Yannis Pappas Hour - Preacher Money

Episode Date: November 5, 2022

After buying twitter, Elon tweets a wild conspiracy, TikTok’s parent company Byte Dance is under fire, and nobody except hood ole Yanni LongDays is looking out for the rule of law. It’s a fun one.See Yanni & Jared on the road Upcoming dates: Austin Nov 11-12Detroit Dec 1-3Jacksonville Dec 8-10Charlotte Dec 15-17Philly Dec 29-31West Nyack, NY Jan 20-22San Diego Jan 26-28Chicago Feb 24-26Atlantic City March 3Emmaus, PA March 4Dallas March 16-18Phoenix March 30-April 1Tampa April 21-22Providence May 12-13Tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.comSponsor: https://boncharge.comWatch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQJoin our Patreon for hilarious bonus episodes each week: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysJoin our highlights page for podcast highlight clips: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwNew episodes every Saturday and new bonus every Thursday on Patreon.com/yannilongdays Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up everybody? I just want to start out by saying God bless Paul Pelosi. He's okay. We're all happy he's okay. We want to send our regards to the Pelosi family. I was going to put it in the mail and I figured there's a much easier way. I got a ticket to San Francisco and expect me in your bedroom at 3 a.m. to deliver it by hand. I think I can make it now that it is confirmed that he's OK. I just want to say Paul Pelosi was hammered and but he wasn't driving a car this time. Next up, Kanye West. Kanye West, buddy.

Kanye West has has now apologized for what he said about George Floyd because it hurt the black community and he said he was brought this was brought to the attention by God and the way God did it was because of the way Adidas and all the people who were working with him went after him and

he said it felt like he had their uh boot on his neck so um you know some people find empathy certain ways some people find empathy in other ways kanye finds them in in in the most narcissistic way possible and you just gotta love Kanye. At least he almost felt something. He almost felt something. They took away all his money and he said, this is just like what happened to George Floyd. Now I don't have a billion dollars. I get it. I want it.

Are you listening, Floyd family? I feel his pain because I too have had Adidas put their boot on my neck and take my money. I mean, they're equivalent. Kyrie Irving. Is the world flat? Is it not?

Are blacks Jews? Are Jews blacks? Was the movie he tweeted racist or was it not? Charles Barkley and Shaq, did they go hard on him because the Jews told them to or not? We don't know. We're going to get to the bottom of it, baby. iPhone lockdown in China. What is going on?

iPhone company, iPhone factory lockdown over a COVID scare. What is this? 2021? Get with it, okay? Open a freaking factory. We need our new phones. I want my virus in my phone that stops it from working, so I manipulated into buying another one as we absolutely bleed the world of the resources needed to make these things so Apple could make its bottom line and also yell at me for something that I said. Trump is still, still defending against his taxes.

He's got the Georgetown clamps. That is a basketball reference from anyone who was a fan of college basketball or the Big East in the 90s. The Georgetown clamps on whoever tries to get his taxes, dog. Just call him Gary Payton the Glove. You try to get his taxes, you will be covered. Like, who's the greatest quarterback to ever live? Jerome Evers. Like him. There is a planet killer asteroid that has been discovered in the glare of the sun.

So it ain't all bad news. There is hope on the horizon. This is long days. Let's get into it. I got a cold. Did I take a test? No. Have I been to Target?

Yes. Yes. Okay. Before we get into this, patreon.com slash Yanni long days for your bonus episodes, support, support the show. I have about 15 shirts left, uh,

male, small, and all women's sizes. Go to Apple podcasts, put a review on there, give us five stars, and I will send you a shirt to the funniest reviews, my favorite. You will get a shirt in the mail.

Take a screenshot of it. Send it to me on Instagram, direct messenger with your name and your address, and the shirt will come to you if I deem your review to be good enough. Road dates, Austin, Texas. That's the date coming up right now. Tickets are really moving, and I want to say thank you.

That's November 11th and 12th. Then Detroit, December 2nd and 3rd. Chicago right after that. And new dates added, Jacksonville, Pennsylvania right after that. And, um, new dates added Jacksonville, uh, Pennsylvania, Atlantic city. They're all going to be on my website. Um, so check my website for these dates. Um, I'm forgetting a bunch right now cause I'm not really great at marketing, but maybe we'll do this over after the episode and it'll be cut in or not. Who knows? Who knows? Yes, I have a cold.

My baby has a cold as well. I think I got it from her. She has a sinus infection. And I don't. I don't believe. Did I take a COVID test? Like I said, I didn't. I did not.

I don't know whether it is or not. Have I been going into supermarkets and whatnot without a mask? I have. I have. Am I a murderer? We don't know yet. We will never know. It only God will know.

I'll only be judged at the pearly gates. I wonder if you get into heaven if you went to a target with Omicron. I wonder, do you think he keeps track of those stats? Because that would be hard to trace. That would be really hard to trace. You know, you'd have to really sift through a lot of data, but God is all knowing and omnipotent. I think he could trace it back to you being in an aisle at Target, giving it to this person to give it to that person to

give it to that person that ends up killing someone's grandma who was on the runway anyway. Flight is ready for takeoff. Apparently China is still doing zero tolerance COVID lockdowns at the biggest iPhone factory in the world. There was a COVID scare, and they locked it down at the iPhone assembly plant. Now, what do you guys think? Does China know something we don't know about COVID? Why are they still doing this?

I don't see the benefit of this for anyone. The only thing it makes me think is that they know there's some horrible long-term effects that maybe when you're doing your podcast, you just drop dead. Imagine? That would be fucking hilarious. You'd be the first person to die on a pizza plate. Yeah. A pizza plate that has notes on it it i'm sure there's a few people

who've died on pizza plates we got some big we got some big boys we got some big boys within our borders but what what's going on here why why are they still locking down like this after the vaccine is it just because they're an autocracy because they're communists like what am i supposed to believe here it was a mistake i think it was a it was a false positive it was a false positive but yeah so but why are they locking down even if it was a positive because they're scared because they think people have covid but really just eating too much wasabi yeah wasabi is japanese but you know i'll take the generalization um too much general so, which is also more American. They don't have, you go to China, you ask for General Tso's chicken,

you see a chicken's foot hanging right out of it, and it's not something you'll sue over. They'll go, ooh, goody, they get excited over it, like a foot hanging out, you know? They don't have the hang-ups we have. They'll have a General Tso's rat. They'll cook a rat in a wok. So I just don't understand.

Jesse thinks it's because what? You had a theory. How does this make sense to you that they're locking down? How does it? So they're trying to just hurt us. Maybe they're hurting Apple because Apple's trying. You got to be crazy to keep your business in China right now. But wouldn't that backfire?

Because what they're doing is going to make Apple want to leave more because it's slowing down their money. You never mess with someone's money. Yeah, but they're leaving anyway. I'm sorry. I did the accent when I said money. Not in this climate. You can't make that joke right now.

I'm going to go like a Swede. The money. Is it going to mess with some money? I don't want to say the money. So you think it's... I don't know. They might just be gumming up the works. Who knows what they're doing?

