Yannis Pappas Hour - Santa Claus’s Naughty List

Episode Date: December 22, 2023

Travis & Taylor is a fake relationship created by white supremacists to get us ready for the Christian Ayatollah. Maury has won a lifetime achievement award because of what he has done for men’s rights. Finally, no smoking and no bottoming in the meeting rooms on capital hill! Merry Christmas for Americans only, America first! 🇺🇸 See Yanni do stand up live in your town: Ticket links on yannispappascomedy.com Join our highlights page for highlight clips from the episodes: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykw Join our bonus channel! new bonus episodes every Wednesday at https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour?utm_campaign=creatorshare_

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It's Yanis Cronkite back with another episode of the Yanis Pappas Hour. Thank you for joining us. We have a lot of important current events to get to. I don't call them news anymore. I call them entertainment happenings. Maury Povich, yes, he's still alive. That's really the main point of the story.

Has received a Lifetime Achievement Award, and it's not for still being alive. It's actually for his work. You are not the father. Has anyone done more for men's rights than Maury Povich? We will talk about it. A little gay sex in a Senate hearing room on Capitol Hill has got the internet all abuzz. Is this discrimination against the LGTBQ community? I say yes. Tune in for my opinion on why I believe this is discrimination. People should be allowed

to have POV sex wherever they want i blame the person who leaked the video alec baldwin look if there's someone you don't want to step to it's somebody who's a murderer he's ready to throw it out okay that's like uh that's like going up to somebody who just did a lot of time in cell block six and chanting something in his face. He's already killed the person. So he had to be ripped away from someone he wanted to kill by the NYPD. Pro is pro Palestine protesters in New York chant KKK NYPD IDF. They're all the same. Are they? I say yes.

Are they? I say yes. Tune in for more controversial content opinions here as I make content for clicks. Also, millionaires in a bipartisan bill will no longer be receiving unemployment benefits. Talk about a blow to the middle class. It's projected that 200 mil was given away to millionaires who were taking unemployment. I say this is an encroachment of freedom. I am off on a libertarian paradise. Yanni, I'm the spokesperson for it. You can only get it here. Jeff Bezos, I'm a libertarian too.

Libertas, libertas, libertas, down with egalite. All libertas, equal opportunity, not equal outcome. Harvard's applications are down 70% in pre-applicants. Is this because of DEI or is this because people just know, hey man, I'm going to start a brand. F you Harvard Harvard. I'm going to take that $300,000 investment, and I'm going to invest it in a camera crew and an editor. Also, you better watch out. You better act nice, because Sandy is coming to town. Have you been naughty and nice? You're nice. The Epstein naughty list is being released right in time for the for Santa Claus's birthday. Is it his birthday? No, it's the it's Big J's birthday for the famous Jew boy's birthday, which Santa Claus represents. It's a republic.

Christmas is a republic representing the big guy's birthday. Big Jew boy, Jay. Big Jew boy, Jesus. I'm just going to refer to him as that Jew boy because that's what my dad used to refer to him as. You think that Jew boy? The Jew boy's birthday, O Jesus,

is being represented by an elected official of the people, Santa Claus, who is a Scandinavian fatty that makes Bobby Kelly, well, Bobby Kelly makes Bobby Kelly look thin now thanks to surgery. Also, more Taylor Swift and Travis Kelsey news. I got the scoop.

I've been texting with Tay-Tay. I've been texting with Tay-Tay and I've been texting with Tay-Tay. I've been texting with Tay-Tay, and I've been texting with Trav. Travis and Taylor. It's just a good old – there's something about Taylor Swift where she's trying to bring back the Norman Rockwell 50s, and it's working. A love story between a good old football player, Jock, and a good old blonde cheerleader girl named Taylor.

Travis and Taylor, baby. I got the Cinnabons on the scoop. This is the Giannis Papasawa. Put your swim trunks on, cause we're going underwater. We're going underwater. What up? What's the deal is everybody Early happy Christmas to the people who are healthy And don't have the flu or COVID

Which I still don't believe either One of those is real So if you got the sniffles I believe you got bird flu Or you got democrat flu That's it You got the boo-hoos You got the libby boo-hoos

I got a couple friends right now Who are down with the libby boo-hoos. I got a couple friends right now who are down with the Libby boo-hoos. And that's what you got. Pull your bootstraps up and suck your own papa. Get back out there. Become an American. Stop with this pansy-ass foreign South Korean nonsense. Okay?

What are you, a North Korean spy? You got nothing but a case of sniffles. Get out there. You got shopping to do. It looks like we're going to get out of this thing without a major recession. Inflation's been held at bay somehow. And it looks like the economy's looking pretty good. But unemployment, they say, is going to be really bad.

But I think unemployment's bad now all the time because nobody wants to work any jobs anymore. I just read a list of like the 15 jobs people want to quit the most. And they were all like nurses and like software engineers. And like, I just don't think anybody in America wants to work because everyone wants just, everyone wants to live life life right now. Everyone wants to go, Hey, grab me a mic, grab me a freaking, uh, a camera. And I'm going to do a potty. I'm going to pot out. I want to be a content creator.

That's it. And I don't blame them because they watch this show every week, and they go, I could do that. And you can. And you can. Give it a try. That's what I say. Speaking of great content, I've been trying to switch back

between the Israel-Hamas and the Ukraine-Russia game, so can someone tell me the scores? I got my bets down on DraftKings with my promo code YPH, which I'll plug even though they're not sponsoring this episode. Nobody is, and nobody has in a little while. I want to give a shout out to our Patreon, patreon.com slash Giannis Peppasour. We're just doing a superior product over there. That's all I can tell you. I think you can go over there and sample it for free. Is that correct?

