Yannis Pappas Hour - Punching Drug Dealers & Journaling w/ Sergio Chicon

Episode Date: July 2, 2023

My good friend Sergio Chicon is back for his 3rd appearance on the YP hour. This time he brings his Cane Corso Koda with him and Koda knocks over the entire podcast set. This is one of the funnest episodes yet! Enjoy fetaverse! Yannis Pappas Hour is your new favorite podcast  Comedian Yannis Pappas wants to bring us all together by ripping everyone apart. No sacred cows, no partisanship, no mercy. Yannis Pappas identifies as a certified historian, P.R. Rep, social scientist, journalist and gender dysphoria expert. Join us every week to learn the future, analyze the past and defend the un-defendable. See Yanni do stand up, live  Dates & Cities below All tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.com Boston July 8 Poughkeepsie, July 21-22 Long Island Aug 17 Salt Lake City aug 4-5 Dallas Aug 24-26 Springfield l, MO sept 7-9 Calgary Sept 22–23 FORTË Wayne, Indiana Sept 29-30 Red Bank, NJ Oct 14 San Fran Oct 27-28 New York Nov 4 Providence Nov 10-11 Phoenix Nov 16-18 Spokane Dec 1-2 Tulsa Dec 8-9 Louisville Dec 15-16 Toronto March 23 Watch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQ Join our highlights page for highlight clips from the episodes: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykw New episodes every Sunday and new bonus episodes every Wednesday at https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator

What's up, everybody? Before we start this fun episode, I want to tell you about my live date so you can come out and enjoy a great night of stand-up comedy in Boston, Massachusetts at the Wilbur Theater, July 8th. Only a few tickets left. Go get them. Then Poughkeepsie, July 21st to 22nd. Wise Guys in Jordan Landing, Utah, August 4th and the 5th. Long Island at the Paramount, August 17th in Huntington, Long Island. Dallas, Texas, August 24th through the 26th. Springfield, Missouri, September 7th and 9th. Calgary, Alberta, September 22nd and 23rd. Fort Wayne, Indiana, September 29th and 30th.

Red Bank, New Jersey at the Vogel, October 14th. San Francisco, October 27th, 28th. New York at Sony Hall, November 4th. Get those tickets. Providence, November 10th and 11th Phoenix November 16th and 17th Spokane, Washington

December 1st and 2nd Tulsa Comedy Club December 8th and 9th Louisville December 15th and 16th and Toronto at the Royal Theatre

March 23rd patreon.com slash Giannis Papasour for our weekly bonus episodes please subscribe support the cast tell a friend if you love it.

We're trying to grow grassroots. Enjoy this episode with my very good friend, Sergio Chico, the one and only. What's up, everybody? Welcome to a brand new, all new Giannis Papasauer. I like to say that again. I am here with animal trainer Sergio Chico, presently in Hollywood. He trains parakeets, snakes. If you're doing a snuff film,

if you're doing a low-budget film of your own, he's also starting. He's taking a lot on his plate. He's got a lot on his plate. He's a snake trainer. He's got a 300-pound dog here. Full family, full training business. Also does stand-up.

He's studying for the bar exam. He wants to be a lawyer. Whatever he can to keep his mind off of coke. Sergio Chacon, the Lower East Side's own Sergio Chacon. My good friend. Good to have you again. Yes. And once again, I made the awful mistake of crossing the Verrazano Bridge as if I didn't

grow up in New York and I don't know how to get around here. Especially since you made the same mistake already. Yeah, the first time I did the podcast, I went across. But you know what? It was a great time to practice my Zen. I said, it's not a big deal. It's a 20-minute detour. It's not that big of a deal. Breathe in. Breathe out.

You're one of those. And then I lit up a cigarette in the Fiat. I didn't do that, but I was tempted to do so. Like, that's going to make you feel any better. It won't.

Yeah. Now you're just stinking up the car. Yeah. You're a mixture of old New York and new because you're a Puerto Rican from the Lower East Side,

but you do, you do smoke American Spirits. And I went out with a little lemon. The American Spirits is a new New York. Like,

you can't, nobody, you can't get a Lucy and get an American Spirit, but you can't walk up to a guy named Carl and say, can I have a smoke? And he'll have Jesse's glasses on with a beard, and he'll look like a mixologist who makes drinks, and he'll pull out a yellow pack of American Spirits.

That's right. I find a lot of people in the bar industry smoke American Spirits, probably because they burn so damn slow. They burn slow. There's no accelerants on them. Are hipsters over? Are they gone? Nobody talks about hipsters anymore.

I feel like that time and that period in history is over. Are there hipsters now? Where are they? What are they doing? They most certainly are hipsters. They behave as if they're native New Yorkers. Anytime you ask a hipster or anyone who's like a transplant, they're always here 10 years or longer.

They never give the real number. Do they still have that hipster vibe, though, or do they have more of a New Yorker vibe now? Are they walking around with, like, the glasses, the hair, bed bugs? Flash shirts, dirty-ass beards. Yeah, that's not, they look like they survived a plane crash I feel like that's more prominent in Brooklyn Is it still going in Brooklyn though?

I think so Because it's hard to imagine It's so expensive in Brooklyn In those areas like Williamsburg and Long Island City It's hard to imagine you can have a dirty look It's hard to imagine you can look like you just survived a plane crash They're in Bushwick now But even Bushwick is expensive

Bushwick is getting expensive, yeah. Now, Sergio's a guy who's either very positive and yoga-like, or people are annoying him. People annoy him. You know what I love? I love when he calls me. He's like, yeah, man, you got to be positive about that. You know, you got to look.

People, they got childhood trauma. They need to talk it out. But let me tell you about this woman in the gym that annoys me. She left her pants and she's talking to people. Yo, Yanni, let me tell you how annoying she is. I wish she was dead. Did I say that? Let me calm down a little bit.

And this, of course, is Koda the dog. This is Sergio's dog. The last time I was on, I was talking about how I brought her on a flight to Vegas. That's right. And she was four and a half months old. She was half that size. Yes. And now I got one strike with Delta.

Because of it. I got caught slipping. I thought because I was being a little antagonizing on the pod, like, I got away with it. Fraudulent activity. They were fans of the pod. It's possible, but I got written up. Yeah, well, we made a clip out of it. Yeah. So maybe they saw it. They were fans of the pod. It's possible, but I got written up. Yeah, well, we made a clip out of it. So maybe they saw it.

They wrote you up. What did they say? They called you naughty? By the way, quick, your Invisalign looks great. It looks good, right? Dog, your teeth are looking special. Yo, Sergio Invisalign, she coned. Teeth getting straighter, beard getting grayer,

game getting stronger. Dog getting bigger. They look good, right? They look real good. You know, I talk about that on stage, like how I have an overbite. I'm not going to be able to talk about that anymore. It's a slight overbite now. It's slight now. Everything is straightened out.

It's so funny how honest people can be when you make adjustments. This girl was like, oh my god, your teeth used to be like this. That's what she used to be like. I was like, what's that? She's like, your upper portion of your teeth were like triangle. Like it was meant to fit into corners to attack little insects or burrowing. A custom-made piece of furniture that goes in a corner.

Right, right. Fit a little alcove right. A little alcohol barrier. I have a triangle to you. Yeah, yeah. A triangle set. She said, now they're around. And then she went on and lifted the kettlebell, moved on. I was like, Jesus Christ. That's rude, yeah. But I enjoyed it.

They get comfortable with you too, right? Because when you're training them, they get comfortable. Sometimes they say stuff like that because you're so friendly. they don't know that it's rude maybe yeah i've been training uh some of these people for years now so we you know cross boundaries and it's always respectful but you know we got comfortable with each other you get comfy you get comfy i tell them as soon as they walk i don't want to do this you let them know you're like hey i'm not in the mood right now Yeah I just want to get to it I don't want to have to deal with

You know Unraveling Unpacking your shit How's your moods Your moods been good I take dips I take dips Yeah you take dips

I take some dips But it's nothing that A couple of cups of coffee And a cigarette can't Change Sometimes it's just rest Sometimes rest It's crazy man

How a lot of times We think that the world Is crashing down on us But just some rest Or good eating Or, you know, sometimes it's disconnecting rest. Yeah. It seems to be a nap. A fucking nap. Are you a big, you also, you do journaling too.

Yeah. A lot of the kids you grew up with, what do you think their reaction would be if you told them that you're journaling? I don't want to say it because you'll have to edit that out. I'll just make more work for Jesse. Yeah, I got a lot of... You know what I like? I like to think about those old pictures of you, dog, with

fucking hair and Timbos on and then you think about this kid one day is going to be journey. Yeah, I journal a lot. Yo, dog, you may be one of the only kids on the planet who punched a drug deal in the stomach and journaled later. Oh, my God. That essential water almost came out my nose.

Yo, do you think he might be the only human being on the planet who punched a drug deal in the stomach and hooked off on it with a combo against the car and then journaled it. Life is wild. Life is wild. You're wild. You're a combination of a lot of things, man.

