Yannis Pappas Hour - Sex Performance Art with Eva Lovia - LongDays with Yannis Pappas - episode 35

Episode Date: August 29, 2021

Yanni sits down with the beautiful and smart Eva Lovia (Candice Horbacz) to chat about the importance of Onlyfans and the mistake they were making, being bullied as a kid by upstate NY townies, the challenges ofbeing a porn star and married mom, the porn culture and how the business has changed, how neighbors, family and strangers can be cruel when they find out you are a porn actress and finally, transgender porn and it’s appeal to straight men, and she gives her advice to any girls getting into the sexual performance arts today. She also has a surprise gift for Yanni! Wasdadealis! Follow Eva (Candace) podcast here: https://youtube.com/c/CandiceHorbacz Sponsors: Manly Bands Sponsors:    Manly Bands   https://manlybands.com/?utm_content=longdays&utm_source=veritone&utm_medium=podcast&utm_term=july&utm_campaign=mens-wedding-ring   Candid https://go.candidco.com/lp/audio/fumes?utm_source=VT&utm_medium=POD&utm_campaign=GROW_XX_SK_SS_PR_XXX_XX_VR_XX&utm_term=XX_US048S_XX_XX_XX_XX_XX_FUMES&utm_content=XX_XX_XX_XX_XX_POD60&auto_apply_promo_code=FUMES   GroundNews: ground.news/fumes     For an additional bonus episode every week and more Yantent, click here and support the show: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdays   The show goes out every Saturday night at 9 PM est. to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram!   Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis Pappas   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up everybody? Welcome to another episode of Long Days with me and a guest. We're doing a little long day chat today with my good friend, your good friend. Depending on the context you've seen her in, you know, you may know her different ways. She's a podcaster. She is a adult film star. Sure. That's the most PC way to do it.

Has PC hit the world? Oh, yeah. I would call you a performer? Yeah, or entertainer. If you say porn star, it's aggressive to the other person. You're trying to save them the embarrassment more than yourself. So that's true. Right.

Yeah. It's like, cause you're being aggressive. Straight to it. Yeah. There's no warming up. Even though the word stars in it, I think it's just the porn you're leading with porn.

Okay. Right. So you gotta like ease them into it. You're right. I liked it. Porn was really, pornography is kind of like, it sounds,

yeah, it sounds like a curse. Like porno. I like sexual performance arts. There you go. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, I'm an artist. You're an artist. Yeah. You truly are.

And when you meet somebody, can you tell if they've masturbated to you? Yeah. You can. Yeah. Like from like across the block. You can see it. It's like an energy, yeah. Yeah. Like, cause they kind of recognize can. Yeah. It's like from like across the block. You can see it. It's like an energy. Yeah.

Like, cause they kind of recognize you. Right. And then there's like a, like a moment of like embarrassment. Cause they're like, I want to go say hi, but then she's going to know that like, I've seen her naked and I've been intimate. Like, you know, it's this whole thing. That's a, yeah. Cause we like in similar, you know, we're in similar fields in the way.

Well, we're both podcasters now. You got a great podcast and we're both parents. Yes. Yeah. And we're performers. Yes. Yes.'re performers yes yes check check check check check check but um similar in the way that like when you get recognized as a sexual performance artist i said i had porno in my head and i went i've been corrected i've been corrected by a woke sexual performer no no how dare you i know i know you're not um but like so when you're like a comic who's kind of gotten a little popular on the internet, there's like a group of people that know you, you know, and they do that kind of thing.

Like, is that, especially because I got popular a while ago for characters. So people would always like give me that, like, is that him? And so you probably get that at first too, right? Like, wait, is that her? And then like, it goes like, oh yeah, that's her. Yeah. Yeah. It's actually more when I'm out with my husband that it's like more frequent because I think

he like verifies that it is me, right? It's like, okay, well there's like two points where now I'm sure. Cause he's, I force him on my Instagram and stuff every now and again. So your husband, your husband was. No, he's a regular guy. He's a regular guy. Yeah, regular guy. So how do they recognize him?

From my Instagram stories. Oh, you throw him in there. And he gets so mad. He's a regular guy yeah regular so how do they recognize him from my instagram stories oh yeah you throw him in there and he gets so mad he's like would you turn that off it's good that you married someone who's not a performer i couldn't do that i did the same thing yeah i mean two egos two narcissists can't do it and honestly like there is truth to that right like you have to have like a little bit hopefully like a healthy dose of narcissism if you're a performer because like you want the attention you don't want to go out there and just like don't look at me yeah yeah wait i really gotta take my i can't yeah yeah exactly yeah so healthy dose unless it's that niche of porn right is there that niche of porn where it's like shy girl yeah but like for real because that's the thing about me porn like when i watch sexual

performance arts i mean i i gotta feel like the people are like into it. I have like this thing where I'm like, does she want to be there? Does he want to be there? Do they like each other? I kind of a girl brain in that way. I'm going like, is everyone having a good time? I want to make sure that this is ethical. I can't deal with like the dead eye kind of like, yes, daddy.

