Yannis Pappas Hour - Podcast War - LongDays with Yannis Pappas - Episode 27

Episode Date: July 4, 2021

Yanni is back to teach you about Greek cab driver prices, he breaks down Eric Adams who will be NYC’s next mayor (remember him from history hyenas episode) and what it means for the future of democr...at party, he reflects on the current enemies of America and yesterday’s enemies AIDS and Russia, hammer throwing in the Olympics and lit content, why tourists should wear bullet proof vests in Times Square, the supreme court’s latest decision about how a guy with a pus pus should be allowed to use the men’s room, John mcafee, Al Gore & Bill Barr & Trump back on the road, and the exodus Stimmy Japan is offering. TV stop trying to entertain gen x with traditional programming- it’s pathetic, it’s been a long day.   For an additional bonus episode every week and more Yantent, click here and support the show: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdays   If you need to talk to someone it’s super easy and they are very good, go to https://www.betterhelp.com Promo code: FUMES   The show goes out every Saturday at 9 PM est. to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram!   Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis Pappas   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's up everybody welcome to another episode of your favorite beans that are Frank's and Frank's has last name beans My name is Giannis Pappas and this is long days and it's fucking hot in here God turn down the heat put up the air conditioner What a week. We all found out that there was an event in the Olympics called hammer throwing. I didn't know that. I just thought that the only people who had heard of that were domestic violence sufferers. Also, Bill Barr's on tour.
Starting point is 00:00:39 Trump is on tour. Sebastian Maniscalco's on tour. I'm back on tour. What's up, Doe? Sebastian Maniscalco's on tour. I'm back on tour. Also, there's a new species that was discovered in Japan called Dragon Man. I think that's racist. They call him Dragon because isn't that the Chinese New Year? Oh, my God. But Japanese people are different.
Starting point is 00:01:01 I got my Asians confused again. I'm sorry. I'm not a phenotype extrovert. I'm not an anthropologist. I apologize. Don't cancel me, Alyssa Milano. Also, King John Poon has been seen again. And this time he's 30 pounds lighter. Is he doing Taibo?
Starting point is 00:01:16 What's his secret? Has he gotten keto? Is he dying? Or is he just dropping white? And when I mean white, I mean weight to fight Michelle Obama on Triller. This is Long Days. And I'll see you next time. on what's lying wrong and there's something up now here comes a great kid you know you can trust from the truth to the news and cameras to the fake politics and the propaganda yeah this kid
Starting point is 00:01:50 screwed in got a lot to say oh shit it's about to be a long day it's a long day it's a long day coming well that's what it is guys nowadays i just suspect everyone is getting ready for a boxing match that's what i think is going on. Okay. And pretty soon that boxing max is going to be the United States, the USA, the United States of Amazon, the United States of advertising versus CCP's China, not Ali Wong's China, CCP's China. I want to be clear. There's no Asian hair. China. No Chinese virus. No Chinese variant. No Ali Wong China. CCP China. CCP China is going to fight the United States. And it should be on Triller. That should be on Triller because we are really Jake Paul and they are Mike Tyson in his prime. They're working hard. They're training.
Starting point is 00:02:47 They're for real. They make everything. And we're over here looking for the right opponent. We're looking for the right marketing strategies. We're looking to promote it the right way. We're looking to have a robot dance behind us. We're looking to make it seem more real as it is. We want to fight a non-boxer. We don't want to fight China. So what do we do instead of fucking facing China? We go and we bomb Syria again. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:03:15 That's like when a big kid fucks with you or like your big brother beats you up and you can't beat him up. So then you go punch Herbert at school during lunch to get it out that's what we do in china we really want to punch china we really want to punch russia but we know that they're just as big as us so we go over and we bomb someone last night we're back to bombing baby and i'm not just talking about most of the lineup at the stand
Starting point is 00:03:38 or the cellar i should have said seller. It's a legendary lineup. Writing names in a book is fucking, can make you a legend. If you write a fucking time, 9-15, John Fish. Fucking legendary guy. I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:04:01 Come on, we're in the comedy business. Everyone can take jokes. So that would be the fight. It would be on Triller. We're Jake Paul. They're Mike Tyson in his prime. And that's what the fight would be. Who did we bomb last night?
Starting point is 00:04:13 I'm going to guess. Let me guess. Let me guess. I'm going to go somewhere in the Middle East. Am I warm? Am I warm? Am I warm? Did Joey Biden, in between his applesauce snacks, decide he wanted to do a little bami poo we like to take a dump a lot america likes to fucking drop dumps on the middle east
Starting point is 00:04:37 can you imagine living in the middle east just trying to enjoy a fucking falafel you're just sitting there you got a fucking cush fucking fish cooking in the desert. Okay. You're fucking your woman through a storm trooper outfit. You pull up her storm trooper outfit, that fucking nun outfit she's got wrapped around her and you bang her out. And all of a sudden fucking you're going, Jesus Christ, America has to take a shit again. Can't we just fucking pee on them for a change? Just drop like, just drop booze, right?
Starting point is 00:05:09 Because they can't drink booze. So just drop booze. They'll be running, right? Some desperate guys would try to get a little lick. By the way, we can't have in our country. It's illegal.
Starting point is 00:05:20 And other people will be running. No, they're dropping alcohol. We can't. If the prophet finds out, we go to hell where we only get 15 virgins. I bet you fucking Muslim hell has some virgins to offer. What I like about Muslim heaven is it's heaven for the guys, hell for the women. Nobody ever takes into consideration the perspective of the 72 virgins who are getting fucked. ever takes into consideration the perspective of the 72 versions we're getting fucked by some old chic who shows up who obviously doesn't fucking use deodorant because that's just cultural at
Starting point is 00:05:52 that point okay you go to greece it's the same thing as soon as you step off the plane you go for more and i got the corners how are you uh where are you from brooklyn i spent some time in brooklyn had the cow had the diner my brother has in flabush in flabush brooklyn he has his restaurant yeah where are you going cigarette just hanging out this is greek yeah where are you going yeah no let me take you they all fight to to rob you they want to know if you're greek first off when you go to greece there's's Greek prices and there's tourist prices. And the tourist prices
Starting point is 00:06:27 are like when you go to a ballpark and order a frankfurter. Okay? The Greek prices are when you go to the supermarket and buy the pack
Starting point is 00:06:34 of frankfurter. You're going to get a deal, especially if you can speak Greek. But if you're American and you're not Greek, you're going to get walloped. And they always go, no,
Starting point is 00:06:42 get out of here. Ah, Brooklyn, Brooklyn, rap and it. I have it. Stop it. Get out of here. Ah, Brooklyn. Brooklyn. Rap and roll. You like rap and roll? Biggie? Big Papa. Yes, from America.
Starting point is 00:06:53 I said, I have a restaurant. I had a restaurant. Come on. Take you in the cab. Come on. You get in there. The cab is smoking. The car is actually smoking.
Starting point is 00:07:02 Like Knight Rider. You get in the car, and the car is like, how are you in a robot voice? Welcome to the Greece. I am a Mercedes. All the cabs are fucking Mercedes's stick shifts. And they always got like a cross hanging because it's nice to know that they are children of God while they fucking hammer you on the price. Hammer you on the price and you see their worry beads shaking
Starting point is 00:07:26 underneath the rearview mirror while they charge you 800 fucking euros because you don't know how to do the translation yet. And they go, yo, I'll have to take you to Athens. And then they just take you to Italy and then take you to Athens. You get on a fucking boat. Your car gets on a boat.