They got a massive plan they think is going to work. So you think it's just part of the massive plan? I think companies have to reconsider where they... China's been America's factory for the last last 30 years and that's going to change right yeah you can't be dependent on one country anymore yeah but i don't i don't i wouldn't i wouldn't see how china would want that but it seems like they're facilitating this they're like you don't want us well we don't want you now we're gonna fuck maybe it's that maybe it's the breakup thing maybe they go oh you don't want us well i don't want you anyway and then they're going damn

it that's where all my money was. That's how we made all our money. Because, yeah, what's going to happen as a result of this is what's already been happening, obviously, and not for any moral reasons. You'd think it would be for moral reasons. You'd think you'd go to a company and go, hey, man, you see what they're doing to all these Muslims?

They're rounding them up. They're cutting their dicks off or whatever. They're forcing them to learn something. Maybe for a moral reason, you don't want to have your factory there. That doesn't cut it in the capitalist system. You go, does it hurt my bottom line? Okay, well, you know,

hear no evil, see no evil, my friend. But once you start messing with the bottom line, then the companies go, okay, I think I'm going to take my business over to Sri Lanka. I'm going to take my business over to Vietnam. I'm going to take my business over to Albania. I just bought some boots that were made in Albania. Whenever I buy something, I always look where it was made.

You see Nikes? A lot of them are now made in Vietnam. Yeah, because they don't want the supply chain to be interrupted by China's zero-tolerance policy. This makes no sense to me. The thing that is possible is that they're more aware of the long-term effects of this virus, and that's why they don't want it spreading. And they know how dangerous it is, and maybe that's what it is. We're all going to drop dead in 15 years

from like testicular cancer or something and they know that. Otherwise, it doesn't make sense to me. That's why I'm a little frightened by it. I'm going, this doesn't make sense. All conspiracies are about making money. I don't understand how China would mess up their own money here,

you know, to hurt Apple. It don't make no sense to me. But whatever it is, I'll just say don't drop your iPhone, man. Don't crack your iPhone right now. You want to keep that iPhone. Don't crack it. Don't drop it. You got to put an OtterBox on it.

It's the only thing that works. By the way, you know this is the only case that really protects your iPhone. Those ones you buy at the Apple store, it just breaks. It's like I don't even know what the point of that is. Anyway, COVID's alive and well in China. And it is alive and well in Soho. There's another disease, RSV,

which sounds like a 90s female R&B band. But it's like it gets kids and infants. Respiratory synctococcal virus. And they go to the hospital, they die. They say it's a bad flu

Seize it Whatever it is We're all gonna be okay So gear up I think at this point You're more Be more scared of the flu Than the

Than COVID I think The flu's gonna be bad You know But anyway That's we're just, you know, we just wanted to sprinkle a little news to you first before we get into the big story, you know, what's funny is what I was trying to do right there, and it was part of my point, I'm trying to avoid the only news that is everywhere, I'm trying to avoid, I'm trying to find something else to care about, but you can't anymore.

You can't. Nobody's going to care about any of this stuff. Nobody cares about the iPhone factory going in lockdown because Kyrie Irving tweeted a book. Kanye West finally understands George Floyd's pain because he lost his Adidas deal. And Elon Musk is going to charge people for Twitter. He also tweeted out a conspiracy theory about Paul Pelosi banging his gay lover from San Francisco.

Not a great move. I'm going to say it's not a great move. And here's the deal, let's say, let's say the story ends up being true, which of course we know it won't be, let's say in five years it comes out, well, you know, who knows, it could be, you know, you never know, everyone thought Josie Smollett was attacked by MAGA guys in Chicago, you never know, but probably no, but let's just say even it does, right? Still wasn't a good move. You just buy a company.

You don't want to stick your neck out like that on a theory just immediately in response to a Hillary Clinton tweet. It just shows you that no matter how smart, no matter how successful you are, Twitter will get you. Twitter is the worst. I don't know why he bought it, but this is going to be Elon Musk's downfall, dude.

You know how many Tesla cars are going to have malfunctions in their computers because he's sitting there sifting through Alex Jones' Twitter to find out what may be the deal? You know what I'm saying? It's like Elon Musk. how come you never built your self-driving robot trucks it's because i was too busy watching the documentary what is a woman i was too busy looking into this hunter biden situation

i mean i don't know how this guy has time. He also has got 18 kids, dog. He's got more kids than Sean Kemp than a fucking Mormon missionary. I mean, he's kidded up. He is strapped with kids. He's got now as many companies as he does kids. And he still finds time to take a peek at an article a day after this happened going, wait a second,

Hillary, there may be more that meets the eye. So I went and read the article that he tweeted. I was like, what is this more that meets the eye? There may be more to this story than meets the eye. What, what could it be? Could it be, um, could it be, this was a financial hit. Um, you know, could it be financial? You know, the guy is a massive real estate tycoon and a very lucky investor. Boy, who has more luck than Paul Pelosi in figuring out what's going up and what's going down? He just seems like a magic touch.

It's almost as if his wife is in charge of knowing that stuff. He's a lucky guy. Could it be financial? And then I opened the article, and the article had nothing to do with finance, nothing to do with money, nothing to do with opposition operatives trying to break in to maybe get Pelosi.

It had nothing to do with anything. It had nothing to do with Pelosi. It had nothing to do with anything. It had nothing to do with Russia. It had nothing to do with some sort of espionage. The article was about Paul Pelosi and his nudist gay lover. Yeah. Who it ends up, I think I read an addendum to this, that there was actually, there is some gay nudist in San Francisco that has the same name, but it's a different guy.

Yeah, the article was entitled Stocks and Bondage. Stocks and Bondage. It's exactly what it was entitled. So the Santa Monica Observer newspaper. You never quote a newspaper that has three words in its title. Might as well go with the Bay Ridge Courier Gazette. The Awful Truth, they tweeted. I love how they just go, the awful truth.

They just went right into it. The awful truth. Paul Pelosi was on drugs and in a dispute with a male prostitute Friday morning. Hashtag Paul Pelosi. Okay, so we're trying to get on the trend. Everything's content, baby. Don't forget the hashtag, especially if you're going to throw out a wild theory that you know is going to be retweeted

by Donald Trump Jr. Paul Pelosi stated, quote unquote, he doesn't know who the male is, but he advised that his name is David and that he is a friend. Yeah, that sounds like they're gay lovers. I don't know who he is. Hold on while I just

Yeah, I don't know who he is. I don't just yeah i don't know who he is i don't know who the male is but he advised that his name is david and that he's a friend okay could it be possible elon and santa monica observer that maybe he was calling the police under duress and a guy had a hammer and zip ties and came to kidnap nancy pelosi which means he's unwell and i didn't want to alarm him too much. So I'm talking down, the way you'd talk to a rabid dog, or like a bear coming at you.

I don't think you'd get on the phone in that situation and go, if you were smart, and go, get here right now, there's a guy in my bedroom who's coming to zip tie my wife. Or, you know what would be funny? If they had like a fight the night before, and the guy showed up and goes, where's Nancy Pelosi? And he goes, you know what it'd be funny if they had like a fight the night before and the guy showed up and goes,

where's Nancy Pelosi? And he goes, you know what? Fuck it. I'm 84. She's a cunt. She's at 456 19th Street. Go fucking zip tie her up and get her out of my life. You know, part of him was going like, I'll fucking take her. Jesus

Christ. She didn't even come bail me out when I was hammered and drunk. When do these people retire, by the way? He's 84? How old is she? She's in her 80s? There's gotta be a cutoff limit. Here's the reason why

the Founding Fathers did not codify that, I believe, that there is an age limit for when you shouldn't be in politics. I think the reason they didn't is because back then, I don't think they ever imagined anyone could live to 84 years old. It's like telling them that there might be aliens. I don't think they could see it. Or that one day there would be a black billionaire bigot imagine telling thomas jefferson that he'd be like get out of here imagine imagine talking to a freed slave in 1865

and be like hey dog i'm from the future i'm from the year 2022 It's only three to four generations away from now. More three. But you'll have a two-term black president, a black Supreme Court justice, a couple of secretary of states, 12% of the House of Representatives will be black. But here's the catch. One of the most famous racists in the country will be a black billionaire.

