thing, but they don't know the square footage, which is something you can go look at a record of. But somehow they know that he's off by $2 billion. Right?
Starting point is 00:24:44 That's like missing a mountain and seeing a fucking ant. How are you able to see one and not the other? There's square footage of his fucking apartment. They knew he was lying on the fucking application. The point is they didn't care. They don't care. This is Donald Trump, and that's what fucking rich people get away with. Basically, you're just seeing what rich people get away with,
Starting point is 00:25:03 and part of it is because they have the confidence that this motherfucker is rich and he's a celebrity. He's worth something. We're going to get our fucking money back. He's an experienced real estate developer. We believe in this property. We believe in what he's doing. We're going to get our money back.
Starting point is 00:25:15 And they did, right? And they did get their money. They did get it back. So what's the fucking crime here? Who's the victim? And so they try to make the victim. They go, the victim is the taxpayers. Now, how are the taxpayers the victim? I don't even remember the argument you made, but what is the way that the taxpayer could have been a victim? I don't
Starting point is 00:25:32 understand. Maybe I'm missing something. We got to pull it up. Maybe I'm missing something. Maybe there's something missing. But I know that the primary victim is the bank because they could have charged higher interest rates if they would have known that he was inflating his value. Newsflash. They did know. They did know. They've known before. They knew that time.
Starting point is 00:25:55 They're not a fucking naive. You're talking about a financial institution. That's their business is to give loans to people. You don't think they do due diligence to figure out if the person can pay this back? I don't know. Oh, you think the banks can't handle this? Yeah, the banks can't. So now we're acting like the banks can't handle it?
Starting point is 00:26:17 They're overwhelmed. They're overwhelmed. They're not making enough money. So I don't know if we can play this because it might be under a um copyright law all right so there is good reason for why i don't necessarily understand how the taxpayers were hurt um and i found out what it is the key argument is that trump systematically inflated the value of his assets to secure favorable loans and tax treatment at the direct expense of taxpayers who had to make up the difference the lawsuit and penalties are aimed at clawing back these ill gotten gains.
Starting point is 00:26:48 Now here's where the hypocrisy comes in. Um, John Stewart, um, sold his apartment for 17 million. He paid taxes on 800 plus thousand dollars. So did the taxpayers have to make up the difference there? And also how is the tax set?
Starting point is 00:27:08 How is the tech set? You're going to learn it right here. You're going to learn it right here. How it's the County clerk's office. How are the taxes on your property, on your property determined, right? Let's see. The property's assessed value is the key factor in determining the property tax.
Starting point is 00:27:33 The local tax assessor determines the assessed value, which is usually less than the property's market value. So it is the local tax assessor Or the county clerk's office, right? The assessed value is calculated by multiplying the property's appraised value By an assessment ratio set by state law So it has nothing to do with the market value And it has nothing to do with how much you How much you portray your
Starting point is 00:28:00 How much you Portray your worth to be. It's got nothing to do with that. It's assessed by someone else. It's not assessed by what you said on the loan document. So it is hypocrisy because Jon Stewart paid taxes on the assessed tax value, which was even lower than the 1,000.
Starting point is 00:28:24 And then he sold it for 17 million, which is way over value. So there's no difference. I do love Jon Stewart. I think he's brilliant. I just thought this was a very big miss. And I did watch it, and he did kind of just, he kind of just, you know, he skedaddled real quick over, well, the banks could have charged interest rates, but who cares about that?
