Yannis Pappas Hour - Racist Puppets & Maps

Episode Date: November 20, 2021

Yanni is the only real news left! Jared Harvin is in studio! Yanni talks Liz Cheney’s excommunication from the GOP in Wyoming, Beto is back and Texas don’t care, Bezos & Musk are selling stock like America is a going out of business, crypto is here to stay because it’s too big to fail but Janet Yellen says there’s nothing to fear, yeah right B%tch, an ODU professor has been asked to resign after controversy over a theory that pedophiles should not be stigmatized, Sesame Street has added its first Asian-America, Kyle Rittenhouse and I don’t care and I give my take on my friend Tim Dillon vs Michael Che. It’s LongDays so you know was da deal is. Sponsors Talk spacehttps://www.talkspace.comPromo code: FUMESThe Daily Tip presented by BETMGMhttps://www.audacy.com/thefanrichmond/hosts/betmgm-the-daily-tipManscaped https://www.manscaped.comPromo code: fumes Hello Fresh https://www.hellofresh.comPromo code: longdays14 Yanni tour dates & tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.comJoin for weekly Bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysLongDays is now officially going twice a week. Every Saturday & Thursday night. One weekly solo pod & a chat pod on Thursdays. Enjoy you hyenas! The show goes out every Saturday night & Thursdays to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram on Wednesdays. Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Good afternoon, everybody, or good evening, whatever time you're watching this. That's your business. This is America. I don't want to encroach on your rights. Texas, did I say it right? Am I a candidate to move there, buy a gun, and help defend you when you secede? Which is coming. Beto O'Rourke is back.

Or he's otherwise known in some circles as Beta O'Rourke. He's back. Well, hey, look, a lot of teams in the NBA have people who are the 12th man on the bench also. He's still in the league is basically what they're saying. He's got no fucking shot to win. That's my point. I shouldn't be cursing in the first 30 minutes because it limits our monetization, but I can't help myself because I am a loose mouth. I'm a floozy. Kyle Rittenhouse is dominating the headlines still, and I refuse to give a fuck, but we will talk about it because we can't bypass trending headlines to try to chase the algorithm, which I'm doing a horrible job of. Che vs. Dylan, comedy beef. Who do you got? Which side are you on, Michael Che or Tim Dylan? Michael Che just dropped a special on Netflix. I heard it's pretty good. You should check it out.

Tim Dylan just dropped a couple of crab cakes into his mouth. And you should check those out as well. Inflations just hit 4.2%. An Iranian helicopter buzzed an aircraft carrier. King Z, my president, who I owe my allegiance to, just had a Zoom call with Joe Biden. And Joe Biden was in a diaper. And Jeffrey Toobin did smack off in a screen that was down. We will talk about that. Let's go, Brandon. What does that chant mean? I will give you the scoop. This is the only real news left on this planet. I am the new Brian Williams. This is my audition

tape for NBC to replace them. And you're watching Long Days and you're not a sizzle house. All right. So let's start with a little Liz Cheney. Liz Cheney. I know her from Tim Dillon putting a wig on and pretending to be her in a view sketch that Joe Rogan saw and invited him on his show. That's what I know about Liz Cheney. I don't even know if that was Liz Cheney. I think that was Meghan McCain. But that's my point. Why should I even know about these politicians' kids? Is this an oligarchy?

Is this a feudal system? Okay. You shouldn't be able to just run or be known just because your father was a politician that's like the louis the 14th days that's not how it should go okay your father should be in bed with the mob and a bootlegger like jfk's dad that's how i like my politician's fathers criminals that'sals. That's what I like. Or Nazis. Like George W. Bush's pops. Or granddad. Not W. The other one.

Herbert Walker. I think his father might have been a Nazi. But I mean, who wasn't in the 30s? They sold out the garden. Can you imagine they sold out the garden, dog? Imagine the not, I mean, what kind of show was that show I would have got there and been like yo man come on dog this is like one note like I kind of know the punch lines I know where you're going I you got to really mix up your material a little bit because I mean whoever spoke at that Nazi rally in the 30s at the garden that they sold out, they probably just all had the same mission.

Yeah, that is the garden. That is not a Billy Joel concert. It's a Rangers game. That is not a Billy Joel concert. Billy Joel and the Nazis share one thing in common, and that is they sold out the garden. So I don't know why I know even Liz Cheney who she is but she's the daughter of Dick Cheney who won't die I mean the kid just has at this point a robotic heart and Wyoming and the Republicans in Wyoming the Wyoming GOP where she hails from, I assume, has excommunicated her from the Republican Party

by a pretty thin margin when they voted. I didn't know they can do that. I didn't know they could do like a Catholic Church excommunication like they did to Galileo. But apparently Liz Cheney is no longer a Republican. And she, of course, responded, I guess they're just revoking Liz Cheney's Republican hood pass. They're saying you're not allowed to call yourself a conservative anymore. She's like, what are you talking about? I'm from the hood. What are you talking about?

I grew up with you guys. I like small government. You know, I'm for the Second Amendment. I'm against abortion or whatever. And they're like, no, no, no, that's not good enough anymore, dogs. Here's the deal. You do not support Donald Trump and his election in 2020 that was stolen. And you also don't support his connection to the January 6th uprising at the Capitol. So we got to take your hood pass, girl.

You're not Trump enough. This is exposing a little bit of a schism that's happening in the Republican Party right now, where there's some Republicans who support Trump. They're saying that, you know, essentially he didn't have anything to do with the January 6th uprising. And also he won that election. He didn't win. So they're just sticking on that. They're kind of like, well, I'm trying to think of a sports team that lost and the fans just won't let it go. They're kind of like the Deontay Wilder they're kind of like being very Deontay Wilder about this okay they're basically going no no no

no he cheated with his gloves no no no no he's a cheater and he's like okay how about this we can go over this for the third or fourth time here's all the numbers from all the machines and all those machines are suing all those networks that claim that they were faulty and threw the election for Biden, and they're going to lose big, bigly. Okay? Newsmax's getting sued. Fox is getting sued. The data's all in.

He lost the election. And they're going, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Your boy cheated. And so Biden's going, yo, you want to fight a third time? Let's fight a third time in Vegas. And then even after that fight, Deontay Wilder said, nah, I don't respect you. I don't respect you. I'm not shaking your hand.

I mean, there's no more of a sore loser than the bronze bomber. I mean, he basically lost three fights. He did knock him out a few times, but he got his ears boxed off. He got his ears boxed off. And then finally he capitulated and said you know what he's the better boxer Donald Trump you got beat by a senile old man it happened okay it's over but you can't run in 2024 with JFK Jr. he is available so that that election will be forthcoming that ticket will be forthcoming Beauty and the Beast be forthcoming. Beauty and the Beast, as you will.

That would be maybe, if JFK Jr. was to run with Donald Trump, I think their slogan should be Beauty and the Beast. That's a good one. Jared Harvin, I was about to call you JR. I was about to call you JR either from Dallas or JR from the Knicks. JR Smith.

JR Smith. There you go. Jared Harvin. I'm so used to saying JR J.R. Smith. J.R. Smith. There you go. Jared Harvin. I'm so used to saying J.R. 15, I got to get used to saying Jared. J.R. 15. I'm pretty sure that's what Kyle Rittenhouse used, but that's close enough. Did Kyle Rittenhouse use a J.R. 15, an A.R. 47, or an A.R. 15? There was a bunch of fans who really got on me for calling it an A.R. 47.

Even though it was our 47th episode, and I pretended that I did it on purpose when I didn't. Yeah, you're a guy that just likes to crunch numbers in his head. That's what you do. I like to crunch numbers and mix things up. Yeah. So have you ever seen John F. Kennedy Jr.?

Are you familiar with him? Yes, yes, yes. He's heartthrob, you know. Look at that guy. I mean, now, were they friends or something, Jay? I mean, that's the funny thing about trump is like everyone loved trump before he ran for office trump was like the hip-hop community loved trump black people loved trump here he is with jfk jr um the media loved trump

um epstein loved trump the clintons loved. Everyone loved Trump when he was just sort of this like, you know, fun, fake billionaire who would show up in Home Alone movies. And then the next thing you know, he's like, we got to build a border and get these Mexican rapists out. And everyone's like, well, you done changed. Yeah. You done changed, Carrot Top. So Liz Cheney, who knows? Maybe she'll join Dave Smith's Libertarian Party.

Maybe she will. I'm looking forward to hearing Liz Cheney and the Legion of Skanks explain her new pivot into the Libertarian Party. I didn't even know she was from Wyoming. I didn't even know she was an elected official. I'm not even sure if she is. I don't know. Is Liz Cheney an elected official in Wyoming? Does she live in Wyoming? Is that where the Cheneys are from, Wyoming? I think so, yeah.

Yeah. Well, listen, Liz. You live in a big shadow, okay? You live in a big shadow. Yeah. By big shadow, I mean, it's like, that's like being Cal Ripken Jr. That's like being Cal Ripken Jr. Jr.

Why did you even choose politics? She should have done something else. You're never going to be able to remove yourself. Nothing grows under big trees, Liz Cheney. Your pops orchestrated a war with a country that wasn't involved in the attack we were trying to respond to and now he's like beloved because he doesn't like trump so that's a big shadow and he's also got an electronic heart he's a cyborg so apparently Liz Cheney's no longer a Republican and um I don't know if that matters in Wyoming I don't know if anything in Wyoming

matters do you think the Wyoming tourism board lobbied the media just to report on a story nationally from Wyoming. When's the last time a national story from Wyoming was ever heard from? Yeah. To be honest with you, I forgot about Wyoming. Yeah. Wyoming. What is the capital of Wyoming? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure that they're mad that Gabby Petito wasn't found in one of their national parks.

That would have been a national story coming out of Wyoming. That would have put Wyoming back on the map. Yep. That would have been a nice opener for this Liz Cheney story. You know you're a bad place when Kanye West goes to you to make one of his albums. That's all I'm going to say. Did he go there? Yeah, he went to Wyoming.

He went to Wyoming. Yeah. What's the capital of Wyoming? Could either one of you tell me the capital of Wyoming? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure just to be an elected official, all you have to do is own an acre of land in Wyoming. That's all you got to do in Wyoming. I think that's all there is.