Starting point is 00:07:41 You go to Montenegro, and then they take you to, and they go, it was traffic. I had to take the other way. Which meant going to Russia and coming down. That would be 8,000 euro. But you can pay me with American dollars if you have. How much you have?
Starting point is 00:07:55 That's the price. How much? You don't have money? I'll take the girl with me. What's the problem? In Greece. Would Giannis fight China while Greece does referee? Comment roulette. Abso-fucking-lutely, because guess what? If Greece was referee, he'd be napping in the corner taking
Starting point is 00:08:14 a siesta. I want to live in a country where there's nap time. You know, Italy, Spain, Greece. Imagine having adult nap time during your work day, like right in the middle of the day. This is how you know Europe's glory days are over, okay? This is how you know the pale bipedal monkey is done, okay? Once you started seeing siesta prop up in Southern Europe, Once you started seeing siesta prop up in Southern Europe, that's adult nap time. Imagine living in a place. We're in America, so we work till we die unless you can figure out a way to podcast. And then you've really beat the system. But imagine living in a place where at a certain time your boss comes in and he goes,
Starting point is 00:08:59 all right, Jesse, I'm going to need these 16 finger paintings by tomorrow. And then you go, wait a second it's three o'clock time for siesta and then you just put on an ASMR video while some girl whispers and clangs on some sounds and you go I'll be I'll be in the nap room for 45 minutes can you imagine if our grandparents if our, like if you worked at Huffington Post and our grandparents came to see where you work, I used to work for AOL. It was the same building of Huffington Post. They have a nap room that you sign up for that was full of pillows. First of all, it's like fucking, that's probably ground zero for the bedbugs pandemic that
Starting point is 00:09:43 happened. God, who's worrying about bedbugs right now? Jesus Christ. COVID is the new bedbugs. We always have to have an enemy, you know? It's like COVID is the new bedbugs. Nobody cares about bedbugs anymore. Remember when AIDS was the biggest hit? Remember when we grew up with AIDS and Russia as as the two biggest enemies and then they kind of
Starting point is 00:10:08 faded and then the new ones that took over are like uh in the movies were like middle eastern sheiks and uh and then uh bedbugs came after aids nobody's even scared of cancer you get the clams casino you're like what can you do but people are scared as bed bugs as much as they are aids right you fuck somebody raw daddy right now you're like the only thing you're concerned about is a little piece of flint on the on the bed you're like what is that what is that what is that you take out your camera phone you're going what is that what is that you know oh it's a little piece of rolled up sock i thought it was a bed bug and the girl's going like i'm aids positive you're like, that's cool. But is that a bed bug?
Starting point is 00:10:48 She's going like, I'm currently in a herpes breakout and I have AIDS. And you're like, yeah, I'll walk that off tomorrow. I'll go to fucking CVS, pour some water on that, dab that right off. But please explain that little dark spot. AIDS is nothing compared to COVID. Thanks, pain,4Loss. We have a scientist in comment roulette who wants people to know that AIDS is nothing compared to COVID.
Starting point is 00:11:11 Nothing. AIDS is just the flu, he says. And then Jimmy21P wants everyone to know that his nickname for me is Zika Head. I have a small head. It's not my fault, okay? That's why it's nickname for me is Zika head. I have a small head. It's not my fault. Okay. That's why it's important for me to get on King Jong Pung's diet so I can lose some weight. So my body can match my head because the more fucking weight I put on, the more I look like a bed bug. You ever see a bed bug that got round bodies and then tiny little heads on top of them.
Starting point is 00:11:44 got round bodies and then tiny little heads on top of them call me yanni bet bugs so there was um it's good to know that the olympics are happening and there's good to know that there's a hammer throwing team do we have to make everything a sport right now there's a hammer throwing event okay what the fuck dude hammers are used to nail shit in they're not used to throw is this hammer throwing yeah oh so it's not even a hammer no it's a ball on a chain so why don't we just call that this the married event is this thing on ball and chain your ball and chain here check my wife would you why did everyone talk like this in the 30s jesse is your camera on let's go uh welcome this is yannis papas see with cbs we're here um uh there was uh another negro officer was uh
Starting point is 00:12:39 negro was just like the normal word i had to tell my dad because like negro was like the preferable word so my dad would always call him negros because my dad was 117 when he died and they would call puerto ricans puerto ricans and he called fire hydrants johnny pumps and he called jews fucking jews he always threw a fucking in there. What can you do? It was a different time. It was not as awoken. Black Panther had not been made yet. Rest in peace.
Starting point is 00:13:14 So it's not even a hammer they're throwing. It's like a rope with a ball. It's a rope with a ball, and they fucking throw the thing. There has to come a point, dude, where we get to vote on what Olympic sports can be in the Olympics, okay? We have to evolve. First Olympics, obviously, Greeks, we invented them, so can we get a little credit, okay? Also, Pride Parade, you're having a little parade? How about a little hats off? How about a little hats off to the originators? The originators of gay. The originators of the gayness.
Starting point is 00:13:49 The Greeks. Nobody did it like the Greeks. Nobody did democracy and gay sex like the Greeks. How about a Greek flag with the rainbow? Let's make that into a clip, that gay country bit that I did. We never made that into a clip. Clip it! So there should be a time
Starting point is 00:14:05 where we vote on the Olympics and people get to decide which sports should be in the Olympics because I tell you the first to go, I think the first to go will be hammer throwing. The first will be hammer throwing and we will replace it
Starting point is 00:14:22 with much better things. I can think of a great sport right now, podcast wars. Okay. Podcast wars. How far can you get in podcasts? Now what's you're going, what's the competition? The competition is we take two of the worst podcasts we find from every country okay like i'm talking about you know some guy who's a custodian in his school who wants out and he's like you know he's got a son who started one about legos and he's like you know i want to start one about custodians so he's got a podcast in america custodians and we go this is our is our Olympic athlete podcaster. And the whole point of it is to see how long people can listen to. So whichever country's population continues to listen past the 20 minute mark, you advance. You just got to listen to the guy go, hi, my name is Dan.
Starting point is 00:15:23 Dan, I'm a custodian over at PS417. Days are good. Kids are nice. You know, a lot of people want to know what being a custodian, you know, there's a lot of misconceptions because of the movie Breakfast Club. It made it seem a lot more exciting than it is. I'm no professional entertainer, but I think this podcast is important to give kids some motivation to learn what it takes to be a custodian. There's a lot of cleaning you got to do. And I'm a fan of the
Starting point is 00:15:52 uniform. A lot of people want to get rid of the uniform. I don't want people to think I'm just a regular guy walking around the school. You could get in a lot of trouble that way if you're an unaccounted for adult without a uniform. Oh man, I love my job. You know, I fell when I was a kid. That's what my parents told me. But then my cousin told me my dad actually used to hit me with a hammer and he was a drinker a little bit. That's cool. I mean, I found my destiny, what I love. I'm a custodian. You can't just be an unaccounted for adult in the school people go well is that a pedophile that happens on occasion my name's dan and welcome to custodian dan's podcast
Starting point is 00:16:33 and if you can fucking get past 20 minutes of that america advances and then in chinese the chinese got an advantage dude because it must be funny when chinese listen to chinese talk you know so they must giggle it's more rhythmic and you're just listening you know imagine imagine trying to sit through a german podcast if you don't speak german that's what we'll do so you don't for amer, that's what we'll do. So you don't, for America, we'll do it, Dan, the custodian. But for German, you'll just have to listen to a guy go, it'll be a love podcast.