You're an individual. That's why I love you so much is because you're an individual. You're not a predictable kind of one dimensional I feel like sometimes a lot of people are like like AI almost they're predictable it's like oh there's that guy

that does that thing oh there's that guy that does that like most people feel like they're almost background players but I've always you know you meet some people

who are like well rounded individuals you're one of those people yeah but I've always been in touch with my sensitive I've always been sensitive touch with my sensitive. I've always been sensitive. I'm a sensitive person. You're an individual, yeah.

But yeah, I've always. Yeah, when Angelo thought, I got to go. Yeah, so. When Angelo passed, we were on the phone talking about it. He's like, yo, Yanni, he's gone. And they go, I heard his voice crack. He went. He's like, I got to go, man.

And he just left the phone. He left the phone on him. You could tell me crying down Avenue A. That was, yeah, I cried too, man. And he just left the phone. He left the phone on and you just heard me crying down Avenue A. That was, yeah, I cried too though. Yeah, but yeah, you're a sensitive guy. You got emotions.

That's a good thing. Well, absolutely. That's a positive thing. I've never been, yeah, I have a cry every other, but I cry easily now. What is that?

Is that our testosterone levels? Because I'm going through the same thing. Yeah, I cry easily now. I think it's fatherhood. I think we have a great responsibility and we're a little more sensitive towards actions that are happening around us

and we just think about our children. I think that's a very, I think that's one of the main things and maybe our testosterone is dropping. It's taking a dip. It definitely takes a dip. You i you know listen the other day i was watching a movie called megan about a robot girl and i was like in the movie theater and i was like and charlie was like are you crying i

was like no i just got me fucked up no it's tough when you have like a I think that's what it is It's weird because Yeah I took my daughter To her first soccer camp And it was I think it might have been The greatest day of my life Which is weird

It was the greatest day of my life I mean I I couldn't believe how Much fulfillment And enjoyment I had out of it And yeah but there's a sadness That comes with it Because when you love

Something that much Then you're like Oh man now I love something that much. I don't want to lose it. But you're not thinking consciously. I don't want to lose it. It's just a sadness that comes with also realizing that you didn't have it. You should have had it.

Now you have. There's just a sadness that comes with beauty. There's a. I don't know why that is. Maybe it's because, you know, it's going to leave or I don't know. But there is a little bit of a sadness that comes with deep human connection. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's the deepest connection. Maybe I just know how much better I'm going to feel if I just let it out with an ugly cry. Yo, it's good too. But yo, seriously, can you explain the level of love for a daughter? Like especially, I can't explain it. Like I've loved, I love my especially, I can't explain it. Like, I've loved, I love my wife, I love my friends.

You know, in a lot of ways, I love, I gotta qualify with my own family. A lot of ways, I love some of my family members. But it's another, it's a whole nother level that's like,

almost scary how much you love them. It's crazy. She melts. She says that. She could do that. Dude, she could tell me anything. She could be like, Daddy, I want to kill this guy next door.

And then she'll look at me and certainly I'd be like, we got to do what we got to do, sweetheart. I can help you kill him. Yes. And they know that too and they start manipulating. Women are funny.

Innately, my daughter knows how to lie. Innately. I've just watched it. I don't think she learned it anywhere. I think she's just a woman and she's like, this is how I'm going to fight in my life. It's just

a talent I have. I can lie. It's part of her skill set. Yeah, it's a skill set that I can lie. And it's little innocent lies. Like, I got to go potty. And then she does it and she smirks. She's getting attention, things like that. But I'm like, that was a lie. You lied. Yeah. Yeah, it's definitely... I don't know if all kids are like that.

Like, if your son would be like that, we had boys, but my daughter, it's definitely, I don't know if all kids are like that. Like, if your son would be like that, we had boys, but my daughter, who's 11 now, if she wants V-Bucks or like some game, she goes, Daddy, like the reflection of her voice changes, and she's like, I love you so much. I'm like, what do you want? And she's like, I want the new Zelda game. And I'm like, how much is it? She goes, never mind.

You know what I'm saying? She knows what she's doing. She knows. They know. I think with a boy. She softens me up and I get the video game. Oh, yeah. I think it would kind of probably be different with a boy.

You know what I mean? I think it's just something. Yeah, it's, boy would be like, I want that. He'd be like, no, dude, I didn't have that. You're not getting that. Go do 10 push-ups. Yeah. Come back harder. Go do 10 push-ups. Yeah. Come back harder.

Go learn some shit. Yeah. Go get beat up. You know what I think about? This is a weird, I think this is a strange thing to think about. If I had a boy, would I get him circumcised or not? Because I'm circumcised, but it wasn't a choice in my matter. But I like being circumcised.

Why are you circumcised? I didn't know that. I thought Catholics don't. You Catholic? My mother would never practice any religion. Maybe she just thought it was more sanitary or something. I have no idea, but I'm circumcised. But I can't imagine.

Yo, this dog is so big, I'm using it as an armrest. I can't imagine making that decision for my son. Right. But also, like, you know. Yeah, you'd almost want the son to talk for himself and be like yo this is your piece what do you want to do that you're going to 18 yo what do you want you want you want to feel more or you want it cleaner that's the fact that the fact of the matter is when you're not circumcised it is more sensitive right it's

much more sensitive but it's also i gotta beat my shit against the wall yeah exactly yeah it chafes over time but it's less sanitary that's the trade-off yeah so you constantly got to beat my shit against a wall. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It chafes over time, but it's less sanitary. That's the trade-off. Yeah. So you constantly got to pull the skin back and clean it. I think women like a hoodless warrior. I don't think they like that. Aesthetically, it's a little more forgiving to the eyes.

For them, for some reason. Yeah, they don't like it. They don't like the package. They don't like it wrapped up. It looks like a champagne bottle for for as a present you know they give you a bottle as a present why do people wrap up the bottle as if you don't know it's a bottle right they just take a piece of paper and put it over you're like i know what it is just just hand me the bottle of liquor right that's also when you know you're an adult like a classy adult when you come over and you hand a bottle of liquor. Yeah.

Yo, check this out. Only 64% of newborn boys get circumcised. Nowadays. In the United States, yeah. It's changed. Another weird thing that has changed a lot, you don't see teens pregnant anymore. That's done.

Well, you're going to start seeing a lot more now. Why is that? Roe v. Wade's overturned. Oh. You're going to start seeing a lot more now. Yeah, or? Roe v. Wade's overturned. Right, right. Or a lot more, or a lot less coat hangers available. You go to Walmart, Turkey, you'd be like, how come they're

out of coat hangers? Is this a pandemic? Nah, there's a lot of girls getting yanked out of bodies. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, Yanni. Jesus Christ. Yeah, I just feel like I don't see 14 or 15-year-olds pushing carriages anymore. Yeah. There was a period where you saw that a lot?

In the 90s, I felt like there was a lot of young moms. In Brooklyn, Lower East Side. Yeah, just pushing carriages. Well, you know, I think maybe people, especially- 16 back then was like 34 years old. Yeah. Yeah, it was. And I think maybe that's what it is.

People just grow up slower now. And kind of part of it makes sense. When I was thinking about that, I was going like, you know what? People live longer now. So it makes sense that they grow up longer because they live longer. Back then it was like if you weren't a man by 24, there's a good chance you won't get a chance to be a man. You know, get married and all that stuff. Because you could die sooner.

Whereas now, you're like, you're kind of counting on the fact you're going to at least make it to 77, 78, which is the average now. That is the average now, right? Yeah, it used to be, like, lower. But now, yeah. Men die quicker. They die quicker, yeah. In the 50s or something.

So we go down with the hearts. I had my heart checked. I had a calcium scan. How are we looking? I got some, I have some plaque. I got some buildup. Uh-oh. I have, it's not, he said I have a 2% chance.

My cholesterol good, all my numbers are good. I have a 2.5% chance to have a heart attack over the next 10 years. But, so that's not bad. 2.2% chance. But I have a worse score than 86% of people my age. So that's not great to hear. It's crazy. This is the shit that we're talking about in our mid-age.

I can't believe I'm a mid-age guy. That's weird to me. Yeah, because I still have the spirit of a young man, and I hang around young people, but I'm a little bit, I think about shit like that, but I'm still like a creep. More of a creep. Yeah, because I'm older now like that, but I'm still like a creep. More of a creep. Yeah, because I'm older now. Yeah, more. So the primitive mind doesn't really evolve.

So every now and then, I ask a young girl a creepy question like, how old are you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How old are you? Yeah. You can feel that shit. I don't need to do that.

But it's really... You covet more because there's less opportunity. You know that they're looking at you less. Yeah, I crunch my teeth and I'm like, ah. And you're not even trying to look cool anymore because you know there's no chance because you're older. So you're not even trying to look cool or try to... So you just let the creep come out on the face. Yeah, I feel like they can read it.

Yeah. I'll go cross-eyed lip i've caught myself sometimes when i'm masturbated i don't even i'm just like yeah i mean you ever been in a situation where someone's like jesus christ oh my god oh wait we wait. We broke it. We broke it. Oh, I'm so sorry. What did we break? A frame. A what?

A frame. I'm so sorry. Oh, that's all right. Just don't want to. We got to stop the pot so she doesn't step on it. Yeah. That's all right. That's all right, man.

