Yannis Pappas Hour - Question for the Priest w/ Bret Ernst

Episode Date: December 10, 2022

The hilarious stand up comedian Bret Ernst (Kobra Kai) and his chain (always out even during clippin’) showed up for a hilarious chat about when & when not to wear your chain, why the NFL should let them hit each other, settling down in Vegas, getting his role on Kobra Kai, the wild place that Florida is to grow up and when America started going down hill. Go watch Brent’s standup up specials on YouTube.Follow Brent & watch his special here: https://youtube.com/@BretErnstComedySponsors Manscaped https://www.manscaped.com/?utm_source=LongDays%20with%20Yannis%20Pappas&utm_medium=podcast&discount=l3VXt422eIga&amount=20percent&name=LongDays%20with%20Yannis%20Pappas&utm_content=LongDays%20with%20Yannis%20PappasPromo code: fumesDad grass https://dadgrass.com/pages/FUMES?utm_source=paragon_fumes&utm_medium=podcast_sponsorship&utm_campaign=fumesWatch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQJoin our Patreon for hilarious bonus episodes each week: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysJoin our highlights page for highlight clips: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwNew episodes every Friday night and new bonus every week on Patreon.com/yannilongdays Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yo, before we get into this great episode of the brand new Giannis Pappas Hour, you guys got to come see me on the road, man. I got new stuff and the shows are incredible. Right now, Jacksonville, Florida. This weekend, I'm here, December 8th through the 10th. Then Charlotte next weekend, December 15th through the 17th at the Charlotte Comedy Zone. Then guess what? For New Year's Eve and even before, from the 29th to the 31st of December, I will be in Philly, in the South Jersey, Philly area to perform for you trash people.

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where we have some of the most fun and we go absolutely bonkers and berserk. So enjoy the app. Yeah. What's up, everybody? Another episode of Long Days. Sitting here with the man himself. Straight out of Vegas. By way of Florida.

Maybe New Jersey. I don't understand it. Kind of like Bitcoin. I'll explain it to you, but it's okay. It's a whole journey. I think it has to do with family and how it branched off. Or you've been on the run since you were a kid. Maybe you've been stealing since you were a kid and then you've been having to move because you're from everywhere,

but there's one place that you always are, and that's fucking Italian. Well, mostly. Mostly. Thank God I got German in me. Yeah, you got a little bit. Well, my dad was. I'm 6'2".

Yeah. My whole family's like 5'3". Yeah, Italians can be short. Yeah. I talked about it on stage, but God, man, they used to break my ball

because I was raised by my mother's family and you know. Yeah. I know my dad's family. I'm not, I wasn't, but I was raised

mostly around my mother's family. Is he German, like Germanic American, like WASPy? No. Well, no, not at all.

He actually, he looked Italian. Yeah. My grandfather was from, his, my, his father was from Nova Scotia. Oh, yeah. And then they ventured. That's what you and Verzi have in common, because Verzi's half Greek, but you would never know it by his chain. Well, what do you mean?

Greeks wear chains. You got your chain on. What are you talking about? That's true. Yeah, it's a little chicken wire, though. It's all the cologne cultures. That's what I call us. Greeks, Middle Easterns, Italians,

Latinos. I'll throw brothers in there. Yeah, that's right. Cologne culture. Anybody that wears matching the sneakers, the outfit, the whole outfit matches with the sneakers. Yeah, yeah. Now, everybody knows Brett Ertz from probably,

if you're a fan of this podcast and you're watching it, you know from the Paul Verzi episode, we called them up, and he was talking about colognes. You sent me one. Yeah, did you like it? You sent me Territory. It's strong. Yeah, I do it right here, and I go like that.

I don't know if that's a rookie move, but I let it sit. I let it sit in my medicine cabinet for a while because I'm scared of new things. I'm used to being scentless yeah and then one night i was going to do sets at the stand and i went let me give a little spritz and i started with just one spritz right there and i noticed when you walk by the ladies there's a little you know you're giving them something you're leaving something you stay in the room a little longer even when you're not there no bro listen for for the price point i

couldn't believe it man i was i was out with my buddy and i'm like dude you smell amazing and i said what are you wearing he's like you're not gonna believe this and i i bought like five bottles right there and then and then i do the platinum one too and i'll tell you a strong move. Yeah. Three platinum, one regular. You mix. Oh, you do a blend. I do a blend. It's like a whiskey.

It's like a... I'm dead serious. Wait, so do you mix them before and then put them on or you just spray both? I spray, I spray. Okay. I spray. Do you have locations where one goes and the other?

It all goes the same place. Same place. Same place. But I was trying to understand that when you were telling. You don't walk into it. You said that. You got mad at me when you said it. You said, what am I, a chick?

So where does it go? I need to know the spots because I need to know where to put them. Because I'm just going right here. And one time I hit it, bang. But is that a chick move? To put it on the neck? Yeah. Should I put it on my dick?

What do you put it on your, the nape? Man, you don't put it on my dick what do you put it on the nape man you don't put it on your dick you fucking that motion right there i like to do the cross yeah i mean i'm joking but i'm serious yeah yeah yeah wait pull that mic up. I'm sorry. I've only been holding one for 25 years. Yeah, right. I still don't know how to fucking use it. So how does it work? Are you born, does like your birth certificate say Jersey? Yeah, Princeton. I was born in Princeton.

Born in Princeton, Jersey. Yeah. And I went to middle school and was starting high school in Passaic, New Jersey. Yeah. And then my mother moved to Florida. Yeah. And I went to high school in Florida, South Florida. Right. And then when I graduated, I went to 15 schools, man.

One high school. Wow. Yeah. So you moved around a little bit. A lot. Yeah. So Principal's Office, the first special that you put up on YouTube, that's about Jersey or more Florida?

It's mixed. Yeah. My buddy that stole the ambulance and when I was stealing cars, that was in New Jersey. Okay, yeah. That's a Jersey move. Also a Florida move. Cracker Knockout Day was in South Florida. It's a great special.

It really is a great special. And we were talking. I'm proud of it. Yeah, we were talking that you did it a long time ago. You were one of the first to put your special up on YouTube. I was the first. You were the first guy. First guy.

Yeah. What year did you do this? Let's see, four years ago, 2018? 2017, 18? Yeah. I'm not good at math. You could be. It could be the first.

And it's very cool. It's shot like a... Well, I did it in a theater in Burbank. And then I designed the the backdrop and uh you know all the lockers were like all my friends names and stuff i put on it and uh yeah it was like more about you know growing up see my what my goal is well not my goal but what i always envision so if you watch principal's office and then you watch domesticated animal right and now my third one is going to be called out of the cage because i'm divorced all three you'll tell a story if you watch it right in succession yeah this one is

kind of has a running theme throughout it yeah and then uh i haven't watched um uh domesticated animal yet that one's in vegas I shot at At Kimmel's spot Yeah And now you live in Vegas Yeah Yeah I love it Yeah what's that like It's

It's It's fucking awesome man You can't settle down In Vegas though Yeah you can There's nice There's neighborhoods out there man Really

Yeah I always Yeah whenever someone tells me They live in Vegas They're from Vegas I'm like where do you You live in the MGM Grand Yeah it's like saying I live in Oh you live live in time square yeah yeah yeah there's i mean

there's a touristy area and there's the the local area uh there's three vegas's there's the people that like grew up there which you know that's that's like that's like the kids who's got who parents are like are blackjack dealers or because let's be honest that's mostly the jobs in vegas well in that area but you know you have regular businesses there too, but I mean, there's the people that grew up there and there's the people that work there and then there's the tourists, the people that work there. I'll tell you what, what really moved me to Vegas and no state tax and, you know, and as an entertainer, I'm an essential worker.

Right. So when COVID hit, cause I was living in Ohio at the time, I couldn't even get unemployment. I lost like, you know, I know you're saying I lost my whole calendar. Yeah. They didn't even have an entertainer as a category in Ohio. Right, right. And then. Wait, you were living in Ohio before that?

Yeah, I bought a house out there in 2017. Oh. I got out of LA. man i'm i'm i'm very good at predicting right yeah you got out early 17 yeah yeah i was you know running in you start running in place and you know i mean they beat you up bro 13 state income tax like what the fuck yeah yeah you're giving 13 to the state you know 15 to 20 to the government yeah fucking 10 to the manager 10 to the agent five to the lawyer you know you're just running in place yeah there's a lot of leeches oh my god there's a lot of leeches sucking the money out of

your body dude it you know it's a lot and you know i'm also you know we're incorporated yeah but you know that helps a little Yeah Yeah yeah And then the traffic And it was just starting To go to shit man And I said We gotta get out of here Let's go live like human beings

Yeah So you went out to You went out to Ohio What the fuck So you went out to Ohio What part Is that Verzi calling No it was actually Tim

Yeah Did you go to like where What part of Ohio I was right outside of Akron Fairlawn That'd be funny if it was actually Tim. Yeah. Did you go to like where? What part of Ohio? I was right outside of Akron. Fairlawn. That'd be funny if it was Verzi and then I put him on the phone. Come full circle. Yeah.

And we talked about fucking chains. Did he show you the chain I gave him? I sent him? No, I didn't. You sent him a chain? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I mean, you came here with bread.

You brought a bag of bread. Fresh bread. I think I'm only going to have Italians on this podcast because this is the second I've had, of course, a bunch of guests. The only people who brought things have been Italian. Joe Gatto came in here with pastries. Yeah. But you just gave me a bag of rolls. Dude, yeah.

I smelled the rolls. What am I supposed to? I can't make a hundred sandwiches. No give it to your family now i was with my buddy ralphie last night and then uh you know he has a flower shop in staten island it's like a whole little thing and there's a bakery there and all that stuff and you know yeah you smell the bread yeah see italian the thing about italians that i will give is you know you guys you guys, you know, yeah, I'm close. I'm kind of a cousin. I'm right across the water. But we're Italian-American.

Italian-American's different. It's different from Italy. But it's in there. But it's in there. The pleasure and the wanting to enjoy life is in there. Like, when you go to a city, you know, I follow you on the ground, whatever. It always seems like you know someone there that takes you to a spot. Yeah.

Italians always go, oh, when I'm here, I got to go get this thing over there. I got to go to this guy's pizzeria place. South Philly, my buddy at Ionelli's, which I introduced him to a couple other comics. I mean, he makes the tomato pies, and they've been in Pashyunk for over 100 years. So he loves to cook.