Starting point is 00:17:12 It'll be like, this is a relationship podcast. And he'll go, wasen, isen, fossen, eisen, fuken, jaisen. And you're just gonna, I can't, I can't. I can't, I can't do it. And you tap out. So she made news. We would never know her name.
Starting point is 00:17:29 This is the way you make news in 2021. You do some shit that you pretend is a social cause, but you're really doing it because you want a book deal or you want to get interviewed on CNN and you want to be able to go on tour with Megan Raponipo. What's her name? The guy on the women's soccer team. So you want to go on tour with her Raponipo. What's her name? The guy on the women's soccer team. So you want to go on tour with her
Starting point is 00:17:47 and you want to get your own Nike commercial like Captain Kerpenick. So Captain Kerpenick gets his Nike commercial. You're like, you know what? I'm going to turn my back on the anthem. It's never spoke to me. The funny thing about this is people are so tired of the grifts.
Starting point is 00:18:01 You know, it's just not that important. You know, like you're a hammer thrower, but you got to give her credit because now we're talking about her. So it works. So if you wanted to know why the West is crumbling and why every what's behind cancel culture and its content, it's, it gets you talking. And that, do you think that hammer thrower really was thinking, this is my chance? This is my chance to protest all the immoral things that America has done to me.
Starting point is 00:18:35 When the national anthem comes on, I'm turning my back. I'm turning my back. She did her fucking job because now we're talking about fucking her. And I even know her goddamn name. I'll forget it in a second as everyone will, but give her her goddamn moment, goddamn it. If you're a hammer thrower, which is pretty analogous to just an ordinary person on the internet, let's use this as an analogy for how cancel culture happens. She is a hammer thrower. For some reason, she got very passionate about fucking tossing a ball with a string attached
Starting point is 00:19:13 to it that nobody cares about. She came up in their hammering sports world where she would compete and not even her parents would show up to support her. Because nobody cares about fucking hammering. Stop calling me my brother who's special needs. But yet she persisted all the way to the Olympics. To that level of hammering. She got all the way to that level. And she thought you know what? She got smart.
Starting point is 00:19:40 She said even if I get the fucking gold medal at the hammer event nobody will ever remember my name i'll never be on a wheaties box and this will all be for nothing unless unless i stage a protest and turn my back smart fucking girl. And her name is Eric Abrams. What's your fucking name? Deanna Price. Deanna Price, salute to you. You put on display for the world what our economy is all about.
Starting point is 00:20:21 And that is making yourself into a fucking spectacle victimizing yourself we victimhood right now equals dollars bro i'm gonna go out i've been actually walking late at night in time square because i want to get shot again Can you imagine what the numbers would do on this podcast if I showed up? First of all, it's national news. Comedian Giannis, who was already shot, gets shot again. In fact, we may have to stage it like training day. Remember, he's like, hit me.
Starting point is 00:21:00 You fucking shot me. He shoots the guy and he goes, okay, let me quarterback this thing right here. Okay. Hoyt, the new guy, he took fire coming in the door. Roger, he returned fire. We returned fire on him. So we should just stage it where I get shot again, just to boost the podcast numbers. If I get shot again and in Times Square, because people are just getting shot in Times Square. If you're a tourist and you want to go to the M&M store, wear a bulletproof vest. Wear a bulletproof vest. When you get off of the plane, they should just hand you a mask. Pretty soon, we are going to become a theocracy, a Muslim theocracy, where we're just wearing masks, helmets, and body armor so you don't get shot when you're walking with your family so some marine got
Starting point is 00:21:45 shot the last time um a little girl got shot now half of twitter is up in arms and i mean that facetiously because they're anti-arms they're saying to all the people who say more cops will help i want to say there is damn near there is a damn police station right in Times Square. So obviously more cops are not the answer. And I agree. I agree. I agree. I think we should try less cops for a week.
Starting point is 00:22:19 But make sure to announce where your neighborhood is and where you live and what you do. You know, it's so funny that that kind of not in my backyard thing shows how self-interested and greedy we all are. We're just self-interested. Because I read that on Twitter. Somebody said, you know, there's actually a police station in Times Square, so don't tell me more cops will help because the place is full of cops. So I want to tweet at them and go, so your solution is less cops?
Starting point is 00:22:56 So what's the solution? So we go less cops and you think that the shootings will go down? How about this, though? If that shooting happened outside your house, would you be tweeting? Would you be tweeting? You know what? I told you. I told you there's too many cops. No, you'd be calling 911 and saying, why aren't there cops on my block all the time? So Times Square is really the new Ivory Coast. So this is the second shooting this summer in Times Square. And it's just got Twitter up in a uproar over more cops, less cops, whatever.
Starting point is 00:23:47 I say less cops. I say, you know, cops don't stop crime. You know what stops crime? You know what stops crime? McRib sandwich. Bring it back. We need something big.
Starting point is 00:24:02 The government's got to sit down with the marketing team at McDonald's and say, bring the fucking McRib back post-pandemic special. All you have to show is that you have a face and you get a McRib.
Starting point is 00:24:18 There he is. There he is. There he is shooting. Because you know, if there was cops out there, he definitely would have done that anyway. And he shot that guy, a Marine. So what can you do?
Starting point is 00:24:34 Less cops is the way to go. John McAvee. John McCabe? John McAvee? John McCabe? McAavey? John McCabe? McAfee. John McAfee. John McAfee started the antiviral virus,
Starting point is 00:24:52 the antiviral network. He started an antiviral software that if anyone had a compact Presario in 1999 and 2000, we used to use dial-up and watch porn like this. Remember when the porn would get stuck and it would just you'd have to wait for the wheel to remember that wheel remember the wheel yeah you just would hold your jerk like come on come on come on and your internet would just cut out or do you remember when you used to look at a porn site
Starting point is 00:25:23 and then you would just like, the virus would come in, and there would be fucking, there would be screens that just pop and go, we're gonna send this to your wife. How you doing? Send us your money. Give us your bank account.
Starting point is 00:25:35 Or we took a picture of you jerking off. And then you just realized, at first you were scared, and then you just realized, oh dude, if they were to send pictures of people jerking off to people's relatives, it would be 100% of the people. It's kind of like the Trump, Trump's old, um, Trump's old strategy, which was, you say so many crazy things, they can't pin you down for one. So it's like, if
Starting point is 00:25:57 everyone is jerking off, nobody can get in trouble for jerking off because nobody with a straight face can be like, Hey man, it's really fucked up that you were uh you were watching uh blacks on blondes and you're going like yeah that's right i got you it's a it's a detente it's what you call mutually assured destruction okay nobody cares about anyone else's internet history because we could all look through each others and it gets pretty strange. It gets pretty weird when you go down the rabbit hole of what drew a kid in today's world. There's no excitement for a kid like Drew.