I bet you you could pay in quarters for an acre of land in Wyoming. I think you could show up with your winnings from a Coinstar cash-in and be like, I'm here for my acre. I'm not even sure Wyoming is aware that it's still in the United States. I think they still could be fighting Indians in Wyoming. Cheyenne. Cheyenne. I knew it was big for Indians.

So the capital is Cheyenne, Wyoming. And Liz Cheney lives in Wyoming. And if we start to see a lot of celebrities start to move to Wyoming, just prepare for Armageddon. Because they are the ones, you follow the elite class and what they're doing and where they go, because they are the ones, you follow the elite class and what they're doing and where they go, because they know the things we don't. And a lot of those celebrities have moved to Montana. And Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk are now selling stock. They are giving away, it's like

a Crazy Eddie commercial from the 80s, which is in our opening, where they're just slashing prices and giving it away and selling. What do they know? Does that mean a crash is imminent? Of course it is. Inflation's at 4.2%. You can't go to the pump and get gas for under like,

it's close to like five bucks a gallon right now. So we're in big trouble. And I don't know what's going on i'm no financial advisor i rely on the cash daddies to let me know what's going on in the financial realm that's a podcast i was just on with a couple guys yeah how we do it they're definitely not financial advisors all i know is that the staple center is being renamed crypto.com center and that does not flow off the tongue so they're really pushing this crypto shit on us. And now Matt Damon is doing a commercial on crypto.

So now I'm starting to think it's real. Now I'm starting to think I should buy some squid coin. Should we invent our own coin and limit it? Yeah. Or should we stick to my original financial plan for currency and use Taylor Swift's pussy juices and Jason Momoa's hair strands? Because those are actually things that a lot of people would value. I don't know. Crypto seems to be the thing.

Elon Musk is behind it. Matt Damon's behind it. They push it on every money exchange site. PayPal, Venmo. You go there, they ask you if you want to invest in crypto. They make it very easy for you. Jesse, you bought, did you buy? Are you in? Jared, did you buy? No, I didn't buy. You haven't bought yet? No, not going to buy. But let us not forget, Matt Damon is from Boston. So those kids don't really know about money. The only currency that they have is a large black coffees from Dunkin'.

That's how they— Yeah, I don't understand. Matt Damon's in on this now. And also the UFC is like pushing crypto.com. If someone can give me a coherent explanation for what crypto is, I'll buy one. I will buy one. I will buy one. Yeah, it's going to be the crypto.com arena, which definitely does not flow off the tongue. But there's a lot of signs that we're about to experience a real paradigm shift. The inflation, Bezos and Elon selling their stocks, and this pushing of crypto. there could be like a massive crash.

Janet Yellen, oh yeller, is saying that this is all due to the pandemic and by November next year, we should be back in business. But beloved Janet Yellen, there she is. She looks like George Washington.

It's just saying this is pandemic. This is all because of the pandemic and we'll be back to normal. But then I also read that Obama's former economic advisor warned Joe Biden about inflation and he doesn't understand why Joe Biden didn't heed his warning. I don't know what to believe. I am just following wherever they move.

If Kanye went to Wyoming to make his album, that's middle of the country, hard to have a civil war in Wyoming. Okay? So maybe Wyoming's where it's at next. Maybe I'll just move to Wyoming. Yeah. Maybe it's all about Cheyenne.

I don't know. We got to follow where they're going who knows what's gonna happen but if the Civil War breaks out I am not ready I got a.22 and that's just not gonna cut it I got a.22 rifle it's not gonna cut it but hopefully

my beloved leader King Z will helicopter me out of here and I can have some use for him as, I don't know, a T-boy or whatever they could use me as in China. It's going to get to the point where, do you think that it's going to get to the point where American immigration to China starts getting high and people start trying to get in? And you go to Beijing, you just go to, you go to Beijing and you just see a bunch of American dudes watching dishes, washing dishes and like a lot of undocumented prostitutes. And they're just like, where are

you from? You know, when you, you know, here, you'd be like, where are you from? They're like, I'm from Honduras. I'm from Venezuela. And then you go to Beijing. They were like, where are you from? They're like, I'm from Honduras. I'm from Venezuela. And then you go to Beijing. They're like, where are you from? You're like, I'm from Cheyenne, Wyoming. I'm from Kentucky. My name is Sally. They start calling us, not beaners, but like apple pyres. I mean, pretty soon, I think China is going to win. As I've said many times, they had a big Zoom call, like I mentioned in our esteemed opening.

King Xi and Biden finally got on the horn face-to-face via Zoom. And they talked it out for a couple of hours about their heated tensions. And they're just basically saying what each other wants to hear at this point right is that what you think they're just kind of like just kicking it down the road which is what you do when there's a problem you can't solve they're just kicking it down the road

i guess biden is pledging to abide by the one china policy and i guess king z is uh gonna abide by the semi-autonomy of those uh three disputed areas right taiwan hong kong but basically he's already surreptitiously taking them as we know so it's like they're just kicking it down the road dude kick it down the road kick this problem down the road i bet you like nothing got solved on that call i bet you it was just like one of those meetings that corporations have for people to feel like they're working you ever sit in one of those meetings where people just like we have a meeting and they people hollywood loves to have meetings yeah they love to have meetings and before the internet really took over you could feel that like there's a lot of people in this room whose jobs you just don't really need but they're there

and they sit there in the meeting you tell them what your show idea is and they could sit there silently and and and they could say hey you know what i'm not a creative guy i'm not in here to pitch a show i don't know what i'm talking about. I'm an executive. You just talk. But then they wouldn't continue to get a paycheck. So then they go, why don't you try, instead of him living in a tent, why don't you make him live in a shack? And you're like, that's great. We'll do that. We'll do that.

And they're like, okay, we work today. It was a hard day of work. What a hard day of work. I bet you that's what that Zoom call was. Like everyone just got off and go, like I've done so many of those call, like so many of those meetings where you just kick things around and then you leave there and you go like nothing. We just moved around shit. We just moved furniture around and then put it back there again. Yeah.

And this was a three-hour call, right? This was a three-hour call right this was a three-hour call hey so you know two hours and 15 minutes of that was uh spent with joe biden with his sound off because he didn't know how to work the computer he does not know how to work the computer and yeah he definitely wasn't wearing pants for it there's the call right there's a picture of the call they're at their desks king z czar z like i like to call him went so far as to put the American flag there with the Chinese. He doesn't want to disrupt shit too much. You know?

He doesn't want to disrupt shit too much. They're still milking us. So it's like, they're going to kick this down the road a little bit. And the tragedy will come, hopefully, way down the road. I will not tolerate any men who listen to the show who don't have their fumes in order. If you are fumed out, then you are living in error. You need to fix it. There's only one way. There's only one company that cares about mowing down fumes the way your fumes need to be mowed down. And you know who I'm talking about, Manscaped and their performance package 4.0. I don't care if you draw design in there, get creative. Be your

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like the Pillsbury pumpkin cookie dough dough because that's in season right now. So go get your meals. Jesse, we both did it. How incredible is it? Delicious. The food is delicious, and you don't have to deal with like – you know when you buy onions and you want to cook and you use half the onion and then you put the rest of the onion in your refrigerator, then your refrigerator ends up smelling like onions, smells just like your grandma's closet smells like mothballs because you got leftover onion. They give you the exact portion you need to cook this specific delicious meal. So sign up now and just start using HelloFresh. You will thank me. It's just a more convenient, cheaper way. It's 30% cheaper than grocery stores.

This deal is just going to make it great for you because you listen to my show. Go to HelloFresh.com slash LongDays14. Use the code LongDays14 and you will get 14 free meals and three gifts. 14 free meals, okay? How much better do you want? They are America's number one meal kit for a reason. This ain't number two. They're number one. Hopefully, we can all get back to thinking about more important news like Rachel Dahl is all turning 44.

Happy birthday, queen. Happy birthday, Queen. Happy birthday, Queen. I don't know what you're doing. I'm sure you're going to, probably somebody's taking you to Erykah Badu concert when she comes through town. No question, I know you're going to be celebrating with some Alizé.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Maybe a couple Jamaican beef patties yeah with cocoa bread yeah let's just say the venue where she celebrates her birthday woman will be free after 11 ladies will be free after 11 and for sure she's gonna yeah she's no no man is going to ask her to dance. They're just going to find their way to her and just start grinding. Yeah.

I don't know how people thought this woman was black because her middle name is Anne. That's a white thing. You can't get more white than Anne. I can't tell if this is Rachel Dolezal or Alana Glazer. Someone help me, please. But look, you're a black guy. I mean, she's committed. Yeah, she is committed.

She's committed. At what point is committed. She's committed. At what point do you just let her live her dream? I would think she's biracial at least. I mean, I would say just let her live her dream. I mean, at this point, she should just be accepted as African American. Yeah, she could pass as Vonda Carlo's cousin. She can. I mean, she braids her hair.

I mean, she still puts bronzer on. I mean, everyone knows she's white. She's as white as white can be. I mean, her parents could not be whiter. And she's still, she's committed. I respect it. I'm like, yo, at this point, you're black. You know what I mean?

You're black. Why are we taking her dream from her? Yeah, all she has to do is send me proof that she uses a washcloth and I'm in. If she uses a washcloth, that's it. That's enough for me as well. I mean, isn't this America the land of opportunity? She wants to be black. I mean, look at her, dog.

I say let her be back. It's her 44th birthday. She still looks good at 44. Which is a black thing. That's a black thing. Yep. Black thing. I've said it before.

I'll say it again. I think she was able to fool so many black people because she got a nice fat ass. Hypnotized. Those are like the pinstripes of the Yankees. Yeah. You just get hypnotized and you're like, wait a second. Am I playing the Yankees? Yeah.

It's just too strong of a distraction. Yeah. Why do you think a rapper impregnated Iggy Azalea? I mean, the girl can't rhyme, but she's got a fat ass. She's got a fat ass. Yeah. If there's one thing brothers would look the other way, it's a fat ass. Yeah.

She might have even like did something real white and then a couple black guys got suspicious and they're like, it can't be. There's no white woman can have a fat ass like that. Yeah. Can't be. Can't be. woman who can have a fat ass like that. Yeah. Can't be. Can't be possible. Happy birthday, queen. 44.