Yes. Yeah. You can almost picture them scrolling on instagram below below the frame when do i get paid yeah yeah so uh but it's become very niche now it's become like oh in some ways it's become in my opinion a little too niche where it's like you you can find like the most specific porn you're into and then you can almost get hooked on that a little bit because there's something about sexual performance arts that is,

is there something unnatural about watching on a screen with no smells, you don't know the person, no context, whatever? So they've done neuroimaging on this actually and it does show up differently. It's very similar, but I can't tell you what the differences are,

but like a neurosurgeon or neuroscientist could pinpoint like, yes, this is them climaxing out of porno and this was them doing it in real life. However, when it comes to like benefits of like relieving anxiety and all of that stuff, it's actually the same. So you can get a lot of benefits from it. So contrary to all the anti-porn people it does there are like healing benefits to it in moderation like anything else that makes sense that makes that makes sense because it does there is a little bit of a stress relief when you for sure when you

when you bust a knot yeah when you uh when you squeeze out the glow it says it's like one of the only moments like throughout your day that you actually have like a clear mind there's like almost like you're transcending in that moment and then the rest of it's like a gerbil and they're just spinning yeah well there's that moment of clarity comes for a guy at least which is your demo right yeah that comes after a little bit of like where am i what did i just do why am i scooting around uh you know because you do the scoot i don't know if you know about the port. I don't know about the scoot. See, because you can't see, you can't see your audience.

It's probably a good thing though. Yes, it's a very good thing. Because what happens is, like guys, I don't know if all guys do this, Jessie, you confirm. Is there's like a, unless like there's a guy

who's like a, the masturbator who masturbates too much is the guy who's like prepared with like a sock or like a shirt. He has a, he has a masturbation room or area. But the guy who's like prepared with like a sock or like a shirt. He has a, he has a masturbation room or area.

But the guy who's just like sneaking away from his wife or just kind of like yanking one out here and there, he does like an embarrassed scoot where if like someone broke into his house or apartment at that moment,

he just has his pants around his ankles and he's trying to scoot to like a paper towel. And then there's just this wipe thing and then it's like dry everywhere and then you're just like, ah, fuck it, I only have dinner with my family later.

Nobody's gonna, you know, because you really should clean yourself up. Yeah. But God, you just go like that and you're like, should I even wash my hands? You're like, nah, it dries, it's fine. So are you allowed to masturbate? I'm allowed, yeah.

You're allowed, okay, that's good. I'm not like a Mormon or whatever. Well, I mean, you'd be shocked in some relationships, like the wife or the girlfriend or whatever actually gets really mad. Right. No, that would be, yeah. That's weird. That would be a little controlling, right?

That would be like David Hitler. A little bit, yeah. Seriously. Okay, well, speaking of which, so this is actually like a perfect segue to my gift that I brought you. You brought a gift? I did. I brought a gift.

Oh, my God. All right, can right so i guess yeah sure i guess first well it's in a generic brown paper bag so i'm gonna assume it's not from bloomies it could be from a bodega could be from a bodega okay all right it's phallic that's for sure it's phallic um i's for sure. It's phallic. I'm going to guess it's either a, here's my deal. This is how good I am. It's phallic. We'll start there. Okay.

I'm going to guess it's either a case of booze, because it feels like that, like it could be booze in it, or it's an electronic pussy. Eh. Okay. So I heard you on Rogan. It's the fleshlights. I was close. Yes. Eh. Okay. So I heard you on Rogan. It's the fleshlights. I was close. Yes. Yes.

Yeah. And you were saying that you haven't tried one and you went on like a four or five minute conversation. So I figured I would get you said fleshlight. So this is where the babies are made, huh? Yeah, exactly. So you don't have to do the scoop. Yeah.

You know what I mean? But wait, there's like a- You take that out. That's so you know it's not used. I was about to say, there's like a there's like a britney spears device in there didn't she have something put in there no what oh iud she had yeah that's which is not a not a improvised explosive device right in iraq they used to do those yeah no banger and then they're like yeah somebody yells somebody else ali akbar So is this modeled after someone?

Well, so I went back and forth. I was like, well, do I get you a different one? And also, where's the clit? Because it's clitless. And I'm a feminist and I will not fuck anything where this machine is not getting pleasure either. The molding process is not that intricate, unfortunately. Yeah, so I went back and forth.

I was like, do I get someone else's or do I just get mine because I have them? So that's unfortunately. Yeah. So I went back and forth. I was like, do I get someone else's or do I just get mine because I have them? So that's mine. Yeah. You know, I think I'm allowed to masturbate. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to fuck this thing, though. Use it with. Is that cheating, though?

No. Because I'm not fucking. This is. Yeah. So wait a second. Wait a second. If. If you're. Because Jesse's an artist.

He's like a painter and stuff and a sculptor or whatever. So what increases in value is if you control the supply. So have you ever thought about like you do limited prints, right? Like so Jesse will do like a sculpture and then make like a couple of copies of it in addition. So it's like 10 max. Have you ever thought about like limiting these? Because these puppies, if you limit them to like 10, you can sell one of these motherfuckers for like a hundred million.

If there's only 10 other. That's true. Unfortunately, like I don't own the rights to it. I just get a little piece of the sales. The patriarchy owns the rights to this? The patriarch does, yeah. You don't own the rights of your own vagina? No.