So we go, opens the kitchen, we sit, we eat. Yeah. Then we go somewhere else later. You know, you go to different spots. Yeah, yeah. No, it's like Verzi. When we were at Skankfest, you know, it was funny. It was all the attack.

Mike Vecchione, Verzi, me, you know, we want to go grab something to eat, smoke a cigar. Yeah. Be gentlemen. Meanwhile, everybody else is running around micro-dosing. Like savages. You guys want to go get an espresso and a biscotti? Yeah, we watch the games, the fights.

We sit there. We're not animal. Yeah, you're not animal. No, there is sort of a standard of understanding How to live a little bit Enjoy yourself Well you know We do carry ourselves A little differently

Yeah yeah You do Now do you wear your chain Over your pajamas Or what do you do When you go to sleep I put it I do have it on

When I'm having sex You do When I'm clipping I got Oh yeah Yeah You just have it Move like that

Just hitting her in the face Well I have this one And then this one I travel with You know But this is the cross I got St. Christopher Oh okay But this I don't have on

So one's for Spur This is blasphemous Right You can't be clipping with the cross You gotta So do you take it off and kiss it Before you start clipping Of course

I kiss it all the time I always Yeah you always I always do that Are you kidding me You do that I do it before the time I always Yeah you always I always do that Are you kidding me You do You do that I do it before I take off

Yeah So one for spiritual reasons One for fashion And also It's ritualistic almost You know Taking her off Well the way

You know it's a ritual You gotta You gotta respect And then I have a cabinet For my chains You have a cabinet Yeah it's like a mirror You open up And then I You know I put it. And then I have a cabinet for my chains. You have a cabinet? Yeah, it's like a mirror. You open up, and then I put that there, and boom.

But it's weird because I don't want the cross hanging out. Right. But I got the crucifixes all over. I got like eight crucifixes. My buddy's like, what are you fucking hunting vampires? You're like, no, I'm Italian, cuz. Italian-American. That's why fucking, that's why vampires, you'd never see them killing Italian guys.

We eat garlic and we got garlic and crucifix. Yeah, dude. I got holy water in my house. You do, huh? Yeah. Just in case? Yeah. Yeah, you got to bless the crib, yeah.

Always. How long does it last? Does it have an expiration date? Like on a bottle of pills? Does the blessing wear off? Yeah, does it wear off or is it good? I have no idea. Yeah.

That'd be a good question to ask the priest. Like how long can I bless with this? Is there an expiration date? Yeah, at what point does this just turn into water? Some guy comes over, fucking, I say, hey man, let me just me just You know he's going through some stuff You bless him a little with the water And then he fucking gets cancer And then you're like

Fucking the priest told me It was expired It's the strength of the water It just turns into water You just get wet I just I actually just wet you That was it

No I keep a little A little there on the On the mantle Yeah You know I've said it before But I remember We hung out one night

And I can't remember At what point You told me You told me I think about your granddad And he said That a guy should take pride In two things

Is that Am I remembering that right Yeah Was that your granddad Yeah your work ethic And your appearance And your appearance So it's basically

Your clothes And your job Well yeah no as a man I mean obviously Your family That's a given But I meant Yeah it's more I like that though yeah so it applies though it's the way you carry yourself man yeah you know it's it look again my grandfather was sicilian you learn a lot of

lessons yeah my stepfather was you know italian as well yeah uh you know the street guys yeah but you know they're businessmen yeah you know and you just learn a lot from them yeah is there a version is there a version of you that is raised by the other side of the family what does that look like i don't know yeah you did well i wouldn't know but you i i can kind of picture it a little bit right i know my real father was You know He was a big man Yeah Very rough man Yeah You know Yeah So

And then now you do skits I could have gotten his temper When I was younger Yeah Yeah You know But there's Yeah now I do jokes

Yeah now you do jokes Yeah Yeah there's maybe a version You maybe has like a Like a full Like it's not shaped up It's kind of like a little More of an afro

Oh yeah Yeah My dad had the fro Yeah Maybe like a button down Tucked in some packies What When I

No actually you know what That could be Cause my cousins They went to like Cornell Yeah You know They're really smart Yeah on that side

Yeah Yeah But you went Yeah you went with Ma So it's just fucking Sunday So it's a fucking And crucifixes Everywhere you look

and I love it you know what though I find that comment a little disrespectful I'm just saying I mean it's good it's crucifix fuck you me

you guys got the orthodox shit going we do we're big on holy water we're big on crosses Easter

we're big on evil eyes you go to Greek's house there's evil eyes hanging over the doors cause you don't want anyone to put a spell on you, like a jealousy spell. You know, it's funny, though, because if you do your 23andMe, that whole region is the same blood.

It's Arabic blood. I got 36% Italian in me. Yeah, I got Moroccan. What else you got? Is there some of it you're leaving out? No, I got Moroccan no I got Moroccan mostly I came in

I came in here's what's weird too like your brother might have a different percentage than you yeah he's got right

because your DNA is all matched up but I he got the gay DNA yeah so did my older brother yeah I remember that's pretty popular

in our culture too there's a lot of that there's a lot of that people know how to live. It's fun. You know what I mean? They're having a good time. I mean, is anybody more fashionable?

It's not a better group than... You go to a gay... There's no crime in a gay neighborhood. Everybody's nice. That's, in fact, how you know where to buy a house. That's why I usually call the... I used to have a joke where I go, the lesbians are the marines of gentrification.

They go in first. Wherever you see them, if there's a soft where I go, the lesbians are the marines of gentrification. They go in first. Wherever you see them, if there's a softball game happening in the ghetto, buy a fucking old brownstone and fix it up. Dude, they got it down, man. Yeah. And you know, my brother's friend, there's an aura of classiness about him.

But my brother wasn't like, he was more masculine gay. So he's a top. Well, I don't know. I think my brother's a top. I'm kind of scared to find out but his boyfriends were like like really masculine so who knows oh right oh so it's like masculine or masculine but yeah but uh you know he was he was a classy guy man my brother

could dress uh and it was you know they're like women they love gay dudes yeah and there's so many girls. Because my older brother was handsome. And all these girls are like... You guys got good genes. You're a handsome fucking kid. Thanks. You put together.

And you're masculine looking too. You don't got a feminine good look. Like Justin Bieber. He looks like F2A. He's a good looking kid, but he looks like an FTM. Female to male. He looks like he transitioned. You He's a good looking kid, but he looks like an FTM. Female to male. He looks like he transitioned.

Yeah. You look like you came out... You look like you came out of... When you were born, you had a five o'clock shadow. No, but it's funny. All the girls would want to be with my brother, but then they'd be like, well, do you have a brother? And he'd be like, yeah. What?

You know, it's not as... They're expecting that. Right. Then they meet some fucking jerk off with just a vest on and a chain wearing Timberlands. How you doing? Peter, nice to meet you. What's going on? My name's Brad.

What's going on? You guys put the game on? What's the spread? What are you guys talking about? We're actually watching something different right now. Your brother's really straight. He's too straight. No, but like you said, they do. They got it down the gaze, man.

They know how to make money. They know how to build up neighborhoods. They know how to live. Yeah, good people. No, they're having a good time. They don't got to deal with women, dude. It's the whole thing. Well, I read somewhere that lesbians have the highest domestic violence rate. Yeah, it's a fair time. They don't got to deal with women, dude. It's the whole thing. Well, I read somewhere that lesbians

have the highest domestic violence rate. Yeah, it's a fair fight. You know what? Two guys are fighting. If we're dating, we're not pressing charges. Because you're still a man. We'll hug and have fun.

It's done. Let's go clip. That would be funny if it was two gay guys We'll hug it afterwards and be like, all right, we got it out. All right, fuck it, it's done. It's done. But it is true. Let's go clip. Let's go clip. That'd be funny if it was two gay guys that just still use that terminology, like very straightly, yeah, let's go fucking clip. No, one of the guys my brother was seeing, man, this dude, he could fight. I mean, he was, you know, he was like a regular dude. Yeah.

You know? Usually there is kind of a dude one, though. We were talking about that on a recent episode. Like, in lesbian couples and even in gay couples, there's usually a dude one. So it does make the fight a little unfair.

You know what's hilarious? My, my stepfather, you know, rest his soul, he was older. You know, he was the,

like, Korean generation. He fought in a Korean war, like that generation. My dad, yeah. But he would ask questions that, like, he just couldn't wrap his mind

Around how the dynamic works Cause you know He's an old school Right Street guy And he would ask like You know Okay if you go out

Who pays Right Like he just You know like the The protocol Yeah yeah Like if both of you Get in a fight

Is one of you allowed to run You know what I mean Like It's that type of shit Right Right But you know My brother was He's like Which one of you guys Bre run? You know what I mean? It's that type of shit. Right, right. But, you know, my brother was... He's like, which one of you guys breaks the other one's balls constantly?

I don't understand. You both just fucking both... I mean, who's watching what? How do you pick the shows? Yeah, all the shit that... Who cleans up after... You can't wrap their relationship dynamic. Yeah, yeah.

They can't wrap their head around anything that's not a straight dynamic. But I was going to tell you, my older brother was a tough kid, though. He was the strongest out of the three of us. How big is he? Scott, well, he passed away. He was- Your brother? Yeah, he was 6'1", about 200, but he was pretty shredded.

But he was like, so apparently on my dad's side, my dad's side was very, very strong. Like, if you look up Greg Ernst, by the way, he looks like us. He's out of Nova Scotia. So apparently this is my grandfather's brothers. Are you related to the Ernst Young thing? This guy, the strong man? Yeah, that's him carrying rocks. Yeah, that's a shit of a guy.

He looks, this is what my grandfather looked like. Wow, yeah. Right? And, you know, he was a a big my grandfather was a really big man you're related to this guy yeah that's out of nova scotia so my grandfather was born in nova scotia and like my family i guess settled it yeah so the ernst family in nova scotia is pretty big i don't know anybody i've never met him well one of them got rich you ever think about showing up and trying to find out who that ernst is and being like hey what's up Well I'm pretty sure they got a lot of

Generational things up there Who knows Yeah like that right there You see his eyes and shit Yeah Like that upper brow Yeah And

I like that you've checked this out before To find the resemblance When I did the 23andMe Yeah Nova Scotia kept coming up Yeah You know Canada kept coming up Yeah

On my dad's side So basically This guy's carrying a fucking boulder Yeah he has to Nova Scotia kept coming up. Yeah. You know, Canada kept coming up. Yeah. On my dad's side. So, basically, that- This guy's carrying a fucking boulder. Yeah, he has to- He's the Guinness World Record backlifter. He has a world record for strength. Anyways, it would make sense. What do you bet?