I know you're living off cameos right now, and I think that that's bad. I really think we need to forgive. We need to forgive Rachel Delazal. She's had everything taken for her. And, I mean, look at her hair. I mean, she even makes her hair black yeah yeah i don't know how she does it how would she do that i mean she's got have you seen the teenage photos of her she has straight blonde hair no no so that's her right hold up hold up yeah hold on see jared harvard got

distracted he's like who's that jesse's you went on that she got a fat ass Yeah Yeah I mean I don't know what it's gonna take I mean Rachel Dolezal Has been knocking on the door She knows what she's doing This is marketing She knows exactly what she's doing Yeah I mean

But I mean it's not paying off I mean she's You know I think she's in the poor house man She's living off of Cameos and That's about it. But, happy birthday, queen.

Beautiful Nubia queen. You know what I mean? Love you, Rach. I think at some point you need to be forgiven. I think at some point we gotta let Rachel Dolezal in front row

at a Donnell Rawlings show. Oh, man. So the infrastructure bill is passed. 13 Republicans crossed the aisle to pass this infrastructure bill, which is another kicking of the ball down the road, right? They're just kicking it down the road. I don't know what it entails. I don't know the details of it,

but apparently they're going to disseminate more aid and try to fix this economy, right? They're going to print more money. I don't know what they're going to do, but the infrastructure bill, Biden's bill, has passed. Can you pass me those glasses uh jared right there thank you sir you look like where's waldo today yeah i know yeah so the infrastructure here's what their states districts stand to get so it's just they're giving money to local governments right

so they're just they're they're they're going to try to help each state based on i guess what that state basically needs i guess here's the key points uh joe biden the plan will put $550 billion in new money to transportation, broadband, and utilities. Biden made the case for Democrats $1.75 trillion in social safety net and climate policy. And those are the key points. So think i guess a lot some's going to medicare then right some social security i guess that's what social that's and then they're they the climate stuff so they're going to try to invest in the climate sector to create a new job so creating some new jobs so they're going hard uh with the greens with the greenies which could create some new jobs you know that could create some new jobs, you know?

That could create some new jobs. I don't know. Maybe like they'll do like wind power, right? Where you can hire a bunch of immigrants to just blow. Yeah. What if that becomes a new power? It's just a bunch of, because you always have to have an underclass, right? That's how capitalism works.

So there's just a bunch of people who are hired under the table to just sit there all day and take shifts where they just blow and the fan goes and it just powers a city. $1 trillion. $1 trillion that they get from from the federal reserve which is a private bank that loans it to the government they just print it it's a very interesting system that has

been pointed out is unfair i'm not smart enough to understand it but until ben affleck is in the crypto.com currencies with Matt Damon, I'm not getting in. Yep. Because I don't do a Matt Damon without a Ben Affleck. Yeah. I don't do it. Yep.

I don't do it. I got off the Matt Damon train once he went solo and started becoming more successful than my boy Ben Affleck, who's clearly handsomer than Matt Damon, who looks like he's a stretched out midget. He's got a big head and he looks like he was stretched out. Yeah, but you always get a little stagnant when you come into terms with a Puerto Rican. So I can't really blame him for that. That's yeah.

I mean, it distracts you a little bit. Once you start dating a Puerto Rican, that's so good. Yeah. And sometimes it throws your career for a loop. Yeah. And sometimes it throws your career for a loop. Yeah. Get Ben Affleck to sign on with Matt Damon on crypto.com and I will invest.

Until then, I'm sticking with the Federal Reserve's debt notices. Because they still work. I can still buy a sandwich with my money. I don't understand crypto where you're saying the only thing I can buy is more Bitcoin and then I can't spend that Bitcoin on anything except a Tesla that's the only thing you can buy what can you buy with Bitcoin can I get a massage with Bitcoin like if I went into if I went into a strip club how do I make it rain Bitcoin on a stripper I don't know Do I have to just tell her to use her imagination and then just hold up and say, trust me, they're in my computer and just do like this in her head and hope she goes, yas, daddy, yas. How are you going to sell this to normal people when you can't

walk into a McDonald's and buy a quarter pounder with Bitcoin? What can you buy Bitcoin with? You just hold it. It adds in value. This is what I understand. You hold the Bitcoin. What can you buy Bitcoin with? You just hold it. It adds in value. This is what I understand. You hold the Bitcoin. You spend dollars to buy the Bitcoin. So basically, the Bitcoins are only worth how much you can buy or sell them in dollars, which means the dollars still are the more valuable between the Bitcoin and the dollar. The dollar, which requires no energy, no computer, no delusion, is right there. Requires no energy. No storing costs. Except for the fact that if you keep it in your mattress and someone finds out, you will get robbed.

Yeah. So that's what I know. It's worth the amount of dollars you can pay for it or sell it. And then once you have the Bitcoin bitcoin you're supposed to hold it because now you're invested in bitcoin and wait for it to overtake the dollar am i correct in understanding that so if it doesn't overtake the dollar the people who got out too late will lose money and the people who sold it earlier will gain money. But if it becomes a new currency, the opposite, right? The people who got in late will be fucked. And the people who got in early will make money selling it to the people who got in late.

How is it not a stock? It doesn't make sense. How is it not a stock without a company? This just sounds like selling stocks to me. Jesse, you're a smart kid, okay? Can you explain this to me? Absolutely not. You can't explain it.

And you've tried, right? Because I spoke to my cousin-in-law, who's like a millionaire surgeon. He was just voted one of the best surgeons on Long Island. He fucking rebuilds people's faces. And he's smart and everything. And I said, okay. We were sitting hanging out. We were on Long Island.

We were in Muttontown. So you know it's fucking Muttontown. Yeah, that's money. That's money. We're sitting there. The guy knows money, right. We were in Muttontown. So you know it's fucking, you know, Muttontown. Yeah, that's money. That's money. We're sitting there. The guy knows money, right? He's an adult, unlike me, okay? And I said, explain this to me.

And he said, this is what he said to me. And this is one of the smartest people I've ever interacted with in my life. He goes, I've read everything about it. He goes, I don't understand it. He's like, I was thinking about investing in it. I tried to understand it, and don't understand it. He's like, I was thinking about investing in it. I tried to understand it and I cannot understand it. And that's where the conversation began and end. And so then I said, okay, we're in the same boat.

I don't understand it. And he goes, if I can understand it, if someone can explain it to me so I can understand it, I'll invest in it. And I said, okay, we're in the same boat. And then we just got in that rowboat and rowed all the way away from Bitcoin and bought a pizza with fucking cash in an account from my debit card.

Yeah. Are you going to get into crypto? I know, but to me, really, it just seems like cryptocurrency is Spanish in the United States right now. You never know if you're going to use it until it's too late. People are saying you're going to need it. Spanish-speaking people are overtaking the country right now, so it's going to become prevalent more in english but if you don't if you don't learn it then hey you're you're out yes so you better learn spanish so crypto is the learning spanish of the economy that's what it is yeah if you don't learn spanish you're not going to be able to

communicate in fact in about 15 years there's going to be people posting on social media where spanish people are angry that people are speaking English. You ever see those racist videos? Yeah. Where some woman's like, I'm not responding to you. Learn your fucking, learn my language. Pretty soon it's going to be like, Hablas Espanol, Karen. Gringo.

Yeah. I don't know. And there's going to be a lot of people in the comments right now, and I can see them right now. They're watching the video. Hi, how are you? Going, Yanni, you're a boomer.

Get into crypto. Yanni, crypto's taking off. Yanni, get your NFTs. How come there's not a baby gorilla in your profile pic? Yanni, Mike Tyson has a crypto photo. He has an NFT photo on his thing. And apparently now the NFT, the definition of nft

has been expanded to mean a lot of things right it's just basically on the internet that's limited it's not just a photo anymore i mean it's not just a painting i thought it was a new korean boy band to be honest with you yeah yeah i thought it was a new government agency yeah national uh something transportation i thought it's i thought it was a government acronym, like a new agency. Look at these NFTs, dog. They're not even like good art. That's not even good art.

Those look like Nintendo Game Boy. It looks like Nintendo Game Boy. And how am I supposed to pay? But that's nostalgic for you, though. Where am I supposed to put it? Why would I spend $7 million to put that as my profile pic or just to have it i know here's a bunch of nfts that's steph curry's got one of those and you know but hats off to the artists i guess that are making a shit ton of money on this right

yeah i'm like jesse you gotta hop in on this quick yeah jesse why are you not creating nfts your brothers are becoming millionaires off NFTs. I know you like to finger paint, so just get a touchscreen and go to work. Go to work, dog. Get it at your sketch and fucking finger paint. Now, your brothers are making money. They weren't able to explain it to you because they're also millennials, and they can't explain it to you?

I don't think there's a lot to explain. So what do you understand of it? Let's do it on the show right now. So what is your understanding based on what they're telling you? Basically, it's a JPEG. It's a piece of art that you own digitally.

So there's a wallet that lives online and that's your art collection. That's your art collection to show digitally. Right. Right. And beyond that,

I have no idea what else. That's it. That's it. Yeah. That idea what else that's it that's it yeah that doesn't that's not enough for me man i know they're going up in value they're going they continue to go in value they just seem like the new nudes yeah and uh yeah i don't i don't you know i don't understand it and they go up in value because there's a limited amount of them right it's not like a there's a limited amount of originals and there's a way to tell that it's the original like i can't just screenshot steph curry's and make it mine i'm actually going to try that i'm going to try that i'm going to screenshot his and make it mine and see what

happens has anyone ever done that yeah because that's his i'm going to screenshot it and steal it and see what happens and are people really going to be like hey man it's worth nothing because it's not the original it's like dog it's a cartoon who cares if it's the original i think this has to do with like slowly us moving into the internet as like a real place and people's delusions starting to feel like they're gonna like show their stuff off

in a virtual place like you're gonna go to someone's virtual home and there'll be a original thing on the wall and we'll be living in there maybe that'll happen I don't want to live in that world where I'm sitting in it with a matrix plug to my head

and like I'm hanging out with Jesse we're in the same room, but we go, let's go to fake Paris together. I don't want to do that. It's the preparation for the metaverse. It's the preparation for the fucking metaverse where we're all going to be just plugged in. And then there's going to be a tube of food going into us

and we're going to live in this fake place. That's weird, no? It is weird. Is that boomer to think that's weird? No, it's not boomer to think it's weird. I'm worried though because you don't understand this and your wife is 16 years younger than you and she doesn't even understand it so i don't know where the world is gonna go because if both of you don't understand that it's just it's just a ripple it's a really ripple effect but you know what i honestly think and you don't understand it you're 25 i don't understand

it i'm disconnected i'm not trying to create art with like looks like this i'm trying to go viral on instagram so i'm focused on two different not trying to create art that looks like this. I'm trying to go viral on Instagram. So I'm focused on two different things. But I do think that when you look at stuff that doesn't seem like it has any value, that becomes the value. Because I think when we talk about inflation, there's an inflation of one certain thing, and the market is in a certain way, so it has to balance out. So something that is actually valuable, you have to make something invaluable valuable. So that's why you like dirty sneakers. People usually keep it clean. Dirty sneakers are valuable because that's the balancing of the seesaw right there.