Starting point is 00:28:49 And then he just went real quick where you're going like, that's what the attorney general's office was claiming was the victim. That and the taxpayers and the taxpayers because they had to make up the difference because Donald Trump's not paying his fair share. First of all, he's way not the only one. his fair share. First of all, he's way not the only one. Second of all, they do it by taking advantage of all these laws that are in their favor and singling him out just seems a little fucking odd. It seems a little fucking odd. And then trying to get him on this law that has the purpose of protecting people who were the victims of fraud and has never been used in this way before is odd. It's odd. And you can make a very strong argument that she's overstepping her bounds and her duty. Her duty is not to judge business deals in the free market. Her duty is to protect victims
Starting point is 00:29:42 of financial crimes, people who've been scammed and frauded. If the bank wasn't scammed, how could they be scammed if they knew? They don't have to say that they know, right? But they kind of did in testimony, said, well, let me tell you, for example, one time we had to adjust what he said his worth was down to $2 million, and then they followed up
Starting point is 00:30:03 by saying that that is not atypical. That's a very common thing with these loans is that we adjust, we do our due diligence and we adjust and we come to an agreement and we loan out what we think can be loaned out. So what's the difference between me going, Hey man, the last gig I got, well, I got paid 400 grand. I'm lying. And they agree to it do i go to jail do
Starting point is 00:30:26 i have to pay a fucking 400 million dollar bond well that's the other thing the price well where did they come up with that where they come up with a 450 what do you have to pay 450 million dollars but then it got reduced down to 175 yeah so he had to pay for it was originally originally it's for it so where do you come up with that figure how do you calculate exactly oh we're making up for the tax it's like a shakedown it's almost like a fucking shakedown the some people were saying they were trying to cripple him you know because then what they could do is if he can't make the the payment then they could take it seems that way because to me i guess falsifying loan documents is i guess a crime i guess but so is going 72 and it's 65 that's a crime you've committed a crime not to mention she's new york's lawyer new york has a lot of
Starting point is 00:31:15 problems right now and that's what yeah but that yeah that's that's i'm just yeah that's i'm sticking to i want to stick to the fucking actual thing that happened. Right. Like, yeah, you could argue, but other people would say, but you got it. We got to make these billionaires accountable. It's like, how about we make the banks accountable? How about the banks? It's not the responsibility of the person to accurately portray their value. Um, you know, against the fucking banks, these scumbags who fucking charge us fucking money, who lend out our money to other people and go, hopefully this thing won't crash. You know, who fucking set these rates and just bleed us and give us credit cards and
Starting point is 00:31:56 get everyone addicted to buying things they can't afford because it's good for their business because they make interest on it. You know, they, when you want that refrigerator, don't you? Well, I got well i got a way you could do it uh i'm uh i'm what you call a legitimate loan shark i know you can't if i know you're a degenerate gambler but i'm giving you this loan because i know you got this store and instead of you know you know the mob would go like this i'll loan you the money right even though they know he's a degenerate gamble only because they know they got some store and they go guess what you can't pay the loan first of all we break your legs and squeeze every dime out of you if not we take your house we take that we take your store now we're
Starting point is 00:32:31 your silent partner in the store that's how it goes and we run that and what do we do there we run that into the ground we get in silent part and then we order all this shit and file for bankruptcy and that's how they do that right so what do the banks do they go all right we your assets. I mean, we take what we can, and the majority of people will be slaves to these fucking, the interest we charge them. And if we lose one, we lose one. We file for bank, you know, the government bails us out. The taxpayers bail out the banks. Didn't the taxpayers bail out the banks in 2008? Those are the victims. they're victims of the banks not donald trump it's very interesting this was a massive swing and a miss for john stewart i'll just be honest that was my opinion of it it was a massive like he was trying to say this wasn't a victimless crime
Starting point is 00:33:19 and what he quoted as the victims was the taxpayers. I still don't understand how. Um, and he, like I said, he really mumbled over that. The banks, uh, couldn't charge a high search. I try to say,
Starting point is 00:33:32 let's make sure they can do that. Let's really make sure the banks can do that. Not the business, not the person trying to get the loan for business to create jobs and do all this. This is like an attack on our system. It's an attack on you know america's number why does america have the number one economy because people trust it because courts don't do shit like this because we have a judicial process if someone gets frauded they go you know this kid just got what
Starting point is 00:34:02 he got 25 years who uh the fucking finger sniffer from the Cayman Islands. FTX. Yeah, yeah. He got 25 years. That's right, yeah. That's a good amount of time. That's a lot of time. Sam Bankman-Fried.
Starting point is 00:34:13 Sam Bankman-Fried. Like, I thought he was going to get a slap on the wrist, but they threw the book at him. Sometimes a lot of these scumbags get slapped on the wrist and people go to countries corrupt. Here's the thing. You're comparing it to a vacuum in a perfect world this country's corrupt but when you compare it to every other country we're doing
Starting point is 00:34:29 pretty good minus a bunch of them in europe not the same yeah some of them could be a little shady switzerland um but a lot of other ones are you know the same so it's like this this is an attack on a businessman who was trying to get a loan. Everyone's going to try to inflate. If you're trying to get a loan, you want to get the best interest rate possible. So everyone's going to inflate to a certain degree. They say, this is what I want. This is the loan I want.
Starting point is 00:34:58 And the bank says, okay, we'll come look at the property. So let's say you want $4 billion. Bank looks at the property, says, you know what? I'll give you one. Yeah. I'll give you one. You're saying you're worth worth this i don't think you're worth this right um and whoops we forgot to we forgot to measure your apartment we forgot to really get the ruler down on your apartment we could have looked that up anywhere i mean it's is it not public record how big his
Starting point is 00:35:18 fucking apartment is i mean how can you even hide that so he wrote it down on the thing i think he even said in his testimony it was a mistake how can you argue it wasn't how can you even hide that? So he wrote it down on the thing. I think he even said in his testimony it was a mistake. How can you argue it wasn't? How can you prove it wasn't a mistake? It's like Joe Biden says, he goes, oh, I had, it was a mistake. I forgot. And they just go, all right, we take your word for it. It appears to be lawfare.