So go over and sample it for free, and then you're going to want to support five bucks a month because it's a superior product. What I'm putting out is a superior product. That's my pitch. I'm not giving you a marketing spiel. I'm not going to tell you fake stories about my family. I'm just giving you a straight marketing pitch that our product is superior. You can test our product against other products, even similar models,

and you will find that my product lasts longer, has longer range, and is made of better stuff, better ingredients, better mobility, better sustainability, better for the environment, better for you, better for me, better for Boohoo. Check it out, patreon.com slash Giannis Papasauro. Also, go see my boy, Paul Verzi, at the Gramercy Theater in New York City. If you're listening to this, there's still a few tickets left. I wanted to plug that for him.

It's a great show. He's one of the best live entertainers in the town. Go see Paul Verzi New Year's Eve. A few tickets left. Gramercy Theater in New York City. I will not be performing on New Year's Eve. I will be awkwardly sitting on a couch with my wife while we're both tired from putting our kids down,

and I have a sip of wine with a father who also goes into his room and goes to sleep. So that's going to be my situation. My wife will be going to sleep at 9 o'clock because she is and has always been a Jewish grandmother from Long Island. Since I started dating her in her 20s, her bedtime's been 9 p.m.

So I'll be up alone watching some rerun of The Sopranos, which I'm getting back into, which is quite triggering because his mother had borderline personality disorder as well. My mother had borderline personality disorder. Only people who've had mothers like that know the struggle. And boy, are those people nightmares. Anyway, a couple thousand dollars in therapy later, Yanni's feeling pretty good today. But you must forgive me if I'm mourning 47 years of lost time because I was dealing with that

nightmare of a woman. And I even still feel bad about saying that because she's still controlling my brain. Anyhowzers, Maury Povich has won a Lifetime Achievement Award that was given to him by his Chinese spy wife, Connie Chung. And if you don't think Connie Chung is one of the first CCP spies in this country, you got another thing coming. She's been doing the local news in New York City for decades. Okay. Now, how did she get into the country before we were letting the Chinese in? There was a time when I was a kid where Connie Chung was the Chinese. How many Chinese were in

New York before Connie Chung? She was one of the first diversity hires we had. She earned it. She earned it. Connie Chung. She was a, her name's not Connie. There's no way her real name is Connie. Connie is a Jewish woman's name. One of my mom's best friends was Connie Miller. And I don't think she was Jewish. She was Greek, I think, and she married a guy named Miller. It's not a Jewish name, right? No.

You can't say Connie. Millistine. Millistine. Connie, and she was Greek, Connie, and she lived to like 103. She had a great personality, Connie Miller. Rest in peace, Connie Miller, if she's dead. I never got word of her death, but my mother had Alzheimer's for the past 15 years,

so if she died, she didn't know. So did she really die? Does a person die if you have Alzheimer's and don't know? Does a tree fall in the forest and you don't hear it? Does it fall? I think that's a philosophical question that bears some exploring. Also what bears some exploring is Maury Povich deserved of a lifetime achievement award. Now, you know when your wife, by the way,

they've been together a long time. So, you know, give him credit. Give Maury Povich, the old Slavic son of immigrants, Povich. I imagine he's some sort of Serbo-Croat, you know, miscellaneous white, you know. He's one of those miscellaneous rights, Romanian, Bulgarian, miscellaneous white. reporter, I think for Fox for years. And I think he did some news reporting before he got to his claim to fame, which was having his name chanted by derelicts in the audience who wanted to see a bloodbath of single mothers being forced into taking cash register jobs at department stores to pay for their poor kids. I mean, who is more beloved by the black community, Obama or Maury Povich? I mean, dog, how come nobody has created a Maury Povich dance? They all they did. Do you think the producers tell them when you find out you're not the father,

bust a move? Oh, yeah, make a pic. Yeah, because nobody just finds out they're not the father and just sits there and goes, see, see? They go, oh! And the audience goes like this,

yeah! I'm not the father. I told you. I told you. Daquan, you are not the father. Shankwina, I'm sorry, girl. Looks like you got to get a second job at Century 21, which is out of business.

Rest in peace, Century 21. They're back? They're back, ladies. Just play me a few just for the fun of it will we get dinged i don't know this compilation maybe yeah let's see just just just for a little just for some ambiance and they show the pictures of the kids oh yeah look at how cute these kids cute kids i mean oh my god this is wrong dude why

doesn't he just say uh why doesn't he just say for the case of uh little declan he will be going to jail he will be growing up without a father rachon in the case of three-year-old carlito rachon you are not. Dog, I mean, they react like they just hit the game-winning shot in game seven. Put some respect on my name, dog. Rayshawn, you are nuts. Do the little dance. Do the cabbage patch.

And she goes backstage. Now, listen, the funny thing is that these women act surprised. Stop it. Put some respect on my name. These women act surprised like they know they weren't hoeing around around that time. As if there wasn't a possibility. Now what they do is they know that this guy is probably the better choice of the two of who they were banging out. But Maury did more for men's rights than anybody else. And dare I say, he really did a lot to fight feminism

and to expose a lot of these women. Because women cheat too, dog. Women cheat too. Most of the time, Maury would find that they were not the father because that was the biggest pop from the audience. It's like if you do wrestling, there's certain guys who are going to get pop. So you know Maury and the producers backstage were like,

all right, listen, it's like the generals against the Harlem Grub Trotters. We'll let the generals win one time a year. So we'll let one time one guy be the father. But the rest of those times, guys, I want you to open that envelope and I want to hear you are not the father. That's what the crowd wants to hear. That's what gives the biggest pop. And that's what it is.