Starting point is 00:26:31 When we grew up, you know what we had to do to get porn? Drew has to just have a moment where no one's in the room and he can have access to anything. What do you want to see? You want to see a horse bang a Belgian woman? Got it.
Starting point is 00:26:48 You want to see a guy die from taking a horse dick in the ass? Mr. Hands, Google it. I've seen it. You've seen it, right? Of course you have. There's no reason a guy who's 24 years old, 22? 23. 23 years old should ever see a man die by horse dick.
Starting point is 00:27:05 But thanks to the internet, thanks to Al Gore and his invention, this kid is now traumatized. You're not even, I mean, what excites you at this point?
Starting point is 00:27:14 When you're 23 and by the time you were seven you saw a guy go, oh, oh, you heard the death rattle of a man get impaled by a horse cock
Starting point is 00:27:23 and he did it because he wanted to. He wasn't in some sort of romanesque torture room he wanted to take a horse cock because it turned him on and the guy obviously was not an engineer or he would have done the measurements about how big his fucking anal cavity is and how big a horse cock grows. And Drew, before he had hair on his dick, saw that. And now we're going to try to, you're going to try to,
Starting point is 00:27:56 you're going to try to entertain Drew's generation with TV programming? Are you fucking kidding me, dog? The only thing Drew Roches, Drew Roches, why did I just become Asian? Drew Roches is freaking people die from horse dicks
Starting point is 00:28:18 and a mentally ill kid screaming into a phone because the curtain has been pulled back don't you love what a tv show i'm dripping sweat turn the thing on who cares if it makes noise god it's hot just fan you yeah we need a geisha girl here where's a geisha girl when you need one don't you love it when tv shows create tv shows like it's the 90s? And they're going on the next episode of Captain Hook Log. We're going to go behind the scenes. And you're going like, do you understand what Gen Z is being entertained by?
Starting point is 00:28:56 You know, if you did a study on Drew underscore films, if you do a study on his entertainment for the week, it's gonna be filled with Logan Paul hitting himself in the head with a bottle. A guy getting killed by a horse cock. Transporn. I know one when I see one. Sneaker shopping.
Starting point is 00:29:21 I mean, the kid, TV is competing with sneaker apps. I mean, you tv is competing with with with with sneaker apps i mean people just spend time staring at sneakers and then you're gonna see uh drew's uh googling um chinese women eating cockroaches on game shows i mean they have the right idea and what i mean by chinese is i mean japan japan's game shows i'll tune in for that where they you ever see that where they have a straw and they push the cockroach and whoever blows harder goes into the chinese girl's mouth by chinese i mean japanese sorry i'm confusing my countries meat spin is the original trans porn thank you you. Horses fucking love squeaks. That is true. Yanni's forehead
Starting point is 00:30:06 wrinkles lock in the sweat like a dam because reality is a suggestion and we live in a simulation. Yes, we do. No one ever talks about those horse vaginas though. It's true. You never see a guy, you know, and they want to say the sexes are equal. I mean, you know, you never see a guy, you know, and they want to say the sexes are equal. I mean, you know, you never see a guy eat out a horse, but a guy did take that horse cock. The sexes are equal. Guys, I'm very excited about this new sponsor because I use them and I'm being absolutely serious. Talk space. I started using them after I had COVID and I was having a lot of anxiety. I was diagnosed with what they call adjustment disorder. It was just too much going on, too much going on. I just had a baby, had COVID. I lost three friends last year, one of which it was a gruesome murder,
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Starting point is 00:31:39 good to see a therapist. So what this company does is amazing. Talk space is what you have to check out. If you're going through anything, um, uh, go to them. So, uh, 50% of Americans deal with this guy's one out of two people, and you shouldn't be ashamed. And with talk space, it's all private. You set your schedule with your therapist. You get reminders and you get to journal and they hook you up with medication services if need be. So it's great. So this is what you got to do. Start feeling better with a single message. Match with a licensed therapist. Okay, you're not just going to talk and it's going to be some guy, Gary, who's chewing licorice on the other end. These are licensed therapists that work with Talkspace. So match with the licensed therapists when you go to Talkspace.com and you will get a hundred percent
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Starting point is 00:33:11 Promo code FUBES. So everyone's on tour. Bill Barr's on tour trying to rehabilitate his image. You know, now he's, I mean, what a rat. I would have more respect to him if he continued down the loyal. Don't tell me about sneakers being entertainment. I'm a black kid from Long Island. Thank you, JayHarvin15.
Starting point is 00:33:36 What he means is he just got chubbed. He got chubbed when he heard me say sneakers. I mean, the kid's about to run down to a footlocker right now. Yee got my tics for Willie B. Yeah, Willie Barr's on tour. Somebody's got tickets ready. He's on tour to say, you know, Trump. Give me one second.
Starting point is 00:33:57 I mean, look at this shit. It is fucking hot. Let's just do this swag. It's fun. Don't even cut it. Don't even cut it. Look at how I sacrificed. I mean, I am fucking hot. Let's just do this sweating. It's fun. Don't even cut it. Don't even cut it. Look at how I sacrifice. I mean, I am fucking dripping sweat
Starting point is 00:34:10 because it's 100,000 degrees in New York City because of global warming. But I have a nice, cold, fucking frothy smoothie. So Will Barr, former Attorney General, was a staunch trump liner and now he's doing his uh he's like what happened what he's doing his what happened was tour what had happened was what had happened is yeah and he's saying trump was full of shit and then of course trump called him what trump called him something funny you don't fuck with trump in uh nick cannon dis off yo how lit would trump have been man on wild and out he would have been like you know
Starting point is 00:34:57 he would have done his rap two plus two equals four you're a whore hillary um so he's doing and trump is back on tour kid couldn't stay off the road he's doing, and Trump is back on tour. Kid couldn't stay off the road. He's back on the road. He's doing five shows at Zany's next week. Then he's going overseas. He's going overseas where they love him, Russia. Fucking love him over there. And I'm not insinuating, okay?
Starting point is 00:35:25 I'm just going to get ahead of the comments. I'm not insinuating he's a I'm just going to get ahead of the comments. I'm not insinuating he's a Chinese spy. I'm a comedian just having fun. They did like him. They liked him a lot better than Hillary. He's on tour. He's doing his, he knows his demo. He knows his fucking demo.
Starting point is 00:35:40 He doesn't book any shows in Williamsburg. Wherever Alana Glazer is, he's in an opposite place alana gazes in brooklyn he's in wella fargo or whatever the fuck it's called in miami or florida he uh you won't be seeing trump perform in portland anytime soon but you will see him perform wherever there is grass. Trump can get a crowd. So he'll be outside of Portland. He'll be outside of any city performing. He's going on a tour. The kid's got nothing to do, man. That's what happens. They say never retire because once you retire, you run out of things to do all right this is a guy whose doesn't work anymore so he can't bang anymore his wife hates him doesn't want to touch him and he doesn't really have a job and he just had the thrill of his life running a country he was
Starting point is 00:36:38 the star of america he's not going quietly did anyone think trump was just gonna go quietly no America. He's not going quietly. Did anyone think Trump was just going to go quietly? No. No, he's not. He's back doing two shows and a Sunday. So get your tickets for Donny T. The Soul Joes. He'd be at Soul Joes and Royals
Starting point is 00:37:02 for PA. Pretty soon there's going to be throwback make america great ahead and get hats like a throwbacks uh it's a little to me it's a little nerve-wracking that his followers have a uniform i don't like that that they all show up in hats and shirts you're going like can we at least look like individuals please because that never goes good once the uniform starts showing up that would be an american uniform now just a ball cap that says make america great again with a flag trump is an actual comedian though yeah that's what i'm saying here olympia of greece
Starting point is 00:37:36 that's what these jokes are about that's why i said he's going to be at the hoo-hoo hot gary veder will be opening for him. He's back on the campaign trail. And Eric Abrams, the frontrunner for New York, looks like he is going to be the next mayor. This will be New York's second black mayor. I don't know how white supremacy works, but, I mean, he won by a landslide. Who?