Starting point is 00:35:37 It appears to be that they're trying to take him down to the system. It's his personality they go after, right? Because him and Joe Biden did the same crime. They had classified documents. Joe Biden had them for a lot longer when he was a fucking senator vice president at least trump was president right but even still supposedly trump afterwards because trump's a fucking idiot and he's a fucking narcissist and he fucking he goes for the jugular and he can't admit defeat in anything i mean he, he's worse than Michael Jordan.
Starting point is 00:36:05 Um, he's going, uh, fuck you. I, I, I'm the president. I classify and then he's trying to hide him. He's trying to move them.
Starting point is 00:36:10 He's obstructing justice. And that's really what he's in trouble for. Right. Um, whereas Biden cooperated. So it was the way the crime was the same, right? The crime was the same,
Starting point is 00:36:22 but it's the way they acted afterwards, which is different right so because trump's this boisterous person you know fuck he's always just gonna fuck you he gets a gag order he's like fuck that gag order you know well it's good for his brand he's just defiant right yeah but that always his numbers go up yeah it works for his brand and look if i was the left i'd say hey man we got this fucking hush money we have this uh election uh fraud thing in georgia those are real cases those are real things that he did what the fuck are we doing in new york city all you're doing i don't know who's behind the fucking look first of all it's i'm not saying it's a left-wing conspiracy i don't know who's behind the fucking law. First of all, I'm not saying it's a left-wing conspiracy. I don't know that.
Starting point is 00:37:05 But it looks like it is. So if it is and you're playing dirty ball like that, why won't you at least be smart with your dirty ball and go, why the fuck would we delegitimize? Why would we bring the focus away? Why would we give any fodder to the other side and undermine those other legitimate cases, right, where there's evidence and like you
Starting point is 00:37:26 know you can make a case like look dude the guy called and was like get me those votes and he's denying the election and he's saying inflammatory things to spark an insurrection uh yeah uh whatever you want to call protests whatever whoever's watching protests or insurrection whatever you want to call it they broke into the fucking capital i don't know were they let in i don't know some of them were let in some of those cops vote right so that's probably why a lot of them were let in nobody ever says that you know it's always some like i could have been some people are like oh it could have been the fbi having informants maybe they did maybe they did because they they definitely had some informants working with those people who were trying to kidnap the governor of that state right some
Starting point is 00:38:01 informants who were like egging that dude on oh michigan right michigan right so maybe they did have people egging them i'm sure they did that still doesn't mean that they're not guilty of going in if someone tells you to jump off the bridge you know i mean it's a little entrapment i don't know but still i think you're the party of personal responsibility right don't fucking break into the capitol even if someone's going, come on, let's go in. Don't go. It's against the law, right? Or nobody brings up this point. There's a lot of those fucking cops that like Trump, right? And maybe some of them are going like, come on, guys.
Starting point is 00:38:33 I'll fucking, I'll let you in. Do what you got to do. Look the other way. Whoops, I forgot about the cameras. Maybe that's, maybe that, maybe that's that too. I bet you both were present a little bit. I bet you there was definitely FBI informants there. And I bet you definitely there was some cops who were just like Trump 2024. I bet you Sean Terry present a little bit I bet you there was definitely FBI informants there And I bet you definitely there were some cops
Starting point is 00:38:46 Who were just like Trump 2024 I bet you Sean Terry was there in uniform And he was going I agree with what you're fucking doing They stole the selection Trump 2024 And they maybe did like a secret signal Like a little handshake And they opened the door
Starting point is 00:38:57 Right? But that at least has some sort of argument There's some argument to be I don't even understand the argument here in new york city well she did run on this leticia james she ran on she ran i'm gonna take it take down trump take down trump and people voted for this in new york yeah because they want to take him down so she just tried to find the thing and this is what she could tie him on yeah it's a campaign promise and this is what she tied him to. She found this, and she tied him to this law,
Starting point is 00:39:25 which has never been used for this purpose, has only been used to protect victims, people who've, and what I mean by victims, people who've lost money, people who've been lied to, and then they lost money because they were naive and they couldn't protect themselves. That's the most important part. That's her function, is to protect people
Starting point is 00:39:43 who can't protect themselves. That's why they need part. That's her function, is to protect people who can't protect themselves. That's why they need the Attorney General's office. The bank, the bank, Deutsch, does not need the Attorney General's office to fucking help them, especially evinced by the fact, if you don't know the word evinced, get smarter, evinced by the fact that they didn't ask,