You think his fucking head would explode? He'd be like, get out of here. Trends change. I think that's an indication of how great America is. Now you can say to your kid when they go, I can grow up to be anything I want.

Before, you couldn't say certain things. Especially if you were black or something. Could you be president? I haven't seen that. I don't know. Now there's Obama. It's you can do that there's a that's why it's important to see that and i understand that so then you can tell your kids you have examples of what you can become in america here's an example it happened here's evidence of it happening but there was always a few things that you're like that is impossible now you can even say to your kid okay you can even they can go daddy can i grow up to be one of the most beloved artists but also uh billionaire uh jew haters and he goes it's

possible son it's possible but you're going wait a second i'm black i'm discriminated against why i'm going to be one of the most famous discriminators you're going america baby dreams happen dreams anything is possible you can grow up to be anything now so that's the good side of it as i think it shows that freedom is really flourishing right now you're really free kanye's very free to express his opinion can we not celebrate that okay that a guy off his meds wants to fucking roll with it a little bit and he wants to say hey dog i understand now i hurt the black community now here's the thing this is janice's opinion i don't speak for anyone else in this podcast, I don't speak for anybody, the kid has narcissistic personality disorder, he, his, what, who Kanye is, is in the DSM, you go look, he's, he's, the kid is off his fucking mood stabilizer, okay,

because for him to go up there and make an apology that says, I want to now apologize to George Floyd for what I said. I understand I hurt the black community because God has shown me what it feels like to have a boot on your neck because Adidas took away my money. That is something that a megalomaniac narcissist would say. The only way he could relate to the pain of George Floyd's family and the black community

from watching a video of someone in distress having a boot on their neck is the only way is for someone to take away his billion. And then he had a little insight. That's what it took, was take my billion. I had a little tad of insight of empathy. But it's only because Adidas took my money. So that's funny. I mean,

that is funny. When I saw that, I went, that's funny. I mean, that's funny. And I always say that's funny because I'm not black and I didn't have to hear that from being black because if you're black and you hear that, you go,

that's spit in the face. Saying, hey, I now understand what it's like to have a boot on my neck because Adidas canceled my contract. It's also unbelievable to have God tell you to do that because some people, God is Jewish. Yeah, and also God's more of a Nike guy. I think he's got a contract with Nike.

I don't think he's allowed to say Adidas. I think he's under contract. And you know who signed those contracts. Let's just say your money you guys don't think it's weird we had that whole episode a couple where you know like two episodes ago where i was talking about the type of hate and fascism that uh is a result of a humorless society. And then like a couple of days after that episode,

Kanye started ranting about the Jews. When our episode, I was talking about how I wonder what the culture for comedy was like right before Nazi Germany. And I, obviously it's, you don't have to be a brain surgeon to see what I was implying. And then Kanye's out there saying this.

And then you go on TikTok and your Instagram, and there's just all these videos of people going, I love those videos too with the green screen. And they show Kanye going, and it's over some track. And I'm going like, we are peak. We have lost our mind as a society. These people making content,

they listen to Kanye going, and they point, they always point. They point at some and they try to make it, you see? They go, eh? Like they're giving a PowerPoint presentation at a TED Talk. They go, you see?

Juice, money. You see? Kanye's not all wrong. It's just a shame. It's a shame that this is going down. You know? The more general you get, the wronger or funnier you get. You know, if someone fucks you over in a business deal,

which, by the way, must have not happened too much to Kanye because he made a billion dollars so far. He's not even 50 years old and the guy's worth a billy, right? And the mother of his kids is worth like who knows how many fucking more than him. They're doing okay.

They live in Hidden Hills. I've been there, okay? I went and visited a poor person in Hidden Hills if you believe that compared to these guys. I mean, shit, his house looked like it could have been on Syosset. Compared to where they live.

I've seen from afar where their old house used to be. I mean, it looks like you're looking at Gargamel's Castle. You know? So it's just a shame. It's a shame that, you know, so it's just a shame, it's a shame, that you know, it's weird how this stuff just kind of cyclical,

just like we can't, like we haven't been down this road before, like we haven't learned these lessons, like here it comes, all right, the Jews Kanye, the Jews, all right, you had a bad experience with some guy who had a business deal.

He was Jewish. So now you're saying because he's Jewish, he was a dick to me. People are dicks. In fact, I think being a dick is the most tied to individuality of anything, right? It's like I don't think it has anything else to do outside of who you are as an individual. And I think hate is an underestimated emotion.

People always talk about how you gotta love more. It's like that's so unrealistic when people are like, oh man, just be loving, just free love. You're like, dude, I don't give my love away for free. I think you should say just be more specific with your hate. Be more specific with your hate, okay? You can't hate Jewish people. Hate the guy, Shlomi, who fucked your wife.

You can't hate black people. Hate fucking this particular guy for fucking your wife. You can't hate Polacks, you know, because they're too stupid to know they're being hated. Nice. That's an old stereotype. And I don't know where that one came from. The Polish, you ever heard all those street jokes?

How do you get a one-armed Polack out of a tree? You wave, you're like, someone must have met some dumb Polish person and then they stereotyped all Polish people as being dumb. Must have been a legendary stupid Polish person though then they stereotyped all Polish people as being dumb. Must have been a legendary stupid Polish person though. For that to happen. For it to become like a whole

you know? You know? Some Greek doesn't bring your if you ask for cheese fries and he doesn't bring you the cheese on the fries just hates status. Don't hate a whole Greek culture. If you're at a Mexican restaurant and you go to the bathroom and a Greek steals your tortilla from your language tacos, don't hate all Greeks.

Hate the Greek that did it. Wow. You hold a grudge. Yeah. Did you ever hear that story? I think we were in San Diego. San Antonio. San Antonio.

And he went to the bathroom. I just stole a taco. You stole a taco. Yeah. And what made me mad is when I came back to the table, I heard And he went to the bathroom. I just stole a taco. You stole a taco? Yeah. And what made me mad is when I came back to the table, I heard him breathing eating the taco. It wasn't language because I would have never eaten the taco. No, you stole my tortilla from my language taco. Oh, it was just a tortilla?

What are you talking about? It's just a tortilla. You're getting upset over a fucking piece of smashed corn? Yes, tortilla. There's a lot of Mexicans that died for that shit. True. I stole his tortilla. I thought I ate your taco that would be worse

no you stole my tortilla dude do not mess with Jared Jared's the type of dude he loves his food listen well for it that's a fat kid's heart

right there he's going like I'm down one fucking tortilla but here's the thing with Jared he won't bring it up for like 20 years I'll be walking home late at night there'll just be somebody comes up with a gun and his silencer right bang bang on one fucking tortilla. But here's the thing with Jared. He won't bring it up for like 20 years. I'll be walking home late at night.

There'll just be somebody comes up with a gun and a silencer right bang bang and be like, you still owe me that tortilla, bitch. Wah! And take me right out.