Starting point is 00:38:10 Eric Abrams. Who? Adam, Eric Adams. Thank you, Jess. By the second who, I got it. And this is somebody who I met and I've spoken to on a podcast. Come on, man. I have it written down on the plate as Eric Abrams. So, come on, man as Eric Abrams so Eric Adams
Starting point is 00:38:28 he's a vegan he reverses diabetes by going to the V spot in Park Slope which is I'm not even being facetious I mean a lot of people their health takes off we're not supposed to be eating the amount of meat that we are right Jess
Starting point is 00:38:43 no what are you doing now quinoa beans yeah i try i try yeah so he reverses diabetes by going to my good friend the carabagno brothers v spot in park slope check it out if you're vegan if you're not it's delicious okay and i'm giving them a free shot out because their dad just renovated my basement it's what it has so he goes to the V spot
Starting point is 00:39:13 he gets vegan but he was a former police captain and this is a little bit more blowback that we're seeing against the progressive
Starting point is 00:39:22 Dems they just it's just this is proving that the progressive Dems are really an internet culture. And by that, I mean, it's like a few people making a lot of noise. Like they say on Twitter, like 10% of the population is on Twitter. So 90% of the population wants cops. 90% want cops. 10% doesn't want cops because they don't have jobs and they are employed by Antifa.
Starting point is 00:39:59 Antifa is a corporation and their goal is to just lobby for benefits. Antifa just wants to protest the government. You know what? Here's the funny shit. You want to talk about some funny shit? Antifa is always protesting the system, the government. And then the policies and the politicians that they support are the ones that want the biggest government.
Starting point is 00:40:28 You can't make that up. They're going, we hate the government. The government's corrupt. The government's fucking the people. The government's doing all this stuff. And then they're going, who's my candidate of choice? The one that wants the government to run everything. The reason why Antifa is a corporation now
Starting point is 00:40:48 look yeah they're it's because these kids have there's no they're unemployable they're unemployable I mean which one of these kids
Starting point is 00:41:01 could you see cleaning up and sitting behind a desk and standing because it's better for you to stand. Look at these kids. I mean, it's just dirty white kids who need to just go home and make up with their parents. All these kids are just rebelling against their parents for being republicans and it's just because they're not old enough to know why their parents are republicans look anyone who has their own business no matter what they tell you in public they vote republican
Starting point is 00:41:40 anybody who doesn't have their own business and wants stuff is Democrat. You know, that's at the heart of it. Obviously, I'm oversimplifying, but can we just get over this thing that Republicans are eating? Like, what is this thing?
Starting point is 00:42:02 Whenever you're like, I have even family members who are like you bring up any republican they're like they talk they they they react like you're talking they actually react better when you bring up like an arabic terrorist if you bring up an arabic terrorist who blew up like a fucking israeli cafe they, well, you know, Israel shouldn't be doing what they're doing. And then you bring up a Republican. You're like, yeah, this guy, you know, he wants less taxes. He owned a business.
Starting point is 00:42:32 They go, fucking what? They're terrorists. They live in an alternate reality. Al Gore's back on tour. What the fuck is going on? Is 98 Degrees getting back together? What the fuck? Are the monkeys going to do a geriatric tour?
Starting point is 00:42:53 These fucking people from the early 2000s or from a couple years ago think that they can still stay in the public eye without fighting somebody. Put some boxing gloves on and get in the fucking ring or i'm not paying attention akash singh i challenge you right now to a covid war me and you we both infect ourselves by kissing indian homeless men on the mouth in delhi
Starting point is 00:43:18 and we get the indian variant and then we podcast in a phone booth whoever gives who covid wins and if we both get covid we both lose fucking al gore the inventor of the internet is back on tour talking about pleading with Trump. He's pleading with Trump to stop hurting democracy and stop living in an alternate reality. And I think it's gonna work. You guys think it's gonna work? You think Trump's gonna be, okay. He's gonna be like, all right, I heard what you said, Al.
Starting point is 00:44:02 I heard what you said and I really gotta change what you said, and I really got to change. You're right, Al. I really got to change. I know, Al, that this had nothing to do with you or whatever position you're about to be given by Biden. I know this speech was really because you thought it would help. I really think that... You know, Al, you know what's missing from telling Trump to chill out?
Starting point is 00:44:26 You know the one thing that could stop Trump? Al Gore making a video. That's it. He's not going to say he won the election anymore. He's not going to call it the China virus. And most importantly, he is not going to call Rosie O'Donnell a... ali g has become a liberal of course they become a liberal dude they live they're millionaires
Starting point is 00:44:53 they're fucking millionaires it's called not punching down it doesn't it's optics if you're a multi-millionaire what are you gonna do when you're asked about your you're going to go up there and go yeah you know fuck poor people they need to get their shit together and really pull themselves up by their own bootstraps like i did or you're just going to bullshit and go you know it's my community i'm talking about to help the communities and you know i donate to this charity i spend a lot of time my name is mark robert we gotta stop fracking we gotta close the wage gap there's a lot of stuff we need to do. Am I going to do it? No, I'm doing Hulk 4,
Starting point is 00:45:28 which I'm getting paid $4 billion from. But people should do it. I tweet about it, but people should do it. They should really do it. There's a lot of problems in the world. There's things in Africa that are happening that are bad. They're bad. I'm against bad things.
Starting point is 00:45:39 I'm against bad things, people. Hi, I'm Taylor Swift. Of course, they don't give a fuck. They don't live in the consequences of their decisions. They don't live with the consequences of how they convince people to vote. They live behind security walls. They live in rich neighborhoods that are patrolled by neighborhood patrol, by private security, and by the police. And the police patrol those neighborhoods because they get tipped. And I don't mean tip
Starting point is 00:46:06 by like, hey, I got a hot tip for you. I mean, here you go. Here's a little scratch, Johnny, for watching my fucking house.
Starting point is 00:46:14 My name's Elaine DeGeneres. My name's Ellen DeGeneres. Don't look me in the eye. Okay? Don't look me in the eye and put a breath in your, put a breath in your mouth before you enter my office. And here's a rope. She had a rope up where she wanted for her walking space and for the staff's walking space.