It's Jackie Gleason. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Koda, Koda. Come over here. We'll be right back after these messages. Everything's okay. Everything's okay. Just a little bit of a glass.

You know, to be honest with you, when you got a dog that size, it makes sense something got knocked over. You know, it was wild that I had a feeling something like that would happen. And yet, even with that intuition, I still brought the dog here. Yeah, but it's not a big deal. I want to get my intuition. The big deal is only that there was glass over there if she knocked over something else

it would have been fine what's that saying? look how calm I am about it because it was nothing valuable it's just a sign it's fine if it was a camera I would have been like

yeah you know it might have been a good idea to keep him behind I didn't know if I said you could bring another dude here she's a fool it's like a woman when you bring that dog over

you can't say hey you gotta tell people you gotta go hey When you bring that dog over, you can't say, hey, you got to tell people. You got to go, hey, can I bring my dog over? Because if they don't know, especially girls, they'll be like, of course, bring your dog over. And then you show up with a full human-sized puppy. Yeah, she's like the size of a small Asian person. Right? Yeah. She's like a featherweight boxer.

Right, she's a strawweight. Yeah, she's a strawweight. Yeah, she's a strawweight. Look at her. Can anyone ever remember the weight classes? No. Anyone? Do you remember them? You know them?

What is that, strawweight, featherweight, bantamweight, lightweight, cruiserweight? That's ridiculous. It's hard to remember. Yeah, it's ridiculous. And it's almost like a three or four pound difference. Yeah, light heavyweight. Yeah. Boxing is such a dirtbag sport.

Seriously. Yeah. What way? I just think it's dirtbag in the sense where, you know, now like the superstars, they'll fight somebody who's worthy, but then they'll try to dry them out. What does that mean? Meaning they'll have them fight at a catch weight. For example.

Oh, right, right, right. So Canelo's a superstar. He's on what they call the A-side. So if he wants to fight someone for their title, like a cruiserweight who's a 200 pounder, he said,

yo, to fight me, an A-list boxer, and get this money, you got to drop down to 180 for your cruiserweight title. So then they got to go

and do the whole sauna, get everything out of you. Yeah, they got to look like Christian Bale in The Machinist to fight him. What's the point of that though? Because then they can rehydrate back up to a higher weight. Yeah, but it's of me. Yeah, they got to look like Christian Bale in The Machinist to fight him. What's the point of that, though? Because then they can rehydrate back up

to a higher weight. Yeah, but it's not healthy. You're draining your body. You're beating your body up. So they know the advantage is the other boxer's drained. Exactly. There's a lot of that. Yeah. It's the same thing in wrestling. In college, they do the same thing.

They do the same thing in UFC. They dry out if they're not making weight, but they got to make weight. But in this instance, he's fighting for a Cruiserweight title, asking God, I want to fight for your title. That's a 200-pound weight division.

Right. You don't ask someone and say, but you got to come down to 180, but I still want your 200-pound title. Right, right, right. It's derping. And cutting weight and making weight is hard enough. Right, right, right. It's derping. And cutting weight and making weight is hard enough. Right, right, right, right.

But, you know, he is the A-side. Right, so they have that. He just signed a $100 million deal, fight deal, right? So how does that work in boxing? Is it promoters? Who did he sign a deal with? Did you hear about that? Yeah, I mean, he says it's the promoters.

So it's promoters. So then they just, do they have the fights already planned out? Or are they just going, we have you for this amount of fights and we'll figure out who the fights are going to be? That's the way it's done, yeah. That shows he's got a lot

of star power if they give him 100 mil up front. He's generating a lot of money. He generates a lot of money. He's kind of one of the only ones who still generates that right just thinking i can't think of another professional but superstar like that he's like the only one since mayweather mayweather yeah since mayweather started fighting uh the gaudy grandson yeah canelo has boxing has really it's in its final form i hate to say that because i grew up on it really, it's in its final form. I hate to say that. Because I grew up on it too, but it's in its final form. There's too many organizations.

It's in its final form. Let's be honest. I hate to say it, Serge. It's in its final form. It's in its final form. It might be. I think so. I think when it's become like, you know, I think right now UFC is just, they did that thing.

It's sort of like, you know what it's like? It's like blockbuster video. It feels like blockbuster video when everything starts streaming. Yeah, because the guys who are fanatical about it look like me. They got a little gray on their beard.

Yeah, yeah. And I'm kind of like checked out a little bit. Yeah, yeah. But what's interesting- They got a little gray on their beard when they don't just ferment it.

Right. How much do you put in there? No, I don't just ferment it. You just have a little streak? Yeah. That's a nice streak. It's coming out. It's coming out.

But that's nice. Mine's full blown. Have I thought about it? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I haven't thought about it, but I'm not doing it. Yeah. I'm not doing that. Yeah.

Yeah, I can't do that, man. It's too much. Versi goes jet black. Oh, does he? He does it. Yeah, he gets it out of there. Yeah. I can't do that man

It's just You know the thing is I do think I'm a little too light skinned To have a full white beard So now I'm gonna be Boar head with an all white beard I'm gonna look like

A little sperm In the punching bag You got time though I think you're so Not even close to it You got a couple years Yeah It could come on quick though

Did it come on quick for you? Yeah And early too Like mine went in the you? Yeah. And early, too. Mine went in the 30s. Yeah, you were early. Yeah, I feel like right after COVID, you don't realize how much stress you're going through, and I think that hit, you know. It didn't feel stressful, but

the great depth, 2019, full blast. Like, I had one or two. And then after, like, the end of 2019 it started sprinkling out yeah so boxing yeah I think just boxing

it kind of has that blockbuster video feel where it's like yeah it's an older generation UFC does it every week they give you the fights you want to see immediately

you don't got to wait around there's always an exciting fight coming you can watch any fight and there are exciting fights in boxing right now. There are very exciting ones.

Yeah. You got Errol Spence against Crawford. I want to see that. Ryan Garcia and Tank Dysford. There's a lot of good fights coming up. And maybe they realize that

so they're bumping it up because there are a lot of great fights and this consecutively happening. And they do do big numbers still. Yeah. So it should be i you know i i think it'll be fine but i uh i also don't totally disagree with you i i don't think it's

gonna be what it ever was back in days because there's so many other forms of entertainment especially in combat sports right and also in boxing they also have you have the the youtubers and stuff who are generating a younger audience. But that shit is dirtbag. Right. Because a lot of times you have them fighting each other. And I guess we get caught up in the gossip of it and just like, oh, this is interesting. But it's not really, they're not top-notch athletes. Right.

Right. And it's dirtbag to have a guy like Jake Paul fight someone who's punchy. Right. And he's set up to fight Nate Diaz. And that's mad irresponsible. Yeah, it is. I mean, Nate Diaz. He's gonna, he's gonna. And that's Matt Irresponsible. Yeah, it is. I mean, Nate Diaz is 40-something,

right? He's got a, I mean. Much smaller. Much smaller, and he's got, he's done. Yeah.

He's, he's like, he talked, he's like, let's have my name. That's just sad. It's sad. I mean,

he's taking a lot of blows. It's, it's really sad that they're doing it. And no one, it's a breeze. No one steps in and says, hey,

maybe you shouldn't take this fight. Yeah. Because, you know, you don't sound the healthiest. Like, people just notice that there's a guy. And, dude, in boxing. It's probably going to be his biggest payday, too. Yeah.

And, you know, tell me how much, how important it is in boxing. When a dude's that much smaller, I mean, it's like, you can hit him a bunch. It's not going to hurt him, right? It's not going to hurt. And he doesn't have any power to that. He doesn't have that much power at all anyway. Yeah, dog. For his size.

It doesn't look good for him. Because you're stripping of discipline to just stand up boxing. And he's older. He's probably not at his healthiest. And he's smaller. Like, there's a lot against him. Yeah. And Jake Paul is going at boxing hard. Like, he's boxing, you know.

Yeah. Has the world gotten very gossipy? Have you noticed that? Yeah. Even men gossip now. Yo, son. About the news, everything. We're just like, what's going on?

Ew. Hunter Biden. Hunter Biden. Well, I even noticed with certain podcasts, not so much in the East Coast, but in the West Coast. Like every now and then clips will come up. And I'm not sure if this is an LA thing. But they're talking about, you know, oh, he said this and he said that. I'm like, yo, what is it?

So it's become like a reality TV show. It's very reality TV show-ish. Yeah, and it's like podcasts that are popping. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That are popping, and I'm like, holy shit. Everything's gotten very gossipy. Yeah. Even like when it's about politics.

It's not like about policy anymore. You know, it's like nobody's going like, I really love his economic policy. It's very Milton Friedman. It's more like, what did fucking Boebert say to marry Tyler Green? Get the fuck. Did you see how she fucking AOC owned that bitch in the fucking chamber? in the fucking chamber. And then fucking Schumer came and he said, it's almost like everyone's trying to do a mic drop on everybody. So we got in very fucking reality. Reality TV is bad for us.