So the flashlight does? Yes. So you sold your- It's licensed too. Yeah, you sold out to the man. I did. Yeah. Now this, it's embarrassing enough

scooting over with your pants around your ankles. I can't imagine then scooting over to the sink and still holding this thing. Oh, I forgot to put my pussy down. Well, now they have a machine for that thing, so you lock it in, and it's this really big contraption, and it syncs with whatever movie you're watching, so it goes at the pace of the performer. Oh, wow.

So it gets a lot more intense than just that. I'm like, well, what do you do with that? Wow. This is going to stay on the set and it will stay unshackled on the set um that's wild to think about when porn gets to that point where it's like completely virtual reality and you can't tell the difference like you have things like you're hooked up to a full machine yeah like the full ar experience yeah yeah have like companies approached you or do you think about like that era coming and being involved in it so i've done some of the vr stuff and i i hated it like so i

was like i'm not filming this again it was like really really uncomfortable for me and i was like i don't really know what's happening um so did they do? So they had like three different GoPros angled and I guess that was important. And then like the positioning for like the sexual positions was just like, it didn't make sense. Like there was nothing happening for me. It's like the way to get everything on camera, you're basically almost faking it.

And then it's just like killer on your legs and everything. It's a very long day. And then, I don't know, it's just like killer on your legs and everything it's a very long day and then i don't know it's just that was i like how you're you're an extra like you're an expert in that field and you called them out on their fake science for fucking that would be like if a physicist walked in goes something wrong with this equation you're like this is not a natural fucking position no it just wasn't wasn't my jam so what did you do did you be like uh did you do it yeah i did it I mean I liked the person that I was working with

and the company was fine but I was like this is just not worth my time it was like a 12 hour shoot day right that's crazy

now how you know a lot of these guys that are in porn they're like there's never small dicks they're always like

I've seen a couple that were like Asian no I actually don't know a lot of male Asian performers yeah they're always like a couple that were like asian no i actually don't know a lot of um male asian performers yeah they're like yeah i mean they don't it's a they have like their own there's some average there's some like average dudes yeah yeah there's some average dude so there are a few averages when i when i grew up when we were growing up our era right i'm in my

40s um randy west was do you know randy west that's a shame you don't even know the history of your own i'm sorry if i didn't know fucking richard pryor randy west was hilarious because he had like pretty much a less than average peen okay like his glue gun was like i would say probably a fiver which is pretty average right yeah um but? Yeah. But for a porn star, it's like the porn stars are like the basketball athletes. It's like you go down to play pickup ball. You're going to have average size guys. You go on the pros as a big guy. Same thing in the bedroom.

Average guys, then you go on porn. You're like, these guys are tall. Their dicks are tall. Their dicks can dunk. And so he had an average size thing, but he was so funny. He would like say funny stuff while he was banging and stuff like that. He had a gut. And that was back when there was more of like a,

I think they kind of still do the storylines a little bit. Oh, yeah. Like I did a little research on yours for the podcast. And there was some storylines and stuff, but they used to do like full movies. they used to do like full movies i used to do the movies you used to do the movies yeah yeah yeah we did like uh kill bill we did anchorman um what else do we do john wick and what were what was the name of it how did you because there's always a funny sometimes i don't know if we they we didn't really get like clever at the titles it titles. It was, like, Kill Bill, Triple X, and Obligedly Tarantino watched it,

which is really weird. Yeah, that is weird. Yeah, like, well, our acting fucking sucks, but hopefully the sex scenes are hot. I don't know what to tell you. But we actually had the stuntmen for the Power Rangers on set, and, like, we had, like, the full,

I don't know what you call them, when you have, like, the cranes and, like, the wires and you're, like, leaping through the air. Like, we actually did the full, I don't know what you call them. When you have like the cranes and like the wires and you're like leaping through the air. Like we actually did that. Do you know what those are called? What are those called? Stunt stuff. Stunt stuff.

You were looking at, yeah, you started doing a little research of your own. Everybody would be zoned off and it was like, oh yeah, sorry. Oh yeah. It's, can I suggest a name? Sure. If you, cause if you ever, are you in production for yourself? You have your own thing now, right? Yeah, I do. I suggest a name? Sure. Are you in production for yourself?

You have your own thing now, right? Yeah, I do. Are you doing movies? No. No. I don't have the time for that. Right, but are you directing and producing? Are you going to direct and produce them?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I do all of the jam. I did, in the beginning, I was spending pretty significant money to do proper films, and then I quickly realized no one buys those more than if i do it off of my iphone right right right so then i just was being time and cost

effective it's like stand-up like we used to use elaborate productions now you can just throw a clip of your iphone you can take this name i don't think it's been used okay harry pooter and the sorcerer's bone Bone. Oh my God. Is that a good one? See if that one's been used. That's a good one. Now you're very interesting because you're very smart. You studied psychology, you graduated,

and now you got a podcast where you have like real thinkers on, not like idiots like me. I can't go on your podcast. I don't, I mean, I'm not an expert. So what's that like? What's that like being known from one thing and then like becoming known for something else? And they're so different, you know?