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And also there's other stuff up there like blackout sleep masks, blue light bulbs, red light therapy devices, EMS, like I said, 5G protection, bunch of cool stuff that's necessary for the modern world living. So Adidas drops Yee for going 250 mil. Is that what he's losing, 250 mil? Just this year, 246 million this year. Just this year that he would lose. That they're losing. Oh, they're losing from dropping him?

Mm-hmm. How much of that pie was Yeez? Probably a lot, right? Half in a year. You know, they have a big resale market. I wonder what that's going to do to the resale market. I don't know. Yeezys.

Here we go. This is an article here. Well, they'll probably do good in Germany. A move that reportedly left a $1.5 billion debt in his net worth. So that's how much he was making, $1.5 billion. Dude, so he was actually, I mean, he was a legit billionaire, Kanye. I think Yeezys were like Adidas' biggest seller. They were huge for Adidas.

It's like Jordans for Adidas, right? It was their only competition with Nike. Yeah, and it's amazing because I don't love the Yeezys were like adidas's biggest seller they were huge for jordans yeah for adidas right it was the their only competition with nike yeah it's amazing because i don't love the yeezys it's amazing i just don't love them uh sketcher's lobby you heard that one that was great where he went to sketcher's lobby and they just escorted him out the fun thing about this is that we've seen so many people get canceled and then they apologize or they it's just fun to watch a guy who's just who's just going all the way with it who's just it's fun to watch from a from a spectator standpoint not putting all the bigotry and all the sadness of his mental health or whatever your take is as a distant emotionalist detached observer

who enjoys the circus a little bit it is fun to watch uh someone go so deep down the rabbit hole you know what i'm saying yeah like because you're used to people going like oh i'm sorry i said that kind of just comes back and he goes, do you see the interview with Lex where he goes, I want to get back to the thing that you said that was hurtful. And he goes, which thing? And he goes,

well, when you called the Jewish media, it is Jewish media. And you're going, oh, this dude, he's convicted. He's an anti-Semitic Johnny Cochran. Yeah, I mean, he is convicted in his beliefs.

There was points where Lex said something and he went, dun, dun, dun. He was making music. Like, dude, he feels untouchable. Like the way crazy people in the street, when they go like, I'm talking to a guy, and he's talking like God's speaking to me. God is speaking to me.

It's interesting to watch. That's life, right? It's like there's funny moments, there's sad moments. It's all about how much you want to care about it. Yeah. It's a very interesting thing. Like anyone who claims to be godlike or a heavenly figure, they always get struck down in the most brutal ways.

Yeah, because they're not, and it's delusional, and it's a sign of a mental illness. Yeah. Yeah. That's one of the telltale signs of megalomania, narcissistic personality disorder, schizophrenia. I used to work with mentally ill people. And I tell you, if you work with that population,

you meet Jesus a lot. And he never smells good. No. And also, either he's consumed with turning water into wine or, you know, because they love wine. I tell you, I've met a lot

of Jesuses who like booze. So, that seems to be one of their favorite things. So, it's the big news, man. you know there's not much to say about it you know we joked about it it's like it is what it is this is not this is not kanye's first blitzkrieg into the media as we said i do kind of agree a little bit with the black perspective that I've seen. I've seen some takes that Kanye was able to call slavery a choice and there was no backlash.

But now there's a backlash when he targets the Jewish people. Now I've heard from Michael Rappaport he'd prefer if we said Jewish instead of Jew. You see how people ruin everything? People ruin everything. Elon, you're going to learn that the hard way. You're going to try to have this free speech forum, and people are just going to be slinging the N-word like it's Compound Media Christmas Party.

So, I mean, people ruin everything. Here Kanye comes along, he ruins the word Jew. Now I can't say Jew Even if it's funnier Phonetically for me to say Jew I gotta say Jewish Or I'm a bigot Because of Kanye West

You know what I'm saying? People will ruin everything Even words What was my original point? Disparity between the Jewish backlash and the backlash Right So that was interesting to me.

That is an interesting point. It is true. Because there was a point where he rolled up in the TMZ and he's just like, slavery was a choice. And the guy's going like, can you explain that? And he went, no, I can't explain it. It's a choice. And you go, what are you, dude,

the people who don't think that he's crazy or off his rocker, I mean, there's a choice. And you go, what do you do? The people who don't think that he's crazy or off his rocker. I mean, there's another point or that he's not an attention starved narcissist with some disorder, whatever you want to call it. Um, how could you argue slit? That's like saying, Hey man, take a bite of this pizza. It's a banana. And you're going like, what? That's like going, hey dog, jump into the water, you'll get dry. You want to dry off, hop in that pool. I mean, slavery is actually, by definition, the opposite of choice, right? Otherwise, it wouldn't be called slavery.

Yeah, there's no consent seminars on the plantation. There's no consent seminars on the plantation. The master doesn't sit you down and go, so you have a bright future. Have you ever thought about what you want to do? What do you see? Now, we know you have a stronghold in picking cotton. Have you thought about finance? What do you see for yourself?

It's not like going to a guidance counselor. Come up to the big house. Do you like to be called boy? Yeah. Darrell, you... You're... You're a very talented young man. Have you ever thought about your future? What do you see

yourself doing? And he just goes, hey man, I just love being a slave. You know, all right, I guess there's nothing we can do. Durrell says he loves being a slave, and Kanye goes, see? You're like, oh, Kanye, that didn't happen. It was defense to that, though. When he said it was a choice, people said, oh, the slavery mindset was a choice. Like when you had references to John Brown and the revolution that he led, there were a lot of other slaves that just stayed.

But people were so adamant to defend Kanye when he talked about black people. But now he talks about Jews. There's no wiggle room. There's no compensation or consideration for it. It's just a full-on attack. You don't appreciate or you don't support any of those ideals. And that's the disparity that black people see. It's like, you know.

Well, there's some truth to that, I think. Yeah, a little bit. There's some truth to that. Yeah, I think there's some truth to that. But I also think, to Kanye's point a little bit, if that's what he meant, the slave mentality, I think black people need to come down harder on him. It's got to be black people that come down harder on Kanye

in a unified way, like come down hard on him. Because the Jews will come, yes, the truth is, the Jews have been discriminated against for thousands of years. The Jews, the Holocaust being something most recent that was horrific. And the Jews are resolved and unified to have that never happen again. And so they're like preemptively, which they just don't let it happen. So I think maybe the black community needs to come down hard on Kanye and stop buying his Yeezys and stop walking around with those stupid people tires or whatever.

I don't know what it is, but that's what needs to happen because that's what's happening with the Jewish issue. The level of forgiveness is a higher threshold for the Jews too because you can say something about the Jews, you won't say anything. You can say something about black people, black people won't say anything as long as you produce Travis Scott's new album.

That's what you just have to produce the hits. That's absolutely correct. But anyway, I mean, you know, it's's hard to avoid that was my point at the beginning we tried to talk i what i tried to talk about the fucking iphone factory i couldn't even find myself caring about it we're no longer an information driven society we're no longer hungry for data we're hungry for salaciousness. We've been conditioned for drama on television, in the media. It's one big reality show. Even if you tune into comedy podcasts now, I got to know the personal life of what's going on with fucking Bobby Lee.

Who gives a shit? You know, everything, people want drama. Here's my family. I'm like, I'm never fucking put my wife on this fucking podcast, she's not an entertainer, people want the drama though, art is dead, art is fucking dead, all you got to do is turn on the radio to hear that, it's dead, people don't want it, There's no demand for it. It's really not anyone's fault besides people. People have devolved in such a way that they want the ruckus. And I think in some ways the media just maybe provides people what they want. I don't know. Or is it the media manipulating them into what they want. I don't know. Or is it the media manipulating them into what they want?