It's almost like you're living your real life like a reality TV. It's weird. That gets a little sad when you try to monetize everything. Yeah. That's a little weird when you wake up and you're like,

what's up, I'm up. How you doing? I'm up, I'm awake. What's going on? I'm awake. Breakfast, breakfast. Here we go. It's called Sergio.

Sergio! Everybody, Sergio, here you go. It's called Sergio. Sergio! Everybody, Sergio, here you go. And you know what the friends are. You know when people start filming and you didn't expect to be on. And you're like, hey, yeah, hey. How's it going, man? Yeah. You know, yeah.

You try to perform, but you didn't even want to. Yeah, Sean McCombo. All right, here we go. Yeah. You know, I've been in situations where there's cameras everywhere, and I just can't turn it on like that. I catch myself on a canoe. I thought I was just going to have a good time on a canoe,

and someone whips out a camera. It's like, yo, say something funny, crazy. I'm just like, you know, I'm swollen from the fucking Thai food I had the night before. I'm not wearing a shirt that I like. I feel like my belly stays like, oh, it's too much. My hat is too small. You're not camera ready. I'm not camera ready.

I'm not feeling it. It's like, you know. Here's the thing. This is what I'm really worried about, to be honest with you. And you tell me if you agree, Serge. What I'm really worried about is you look at previous generations, right? And they, you know, they start acting a certain way. And older generations kind of shit on them always, right? And they, um, you know, they, they start acting a certain way and older generations kind

of shit on them always. Right. And the newer generations are always doing something positive that they get shit on. Like, you know, the sixties, they were enacting chains. They were doing civil rights. They were opening their minds with drugs and talking about peace and unity. The music was incredible. The musicianship was incredible. musicianship was incredible the creativity was incredible there was good things going on so i feel like the older generation was wrong i feel like the older generation they were just curmudgeon-y in there but i think when we say it i think we're right that's just i think we're i think we were a sexier generation. Like, I think we had rock and roll. I mean, is it fucking rock and roll to, like, take a picture wherever you are and take a picture of your food and be like, oh, my God, I'm here with this person?

What's up? Yeah, yeah. Let me get some likes on Instagram. Is there anything less fucking sexy than, like, trying to look cool on Instagram? Yeah, yeah. I was walking to Central Park the other day and these three girls, they were taking a picture, like a selfie, and it reminds me of some shit you used to send to past.

It took like 20 minutes. And they were like, hashtag cutegirlsofNYC. Are you going to hashtag that? CutegirlsofNYC. Dude, we used to drink 40, smoke weed, bring girls over, hide in closets. It was a lot of fun. It was like, you know, just, I mean, play basketball, we'd be outside, I mean, you know, play basketball.

We'd be outside. We'd go to parties, you know. We'd get chased. You sound like such a boomer right now. Such a boomer, right? No, but we were out fucking side, man. You know, it's funny. Maybe we're wrong.

Maybe everyone's outside. Thankfully, I haven't hung out with 14-year-olds. So I don't know what they're doing. I always go by music, and I'm a big hip-hop fan, and there's a lot of hip-hop right now. So when we came up... Sometimes at times where I'm like, I'd like to cool down, yeah. You're a big, big hip-hop fan. I learned that at 1 in the morning coming back from Syracuse

when I was trying to concentrate on the road when there was Misty Hayes going. It's like 2 in the morning, we're fucking Misty Hayes. I'm trying to concentrate. I got mob deep blaring in my ear. Let's go 98.7. Less 97.1. It was your idea to go down to...

He wants to go to Syracuse at 1 o'clock in the morning. It was a stupid idea. Yeah, we left Gotham Comedy Club at 1 in the morning, and we were driving, and it looked like we were going to... Dogs. We were on a desolate highway. It was like a rain that you couldn't see, and I was tired, and I was like,

yo, I got to really concentrate. The thing is, I can't tell. You want to be a confident driver. You want to make the passenger... We couldn't see like 10 feet ahead of us. I should have just said hey search i don't feel safe right now but you didn't have any idea you spoke to lucy out the window blair and fucking lamont whatever unknown hip-hop rapper from the 90s fucking big l on 10 just smoking cigarette leg up i didn't want to ruin your time. I'm sitting there like, this one, last song.

Ten and two. I cut you off, though, for a joke. You're a hip-hop fan. No, no, it was... You judge everything by music. Yeah, so the hip-hop now... So when we listen to Mobb Deep, those guys,

they got involved in some shit. But there's a specific genre of rap right now, and it's called drill rap. You guys heard of it? No. And it's fucking, it's like block gangster music, but they really kill each other. It's like real.

They actively keep a scoreboard. That's not good. No, it's not good. So it's like a recording of the times. It's really bad because the music speaks to what what's going on and this shit is really going on and it's that they're making money doing it so they all end up a lot of them are independent artists and they make they get tons of hits on youtube or whatever they get a record deal right then they uh they i've even heard that some of these record companies once they sign up they

buy like a life insurance policy on them right And they only live five years after their record deal. A lot of them get killed or they get locked up and they get football numbers. It's pretty wild. But with all that being said, I still listen to it. I support it. I'm listening to it. I feel very irresponsible. That is very irresponsible.

Yeah, I tap my feet. You're basically an accessory to a murder. Yeah, I feel a little irresponsible. I'm conflicted. Yeah, you should be conflicted. But the music's good though, right? Some of it gets you hyped, man, on a run. Yeah. Imagine if rappers were the tight jeans and they hold a stack of money like that. I'm listening to shit like that. I need to fucking grow up. Yo, it's like I need need to grow the fuck up. Like, I'm very disappointed in myself. Yeah, you're a father. You're a kid. You're a kid, yeah. You got snakes you need to take care of.

You're a kid. 8 o'clock in the morning, Liz is painting, Charlie's doing her schoolwork, and I'm like, your shit get ugly. Everybody about me thugging. Like, what the fuck?

I'm a 43-year-old man with heavy bags and a sore pep of beard. Like, what is wrong? Like, I don't like that. I'm like, you know. You gotta give it up. You gotta move a little bit. You gotta go like Al Green. The guys I listen to, they're called Little or Pooh.

There's a guy I listen to, his name is Pooh. Pooh Shiesty. And I like him and I follow his, I go on his Instagram, but I don't follow him, so I'm like a girlfriend. I ask a girlfriend, I say, peeks on him. You just check in. I check in. You have to search for him. Because he's in jail, so I'm like, what a reason to get home. What the fuck is wrong with me? girlfriend, I ask a girlfriend, I just peeks on him. You just check in. I check in. You have to search for him. Because he's in jail, so I'm like, what a reason to get home.

Yeah. What the fuck is wrong with me? Like, I don't have the time. And I'm doing this in my time, which is concerning. That is concerning, yeah. And I'm fully aware, though, and that makes it worse that I'm not ignorant. Right, right.

You're fully aware. It would be better if you were unaware. If I was, yeah. If I was really like, yeah, this is it. But I'm fully aware. It was like when I was using drugs, I was really like, yeah, this is it. But I'm fully aware. It was like when I was using drugs, I was fully aware of the repercussions of it. That's why it's like a little bit of a drug. It feels irresponsible.

And I don't have a good grip on it. I'm like, is it okay to listen to this shit? What is it? It gets you hype and you like that. It gets you hype. But I catch myself saying the words like, what an inappropriate time. Yeah, yeah. And I'm saying, everybody around me thugging. No one's th what an inappropriate time. Yeah, yeah. And I'm saying, everybody around me thugging.

No one's thugging around me. Yeah, no, no. Your wife is attending to the backyard. Yeah, yeah. And I know it turns her off. Charlie's putting together a mixtape to impress you. Yeah, yeah. And I know it turns Liz off.

I say it, and she goes like this, oh, God. I know her vagina just fucking dries up and cracks and falls in the sleeve of her, the hemming of her jogging pants. Yeah, no, she didn't want to date a teenager from the 90s. No, she doesn't want to hear that. She goes, oh, my God. She goes, ugh, and then she walks away. Her butt sticks out like that.

Yeah, yeah. She's married to one of the kids from Criss Cross. Yeah, yeah, it's fucking. Yeah, your daughter's making a compilation of singer-songwriter songs. You're like, hold up, let me finish listening to Little Murderer. Yeah. So there's old school music that I already figured. I've come to grips with this music means something to me.

For example, you know, you can't play R. Kelly everywhere. People will shut you down. A younger person would tell you, R. Kelly seems inappropriate. I've had that done. Like, inappropriate. Oh, they were all going to play R. Kelly seems inappropriate. I've had that done. Like, hmm, inappropriate. Oh, they were all going to play R. Kelly.

They'll do that shit? Right. That new age? Hmm, you know. You're like, the music didn't do anything to anyone. He did it.

It's the song. So I say, yo, and I feel like telling them, yo, the fact of the matter is I lost my virginity to R. Kelly, so it means a lot to me. It means a lot.

You're not taking that from me. I mean, I didn't lose my virginity to him. He didn't fuck me. Right. That sounded so bad. Yeah, exactly. You guys believe me, I didn't lose my virginity to him. He didn't fuck me. Right. I saw this so bad. Yeah, exactly. You guys believe me, right?