It was terrifying. I mean, I didn't like take that leap for a long time because I just knew people were gonna be like you're like who are you to have an opinion on anything right it's almost like you discredit yourself as soon as you do porn um and you're not allowed to come out of that box like that's where you will live and die and you can no longer like evolve grow or change so I just started seeing like a lot of people having crazy conversations and like well if they can do it I can do it and if I feel feel like i'm adding value to the conversation or like a different perspective Then i'll just do that and it's

Like a way of almost like giving back to my platform because I feel like When you have so many people that follow you if you're constantly like just peddling stuff To make money off of them like that's kind of not ethical, right? Like I want to like give something back. So the podcast is giving something back nice yeah that is nice you can uh you're giving back in a lot of ways right i guess you have because the way you described it you've given a lot of stress relief to people for one moment for a couple moments now you did you like how into psychology were you when you studied or was one of those like majors were like for me i studied history i love history but i studied history in english because i was just like you know it was liberal arts or were you like in the

psychology i was into it but i feel like i'm more into it now than when i was like forced to read specific text textbooks or like jam for a test or something like that but now it's like something i'm trying to keep up with as much as i can and um what is your insight into like men oh god like i because someone who has a background you do uh you have and what you do it's like you you you must have like a like a particular insight into are men really that simple where we're just like these visual idiots who want to see like uh like a leg or an ankle and just and are we easily manipulative do we just want sex no i don't think so i think it depends on what you say simple is, right? Like I do think

that when it comes to like our, even our internal dialogue, what's going on in my head and yours is probably vastly different, right? And the way that we interpret things is vastly different. Pretty sure I'm looking at something that's a lot more attractive than what you're looking at. Yeah, so what's in your mind is going to be, okay, could do this. He could do a little plastic surgery, pull the eyes apart. There's a lot he can do oh my gosh yeah no but i think i think it's just we're different i think that instead of trying to like make each other i don't know like think the same way or act the same way or be turned on by the same things i think that's like a recipe for disaster you're never gonna succeed at that so i think it's just like trying to understand the other person but no i mean we both like seek out pleasure

right it's just in different ways like men tend to be more visual and they don't need like that romantic connection or like that investment per se like it's a lot easier for you to get where you need to be and then women tend to want that investment from men and that's fine but you have to define like what you want out of the relationship or what you want out of like that moment that you're seeking pleasure. Like, are you just watching a film and like it's just, you know, five to whatever many minutes and you just you're there to do business or are you dating someone? So hopefully you show up differently in each scenario. Right.

You know what I mean? Right, right, right. I do know what you mean. When you met your husband, was that did he know your work before? Was it like I was he like this was just what I imagined it would be like? So it's so weird. So he tells me and like, I've not known him to be like a liar or anything, but he was like this playboy, like always dating 10 girls,

like getting like constantly I would walk into a bar and this is before I knew him. And I'd get seen and slapped in the face all the time. Like was who he was right just didn't give a shit and he was just there to have fun um and he was like well I'm never gonna like really invest in a relationship because like I want to be a successful like entrepreneur and I don't want to give up my dreams for like a woman and children and I like to be like have that sexual liberation and that just doesn't exist I basically would have to have that sexual liberation and that just doesn't exist I basically would have to marry a porn star like that's what he told himself growing up he wished it into reality yeah yeah so I was um I was just doing webcamming when I met him so just

like solo stuff and I was thinking about getting into girl girls like very soft core which you started as right for a long time so he's like this is fantastic like i don't have an issue with this it was like when i switched to um more extreme or explicit scenes that that was a conversation and there was definitely like a lot of bumps and just trying to like navigate it together so there was it was a little bit of an issue because feelings are involved and stuff like that because some some people people are different like you said and some people enjoy that some people like actually like watching their wife get you know have have sexual performance arts with another guy um but generally most guys don't most people don't most

women wouldn't like it either so i get it so that's interesting to know that so how did you navigate that lots of like just open communication and like honesty right like he had to trust that he could like bring something to me and i wasn't going to be like well how dare you we made this decision together so like having that space for him to like be like you're i don't know what to do with this everyone's calling you a whore and everyone's calling me a simp and i don't know what to do and um me not getting mad at him for that and like just like letting him feel what he was feeling. That's really mature.

Are people still doing that? Like calling the whore? Oh my gosh, he gets called a cuck all the time or he'll be like, your wife's a whore. You're a pussy to him. His DMs are filled all the time. It's crazy. That's so crazy.

I know. You would think, that's the thing. It's like, I don't know if we thing it's like i don't know if we deserve freedom i really don't know if we deserve free what do people want it's like you don't want that it's like you're you're watching it you're jerking off to it but like i'm the whore and it's like would you rather live in a society where there were women were not allowed to do that or people weren't allowed to do that or it's really crazy that people are still like that. It's super hypocritical, right? So if you look, did you follow that whole Turning Point USA thing

with Brandy Love getting kicked out of one of their events in Florida? No. So the MILF category is interesting because there's really only a handful of performers in it. So the ones that are doing well are super famous. So she went. She's a very openly conservative porn star so she goes to this event just like going to listen like not speaking nothing just bought a vip ticket so

people started to recognize her and ask her for pictures and she was dressed like very modestly like you would think that she was just like any other mom that was there and um word got around like do you know who that is like porn star blah blah and they kicked her out and told her she's not allowed to attend the rest of the event that they were going to refund her money but i was like well did you kick out everyone that recognized her and asked her for a picture yeah isn't that strange right we're just going off of morality yeah that's probably why they kicked her out there like too many people here recognize our cover is going to be blown as absolute fucking hypocrites yeah it's so like the the gig should be up with that it's like it's so obvious

the more someone represses something or the more someone it's thou doth protest too much it's like you're kicking her out that means all all the guys in here know who she is and and it's not because they recognize it from the supermarket no it's yeah they're jerking off to her and that's what it is it's um it's really hypocritical it's really crazy that that's not the first thing people like say or think of and like hey man like you're being a hypocrite you know it like we haven't evolved past that as humans to like instead of you know like instead of oppressing someone else, realize that it's because we have an insecurity that we're trying to hide. 100%.