Maury Povich, Lifetime Achievement Award for men's rights. You know it's suspect if a guy's deserved of a Lifetime Achievement Award when his wife starts the speech defending him, defending the record. She started the speech by going, he's not just the, you're not the father guy. He also interviewed politicians and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's like saying Jerry Springer is known as a mayor. Nobody even remembers Jerry Springer was the mayor of where, Milwaukee or something. Who cares?

He's Jerry, Jerry. And Maury is Maury, Maury. even remembers jerry springer was the mayor of where milwaukee or something who cares he's jerry jerry and maury is maury maury now did jerry sue maury for the chant he should have didn't jerry do the chant first yeah he had the chant going he was on air for 32 seasons who maury 32 seasons that is a lifetime achievement award of degrading American culture. 11 a.m. Yeah. I mean, what has he done for—he's 84 years old. He's 84. He's 84 years old, and I think he just went off the air last year.

Yeah, last year he retired. So he was doing it until he was 83. You wake up, you rip a bong, and you put on Maury. You put on Maury. I mean, like, give somebody else a chance. Why didn't you pass the torch? Oh, yeah. We need to know.

There's guys out there that are going to be told that they're the father. Or do you think Maury's becoming antiquated now because guys could just easily get DNA tests? That's kind of his bit, though. But you know what? A lot of the people on the show, I don't think they know what DNA is. So Maury did do a service for people who were, let's say, financially challenged. I wonder if...

And educationally challenged. Can you sue? Like, if someone does his bit, can they sue? That's his bit. That's a good question. That's a good question. Let's page six that shit. Does he have the copyright on that bit?

I don't know. But I'd love to pull up Connie Chang's speech because it's in one of the articles. And it's funny how it starts where she's just defending him. But we will tell you. I don't know. It's a good legal question. It's a good legal question.

I would love to ask Jerry because I think Jerry was a lawyer. But you know what sells, baby. You know what makes the money. You know when he did that first fight? know, when he did that first fight, you know, when he did that first, like KKK guys, you know,

when he sat the KKK guys down and they, and some like black Panthers and they tried to fight or whatever. He was like, we're going to do this every episode, every single episode. We want people getting at each other. Jerry Springer was so popular that the guy who broke up the fights got his own show do you remember that guy yeah steve i think his name was steve got his

own show and he was the guy that broke up the fight yeah he was the bald bouncer yeah he was the ball he was the bald bouncer um we can't find her speech but there's connie chung i'm telling you dude nobody ages like the asians look at her still looking good. I can only assume she's in her eighties as well. Maury and Connie, dude. I mean, icon Connie Chung is a New York icon. You got Connie Chung, you got Ernie Anastas, and they held down New York local news for years. Connie Chung. I don't know if she's retired yet, but she's definitely responsible for passing a lot of media secrets to the CCP. And you heard it from me first. What are you pulling up?

This might be the speech. Oh, yeah. This would be great. I'm going to let this ad play. This would be great. Well, you could skip it. There we go. Okay, here we go. Let's see if we I'm going to let this ad play. This would be great. We got to just, well, you could skip it. There we go. Okay, here we go. Let's see if we can get a little bit of the speech.

Oh. No, no. Sorry. Some bullshit. That's the great thing about podcasts. Like, TV shows have this stuff all queued up. Podcasts, sometimes you're just going to get a little chatter and and dead air all right well i i read it and she started that's that's what she did she started off by like defending him um we're not going to get it we're

not going to find it we're not going to find it but it was a it was a it was a historic night for maury lifetime achievement award who gives a lifetime achievement award it was a historic night for Maury. Lifetime Achievement Award. Who gives a Lifetime Achievement Award? It was the Daytime Emmys. It was the Daytime Emmys. So he got an Emmy. And I think during the speech, he said, Rupert Murdoch always told me, I don't care about these awards.

I don't care about the awards. I care about viewership. And Maury at the end said, Damn you, Rupert. And he held it up, saying, I'm happy to get this award. Maury, you are not the father.

You are not the father. The DNA test proved, here's a woman. Oh, here's another one. Oh, here's another one. I mean, they pulled these guys right out of the backwoods of Mississippi. It's more important to find out that he's the father.

I want to know if this is the father of my kid. Yeah, you're the father of the kid. He's the father of my kid. When it comes to three-year-old Addison. Why do they got to show the kid? You are not. Wow, that's a fat woman. The women always run backstage.

And they play this music. For this very sad occasion. Yeah. Why do they show the baby? They're so happy to not be the fathers. That ain't my kid. No, that's not true. That's not true.

It is true, baby. Yeah. You know what you did. Wait, is he going to do the right thing? Oh, yeah. Oh. Oh, my God. Babality?

This is where not believing in DNA could help the situation. I'm curious now to know how this turns out. It's time to stop. It's time to stop, okay? No more. What are your parents? Who are your parents? I'm going to call...

I don't know what that is. We got to beep all that. That got really real. Very dramatic. Somebody really took the time to make that compilation and add their two cents in anyway we got to beep those curses because we don't get dinged for yeah yeah something we didn't know um anyway oof nobody's done more for america than maury and congratulations on your lifetime achievement award and nobody's done more for the gay community than a gay staffer who got pov'd

i mean um what was it a only fans content maybe but do they know who it is yeah good luck with this name uh aiden meese there's a ski some polack some gay polack some irish polack aiden zaropsky is no longer employed by the u.s senate you are not the father uh we will have no more further comment on this personal matter, according to Maryland Democratic Senator Ben Cardin, because the video speaks for itself. I'll finish the sentence. I'll finish this sentence for him. Now, the staffer who shot this gay porn video

has shot back and said that this is discrimination against his sexual preferences, right? Correct. Wait, let's take a peek at this twink. He was the one getting banged out? Yeah. Yeah. He does not look like he does the servicing. He looks like he's being serviced. Yeah, yeah. He looks like the car. He looks like the automobile. He does not look like the mechanic. Here's the shot. There it is. Oh, man, right there. Yeah. Oh, man. And the mystery man who

did the servicing is still on the loose. We don't know. He's still on the loose. And he won't give them up? Is he going to give them up? No. Because he's not the one who's been naughty. I mean, this guy makes Santa's naughty list.