Starting point is 00:40:02 and they didn't ask because they made money and they did it willingly and they knew. Okay, so let's stop fucking beating around that fact the fact is the bank knew he was exaggerating the bank didn't care about the square footage of his fucking apartment they knew so shut the fuck up you're looking like a moron john smith john called him john smith john stewart you made yourself look stupid It was a little partisan hackery there. If you wanted to do a good job, you should have focused on those other two fucking things and maybe made fun of this one
Starting point is 00:40:31 because ain't nothing going to change about the reality that Yanni just said to you. It's the objective reality. It's given to me by God because God speaks through me and God wants Trump to win. Oh, no. That sounded like an endorsement to me
Starting point is 00:40:46 No, I went through this with a comb I went through this with a comb And the advantage of listening to this podcast is I'm not scared to go after anyone I just told you I think the other two cases are kind of legitimate I think there's a legitimate probable cause in those two Hush money, that's bad You know, you pay some fucking hush money
Starting point is 00:41:04 I mean, come on if the shoe was on the other foot and fucking joe biden was caught to pay a porn star hush money to keep it quiet what would they be doing what would they be doing so that's a serious thing the other thing is fucking the election denial and uh fucking calling calling um calling making a phone call to george saying find me those votes i mean you're like you're you're putting your arm on them a little bit now those cases got pushed back right they got pushed back yeah so they might not affect the election they may not affect the election but they're legitimate cases at least things that he fucking did that like are could be crimes this is a crime fucking lying on a loan application the deutsch bank
Starting point is 00:41:44 Prime fucking lying on a loan application to Deutsche Bank. Again, I'll say the last sentence, the bank knew. So who got who's the victim? The bank knew. Right. Here's the perfect example. I say I'm worth 400,000. I got paid 400,000 on my last gig. I'm inflating it to make people think I get one.
Starting point is 00:42:03 Let's say I went high and said four. I'm inflating it to make people think I get one. Let's say I went high and said four. And then the person buyer knows I'm lying, right? Because 400 is obvious bluster, right? But then they go, you know what? The guy knows Joe Rogan. This may just be good for business.
Starting point is 00:42:22 Maybe we give him this deal. We tell him, talk good about this gig. Maybe we score Joe Rogan. That's what happened here. That's what this is. Donald Trump's a celebrity. You know, that's what this is. Right. And then I go put on an amazing show and it sells tickets and everyone's happy. So I lied, right? I didn't get paid 400 on my last gig, but they agreed to give it to me. So then they come back and prosecute me for lying. Let's say I even put it in writing. So now I'm getting prosecuted for putting it in writing.
Starting point is 00:42:50 I get prosecuted for a lie? Morally, that's the same. I don't know what laws are on the books. I guess it's on the books that you can't lie on a loan application, whatever the fuck that means. I'm sure everyone does it. It's like going 75 and a 60, 72 and into 65, but that would be morally the same anatomy. They say yes because they know I'm lying, but they say yes because they think it'll be good for business generally and they'll get paid back. So what is it? What are you looking up? 10 strange laws still on the books in New
Starting point is 00:43:22 York. Okay. Carrying an ice cream in your pocket on Sundays is against the law. That's against the law. There's a $25 fine for flirting. That's still on the books. No speaking to anyone in elevators. That's still on the books. It's illegal to throw a ball at someone's head.
Starting point is 00:43:35 That's a good one. It's on the books, but I don't know if you go to jail for that. Can't sell dog or cat fur. It's a good one. Wearing slippers after 10 p.m. is prohibited. So those are still in the books, right? Now, look, this law is good if it's used for what it's intended to be used for.
Starting point is 00:43:51 This is not what it's intended to be used for. So you very well may see that come to fruition as a ruling in the appeal process where the judge goes, the attorney general is going way out of the scope of what her duty is. And then they just throw it out. I mean, if that happens, you heard it here first. You know what I mean? Because I really, I read the whole thing. I read it from every angle.
Starting point is 00:44:16 I read the people who were saying, like saying it wasn't hypocrisy with John. And it is hypocrisy because he paid taxes on the undervalued sum and he sold it for 17 million. So he didn't say to the guy, whoa, whoa, whoa, it's not worth 17 million, guy. Whoa, whoa, come on, come on.
Starting point is 00:44:36 It's worth one. I'm John Stewart. Give it to me for four, okay? Just give it to me for four. That's inflated enough. He took a 700 and something plus percent market inflation and he put it in his pocket because that's our system. You know what you're worth? You're worth what someone's willing to give you.
Starting point is 00:44:55 That's what you're worth. And you negotiate that process. The bank's not an exception to that when they give you a loan. They assume risks. They do due diligence. It's just funny. The whole thing rests on ignoring the fact that the victim here is supposed to be the bank.