Starting point is 00:46:35 But it doesn't matter that she's a complete fucking animal because she loves the show Obama. I love my show obama i had her on my show we dance a little bit like this so it doesn't matter that i'm a fucking optics baby it's all about the optics. It is all about the optics. Now, if Al Gore ends up getting some position in the new administration or starts getting in the news more because he has some new foundation that he's promoting, just say Yanni called it like I call most things
Starting point is 00:47:21 because there's no way Al Gore, I broke my pen into three pieces for you people okay look at what I've done Antifa is this your audition because I can break stuff too I wonder I imagine the audition for Antifa is they call you in the office and they're like what's going on you got a black t-shirt you got black jeans you fucking like to rage against the machine yeah alright you bisexual you open to shit cool
Starting point is 00:47:47 okay now break something we'll sit back and judge and they just fucking smash shit around they're like I like your style you're in
Starting point is 00:47:54 when some guy goes and he just can't break shit good enough and they're like sorry it's not for you it's crazy it's crazy Japan
Starting point is 00:48:14 Japan is actually giving people 500 bucks or whatever the equivalent of their currency is to $500 they're giving people $500 and tax breaks to move out of the city. Nobody is committed to work like the Japanese. There is a pandemic
Starting point is 00:48:40 and you cannot convince these people to move to the suburbs. America, everyone moved to the suburbs who could afford it during the pandemic. In Japan, they're offering incentives to fill these quote-unquote ghost towns, ghost villages, where there's just abandoned suburban homes because these people want to live on top of each other. They want to be close. They want to risk getting COVID, lest they be late to work.
Starting point is 00:49:16 Japanese do not like to be late. They have a different work ethos than let's say my people, the Greeks, who show up with a cigarette hanging out of their mouth and an envelope in their hands, and they say, why get the government involved in this transaction? You give me the washing machine, I give you the money.
Starting point is 00:49:36 Yanni Nagasaki left with that big $500 Exodus stimmy. Very good. It's an Exodus stimmy. Japan is offering its citizens an exodus stimmy to go live in a bigger house. And because Japanese are such polite, small, neat people, they say, no, I'd rather live in this closet so I'm never late to work. Because if I have to take the train in, that adds another element to my life. And God forbid, I'm late to work. Then I have to walk out on the shame plank that is on the roof of every building
Starting point is 00:50:09 that the Westerners don't know about and jump to my death. You know, there's like a forest in Japan where people just go to kill themselves. Logan Paul got in trouble for filming a guy. I thought it was good content. To be honest with you, I thought it was lit content when he filmed the dead guy on the tree and put it up on youtube i thought it was fucking lit i don't know what the fuck the problem was i don't know why youtube got so
Starting point is 00:50:32 fucking upset about that i thought it was yeah you just he just dabbed over the dead body and then he went floyd come on and there was just a dead Chinese guy, fucking bloated face. It's called like suicide forest. Yeah. And Logan Paul filmed it. So what I'm saying is the Japanese have honor. Okay? If they fuck up at work, every company has a plank.
Starting point is 00:50:59 Yeah, there he goes. Just like, yeah. I mean, it was lit content. I mean, he had a lit hat on and it was just a dead. Yeah, that guy behind him just is a dead body so that's what happens they went to the suicide forest and he apologized he said you know we weren't going there for content and i'm like yeah guy you were going there for uh because you're you're you're a bird watcher he went to bird watch he wasn't going to film dead bodies because it's littered with dead bodies in there Jess if you didn't know because uh that's where Japanese walk out they walk out like birds fly out and die at sea Japanese walk out they don't want to burden anyone so if they're depressed if
Starting point is 00:51:38 they had a tough day at work they just go to the suicide Forest and hang themselves I thought it was lit content did you guys think it was lit content behind the scenes logan wanted to play hangman in the forest he was probably pokey man hunting well comment roulette is lit today can i report my own comment? Someone said. Yanni, some stale agitties peeking out. Come on, guy. It's Comment Roulette. I'm live on the air. Spell check, you fucking people.
Starting point is 00:52:13 Spell check. I have to read it live on the air. This is a very serious, expensive production over here at HBO Max. Or as I like to call it, the new BET. over here at HBO Max, or as I like to call it, the new BET. Hang like that booger off Yanni's nose. Do I got one?
Starting point is 00:52:35 You can't read, Yannis. Yes, we know this. I probably, it was a word. See, what happened was it was just a word I didn't know, so I just accused him of misspelling. Japanese dudes just walk off, dude. If Drew was Japanese, he would have jumped out the window the first time he talked too much. Remember those first two episodes?
Starting point is 00:52:55 And then we got like one or two comments from like, can you, everyone goes, can you tell Jesse to shut up? And I'm like, trust me, that's not Jesse. Jesse, you gotta, you gotta, you to tickle Jesse to have him talk. And all he says is stop. Drew, I mean, the only way you could stop him from talking is you got to literally cut the kid's tongue out. And then he will fucking sign in your face.
Starting point is 00:53:19 He will sign language in your face. The kid likes to talk. He's got the gift of gab. No talk. He's got the gift of gab. No talk. So the Supreme Court's in action again, too, for refusing to hear a trial from the lower courts of Virginia, I believe, where it was ruled unconstitutional to not allow this guy from using the boys' bathroom. Now, that's a guy.
Starting point is 00:53:58 Looks like a guy. He's a guy. He's got a puss puss, though. He's got a puss puss because he was born a woman. So he's a trans guyuss puss though. He's got a puss puss because he was born a woman. So he's a trans guy. And his name is Gavin Grim. But I think his government given name was Stacy. Something Grim.
Starting point is 00:54:20 Stacy Grim. Or whatever his name was. But he's a him. And he converted a long time ago. That's why he looks so much like a guy. That's the thing. The earlier you start, that's what makes this so complicated. The earlier you start, the more you can hormone block and actually develop more as the other sex. Science is wild. So, but then you're like, hey man, like my four-year-old's telling me she's a girl
Starting point is 00:54:48 and she also told me that she's also a race car driver in the sky. So I don't know if we want to give her hormone blockers yet because that's kind of irreversible, but then the kid's going, look, you know, if we're going to do this, let's do this right. I don't see a controversy here, to be honest with you. I understand that people see a controversy. I see it like this. And this is the irony of it to me,
Starting point is 00:55:10 is because a lot of people who were against it are libertarians. That is so interesting, isn't it? You want everyone out of your business, but then you want to tell parents what they should do with their kid. Okay. Four years old is plenty old to know what you want to be when you grow up. When I was a kid. Okay. I said, I wanted to be a doorman because I met a guy named Jim and he was a nice doorman. Of course, I didn't know that I could do this for a living and completely steal your money. So new opportunities come up as you go on, but it's their kid. It's not your kid. It's your responsibility. You made the fucking thing. If you want to listen to their request at four to turn her into a boy or turn him into a girl, isn't that your business libertarians? Why are you getting involved?
Starting point is 00:56:06 Why should the government? You want the government and the law to step in and say, you can't do this? Isn't that regulations? Isn't that what you hate? Isn't that the government intervention you rail against? Shouldn't it be up to the kid and his family what they want to do? I'm just axing. I'm just axing. What is the difference between parents letting their kid
Starting point is 00:56:42 change genders starting at the age of five or six and you as parents deciding you want your kid to go to this private school. You made the decision for the kid. What if that private school he ends up getting,
Starting point is 00:56:59 God forbid, what if it's a private Catholic school? God forbid. And he gets got. And the trans kid's okay. Yanni, you need to set up a boxing match between you and Fauci. I would knock him the fuck out.