You strong kid? I mean, when I was younger, I mean, I never got over 400, but I was at 385. That's very strong. You played football, right? Jesus Christ. I was a defensive back. How many plates is that 385? How many 45s is that?

225 is two plates. No, four plates is 405. So it's three plates and 225s. Wow, that's strong. No, well, your real strength is in carrying shit. Yeah, look at this guy. Damn. So my older brother got that strength.

My real father was really strong. So you got this guy's sexuality. You got this guy's sexuality. He got his strength. Well, I mean, you wouldn't know. You're looking at my brother. I mean, he was put together. He was in shape.

But when I tell you, just freakishly strong. Yeah. I remember my mother, because we moved so much, But when I tell you Just freakishly strong Yeah Like when we I remember my mother Because we moved so much She had a piano And he was 14 And he could pick it up

Jesus Yeah he was really really strong And my grandfather was really really strong My grandfather On this side was a bare knuckle fighter Yeah So when he He was a stowaway

Right What's that? He jumped on a boat and just got the fuck out you know on a boat is that what they call those stowaways yeah and then uh he went to virginia got seasick then he walked to new jersey but he was a fighter and apparently uh you know he would go to bars pick fights you know they would bet back then yeah and he would just knuckle it out make the money just kept fighting fighting fighting yeah and uh he had a hot water heater business in in leonia right so true story he used to have these you know those big ass water heaters yeah so you know because you know those old they

have that old man strength and he would fucking pick these things up and just keep putting them on the truck now he worked till he was 82. Yeah. Okay? He was one of those, yeah. One of those guys. And when he passed away, we went there to, like, help clean out the thing. I was pretty strong. I couldn't fucking move these things. Right. You know, you don't even realize that you just see them working.

I mean, you know, they just work. Yeah. And my Sicilian grandfather, same thing. Did construction. Very, very strong. Some of those Sicilian guys Are like ants dude Yeah they're fucking strong

You ever see them Fucking little five foot four Italian guy Carrying a refrigerator On his back That immigrant Fucking strength You're right

Because like There's a difference Between like Going to the gym And pushing Pushing the weight Like four times Or ten times

Then like working All day moving shit. It's a different type of strength. Like you see those guys' hands. I remember my cousin who used to be a car mechanic. His hands were like, they're just thick because he's like tightening bolts and shit. And this was back before electricity, right in the 80s.

So I think he was just turning it. He wasn't using like an electric gel. He was just using his paws. That's grown man strength. They call it country strong in the south. But you know, Jim, it's not

really a determination. I was faster than my 40 time on the field. Because a lot of that is just analytics. What was your position? You played football. Strong safety. And where'd you play? Long Island University. Yeah, it's D1 Now it is

We were D2 then Nice But I played my high school ball in South Florida So you were strong safety So you had some speed I mean, I was on the thing But, you know, I couldn't play today Yeah

Because, you know, I was more of a physical player Yeah So, you know, back then, you know Shit, my coach would be like, let him catch it Right You know what I mean? Yeah It was more of a physical intimidation game as opposed to a skill game. Like it is now.

Yeah. Not saying those kids couldn't do it. If, if they, if they took the gloves off and just said to them one day, the NFL, right. I always say we should have like a purge in the NFL.

Yeah. Just let it go back to old school. Just one game. Let those kids fucking play. You know what I mean? Fucking, man, you ever see what I just ripping the guy from behind and ripping his face mask? Oh, dude.

You know, hitting him. We were Giants fans. So Phil Simms used to just. You see it at the Jade Garden all the time in New Jersey. Those guys that used to just sit in the pocket and just get like. Laid out. They got laid out. See, that's my thing with Brady.

I don't know. There's no way he's going to 10 Super Bowls in the 80s and 90s. It's just not going to happen. Oh, yeah. It's just not going to happen. You had defensive units back then that just. That's a good point, actually, right? The savages.

Right. But there were quarterbacks like him that did real well, though. So maybe. It's just all depends on how good you're. They didn't last, though. Like, all right, the greatest quarterback up until Tom Brady played, in my opinion, and I can't stand him. Dan Marino?

Joe Montana. Joe Montana. Yeah. I mean, that guy ruined my childhood worse than my father did. I'm a fucking Cowboys fan, dude. This guy made me cry more than my dad. And, you know, to watch a guy like that play in the pocket, out of the pocket, getting laid out.

I mean, they fucking broke his back. Yeah. Harry Carson and LT, they had to break his back to get him out of the game. Yeah, yeah. And then he comes back. He goes to Kansas City and goes, takes this. He was the last quarterback to take him to the AFC championship game. Yeah.

Now, you know, you can't deny Brady. No, unquestionably the GOAT. Yeah. I mean, again, it's timing montana's up there though and that move to kansas city was kind of like proved a little bit right because he did it without rice well he won his first superbowl without rice this guy won a high school championship an ncaa championship four superbowls never threw an interception in a fucking championship game didn't know that all right now again what what what brady's playing against now you're doing a lot of spread offenses

right the other thing that's different too is you can't really hit the receiver like they used to back then right because the the hardest position in football is a cornerback so hard yeah and now the physics behind it like you know you can't and the receiver knows where he's going right right the defensive back has to guess it's it's it's it's a different game it's it's football's been a different game since free agency they had to do that though because i don't think so you just you think guys just sign up and go hey like if i don't know where i am in five years that's part of the deal let Well, let me ask you this question. Here's my opinion on it. These guys get CTE like it's good.

No, you know what sport has the highest concussions? I'm very excited to hear you defend this. This is fun. Soccer. Soccer, really? Yes. From the head, but from the... More than football.

Yeah, female soccer has really high. Now, when you're looking at all these guys, too... That'd be nice. By the way, I had three concussions by the time. If I got drafted, I would have already had it, right? And I'm not saying it's not real, but what I'm saying is I don't think that's the NFL's best interest. Now, here comes my thinking.

I agree with you. Yeah. Let them hit each other, as you say. Well, when fantasy football became extremely lucrative, right? Now, again, you're looking at, I mean, dude, could you imagine? Just think of it this way. If Dan Marino played today. Now, he was throwing fucking 4,000, 5,000 yards back then.

Just quick footnote. Dan Marino's son is flamboyantly gay. And it's hilarious, yeah. I'm glad that you keep bringing everybody. I just want to just. You keep outing everyone. Well, he's, no, it's known. He's got like a real flamboyantly gay son. Put in. I just want to just. You keep outing everyone. Well, he's, no, he's, it's known. He's got like a real flamboyantly gay son.

Put in. Like Magic Johnson's son. I was going to say, like Magic. Yeah. It looks just like him. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he glows.

Yeah. Yeah. You'll catch that kid fucking catching a Broadway show. You'll see him sitting front row at the Tina Turner musical. But getting back to. Yeah, sorry about that. He wanted to distract. That's more important. No, I just wanted to... Than my crazy

fucking... We got some lady listeners. I wanted to keep them listening. Because we're going fucking football heavy right now. We'll get off it. But my point is... No, no, stay on. You have all these spread offenses now. So in fantasy football, you know, your receivers put up yards, your quarterbacks, that's where the money is.

And they made the game more offensive friendly. You don't see a fullback anymore. Right, that's true. And the other thing, too, a tight end now has become like a franchise player. You know what I mean? Where, you know, it's a different game. It's not the same game. And I don't want to take anything away.

Obviously, you can't from Brady. So you're saying tight ends do more receiving than they do blocking and oh yeah less of a ground to pound game it's it's all it's all receiving now everything's all it's all spread offenses man and you know and it is it's a different game it's not a you know even the running back position like back in the day like that bill parcells just keep smash smash you know yeah um it they made it made the game more exciting to watch and it made fantasy football i mean you know because fantasy started in baseball that was where fantasy you know sports started and when i went to football it just became so damn lucrative that so you don't think it had anything to do you know it's that was jarring well yeah he's yeah i mean there's gay there's gay and and then there's Magic Johnson's son gay.

He didn't transition, though, right? I don't know, man. I respect that dog. He might as well have. Yeah, it looks like he's on the way. Oh, wow. He's got great legs. Yeah, or she does.

What's the deal? What is EJ going for? Yeah, I mean, so Magic Johnson's 6'9", so that kid right there is about 6'6". That's a big lady coming at you. With heels? She could do work as Brittany Griner's body double. He actually looks more like a lady than Brittany Griner

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Okay? Santa comes down to Chimney, hand them Dadgrass. So you're saying CTE's not real is what you're saying. That's not what I said. I said CTE's in almost every sport. I mean, look, think of it this way too. Obviously boxers and fighters, right? Yeah.

But what, are you going to sue him? Right. So, you know, it's about lawsuits, and it's about fantasy football, man. Does soccer really have more CTE? Yeah, look it up. What sports have the highest CTE? I mean, again, this is a fairly new study. Yeah.

It's a fairly new study yeah it's a fairly new fairly new study coming out of your address in Vegas here we go what sports have the most CTE

right here no American football ice hockey rugby soccer and basketball but it says

highest so what's yeah you gotta look at the highest most documented cases of chronic trauma. I can't read that word. Encephalopathy has occurred in athletes involved in contact sports

such as boxing, football, wrestling, ice hockey, mixed martial arts, and soccer. Yeah, what highest? Highest, yeah. Top five sports. Man, that'd be specific. Then I wouldn't name it. Yeah, football.

Here, what's the number one? Football. No, I'm telling you, it's soccer. Yeah, this is just a neural effects.com. You never know. Well, it also could be as... The statistic could also be per capita as opposed to... Look at that, girls lacrosse.

This is my point, dude. It happens. You said it happens everywhere. Yeah, look, football is 17%. Yeah. Okay. Girls soccer is 15%. But it could be per capita.

It could be numbers-wise. But all right, let's just say it is football. Look at the difference. Still, it's happening in other places. It's close. Yeah. But you only hear about it in football. Yeah.

Because of Jim McMahon. Well, class action lawsuits and all that type of shit you know it's the only one that's actually addressing it yeah i mean if they if the nfl just did a better job of not letting jim mcmahon do an interview afterwards maybe it wouldn't have got out you know what i mean west walker you got to just put him in siberia afterwards listen i'll it's not about my point wasn't about that as much as the fact that look at cheerleading has 20 now again i don't know if i trust this all right but this site's called complete concussions.com it's like going to my instagram page to find out a study well i don't know if cheerleading could have likecussions. Like I said, if a chick,

if she falls off the pyramid, those girls get hurt, man. Well, they get hurt because... Are those competitions? You ever watch those competitions? Well, sometimes they're dating a guy who had money on the game and if that team loses, they come home

and they get smacked. Yeah. Imagine you try to fix the cheerleaders. Listen, I can't have you guys getting them up, okay? Lower down on the cheers.