So I think that's what this is. You know, you're making something that seems invaluable, valuable, and then you shift the markets. And then when that gets imploded, you flip it the other way. So it's basically 100 percent bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. It's bullshit. It's bullshit until it doesn't become bullshit.

Right. And that happens when capital infuses, you know? Or when Jeff Bezos buys it up. Yeah. $69 million for this one. What? Okay. Okay.

What's on the screen? So what's on the screen is worth $69 million. I mean, are we not in reality anymore? That's worth $69 million right there. It's sold for $69 million. To who? Who has $69 million of expendable income to spend on an NFT that can only live

on their Facebook profile or their Instagram or TikTok? That looks like an aerial drone view of Travis Scott concert. Dude, until the metaverse hits, where do they put it? They just keep it? Yeah. I don't get it. Who do they show it to they're stocking up they're just stocking up in preparation and fts are the toilet paper of the

online they're stocking up that's a good point yeah it's like toilet paper it's like people are buying it because they think they need it and then you're realizing nobody shits 17 times a day no you don't gotta stock up on toilet paper it caused it it's actually hilarious the number one thing people went to when when the pandemic happened first that they panicked about was toilet paper the first thing people thought was oh my god how am i gonna wipe my ass and you're not gonna need to wipe your ass because you're not even going outside i i think i only used one roll of toilet paper for one full year because i didn't even wipe my ass yeah i didn't have to and they passed the food market which you have to eat food to shit so like there was no thought of

logic there's no logic to it that's a great point this is like the toilet paper of the digital sphere it's like people are panicking going oh the world's gonna ending the dollar dollar's gonna crash uh you know my house nobody's gonna be able to come to my house because of diseases we're all gonna live in a metaverse let me just get my my house looking fly now by buying all the art up. People are prepping for the next stage, but they don't even know what that next stage is. And you know what's funny, dude? Maybe the toilet paper, it wasn't about shitting. Maybe it was like dudes going, I'm going to be home for a year straight.

I'm going to be jerking off a lot. And I'm going to need to be, I need something to clean up all the jizzle. Yeah. Maybe that's what it was. Yeah. Because women don what it was. Yeah. Because women don't use that much toilet paper. Women shit nice. They don't eat like we eat, so they shit nice.

They don't have like those Taco Bell shits. Clean cut. Clean cut. And they also, when they wipe, it's just, they take half of, you know, I'm fucking, I mean, I'll wipe, like, my diet is so horrible, like, I got to wipe into the next day. But I like that analogy. That is a good analogy. Thank you.

That kind of makes sense a little bit, Jesse, right? It's just people are creating the value of it based on a fear, based on a fear of what the future is going to be, a fear that the dollar is not sustainable. That's really what it is. Plus, there's a shitload of money out there. There's so much money in the system where did all this money come from they're printing it right

I guess they're printing it and that's why inflation's happening you heard it here on cash mommies I don't get it but Beto O'Rourke will lose in Texas and fix it all I mean how does this guy think he's got a chance to become governor of texas

especially after the virginia governor uh gubernatorial race and in texas i mean texas right now is going they're responding texas is actually trying to like they're this is what's it's a seesaw of extrem extremism now. So Texas to combat like the woke stuff is going far and saying, now you can only speak English. Like no other religion is allowed in school. They're like trying to ban some books. They're doing exactly what they were angry about that the other side was doing. It is just a seesaw of two fucking fat sides

who keep throwing the other one in the air and taking turns with their bullshit. Yeah. So, he's running for governor. He's gonna challenge Greg Abbott. Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't matter. I know he's gonna run.

I mean, the guy's like one of the worst candidates ever yeah he just is not it's not gonna happen beta he's gonna run against abbott again he's running against abbott he's gonna lose that race because abbott has wheels abbott's got wheels buddy yeah it's got wheels yeah so four years ago a little known Democratic congressman From El Paso named Beto O'Rourke He was the media darling for a second Then he stepped up and got smoked He ran for president

He ran for senate What else has he lost? I mean this is like the Hillary Clinton of Texas The kid just keeps coming dog He's stepping up for another loss He tried to shoot right escape I mean you know He tried to shoot right escape. I mean, you know, he tries to, like, he's very, he emotes a lot when he talks.

Like, he's a pretty good talker. He emotes a lot. So, like, people were trying to make him into, like, this Obama-type figure who could really speak. But he don't got it. You don't got the Obama charm, my friend. And I can't, there was a few things that kind of just like swept, took him out like Tonya Harding to him. Not like anyone was intending,

but like took his legs out. That just made him look horrible. And then that was it. I don't remember what it was, but just, it's not gonna happen. So he's run, I guess, for president and senator, and he's lost. And now he's gonna to run for governor.

Why not? Finish it out. The hat trick of losses for Beto O'Rourke. Go for it. What else are you doing? Yeah. So good luck to you, Beto O'Rourke. He looks like a mix of Ryan Reynolds and George Clooney.

He does. I mean, there he is, Beto. You can't be a governor of Texas with that neck. When I look at your neck, it needs to be thick, and i need to see that you have hypertension when you talk yeah dude i like my governor either being a wheelchair or fat you gotta look like some type of mutant in texas you've never been to texas but they look like i mean you know i've been to texas you've been to texas you've been to san antonio i'm not san antonio up in the fort worth dallas fort worth dallas yeah i mean texas you go to san antonio dude i can't believe that there's any sun that gets through and passes those people's shadows they're big big people they're they're

from Texas they fight COVID with freedom yeah someone says they have COVID you just blow at them you just blow back or you just shoot them and go no you don't you had COVID yeah he's a little too straight-laced for Texas right now in this climate, but it'll be fun to watch him. He's the Jets of Texas politics. He looks like a varsity basketball coach that knows his players aren't good enough to win, but he's going to keep on coaching them because he's going to keep them off the streets. He looks like the guy whose true story is played by Ben Affleck.

He's tall and ugly, and then they by Ben Affleck. He's like the uglier, he's tall and ugly, and then they put Ben Affleck in the story. Like when his story's made into a movie about the guy who lost the amount of races, they'll just have Ben Affleck play him. Guys, if you're into sports and you're into betting, you need all the tips you can get. I mean, you can listen to this podcast for all your tips. It's called The Daily Tip. It's presented by BetMGM. I also have a show on BetMGM, as you know. They give you the best betting analysis and information. It's called

The Daily Tip, okay? A lot can change between last night's game and today's odds. It's called the Daily Tip. A lot can change between last night's game and today's odds. It always fluctuates. The line's always moving. So the Daily Tip gives you an early look at all the angles. Shout outs to the hosts, Michael Jenkins and Chelsea Messenger. They break down the big takeaways to make sure you know everything you need to bet smarter. to make sure you know everything you need to bet smarter. They got featured guests like bookmakers, audacity insiders, and BetMGM experts. You've always got a fresh take on the action with these folks.

And your friends will always be wondering why you got that info and they don't, okay? So listen to the daily tip presented by BetMGM. So where can you listen? You listen weekdays, 6 a.m. to 9 a.m. Eastern on Audacity, Audacity, sorry, Spotify, Audacity, or your favorite podcast app. So check out the daily tip presented by BetMGM. Mental health is important, man. It's always important to keep up on your mental health and keep it in check at all times. Talking to somebody is always great. I go to therapy. I use Talkspace. I need you guys, if you're going through anything or you want to talk to somebody, to go to Talkspace. It's very easy, stigma-free. You don't have to go into any office.

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That's $100 off at Talkspace.com, promo code FUMES. Go talk to somebody right now and let talk space hook you up with a professional so you know i don't want to i just i don't know what to say about the kyle rittenhouse thing i tried to deflect it last week by saying i don't care the media won't let us not care about it you know i think the forecast in the future after trials like this, it's going to be like you're going to see newscasters go, it's going to be 52 outside with a chance of tear gas. I think riots are going to make their way into the forecast. They're going to be like, don't go outside.

Don't go outside. Pollution is at 76%. Humidity is at 47%. And 14% of riot. 14% a riot. 14% a riot. This is just, nothing encapsulates America right now more than the scenes outside of two courthouses. One was Britney Spears having her conservatorship revoked

where there was people out there celebrating like a serial killer who just got the death penalty after he absolutely haunted a region for like years. And then the other one is Kyle Rittenhouse, a 17-year-old fucking wild kid who rolled up with an AR-47, shot another couple of fucking honka-donks. And depending on which side of the aisle you fall on,

you see it differently. And for some reason, the whole country is watching this trial. CNN's making money all day long. I mean, this thing is everywhere, dog. But, you know, it's not just CNN. CNN's going like, you know, that side is going like,

he crossed state lines, he was carrying a gun, looking for trouble, and they're kind of ignoring that like riots were happening and people were born burning down businesses like that and then the other side the other side is is going it was self-defense clear self-defense um he was attacked by a couple of these kids who chased him and then shot them. And then the latest on this is the judge dismissed the illegal weapons charge or something, which, and people are saying the judge is suspect. It looks like he's like favoring Kyle Rittenhouse. I don't know enough about it, but some people

would say that he had some ringtone and somebody called his phone and it played like, I proudly stand up. You know that song? Yeah. Yeah. That was his ringtone. So there's a good chance he votes to the right. Yeah. So there's, that's a media narrative.

And now the last one is there's this drone footage, which I've seen, which is on the internet. Let's pull that up. The drone footage that the prosecution supposedly is being accused of hiding and the defense didn't have access to it and is now trying to ask for a mistrial because they didn't have this footage. Now I watch this footage. I'll give you my opinion. I'm going to take myself out of it and say, just based on the footage, I don't see how it's not 100% self-defense. Based on the laws in that region or whatever. I don't know if it was illegal for him to have that gun. I don't fucking know. But based on this one video.