We're starting Santa's naughty list a little early with this gay Polack and his unidentified friend. You know there was a lot of giggling and squealing. Like, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. It's so fucking, it's so hot. It's so hot. Film it, film it. Make sure you get the United States Senate insignia.

Make sure you get that in. Make sure you get the conference chairs. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Oh my God, oh my God. So naughty. Yeah. Somewhere out of frame, there's a jar of lube. Somewhere there's a jar of lube sitting on the podium there.

Somewhere there's a jar of lube. Somewhere there's a little loose lube that fell to the floor. Oh, yeah. A little glop. Somewhere there's a glop of lube that got vacuumed up by the custodial staff of Capitol Hill. He posted it in a private group

chat for homosexual men working in politics. We've jumped the shark at this point. We've jumped the shark at this point. We've jumped the shark. Well, his defense jumped the shark for sure. Yeah. Well, we've also jumped the shark in our actions.

Why would you do this? Why would you do this? What's the thinking? It's a rush. It's a rush naughty it's naughty for christmas gay guys love being naughty too so he put out a tweet since now he's been made famous well his back has been made famous guys got a smooth back like a seal. Not one hair follicle on there. Almost looks like a lady's back. Aiden has released a message and I'll read it in Aiden's voice. This has been a

difficult time for me as I've been attacked for who I love to pursue a political agenda. While some of my actions in the past have shown poor judgment, I love my job and would never disrespect my workplace. Any attempts to characterize my actions otherwise are fabricated and I will be exploring what legal options are available to be in these matters. I would love to be a fly on the wall of him making a phone call to a lawyer saying, will you take this case and prove that I in no way disrespected my workplace by getting banged out, Rod D. looped up in his Senate hearing.

They're going to have an Aiden Zerzowskiowski rule now you know how there's gonna be signs that say no smoking there's also gonna be a sign right under that that says no subbing no subs allowed no subbing no bottoms no bottoming no bottoming in the meeting rooms, no smoking, no drinks, no bottoming, no bottoming. Very interesting that he's going to be taking legal. He's going to be exploring his legal options. I have been attacked for who I love to pursue a political agenda. I'm not sure if that's what's going on, but let me attempt to defend it. Okay?

It is love. He is a protected group. Did he break a law? Did he break a law? Nobody was there, so it's not in public. There's no law broken. If nobody sees the video from whatever it's gay snitch,

unless there's a straight Donnie Brasco undercover, this must have been a straight Donnie Brasco. Or unless it's some scorned ex-lover who's in the chat who goes, you know what, Aiden? Fuck you. I'm going to get you good, asshole. Was that you and Ronald? Was that Ronald's pole entering your cave?

Well, I'm going to get you good. But I think it was probably a straight donnie brascoe you know what i mean yeah the republicans probably send some donnie brascoes in there you know who just like act gay like ah yeah just like the ice man did to kill that guy in the club he's like i acted real flamboyant gay and then i went and i stuck him with a with a needle hypodermic needle and killed him put poison in him I bet you there's some gay Donnie Brascos out there. They're getting into these chats just to see what these gays are doing because they suspect these gays are up to no good.

Now, you just set the gay community back 20 years with this nonsense. Now, it's just now there's going to be senators going like, I don't know if I could risk it because you boys just can't lay off each other. You can't lay off the naughty. You got to represent your community better than this, man. But am I holding them to a higher standard? You don't think there's been any straight sex? Would there be the outrage if there was straight sex?

If it was straight? I don't know. Because a lot of guys would pull to it. Would there be the same outrage? God damn, I can't take the case because I think there would be. Unfortunately, I think there'd be the same outrage. But what can you do?

We still got to find out who this still unidentified naked man. Oh, wait, the video shows a still, oh, wait a second. We have it backwards. We have it backwards. The video shows a still unidentified naked man on the receiving end of anal sex. So he's the giver, which does not match his appearance at all,

which just lets you know you can't judge a book by its cover. You can't judge a twink by his twink appearance. Wait a minute, really? Yeah, so he's not, that's not him. Hold on, scroll down, but that's the same hair. That's the same hair. I think they may have messed up in the story. Because how is he going to be unidentified?

He didn't look back once to go, oh, my God, give it to me. I think this paper has it backwards. What is this, zero hedge? They get things wrong all the time. They just love sticking it to the libs. Tyler Durbin likes sticking it to the libs. But I will say Tyler Durbin is the one who made my Greek financial crisis video go viral. He's the one that posted in 2012, the Greek financial crisis. But I don't think the identified male is the one who's getting...

There is a... He's identified right there. Yeah, he's identified right there. So they did get it wrong. Oh, wait, no, but that's not him. So they know his face. He's just unidentified. They don't know what he is because he's just a stray gay. He's a stray gay. Yeah, he's a stray gay. He hasn't been found yet.

Nobody's called up and been like, I know that gay. So maybe it's, yeah, because I was about to say, you're going to see his face because you're not going to get a POV of the back the whole time. There's going to be a couple of like deeper, deeper, harder, harder. Give it to me, big boy. There's going to be a couple of turnarounds. Here's the video.