I don't know. I don't know. Because we've never seen this before in this culture. The salaciousness in media. You know, the rush to judgment. You know, even with the Covington story, the Jesse Smollett story, and to a certain extent, the Kavanaugh story. Now, this is not popular for me to say, because as soon as I say those words,

whoever's left-minded perks up and goes, oh, Yanni's a Nazi, because that's the world we live in right now. But here's the deal. Here's the deal. A woman comes out of the woodworks, okay? Now, I am pro-choice. I'll just say that.

But I'm a rule of law guy. Right? So I don't like the things that are just good for the people I agree with. I like it to be fair for everyone. That means the law rules, not what I want. Now everyone's just going after their fucking interest. So if they can break the law to get the person they hate, they'll do it, which is dangerous

because like it's the quote from a man in all seasons, when all the laws are broken down, you know what I'm talking about? I love that. One of the deepest shits ever done. Say Thomas More, when every law is down and you've taken every law down to get the devil, when the devil turns around at you, all the laws been laid flat. Would you be able to stand in the winds that blow then? You're goddamn right I would

protect the devil with law. I'd do it. Let's play it. Play it, because it gives me goosebumps. Shout out Professor Ed Smith, the American University. Turn me on to this. Professor Ed Smith, who was a black man. My mentor in college was a black man.

Yeah, just play the scene. Just listen to this. I'm going to let the whole thing play because a lot of people don't know about this, and they should. I'm going to let the whole thing play because a lot of people don't know about this, and they should. This is from Man For All Seasons. Did you shake him?

Help me. How? Employ me. No. Employ me. No. No. This is so good watch

I I I won't be faithful Richard you couldn't answer for yourself even so far as tonight. Is this the right scene, Jesse? Yeah, it should be coming. Wait, I don't think this is the right scene. Arrested.

Oh, no, here we go. He's dangerous. He's a spy. Father, that man's bad. There's no law against that. There is God's law. Then God can arrest him. arrested under the he's a spy there is God's law while you talk he's gone until he broke the law yes what would you do cut a great rope

through the law to get after the devil yes I cut down every law in England to do that and when the last law was down and the devil turned round on you where would you hide Roper the law's all being flat this country is planted thick with laws from coast to coast

man's laws not God's and if you cut them down and you're just the man to do it do you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then yes I give the devil benefit of law for my own safety's sake i got every time i watch it i get chills i just got chills again every time i watch it i feel the

goosebumps there you have it nobody can say it better than that that's i think the first time in podcast history in comedy podcast history that we did three and a half minutes from A Man for All Seasons. And, you know, what can you do when people say, Yanni, you know, how come this podcast doesn't have a million viewers?

It's because I make decisions against what the people want like that. Okay? But you're going to get your vegetables on this podcast so here comes the airplane. Eat your asparagus. There you have it, man. That's why law is so important.

That's why it is important. Now, Paul Pelosi. Another story we can't avoid. Did we finish the Elon thing? We kind of did, right? Yeah. I kind of made the funny out of that, right? Oh, no, we got sidetracked.

Yeah, so what can you do? What can you do? But yeah, his whole perspective was it wasn't finance. It was a gay lover, and that's what he decided to tweet. Oh, yeah, it wasn't finance. It was a gay lover. And that's what he decided to tweet. Oh, so this is where we were. Right. So you can't blame people, though.

Right. And that's where we got sidetracked. Covington, Kavanaugh, Josie Smollett. These are only three on the top of my head. There's a lot more. Josie Smollett. These are only three on the top of my head. There's a lot more.

Even one I've ranted, railed against on this podcast when the Novak Simone Biles thing, which was completely false, completely false, absolutely provably false. This guy was slung through the mud, maligned, and whoever knew that story,

that was the predominant take they had from that story that novak djokovic is a sexist he's an asshole and maybe a racist right they ignore the billy jing king quote which he had quoted before and he was quoting again they ignore that he was talking about himself they ignore the fact that there was many articles about him vocally supporting Naomi Osaka when she was going through the same thing Naomi Osaka also a woman

also happens to be a woman who is black and she was going through the same thing Simone Biles was going through and the most vocal person who supported her was Novak Djokovic. So that was all ignored. The tweets went out, the stories were,

were written. And that was that. That's a small tennis example. Then of course you got Jussie Smollett. Now here's the deal. I don't blame the media for reporting what they had known at the time, right? At the beginning, that's what we knew, right? But there needs to be a standard for veracity.

You have to look at a story and go, allegedly, this is what's being alleged. There's no suspects. This is the story. You have to frame it a certain way, right? Everyone knew. I mean, like, it was a week or two, and it was going around.

Hollywood actresses were getting on talk shows, going like, you know, this is happening left and right, left and right. I can't believe this happened. It was all a lie, right? It was all a lie. By the way, not a lie hard to discern. All you got to do is watch one Dave Chappelle joke

and know that it was not a hard lie to discern. Remember, he was going like, black people were eerily quiet. Because we were like, he's lying, right? But he had the best Jesse Smollett joke, where he goes, MAGA hats, find out where Kanye West was last night. Chicago, MAGA hats,

find out where Kanye West was last night. I mean, it was a ridiculous story. A ridiculous story that any journalist worth his weight in, what is the expression? Worth his merit, worth his weight in metal, whatever the fuck it is, worth his weight in, what is the expression? Worth his merit? Worth his weight in metal? Whatever the fuck it is. Worth his weight in metal

would be skeptical about, right? It's just a wacky story. But it was reported as fact. The Covington kid was reported as fact from a troll account in Brazil who initially, so if you're a journalist, you need to find out where that video comes from. You've got to find out who that source is, who recorded it, all that stuff before you put it out.

That's why the Mante Teo documentary is so good, is because it really shows you how the media rushes now because they want to be the first one to the story and that's more important than the veracity of the story now and it's it's it's on display in the man teteo story i mean that guy has been slandered i don't think there's a better human being on the planet than man teteo and that he he was catfished is very understandable when you watch that documentary because that kid is a psychopath.

I mean, he does that female voice and you're going like, what the fuck, dog? And you're like, how come he never met her? It's because he's Mante Teo, one of the biggest football players in the country

carrying a football team. He's busy. He's busy. He's also very religious. He's not anxious to see her. He's falling in love with her by phone. It all makes sense. But the media made him into this stupid.

Gay. Yeah. Maybe he was gay. Is this him kiting? He's gay. All this shit that they came up with. Because the media is rushing and they're being salacious now. Right? gay? Is this him kiting he's gay? All this shit that they came up with. Because the media is rushing and they're being

salacious now, right? So, the Kavanaugh story. Now, people are going to hate me for this, but just hear me out, dog. Maybe it happened. I don't know. But I will say this. The facts aren't great. And the suspicion is high. And that's where we sidetracked. Because, said i am pro-choice so this has nothing to do with that but kavanaugh who is clearly pro-life who is clearly a trump

selection who clearly as a trump selection who's pro-life is an ominous harbinger of what's to come if you're from the left's perspective with respect to Roe v. Wade, right? There was big motive. If you're a detective, you're going, there's big motive to try to slander this guy and prolong this appointment. There's big motive, huge motive. So this woman comes out of the woodwork

from 40 years ago, and tells this story where he and this other guy were in a room, and what he jumped on her was like trying to caress her, trying to hook up with her, and then she ran out, she ran out, so you don't know, let's say that did happen, right, or something like that, okay, so he was drunk and being aggressive, okay, what was the other guy, she said the other guy was giggling or laughing and then that guy says doesn't corroborate it right there's all this stuff like about nobody at the party corroborates it there's some other woman of course who has nothing to do with her who says she also had some incidents with Kavanaugh it's's all he said, she said from 40 years ago.