I think in Wisconsin for 17-year-olds, you're not allowed to have an assault rifle. I believe that's the law. Okay. Yeah. So that, so then that's a... He was 17 at the time. He's 18 now. 17 at the time, so that should,

he should be guilty of that, right? Yeah. Okay, but let's watch the video. So this is, you guys tell me what you think, because I watched the video, and it's pointed out, like hopefully this is a video where they point out, where they circle who's who.

And, I mean, we've got to watch these fucking ads. I mean, New York Post, come on. What's going on? It's how they make their money. Shout out Alexander Hamilton. There's no place to click off this shit? You've got to sit through this whole ad. Oh, God, New York Post.

Yeah, the judge, he did have, like, his twang. When I listened to his voice, when I heard him speak, I was like, yeah, that guy listens to hootie in the blow he listens to hootie um the problem is like no matter what happens i feel like there's gonna be riots i feel like there was already violence outside of the courtroom i mean people are gathered outside of the courtroom like oh my god dude do people still have jobs why why has everyone got so much free time to hang out outside of the fucking courtroom and argue back and forth, back and forth, back and forth? But you know, I read up on the case. It does seem like self-defense.

The only thing that threw me off is he had his hat backwards. When white men have their hat backwards, it's no good. White men only have their hat backwards for one of three reasons. One, they're going to a game at Yankee Stadium. Two, they're at Jones Beach. Or or three they're tactically trying to kill people in the streets of of kenosha when a white man especially with a gun that's what marines do they put their hat backwards like in the movies when they're in plain clothes they put the hat backwards and they shoot that guy here it is this is the footage this is it so this is it

and i don't know if they help us yeah so you see you'll see in the top top go back go start from the beginning again so yeah they don't i'll show you where they are usually they have like i saw one where it was like circled but if you look in the gas station right like up where the lights are you'll see them start to run in that he's being chased right there i see yeah he turns around and points the gun but they keep chasing him and then this is the shot okay by the cars by the cars by the cars now you can't see him and that's the shot so basically what you see in it to to sum it up is he's being chased right he turns around kyle rittenhouse turns around points the gun at them

like as a threat yeah that's what it looks like he's like I got a gun stop chasing me they keep chasing he turns around keeps running and then when the guy gets close he turns he turns and shoots him

and apparently that guy had a gun that kid had a gun and he was pointing it at Kyle Rittenhouse I don't believe the first Rosenbaum didn't have a gun

the second guy had a skateboard the third guy had a pistol oh the third guy yeah so the first guy what did the first guy have I think the first guy tried to grab for his gun he said you try to grab for his gun he shot the second guy came over with a skateboard hit him with it defense himself he shot him and the third guy had a pistol had a pistol yeah i mean you know

facts of the case by the law yeah you're saying like that's a very good case for self-defense yeah all three of them passed away, but all three of them— No, two of them passed away, right? Yeah, two of them passed away. The third one was wounded, but all their mothers have a great tuna casserole recipe. They got a great tuna casserole recipe. Yeah. So, I mean, that's all I'm going to say on Kyle Rittenhouse.

I'm just like, you know, I mean, let's see what the chat's saying. Well, you know, Charlie Stevens 13 says, Biden runs Google in his sleep. So, you know, we only the best in the chat. And then we got Uncle Paulie's, we take Bitcoin, but if you show me your cans, the sandwich is free. They're just doing Uncle Paulie stuff. Uncle Paulie, good thing Uncle Paulie wasn't there

to whack him with a hoagie. Omar is wild Yanni I followed Jared Harvin to your studio opened the door we got business to discuss aka this FF with the two star review leave him alone Omar

he erased it I'm a Yanni boy and I'm just trying to make it however the case goes it's all Yanni from the he on he write about the hat thing if the hat is backwards we go 100 to 0 real fucking quick yeah yeah yeah zuck has the metaverse metaverse we have the fedaverse so you're now watching the fedaverse does anyone have an opinion on

kyle rittenhouse or are we just going to talk about Uncle Paulies until the cows come home? Oh, they lost alcohol. What about Kyle's mom? Yeah, she's like a nut, right? She drove him from Illinois into Wisconsin to protect the property. Here's a funny one.

Free Kyle, he just had too much sugar. Oh, they got no audio again. Oh, Christ. I mean, you know, I'm telling you, I don't know what it is. I think your brother's trying to sabotage you. I think my brother's trying to fucking sabotage. I'm going to go right back to the live. I keep losing and let them repopulate.

That's his mother. Or as I like to call her, little, uh, she looks like, what was her name? Little Boo Boo? What was that name? Honey Boo Boo. She looks like Honey Boo Boo grew up. Yeah. I mean, dog, look at his mom.

She looks like Little Debbie if she ate too many oatmeal pies. Yeah, I mean, dog. Isn't that the Catch Me If You Can girl behind? No, no, that's not her. Oh, it looks like her though, right? Catch Me If You Can, how about that? No, she would have box praise if that was her. Yeah.

Oh, man. Kyle her though, right? Catch me if you can. How about that? She would have box praise if that was her. Yeah. Oh, man. Kyle Rittenhouse. What's up, cuz? We're talking about Kyle Rittenhouse. I want an opinion on Kyle Rittenhouse, so just write one. Now let's get to this old Dominion professor, which is very interesting. Uncle Paul, he's just paid with cash, you fruit. Yanni, we here for you fam

thank you said my special's good my special is now available blowing the light baby blowing the light is now available on Apple TV Amazon and a whole bunch of other stuff there's a landing page that has all the links so just google it

google play it's available on a lot of places so go check it out and watch it also go to yannispappascomedy.com for tickets I will be at Uncle Vinny's the weekend of December 4th I think the 2nd to the 4th

that's in New Jersey so get your tickets for that and there's also a ton of other dates up there right now yannispappascomedy.com I'll read them off at the end patreon.com slash yanni long days go get your bonus episodes

new sandwich at Pauly is called the Kyle the specialist killer Yanni it's pound for pound one of the best you'll watch Kyle wins and the north wins uh your special was hilarious okay not my special let's talk about kyle rittenhouse real quick about the special did you have a snoozing for that special because your mouth was moving left and right i wasn't doing snooze then okay so there's this odu kyle crying made my wee wee cry um when are you coming to

indiana it's not the top of the list um yeah sign up for the patreons it's worth it listen to this guy okay so this is this odu professor who's a trans man i love the way he changed his name i think from allison to allen spell a l-l-y-n And this was found by a account which I follow, which is really funny, called Libs of TikTok, where they find these like crazy, like progressive videos. So they found this video and they posted it and it went viral. This is a professor at ODU who's writing a book on what he wants pedophiles to be called to remove the stigma of pedophiles. Let's listen to it real quick.

And he's got one of those voices. We represent the lollipop kids. I mean, we gotta fucking, we gotta start pre-planning. I gotta pre-plan these things so we don't gotta sit through conversion. This is a really fucking Franks and Beans operation we're running here. Oh, this is funny.

Kyle's cry is now an NFT. So that's all you need to know about NFTs, how bullshit they are. Someone made his cry. The funniest one I saw was when they took his crying photo and they put him on that internet show where people eat the hot sauce. Yeah. That was hilarious. eat the hot sauce. Yeah. That was hilarious. Hot ones, yeah.

Yeah. That guy was shaking like he was going through a voodoo. Okay, we got all types in this chat because someone just says, Rittenhouse's mom is a true patriot. My friend has been on 4chan since 07 and has never tried to,

never had a job. You should do an interview with him. I actually would like to. I actually would like to do an interview with him. I actually would like to. I actually would like to do an interview with someone who's been on 4chan all those years without a source of income as a profile for the people who are on 4chan. Okay, here we go.

This is this ODB professor. ODB, old dirty bastard professor. She works at Old Dirty Bastard. Or he, I'm sorry, he. I'm a nutus, I'm a nutus, I'm a nutus. I'm a nutus. Allian. All black female newscasters have that short haircut, and I like it. Shout out to Sade Better and Wah.

That one is fine, son. Yeah, they all look like Holly Berry in the movie Boomerang. Yeah. Yeah. Or Monster's Ball. Yeah. All right, let's check it out. So here's what it is, guys.

Has been placed on administrative leave after making comments about pedophilia in an interview with the protege foundation dr alan walker argued for the use of the term minor attracted people or maps to describe people who are attracted to kids instead of the word pedophile they argue the term maps is less stigmatizing since not everyone who is attracted to children will abuse them walker stressed that child sexual abuse is never okay and that their goal is to find ways to prevent well i'm glad she i'm glad she draws the line there i'm glad she draws the line that you know it's not at least she's saying it's not good to rape kids so you give her a shout out for that you know uh talk about stating the obvious now Now, here's my thing about this.

In this world we live in now where everyone's trying to rename everything from Latin to Latinx, from pedophile to, you know, minor attracted person from retarded to special needs. I have a brother who's that. So don't even fucking come after me. It always ends up just being a semantic, you know, do about nothing. Because people who still want to use the word pejoratively will use the word pejoratively. Now special needs is used like retarded used to be when people are trying to be assholes with it. So what's the difference? It just proves that it's always the emotion behind the word that matters not the word okay you can change

the words till the cows come home they're still going to come up with new words to call bad people are going to be bad dumb kids are going to be dumb kids it's like it's all about the context in which you use it what is wrong with pedophile what is wrong with saying some pedophiles don't rape kids why do i have to say some minor attracted because you're going oh pedophile comes with this bad connotation you guess guess what else comes with a bad connotation minor attracted people it's the same fucking thing yeah it's the same thing it's like the difference between going to the crib and house you're coming to my crib or you're coming to my house it's the same fucking thing and some things shouldn't have the stigma removed sociopath what are we going to rename those to uh manipulative people who don't want to do good

uh what are we going to change psychopaths to someone who dreams about eating your liver but doesn't so we're not going to call him a psychopath just because he doesn't eat my liver he's still a psychopath so what what does it matter some things deserve a stigma for the safety of society so you can identify hey i don't want to go to lunch with this guy because i'm going to be talking to him about the kyle rittenhouse case and he's going to be dreaming about eating my fucking liver. I don't need a less harsh name to call him. In fact, we should come up with harsher names for those people. Pedophile might not be enough.