Starting point is 00:57:16 Knock him the fuck out. Al Gore said that Trump needs to stop. He said it was a real, I mean, the guy's got no charisma, dude. He goes, we gotta, Trump's gotta stop. Please stop with the insanity, with the artificial insanity, the AI. And he was going, is this thing on?
Starting point is 00:57:42 Is this thing on? We're ruled by AI today. We're ruled by AI now. But what I mean by AI is artificial insanity. Is this thing on? Is this thing on? Good work. Good work.
Starting point is 00:57:57 So Eric Adams is in the lead. He's a cop. So I already told you that's what's going on there. 90% of the people on the planet want cops. And so this is another, this is another backlash along with what we told you in the other episode. When that non progressive Democrat was back for governor, and all those progressive seats seeming to be unturned and guess what eric adams is running on a pro cop platform who would have thought i think people love getting bricks thrown at their head from random homeless people they love getting stabbed in the subway they love hearing stories
Starting point is 00:58:40 about some little girl getting shot in Times Square while she was getting her portrait taken by a Chinese guy on the street those Chinese guys are good artists dude yeah so that's what it is Britney Spears um I guess when this conservator thing happened that's when she had shaved her head and she was trying to like kill paparazzi with umbrellas. To me, that was her most interesting. That's when she was at her most interesting.
Starting point is 00:59:14 That's when I wanted to hear from her the most. I don't want to hear from her when she's going, I'm a genie in a bottle, baby. That's Christina Aguilera's song. What's a Britney? i'm a slave but just let britney spears entertain the gay community um they love horrible music she's a horrible singer she's a horrible dancer she just looks like a woman from al who's at Disney World. So let them have her. This is a gay issue. I think this is not.
Starting point is 00:59:49 I think Britney fans should want straight people out of this. This is a gay war that I don't want to get involved in. Just like the fucking trans weightlifter in the Olympics. From my perspective, trans women can only make women's sports more entertaining. So I'm for it. It's your issue. You deal with it. I got enough to fucking deal with here. Okay. I got enough to fucking deal with. I got to figure out the algorithm. You think I got time to donate, to be angry about Jamie Spears controlling his daughter's life and putting an IUD in her pussy? Listen, okay?
Starting point is 01:00:30 If you decide to have two kids with Kevin Federline, I'd fucking sew your pussy up if I was your father. What did he do wrong? She had kids with Kevin Federline, a backup dancer. And he wasn't supposed to put an IUD in her pussy? I'm saying it wrong because an IUD is an explosive device that's used in Iraq by rebels. What did he put in her vagina? Brittany has the opposite of Yanni eyes.
Starting point is 01:01:00 She's got the horse eyes. An IUD in the puss puss. What did he put in there? Can you Google it?'s got the horse eyes. An IUD in the puss puss. What did he put in there? Can you Google it? It is an IUD. An IUD. So I had it right. So what's a improvised explosive?
Starting point is 01:01:12 I-U-D. Yeah, they're both IUDs. I-E-Ds? Yeah. D-U-I's. He put a DUI in there. He just wrote a ticket and put it in there. I mean, Jesse, any responsible father would do the same thing.
Starting point is 01:01:30 Okay? I-E-D. Cuz, let me ask you a question. If your sister came home and she brought Kevin Federline, right? And he walked in and he was like, what's up, family? How you doing? And he was like, nice to meet you, pops. Would you go, I'm sewing up your pussy tonight.
Starting point is 01:01:46 We're putting a fucking chastity belt in this bitch and I'm getting a conservator. Her decisions are in question right now. I was fine. I bet you he was fine with the bald head, the whole Sinead O'Connor face
Starting point is 01:01:56 where she tried to stab the window with the fucking Bloomingdale's umbrella. I bet you he was fine with that. He's probably like, she's going through a fucking Sinead Twain face. Big fucking deal. Okay? But when she married
Starting point is 01:02:09 Kevin Federline, America, you're gonna look me in the eye and tell me you don't understand why her father would want complete control over her life and question her rational faculty
Starting point is 01:02:20 when she fucking cheated on Justin Timberlake to marry Kevin Federline. That's like trading Michael Jordan. It's like trading Michael Jordan. For Zubox. For Ben Simmons. Michael Jordan? For Zubox. For Ben Simmons.
Starting point is 01:02:50 For Ben Simmons. Somebody even worse. It's like trading Michael Jordan for Vladi Divac, straight up. I rest my case. I support her father and what he's trying to do. So that's it, folks. That's your long day for today. Free Jamie Spears. Let him
Starting point is 01:03:21 be a father to his daughter. Now, a couple shout-outs to our favorite small businesses, Eastside Cheesecakes. Cheesecake was supposed to come today. Didn't come. Eastside Cheesecakes, I'm going to put conservator on you, and I'm going to put IUDs in your puss pusses when i don't like people i'm just gonna do a conservator on them i'm gonna be like you know what drew i'm just gonna fucking i'm gonna get a hold of his assets and put an iud in his puss puss it's been a long fucking day jordan for earl boinkens leave kevin federline alone it's like trading Trump for Biden.
Starting point is 01:04:06 Okay, I got caught with one there. Yeah, that's a Trump fan. Trump 2024. It's like drafting Sam Bowie instead of Michael Jordan. Yes. Can Eastside Cheesecake send a package to King Jong-un? She's not well, but her boyfriend should be able to take her on a fucking drive.
Starting point is 01:04:28 That's them. I mean, yeah, she's doing okay. Look at that guy. He's a piece. I mean, Britney Spears looks like a mom at Disney World. Anyway, Eastside Cheesecakes. I mean, food porn to another level. If you got a sweet tooth, go check out their gram. Eastside Cheesecakes, I mean, food porn to another level. If you got a sweet tooth, go check out their gram, Eastside Cheesecakes, eastsidecheesecakes.com.
Starting point is 01:04:50 If you're in the California area, the Los Angeles area, whatever it is, especially in Los Angeles, also go to my boy, Uncle Paulie's sandwich shop. He's serving Eastside Cheesecakes there. Uncle Paulie's a friend of mine. Paulie's got two locations. I think he's got more than two locations now. Uncle Paulie's, where the line is on the right. Uncle Paulie's, let me see your papers. I'll give you a sandwich. Uncle Paulie's, no socks, no hats, no Democrats. Come to Uncle Paulie's. Follow him on the gram too. He's a friend of mine to Uncle Paulie's.
Starting point is 01:05:26 Follow him on the gram too. He's a friend of mine. Uncle Paulie's sandwich. I'm going to hit that next time I'm in LA. So eastsidecheesecakes.com. Julia and Gregory, send me my fucking cheesecake. I've been looking at your gram and my mouth is watering. Okay.
Starting point is 01:05:42 Jesse's going to have a piece of the cheesecake and then I'm going to lie and say I had a piece. That's what we do with all our stuff. No, gonna eat it um Joseph DeMonte thank God for you blue agave blue agave Bay Ridge all one word on the gram go follow them blue agave on third avenue in Bay Ridge go get yourself a nice mojito quesadilla whatever you like a little burrito something like that that's what we're gonna have uh Drew's Sweet 16. Next year. Yeah, next year. So go over there, Blue Agave, my favorite restaurant in Bay Ridge. Rob's Mental Playground. The kid is selling prints to long haulers. So keep it up. If you don't have yourself a Rob's Mental Playground print, I don't think you get into heaven. I think it opens up a portal
Starting point is 01:06:23 into a wild world that you're going to want to be a part of. Okay. So go to robsmentalplayground.com. Check out his art, buy a piece. It's part of our culture now. Okay. You buy the pieces for him and he can afford to eat. So do it that way. Robsmentalplayground on the gram, robsmentalplayground.com. And he has some discount too, right? So there's a discount. If you go, robsmentalplayground.com. And he has some discount too, right? So there's a discount. If you go to robsmentalplayground.com, you see that discount right there? Go buy something. You get that discount.