And then there's this whole big investigation and fucking thing from so long ago. And then the media is going, hero, I believe her. I believe her. And yeah, I mean, look, you don't want to call someone a liar. You don't want to say that it's not true if you have no reason to, but it's like, if it was, I can understand why it happened. There's a massive motive for somebody to try to do this to Kavanaugh, right? My point is you can't report it as fact. It's not a fact. It is not a fact. And when you talk to people who hate Kavanaugh, they'll yell at you like it's fact.

And you're going like, hey, man, I'm not even a, you know, I'm a pro-choice person. That's my position. Like, I'm just saying, you know, can you do this to a person? Can you really just do this to someone with no evidence? Like, what's the fucking evidence here? Anyone can say anything, especially if they have a fucking motive and then the covington kid like i said reported as fact you know went around the world this covington racist kid in his mag hat you know you're like and then you see the whole video and and you find out where it's from, and it's a troll account in Brazil.

You're like, oh, man, this is, and it's heavily edited to cut out the beginning of the part where that old man marches right up into his face and bangs the drum in his face, and he just stands there partly smirking, partly not, and they take that still, and they just go, and people are going, I've seen that smirkking, partly not, you know, and they take that still and they just go and people are going, I've seen that smirk before. And it just paints him as this horrible person.

Now, by the way, this kid cleaned up. You know, that's not a big news story. That's not a big news story that this kid won $100 million from a couple of news organizations for slander. That's not a big news story. How come that didn't go around the world? Now, it shouldn't matter what your politics are. It should matter that you are aligned with the rule of law and people's rights.

This kid was wrongfully slandered. This kid was turned into a demon. And he was a kid, dog. Even if the kid was like a, he's a kid. Who did he sue? Ooh. He asked for 275 mil, and they settled. I know that.

And he made a lot of money. Not a big news story, but you know what it was? If you ask anyone right now who's on that side of the story from when it came out, they don't even know about this because the story is already painted that he's this horrible kid who is yelling at this old native man and not this young kid who happened to be,

they're all Republicans, whatever, they like Trump, whatever, they were on a school trip, and this particular kid, was just standing there, when this kid,

this old dude came, banged his drum right in his face, and all he did was, he showed restraint, if some old man came, and started banging the drum in my face, I'd at least give him a low shove, be like,

yo man, get the fuck out of my airspace, right, get out of my face, I'd at least give him a low shove. Be like, yo, man, get the fuck out of my airspace. Right? Get out of my space, old man. And then they would click it right when I was pushing. They'd click it, and then they'd be like, Giannis Pappas. Formerly

represented by Chris Italia, the owner of the stand. You know who was at the stand at one point? Gavin McGinnis used the bathroom there. Giannis is tied to the Nazis. So people have lost trust. So that's why I think people started to believe all these stories about Paul Pelosi,

that even though they were far-fetched, it's because people have lost faith in the media. You know? Jesse doesn't think it's that far-fetched is because people have lost faith in the media. You know? Jesse doesn't think it's that far-fetched. Is that what that smell is? No, no, I just think people want it to be true because it's so juicy. That too, you're right.

That is what they want, the salaciousness, right? They want that to be his gay lover prostitute. I mean, how juicy is that? Yeah, or they want it to be some setup pre-midterms. It just could be a little suspicious. I mean, the only thing that's a little weird to me is that they don't at least have a SimpliSafe account. I mean, that's a little weird, right?

I mean, I know people who make $50,000 a year who got a SimpliSafe. I know people who make $50,000 a year who got a SimpliSafe. I know people who make $50,000 a year who at least got a Ring camera. Yeah. I mean, dog, you don't even have a motion sensor light out there? Your wife is third in line for the presidency of the United States. At least get a Rottweiler, son. I mean, you just up there fucking in your panties sleeping in your tighty-whities?

By the way, I think they were boxers paul pelosi's boxers i would have taken him for a boxer brief guy especially when you get older you want to the balls are sagging you want something to hold them up i mean the boxers just don't give you any support i mean his balls might be at his knees at this point So the right-wing guy hasn't conceded in Brazil, even though privately they say he has. Who gives a hell? I don't care what happens in Brazil. As long as Bang Bros can continue to work, I'm all good.

As long as they can trot out some MMA fighters from the deep favelas, I'm fine. As long as I get to watch some woman say, 5G, 5G, 5G, and I get to see some MMA guy speak through a translator after he submits somebody,

I'm good. That's all I care about Brazil. Whatever their politics is fine. Just keep trotting out those fucking jujitsu guys. Because I love a freaking nice card on a Saturday night when I'm depressed because I'm not booked. Sorry, I have COVID. so that's what it is, I think democracies now are just all going to be in question, because everyone follows America's lead, and that's what we're doing over here, and so now Brazil, this guy's doing the same thing, it was a narrow margin, I mean, what can

you do, we got to think of a better way to vote. There's got to be a better way that's more secure, whatever. I don't know. But I don't even think that matters. I think once people start slipping from the principle to their interest, it's over. It's game over. So once you give up on, hey, man, we should be, whether I like this or not, we need to uphold the rule of law.

We need to stick to the principle of who won. Once people start putting their interest over that, they go, I don't care. When they start going, I don't care, I love Trump so much, I don't care, I want Trump in. When you start doing that, or I don't care, I want Biden in, or I don't care, I don't want Kavanaugh in, so I don't care if she's lying.

If she's lying, she's doing a greater good. Once you start doing that that it's a wrap and you're myopic and you the devil was gonna turn around at one point and you're gonna go what why and you're gonna go the devil's gonna go let me remind you why do you remember back in 2012 when you did this that's how i flourished that's how i got in Now I'm just sounding like a fucking $2 preacher. Send money. Giannis Pappas. Patreon.com slash Yachty Long Days.

Dude, I should have just been a preacher, man. It's a better grift. You know what I'm saying? I also think the pussy's better than chuckle fuckers. I think preachers get good hoes, dog. I think preachers be fucking. Yeah. dog. I think preachers be fucking. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, I had some friends who grew up in Detroit say preachers be fucking. They get that after that coffee hour, after Senka, Senka and cookies. Nice little crumb cake. Yeah, a little crumb cake. Basement. They get their fucks on. You can't tell me Creflo Dollar ain't fucking.

Yeah. On a private jet. What's the point of having the private jet? I love those preachers, Doug. Please don't take them from me. Please don't take those preachers from me. Please. Like, whenever they get caught doing something,

I just am worried. I'm like, please, I just don't want them to go away. Because I don't think there's anything funnier than a dude in alligator shoes and like a $3,000 suit getting off his private jet to talk to poor people about the Bible. I just think it's the funniest fucking thing

where they go up there and they're like, the Lord said, a rich man will have a harder time getting in heaven than a camel through a needle. And he goes, all right, y'all, I got to bounce. I got a late show in Cincinnati. Yeah, man, you know, God wanted me to have this private jet. I can't deal with the fucking eight.