We should just call them, shoot this guy. We should just call, this one's broken. How about return to sender? And by sender, I mean hell where he was made or china or china where usually they make cheap shit i mean this is the type of like mental masturbation that happens in liberal arts where this guy with an asterisk yeah Yeah. This man. This looks like Joe DeRosa's little brother. Yeah. Looks like

Elliot Page's poker buddy. Looks like he and Elliot Page just play poker together. Is writing a book on doing changing pedophile to minor

attractive person. Now this just gives the right fodder because they go you see you see what they're going to do? It starts with gays. Then it's like, you can't do the, you can't call me, call me whatever. And then now they're going to change to make it less of a stigma to call

someone a pedophile. We're now being asked to sympathize with people. This is the utopian type of perspective that starts to creep in and become dangerous because these people want to believe that the world should be this beautiful place where everyone is sympathized with and everyone is equal. That's just not nature. That's not the way nature is programmed

by the simulators or by the aliens or whatever it is. God, whatever. That's obviously not how it works. Watch one nature program. It's not how it works. It's not a perfect world. I don't have to see a pedophile's perspective. I can just know he's a pedophile.

And even if he doesn't rape kids,'m still not gonna ask him to babysit and i'm not gonna be i shouldn't be considered a discriminatory person i shouldn't be considered someone who discriminates as in a negative way i'm discriminating and that discrimination is warranted i mean this is crazy dude this is what the world's come to now so this guy was put on administrative leave oh oh old dominion university issued a statement saying that like they don't condone they were kind of almost kind of half supporting him which is crazy going like uh you know we for his own safety part of it

was for his own safety because he received so many threats and horrible comments online so again they made the people reacting to this the bad guys and i'm sure some of them didn't do it with tact i'm sure there's a lot of comments in there that weren't tactful yeah yeah but still Still, still to excuse in any way an effort to apply less stigma to someone whose orientation is to be with kids. Now, I know what you mean. Like, that's just his orientation, that he didn't do the act. Well, we've all watched to catch a predator okay and all those guys go to jail before they did anything either okay all they did was bite a cookie and look surprised but they still go to jail why because we know what their intent is

so pedophiles i'm sorry it's a flaw in nature i don't know what happens but these people want to fuck kids what goes along with that is always manipulating kids and doing nefarious things to be because you can't just walk up to a kid and fuck a kid yep you have to lie it's very premeditated and if we're not going to protect our children what are we going to do i mean this is getting to the point now where it's a parody, man. It's an absolute parody. Omar says, open the door, Yanni, I'm here.

Rittenhouse's mom has fumes. Rittenhouse's mom checks 4chan to see updates of her son's trial. It's a good one. Scratch Jewel says, I'm a minor attractive person. Nate Linder,

Protasia Foundation sounds like a pedo ring. Rotten House will go down, Rittenhouse will go down in history like Jack Ruby. Next thing you know, there's gonna be a Rittenhouse Cafe coming to a Midwest town near you. It's going to be like Area 51. Yeah, they'll just put an X on the ground like they do in Dallas

for where JFK got killed. That's the tourist site. They'll do that in, where is it, Wisconsin, where they'll just put an X. They'll put a couple of Xs and then a skateboard in a case. Okay, this is not good, but Scratch Jewels says, raping kids sucks, they cry a lot.

Not good. I shouldn't have read that one. Rittenhouse will never need to work again either. Have him on with the 4chan bun. Someone called me political pappas. Can I sue the Catholic Church? Mark Palmieri just jumped into the building. There you go.

Yes, you can. Depending on what they did to you, yes. And I assume you're asking because you got got. I assume you got got. Yanni looks like a watered down version of John Wick

I like whatever Joey Diaz says about it why don't they just call them chummos the word put the C in front of yeah I get it

what's the deal is with your Lego head okay these are good see they're doing okay without you Jared yeah what do you call a dude I get it. What's the deal is with your Lego head? Okay, these are good. See, they're doing okay without you, Jared. Yeah. What do you call a dude that wears a dress that bangs out other dudes? Still an agate?

Okay, I shouldn't have read that one. Call them pedo X, like Latin X. Put them in chomo rehab. Yanni calling out his own comments as untactful. Good point. Bite a cookie and look surprised. Someone thought that was very funny. Okay, so that's all there really is to say about that.

Now let's talk about the biggest news in the country, Michael Che versus Tim Dillon. Yeah. Which I got in on. Jared's here. So yeah, obviously Michael Che yeah which i got in on jared's here so yeah obviously michael che is uh one of the head writers of snl which when i criticized snl i will be completely honest with you when i tweeted the things that i tweeted about snl when me and michael che got into it i didn't even know he was the

head writer that's how little i pay attention to SNL. That's how little you communicate with one of your friends in comedy. Yeah, and that's how little me and Michael Che communicate because he won't respond to a text ever. So I didn't know that he got promoted because I just don't pay attention to SNL at all. Occasionally, you see a sketch come across the internet. You watch it.

Some of them are good. Some of them are bad. I think the funniest thing that they did last year was on the last episode where michael che and kate and colin jost pimped each other out where they wrote things that the other one had to say yeah they do that for christmas and for the last episode every year it was very funny yeah that was very funny other than that and i understand it's a hard show man you're doing it live You're trying to write sketches for someone who just came in. It's usually some celebrity who has no comedic chops.

And it's live. And it's tough. And I get it. And Michael Che is a very funny guy. But, you know, Michael Che, you know, I posted a meme or whatever you want to call it, a GIF on my Twitter of Jim Carrey in Animal. What's the movie? Ace Ventura. Ace Ventura, when he discovers that it's the same person, when he's going, Icon.

So I posted and I went, Che is SNL. SNL is Che. Che is SNL. Because he really takes SNL criticism personally. Nobody ever says anything about Michael Che personally who's in comedy. And let's be honest. Tim Dillon and Giannis Pappas

are not the only two people who say bad things about SNL. I mean, it's pretty, it happens a lot. And a lot of people in comedy joke about SNL all the time. And they rag on SNL. I mean, it's pretty, it happens a lot. And a lot of people in comedy joke about SNL all the time and they rag on SNL. Yeah, but they're never going to admit it

because they want them to accept their packets. They'd love to get their, they'd take a job there in a second. I wouldn't. I would never want to work there. Never?

Never. I would never want to work there. Just to see what the bathroom's like at the Rockefeller Center? You would never do that? I'd go in there, but I would never want to work at SNL, no. so uh so tim dillard posted about how it was lazy writing the sketch with uh about joe

rogan which was a bad sketch it just kind of stank and um you know i guess tim was defending joe too right because like they were saying joe was taking horse pace as the joke or whatever he's also friends with joe so he's defending his boy and calling the show, and he called the show shit. He said it wasn't always shit. I'm just summarizing because we don't got to read all of them. He said it wasn't always shit. It wasn't just good in the 70s.

It had all these good years. He was basically saying everything was good except for now, which is where Michael Che is on the show. Yeah. Right? He did a lot of tweets about it. Tim Dillon had like four or five tweets about it, right? Where he talked about SNL.

Somebody showed it to Michael Che or I don't know. I don't know how he found my comment when I was talking about SNL. And then Che clapped back. And Che, like he did with me, he went personal. Whereas like Tim didn't mention Che. Now, what did he say about you? What he said about me was I had messaged him like, and he was at Caroline's.

Yeah. He was at Caroline's. And I was like, hey man, if you need like someone to open or host, I was just looking, I wanted to work on stuff. And I also want to hang out with Che. I want to be, I always want to be friends with Che because I always enjoyed talking to Che. And he's very funny. And you know, I went to his house once and I also want to hang out with Che. I always want to be friends with Che because I always enjoy talking to Che

and he's very funny. And I went to his house once and I asked, I was like, yo, can I come over and watch the fight? When I went over to watch the McGregor-Nate Diaz fight, the second one, and I went over to this bunch of comics there, we hung out. I like Che.

I know Che from when he started. And so that's what I clap back with. So I love Che. As far, as far as comedy goes. I respect him, you know, a lot. He's a very funny dude. I mean, like I said, like him and DeStefano had like, were funny immediately, you know? And Che is also very smart

and his jokes are also very good. Yeah, he is. So I was cracking on SNL and I was talking cracking on SNL. I was basically doing it when i when me and him had the beef i was doing it under the context of tv versus the internet and it was the time where andrew schultz was doing those um turn your phone things yeah which the ones on the internet were really good yeah those were really good he wrote them with like

two people and they were good and i was saying like i was knocking on you know corporate sponsored television and like kind of the the restrictions that they have being like this on the internet is so much better than this and the daily show so i even included the daily show yeah i wasn't even specifying snl i said the daily show and snl this is better than that, right? As an observer, Michael Che screenshotted my diss on SNL and then went into his private DMs or his text messages. I'm sure it was a text message. And he posted what I wrote like, hey, I'd love to do a spot on your Caroline show.

And he wrote same guy, right? So basically saying like, oh, this is the same guy who's like loving me. And it's like, dude, I wasn't talking about you when i was talking about snl first of all second of all you're going personal so then i went back into my dms and i found uh him messaging me about how great a comic i was and how much he looked up to me as a comic yeah and i posted that and but then because i'm you know i'm not a fucking petty, I erased it, right? So some people saw it, some people didn't.

But that was it. And then it was over. And then he wanted me to be on his show. And he gave me a role on his show. And I couldn't do it because I got COVID. So that was the whole thing. Chris did it without me. And that's fine.

But I had COVID. So I missed it. Yeah. That theme seems to be running true today still. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I may have COVID again.

Yeah. So that was my thing with Che. But, you know, yeah, I figured he didn't remember it because he might have been drunk. So it didn't matter. I don't care either. I don't care either. And, you know, I don't think he cares. And we kind of moved on.

And then he went on Bobby Kelly's show. He went on Bobby Kelly's show, and they wanted me to come on too. But I was having, and what's, Keith was on there. So it was Keith and Bobby and Che and they wanted me to come on

and for me to Che to talk it out. And I had, it was my, that was the day I was having my gender reveal party. So I couldn't,

I couldn't make it. So I went on Bobby's after Che's, talked it out, said all that stuff. I love Che personally. It wasn't an attack on Che. I thought it was a little

petty of him to go personal and post a dm like a private dm i wouldn't have done that he did it i did it back because he did it that's the reason i did it i responded and no big deal and then i made bobby laugh because he said something i was like i was like yeah because like you know because comics are always talking about how great snl is. I mean, give me a fucking break. I'm the only one who said it out loud, but everyone fucking says it, right? So Che takes it personally. I guess he's the head writer. He's partly, you know, he's institutionalized.