There's the video. Let's put it on so I can. Oh, he's wearing a jockstrap. You going to put this in the spank bank? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I love how gratuitous the news is too, that they just,

what's the point of posting the video, but they blurred it, but you can still see, you can still see it going in. Thank you. Daily caller. The source identified the room, the Senate room,

heart 216. Well, now it's been renamed to, it's been renamed to hole 216 from heart 216. It's the judiciary room. The caller blurred out his face because his identity has not been confirmed. Oh, okay. So he's the judiciary room. The caller blurred out his face because his identity has not been confirmed. Oh, okay. So he's the giver.

The staffer was the servicer. So we had it wrong, even though he looked like a twink. He's doling out the goods. All right, Jesus Christ. He's bent over. Here's some response. Heck of a week for the left.

Gay porn in the Senate. Swearing in ceremony on child porn in Virginia. I don't know what's going on. Tranny tap dancers in the White House. And satanic statues in Iowa. Everyone's jumping the shark right now. His response. This. the shark has been jumped. You can't do this.

I mean, you can't do it. At least get a pillow for your knees. Come on, that's what I'm most outraged about. He took him on the table? Yeah, I think he took him on the table. I think he got up on that because the guy's bent over on, this is just, this is just naughty. He took him on the table? Yeah, I think he took him on the table. I think he got up on that because the guy's bent over on... This is just...

This is just naughty. This is not... Santa's not happy about this. No. And Santa does not discriminate on sexuality, but Santa's not happy about this. There's got to be a line of decency. I mean, we've gotten pretty wild.

Remember that trans woman just showed her boobs on the lawn too? Yeah. We've gotten pretty wild. Remember that trans woman just showed her boobs on the lawn too? Yeah. We've gotten, you know, we got to get back to a little suit and tie. We got to suit and tie a little bit. Show the legislative branch a little respect. I know you represent the people, but can you represent the people a little less? Our representatives are now representing the people a little too much, and now the staffers are representing the people a little too much and now the staffers

are representing the people a little too much. Let's tone down on the democracy a little bit. I like it better when we paid lip service to the democracy. You know? I feel strange saying that, but bring on the Christian Ayatollah dictatorship. I've had enough.

Just for two years. A two-year purge. Clean all this up. Just clean it up. Jesus Christ. But please don't because it's fun. That's fun news. But what's also fun news is trying to start a fight with Alec Baldwin. There's something about when you look into a man who's taken another life where you go, I shouldn't mess with this guy. All right? Um, there's something about when you look into a man who's taken another life where

you guys shouldn't mess with this guy. All right. Now, some guy at a protest really tries to get in Alec Baldwin's face and Alec Baldwin tries to attack him. Um, cause Alec Baldwin's seen some stuff. Alec Baldwin's had a rough couple of years. So you're going to get some displaced anger on you if you talk some smack.

He's ready to go. He's ready to throw down. He is. Right. Because he doesn't see you. No. He sees the injustice of an accidental slaying. He sees a malfunctioning pistol.

I mean, there shouldn't have been live rounds in there. I don't know how you can indict a guy he's a malfunctioning pistol. I mean, there shouldn't have been live rounds in there. I don't know how you can indict a guy. Why was there a live round in that gun? Unless he was having an affair with that woman and he wanted her silenced. That's the only way I could, because why, what, why has not the whole special effects team

gone to prison for this? Like, why? Has anyone been culpable for this? I think the guy who deals with the weapons, he's seeing some heat. I forget what they call it. There's a name for that. The gunologist.

The gunologist. Yeah, the gunologist needs to pay. Right. The official name is gunologist. Or the one Republican on set. Yeah. Yeah. official name is gunologist or the one republican on set yeah or the one open republican on set the hillbilly hillbilly uh whatever oh my god some guy tweeted underneath i refuse to watch anything with alec baldwin in it this isn't a movie guy it's not a movie it's not one of his flicks so apparently he was

walking to work and he got caught up in a wait walking to work yeah he was going to do some like voiceover or something he's still working yeah he's still working for who ben shapiro daily daily wire studios i think he has a podcast i know he's got a podcast because tim's been on it yeah i'm you know podcasts will take everybody oh yeah steve-o's got one stand up and podcasts it's wide open. Nobody can stop you from doing them. I think that's next for him, stand-up. Yeah.

And by the way, I'd love to do Steve-O or Jeremy Piven's podcast or do a collabo show at you guys' stand-up. I'd love it. I mean, you guys, whoever else is out there. I'm sure Michael Rappaport, I'd love in between rants about Israel, I would love to do a co-headlining weekend with you at Uncle Vinny's. I'd love to. I'd love to.

I loved you in the Woody Allen movie. I loved you in the Mighty Aphrodite. You were great. You were great. I loved you on whatever cop show you were on, Boston Public, I think, right? I think he was on Boston Public. He always played sort of the tough yeah the tough italiany kind of jewish italian guy yeah yeah so uh i'd love to do a co-headlining weekend with you at

bananas and hasbro kites i'd love to jeremy piven you follow me now call me baby i'll do a you know we'll we'll grab adrian Grenier out of Austin where he's growing tomatoes or whatever, and we'll do a whole thing. Yeah, get Turtle. We'll get Turtle, the whole thing. Well, yeah, Turtle, I don't think he has my old job anymore. I think that's been done.