I can't deal with fucking, I don't have pre-check. I can't sit on that line. I can't deal with the TSA. God doesn't want me to deal with the TSA. These guys are good. Crap flow dollar. Who's the other big one? There's a bunch of them.

Of course, the man with the fucking mullet. My favorite, Joel Osteen. Joel Osteen, who when the flood happened in Houston, he was like, keep these people out of my arena. Do you remember that story? Do you remember that? I think it was the flood in Houston. He was like, yeah, keep these people out of my arena. Do you remember that story? Do you remember that? I think it was the flood in Houston, right? Houston, yeah.

And he has a megachurch. He closed his doors. And he closed his doors. He's like, I don't want these poor people breathing on this suit. I mean, that's great. I mean, that's really good. What are you Googling?

I'm looking for hot pastor's wives. Oh, hot pastor's wives? Yeah, he's like, yo, get these poor people out of here, dog. They smell like swamp and water. Get them out. Close the door. And while you're at it, I need my bathroom renovated. And take this $700,000, put it in the wall just for a rainy day.

I mean, it doesn't get funnier than those guys it doesn't get and then they got people putting their hands up and then the basket comes around and the dude's hair is perfectly coiffed and his suit is just i mean a kid looks like a pimp i mean he's so he looks like a basketball player showing up to the arena they always know how to dress too you can't trust the pastor knows how to dress my past no when i was growing up he he would wear a yellow shirt and red socks every time. Oh, yeah. Every time. He looked like a manager at a McDonald's.

No, he looks like a guy fucking throwing it out there to get some poos, poos. Bright colors attract ladies. And then they spit game. They got game. Yeah. They got game. They can slip religion into it, too. They can slip God into it, too.

Come talk to me. Have a piece of cr into it too. Come talk to me. Have a piece of crumb cake then come talk to me. Puts a hand on the knee. What's going on sister? Let's talk. What's the problem? Hand just slowly goes down. You remember how Moses parted the Red Sea? Yeah.

Okay. Jesse pulled up a good one. He's like the big guy, right? Kenneth Copeland. Okay. Here you go, guys. Kenneth Copeland, your humble servant of the Lord, is worth $300 million. David Oyedopa.

I don't know this dude, but he's worth 150. That's a big, Copeland is bringing in the big numbers. Copeland's like the Taylor Swift of preachers. Pat Robertson, a cold, hunted millow. Benny Hinn. Oh, you remember Benny Hinn? No. You don't know Benny Hinn? He looks like a magician. Dude, Benny Hinn, he remember Benny Hinn No You don't know Benny Hinn

He looks like a magician Dude Benny Hinn He's like an Indian dude He's got action and everything He's estimated to be worth A humble 60 billion Pastor Chris Oyakalomi How much does this dude got

Wait we breeze over him Not right here 50 million 50 bill Peanuts Oyakalomi. How much does this dude got? Wait, we breeze over him. Not right here. 50 million. 50 bill. Peanuts. Joe Osteen, low on the list with only $40 million. Who knew that being a preacher, so much money in it.

It's almost like Nancy Pelosi, how did she get her 400 mil? How much are they worth, 100? Oh, they're rich. Yeah. keep going i want to i want to see how much creflo's got because creflo's one of my i used to watch creflo and i would i would enjoy it i late at night i watched creflo creflo got a measly 27 i mean he's a humble servant of the lord 27 mil gotta get your weight up on that yeah he has two rolls roy Rolls Royces, a million dollar house, a private jet, and several other assets in the United States. Guys, these guys are getting paid like CEOs of

Coca-Cola. Rick Warren. Look at this fat... Look at this guy. He's big in politics. He's got 25 mil. Louis C.K. of pastors. He looked like Louis. Jesse Duplantis has got 20 mil and an Instagram account. Bishop T.D. Jakes, 18 mil.

You remember those cool, there was a little phase where there was like the cool L.A. preachers. Do you remember those? The one with, he was rolling around with Justin Bieber and he was dressed like with like, a couple NBA players and Justin Bieber. He was around. What's his name? They cheated on his wife.

The glasses. I forgot his name. T.B. Johnson is 10 mil. Dude, we were reading off these numbers like these are the top 10 draft picks at the NBA, and these are their contracts. Yeah, ironically, they dress the same, too. Yeah, they do. Can you look up that guy?

Because that guy, I got a kick out of that guy. I mean, this dude looked like he could have been serving you coffee at Williamsburg. Who was it? Just go Justin Bieber's pastor, cheated on wife. He wears, like, flannels all the time. Oh, dog. You're going to love this guy. You're going to love this guy.

There he is, Carl Lentz. Look at this guy. You're going to love this guy. There he is. Carl Lentz. Look at this guy. Look at that guy. Yo, look at that guy. You can see that guy sipping an espresso in Soho. There he is. There he is with Justin Biebs.

What's Carl Lentz worth? Let's see. So he brought in this whole era of, like, cool preachers. He was jacked, too. Like, he's, like, ripped. If you afterwards pull up some pics of Carl Lentz, he's ripped. I mean, he's ripped like Brad Pitt in Fight Club. He would tell you about the body of Christ

and tell you how to use creatine. Yeah. Right here, it only says three mil. Only three mil. Yeah, that's tough. Three mil, I mean, what the hell? Humble servant of the Lord. Three mil.

Only three mil to serve God. Carl Lentz, go Carl Lentz. Go Carl Lentz. Look at him. Look at his. Look how ripped this dude is. With Justin Bieber.

He's got tattoos. He's got a cool haircut. Look at that dude. Preacher. He got weak. He cheated on his wife. Did she leave him? No, she didn't leave him.

They're still together. Oh, but check this out. They sold their $1.5 million East Coast home and are relocating to the humble Los Angeles. I guarantee you he's moving deep into the hood in Compton as well. That'd be funny if I go to Whitney's house and she's like, I want you to meet my next door neighbor, Carl. I'd be like, what do you do?

I'm a preacher. Man, your business is good, huh? He goes, that'd be fun. I would love to have a real combo with these dudes. I'd be like, yo, man. He just tells it to you real. He's like, listen, man, money's good, huh? He goes, that'd be fun. I would love to have a real combo with these dudes. I'd be like, yo, man. He just tells it to you real. He's like, listen, man, money's good, man. He's like, look, it's recession-proof, dog.

I mean, the worse times get, the more people come to church. I mean, you can't lose, dog. Anyone tries to argue, you just tell them, yeah, your faith's not strong enough. You get to fuck people's wives. They look the other way. He goes, I'll be honest with you. It's a pretty smooth gig. I got an accounting degree.

I hated that job. I hated it. He just gives me the same spiel that Joe Gatto gave. Like, I was selling baby furniture. And then we pitched this whole Jesus thing. And people started buying it. Next thing you know, it was 100 people. Then it was 10.

And then, you know, we just collected the email list. And the shit got big, dog. I had somebody with the clicker at the front like Kevin Hart. And we just got massive. And then with Justin Bieber, that put us on another level. Justin Bieber really put him on another level. Justin Bieber went to see him to get straightened out. Because Justin Bieber had some hate in his heart.

When he did the song One Less Lonely. One Less Lonely. Yeah, let's not get the body touched. You're like, how come Arista Records didn't make that hook? They do have a good gig, right?

They make almost as much as podcasters. Now, and finally, TikTok. All right, I don't know what to do, okay? Here's the deal. I'm creeping up on 200,000 followers on TikTok. TikTok's the only place that you can actually get seen. Because they don't have a monitor. They do collaborations.