Fucking, yeah. Tone it down a notch. Tone it down. Yeah, I? Lower down on the cheers. Fucking, yeah. Tone it down a notch. Tone it down. Yeah, I got fucking money on this. Don't get them too excited. How much do you gamble? You like to gamble. More recently.

You like to put a little scratch, a little action on the game, a little juice? Yeah, I bet NFL, and then I play the tables and the slots, but I had a bad run that I stopped. Well, I'm still betting football. I just don't play the games anymore. Right. And as I've stopped, I meant Tuesday night. I was at the Hard Rock.

And I got a little beat up, so I'm like, I'm done. I'm done for the year. But that'll probably re-up next week. No, you know what, man? I'm just sticking to sports. Look, when I was younger, you know, Sicilian 101,

you want to be the house. Yeah. What happens is you start to win and then, you know, you get on a roll and then you start giving it back. It's not about winning.

It's about walking the fuck away. Yeah, it's the tough part. That's the hard part. That's the hard part. That's why the casinos is there. That's why they can afford to be there it's nobody leaves it's it's you know and if but i mean fuck man i love it though dude i had one i had one run i was out till 10 30 in the fucking morning bro yeah i got out i got out of my show yeah at 11 30 12 yeah and i was there for 10 and a half hours wow yeah i took down two jackpots

and then gave it back to the table then hit again dude i did 1500 yos in a row right and i'm fucking hammered i got a cigar yeah at 15 in a row yeah lost on rollouts on the yo yeah imagine that it's the roller coaster of emotions it It's so exciting. You're chasing dopamine. Oh, it's just so exciting. Everything's dopamine. Yeah. And you know, you ever, like, I'm not a gambler at all, but the few times I have gambled.

So why are you bringing it up? You lose time. Just like that. It's so much fun. You're like there's six hours. It's the funnest. I think it may be the funnest thing, gambling. Oh, it's great.

Yeah. The, you know, it's just when you lose, you feel like a fucking idiot. Yeah, but that's what keeps you, that's what keeps you.

But you're like a sucker. Like I felt, you feel like a sucker and then I'm like, I already took the loss so I'm down for the year. I'm not, I'm not fucking with it no more.

Yeah. Did you go to a diner after the end of the night, 1030 in the morning? Last night? Oh, that was last night? No, oh, you're talking about Vegas? That night we were talking that, 1030 in the morning. Last night? Oh, that was last night?

No, you're talking about in Vegas? That night we were talking that you just lost all the money. I was fucking hammered, yeah. I took an Uber. Yeah. Just went home? Dude, I lost one time. How much did you lose?

It's not important. Not important, yeah. It's a gentleman that doesn't say, I like that. It's not about that. It's not about that. It's not about the details it's not about the details yeah yeah it's about the journey i mean because you know why it's it it goes either way it may not be a lot to some people yeah but to some people it'd be like you know either way i'm a jerk off for doing it but i'm curbing it now here's the thing let's just be honest about italians this is a fun thing about Italians.

Italians, nobody does barbarism with a veneer of civilized, like a civilized gentleman like Italians. They kill you in a civilized way. They think about things. They let you, you know what I mean? They do it in the back of the head. They don't want you to see it. They'll be gambling.

I'll be like, look, but I don't want to talk about it because there's some people out there that are really struggling. You know what I mean? They do it in the back of the head. They don't want you to see it. They'll be gambling. I'll be like, look, but I don't want to talk about it because there's some people out there that are really struggling. You know what I mean? So it could be a lot of money. It may be, you know, you say something and then somebody might be like, oh, that's nothing. I'm down here. I feel like if you go the other way and look, either way, it's disrespectful to you. It's disrespectful. You know, you work hard for your money. You just give it away. Yeah, no, I get it. It's fucking embarrassing too, man. It's disrespectful. You work hard for your money. You just give it away. Yeah, no, I get it.

It's fucking embarrassing too, man. It is. You feel like a fucking jerk-off loser. The problem is, there was one time I said, fuck it, I'm signing myself out. And I go to them, I go, can I sign myself out and still work here? They're like,

I don't know, man. I don't want to sign myself out. The next thing you know, i don't want to sign myself out the next thing you know dude my friend is such a degenerate uh but i'm not getting into details with him but he he lost some a lot of money and he signed himself out of the casino so the rule is you can't go back you get arrested it's like uh trespassing right not even kidding he's like fuck it i'm done right week later he put a disguise on he went into the wing isn't that great look like the unabomber yeah they pitched it right when he got in yeah they all fucking know

yeah and then you know then they also like there was something like i played so much i had like a shit ton in free slot play yeah and then i'm like i'm just gonna beat him in free slot play right because you can only play certain ones that at the thing then i gradually do and then i find out okay well now you got to put the money back and if you want to keep getting the free slot play. And then, you know. Yeah. But I ended up taking it down.

I had it ahead. Yeah, yeah. And then, you know, you just get that itch. But again, I curbed it. You know, it's also too like, I think after the divorce, you know, sometimes you're not centered. Right. You know what I mean?

Yeah. So you do self-destructive behavior in a sense. And then once you get yourself together, you know. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. So you do self-destructive behavior in a sense. Right. And then once you get yourself together, you know. Right. You dating now? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You got some stuff going on. Yeah, of course. Nice little lady. Now, I, yeah, you know, I vowed not to get married again. I don't know if I'd ever do that again. You're done.

Yeah. That's it. Yeah. We didn't have kids, thank God. Yeah, well, that's what I mean. When a guy moves to Vegas, I think that's a clear kind of bought a condo.

I mean, I know there's fuck a house. Yeah, there's people there that settle down, but when you move to Vegas, that's kind of a statement going like, alright, I'm making a strong choice here. Yeah. I'm gonna be a bachelor. Is it tough being, like in gambling and living in Vegas? It's right there? No. No, it's not. It's just, you know, you get bored sometimes and, you know,

like the sport, when football season's going, that's a, you know, you get bored sometimes and, you know, like the sport when football season's going. Yeah, that's that's a lot of fun. Juices are going. Yeah. Yeah. Like, you know, you parlays and all that. And the worst, too, is the bets that you didn't make. Right.

You're like, fuck. Like when the first game, it was one hundred dollars to win like twenty thousand. Yeah. That neither Tampa Bay or Dallas was going to score a touchdown in the game. Now, you're talking about the number one offense in the NFL last year, which the Cowboys were, I think, and then Tom Brady. We're not going to get one touchdown. Right. So my brother's like, should we throw 100 on it?

And I'm like, you know what? Nah, fuck it. There's no way. They didn't score until the third quarter, but I'm like, motherfucker. Yeah, yeah. Motherfucker. Yeah.

That's why gambling gets you, because you missed that one. I'm like, somebody better fucking score. Yeah. And your brother's staring at you. I'm like, dude, stop. Yeah. Verzi made a good point, actually, about betting on MMA, that there's a real high probability to win.

It's probably the best thing to bet on because there's only three or five rounds. So you throw something down, you go knock out third round, second round. There's just less. There's less that can happen. So whatever you bet, there's a higher probability that you're going to win.

There's only three or five rounds. So boxing, 12 rounds. Yeah, but again, I don't bet MMA. I don't follow it. But the odds will still be down. So if you're boxing 12 rounds Yeah but again I don't bet MMA I don't follow it but The odds will still be down So if you're having 3 rounds as opposed to 15 Then the odds will be lower Let's say you put 100 to get knocked down

In the 6th round That's going to pay way more than getting Knocked out in the 2nd round or 1st round In a 3 round fight But just as far as winning There's less variables of things that could happen. You could bet just to win. Like you could bet,

you know, you could play without the points or, you know, the money line. Yeah. You know, it's, I mean,

look, if you, if you're looking at your favorites, like I wouldn't, the one, two years ago, I had a gambling show on the, um,

MGM network about three years ago, right before COVID. And, you know, I documented my picks. So, you know, I was at about 73% winning. Did you get replaced by Jerry Ferrara too? No. Did that happen to you? Yeah.

I had a show on BetMGM. But Jerry was, I think was, you know, I'm very good friends with him. Yeah, he's a great guy. Yeah. You had one on BetMGM as well? He's doing this. Well, because you don't gamble. So what the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, I was just up there with him. Yeah, he's a great guy. Yeah. You had one on BetMGM as well? He's doing this. Well, because you don't gamble, so what the fuck are you talking about?

Yeah, I was just up there going, what's up, Olivia? Who's winning? Yeah, I don't know what the fuck's going on yet. Yeah. And I'm also what you call, I'm a little bit of a, I'm dicey. When you hire me, it's like, what's he going to say? I remember you had a show in Miami for a while. Yeah, you came on it.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you came on it. What was that again? It was Fusion Live on Fusion, that network. You were living down there? I lived there for a year. Did you like it? Oh, yeah, came on it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you came on it. What was that again? It was Fusion Live on Fusion, that network. You were living down there. I lived there for a year. Did you like it? Oh, yeah, I liked it.

Yeah, I liked it, yeah. You know, it's funny because you go to South Florida, and South Florida's its own thing. It's crazy. It's grown, dude. Miami's like New York now. Well, it's always been pretty. I think there's 8 million In that area alone

Or something now It's like It's got a skyline And they keep building There's cranes everywhere It looks like New York in the 20s Dude South Beach In the early 90s

Was sick bro Yeah It was sick And then The football down there is sick That's always interesting That that's That

Florida Miami A couple of neighborhoods There in Miami Has like some of the Like per capita The most NFL players Well I believe

There's Pahokee Belgrade Has the most per capita Like numbers wise Yeah South Florida Is from Palm Beach County down Yeah

So that Yeah everybody's from Everybody's playing Like when I was in high school The receiving core was Frank Sanders and Isaac Bruce at Dillard. You know, and it's just a football factory now. Yeah, it's crazy, and it's weird because it's so hot. So you wouldn't figure that football would thrive down there.

Well, we play all year round. So your spring ball, you know, everybody's in there. There's the camps, and there's just the athletes down there are just sick, man. Yeah, yeah. Every white dude looks like, you know, the, There's the camps, and there's just the athletes down there are just sick, man. Yeah, yeah. Every white dude looks like, you know, the, what's his name from down there? The defensive, Bosa brothers. Everybody looks like Jeremy Shockey. He's a real Florida-looking guy.