The argument is like, oh, I could never do it. Or I would feel like shit if I did this. Or I would feel horrible if my husband was doing that. And that's fine. But like just because you feel a way doesn't mean that that's the same situation for me. Right. Just because you're ashamed or insecure or like overprotective, jealous, whatever that is. Like I don't have to own that

that's not my stuff that's the perfect point that's the perfect that's why we don't deserve freedom that point that's exactly the point i've thought that many times and it's not just with that context but like any context right so it's like when you meet a conservative and they're like they don't like a trans person or you meet a woke person and they don't like someone who likes family or you're going like oh so you want your type of freedom isn't the definition of freedom is like coexisting with differences and letting people do what they want that's what when you follow freedom to its logical conclusion everyone's doing something a little different because they're free because the opposite of that is everyone doing the same thing which is kind of like that fascist that fascist tendency that everyone has that they don't see it's like a

blind spot where they're going like these motherfuckers these fucking cooks these motherfuckers they're against freedom and they're like why and they're like because they don't like this this and this and you're like oh they don't like the stuff you like right you know you're going oh yeah you're right but my stuff is the good stuff. And you're like, is it? How? Because I'm free. And it's like, well, you sound like you fucking want them to not be free because they're free. And this is what they choose to do.

It's like that kind of, it's like that blind spot in freedom. It's like that kind of, that oxymoron that we can't get past and can't see. Like, if someone wants to rub shit on their chest, then some people get off with that. Like, you know, you're going to kick them out of a fucking meeting because the guy likes to rub. He's not murdering kids, you know? So it is crazy.

It is crazy that people do. People are so different that the niches, I think, are showing that off now. Like, how fragmented porn has gotten. It's gotten so fragmented. We can find it. I've seen, unfortunately, when you're younger, I think they police it better now,

but I saw guys, women stomping on shit puppies and somebody gets off on that. Oh, my God. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I've seen on some of those old darker sites. Okay. And I'm like, Jason Rouse, my old friend used to, I don't know how he finds those things,

but he would send them and trick you. He'd be like, oh, and then you'd open it and you'd be like, then there's guys who just like to get kicked in the nuts. Yeah. That's still a thing. Yeah. That's a thing, right? Yeah.

I've never done it. I've been like requested. I'm like, I'm not okay with that. That's nuts. Yeah. That's too much for me's like it hurts i never understood the fusion of like isn't violence the opposite i can understand a good hair pull but i mean fucking me kicking me into dick earrings yeah that's no good no that hurt like

that like physiologically hurts and i don't know how and then you'll see them they'll be hard while they're doing it and you're like how is that even how is that even possible it's like someone punching you in the face and you're getting hard but that's the the gap that's the range of like psychology in humans like and i wanted to ask you about this because i know so many people are curious about it and i know i've done a lot of research and i'm obsessed with like there's a few things that have taken me down i get obsessed with things i'm obsessed with personality i'm obsessed with hyenas we had a podcast and i'm obsessed with trans people like i did a character that was trans i'm like being born because i believe i truly believe that the

majority of them at least like they they feel like they have like a female brain and they've done cat scans yeah they have dysphoria and they feel like a female and you look throughout history there's always been like effeminate guys and if the if science was you know if science was there they would have done that they would have been like you don't make me into a girl or whatever um so what is your opinion on guys who find trans porn specifically erotic i don't know that's actually one of the number one um categories in porn i know that's why i ask and it's like number four or three or i think it's just it's like so unusual right like maybe they don't have the opportunity to like exchange with that in real life and it's like the only place that they get to see that you know what i mean like it's yeah

like i think it's just like the nuance of it maybe yeah just like that fascination yeah it's like the only place that they get to see that you know what i mean like it's good yeah like i think it's just like the nuance of it maybe yeah just like that fascination yeah it's um they've also done studies and it's like no gay guys are into it like it's all straight guys straight guys yeah or like i guess by but the majority like the overwhelming majority are straight guys and i wonder it's weird it. It's an interesting thing because I know a lot of those women, like they may get the full surgery where they turn it into, you know, they cave it in.

Yeah. Where they slice and put it in. Yeah. They make the outie into an innie. Right. But that's not what the guys who watch it want. And like,

so in that point, like, so it's weird to me because I'm like, are they happy doing it like i'm curious i'm an empath i'm an empath i need to know what what you're feeling do you enjoy it when it's happening trans porn no no first of all yeah do you like trans porn it's not my jam not your jam not my jam okay but do you do you when you were like doing scenes do you

are you having a good time? It depends. Right. It's like any day at work, really. Are you having a good time right now? Yeah, I'm having a great time. But sometimes like you have a great day and the chemistry is there and like the set and like the crew and everything is amazing.