Oh, that's right. Yeah. So this guy tries to step to Alec. He's on his way to work. So he's on his way to work. To do a voiceover or whatever, because he's been proven innocent, right? I don't know the the case might still be pending i think they're trying to sue him or whatever but i mean like how is it alec baldwin's fault unless he

they uncover an affair well supposedly film etiquette is you never point the gun at anyone anyway i know but he's okay so you you can't arrest him for lacking film etiquette. Why is there a freaking live round in the goddamn gun? Perfectly valid. But why is he aiming a gun and pulling the trigger at the camera woman? Because he was having an affair with her. Maybe he was just doing like jokefully because, yeah, joke shit. Like this is how I'm going to shoot you. Yeah, and then whoa.

I mean, he's not responsible for that. No, I think he he's not responsible for that. No, I think he got off. Right. And then I think now there's some legal, like, you know, like you said,

lawsuit or some financial, um, suit now, but anyway, so he was walking supposedly to do something and he got caught up in a Palestinian protest, which there's a high probability of happening. If you live in New York city right now,

you could just run into one. Oh yeah. I may get caught in traffic of that on the way home. So, let's see what happens. Yeah, yeah. Is that your answer? Is that your answer? You stupid question. If you've been down past these fire asses. Yeah, yeah. Hell yeah.

Yeah, he's ready to go. He's ready to go. He's ready to go. He's ready to go, my man. Watch him come here. Watch him come here. All right, listen. Yeah, well, listen.

Taking a life changes a man. You ain't so scared to do it again. Your seal's been broken, you know? Once the seal's been broken, it's in his eyes probably going like, hey, man, I know what it's like. I know what it feels like. He went to anger management at some point he's had some stuff he's had some stuff been through it didn't he call his daughter a little piggy yeah he called her a little

piggy he punched a guy over alternate side of the street parking yeah yeah he's ready to go dude he's ready to go he's cocked and loaded. Alec Baldwin is ready to go, dog. The Baldwin brothers are a fascinating bunch, man. I mean, people don't talk about it enough. I mean, you got Steven and Alec. Here's Baldwin in paparazzo scuffle. Yeah, there he is. He's had a few.

His wife pretends to be Spanish. It's a funny bunch, dog. Hilaria. Her name is Hillary, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a white Jewish girl. How you say, how you say? Cucumber.

Cómo se dice? Plantinas. Cucumber, cucumber. How do you say? Cacarepa de aquíta. Cota la seta, cota. Here he is punching. He's punching a paparazzi.

Yeah. Here he is punching one. Don't step to Alec. It's an interesting family. It's an interesting family. Well, they grew up in Long Island. Grew up in Long Island. I think the mother's in Syracuse, if I remember correctly.

Because I remember my ex said she saw him at the Carousel Mall just walking around. Yeah, yo, Alec Baldwin's about that life, dog. He's about that life. And then that's also a suspect that he has the anger management problem and then someone ended up dead. Yeah, he caught a body. Caught a body somehow. But it is an interesting family.

Because Stephen is a born-again Christian, completely right-wing Republican. Billy is as progressive as you get. It's just an interesting thing. Justin's married to Stephen's daughter. They're in Hollywood. They're in Tinseltown. They're in Libtardtown.

And they got to go home for the holidays. So there's just going to be interesting Thanksgiving conversations where Steven wants to share some of his opinions and where his daughter is going to be like, Dad, stop. He's Canadian. But Justin's going to be like, No, no, no. Say the N-word again.

I'm comfortable. I don't know if you've seen my old work. I'm comfortable, Steven. We got to do something about him. I agree. And then you got Alec in the middle who's accidentally killed some person and has, has rage issues.

And then there's another one who's just fat. There's another brother. Who's fat. There's the fat Baldwin brother. Alec Baldwin says anger management taught him that he isn't that angry. I beg to differ. I beg to differ. I beg to differ. Famously hotheaded actor.

After pleading guilty to harassment over a parking spot fight. Anger management's funny. Okay, welcome to anger management. You guys got gotta cool it you gotta like how do you fix someone's anger problem in anger management take deep breaths take deep breaths count to 10 count to 10 cool it cool it okay um just don't react and alex like act and Alex like um okay thank you uh

that's how he talks I'll try my best to maintain is this good for the credits do I get the credits and give me the fuck are you looking at me why are you looking at me why were you looking at me old class I'll fucking shove this pencil down your neck asshole

well don't start no more being on with Alec Baldwin fucking shove this pencil down your neck, asshole. Well, don't start no won't be no with Alec Baldwin. Don't start no won't be none. If you're paparazzi, pick another Baldwin brother. Pick another Baldwin brother. I would say Billy.

Billy seems like the puss of the group. Don't start with Steven. Steven's strapped. Steven's got a concealed carry for sure. And he may just shoot you and claim that it was on his property because it was in America and America belongs to the white man. So that may be his defense. It was on my property. it was a stand your ground law

because this mexican was in america and america's my home that's what his defense would be so pick billy or the fat one who's the fat baldwin brother there's gotten the least play. No backdraft movie. Daniel Baldwin. Daniel Baldwin. Daniel Baldwin looks like Alec Baldwin just didn't stop eating. There's Alec, Danny, Billy, and Steven. Where does Danny fall on the political spectrum? We know Alec was more of an Obama left,

right? One of those guys. Yeah. He's part of the establishment. He's part of the establishment left. Danny is probably like a libertarian, you know? Yeah.

You know, or a commie. One of those. Or he may be just a political or a political. He just may be sad. He's just sad. He's maybe the sad one. Yeah. Stephen Baldwin's my favorite. Cause Stephen. He's just sad. He's maybe the sad one. Yeah.

Stephen Baldwin's my favorite. Because Stephen, he's just, you can catch clips of him just talking about Jesus and how we need our country back. He was in a great movie. He was in a great movie. The strangest thing. And then he drops dead. Kaiser says it.