They don't do advertising on your videos. So once the advertising on your video starts like it is on Graham and Facebook and YouTube, you have to be Mr. Beast. You have to be doing charity work to get viewed for the algorithm to be Mr. Beast. You have to be doing charity work to get viewed for the algorithm to like you because you're selling at that point, you're selling like mainstream advertisements, you know, you, you know, you're, you're like running for president

at that point, you know, you got like, uh, you know, you got, you know, Michelin commercials, you got, you know, it's not manscaped at that point. Right? So YouTube and Instagram are not great places for comedy anymore. They're just not. It's not. I know. I post the same video on Tik TOK and I posted on Instagram.

Tik TOK will get like 1.1 million views, maybe a couple hundred thousand fake. Who cares? That's still 700,000 real people who now are easily locatable by the ccp big fucking deal do you think i care about what the ccp is going to do with my information you can have it they you know i just go with what kush says they already got it and look you can sit down kush right kush is an influencer on tikt TikTok. We had him on. That episode's coming up. But you asked Cooge, hey, Doug, do you want to go back to watching dishes in Poughkeepsie?

Where was he? New Paltz. New Paltz, yeah. Do you want to go back to working in a kitchen in New Paltz now that you know that the CCP knows what you jerk off to and all your information? Or would you like to continue making fucking videos over your parents' stove and getting paid a million dollars to do it. I bet you Cooge goes, you know what? I don't care what the CCP is doing to Uyghur Muslims as long as I don't got to go back to New Paltz and wash dishes. And I'd be lying to you if I said I didn't feel the same.

TikTok is working. Please don't take away TikTok. I bow to feel the same. TikTok is working. Please don't take away TikTok. I bow to you, CCP. But the head of the FCC, the commissioner of the FCC, Brendan Carr, wait a second, he's not Jewish? I thought they were in all positions of power, Kanye.

Elon Musk is not Jewish? Jeff Bezos is not Jewish? Wait a second. Every president of the United States that's ever been, there hasn't been one Jewish person? That doesn't make sense, Kanye. How does that make sense? The owner of the San Diego Chargers is Greek and not Jewish?

Kanye, that doesn't make sense. That does not make sense. So, Brendan Carr, in a position of power, says, I don't believe there's a path forward for anything other than a ban. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa, I think, whoa, whoa. Everyone's had a little bit too much to drink. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's just think, whoa, whoa. Everyone's had a little bit too much to drink. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's just calm it down here. Take it slow. Let's back up. You had a little bit to drink. You said some things that you may regret in the morning.

Let's just calm down. Why don't we sleep it off and talk about this tomorrow? Okay, Brendan? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's take it easy here. you're not taking tiktok from me dog i don't care if tiktok knows my address sneaks into my house and murders my family my clips are getting viewed right now so car lawmakers on both sides of the political aisle have expressed mounting concern

that tiktok's parent company, China-based, Baidans, did I pronounce it right? Baidans, I want to try to get the pronunciation right. Baidans, is sharing US user information

to Beijing officials, with Beijing officials. Critics say the Chinese Communist Party could attempt to influence U.S. politics and social discourse through the app. Listen, I don't think there's much you can do with Cooge. I don't care how many Beijing operatives contact Cooge. He's not going to start selling chicken fried rice. He's an Italian kid from Staten Island who lives with his ma. There's not much more, and he's going to come out of that.

TikTok is in negotiations with CIFUS. That's an acronym on the potential divestment from ByteDots that would allow that to remain operational in the U.S. despite the privacy concerns. Dude, what privacy concerns?

I mean, you know, is anything private anymore? We're confident. Look at me. I'm defending TikTok. That just shows you how big self-interest is. Now, here's the deal. If I only had 10,000 followers, I'd be like, fuck TikTok. That shit is bullshit.

You see all these people they're propping up? They're propping up all these people. They don't have talent. They don't got real talent. This is all bullshit. They're just trying to get people's information. Ban it. But as soon as I start popping, I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Let's see what their position is. Maybe they want their information to make sure you're safe. Maybe they just want to know where you are at all times just in case you get in trouble, your blood pressure pressure spikes they want to be able to contact the local hospital to let them know where you are that's all the ccp wants to know they're just trying to make sure your health is good he goes on at its core tiktok functions as a sophisticated surveillance tool um when's that fucking icon gonna go? That harvests extensive amounts of personal and sensitive data. Yes, I mean, come on.

I would love to be, I would love to just be the lawyer for TikTok. Yeah, I mean, sensitive information. I mean, what's sensitive? What are you talking about? Is it ticklish? What do you mean?

Is it traumatized? Did the information have some sort of PTSD? What do you mean by sensitive?ized did the did the information uh have some sort of ptsd what do you mean by sensitive what information is sensitive information is either information or it's not information so i have issue with the word sensitive it is clear that tiktok poses an unacceptable national security risk due to its extensive data harvesting being combined with Beijing's apparently unchecked access to that sensitive data. This doesn't sound good. Carr's letter referenced the bombshell June report by BuzzFeed. Finally, a chick in the armor.

Pun intended. BuzzFeed News. Is this the famous BuzzFeed that also released the listicles, the 10 most beautiful things to think when you shit, and also the Steele dossier? Are we talking about that BuzzFeed News? You're going to believe these people in their expose about the fucking CCP. Give me a fucking break.

This is the same fucking news outlet that brought to you your 10 favorite friends moments from the 80s. Your top 10 pizza places in Staten Island. Our favorite feminazi comedians, list one through ten. Finally, this whole thing is discredited. Fake news. BuzzFeed.

A BuzzFeed report which cited leaked audio. Okay, they have some data. Leaked audio recordings from dozens of meetings that suggested Beijing-based by dots! By dots! leaked audio recordings from dozens of meetings that suggested Beijing-based access to U.S. data was more extensive than previously known.

The report included details on a September 2021 meeting with a TikTok director referenced, referred to, where a TikTok director referred to a ByteDance engineer in China as a master admin who has access to everything. Okay. So you saw a lot of my little front.

Okay. That doesn't sound great, but access to everything that could mean they could have been talking about the the office kitchen. He has access to all the storage rooms. Access to everything. It could mean anything. I have access to all the floors. I have the key everywhere.

I have access. It could just be like he was working on rhymes in the office, and they overheard him, right? Like he was writing some bars. Like I have access to all the, and he was just writing his bars. Who's to know he's not a battle rapper in his free time? Nobody's to say that he's not.

You can't just stereotype TikTok just because they happen to be owned by a Beijing company. They have no interest in knowing no do they really care what some woman who's got a camera under her pussy doing yoga is doing they really are they going to really influence the election through her silent videos on the um two billboard track hits they can if she has a bulge she has a bull right she was got big on tiktok maybe she's a ccp agent normalize the barge normalize the barge normal hold on a second that's joe biden on the other line hi president united states hold on one second one more verse normalize the barge yes mr biden yes i have top security clearance i'll see you tomorrow ccp Nominize the porch! Nominize the porch! Yes, Mr. Biden.

Yes, I have top security clearance. I'll see you tomorrow. CCP, the P stands for penis. Want to give a shout out to Wendy Ordonez. She is giving a very special deal for the holidays for whenever. This is the type of gift you should get somebody. She will, she's an amazing artist. Go check out her website, wendyyziminastudio.com.

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