I lost my virginity to R. Kelly's song. Right. So I have a close affinity. It seems like you're ready. How does that one go? Seems like you're ready. It was on the first album. Yeah.

I felt like I was there. Yeah. Yeah. I left my boxes on too. Yeah, you did? Yeah. You pulled it through the hole? Yeah.

I remember those days. I remember that insecurity. They were my best. I had a feeling I was going to get assed. Yeah. So all my other ones were like briefs with maybe a little stain on it. These are clean, red, plaid, and I wore them shits. You remember the loose boxer days?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Remember the loose boxer days? What was the point of those? They're loose. Like, it's not holding anything. Why were those underwear? Yeah. What was the point of those they're loose like it's not holding anything why were those underwear yeah what was the point of those i still rock those you don't get boxer briefs nah i rocked the loose one jesse you gotta join the rest of the world in 2023 dog i like the i mean you still you gotta fucking join the rest of the world

you're still wearing boxer shorts yeah like my dad did when he died? Hanes. Yeah. Loose? Just walking as loose as your pants? Those are the most comfortable. They don't have any buttons. It's just like... No support for your junk. I like the freedom.

What do you wear, Sergio? I wear boxer briefs. Everyone wears boxer briefs. We updated. The world updated. That's like saying you still listen to fucking 8-tracks. It's like having a DVD player. You may be the only...

Here, in this room right now, we may have the only person who punched a drug dealer and then later journaled. And the only person who still may be wearing just boxers. I don't even think they have boxers when you go to the store. I don't think you can get them. Amazon. You can get boxers on Amazon? What brand?

Haynes? Haynes. Oh, you got like 20 for like... Oh, yeah. the computer doesn't put a question mark up like what yeah they asked me how old i am coda's like coda's like listen i don't understand podcasting all i know is i want to play i don't know what you're doing you're sitting around with your boy this is work he's like yo give me something to pull i need to pull My dad fucking pulled 2,000 fucking pounds I got to knock some shit over I just want to go to his brain right now

What the fuck? What's this? What does that smell? I want to knock that over Is that a Chinese guy out there? I can smell him Look at this guy Let me go back to this guy

This guy's got a dog He's a country dog, right? Yeah, I mean, she loves it up there No, you want to know what's funny about that dog? That dog has the life of a hedge fund CEO in the city during the week, and then on the weekends goes out to the wife.

There you go. Dog, did you know you right now have the life of a hedge fund CEO? Yeah, going to the house on the weekend. You see the family on the weekend. During the week, you're staying in New York, in your apartment in New York.

Yeah. So you've got two spots. Yeah, and now I don't even want to do any stand-up. I love doing stand-up, and I want to continue to train people. But a lot of times, I think about opening this aviary, like a reptile farm or what's the one with the birds? Aviary? Aviarium?

I think, I don't know. I just went for it there. Yeah. Anyway, I just want to work for animals. I know you told me that. I just want to be secluded. I tried to talk you off the ledge. Yeah, I want to bring carne de cosos and Russian tortoises. Part of me wants them to just do that There's nothing wrong with that

You know This is starting from scratch Yo, yeah Yo, you know what's funny, dog? I didn't even notice this Because I hadn't watched the Maurica, like, fourth video in years Like, I haven't fucking watched it That's the one that we did in the apartment, the studio

No, no, no This was, like, before I knew you when I did Maurica Like, we had had, like, one or you when I did Maurice. Okay. We had had like one or two conversations. I didn't really know you that well. And I was watching the fourth Maurice video and there's a part in it

where she says, I got a pet snake. Remember she's like, I got a pet snake. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did I get, is that, did I know you then?

I don't know. Or did I just, is that some very Puerto Rican shit though? Is that some Puerto Rican shit? I think it's Puerto Rican shit. I think it's Puerto, yeah, you guys,

yeah, because guys, yeah, because Angelo had chickens in the bathtub, too. He had chickens in the bathtub? He told me a story. Yeah, his uncle had chickens in the bathtub. His uncle came from the village in Puerto Rico, and he would let the chickens hang out, and they got hungry one night.

Him and his uncle and his father got, or another uncle, whatever, got drunk one night, and they were hungry, so they slaughtered one of the chickens in the apartment because he was from the village. I get it, though, dude. Like, I have relatives in Greece. That's how they eat. Yeah, they might have a goat just chilling in the back.

No, they just eat. They take the chicken. They take the eggs. They fucking slaughter the goats. But I just think that's funny that it happened in an apartment in Washington Heights. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I had a neighbor.

And Angelo said he was sad. He said he loved the chicken. He loved the chicken. I remember that story, actually. But I was watching the video. I was like, holy shit. Is that just a fucking, is that a coincidence? Like, fucking, did I chat?

Am I fucking, I think all Puerto, I guess all Puerto Ricans have exotic animals. Yeah, then, you know, we're not opposed to having them in a New York City tenement. We're not opposed. No. Puerto Rico New York City tenement. We're not opposed. Puerto Rico, New York, tons of Puerto Rico. Puerto Ricans everywhere. A couple of hot spots always. L.E.S. Hot spots.

What are the hot? Washington Heights, but a lot of Dominicans. But the Puerto Rican hot spots growing up. The Bronx. The Bronx was a big hot spot. What neighborhoods in Brooklyn? Sunset Park. Sunset Park.

Sunset Park was a big hot spot. Lower East Side. Those were probably the two biggest harlem spanish harlem yeah those are probably the four right there yeah yeah for sure so you got yeah sunset park um sunset park washington heights the bronx spanish harlem and the les those were the hot spots where you went there he's like you that was fucking you were you were in Puerto Rico. There was a lot of Puerto, and we had a lot of Puerto Ricans here. Wait, I'm getting confused. We're not, I looked at you and I'm like, we're on 6th Street.

In Park Slope. In Park Slope. We had a lot of Puerto Ricans. Fifth Avenue. Fifth Avenue and down. A lot of Puerto Ricans. Yeah. Was that guy, that battle rapper, Pumpkinhead Puerto Rican?

Yes, he died. Unfortunately, they named the block after him. Yeah, man, I was watching some battle raps of him. He was fucking dope. He was dope. He was dope. That dude could rhyme. And he had a little moment.

Yeah, he did. He had a moment. How'd he die again? Like heart failure, right? Heart something. Yeah, it was like some shocking heart thing. I don't know. I spoke to him right before he, like closely before he died.

Like we were like talking. I went back. I hate when you know when someone dies, you go back and look at the messages. I hate that shit. Those battle rappers, rappers like that have like the same kind of lifestyle of a comic trying to break in.

It's a lot of traveling, like eating like shit, you know, hanging out. You know, I almost feel like they kind of missed, they were in between eras too. You know what I mean? Like kind of like us, they were our I almost feel like they kind of missed, they were in between eras too. You know what I mean?

Like kind of like us, our age, they were our age group. So they were like in the old world, like trying to break it in the old world as the new world was emerging. But they were kind of a little too older. So they kind of missed that like do it yourself, put it out there. Because they had some fucking songs that if they were younger and put out like, they some fucking like i put them in the i put one of their songs in the maurice video that's right is is that's a word of mouth and pumpkin head yeah so one of their independent songs is in that video and if they would have put that song out like now on like fucking soundcloud and all that those songs were banging and lyrically like through the roof.

But they were just like, that was a time where the internet wasn't popping yet. You know, it was like early 2000s, 2002. You know, they were in their late 20s, 2002. So you just, it's just missed it. Well, they're that young. I thought they were older. Late 20s.

Well, Pumpkinhead. Yeah, no, it was early 30s or late 20s around therekinhead Yeah no Early 30s Late 20s Around there Early 2000s For sure Early 30s Maybe early 30s Yeah Finally yeah

Finally they give in Finally Koda's going down Oh yeah She's not happy about it though Well I also hope That I gave her some fentanyl Oh you did?

Yeah She can handle it Everybody of search Is like If she knocks something over I'm like Whoop Here's a house that I gave her some fentanyl. Oh, you did? Yeah. She can handle it. That'd be funny if Serge is like, if she knocks something over, I'm going to, whoop, he's a little bong. You gave her Benadryl. You knocked out the dog on the plane, right?

Yeah, for like four, she knocked out for like three or four hours. Was she just up there like, like a dog? Yeah, she looked like every other freaking dope head on Avenue A in the Lower East Side. She's a beautiful dog. She's got kind eyes, too.

I love big, tough dogs that are kind. Yeah. You know? That's a fun combination. People get scared when she's walking down the street. Oh, yeah, man. They go, I love dogs. Yeah, it depends, right?

Because if I'm not in the mood, I just, like, look straight. Because there's a lot of attention I'm getting with this dog, right? And, you know, I could see people. But if I make eye contact with somebody and they go, oh, my God, and I say something to them, then she'll say, oh, this is okay, say hello. And then she loves the attention. And she'll lay up in the middle of the street and have all these people petting her. It's a lot.