Yeah. He gets his paycheck from SNL. Yeah. So it is what it is. He's got to be defensive because the kid likes shoes, all right? So if you're getting away with his paycheck and his shoes, he's going to come after you. He's going to come after you. Yeah.

So he takes it very personally. Same thing happened here. The anatomy is exactly the same. Tim was, you know, as far as the anatomy was doing what I was doing, was criticizing SNL. He did the same thing. He screenshotted Tim's thing and he wrote, and we can read this part. He wrote, everyone probably knows this by now who listens to podcasts but he goes

he goes Tim fucking Dylan question mark and a fan posted he makes 190k a month on Patreon which is fucking nuts yeah and Che screenshotted that and said I don't care if it's a zillion I know Tim

Dylan and he ain't what you think he is. He's a sweet, humble guy, which that is not true. That is not true. He who really tried at standup got nowhere. Again, that's not true. Became a media personality, whatever that means, because it's much easier and we're all very happy for him, but don't get fresh tips. So he went hard saying he's failed at standup and he's a media personality and also doing

this thing that like this lofty claim, oh, standup is like the height of, just give it up, dude. We don't have a monopoly on funny anymore. Anyone who has a phone can do something funny. I've seen very many funny people who do not do stand-up stand-up is not the be-all end-all of being funny anymore i understand you're on a fucking old institution that uh comes with some gravitas but you know things fucking change the only reason why people shouldn't make fun of SNL is because it's elder abuse.

Okay, you're punching down and you're hitting an old person. What is it, 50 years old at this point? I give them credit for even still being able to be on air and compete with the internet that puts sketches out all the time. Now, this isn't true. Tim Dillon is not known as a media personality. He's known by fans of comedy as a comedian. And not just from his podcast, which I guess you're claiming as a media personality because basically he puts up sketches that gets millions of views all the fucking time. Yeah. And he does stand up and he's been doing stand up for like 12 or 13 years and he's very funny.

He's funny when he's on stage. You've seen him do stand up, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Was it funny? Definitely. So that's stand up. He's funny. He's funny when he's on stage. You've seen him do stand-up, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Was it funny? Definitely. So that's stand-up.

He's funny. I mean, he's kind of almost objectively funny. He's a funny dude. Che is also a funny stand-up. Yeah. Okay? So Che got defensive and took this swing. And none of it's true.

And media personality, I don't know what that means because Che is not known from his standup either, which is what is so hypocritical about this. Nobody knows Michael Che as a standup. I mean, they know him from SNL. You know what I mean? They know him from maybe one clip, that Black Lives Matter clip on his first special, which was really good.

But he's known from SNL. He doesn't sell tickets like Tim. They know him as maybe one clip, that Black Lives Matter clip on his first special, which was really good. But he's known from SNL. He doesn't sell tickets like Tim. They know him as a comedian, though. They know him as a comedian. And everyone knows Tim as a comedian. Everyone knows Tim as a comedian. Nobody goes to his podcast going, let me hear. They don't go, I want to hear the young Anderson Cooper.

Nobody's going to get the news from Tim. They're going to get comedy. There's not one person who's heard of Tim Dillon who doesn't know he's a comedian. Okay? And I think most people who know Michael Che aren't comedy fans. They know him from SNL. He's known from the show.

My point is he's not known from his standup, which is what Michael Che said here. He's like, who really tried stand-up and got nowhere became a media personality so it's like michael chay did you get somewhere with your stand-up you know who's known from stand-up nate bargazzi because he was got known from his special uh the italian kid what's his name what sebastian maniscalco is known from his stand-up wasn't known for a show he wasn't known from a podcast he was known from his stand-up he wasn't known for a show he wasn't known from a podcast he was known from his stand-up

specifically so neither one of these guys blew up because of their stand-up they're known from their shows one's SNL

one's an independent show that's basically what it is so that's just a real that's a real inaccurate and hostile

dick and it's not true none of it's true if Michael Che was known from his stand-up he'd be able to sell out the Stress Factory and hostile dick. And it's not true. None of it's true. If Michael Che was known from his standup, he'd be able to sell out the Stress Factory. But I know for a fact that he didn't. So it's like he's a very funny standup,

but people know him from SNL, okay? Tim Dillon, when people go see him perform, they're not going to see him fucking, you know, do a presentation. They're going to watch him do stand-up. We're all stand-ups. We all came up together. But I understand he was getting offensive. He threw some shots.

Maybe he was promoting his special. That's the conspiracy theory that Jared has. I think Schultz has that too, right? Yeah, no, I think it is. Can you scroll down, Jesse, on the picture? On this one? Yeah. Just open it. He said, but don't get fresh, Tim.

No one talks like that. No 38-year-old man. The amount of Jordans. He dresses younger than me. He does not talk like that. I think, Shay, this was like, like you said, he's smart. He's calculated. He has a special coming out.

He definitely did this. Or Schultz called him at 5 o'clock in the morning when he saw the tweet and said, do it. And he's like, don't give me any credit, but I will talk about this on Flavor too. So that's exactly what happened. It lines up too perfectly. But if you really want to get to the semantics of it, they're both media personalities. People do know Michael Che from Weekend Update, which you talk about media, it's the same thing. You have a news outlet.

And then Tim Dillon goes off on the news and has perspective. So they're both in that same regard. Like you said, they're both coming up as stand-ups you know my only question is do you think that uh tim dylan meant to tweet out everything he said about michael che or do you think he had some spelling mistakes from the grease on his fingers because he'd be eating the donut it's a little bit of both yeah now let's go to what uh tim dylan says in response so tim dylan yeah tim dylan. He goes, here's the reality. I sell more tickets than Michael Che ever has. I don't think he's allowed to use this website per his job, which is true. He's not allowed. So he was taking a shot like, Hey, you're an employee. Yeah. Which is true.

Michael Che got removed from Twitter because Lauren said, you can't tweet anymore. You can't have your own thoughts out there anymore. And I've built something on my own that he could never do. We don't know that. But so far, it's not happened. Che has done well for a drunk who can barely read. But his show sucks and he knows it.

And what show was he referring to? SNL. Okay, yeah. So, because that's the context of this argument. And that was it. And what show was he referring to? SNL. Okay, yeah. So, because that's the context of this argument. And that was it. And then he just wrote a joke, me versus Michael Che. And I never say the kid's name. And this little kid who reports on comedy is having a stroke.

And that was it. And then he moved on. And that was it. And then Che responded, all fair points. So maybe that, he was promoting the special. Because he's like, okay, job is done. He goes, all fair points. I don't want no trouble.

He's creating hoopla but then he came back and he took another shot and he said remember my special comes out remember we live in a country where all things are possible Donald Trump was the president

and Tim Dillon is a star that's another shot that's another shot at him and then I think Tim Dillon went on Louis J Gomez's podcast and said hey you had Donald Trump

on your show and also he embraced the media personality thing which I mean this is all just semantics so those were the shots that were fired and said, hey, you had Donald Trump on your show. And also he embraced the media personality thing, which I mean, this is all just semantics. So those were the shots that were fired. And that's what happened. And I don't think Michael Che was promoting the special gist.

It might've been in part, that might've been part of his thinking, but I think he takes it very personally. I think he defendsl and he he ties his identity to snl i think he i he identifies when whatever show i was on i didn't do that i didn't take it like my shows were all shit like fusion that show sucked um but even if there was if it was good and sometimes good like snl is or like a 10th, I still would never tie my identity to the show. You know, I would like, especially if I'm not performing in it.

And from what I understand, he didn't even write that from what I heard. Yeah. That's kind of the thing. So he, I think he, because this happened with me too. So I think he just ties his identity to SNL and and uh that's what it is he's smart all right he's smart because we're talking about it we're talking about it right now we're getting down to it you know it when you even talk about it like he's not going to be able to have them have 190 000 uh dollars worth of patreon because he's in a confinement of nbc so he's never going to be able to do that the only time the only if we can really see how it is if someone comes after that damn Michael Che and then like says

things about the show then we can really see if this is the true thing but like I don't know I just think it's on his play he's just promoting and he's just going out there it's like it's like the kid that's always in detention and he goes out to recess for one time and then he like throws sands in people's pants and stuff like that he's just having too much fun because he doesn't really get to experience this like on this on a daily basis. Right, right. He's getting into the fun a little bit. Look, I'm for it.

It's probably been good for both of them. We're comedians. We should take shots at each other. Yeah, it's fun. It's fun. It's kind of like— And if they were really about that action, they would hit up Jake Paul so they can get on the card because they can really make some money then. It's drama.

People love drama. The truth is they're both very funny. Yeah. And so check them both out. You already know who both of them are. So that's the end of that. Now, let's finish with my favorite story, the Sesame Street story. They finally have a, you know, people were clamoring.

All the kids were clamoring. All the kids that watched Sesame Street were clamoring. And all those kids said, you know what? We need an Asian character on Sesame Street. So Sesame Street obliged. And they finally put an Asian puppet on there. Now here's the deal. The only problem with that Asian puppet is she looks anything but Asian. And I'll tell you why. Because they're scared to make her look Asian. See, if they make her look Asian, they know. That looks like Melissa Villasenor.

I mean, yeah. I mean, that looks like either Puerto Rican or it looks like Sarah Silverman. Yeah. It does not look Asian. That does not look like an Asian. Now, granted, I understand their struggle. Yeah. Because imagine you had to make an Asian puppet.

Like, how would you make the Asian puppet without making it so it becomes fodder for racists? It's like impossible. You can't do the accent and you can't make it look Asian. The only thing you can do is put a cigarette in its mouth and have its legs squatted. All you can do is make it sit down when it eats in a catcher position. Yeah. Yeah. So this is the Asian.

That's the funniest thing. I mean, dude, if they didn't tell you that that was Asian and you know the voice is just going to be American like, hi, my name is the Asian. That's the funniest. I mean, dude, if they didn't tell you that that was Asian, and you know the voice is just going to be American, like, hi, my name is. Yeah. And what's her name? The puppet's name is Ji Young, which only makes me assume,

because I like to be accurate. If I saw that puppet, I would say, oh, okay. This is a white baby that was adopted by Chinese millionaires. Yeah. And they named her Ji Young. Yeah. I mean, that baby fucking looks not Chinese. Yeah.