Everybody's ripped with fucking tattoos everywhere. Yeah, Florida's a wild place, dude. Yeah. Florida's America's. If you're not down there, it's like i have a watered down accent right now i was born in jersey i grew up in jersey but i have a weird northeastern accent like you know how like ozzy osbourne's kids had that weird british accent it was like americanized yeah it's like because your parents talk that way yeah it's like andrew tate has a watered down like mixture of British

and American accent. Yeah. So, you know, it's your parents and there's so many New Yorkers down there. Yeah. But then the problem

with those, with a lot of people that move from New York to come down there, it's like they overwrap it. Right. It's like, hey, you guys done.

Hey, what's going on? Whoa, what do we mean? Yeah. You know, it's like, come on, man, what is this, central casting? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But me and my friends talk like that for the goof, though. Yeah. Like, we'll be like, how you doing? Come on. What is a South Florida accent like? What's it like? It's pretty much, I looked it up. Look up South Florida accent.

I'll tell you. I know the Latin one is like, bro, what's up, bro? It's like a New York, South Florida accent. It'll say like, it's New York heavy. They had a term for it. Is there a Southern accents do exist in Florida and in Tampa? Yeah, so you get country too, right? Yeah.

Now, like My nickname When I When I came to play in Long Island They used to call me the dog Yeah Cause I'd be like Yo what's up dog How you doing dog Yeah

And that was what we used to say in Florida Right And then They People made fun of me then But then you know It just took off Like get at me dog

Yeah LIU Is that The campus is where? Where do you play? Because there's one in Brooklyn. It was CW Post. It's the one in Long Island, the one in Brookville, Nassau County. Right.

Yeah, so you hit all the Italian hotspots. Here, why do Florida sound northern? Jersey, Long Island, Florida. Which one? It says, why do Floridians sound northern? Oh, sound northern. Which one? It says, why do Floridians sound northern?

Oh, sound northern They have not had a large influence from different accents People in South Florida have been here for a couple of years Yeah, they're coming from New York or Northern Ohio Yeah, that makes sense What you're saying makes sense Yeah And bring a little bit of the Well, because it's your household

Northeast core, yeah Now, what's weird is, from what I learned So, when, you know, the guys from New York were cutting up Florida, East Coast, New York, they got the East Coast, and Chicago got the West Coast. So if you ever notice, you go, it's weird. Like most people from New Jersey, New York, live on the East Coast of Florida.

And then if you go to the West Coast, you meet a lot lot of Ohio Chicago people and then there's Boston there too but when they were you know divvying up to build down there back then all the guys up here they cut it in territories somebody told me that so it makes sense that makes sense by the way everything I say

I'm 85% right probably more like 67 who do you fucking hide who do you fucking hide? Who do you hide? Come on. Tell me about Cobra Kai. Talk about a thing that nobody knew was going to be a smash hit

that became a smash hit. You know, we knew the show was great. We just didn't think it would be this big. Right. Because when we shot it, we shot it for YouTube. Did you audition for that? How did that happen?

Actually, man, I got lucky, bro. And I'll tell you why. I was doing a theater at Independence Theater in Asbury Park. And I came down to promote it for a week. And again, I have a watered down accent. But when you get around everybody, it just starts to come out. And it really, it just, so long story boring. I get a call because the guys that produced that did hot tub time machine and,

um, Harold and Kumar and, you know, cause it was very, it was a little comedy heavy and I, I don't, I think they requested me. So I'm promoting the theater show all week.

I'm flying in. I got my audition on Monday. So Sunday I go to Jersey City. I'm with my godmother. I said, all right, I'll look it over. That night I'm looking it over. And, you know, I'm really looking at it. And I'm like, you know, what is this, the Karate Kid?

And my agent at the time said, he's like, yo, Brett, they're doing something with the Karate Kid on YouTube. And then I'm like, okay, yeah, like okay yeah whatever then he goes it pays good like it pays like a real show because everybody was confused right was this the first show youtube released like this it was they're going to be their flagship on their premium network streaming service so as i'm reading it on the plane because i have to i'm literally going off the plane and then going to uh paramount to the studio to audition i got my maruka shirt on from uh seaside heights um and i just walk in and you know i was reading the lines and yeah you know i just played it naturally yeah and i think because i was around that yeah just i was it just i was spent a

week in jersey yes and i just was you know playing it normal yeah and uh it was you know and i got it yeah because they they said too there were a lot of actors that did oh hey because you know the guy's supposed to be yeah and i you know i'm not a fan of the that that jerk off guy right you know what i mean so i just played it more naturally. And I worked with Ralph on Beer League. It's crazy that he's 60 now, right? Yeah, dude. Look at him, man.

Yeah. We keep well. Yeah. And Dan, we just did a show on Point Pleasant together, the guy that plays Anoush. We tour together sometimes. He's a comic. Dan, a dude.

Yeah. He's a really good comic. Yeah. How many seasons is do now we're at five now yeah so i'm not in season two i got kicked out because of what i did in season one but i've been since three four five and i and unofficially i think we're we're getting six i don't know yet but it looks good and what were the numbers i mean it was a big hit right everyone was talking so what happened was we were with uh we were with um netflix

and we were going to release season three on netflix i mean on youtube and then netflix picked us up during the epidemic or pandemic what what's crazy too is i was on the balls of my ass man yeah i had just got divorced uh you know it's amazing how that works and i'm sleeping on my mother's couch and all my gigs got canceled and i'm looking everything's dwindling and i'm like what's my next move and then we signed the divorce papers and like two weeks later i got a call that netflix picked it up got a nice little scuttle in the mail yeah i mean then I'm able to get back, get an SBA loan. Next thing you know, I'm back at the casino. It's crazy how that works sometimes in life. I tell people all the time, man, you're juggling balls, right?

Money's rubber. Family's glass. Health is glass. Man, money just fucking boom. It always comes back. Don't sweat it. know is that your did you make that up i like that yeah i like that yeah you know money's rubber family's glass yeah health is glass health is glass yeah and you know once those break you can't get it back right money you know and i think as you get older and you you've been through it through it you just learn it. It'll come back.

You like, you just, you know, you just hustle. Yeah. But, and the other thing is, you know,

God gives by taking away, man, you know, and sometimes you think this is the worst thing that ever happened to you. Yeah. You know, he hears conversations you don't and, you know,

always know everything's moving in your best interest yeah just you know sometimes you gotta you gotta you gotta weather through it but yeah no and then i was able to buy my condo out there and moved out picked up the residency and you know you ended up blowing money losing money at least you have some money now to lose. Yeah. Wow. You know, you look at it and it's like, God, I could have redid my bathroom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, when you look at the amount that you lost, you're like, oh, fuck.

I should have just got a new backsplash. Because that's the weird part, right? Like, I'm looking. I'm like, can I afford this tile? Right? And the next thing you know, you're like, what the fuck? I could have had tile flown in. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but it was a fun night, though. Win or lose, it's a fun night. It's a fun night, man. It's rubber, you know? But, you know, I'm not, I don't, there's some guys that I think love to lose. Like, you ever see the guys that love to brag about losing? Yeah.

Like, I don't understand. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, please, y'all fuck the night, and they tell you what they lost. Yeah. Like, please, y'all fuck tonight. Yeah. And they tell you what they lost. Yeah. Dude, the best, the Italian guys from New York during the Super Bowl, they talk out loud. Yeah.

You know? You ever see where they'll be like, yeah, you know, I threw like $250,000 on the game. Not a lot. Just something to play with. Yeah, yeah. It's like, shut the fuck up. That humble brag. Yeah, yeah.

Like, I'm just, you know. Yeah, I lost too. They tell you what they lost, but it's a big number just to show, yeah, I can afford to lose. Dude, I'll tell you. One time I had like, I don't know, I won like 50 bucks. It was like small bet. And I remember it was Giants playing Chicago.

The guy next to me is fucking, we're both, you know, we had opposite sides. And I'm not an obnoxious guy where I'm like, yeah, you know. But I'm like, I need this. And he's like, yeah, hey, man, you know we had opposite sides and i'm not an obnoxious guy where i'm like yeah you know but i'm like i need this and he's like oh hey man you know playing i ended up winning like fucking two i think i bet 50 i won like 250 or something i forgot i forgot exactly well but all i remember i asked you as well how much did you win i go 250 bucks he lost 50 000 on the game but like he wasn't being a dick he just looked like a regular guy

I'm like why didn't you fucking tell me I would have gave you my mojo you could have given me the fucking 200 and the 50 you would have won you know cause he fucking you got some big guys in those casinos yeah yeah whales

they call them whales. Big whales. They got money to lose. Circa, I don't know. Circa's, if you ever go to Vegas, you got to check out Circa. It's a 21 and up casino. No kids are allowed. Oh, nice.

Classy. There's sports book. Yeah. You've never seen a screen. It looks like the screen at Texas Stadium. Yeah. The one that Cherry built. Yeah.

It's crazy. It's a beautiful sports book. And then they have a pool. The one that Cherry built. Yeah. It's crazy. It's a beautiful sports book. And then they have a pool. They're tiered pools. It's like stadium pools. Yeah. And they have a huge screen outside. You can watch the games in the pool.

Oh, that's like heaven. Dude, and then they have the sports book. While you're in the pool, just like, yeah. Dude, they try and get you every way. They set it up so nice. They know what they're doing, dude. The way it's set up, they get you get you every way. They set it up so nice. They know what they're doing, dude. The way it's set up, they get you nice and comfy. Everything is set up perfectly.

Get your liquor up. Liquor up. Have the girls come up to you, the waitresses. Let me get you another one. Yeah. They're like, yeah, why not? Yeah. I said, sure, yeah.

Like Frank Pantangeli? Yeah. Sure, why not? Yeah. I said, sure, yeah. Like Frank Pantangeli? Yeah, sure, why not? I don't know what you're talking about, Senator. I say we hit the Rosado Brothers while we got the muscle. Brett Ertz, go see him on the road. You're back on tour, baby. You're back out there baby You're back out there

I'm always out there man I'm a road dog man Where can I find your dates? Go to brettcomedy.com I promise you this though Mark my words If I win big If I hit big

I promise you I'll buy you a fucking air conditioning unit For this room We got one We never put it on Because of the buzz. I'll order fucking Amazon. I'll send you cologne,

a chain, and a fucking AC unit. Thank you for the cologne. I appreciate it. Don't worry about it. It was like a starter kit. Don't worry about it. It was nice.