Starting point is 00:45:13 And everyone, they're trying to ignore that. I mean, like, it's the taxpayers because he didn't, he paid it on his, he undervalued it when he was paying. Of course he's going to undervalue it, like we all do. Like everyone does. when he was paying, of course he's going to undervalue, like we all do, like everyone does, but he doesn't have to give the accurate value when he's trying to get a loan or when he's trying to sell something, nobody pays taxes on that price, everyone pays taxes on the assessed price, he's got no control over what that price is, so what the fuck is the argument here,
Starting point is 00:45:41 you're just ignoring the fact that you're trying to say this is a crime and you're arguing on behalf of the banks and boy what a turn of events they got liberals protecting banks so i'm sorry it was an 829 percent overvalue so i was either undervaluing his overvalue of 829 he sold it for 17 plus million dollars so there is some hypocrisy in making the argument that he hurt the taxpayers by undervaluing his properties for tax purposes and overvaluing it for a loan because the anatomy is the same. Selling it or getting the loan, it's the same. It's the morality of it.
Starting point is 00:46:27 There's no crime in that one. I guess there's a little bit of a crime on the books about lying on a loan application. Again, $450 million crime that nobody else does, by the way. I'm sure Trump's the only one. I'm sure he's the only single person who's done that. I mean, you really open opened up a can of worms. Let's go look at some of these loans. Some liberals have, billionaires
Starting point is 00:46:52 have asked for. You're going to find it, and the bank's going to go, what the fuck are you doing? We knew. The fuck? We made our own assessment. We decided it's a private bank. We fucking loan out what we want to loan out. I don't even understand this. I don't even understand this trial. The bank fucking makes their own decisions. They're a big boy. They're feder private bank. We fucking loan out what we want to loan out. I don't even understand this. I don't even understand this trial. The bank fucking makes their own decisions.
Starting point is 00:47:07 They're a big boy. They're federally protected. The fuck? They got tons of other people's money. It's a big deal. All right. I guess this is a good time to reveal the fact that I've been hired as Trump's lawyer. I am Trump's lawyer and spokesperson for uh this 2024
Starting point is 00:47:27 campaign and i just wanted to let you know that this podcast is indirectly quote unquote indirectly um the uh the thoughts and perspective of uh our president to be and i want you to know that i'm here to advocate on his behalf the whole time it's what we are in america right now everything i said right now is just it's so right i know i'm wrong a lot but it's so right but people who fucking hate trump are gonna just listen to this and go like you're you're wrong but i'm not wrong i'm admitting okay i guess in the books it's a crime to lie to lie on an application to mis misrepresent your worth on a loan application. I guess that's a crime.
Starting point is 00:48:07 I guess nobody's done it. I guess he's the only one that's done it. Did I miss anything? I think what people forget is that this train goes both ways. So your guy's not going to be in power at some point, and they can do these same tricks. They can do the same thing when AOC is president. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:48:26 But who we can? She's not a real estate developer they only catch her lying about if she's got a zin in her pocket that she paid for or not she's like wait you gave me two zins hey i know she'll have one in her pocket and a third one in her pocket once you open the door to this kind of stuff though yeah you could target anyone for any little type of can you prosecute someone for lying especially when the other party assumes you're lying i mean you're gonna now you're legislating lying lying is a crime that's weird dude that's weird you're gonna have to go into every rap song and be like do you really have 18 hoes do you really have 14 bentley's you know did that story you told really happen in that comedy skit okay it's not a crime right should
Starting point is 00:49:15 hassan minaj go to jail no should he be ridiculed on my podcast yes stood should steve rennazisi be fined 450450 million? You could say he defrauded the taxpayers, right? They paid for his shows. Those tickets were taxed, right? There was another comedian who could have got the opportunities that he got building his career off this hero narrative. God, I hear he's a nice guy. I'm sorry I'm doing this.
Starting point is 00:49:43 But you just got to live with these for the rest of your life, right? I bet you, even if I was friends with him, I hear he's a nice guy. I'm sorry I'm doing this. But you just gotta live with these for the rest of your life, right? I bet you, even if I was friends with him, I would still be saying this stuff. Thankfully, I'm not. Because I'd be feeling a lot more guilty if I was. But anyway, why would I be feeling guilty? I'm the one that did 9-11 disaster relief. But I have a good heart. He's a good guy. He admitted it. You gotta
Starting point is 00:50:00 fucking give some credit to someone who just takes it. Who just says, it would have been, I would have had a lot more respect if Hassan just said i know i did it i was fucking doing it to look cool to fucking gain some fucking social justice points it's what my fan base wants to hear fuck you got me wouldn't that be great if hassan minaj just said that right even about the girlfriend shit even if he wanted to keep that lie i wouldn wouldn't give him like, listen, listen. Yeah. She fucking look at this email, whatever.