Kaiser says it. Daniel. I mean, how much, they all look alike so much. He looks like Alec the most. Oh, he's the oldest. Yeah, he's the oldest, and he looks like Alec the most. He played the role of Detective Bew Felton in the TV series Homicide.

Other than that, he's taking care of his mother in Syracuse. So, have you been naughty or nice?'re gonna find out we're certainly gonna find out alec baldwin's been naughty um aiden the democratic staffer has been very naughty the lifetime achievement awards give uh have been naughty giving maury one for glorifying the most chaotic segment of our society and the misery of children. I mean, how brutal is that? Did they show the kid? And now we're going to find out 150 people who were on the list.

150 people will be revealed. I like the buildup they're doing for this. It just lets you know how much media has become entertainment, too. You know? Because they're building up to it. My show might as well be a real news show, to be honest with you. I might as well be a real news show at this point. They're wetting our beak here. They're giving us a little, eh. Every podcast will be talking with you. I might as well be a real news show at this point. They're wetting our beak here.

They're giving us a little, every podcast will be talking about this, so I'm not going to spend too much time on it because everyone's obsessed with who's on Jeffrey Epstein's plane. I'm sure everyone who's rich has been on that goddamn plane. There might be one whopper, though. Like one blow your mind. One whopper. But is it going to be one whopper, though. Like, one blow your mind. One whopper.

But is it going to be a whopper? We don't know about. We know Bill Gates is going to be on there. That's a big speculation, yeah. We know Billy the Kid's on there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We know Billy. We know Billy Clinton's on there.

We don't know if Trump was on there, but we do know Trump used to hang. We knew Trump was boys with him. Trump was on there, but we do know Trump used to hang. We knew Trump was boys with him. It'll be interesting if there's a lot of Ds on that list and no Trumpy on that list. Let's scroll down and see exactly. So it's 150 of his associates containing the identities

of our 150 associates of late. What does that mean, though? So it's not lists on the plane. We got the flight logs, right? We know who went to the island. We know who went down to the island. But these are associates. So what does that mean?

If you're an associate, that doesn't necessarily mean that you're doing anything. People might have done business with him. Yeah. I'm sure he kept records. He kept, you know, copious notes. Yes. The date was set for early January. It's not going to be a happy new year for a bunch of people.

This is your time to Hannibal Lecter it. Get a fake hair, go to the Caribbean. Get out of Dodge. Get out of Dodge if you suspect your name's going to come up. Survey says, you want to preempt the survey says. Get out of Dodge. Get out of Dodge if you suspect your name's going to come up. Survey says? You want to preempt the survey says. Yeah.

Well, the news will have everyone following the Epstein case chomping at the bit to know who was doing business with the financier. ABC provided more detail about what could be contained. The documents may not be clear why a certain individual became associated, but more than 150 people are expected to be identified in hundreds of files that may expose more about Epstein's sex trafficking of women and girls in New York, New Mexico, the U.S. Virgin Islands,

and elsewhere. Some of the names may simply have been included in deposition email or legal documents. We're going to find out. Let's take some guesses. Sammy Sosa. First thing I can. Who do you think is going to be on there?

Some big wigs? Some big billies? Billionaires? It would be fun. You think you're going to get a little Elon on there? Yeah. Maybe that's why he's acting so irrationally to get all that living in before a big reveal?

Could be. Could be. We don't know. And maybe it's some women. You know, you just got all dudes. Or as we were saying last week, Oprah? You better watch out yeah santa's coming to town he's trying to check his list checking it twice he wants to know who's a pedophile or not

santa claus is coming to town what if it's your girl hillary what if it's your girl in in quotes janet reno what if it's some big Hollywood wigs? Yeah. What if we're talking a little Brad Gray? Mmm. What if we're talking some movie star action? Yeah.

A little... You ought to go Clooney? Mmm. A little Brad Pitt? Mmm. I hope it's someone with a big mouth. I'm going to go out on a limb and maybe go... Leo likes to show up very early to the store. He's there real early.

He's there on Black Friday, early, knocking on the window, going, it's 7.01. He doesn't need Epstein, though. No, you don't need him. It's mostly people who need Epstein. A little B.B. Netanyahu? A little George W.? Probably not. Now watch me hit this drive. A little...

Drumroll. Henry Kissinger? A little Barry? A little who? Barry.? Little Barry? Little who? Barry. Who's Barry? Barry Obama.

No, because he deals in men. He's interested in the girls. If you're gay, you don't need Jeffrey Epstein because there's bathhouses. The gay guys go really close to the line of legality, and it's totally fine in the gay world. There'll be some 50-year-old guy with a 19-year-old guy, and the gay world's like, yeah, that's just what we like.

They're totally less taboo about that in the gay world. Some 24-year-old guy with a 55-year-old sugar daddy. You know? We're all on the edge of our seats to find out who it is it's going to be someone very unexpected too like taylor swift's dad maybe that's why she got so famous i don't want to live in this world anymore. I don't mean that like I don't want to live in this world anymore. I don't want to live in the world of Epstein's client lists. I want to live in the world of Taylor and Travis and their good old American 1950s white as, high school love affair.

Is this not the stereotypical white dream for America? The white football star with the popular blonde girl? This is like, this is what they were, like what the old America was trying to make, right? When they were trying to exclude the blacks from the dream. I mean, their names, Taylor and Travis, it's as white as you can get. It's a fairyland.

It's a winter wonderland of fake love and gaslighting. It's going on right now. It's love bombing, I should say. She is love bombing him. She's ruining his career. Now, that's the dream, right? Now, I'm joking, right? So you know America's interested in this

because it has a make America great Again kind of feel to it. It's a real Make America Great Again kind of love story. It's Norman Rockwell. It's soda pop at the counter. It's wholesome. It's 1950s. Da-da-da, leave it to Viva. Da-da-da-da-da-da.