I appreciate it. Put that in your pocket. The kids enjoy it. Put it on. Don't worry about it. I just got a text from Brett after the episode. He goes,

what's your address? I didn't know it was coming. I just gave him the address. Next thing you know, a fucking nice bottle of cologne came. I noticed you and Versi lived on the same street. He goes, what's your address? I didn't know it was coming. I just gave him the address. Next thing you know, a fucking nice little bottle of cologne came. Well, I noticed you and Versi lived on the same street. I know you live next door to each other.

Yeah, we live right there. Right there, yeah, yeah. I sent him a bottle. Yeah, he's got one too, yeah. We got our bottles. It's what I do. I bring Brad. How's the cologne guy?

He's good? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He, you know. Does he give you a deal if you get bulk? Well, he gets a deal, so, you know. And then he's actually a comedian. Oh, he is? Yeah, but he deals in cologne.

Yeah, on the side. Yeah, so he pulls up with it. Yeah, yeah. You know, he gets the new bottle. His buddy gets it. I think it's an Albanian that sends it to him. Albanian? That sounds about right.

Yeah. I should have guessed Albanian. I went Italian, but you should have guessed. I don't think an Italian would be selling cologne in a parking lot. That's more of a first generation just got here thing. You know, I don't know. Somebody's Italian grandfather used to do that, but now they got a plumbing business. I don't know, man.

You grew up with a lot of them, right? Yes. All right. You know, like you get those fucking calls every now and then about random shit. Like, you know anybody that likes uh shoeshine boxes you're like what listen uh yeah some random shit yeah look i got you know anybody that needs tripods you know yeah i heard you know you always get those random phone calls yeah yeah everyone's got a hustle going on.

Back then, yeah, all the time, man. I used to hustle a lot when I was younger, man. And by younger, I mean 22, 23. Yeah, yeah. What were you selling? Well, I mean, there's certain things like- Some things illegal. Well, I mean, it's fucking statute of limitations at the time.

I was always doing credit card stuff, making IDs. Yeah. You know- Italians just like crime a little bit, right? Me and Versi always joke about that. Statute of Limitations I was always doing credit card stuff making IDs yeah you know Italians just like crime a little bit right me and Versi always joke about that he goes

my fantasy is to rob a bank I can't he just wants to rob a bank yeah I would and drive away in a car with white leather no I never fantasized about robbing a bank

me and my cousin we used to sit on the roof you looked at me seriously watch this you never fantasized about that no bro we used to watch we would watch

they would pick the money up on the roof from the bank. And it was like clockwork. And he would sit there and just stare at it like, dude, we did some funny shit as kids. Like one time, well. Statue of limitations. It doesn't matter. You're out of state.

It was in the area. There was somebody that had put in new like plants and stuff on their yard so my you know my other cousin's a landscaper so he looks over and he goes wow they did a lot of work he goes those trees are like four or five hundred a piece so me and my cousin dug up this motherfucker's yard And we took his plants and shit And then We gave it to my other cousin to get rid of Now when you're younger

You don't realize it Who's buying plants on the black market? Well I mean it's his business Oh yeah Here's the funny part It gets even better Did he give you a cut? I mean, it's his business. Oh, he took a, yeah. Here's the funny part, Rick. It's even better. Did he give you a cut of what he sold, what he resold him?

What do you think? I did it for free? Of course, yeah. I mean, I don't know. I like to steal shrubs. I don't know. What was the percentage? What was the kickback?

People, yeah, people watch. No, I don't care about that. I don't even remember. It was like, you know, I think whatever he was selling them for, you know, he just gave us a little money. We were teenagers, so it didn't matter. But the funny part was like,

the guy got insurance on it and then he asked my cousin if he could fix this. If he could fix this. He is my cousin. If he can fix this. If he can fix this. So the cousin put the same woods back. No, no, he didn't put the same.

Those were gone. But he's like, yeah, I'll take the bed. And he did the guy's lawn again. Did you guys get tempted to do it again? To steal again? No, no, no. That was done. But I'd be like, God, wouldn't that be great if he sold the original trees back to me?

But, you know, man, we did all kinds of crazy shit when we were kids. That's a good one. That's a funny one. Yeah. There was some older kids that, you know, I would get the credit card copies. The card. I remember that era. Yeah.

And then they had this little thing that made, you know, you put the numbers in and you melt the card. Yeah. And then they put like, it looks fake almost. And we used to do that all the time, take a car, go to the store. And then back then, they would call, right? They would be on the phone. Yeah.

And they would ask questions. So they'd be like, is the person with the card there? Then I'd be like, yeah, you know, and then you're on the phone, they're asking, oh, what's your mom's maiden name? You're just looking at your friends. As soon as you grab the phone, they're already walking out. They're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Then they give them the phone. Now they're telling them, keep them there. You see the guy going. Then I said, hey, I'm going to grab one more thing. Then you're fucking out. You got it. There was that whole era where they hadn't figured out credit card security. If you could get someone's number, you could order stuff.

Well, I would like to think I was on the forefront of the security. You were. You were on the forefront of the security, forefront of specials on YouTube. Because when they started doing the gas thing, when they started using credit cards at the pump, that's how you would activate it. And they didn't really. You just put it in. Yeah. So we would take the car, put it you would activate it yeah they didn't really you just put it in yeah so we would take the car put it in activate it then we would go to like you know the flea market or whatever

get stereo equipment gold whatever we could max it out on dude i had a i had a 1984 ford escort extended hatch it was a little station wagon okay the sound system in that car was un-fucking-believable i had two mtx 15s i had a fucking fosgate amp back then uh at the the electric crossover the pyramid eq i don't know what any of that shit is it was all the stereo equipment man and my car would be like boom boom, boom, boom, right? Listening to freestyle. Yeah. And then, but it was a fucking station wagon. It was a station wagon. Listen to Lil Suzy.

Yeah. Take me in your arms. And don't you let me. You know what? I love Judy Torres. Yeah, Judy Torres is good, yeah. You, you show me how love could be. See? Freestyle, it's Italians how love could be. See? Freestyle, it's Italians and Puerto Ricans.

Puerto Ricans, Latinos. And Latinos. It just never caught on beyond that. It's so weird. That's why I think Italians are on the fade. Yeah. We're in the middle. If you're fading, we're right.

It goes to Latino, then black like we're we're right there you can go this way it's like right on the fade it goes from like germanic wasp because dude i mean there's so much that you know like yeah uh doo-wop i'll tell you the mexicans out there they love doo-wop. Do they? Freestyle, yeah. That's like the Italians love that shit, right? And, you know, brothers, tracksuits. Yeah, it's very similar. Very similar.

Especially... Mike Ricker used to say, girls with big asses. We love those. Yeah. Italians and blacks, very similar. There's a lot. There's like a lot on both. But then you got to say, okay, is it just street?

Is it just a street thing? You know what I mean? I think it could be a little cultural. Yeah, I don't know. Because people forget, man. Both funny cultures, they come up with funny nicknames, they say funny shit. But that might just be being poor and being neighborhood people.

Because now you get these fucking asshole hipsters, which I almost hit like 15 of them. Everybody's on a goddamn bike. Now they don't understand that history of the Italian neighborhoods, even the Irish neighborhoods. Because my grandmother grew up in Hell's Kitchen and they were, fuck man.

That was a rough neighborhood. It was, Hell's Kitchen was a rough, Even back in the day, bro, in the 80s. Oh yeah. If you wanted to a bar in the 80s and they didn't fucking know you, even in Brooklyn, we used to go out back in the day,? Oh, yeah. If you went into a bar in the 80s and they didn't fucking know you, even in Brooklyn, like,

we used to go out back in the day. You go in a bar and if people don't know your face, they start fucking asking who the fuck you are. Yeah, yeah. It was a lot more territorial.

It's like a different neighborhood watch. Yeah. Is this guy fed? Yeah, yeah. It was territorial. The world was smaller back then. It was like my neighborhood. Bobby Kelly was telling me

it's like in Boston they had their parks. Everything was like my neighborhood. Bobby Kelly was telling me it's like in Boston, they had their parks. Everything was like, that's their park. That's our park. That's the Irish park. That's the black park. It's like prison. It starts to break up into the different tables. We're animals, dude.

We're basically- I say that all the time. Barely sliding into human. That's why it makes me laugh. We're all so spoiled now. Everybody's fed. Yeah. like you know everything's so we're all so spoiled now everybody's fed yeah like i i i i i hate doing bits and and things but you know i'm a i really just talk about real life but my grandmother would

wash ziploc bags and my mother used to reuse paper towels she would dry them strong yeah she would dry them yeah but i literally i bought a dishwasher for her, never used it. Well, she used it for storage. You know what I mean? You open up, there's fucking bread in there. Yeah. Right? The microwave had the breadsticks,

the Stella Dores, the cookies in the microwave. My mother used to use the microwave for storage, too. She put the bread in the microwave. Yeah, it was storage. That's all immigrant shit, man. Yeah, it is immigrant shit, yeah. My mom was born in a Nazi occupied Greece. So she,

yeah, she used to reuse paper towels. She would hang them up and dry them and then reuse. That's hilarious. They'd be hanging like on the, on the laundry with stains on it and shit. Yeah. If it's just like they just,

she just would reuse them. And they, and it's funny because they, they, you know, they earned, they had money saved, but it was just the,

the way to the mentality. Well, I think they know what they, but it was just the mentality. Well, I think they knew what it was like to be poor, like real poor. Yeah. Like, you know. Like my poor growing up? Yes. And I grew up pretty rough. It's nowhere near.

But you could get meat, you could get a burger, you could get a steak. They were like, America was just like starting to get rich my god man i don't know how much time we have we should my stepfather bro yeah rest his soul but god damn he was so old school he would barter with fish right because he was delivering fish for a while and he would barter with fish he'd be like, let me ask you this. Like, if I could get you shrimp, right? I'm dead serious. He was just all into fish. Everything was fish.

Fucking guy would go, he would go into a store, anywhere. Go up to the guy, what do you sell your little neck clamps for? The kid's like 16. He don't give a fuck. We sell them for $8.99 a pound. He goes, I get them $4.99 a pound he goes i get them 4.99 and then just fucking walks away like that'll show him right right we went to this japanese uh it was like a a buffet area right yeah and he just it was always he was always like just going up to people

just finding out what their wholesale price was but But he goes to the guy. It was the funniest thing I've ever seen. So it was pretty much the Japanese version of him. So the wife was there. And this guy didn't speak English. The wife did. And she's like, can I help you? And he's like, where do you get your fish from? And she goes, they go back and forth.