I mean, that sounds like a new character on Street Fighter. I can't even say, yeah, Ji Young. I can't even say why the puppet doesn't look Chinese without sounding racist. Yeah. I can't say the truth. So let's try to dance around it. Why do you guys think that puppet doesn't look Asian? Is it because the hair?

First of all, the hair being black, that's racist. What if they wanted to have blonde hair? You know? Yeah. You know how so many Asians have blonde hair. Isn't it funny that there's not one Asian who doesn to have blonde hair? Yeah. You know? Yeah. You know how so many Asians have blonde hair. Isn't it funny that there's not one Asian who doesn't have black hair? I think you can even find some black people who have brownish hair. Yeah.

Asians, it's jet black, dog. I'm talking jet black. Yeah. When you're dealing with an Asian, it's black. Definitely black. Black hair. The color of their hair is the the same color as the people as they admire yeah yes that's how i know the puppet is an asian because it

doesn't have a travis scott t-shirt on that's right yeah that's one good thing those are some kids that love black apparel they do yeah especially the japanese but this one particularly is Chinese. I can't tell she's Asian. I can't tell she's Chinese because I think the nose looks too – I mean I can't tell she's Asian because her cheeks. The cheeks are a little too full. I can't tell she's Asian because she doesn't have an umbrella and she's not standing in the sunshine. I can't tell she's Asian because she doesn't have an umbrella and she's not standing in the sunshine. I can't tell she's Asian because her forehead. I'm trying to figure out what it is. What's the reason I can't tell she's Asian?

I can't put my finger on it. I can't tell she's Asian because I'm not sure if her GPA is above a 4.0. Yeah, I got to be able to see her GPA. I got to see whether Harvard didn't allow her to get in because she got too high of a score. Yeah, where's her doctorate yeah i gotta i can't tell jesse what do you can you tell she's a what is it is it their arm is it the feet it's tough to tell because the one thing i can tell from the eyes that's the only thing that makes me think that she might be as Asian is those round eyes they gave her. If she's Asian, what the hell is Bert?

Is he Dominican? Yeah. Dude, I think Bert has food poisoning. Yeah. Well, we know he's gay. Bert's from Florida. Yeah, he may be from Florida, and he may be related to Donald Trump. The kid's orange.

Yeah. Yeah, he may be from Florida, and he may be related to Donald Trump. The kid's orange. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't really know that puppets had—what's Big Bird? I don't know. I mean, because Big Bird's yellow. So if they come out and say he's Asian, that's racist. Bert looks like every Dominican uncle at Christmas. All you need is some cojito in his hand, and that's it.

That's all you need. So there it is. There's's your asian representative on sesame street i mean sesame street's already asian it's sesame it's it's already sesame street yeah it's already asian yeah uh peter warner said they also have a jet black bush yeah someone says brendan shob is known for his stand-up top five maybe four uh coffee and cats welcome back says i can't tell she's asian because she's not a little i'm not gonna read that one black hair comes from that gangas con dna baby prepare for trouble and making double i can't read that those asian pornos always giant bush or not a hair right i can't and we're not doing this this is wild i this is like a minefield on here this is the

only time i'm not reading comments because i'm looking at them when i leave the group chat i it goes wild yeah when i comment i want to make sure that my comments won't get me kicked off snl one day because i do want to go on yeah here, here's a good one from Skeezy O. He says, I heard the Asian puppet owned a massage parlor that moved into the neighborhood. Yeah, that's, I actually can't tell

if that puppet is Asian because I'm not sure if Deshaun Washington touched it or not. And Peter Warner keeps going, why is Asian porn filled with Bush? He's asked it four times now.

You know, I think we need to get a professional in here to see if it's an Asian puppet. Someone get Shane Gillis on the phone. Oh, God. Yeah. Okay.

So, Asian porn. Peter Warner again. Asian porn is either giant bush or looks like a 12-year-old. Peter Warner is really focused on the Asian porn. Yeah. You can call her Asian because she owns a nail salon in Sesame Chicken, and I mean Sesame Street. Okay. Not great. Yeah. Okay, not great. Okay, that was a good one.

That's a good one. Okay, so that's how we know she's Asian because every single puppet's gonna be manicured. All right, Freddy Fettucese. Okay, so great job sesame street for finally uh adding an asian uh girl to the cast with burt ernie big bird and oscar the grouts and shout out to uh shout out to my girl what's her name michelle chen i think it's michelle chen it's not because i'm rude it's like I love her we totally DM and everything um she's like a writer a journalist and uh she's she always talks about the CCP

she's Chinese and she she pointed out that they've added during the AIDS epidemic they added characters who had HIV now they've added an puppet, but Oscar is still living in trash. Nobody's had the decency to pull him out of poverty. So shout out to Michelle Chen for that great joke. They're just going to leave Oscar in the trash. You know, the guy, the guy,

can we, can we, can we get this guy at least in an SRO? I mean, he's homeless and he lives in a trash can. Give him one of the tents from Austin. And I mean, what the fuck is Elmo?

Is, what is Elmo? He's blue dog. What race mean, what the fuck is Elmo? What is Elmo? He's blue, dog. What race is that? Do you mean red? No, Elmo's blue. Oh, no. Who's that?

That's Grover. Grover and Elmo. I don't know. Sujat says, why did they add an Asian character? They already have two yellow ones? Okay, I'm going to stop reading this now. That was a mistake. Yeah.

That was a mistake. Yeah. I didn't say that. That came from somebody in my chat. Yeah. Someone says, Oscar is a deplorable and voted for Trump.

Someone says, Gonzo is blue. Gonzo is also blue. And I love that they gave her, this puppet, a real name, whereas the rest of them were like Elmo, Gonzo, Big Bird, and then you're going, and Ting Li. Oscar the Grouch and Stu Li. Now they just need a

if they're gonna have Asian dog I want every we gotta be all in there I want a Greek I want an Italian I want one named Vinny I want a Greek named Dimitri

I want a Puerto Rican named Carlos yeah I want you to get specific with the Asians I want a Thai I want a Vietnamese I want non-binary

I want transgender I want non-binary I want trans I want everything I want a Vietnamese I want non-binary I want transgender I want non-binary I want trans I want everything I want wasp and you gotta give me a Jew and that nose better be small so that way I can tell what it is

and when I ask them for financial advice they tell me to go to TurboTax they go to TurboTax yeah alright it's been long days patreon.com

slash Yanni Long Days I just gotta read this one cause it's funny Grimace in Pain says somebody please get Oscar the Grouch

an EBT card so we'll leave it there everybody I wanna tell you about my tour dates right the hell now. Check this out, and there's more coming as well. So December 3rd and 4th, I will be at Uncle Vinny's in Point Pleasant, New Jersey. December 16th through the 18th in Uncastville, Connecticut. You know,

comics. And Mohegan Sun. I'll be at Mohegan Sun at Comics December 16th through the 18th so those are my two road dates in December January I will be in Plano, Texas from the 6th to the 8th at the House of Comedy January 20th to the 22nd

I'll be in San Diego at American Comedy Company February 10th I'll be at SideSplitters in Tampa for one show get your tickets that was rescheduled

I'll be in Edmonton in Canada. The comic strip, 17th to the 19th of February. The comic strip in New Westminster, British Columbia, February 24th to the 26th. House of Comedy in Bloomington, Minnesota, March 3rd to the 5th. And LOL Comedy Club, San Antonio, Texas, March 24th to the 26th. That was rescheduled. march 24th to the 26th that was rescheduled so get your tickets and uh this was also rescheduled phoenix arizona house of comedy april 14th to april 16th and more dates coming jared harvin will be with me at some of those dates so get your tickets

online patreon.com slash yanni long days for bonus episodes please join we need you to join baby and now let's get to some patreon shout outs all right small business shout outs let's give a shout out to nate linder nate linder.com he will help you get your social media to the next level it builds websites runs digital advertising campaigns uh consulting services to businesses starting at 100 bucks an hour so the guy will help you get to the next level if you have an online business, natelinder.com. Z-Jama Realty. Anything you're looking for in Brooklyn, give them a call.

Z-JamaRealty.com. Check them out there. They will find you a place, business, whatever it is, anything in New York, hit up Z-Jama. Then hit up Grant Trower if you're in the South Florida area. Go to granttrower.theatlanticrealtygroup.com. Hit him up 954-591-6465. And any real estate need you have in South Florida, hit up Grant Trower. estate need you have in South Florida, hit up Grant Trower. Chris Minetti, Minetti Financial Services in the South Jersey area. Hit him up. Hit him up. He'll fucking cash whatever paper you got.

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Our boy Robby. Rob'sMentalPlayground.com. I still get the 15% off, 20% off, and 25% off holiday apparel, prints, or paintings. Go to Rob's Mental Playground and buy a piece of art from our boy Rob. Do it. Jared Z, ExclusiveAutoShipping.com. If you're moving your wheels anywhere in the country, including Alaska, Puerto Rico, Hawaii, anywhere in the world even, get your free quote from ExclusiveAutoShipping.com Jared Z from the Stinkbox, Tallahassee Looking for that hairy Yanni P To make me a cuzzy

We appreciate you guys Thank you so much Go support all of our small business shoutouts And now for our new Patreon members And a special shoutout to Zach Tomasco Go to ZachTomasco.com Slash merch To pick up something nice to be buried in.

Some nice merch there. And check out his songs, man. Zach Tomasco. You got to check him out. His album, There Used to Be a Future. For now, here's Zach Tomasco. Available wherever you listen to music. And be sure to visit ZachTomasco.com. Check out Zach Tomasco. Let me wherever you listen to music and be sure to visit ZachTomasco.com

Check out Zach Tomasco. Let me know if you like the tunes. Put it in the comments. Okay, I want to welcome our new Patreon members. Thomas Skolin. Welcome. G.

Nathan. Patrick Hamilton. Fernando Papon. Papon? Did I pronounce that right? Papon. Papon. Josh Elliott. Justin Rappa,

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Joe Perks. Julia Morin. Welcome, guys. Appreciate you. If I missed you, just fucking comment on the Patreon and I'll read your name. Love you guys. Now, I'll see you next week. It's been a long day.