Ba-da-ba-da-ba-ba. There is no other side of the tracks. That's not happening. It's that old illusion of an America without sin. You know, just pay attention to this love story. Don't pay attention to the disenfranchised group that was enslaved a couple hundred years ago. Not even on the other side of the tracks.

It's that America. And they want us to look at it again. They want us to look at it again, which makes me nervous about what's coming. I believe this is all part of the Christian Ayatollah's marketing scheme. Next thing you know, you know,

the Jews, the Muslims, the Hindus, the gays, the ethnically ambiguous, the Greeks, the Italians. We're all going back into a waspy wonderland right now. They want this country back. They've had enough of the miscellaneous whites. These waspy finger sniffers have had enough. They've crunched some numbers and they say, give me a major wholesome, you know what, pop star, Taylor Swift.

Now she needs a love interest. How about Bad Bunny? Someone's not listening. How about, how about, Kevin Durant someone is not listening how about Luka Doncic

someone's not listening I said white white as snow I'm talking about football star American Americana Apple Pie give me a name the names gotta work Talking about football star, American, Americana, apple pie.

Give me a name to it. The name's got to work. Travis Kelsey. Travis and Taylor. I mean, you can almost see them shopping at Christmas shops in suburban America, getting little knickknacks, making a bun bread for Christmas, putting a little custard on top. You don't think this is part of the Christian Ayatollah's beginning of a marketing campaign?

Oh, the reporter came over. She's spending Christmas in Kansas City. What a wholesome billionaire multi-megastar. I don't buy it for one second. Look at them even red, which is the color of the KKK. It's actually the color of the Bloods. But let's just say

it's the color of the KKK to keep it going. Look at what's going on here. It looks wholesome. It looks a little too wholesome. They got their Christmas colors on. They're shopping at Christmas shops. They're walking through the mall. The reporter comes over and she cooks him a homemade Cinnabon,

which is a white dessert with white custard on it. There's no peach cobbler. There's no mocha ball. There's no Japanese mocha ice cream. There's no Greek baklava. There's no Japanese mocha ice cream. There's no Greek baklava. There's no Middle Eastern kaleda. Chaluma. Chaluma. It's a Cinnabon she cooks.

She's a Pennsylvania. That's a dog whistle. It's a dog whistle. This whole relationship is a MAGA dog whistle. It is the Marines. a MAGA dog whistle. It is the Marines. It is the Trojan horse for the MAGA Christian Ayatollah. I tell you what's going to happen. Are you listening to me, QAnoners? Trump is just a decoy right now. I don't think that they, I just don't think that they feel like they've gone hard with the abortion thing

right? They federally banned abortion I don't think they think he's got a prayers chance because of his sordid past his wife is a Slovak they don't like that they don't like that one but they like him because he's a wasp right? He's a Germanic wasp

his father was German they like that. The was They like that. The wasps like that. The wasps want their country back. They want it back from the Chinese. They want it back from the miscellaneous and they want it back from the Latinos. And they definitely want it back from the blacks. They want it back from all of us. They want it back from the Jews. They want it back from all the groups. So they're using Trump as a decoy, but who's really going to run last minute? Trump's going to go, going to give his blessing. It's going to happen in Dealey Plaza right there on the X where John F. Kennedy was shot, right? Because that's a statement. We stamping out the dirty Catholics.

We're bringing back white Protestant America. And right there, who's going to show up right out, out of a limo when Trump's given his speech to the people standing right there, who's going to show up right out of a limo when Trump's given his speech to the people? Standing right there. Who's going to jump out? You tell me who you think it is going to be. Well, I think of the name. The guy with the teeth. I got it. Who's coming out of that door? Joel Osteen. Joel Osteen and his coif mullet with his pearly white teeth and his stick figure blonde wife are stepping right up, out onto that holy red carpet, walking right up and getting the blessing from Trump, passing the torch.

He's going to put his hand right on the Bible and he's saying, I'll take it from here, big guy. I'll take it from here. And then he's going to start his sermon while he closes his eyes and he blinks. That's going to be the beginning. You heard it here first. The Travis Taylor romance is just wetting your palate. It's an aperitif. It is an appetizer. It's a tapa. I'm sorry for using a foreign word because those will be banned. You will be able to speak one language in this country. You'll be only able to pray to one God, and that's the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. You won't even be able to mention the Virgin Mary. You won't be able to mention the word priest. It's preacher. He's the

preacher. Catholics, you don't think that they want to make them pay for all the little naughty lists they've been on? There's a lot of priests on the naughty list. The WASPs and the Protestants have had enough. What are they going to do? You think they're going to keep letting China buy up American farmland? You think that's going to happen ad infinitum?

I'm sorry for using a Latin word because I know that I'm going to be put on the naughty list from the wasps as well. For infinity? It ain't happening, infinity. China, you've bought your last farm. You bought your last farm. Joe Lowstein's coming.

He's coming with his double-breasted Arsenio Hall suit and his cheap fucking tie and his $70,000 cash in the goddamn bathroom wall. And he's running for president and he's turning this country into one big mega church. Get your cross, pay for your sins, get ready, hide your scarves, hide your yarmulkes. Chinese, get up off the floor. Pick up your styrofoam containers. Indians, erase the dots. Because Jesus is coming.

Guys, catch me live in Portland, January 11th. Off of Vancouver, January 12th. The Miami Improv, January 12th. Sorry, January 19th through the 21st. Cobbs in San Francisco, February 9th and 10th. Atlanta, February 15th through 17th. San Diego, February 23rd, 24th. Chicago, March 8th.

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