And he's like, she goes, we get from over here. He goes, tell him his fish garbage. I got the good fish, right? And then she goes, okay. And she goes, she tells him. He's like, he's fucking yelling. She goes, he say no thank you. But you know he say, get the fuck out of here.

Get the fuck out of here. I'm just telling him. I got him. Oh, I missed the great part. Because the guy doesn't speak English, he starts speaking Spanish. Because he thought you're. Like, he just figured that's like, yo, hablo ingles. Fucking guy's Japanese.

Dude, this guy was just. My stepfather was like out of another era Fucking just I mean the way he Carried himself always in a suit Yeah yeah I remember that era yeah They go out

He goes for a walk he puts a suit on Walk the dog put a suit on We were watching Casino You know when he opens the closet And there's all those like awful looking suits with the fucking pastel colors and matching patent leather shoes? And he said proudly, I have 400 suits like that. I'm like, you wore that shit? Yeah.

Dude, he tried to tell me he was better than Barry Sanders in football. Oh, yeah. We're watching the game. I'm like you wore that shit Yeah Dude he tried to tell me He was better than Barry Sanders In football Oh yeah Yeah We're watching the game I'm dead serious He was fucking dead serious Yeah Yeah

And he goes They gotta run What the fuck They dancing for They gotta run North and south I said dude It's Barry Sanders

Fuck him He ain't good And I'm like dude He goes Fuck that I was better I'm better than that I knew how to run the ball cuz he played for the Patterson Eagles yeah pre-integration yeah he's like he goes fire go do that you're not

better than Barry so now you know he was like how do you know how the fuck do you know right so one time we're at um we were we were out in jersey and we're at a party so all his friends were there and one of his friends did like 30 years right and they're all in suits right and i don't want to say names but you know there's four there's four of them and they're all in suits so i have my buddy with me and i go hey i go come here because i like to scooch, right? I like to fuck with him. I go, watch this. I go, hey, Tom. He's like, what's going on?

You know? He's having fun. I go, tell Mike that you're better than Barry Sanders. He goes, why do you keep bringing this up? This is the best. So he goes to his friends, you know, tell them I was better than Barry Sanders And of course If Barry Sanders saw your father running He'd fucking cry

Your father was the best fucking baseball Football player ever right And he goes to the guy that did 30 years He goes nobody ran better than your father Then he looked at him and goes Who the fuck's Barry Sanders He's been in jail He's been in jail.

He's been in jail for fucking 30 years. But I mean, right away they took his back. Yeah, they took his back. Fucking loyal. Yeah. You're like, well, Barry Sanders is actually the greatest running back in the NFL. I was like, oh, I thought he'd talk about some guy who played at Patterson now. Because your father back in that day. My dad played football at Madison.

And it's funny when you hear him talk about like the guys back then. He's like, oh, man, you should have seen this guy, Artie Kahn. Yeah. Yeah. They always bring up some Jewish name. He was the best. Oh, this guy. He could dribble better than anybody.

And it's always like Jewish names. You're like, yeah, that was a different era, Dad. I don't think he's good. Once integration happened, Artie Khan decided to go to law school the way he could do a layup yeah unbelievable oh you should have seen this guy joshua greenberg guy was could run like the wind at tight end you know what i miss man i miss the old like european racism like the other cultures that they would just reference. Like, you know, he would say weird shit.

He's like a fucking Armenian gypsy, this guy. Well, he would be like, you know, what are you leaving in the fucking curtains, though? What are we, Polacks? You know what I mean?

Why did I... Close the gate. What are we, a bunch of Czechoslovakians? Yeah, what are you, a fucking Romanian dog? Close it. What the fuck?

You know those things that don't exist? They had those weird things. My grandmother used to say to Irish, they always have dishes in their sink. What the fuck? You know those things that don't exist? They had those weird things. My grandmother used to say to Irish, they always have dishes in their sink. What?

That shit I miss. I tell man, that World War II generation, there was nothing. They built this whole city. Oh, they built everything. Dude, they, because you know why?

They didn't fuck with drugs. When you want to pinpoint when America starts going to shit, it's when drugs hits this country. Because I was in Beirut performing. I was in Lebanon. And let me tell you, man, that city's decimated. But there's no crime.

You know, there's a difference between being poor, right? And don't get me wrong. Poverty does breed people that want it. Drugs does more. Drugs makes rational people rob their grandmother. Yeah, that's a very interesting point, actually. And once that hit America, that's really where we start to go to shit. Because they were talking about growing up in the building, the tenement they were in.

There was one bathroom in the fucking hallway. Yeah. But it was a clean building. Right. Nobody was pissing in the fucking stairways. That's drug addicts do that. Yeah, it's all the drug addicts. That's an interesting point. I've never heard that, never thought clean building. Right. Nobody was pissing in the fucking stairways. That's drug addicts do that. That's all the drug addicts. That's an interesting point.

I've never heard that, never thought about that. Yeah. And he also noticed it progresses mental health issues. Yeah. Because homeless guys now are fucking dangerous. Yeah, they are. You don't play, you don't touch any of that shit, right? I've never tried pot, no.

Yeah, no, no drugs. Nothing, no drugs. Just a little booze here like a fucking gentleman. Yeah, you know what? In a Frankie Sinatra glass, you swirl it around, and you bring people bread. I always say I was raised by old school Italians. That's why I have no tattoos.

Yeah, yeah. You just. Class. Fucking, well, no. You get processed. You're in the system. Right, right. So, you know, it was weird, man.

You know, you don't mark yourself. And then drugs, forget it. I remember, you know, the influential guys in my family, one of them that was like a father to me, he grabbed me one time and he said, because my friends were fucking around. He said, listen, again, he goes, if you rob a fucking bank,

if you murder somebody, I'll get you out. But if I find out you're using or selling drugs, I'm going to fucking disown you. You're going to live in that motherfucker. Yeah. I was like 10. I'm like, okay. Like the car, stealing the car, he didn't mind.

He's my godfather. That's hat in the strip club morality. Don't fucking use drugs. You can go murder that motherfucker, but don't smoke a joint. Me and my little brother got pinched when we were kids. were dressing up as boy scouts and collecting money okay and you guys were inventive criminals at a young age dude oh buddy you're stealing foliage i'm not kidding man me and my little brother uh we this is all we did when we were kids because my mother worked two jobs

she was by herself you know and uh it's funny too because we would leave money for her find money to give her we used to rob pay phones everything and um we got caught dressing up as boy scouts my mother's crying she's all nervous you know so she told my godfather come you know come to talk to us you know know, set him straight. He was so fucking proud. I'm dead serious. He was like, he was so fucking proud of us. Like,

he's like, you guys dressed up as black. He was trying to reprimand us. At the same time, I could just see he was like, fucking genius. These fucking kids are great. Come here,

you bitch, you fucking jake no i mean he tried to discipline i just i just saw it on him man i knew right away he was so fucking proud of us i tell the story of my because it was never i was around shit i was never in it right right and i talk about it you have three types people are around it people that are in it people that are about it right i was just around it right i'm not a fucking i'm not about shit right you know if you've ever been in a holding cell for a considerable amount of time you you know the guy that's that he's meant to be there right right he's shitting

in front of everybody's home what is that again people around it people in it in it people about it and there's very few very few people you always come with these fucking witticisms dude uh very few people that are about it yeah like i i have a friend of mine that you can see when someone's about it in their eyes right they're they've already accepted the fact they're gonna go to jail before they go to jail right and that's how they operate right you know what i mean yeah and they'll do everything they can but it's almost like you know one day we're gonna get it's almost like death to them yeah they just don't care right but they're also smart enough to distance

themselves and you know the people that are in it that's the ones you gotta look out for right because if they're not about it why be in it right that's why i stayed around they're a little off something's off well you you they're they're not comfortable well they're all fucking trying to prove something well they're they're going to avoid something. Because some of them go into it, yeah, to try and be something. But when the shit hits the fan, they're not built for it.

Right. You know what I mean? My thing was, I was around it, but I was smart enough to get away from it. Right. And it wasn't like... But you didn't have it in your heart. When you're around it, you could be...

Dude, I couldn't fucking hurt somebody for money yeah someone else's money right but again that was never asked of me i i was more just like stupid little little scams and that's mostly when i was younger when i got to about 24 23 24 you start to see what happens is especially you don't have a father right when you're a young dude and again as sons you can't help but want to protect and take care of your mother right so she raised three boys and me and my younger brother i was the reason why my younger brother went off the rails but you know but for me because he i was his father figure like my older brother was more like a father to me too you know and again you have these male influences around you uh that but they're not always there it's almost like if you have your father with you every day and you start to go off the path he'll put you back on right but he's he's

standing next to you when you don't have that you you walk and you start to go far from it and then somebody steps in and puts you back does that make sense you go a little farther you go way farther and then then that's when they step in because they're not around you every day you know and i was always worried you know about my mother and i was always thinking about you know how i could make money to to help her out because you know when you hear your mother crying at night, you know, because women, that's the other thing. When you're raised by a single mom, the house is clean, always fed. But, you know, if there's a problem, everybody knows. You know, women, I can't, what are we going to do?

With a man, if you have a single dad, you know, everything's taken care of. But, like, when you come home, there's a note. There's a steak in the fridge. Cook it. You know what I mean? Defrost it. That's his way of doing it. He pops a few back.

He hits you a few times, but everything's pretty. You don't know what the problem is. You'll never know what the problem is. You're just wearing the problem on your face. And when you're a young, when you're a young boy and you know, and again, it's, she does, they don't mean to do it. It's just, it's just the way they react to life. So, but when you're a young boy, you create in your head what you think a man is and you it's and it's influenced by either things that you just gravitate towards like you say okay a man has to get a lot

of pussy be tough in fights be good in sports you know and you create this thing in your head what you think a man should be but then when you become become a man, and especially if you're smart, you start to realize that's not what a man is. And then you got to spend like 10 years breaking all these bad habits you created for yourself. You know? So when I was in my teens and early twenties, I looked up to that stuff in a sense, but I was also doing it to help out. But when I was a little kid, dude, I used to, I was, you know, because I figured out ways. I was cracking pay phones,

like the old school ones where the key on the side. Yeah. Dude, you know, you hold it up, you hit it, keep hitting it till that, because there's something in there that holds it, it cracks. And then the change starts to come out. Yeah.