It's a lot. And I kind of like her. I have a feeling she's going to be the type of dog that is a little more assertive as she gets older. My dog, Curry, was too sweet. You want a dog to set boundaries with people. I was walking this my dog. Wait, what do you mean by set boundaries? Not everybody is to be trusted. Right was walking this mile. Wait, what do you mean by set boundaries? Like, you know, not everybody is to be trusted.

Right, right, right. If you see someone without shoes. Right, right, right, right, right. Walking out and they got dirty fingernails, that's a red flag. Right, right, right.

Right? So one time I'm walking down the street with my dog, my previous dog, Curry, and this guy was huge. He looked like he was probably 230 pounds

and he was muscular and he was barefoot and he was shirtless. And Curry was like, yeah. And she's like, oh, who's this? And yo,

he, from far away, he does this. And starts clapping his hands and getting a catcher stance like that. Come here, girl. And she ran over to him

and threw her back at him. He's like, I used to have these dogs in Alabama. And he's literally smacking her ass in a weird way. Yeah. And he's squeezing her. And then she looks at me like,

oh, shit. I'm a little uncomfortable. I'm like, look what you put us into. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look what you got us into. Yeah. And then he smacked her butt again And she was like

And I just wish That she would have Had the fucking sense Yeah To get away from that situation Because what if you Would have smacked my ass Right

Yeah plus yeah Yeah Dogs Sometimes dogs Love humans too much Yeah so you know It's nice to have a dog Set some boundaries

And know This guy's strange Yeah Read the room Yeah yeah Read the room a little bit You know Read the room My dog, yeah. Read the room a little bit. You know? Read the room.

My dog's very skeptical of people at first. She's such a good watchdog. That must have been what she was bred for a little bit. I know she's a mutt. She's a street dog. Mostly lab kind of it looks like. But she's a watchdog. Any person coming, it's rough.

But I'm so used to her now. I just go, she goes and smells and then it's fine. So I know there's never, she's not a biter. That's not her thing. She's a watchdog though. She'll bark. She's scary. She's got a loud bark.

But all she does is goes, it doesn't even make, it's funny how we bred them because the dog is, you can tell the dog's making noise because someone's there. And that's all that they do. Because then after that, they go and love them. So it's like, they're just letting you know, like, hey, someone's there and that's all that they do. Because then after that, they go and love them. So it's like they're just letting you know, hey, someone's here. You make the call whether it's a bad situation or not.

Because if you don't do something, make it so they're bad, then they're my new owner. I don't know any difference. I'll go to them. I'm just letting you know Somebody's here It's up to you to figure out

Whether they're a criminal or not It's on you Have you ever had a weird situation At the house Or nothing Right It's just quiet up there Have you ever

With an animal or anything Oh animals Yeah Animal Oh yeah dude Yeah we got We got We saw a limping

What do you call those Not a mountain lion A fox No no no The other type of cat That we have in New York Bobcat Bobcat

So we saw a limping bobcat And you know I was in the backyard My wife called animal control They come real quick They don't have a lot to do all day They showed up like in 30 seconds And then they stayed and talked

I'm like you guys Yeah I mean when you're an animal When you're an animal cop They're animal cops They showed up like in 30 seconds. And then they stayed and talked. I'm like, you guys. Yeah. I mean, when you're an animal cop, they're animal cops. So they don't got nothing going on. Yeah, upstate New York is not a lot of activity. Animals don't commit crimes. There's no, there's no, so they got nothing to do. Unless somebody's like breeding dogs to fight or, you know, or having chickens and bathtubs. Yeah.

So they were like animal welfare cops or whatever. They got guns and everything, which is funny they show up, but they were lingering too long talking to us because that's how I knew they didn't have anything to do. I was like, we're not that curious. I don't have that many questions. Because they were like, yeah, you know, that one was probably okay.

We got a call about that. A couple other neighbors told us, Bobcat, as long as you stay away from the Bobcat, you know, they want to share their knowledge with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but, you know, you don't want a dog. You want to keep the dogs away because if the dog charges, that's when the Bobcat engages.

And they use words like that, engages. They don't say, like, shit like that's when it'll attack. It's like protocol. That's when the Bobcat will engage your dog. That's hilarious. They can be pretty aggressive when they engage. Yeah, dog. I mean, we got the ring camera.

I've seen all types of stuff. Foxes, by the way, are gorgeous. I mean, they're the most beautiful. Dude, when you look at a fox in the face, I can't believe these wasps kill foxes. They go on fox hunts and stuff. First of all, they're smart. They kill shit.

They have black dress socks on, too, right? They're about to go to a bachata dancing. They got black dress socks. They're regal. They're regal, and they got greenish, yellowish, gorgeous eyes. They're smelly, though. I hear they're very smelly animals. I never got that close.

You got close? I domesticated one. I'm sure you did. That's another word that they would use. You can't domesticate these animals. You guys don't want to engage with them. No, don't engage. They're not domesticated.

Right, right, right. They're not domesticated animals. These are wild animals here. Do not engage. Engage is a big word. So, yeah, they look at you, dog. They're gorgeous, and they're deep. They're, like, smart.

Like, I guess that's where it comes from. You can see how smart they're, like, they'll get to your chickens. If you have chickens, they'll smart. I guess that's where it comes from. You can see how smart they are. They'll get to your chickens. If you have chickens, they'll get to you. If you have a little mini dog or whatever, you leave it out, they'll get it. I want to have chickens, but you've got to have the fence and everything. You should get them. You get free eggs. You get free organic eggs, but you have to go

underground because they'll dig under. The foxes will dig under and get you. You've got to put the fence. They're crafty. Wow, look at Jesse. He pulled up the story about a 525-pound tiger living in Harlem. Remember that story? I remember the story. The guy got bit.

Look at that. That's such an iconic New York City photo. Yes. Is it a project building? It wasn't. The Bronx or Harlem? It was in Harlem. Harlem.

What it says right there. Yeah, I mean, wild. So the story goes, right? He got the kitten. He had it for like a year or two. And he got bit by the cat. And then he went to the hospital and told them, oh, yeah, I got bit by my pit bull. And they were like, this looks a little suspect.

And then they called the cops and said, he got sliced by a machete, a machete. Or there's a fucking, there's a real problem going on. And they sent the authorities, and they found that fucking tiger. And that tiger was only loyal to that one owner. One time the brother went in, and he said that he saw like a cue ball in the darkness, like a green eye just turned around. It was like the size of a cue ball, and it was a tiger's eye.

Can you imagine? Down the hall. And it went. Yeah. around it was like the size of a cuboid it was a tiger's eye can you imagine down the hall yeah yeah you're like yo i i think you forgot to tell me you own a tiger man and just buying like crazy raw meat and storing it on the floor yeah you have company over you hear oh yeah i forgot to tell you guys is anyone allergic to tigers i mean look at how aggressive it was you know it's, it's a wild scene. Dude, imagine being that tiger and just all your instincts that you're born with and your brain has nothing to do with this environment.

You're probably fucking bugging out, dude. You're seeing a guy hanging out a window in the sky. First of all, you're like, what the fuck is a window? Why can't I kill this guy? Why can't I see him? And why can't i kill this guy why can i see him and why can't i kill him i bet you a lot of animals at the zoos are like that too like gorillas are going like why can't i fucking kill this person doing this why can't i yeah there's a little mold yeah it's a dry mold yeah one of the funniest stories i ever heard was when i was doing

social work i was working with working with this guy who's now a Lutheran pastor. We talked about him in another episode. But he also told me this other story that he had a friend who went on a first date to a zoo. And... Did I tell you this story? I laughed.

I mean, it was like, I'll never be able to recreate it, but the way he told to me, I don't know why, because I pictured it. And he told to me seriously because it did happen. So he was with the girl and he was on a date. He really liked the girl. He was impressed with the girl. They went to the zoo.

And it was one of those open enclosures with the monkeys, right? And he started taunting the monkeys. And all the monkeys All the monkeys Started pelting him with shit Him and his date And they were connecting Like cause they were in It was one of those things where

You can look at them down low And you're walking above I don't know what zoo it was It was like a rainforest Yeah like something like that Where you're walking above And you're walking So he was in it

So they couldn't get away So the monkeys were jumping up And fucking pelting them And they were covered in shit That's wild Fucking covered them in shit Like strikes Just bang bang

And the girls screaming and running And they just And then afterwards He saw like There were signs everywhere Do not taunt the monkeys That's fucking wild Yeah They will throw shit at you dog yeah yeah so uh oh i've these are some of my favorite videos dog if you ever get in a dark place

these are i think these i'm this is a message to anyone out there if you ever get a dark place i think one of the good things about the internet is not when you start watching bad stuff and other you know like cop videos you can find stuff like this where chimps are throwing things at people at the zoo i know it gets jesse every time there's nothing better i mean is there anything better that they really pelt it too. In her face? It's on her nose?

Yeah, he went underhanded. Why is she removing it? He came from under. He gave a softball pitch. I wish you could pull that in and see it bigger. He came from under. I didn't see that. He gave a softball pitch. Fucking shit letter. Oh, my God. I wish you could pull that in and see it bigger. She's in a wheelchair. She couldn't get out of the way.

She's in a wheelchair. Oh, damn. Do you ever see the one where they throw it at the little girls? The little girls were taunting them? I've never seen this one. There's so many videos. Yeah, they're so fun. Oh, God.