And then sometimes you're like, when do I get to leave? This is horrible. Right. And I've like walked off of sets before. So I had like the biggest reputation of being a diva. But I think as a woman in that industry saying no is like. I put it in my rider. I need to have cold cuts on ice.

No. A bottle of champagne. Oh, I wish those demands were even possible in that industry. It's like saying who you're going to work with, right? Like I had a yes list. So like that's like unheard of. Usually you have a no list and you'll work with anyone else. Like I had a yes list. It was the short list of men um that i would work with and that was it

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anyone would want like i said the selection is so big it's hard to choose so um that's the only problem you're gonna have is picking one so check them out manly bands i love them so we were talking about um that short list of yes men that you most most girls have a no list right you had a yes list right did that that did that mean that you there was nobody you wouldn't work with no so it was pretty much like that was the only oh the only one so you're basically saying no to everyone else so what was the determining factors for that? I asked a couple of my girlfriends that had been shooting boy girl for a lot longer than me. So like who is like just a nice, like pleasant person to be around on set, right? Like I don't want, like I've been on sets where the guy and he wasn't there for me.

It was like for another scene. And he's like, I just can't talk to the female talent before my scene. Don't even talk to me. I was like, whoa, what is that about? Like you're about to go have sex like maybe make her feel comfortable if she needs to talk to you talk to her right that's a dick move total dick move so just like asking like who they've enjoyed working with who's professional who's been in for a long time who's being safe outside of work like that was like a really important factor for me especially like towards the end of my mainstream career um so

just like a lot of things yeah because i've read that you um you had some critiques oh yeah on the culture and practices more so than culture um and that was one of the concerns you had one of the critiques you had was about the safety right of uh what those people were doing outside and condoms and not condoms. Right. And that they would lose, they always said, ah, we'd lose money,

which is true. I gotta say, as a part-time consumer, the condom does, because it's fantasy, you're like, ah, if I met someone, I'd have to wear a condom.

But like, if you watch it, you don't wanna see the condom. But then again, when there was that little period where they did condoms all the time, you kind of adapted to it. You got used to it. You got want to see the condom but then again when there was that little period where they did condoms all the time you kind of adapted to it you got used to it got to kind of like like ads and youtube videos at first they really annoyed i remember when they first switched to that um i was like this sucks i hate it it's gonna ruin it it's gonna and then now you're just kind of used to it yeah you take your opportunity like that's when you like go to use the bathroom or

grab a snack yeah come back to the yeah yeah you just kind of get used to it so um tell me about that like was that a conflict for you or did you make the guys go through extra measures so when i was shooting in the uk i was like a lot more stringent like i made the test be within seven days because like testing there is really sketchy um like they're just known for fudging tests so that you can work and it's just not like the safest environment and that's a word of mouth stuff or is there like yeah yeah yeah but it's like from reliable sources like other girls that are like big uk uh performers or european performers um and i'm pretty sure like when it comes to testing positive for certain things, I feel like their rate is higher, but I can't like validate that.

I mean, it used to be like these companies would be like, well, she can use a condom if she wants to. Like, that's not true. Like performers don't have a say over that. You have a 14 day window. So again, it's just like being very careful who you're working with. Because you'll hear through the grapevine, like certain people are being unsafe outside of the work environment.

And it's like, like well there's a big like on like uncertain area within 14 days right like there's an incubation period for a lot of things and just because you show negative doesn't mean that it's accurate and a lot of people are continuously dosing throughout right so they're constantly on like a z-pack so that they might have like chlamydia or gonorrhea but it's not going to show up because they're just constantly on medication for it wow it got yeah it got really really really sketchy towards the end and finally i was like i just this risk is too high for me so i'm out interesting so that's why you kind of got one of them several reasons yeah yeah what were the other reasons um i i know being a mom it

became that was like way that was after yeah yeah it's like, I like believe that like the universe or God or whatever will like give you signs for things. Like I firmly believe that. So I feel like I just had all of these hints that were like time to go kind of a thing. So like really bad contracts that fell through for like really unethical reasons. Like I would show up, fly all the way to the UK for a scene and they'd be like, ohethical reasons like I would show up fly all the way to the UK for a scene and they'd be like oh today's like a gangbang I don't do that like I was like always like a pretty performer I didn't really do anything super intense so they would try

to like bully me into scenes and they're like well maybe because she's all the way across into another country and she doesn't know anyone that she's just gonna buckle and I was like you don't know me that's not happening um so that just like started happening more and more. So finally I went to Twitter about it because I was like, well, if they're doing this to me and I have like hundreds of thousands of followers, like I'm one of the top performers in the entire industry. At one point, like on search engines, I was beating Obama because we did like this campaign, right? Imagine what they're doing to some like 19 year old. It was the Pornhub Sex in Space thing. If we got to a million

dollars, we would have sex in zero gravity in space. Did it happen? No. That would have been really cool. Yeah, that would have been really cool. Jeff Bezos would have been like... Beat him all there. Yeah, I'm here first, but we can combine missions. He's single now.

Yeah, I'm still looking for and so is his eye yeah kids got a disobedient eye he's always had one eye on space so that so um that they tried to bamboozle you they tried to like and like once you're there they're like ah she's just gonna do it because she wants to get paid and you were like no you're like not happening so you just fly out of there and go back no so i, like, picking one of the performers that was on my yes list, and I was like, he's the only one I work with. And then everyone else on the scene was like, why is she not working with anyone else?