You know, and I would take that. Call it an Italian pinata. Is that real? Is that the car? No, I just made it up. But, so me and my,

I was smart enough to, to get a job with, there was a guy at the gas station. I'm not kidding. I'm, I'm maybe seven or eight. And my little brother was my partner. He's like,

he was always with me. And again, we were always outside. We were always on. He's not the gay, the gay one was the older one. The older one. Right. The older one was tough too outside. We were always on. He's not the gay. The gay one was the older one. The older one. Right.

The older one was tough too, doing stuff like that too. No, not at all. He wasn't like Omar from The Wire. All right. Not at all. Okay. No, he was, my older brother was class personified. Like he was just a smart, good kid.

Yeah. Anyways, we went to the gas station and I asked the guy, can I have a job? Now, thinking back now I don't even know how old he was but could you imagine two little kids come in and ask for a job so he said look come after school every day break some boxes I'll give you a dollar he gave us a soda

me and my brother would be like DDT in boxes and just breaking up stuff for him he'd just give us a dollar so I was hitting the pay phones I figured out how to hit the pay phones and i gave my mother 60 and this is in 82 83 quarters you were just wait like what 79 80 it's 79 70 it was around there well no i yeah i got the i cashed him in whatever and i gave her money and she's looking at this going how much is this guy

paying you at the fucking gas station she was like i'm about to get a job at the gas station but i was smart enough to know that if i gave her that right i could say i was working at the gas station oh yeah at that age yeah you gotta you were born with a criminal mind um i think it's any comic you're born with seeing angles yeah the, the hustle. Yeah, the angles. Well, more of the predicting. Yeah. Right? Like seeing what's next and trying to anticipate.

From a very early age, you were laundering. It's laundering. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, I have a gift. Your mom's like, where'd you get it? You're like, I got a fucking good, I got an honest job. I'm working. Go ask the guy.

Go find a lawyer. Yeah, I'm down there at the gas station. You get $60 To break the bottle I gave her all this money man It's been a good month But See the other thing with her

She was very naive Cause she grew up In you know Sicilian father Like my real father Picked her up on a date He was wearing blue jeans My grandfather sent him home

Had to put a suit on I said my daughter's not a whore I like that there was a dress code To pick up the mom Fuck yeah there was Fuck yeah there was Fuck yeah there was For him? Yeah

He's like get this fucking hippie out of here But she She's you know He listens to Bob Dylan Get him the fuck I want him He's gotta be listening to Frankie Sinatra Or else he can't pick you up

Jimmy Roselli Yeah Jimmy Roselli Jimmy Roselli That was his guy Yeah Dude I hurt my shoulder Just giving in Hurt my shoulder

My mother goes to church Comes out There's a massage parlor Across the street In the strip mall Dude, I hurt my shoulder. Just giving in. Hurt my shoulder. My mother goes to church, comes out. There's a massage parlor across the street in the strip mall. So she decides I'm going to get my son, because I was coming down, she wanted to get me a gift certificate for a massage. So she's telling me the story. She goes, but it's never open. And I'm like, that's a fucking Rubin's.

Rubin's. Your mom almost got you a Rubin's. But I was thinking, how's a fucking Rubin's Rubin tongue. Your mom almost got your Rubin tongue. But I was thinking, how fucking great would that have been if they were open? And she comes in and goes, I want to get my son a Gimster tip again. They would have been like, oh, she's number one mom. Okay. I guess so. You're a good mom.

Yeah, I guess so. Dude, could you imagine? I go, you almost went to the fucking Rub-A-Tongue. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, man. Funny. Yeah, I got to get the...

How much... Yeah, you got to get the fuck out of here. And plus, we got to go start a bodega to sell these fucking egg and cheeses. I got 15 rolls sitting here. I don't know what I'm going to do with them. Let's go open a bodega and sell egg and cheeses. Do yourself a favor. Break one of those rolls. Just taste.

I'll taste it. Yeah, I will. Are you on your no carbs? No, I do carbs. I mean, if I'm fucking fat as shit, yeah. I'll try one right after. It's a strong roll. Yeah, I'll take it out. Strong guest. Strong man. Brett Ernst. Check him out. By the way, I'm always wearing the same thing. Yeah, it's always black shirt and fucking chain out.

Do you do that when you're on the road? I just bring three outfits and I have eight black t-shirts. I do that. All the do that when you're on the road? I just bring three outfits. Yeah. And I have eight black T-shirts. I do that. All the same. And this way, I don't have to fucking worry about it. That's what I do. I don't want to pack too much.

Oh, it's the worst, bro. I just count out underwear and socks, one pair of jeans, couple shirts, and I'm good. Done. Yeah. I hate checking the bag. I want to go right through. Right through. Do you do clear?

I do clear and TSA pre-checked out. I do Clear and TSA, and I do the side concierge. You don't do the right TSA. I got the right TSA. Tell him he's got the bullshit TSA. No, you got to do the other way. Wait, me and Verzi do this all the time. Wait, you like Clear?

Yeah. You should have fucking came. My cousin has, He has his own It's a version of Clear Verzi tells me You guys When you guys hang out You wait to see

What the other one tips So you can tip more Yeah We always want But it's What he put down A 20 here Here's 25

I fucked him the first time Cause he filled it out And then I put 10 more Yeah And then he's like Motherfucker And then he put ten more Yeah And then he's like Motherfucker And then he put cash in

Meanwhile you know Yeah So go to Brett Brettcomedy.com Check his dates See him on the road It's Brett with one T

Oh Brett with one T Yeah Brett with one T And also Check out Cobra Kai And fucking You know what I mean? Keep your chain out All day

Want to give a shout out, as always, to BrooklynCannery.com Man, healthy sodas, no added sugar Natural sweeteners like monk fruit, stevia, whatever it is They make great cocktail mixtures for the holidays BrooklynCannery.com Giannis Pappas, all one word for 15% off. Get rid of your high fructose corn syrup. Get rid of your regular sugar sodas. Brooklyn Cannery, trust me, their sodas are delicious and they're good for you. And they're also prebiotic. They help your gut.

Long, long, short coffee, long, short coffee.com. Wanted to give a shout out to Stephen Miller. I ordered my coffee from here. You guys should too. The coffee's great. Promo code FUMES. You get 15% off. Nice little discount. And it's delicious. So longshorecoffee.com. Also, Nate Linder.

natelinder.com. Long Days is rebranding the Giannis Papasour. But what are you doing to keep your company's brand fresh and up to date in 2023? Even his copy's great. There's a lot of bullshit marketing agencies out there, but Nate Linder only sells marketing plans that are set for success because he's focused on building a decade-long relationship with his clients. I like the way this guy talks. Nate can help you rank higher on Google and drive leads or sales. What is your business

marketing strategy for 2023, people? Nate gives free consultations to the Honest Pappas Hour listeners, so he would be happy to help you develop yours. I think I was a good pitch man for him. Oh, yeah. Yeah, there you go. Clip it, Nate Linder. Put it on your fucking website.

Put it on your gram. Minetti. Happy holidays, my friends. Chris Minetti, Minetti Happy holidays my friends Chris Minetti Minetti Financial Services This could just be on his credit card He could be behind bars We have no way of knowing Go check and see if it's open

He doesn't even give us an address guys We don't even know where it is There's just a number There's just a number 215-750-3730 We'll probably call it one day He's got a number. There's just a number. 215-750-3730. We'll probably call it one day. He's got no website.

He's got no social media. And he has no address. So he'll meet you on the street. He'll meet you on the street and cash your check. He'll meet you at a McDonald's booth and cash your check. Call Chris at 215-750-3730 in the local area of Philly and South Jersey. Chris, I hope you come into the Philly

Punchline New Year's Eve. For the free .art, you know the deal. Hawaii, baby. Music in Hawaii. It's an organization dedicated to providing artists from Hawaii a place to develop their craft. Go check out their shows, their artists, everything.

ForTheFree.art, a great website to peruse if you're a music fan or if you want to find out about cool bands from Hawaii. Very cool. There's a lot of good bands in Hawaii. Also, what do we got? We got Jared. Jared, ExclusiveAutoShipping.com, my friends. Okay?

Put some reviews up there for him, too. Well, no, he's saying his reviews are stellar. All five stars, baby, in four years of business. What a good business this guy's got. He moves your car. Okay? He moves your car. So if you buy a car out of state, you need it moved, guess who moves it for you?

ExclusiveAutooshipping.com Student military discounts available and get a free quote from Jared. And we got a new shout out. Manly Girl Studios, which I can only assume is some trans porn. No,

it's the home of four hilarious podcasts that are guaranteed to make you laugh. Anyone tells you they're guaranteed to make you laugh is 100% true every single time. Satisfaction. Satisfaction guaranteed. I can vouch for Manly Girl Studios because they've joined and the check cleared. So their shows include Gringo in the Rough, A Side of Fries.

I like these names. Casa de Thinking and The Manly Girl Show. That's probably their flagship show is The Manly Girl Show, where a couple of trans women just sit around and sword fight. Whether you're into unscripted comedy or thought-provoking discussions, we've got something for everyone with hosts Art, Andy, and their interesting friends. These guys got some interesting friends.

You're sure to have a ridiculous good time. Tune in and get ready to be entertained. Their website on YouTube, their website is manlygirly.com. Manlygirly.com. That's their YouTube pageie.com That's their YouTube page. Yeah, that's their YouTube page. Oh, look at that. manlygirlie.com

We're taking a peek right now. What is consciousness? And I don't know if that's Art or Andy, but the kid likes to eat. Whichever guy's on the right, he's a nice chunky guy. I want to jump off his stomach. I want to fucking use his stomach as a diving board and hop into some pillows.

Welcome aboard. Yeah. So, oh, look at these episodes. The Manly Girlie Show. Casa de Thinking. These guys are screwed in. Yeah? Their views are going up.

So check them out, man. Maybe you'll love this. Gringo and the Rough. Yo, they got a podcast network, these guys. Side of Fries. Look at all these shows. Unbelievable. So check them out.

Thank you for joining up. We like you. I assume you guys will be here for one month. This doesn't feel like, they don't feel like they're here for the long run. This feels like Wendy's Zimina. Just in and out, baby. In and out. But I like it.

I like the hustle, and I appreciate the support. And I wish you guys the best. And I'm promoting you guys. I checked out their pods. When you're doing copy for people, you got to bring it. I checked out the pods. Satisfaction guaranteed. So check them out

at, what is it, Manly Girlie Studios. Alright. We'll see you next week. It's been a long day.