Yeah, he's throwing some little kids were taunting him. And they do it like this. This is the one. This is the one. That's a baboon. Yeah, it's a baboon. This is the best.

They have the weirdest chapped asses. Yeah, this is the best. Oh, he threw something at him. Yeah, yeah, it's the best. He's like,oon. Yeah, it's a baboon. This is the best. They have the weirdest chapped asses. Yeah. This is the best. Oh, did you do something about it? Yeah, yeah. It's the best. He's like, oh, yeah.

Hold on a second. This is it. Uh-oh. They're taunting him? Yeah. Don't taunt the monkeys. Oh. Yeah, he don't like it.

He's like, all right, what can I get you? Oh, shit. Oh, damn it. He's like, all right, what can I get you? Oh, shit. Oh, damn it. First. Oh, my God. Face. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Where's the napkin? We need a napkin. We need a napkin. I wonder what that is. I wonder why they throw the shit at you. They're so smart.

They know it's offensive. Yeah. They know, yeah. They know. It comes out rapid fire, too, right? at you they're so they're so smart they know it's offensive yeah no yeah it comes out rapid fire too right he threw like like chinese stars like six of them at once it's funny it's funny is that he didn't he had that on the side he went he had a pile yeah he was like where's my where's my shit he's like where's my shit he's like i'll teach these little chicks yeah he made like an angry face. Yeah, he did.

Went to the side. He had like a stash. He was not thrilled about it. He had a stash of fecal matter. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, when this kid told me this story, I was just, it was just, I started cracking up, dying laughing.

That was good. I mean, imagine being on a first date and you're just caught in this area and they're just pelting you. And it was all the monkeys started throwing shit. So they walked out and he said there was shit all over them. Imagine a story I heard from a... I was reading this, it was called Road Story. It's a book about comedy and comics on the road telling wild stories. And there was a comic, I forget his name,

but he said he went to a zoo and that he was fucking with a llama. And, you know, it was like, you can pet the llama. And he was like, and the llama fucking threw some shit out of his mouth. Spit on him. Spit on him. And, like, he smelled for the entire day.

Llama projector. And, you know, just imagine trying to move on with the day and as it dries up Even if you washed it Now you're like You want to get a sandwich Yeah Oh my

Yeah Oh god Like these girls They have to go home With a little shit on them Yeah What you Has anything bad

Happened to you Ever like that With any of your animals Listen I was trying to do A tutorial video Yeah On how to handle snakes

And how friendly they are and how they're misunderstood. And in the middle of that, I got bit by a snake. Yeah. And I was like, fuck, bitch. Kids, see what they're doing there? That's a love bite. That's a mating practice. But it was my fault because it was my Mexican black king snake.

And they call king snakes because they eat other snakes. And I was handling another snake, so she was staking my finger for another snake. So you had one of those snakes? You had a snake-eating snake? Yeah. So what did you feed? Her name is Elvira.

I got her from the Bronx. Apparently. Yeah. Because it's illegal to have that, right? No. No, no. They're illegal. It's so funny because I go on Craigslist,

and I try to bargain with people to give me their pets for free. Yeah. So I say, if you people to give me their pets for free. Yeah. So I say, if you want to make sure that your pet, you know, you want to have peace of mind and, you know, ensure your pets are going to be taken care of properly, I'm the man for you. I'll write a whole email and I'll show them pictures of my enclosure, how I set it up. And, you know, they'll be like, yeah, just take the snake, pick it up. Yeah. You know, because they're getting emails left and right of people trying to haggle down for $100 and asking dumb questions. I'm like, I know what I'm doing.

And I picked up the snake. And it's weird, man, because I went to the Bronx and this guy wasn't there who I was supposed to buy it from. His girlfriend was there. So he put her in a potentially dangerous situation. They didn't know me. So now I'm like in their apartment. Well, they're probably not someone who makes great decisions to begin with

that they have a snake-eating snake. And now now on top of that they're just giving it to a stranger off of craigslist so him not being home is probably the third least safe thing in that scenario yeah so i want to breed her i want to know what it's like to be in your head and just be you for it that you would you're just sitting there and you're going i need another snake and they just crawl on a craigslist start surfing around and then you just crawl on it, Craig, so you start surfing around. And then you actually get on the phone with a complete stranger. And you convince that complete stranger, I'm really good. I'll take care of this snake.

And then you take a drive by yourself, by yourself up there, and retrieve the snake. And then love it and take care of it for the rest of its life. Yeah. I went to West Nyack one time. Despite the laws of this land. I told you about the one I went to West Nyack one time. Despite the laws of this land. I told you about the one I went to West Nyack. How many do you have total now?

Eight. That's a lot of snakes. And one of them's a snake-eating snake? Yeah. So you have to feed it other snakes? No, no. It eats mice, but they have the potential of eating. Other snakes.

Yeah. So you got to keep that one separate from the other ones. Yeah, they're all separate from each other. Now, why are snakes so Good Why do they get a bad rep Is it because they bite They eat things

And they're sociopaths No I think because One I think is It's ingrained in us Through like the bible And everything that they're They're dark And menacing creatures

Well they don't have feelings They don't They're reptiles right Same with the Well, they don't have feelings. They don't. They're reptiles, right? Same with the crocodiles. Yeah, but a lot of animals don't have feelings. But I think the reptiles are misunderstood, right? So they have the story of Adam and Eve.

That shit's ingrained in us, right? And it's multiple stories like that. Then the fact that they eat animals that we think are cute, you know, like rabbits and shit. People don't want to see that shit. No. You know? But I find it to be very soothing and relaxing.

I love watching them. When they eat it, do you feed them rabbits sometimes? Yeah. Nah, they're all frozen thaw. They're not live. I'm not into that shit. Yeah, yeah. But it could be fun to watch once in a while. I'll watch a live that's fun.

But it's almost bad Because you know the guy That can't get away right You put him in the cage And it's like he doesn't have a shot I like it when they have a shot Yeah So it's like they got a shot

To get away But at Sergio Chico's home They don't have a shot So back in the 90's We didn't have this option Yeah We didn't get Frozen Thor I would have to go to a pet store

On 14th Street Petland Discounts Get a jumbo rat And they put it in a thin-ass box with little holes that can't even, you know,

keep a parakeet in there and I'll be on the M22 bus and the rat would get out. So I'll be on the M22 bus

with a rat in a plastic bag like, everything is okay. Yeah, how come they don't catch rats in New York City

And give them to Pet owners They're filled with disease And poison That's the problem Yeah I had a snake growing up But he was born in captivity

So he couldn't kill the rat So we used to go To the pet store And the guy would kill The rats for us He'd pull them out of a tank And just throw them Against a cinder block

That was against the wall Jesus Christ That's how shit was Back in the day Yeah And then we'd come back With like you know Eight rats And then we'd come back with like, you know, eight rats. And then we'd just throw it in the tank with them.

And the snake would eat them. Yeah, you had a snake too. I had an eight-foot boa constrictor. Yeah, I don't understand. You two are the most like thoughtful, empathetic guys I know. What's up with the fucking snakes, guys? Your snake got away and was found in the wall, right? He did escape once.

Yeah, he escaped once. My snake got pneumonia and died. It was sad. How does a snake get pneumonia? I don't know. The temperature's right. Yeah. I've been fucking up though, man. I have a very full play, a very full schedule. And three times last week, I left the enclosures open, so I walk into the apartment

just to see my seven-foot Burmese python on the floor. I'm like, oh, Oliver! You silly goose. Who's naughty? Who's getting out there? So you have to feed all eight of them. How often do they eat? Once every couple of weeks.

So it's not that hard to feed the let's-in. And where's the cat? The cat is up in the other house. And what other animals? Just the snakes? Eight snakes, one dog, one cat. That's it. In the apartment, I have eight snakes and one snakes? Eight snakes, one dog, one cat. That's it. I have, in the apartment, I have eight snakes and one dog. Eight snakes and one dog. That's not, okay, for Sergio's, that's not that bad.

I mean, at one point. We have the two cats at the house. Two cats at the house. You could get into like a, yeah, you could open a serpitarium. A serpitarium? Yeah, what are they called? Yeah, there's a serp, I think it's called a serpitarium or something like that. A reptile.

A reptile, a repitar called a serpitarium or something like that. A reptile. A reptile? A reptarium? A reptarium. You got a lot of interest, and you're good at a lot of things. I appreciate that, man. You're good at a lot of things. Like I said, I want to slow down and just work with animals. So what's going on? You've been feeling sensitive.

You've been watching stuff. You've just been getting in touch with shit. What's going on? Well. You want to go deeper. I'm in the same place. I feel like we're in the same place, same age. I think it does have a lot to do with being a father or whatever.