Starting point is 00:50:26 But if you just said, okay, as far as the fucking powder, you got me. Okay. I'm not going to claim this comedic license bullshit. Um, I know you just watched in a news that,
Starting point is 00:50:38 that was scrubbed by the way it was, it disappeared. So there was an interview he did on TV where he was telling the story about the powder in a serious on a serious interview like it really happened like it wasn't in a comedic context right it was like a serious he's like yeah this is what i go and you know yeah sometimes i get a little scared you know sometimes it's a little freaky out there you know i know i'm up against these fucking these white supremacist forces but i continue on anyway because i'm the william wallace vindian people i'm the gandhi of khandi you know i'm the gandhi of comedy you know that was his that was the thing and somehow that interview you can't
Starting point is 00:51:14 find it anymore but it was i saw it with my own eyes i retweeted it got thousands of tweets and i just said it was funny you know it's funny but dude if I was his advisor I'd say Yo just fucking own it man Just fucking go with it You know But then again It does hurt you Because look at Steve Renzisi's career now Whereas I think Hassan's still going strong
Starting point is 00:51:33 So maybe just deny to that Maybe Trump's right And I love the fact that he hates Trump Because Trump does the same thing He gets caught doing something wrong And he just denies it So you're doing the same thing So there's irony and hypocrisy
Starting point is 00:51:44 All the fucking way around. And that's why you don't like Donnie. Because I'm an agent of truth. I'm the hall of justice. I'm the fucking Green Lantern, baby. And when I put on these glasses and I sit in this chair, I'm a superhero who can't be stopped.
Starting point is 00:51:59 What minute are we at? Can't end yet. I'm gonna end it on that, but I can't. I can't. Yeah yeah i got nine more minutes to give the people their fill that's right you can't shortchange the fans can't shortchange the fans you can't shortchange your fans but you can make that argument say hey there was another comedian who could have gotten that um you know there's a comedian who could who tells the truth who could have charged higher tech a process.
Starting point is 00:52:25 Right? But instead, these comedy clubs were giving him all this money and his career was based on this big story that he escaped the Twin Towers hilariously. Again, I don't want to repeat it, but the best is I heard some comedian, I don't know if I gave it away, but some big comedian who said funny, after that Marc Maron interview where he recounted the whole story
Starting point is 00:52:47 of his game from the Twitters, from the Twin Towers, he just got in his car after the interview, and he just, Steve Redizzi, he just looks, he looks in the rear view mirror and he goes, God, what am I doing? Or just something like, this has got out of hand. Like, well, what am I doing we're just something like this has got out of hand like what am i doing so wait remind me what did he do he he made up a story that he escaped the twin towers wow so he was in the building yes he made up a story that he was in the tin towers jesus
Starting point is 00:53:20 you know he went we moved to la he started telling people it and it really set him apart you know it was like a story and then he just., he started telling people it. And it really set him apart. You know? It was like a story. And then he just, he was in the story. So then, you know, he went on Marin. And he, like, recounted it. Like, he was like, tell me about it. So he told the whole fake story.
Starting point is 00:53:36 He's making it up as he goes along. We went through this hallway and there was smoke there. I mean, it's brutal, too. And where was he? A lot of people died on that day. Yeah. What was he, in Jersey City? Yeah, he wasn't anywhere.
Starting point is 00:53:51 He got caught when Comedy Central, when he got his out, his career was cooking, right? He's the Buffalo Wild Wings first person. He had the show, Fantasy, The League. He was as hot as fish grease. And then he had, this was back when Comedy Central was still relevant, he had an hour special coming out. And New York Times was doing a report on him. And they were like, well, you escaped from the tower.
Starting point is 00:54:10 This is like a big, when, dude, when he should, like, these people just don't understand. When you commit crimes and you're bad, lay low. Don't hire a PR rep. Don't want press. Don't ask the New York Times to publicize it. You know, people just don't hire a PR rep, don't want press, don't ask the New York Times to publicize it. You know, people just don't get it. They don't see themselves as criminal. You're a criminal on the run.
Starting point is 00:54:32 Your whole career is a lie. It's based on a lie. You're a criminal on the run. You have to live as a criminal on the run, okay? When Comedy Central approaches you and says, we'll give you, you go, I'm going to put this one on YouTube. I'm going to put it on YouTube. Buffalo Wild Wings,
Starting point is 00:54:49 they're not going to fucking look into it. But Comedy Central, the comedy world, that's when the fucking liberal muckraking, the liberal muckraking reporters are going to get in there, right? But if you're going for Buffalo Wild Wings, they'll be like,
Starting point is 00:55:02 I heard you escaped from the towers. And they're going, look, your popularity's this, they'll be like, I heard you escaped from the towers. And they're going, look, your popularity's this. We'll pay you this. Nobody's caring about those deals. But once it's, you're talking about art. Once you get in that art thing,
Starting point is 00:55:12 once the special's coming out, it's the same problem Hassan had. It's like, if you know you're lying about the powder, put your special on YouTube. You go to Netflix for another one? What took so long for a reporter to get on this I think it was the New Yorker that got him right
Starting point is 00:55:27 so it's like you gotta be a little nervous you gotta be a little you're just hoping cause the thing about people like this is they just think they're so much smarter than everyone they're gonna get away here's the thing when you get away with it for a while or you get away with it a little bit you just assume you're gonna get away with it you just assume you're gonna win
Starting point is 00:55:43 yeah like Diddy you just assume you get away with it that just builds confidence you get bolder and bolder and bolder because it goes back to that old oxymoron like what's the point of the perfect crime if you can't tell anybody about it it goes back to that that oxymoron you know it's like nobody wants to commit a crime and then be quiet about it because that's not the criminal mentality you get your ego you get your ego quiet about it because that's not the criminal mentality. You get your ego. You get your ego juice from people knowing that you're the fucking shit. You're the man. I'm smarter than you.