Like, she thinks she's too good for it. And I was like, this just wasn't discussed, and it's not something I want to do. It's not. Do sexual performance artists have managers or representation or anyone? Agents, but they're, like, the worst. Oh, no, they, like, they ride the fence. perform sexual performance artists have managers or representation or anyone agents agents protect your worst oh no they like are they ride the fence so it's like they want to keep the age or the companies happy so that they get booked just because they get a booking fee but then they

also want to keep the girls happy so the girls stay with them and then they get like a 25 of them so like you're technically not supposed to double dip is what i heard um but they're certainly doing it so like they straddle offense like oh my, I'm so sorry you had a terrible day on set. Like I will talk to them and nothing happens. They know because they're getting money both ways. How has the internet and like independent performing changed that? Has that liberated sexual performers?

Do you mind if I throw a snooze in? No, go for it. Thank you. You want one? No, thanks. It's all you. Yeah, I'm addicted. It was honestly the best thing for performers

was these other third-party platforms like OnlyFans or when you were allowed to send nudes on Snapchat, that kind of a thing, because you no longer were beholden to these mega companies or this big monopoly. It was like, I get to decide who I'm with, even if it's just a solo, right like i can now do less extreme acts um it usually takes like 10 minutes out of my day to post a piece of content versus being on set my longest day was like 18

hours um right so like when you're comparing those things it's like a no-brainer so you have like full autonomy over like your brand and what you're going to be producing. Right. And then now we're like, well, oh shit, where's the next platform? Because, you know, no space is safe. Well, that just happened. I don't know when you're watching this, but it will be recent news no matter what. But that's big.

I mean, that's really hurts a lot of people. Oh, for sure because that that became a very lucrative especially during the pandemic when sexual performers could not make money i mean like me and you another thing in common is like that's we have to be with people and so uh you know podcasts were good for us comedians and fans only for sexual performers was like the patreon for sexual performers and people started making a lot of money and you have a page and it's obviously a lucrative page so what is the deal with that right now like i know you're wondering what you said everyone's wondering what the next platform is but is there one what are your thoughts on it uh shutting down oh man so i i understand like if you have this brand and you want to pivot it and you're like the founder or the CEO, like that's obviously within your right.

And like, no one usually knows like what your vision is besides you. I also know that just to like get a bigger eval, like you just want to get like more seed, like funding, whatever it is in order to do that transition. like, you have to ask yourself, like, to what point are you willing to, like, push those ethics, though? Because if you built a brand based off of a marginalized group of people, right, like, you can't argue that they're not, like, sex workers, porn stars, like, once it's found out what you do, you can't get a regular job. I mean, we've lost loans because of it. I live in the South, so prominent families in our city

will tell other people not to associate with my husband and I because of it. There's this huge cost. That's infuriating. That's really infuriating. You never turn on the news and hear about a bunch of porn stars holding up a bank or robbing a store

or secretly fucking children. I mean, Catholic priests are still like upstanding members. And I'm not saying those priests are molesting, but it's like there's something wrong in that organization where there's like been the like endemic, like mass rape of children for maybe 2000 years. Like that just came to a light and still, you know,

it's like father, you're called father and treated with reverence and all that shit. And if you're a porn star doing something that is hurting nobody, giving people pleasure, giving people fantasies, pleasure adults, like, fantasies, pleasure adults. Like, you know, it's crazy. It's like porn stars.

I'm sorry. You're fine. Sexual performers, sexual performing stars. It's actually, you can argue for the morality of it. You can argue that it gives people, you know, humans were, you know, we're anatomically anchored to our needs. Men want to fuck other stuff. Shit, not other stuff. I meant pussy, stuff.

Women, other women or trans or guys, whatever is consenting adult, things. If you're Taliban, goats, whatever. You know when the Taliban are fucking hopped up on poppy seed fucking heroin you know that they fuck a few goats yeah anyway I'm getting sidetracked

but you can argue for the morality of it just like you can argue for the morality of prostitution I know this sounds crazy it's your body you do what you want

like you look at the countries that have made it safe and regulated it and whatever and there's tax dollars there it's good for society it's safe for the women it's the oldest profession like if there's tax dollars there. It's good for society. It's safe for the women. It's the oldest profession.

Like if there's a war or a famine, it's good to be able to sell your pussy. Can't sell dick. I guess you can. You kind of can. You got to have a good one. I can't sell dick. You got to have a good one.

But it also, this is going to sound crazy, but I'm just saying i'm just saying if if prostitution was legal um and some of those guys who end up like shooting up schools and shit like that because they can't get any women and they're too shy or whatever maybe they could pay for it and have the experience of being with a beautiful woman that you know maybe that's crazy logic i don't know i'm not gonna say because they can't fuck a beautiful woman that you know maybe that's crazy logic i don't know i'm not going to say because they can't fuck a beautiful woman they shot up the school but there's a you can make arguments at certain people that would they would have an outlet i mean we're so tied to our

sexual needs and stuff like that and um some guys just don't have game i've heard peterson actually make a similar argument which was the the reason that certain cultures adrian peterson or jordan peterson okay because adrian peterson is not a good would not be good no jordan peterson and he was he was like linking um like sexual repression to violence right and saying in a lot of the societies where like sex is really um like censored and where the women are kind of you know blanketed all of these things like you tend to see a lot more violence um i mean that is like i don't even think you need a degree to understand how obvious that is um hell yeah yeah yeah i mean uh because the women don't have rights they they're uh they're uh they're uh subjugated and they don't have a voice.