I think you've reached a point in your life where a lot of what, you know, not to say we're not fulfilled in many different areas in our life, but there is a spiritual aspect that I want to be filled. Right. I just want to know how I can connect to the earth to be filled. Right. You know, and like, I just want to know how I could connect to like the earth a little more. Right. You know, and,

and just like a, it just feels like I need to be more involved with, with the universe's calling or something like that. And comedy can't fulfill it. Working out can't fulfill it. My family can't fulfill it working out can't fulfill it my family can't fulfill it but i think it all correlates with one another right right you know yeah it has something to do with uh connection connection to like the source energy or other you get it through connecting with other people helping other people yeah and i also think what is inspiring these

thoughts is that we live in a weird time where we're getting bits of information that are not always good, constantly snapped at you. So it's like it's very draining and it extracts energy from you. Right, especially if you're like a sensitive person who takes things in. Yeah, I mean, if it's not one thing, it's another. It's like, you know, especially in the day

and age where all of that shit's on the internet, right? So it's like boom, boom, boom. Back to back throughout the day. Then you have your own life with your own relationships with people and those go up and down so it's like i want something that feels like you know god shit yeah so what i got something you can always kind of go back to and be like oh it's all for this what um why haven't are you thinking about like there's like yoga There's things like That are That do that

Like meditation Yoga Spiritual stuff Ayahuasca You gonna take ayahuasca I'm scared that That shit might trip me out Yeah I think it's gonna trip me out too

That's why I'm scared Yeah so My cousin did it But he He did it like the right way Where You're supposed to do it With like a shaman and all that

Yeah where he didn't Have any salt on his diet. He didn't eat any meat. There was a bunch of rules and regulations and all that. What did he say about it? He said that it was a very mild trip. Mild? Mild trip. Did he learn anything about himself or anything?

I'll put it to you like this. He lives in Chicago now. He owns a gun and he votes Republican. Oh, so he got the other way. He went all the way. He went scary. Yeah, he went scared. So I was like,

it's all bullshit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I thought he was going to be walking around barefoot going his own corn. Yeah, yeah. I, um, yeah. I try to get all, like,

I'm reading this book, The Tools, which is really good that actually Chaz Palminteri told me to read. He's actually the therapist in Hollywood that Jonah Hill did a documentary about. I sent you the name of the book.

It's incredible. We were talking about it. You read it? I saw the documentary. Yeah, well, the book is incredible. He gives you tools you can apply. I've been applying them, and they work. It really works. It's like, yeah, things like that.

It's like people who get to you, you just like, you do this thing where you're surrounded by all this warmth, all this warm energy, and then you take it and then you just give it into them. And it works. And it's just like you just kind of, you know, you're like, you just give it to them. And so just get rid of it. Because then if you start hating people, you can get in that loop. He calls it the loop of like hating someone or some injustice or something and like it just starts eating you away and it's really not doing anything for you you just go you just give you go

you just give a lot of love you throw it in there and it's like you just give it away you just get it it's not mine it's not here's love that's a that's um such a uh of of uh way to handle things no it's such a a smart way of handling things

and easier said than done and every time I've done it it always works it always works it always works it never lets you down I remember having a situation

where I felt I was like I was sliding but to let this person know that I didn't like them I would you know I would behave a certain way in front of other people

just to let them know, I still don't like you. And it was draining me. And it made everyone else feel uncomfortable. And once I let go of that shit, I felt free. I was bringing that shit home, talking to my wife about it. My daughter would overhear it. I was walking around like heavy. And it wasn't even that serious.

It was like, whatever, some bullshit i was i was harboring negativity and once i let it go i felt like yeah i felt like oh man i was just so much lighter and every now and then you gotta reintroduce yourself to the ideology because we forget and sometimes it's easier to go that that route oh it feels easier yeah no it does it feels easier and especially if you were conditioned to it by parents or something like that or by whatever your society or just whatever it is it's tough it's harder but it is it's it's more rewarding i've learned in my older years i don't have time anymore for um anyone who doesn't isn't open to new, like, if you're, like, not, if you're one of those people who just, like, stays, I'm, like, that's, that's, because that's how, like, my mom

was, you know what I mean, I thought I was, I would get, my mom was, like, a horrible narcissist, so I was, like, I thought I would be getting through to her, and then she'd come back, and it would be the same, like, no change, so I'm like triggered and traumatized by that shit. And so now I've realized like, oh, okay, that's the type of personality I want. Like I need to, anyone is in my life where I talk to has to be like, hmm. And then have the ability to change

or like learn something new or have an insight about themselves and be genuine about it and be like, you know, be growing and kind of like engage with life, not stuck in this fucking little box of like,

with a gun trying to shoot anyone who comes into it. I'm not into that. I'm not with that. Yeah, it's, I'm not even fucking with that,

I'm not even fucking with that anymore. Yeah, a lot of times the confines of like religion or politics keep people in a box like that. Yeah. It's very,

you know, whatever it is. whatever, the way they were just brought up, but you have to, you know people in a box like that. Yeah. It's very, you know. Whatever it is. Or whatever, whatever. The way they were just brought up. But you have to step out of that. Yeah, that's no good, man. It's like a waste of time. It's like talking to a brick wall in a lot of ways.

People don't want to, you know, like, I love talking to people like you where I learn something or I get an insight or I feel like we're exchanging, like, yo, I'm doing this. Oh, shit. And then like, try that. Like, oh, yeah. What are you doing? Read it. What are you doing this. Oh, shit. And then like try that. Like, oh, yeah. What are you doing?

It's like new things. It's moving. It's open. Vulnerable. Open. I constantly do that. But, you know, there's times where it's tough, but it never fails me when I go that route. Like an example of what you shared was like kind of letting go.

That's another, you know, it never fails you. It's always works. It never fails you. It's just hard. That's the thing is it's hard. But when you,

yeah, you remind yourself and then you just, yeah, the thing is you can't, nothing fixes itself. You can't just go, I want to,

that's what I've learned. You can't just sit there and go like, I want to be different. It's like you have to put effort into it over and over again. Also, we want to be different. It's like you have to put effort into it over and over again. Also, we have to understand that

no one's exempt from tragedy and all that. We're all going to experience that. And it's okay. It's part of life. We're all going to experience loss. We're all going to experience like hardships. But having that frame of mind, it just makes it like a little more acceptable.

Yeah. And you know, you're going to accept it. When we lose something or somebody, we got to accept it and look at it wholeheartedly like it's fine, but go through the process of mourning, grieving, and all that stuff, and it's going to be fine, but it's not easy.

We're having a deep conversation. Jesse's just making sure your dog doesn't chew any of the electrical wires. No, she won't chew that. She's about to knock over all the cameras. She got herself backed up in this corner over here. Sergio Chicone, one of my favorite people on the absolute planet. I mean,

one of the great people walking on this globe. Check him out wherever he's performing. He's one of my favorite comedians. One of the people who makes me gut laugh. There's not a lot. There's not a lot of guys who bring me to tears. Oh yeah, you're making me uncomfortable, but I

do like it. It's a natural funny that is hard to replicate. A good soul. Also, you know, I don't know. I mean, he's too booked. I can't even tell you. I can't even say like, you call him up. You got too many people who want to work out with you. Nah, man. It does always work, but we'll figure it out. Yeah. You gotta start jacking up. You got too many people who want to work out with you. Nah, man. It does always open. We'll figure it out.

Yeah. You got to start jacking up. You got to double the prices or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you know, I started doing two-for-ones. Like, listen, man.

It's going to come out cheaper if you guys working together. Yeah. I mean, you work. You have a lot of clients you do personal training for, but it's boxing. They come and they box. You're a boxing trainer. Yeah. It's boxing specific.

And you've gotten Extremely popular Doing it I still enjoy doing it Yeah Yo somebody Like It would be funny

If somebody who lives Somewhere else Pays you like a shit ton of money Cause they just let you Yo what's she eating She's eating She gets caught She just looks to the side

Yeah She got something Something she's eating Oh it's in there. She's still chewing on it. Let's see. Yeah, let's see what it is. What is that?

It's screw. Oh, no. That is not what we want. That is a tough-ass dog. Yeah. You do not want to eat that. That could have been really bad. Yeah.

So the other day, I took her to the... Wow. That could have been really bad. Yeah. That could have been. So the other day, I took her to the. Wow, that could have been real bad. She ate a whole tennis ball. She crushed it. Yeah. Made eye contact with me. I ate it like a pelican.

Sure. Yeah. Make sure there's no screws down there. And then I never saw it again. Yeah. She didn't shoot it out or nothing. No. Really?

Yeah. Yeah. So, Koda, why did you name her Koda? Her father was named Koda. Her mother's name was Mayday. I wasn't going to yell out, Mayday! Mayday! So I thought Koda was a fun name.

Named after her father. Thanks for coming through, dog. Yeah, my pleasure, man. Thank you. SergioChicone.com. Yeah. The website's there. I'm excited about the shows that we have in Long Island.

Woo! Come see us. Yeah, come see us. Hopefully, Jesse, come out too. Huntington, Long Island. Sergio and me, August 17th in Huntington, Long Island. As you know, Boston, July 8th. Sony Hall, November 4th in New York City.

And I'm probably forgetting. Oh, Red Bank, New Jersey at Vogel, November 4th, I believe. Yeah. Yeah. Come check us out. And probably some more, too. But, you know, just follow Sergio wherever he goes. We say family.

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