Starting point is 01:06:52 Fix Nation, our biggest fucking contributor. He's just a rich kid who lives in Beverly Hills, I believe. I think he's got some sort of illegal business. And I'm a big fan of his fashion. The kid's very fashionable and he looks like the type of kid that'll choke out a cat and film it and put it on the internet. So Fix Nation on the gram, follow him. Mike Milanov, our favorite Bulgarian, T-H-I-X, Fix Nation, all one word. Go follow him and write some entertaining comments on his pictures about what you think he looks like.
Starting point is 01:07:29 Because to me, he looks like he'll choke. I got to count and put it on a video on the internet. And that's it, right? Oh, of course, of course, exclusiveautoshipping.com. You're moving your car, guys, anywhere in the country, get your free quote, go talk to Jared. Nationwide free quotes. If you're moving and you got to move your car whatever wheels you got a wheelchair you want to throw grandma on fucking top of the hood like they did in vacation go to exclusive auto shipping.com
Starting point is 01:07:57 check them out and get your free quote today now for our newest long haulers. I forgot good guys? Am I a bad guy? Because I forgot good guys? Am I a fucking bad guy? Yo, Max. I apologize. I was thinking about fucking bad guy or maybe this is part
Starting point is 01:08:21 maybe that was all a bit. Where Jesse goes, yo, did you forget good guys? You're goddamn right I forgot good guys. Because I'm a bad guy. Or maybe this is part, maybe that was all a bit where Jesse goes, yo, did you forget good guys? You're goddamn right I forgot good guys because I'm a bad guy. If you are in Seattle or you are in Palm Springs, there's only one good guy that can fick your fridge. He can fick your fridge. That is our boy, Max, Mr. Good Guy Long. He'll come and crack your fucking fridge right open and clean it the fuck out. Max, Mr. Good Guy Long. Go to goodguysrefrigeration.com. Hit the guy up and get your fridge fixed.
Starting point is 01:08:58 I mean, he fixes fridges. Let me ask you something. If I got one of those college dorm fridges, you going to fix that too? And are you going to give me a squeak price? You better not charge the same for the college fridge as you do the big fridge okay and if i got a backup fridge that's in the basement where i store or i keep my booze which is what a good suburban couple does where we keep our meats or if you're a republican area where we keep the deer in the freezer in the basement that secondary fridge should not be expensive as the one in the freezer in the basement, that secondary fridge should not be expensive as the one in the kitchen. I'm just giving you tips. Max, Mr. Good Guy,
Starting point is 01:09:30 Lauren. Guys, we got a new small business sponsor. I'm very excited to welcome Aaron Leaf to the Long Haul Small Business Shout Out Crew. Now, let's try to understand this together. now let's try to understand this together Aaron Leaf okay wants to us to promote for the free for the free is a rap collective from Hawaii that doesn't sell any music or merchandise on tour but if you live in Hawaii you can go to their free galas. How the fuck do you make money? All of our music videos and live show information is, here you go, forthefree.us. Forthefree.us. It's all free. We have videos of our events if you want to see what they're like and follow them for updates on news events exclusively in Hawaii. So, cuz, if you're in Hawaii and you're a kid who didn't understand this ad either, please someone go to this website and help me understand how this is even a business. I don't know what they're doing.
Starting point is 01:10:40 So go to forthefree.us. I love this guy he goes essentially we just want to support hawaii's music scene because everyone just leaves for the west coast this is a kid he's doing a good thing arab leaf he wants he wants hawaiian artists of which there's many there's i mean the hawaiians are dominating the fucking r&B scene right now. He wants those kids to stay in Hawaii. This is a kid who loves fucking Hawaii. He's got na-na or pata. What's the spirit in Hawaii?
Starting point is 01:11:13 He's got pata. So he wants all the Hawaiians to say, so forthefree.us, go support them. He essentially just wants to support Hawaii's music scene. So support him in supporting Hawaii's music scene. Go follow all the cool stuff at ForTheFree.us. Now, I just want to say this before we get to the Patreon names. Okay?
Starting point is 01:11:36 I need you guys to go to iTunes and rate and review. And I also need to stop seeing in the comments, why does this not have more views? This is so good. Where are the views? Here's the deal. Share it. Share it with your friends.
Starting point is 01:11:52 Tell your friends. Share it in your stories on Instagram. Repost it. It's because of you. It will grow. We're growing this thing together, guys. We're at the beginning. We're at the starting line.
Starting point is 01:12:01 Guys, we're at the beginning. We're at the starting line. So tell your friends to share and also join patreon.com slash yannilongdays for your weekly bonus episode. Also your weekly Marisa bonus episode at the lowest levels. And then of course you get the character piece videos, check-ins at the upper tiers. So love all you guys that are over there supporting the show
Starting point is 01:12:23 and receiving your scoop. Of extra. Long days. Now for the Patreon names. Okay we got some new long haulers. That have joined. The bonus content channel. Thank you so much.
Starting point is 01:12:38 Patreon.com. Slash Yanni Long Days. Welcome Vaughn Angeles. Angeles. Vaughn Angeles. Vaughn Angeles. Then we got Daddy Dickler Pickle Tickler. That cracked everybody open. Daddy Dickler Pickle Tickler. That's the winner, obviously. Lila Rosen. Good to see you back, Lila. Eric Spencer. Kyle Rodriguez. That kid's there for the Rigorous Podcast. Terry Ansel. Maurice's Pseudoclit. Another winner. Kayla Glitz. Hunter Kroc.
Starting point is 01:13:15 Oh, it's a good Italian name here. Vito Scaletta. Vito Scaletta. I'll fix your fucking car. Then we got Corey Miranda. Dayron Perez. Or Dayron Perez. Hey, Bert's extra chromosome hates peanut butter. This is goody. Matthew English. John USO or John Uso. John U john uso what kind of name is john uso welcome john uso yeah i mean charlie it's a black kid uh john uso that's what it's just his name
Starting point is 01:13:55 black kids got the best names yo my name is john uso this is my brother science um then we got charlie pontarelli charlie pontarelli welcome man melissa brogdon uh then we have call me a loser and stick it in my snoozer then we got hayden peterson dawn welcome and the poop Riot. Sounds like a heavy metal band. Then we got I Just Work Here and Alex Johnson. Welcome, guys. Guys, go join patreon.com slash yannidongdays. Try to do a funny name here, get into the Hall of Fame, or just put your regular name and enjoy it.
Starting point is 01:14:39 Plenty of content up there. Thanks for watching. Most importantly, tell friends. Share the videos on the gram. Share the YouTube link. Tweet it. Repost it. Put in your stories.
Starting point is 01:14:52 Grow it together. Go to iTunes. Leave a review. Rate. And see you next week. It's been a long day.

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