Starting point is 00:56:12 I get over. And what good is it if you don't know it? That's how that's that's what's so funny about the human. You know, that that's Sisyphus. That's us. I'm strong enough to put this right. Well, guess what? You push it up a hill.
Starting point is 00:56:23 Now it's going to fall down on you, you know, but you feel so good. You feel Well guess what You pushed it up a hill Now it's gonna fall down on you You know But you feel so good You feel so strong When you're pushing it up And then the world goes You're not in charge here You're not in charge You're not in charge
Starting point is 00:56:36 What Was the scandal the best thing to happen Of course He's fucking Good He's huge Great I don't care
Starting point is 00:56:43 Like whatever Do what you gotta do Deny it all the way Maybe that was Renazisi's problem He should have denied it And said, like, who are you to say I wasn't in the towers? I'm a comedian I'm a comedian
Starting point is 00:56:53 It was a story I made up a story I'm an entertainer What's the problem? If he did that, he'd probably be okay Because then their people just come His fans, they just depend on him They love him
Starting point is 00:57:04 So they go, you know what? He's making a point. He identifies as someone in the towers. He identifies, he's speaking for those people and he's an entertainer. We don't assume, like people, like comedian stories, we don't think that they're all true, just like a lot of Hassan's fans going like,
Starting point is 00:57:17 fuck them, they were going after him because he's Muslim, fucking, he's trying to take down one of our heroes. He's a comedian. You don't expect comedian, and they just ignore the fact that he's sitting there on an earnest news program telling the story as if it happened to him in real life
Starting point is 00:57:31 with no comedic context whatsoever, you know, in a serious interview. They don't care. It's what you can sell, what you can sell. Good for him. Good for him. I'd love to fucking work with him. Let's do a show where we make things up.
Starting point is 00:57:46 You know who I got shot by? White supremacists. You know what I was doing? I was protecting minority children. There you go. I should have done that, right? That should have been the fucking big lie. You got to play the game, man.
Starting point is 00:57:59 Yeah, you got to fucking play the game. So it's fun when you find out these people in anatomy are doing the same thing as Trump, right? Denying, denying. There's no question, objectively, that he made that story up to gain social justice points. There's no question he didn't make it up for a joke. It was for people to believe. He wanted people to believe it happened to him because it boosts his stature in that scene. There's no question that what I just said is true.
Starting point is 00:58:30 Jon Stewart did end up selling his apartment for over 800% of the value of the apartment. He did pay taxes only on the 8%. I guarantee you when Jon Stewart met with his accountant, he didn't go, the accountant said, we can pay lower if we do this. And I guarantee you Jon didn't go, no, no, no, I'm a man of principle. Don't do that. Don't write that off.
Starting point is 00:58:57 I want everything by the buck. Don't write that off. That was not just a dinner with me and my wife in Vegas. I was there talking business. I bet you he said, don't do that. Because the accountant said, hey, let's just put that on the business card. He goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Starting point is 00:59:14 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, I did meet with Seth Meyers. Okay? I did meet with Coco. I did meet with all these other establishment comedians in Vegas. Okay? But we ended up not talking about anything business. I, I put it on my business card by accident. Okay. So don't write
Starting point is 00:59:32 it off. I'm, I'm robbing taxpayers. I'm robbing taxpayers. If you listen to me, accountant, listen to juicer, juicer, steed. Okay. I don't, that was, it ended up not being a business meal. We didn't talk business there. So I want you to tell the IRS, I made a mistake. I'd like to pay a little more taxes. I guarantee you that's what Johnny Stewart did. Just like the rest of us do. What's up? Want to give a small business shout out. New tradition. The newest members, they go first. They go first.
Starting point is 01:00:09 Their first read. My boy James Pappas, no relation. No relation because my real name is Bibis. So my grandfather changed it from little boy's penis to a very popular Greek surname. Is the surname the last name? Sure. Yeah. Good move. Good move.
Starting point is 01:00:26 Good move. All right. So what does James Pappas have? We have no idea where it is. He hasn't given us his full copy yet. But if you've ever passed a place that's called Suds Auto Spa, it's owned by James Pappas, a fellow Greek close to my heart. I support the Greeks. Okay.
Starting point is 01:00:41 We support each other. I appreciate it. Suds Auto Spa. What do they do over there? Well, they offer vehicle wraps. I don't know what that is. Ceramic coatings and boutique storage. They take care of your car.
Starting point is 01:00:54 What storage? Boutique storage. So you know how you give your dog to doggy daycare if you go away on a vacation? Uh-huh. You want your car to hang out with its friends? You give it to Suds Auto Spa. And it gets to hang out with the other cars for the weekend, I assume. Or ceramic coatings and vehicle wraps.
Starting point is 01:01:13 If you want to wrap it up, if you don't want to go and rub that, if you want your car to be protected during sex. You want to put a decal on there? You want to put a decal on there, whatever it is. Yeah. He says, I'm not sure if that's a conflict of interest with other brands working with you. No. What are you talking about?
Starting point is 01:01:27 We don't have any other auto spas. You're just being polite. You're just being polite, James. You should wrap your Tesla. Giannis Papasauro. I'm going to wrap my Tesla. Suds Auto Spa. Somewhere in America.
Starting point is 01:01:37 We will tell you when they tell us where they are. And, of course, after you go to Suds Auto Spa, you want to sell your car to someone and they need to move it because it's out of state, you go to ExclusiveAutoShipping.com and Jared Z will take care of you. Okay? Military and student discounts apply at ExclusiveAutoShipping.com. If you're moving your car, you bought your car out of state, hit them up. Chris Minetti, 215-750-3730.
Starting point is 01:02:04 Cash his checks at Wawa's for you baby right in the parking lot you cash that business check for you give him a call at that number he will cash your business check in the philly and south jersey area for the free dot art is music in hawaii as usual check them out for the free dot art and also we're brought to you by the greatest social media manager and our numbers have skyrocketed since we've started using Nate Linder. That's Nate underscore Linder on Instagram. He will get your business ranked number one. He's been crushing it with construction companies.
Starting point is 01:02:35 If you listened last episode, a lot of you tune out too early. You should listen to these because that was one of the funniest parts of the episode when I gave him some marketing video ideas for construction companies. Show me your packer. DisplayPros.net. They will build your custom trade booth at a trade show. Retail fixtures, promotional items. They'll build it all for you.
Starting point is 01:02:58 Build something for us, DisplayPros.net. How about a new sign? I don't know. Some shorts. Build me a weed pen. Whatever you want to do. You get 10% off if you mention my name, your first order. Then, of course, we got MA Insurance Services.
Starting point is 01:03:12 MA Insurance Services in St. Petersburg, Florida. They got to be doing great. Matthew Albani's got to be doing great because he's still here, right? And this podcast is protected by M.A. insurance services. Nobody can sue me. Nobody can do nothing to me because I got a great umbrella plan from Pran. That's the second time I've said plan Pran. I did it last episode. I got an umbrella plan with Matthew Albani, who offers all types of insurance services. It's a local independent agency and they're located in St. Petersburg, Florida.
Starting point is 01:03:46 Then Capritech.com, sports handicapper. Look, if you're putting some juice on a game, why not check out Capritech? It's free, right? They simulate game results using AI to give you the best advice possible based on all the stats, which is usually fucking how Vegas does it.
Starting point is 01:04:03 So why not give yourself a shot? Check them out, Capritech.com. All you got to do is download the stats, which is usually fucking how Vegas does it. So why not give yourself a shot? Check them out, capratech.com. All you got to do is download the app, the Capratech app, at the Apple Store or the Google Play Store. It's pretty simp. Rebels Raider, does he have new bags yet? Not yet. Can you send us the military stuff?
Starting point is 01:04:19 Okay, he's sold out of his bags right now. They're so good. I use it. Rebels-raiders.com for your real deal tactical deer i guess maybe i don't know keep checking yeah he's out but what does he still got military surplus military surplus like we said hopefully he's got some south korean prostitutes in my dad's honor i don't know what military surplus is but check out the website the the bags are great they're so good they sold out um uh we got one here you don't want
Starting point is 01:04:47 it huh no no i want it yeah i'll make me an offer no you got a free one right there i'm saying if someone wants it jesse's got one yeah listen we got one all right you can't have mine i use it every weekend but we got one we got a solid on the black market. Rebels-Raiders.com. Thinkingman.substack.com is a New York City-based newsletter that publishes articles, essays, and thoughts on things, books, movies, pop culture. You can read it for free. Subscriptions are free. Or you can support them by giving them five bucks a month if you're feeling generous. So go check out thinkingman, all one word,.substack.com.

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