They don't have representation anywhere. Their culture doesn't value their input. They're seen as having a role. And of course, that makes sense, even though I'm sure he understands it at a more sophisticated level. Yeah, I mean, and always when you come up with these rapists or killers,

the violence and sex is kind of fucked up it's like intertwined in a bad way right yeah so uh the more repression the worse yeah like prohibition has never worked right no when has it worked no it doesn't work it does not work um in fact um when you we're just talking about catholic priests there has to be some connection with that yeah sexual repression there has to be in violence yes there i mean there has to be there's otherwise you're going because people are like nobody's really figured out what it is yeah but it like has to be that you you you give a guy a job and you say if you come you're bad you're going to hell right um you know i i don't believe that it just attracts all these pedophiles. Because when you look at the numbers, like the percentage of pedophiles in the Catholic Church does not equal the percentage of pedophiles that there are in like society.

Like, I mean, it's so prevalent. Like, I know people who've been molested by a priest. Let's say it's like COVID. Yeah, same. It's like you know someone who knows someone who had COVID. It's like you know someone who knows someone who's been molested by a priest Let's say, it's like COVID. It's like you know someone who knows someone who had COVID. It's like you know someone who knows someone who's been molested by a priest. It's so fucking common.

And that's in the first world. I can only imagine what's happening in the third world where the Catholic Church is like the only functioning thing in Africa and certain Latin American countries and whatnot. The poverty and those people have no voice. So I can only imagine how high it is there. There has to be some link between the repressive philosophy

of Catholicism that makes them do that. You can't have sex with women, you can't marry, you can't use your dick, and it's got to somehow make it weird, right? And that's where you're kind of, that's why I'm interested in you because you're a psychology major and you're kind of that's why i'm interested in you because you're a psychology you're a psychology major and you're a sexual performer so you know men's lusts you know

how men so you think there truly is a link between repression and violence oh for sure yeah yeah and can you see it like in certain performers and other ones like certain guys that you can tell that they're a little more violent so the thing is is i never had like super close outside relationships with anyone like to where we were friends or got to know them like who they really were off of set but like there's definitely some men in the business that like get off on being like a little bit more rough with the female performers like i didn didn't work with any of them. Um, and I think the issue with that was a lot of the girls, especially the younger ones that were in, like thought it was hot or like, weren't really understanding what it was about. Right. Like,

cause I like, don't get me wrong. There's times where like, I love having rough sex, right? Like if you're in a safe space with someone that you trust, that can be great. Like that can be great. But if I don't know you and we didn't like establish boundaries and like you're not going to know especially when i'm my job is to perform for a camera like what's going on inside my head so if you just like punch me on set that's a huge fucking problem but it almost became like a badge of honor for some of these performers and they were like i can handle that right like i'm an extreme performer and it's like, no, that's not okay. Right. It's not okay.

Was that typically younger? Yeah. Yeah. Or ones that maybe had like a really, um, like messy background, which not all performers do. That's the stereotype.

Yeah. I mean, there's a mixed bag, right? Just like anything else. Right. Those were the two of the critiques that I heard you have. One was like, uh, the violent porn being dangerous for younger people because of the context,

lack of context, I should say. Also, like you mentioned earlier in the podcast, like the level of violence with some of the porn, like I'm all about like, you not censoring things freedom of expression obviously but like everything has a boundary right like we don't have complete freedom we never have freedom without responsibilities tyranny right so like where's that line and who's gonna establish it like obviously you don't necessarily want the government to come in and regulate it but who's gonna do it unless it's bill clinton he'll be like all right we'll have a long discussion we'll figure out he'll make it good um yes that is true and some of the porn you see

it's like whoa right you know you see things like uh when they clamping shit and like people hang like shit that's like and it's not even behind a paywall which is like that was something that you brought up and why it's important to be behind a paywall right so young people can't access it all responsible parties involved the people making it people sign up for adults because at least they can afford a credit card exactly yeah like some kind of barrier right like i have a boy and i mean i'm not ignorant to the fact that at some point he is going to watch porn. And I don't want the first experience that he has to be like Googling something that is really intense and him think that's what that's supposed to look like. Right, right, right, right, right. That seems to be the porn is porn.

We're still it's a like we said, it can be a very moral thing. But that is the danger is that you believe the danger is when a person is at an impressionable age and it kind of shapes their expectations. That seems to be the most common sense concern. That seems to be the most prudent concern. That makes a lot of sense, I think, to everyone. I think all people can agree on that. You would think that, but when I say that, it's almost like the industry thinks i betrayed them interesting

and i'm like we should all be in support because they don't want anything that would might get in the way of a potential dollar don't rock the boat also like i get more money if i can post my explicit content to my twitter right it's just like a very selfish way of thinking instead of thinking like i can make an impact i can use my platform i can use my voice um for something that could hopefully be changed and then also the issue comes in when you have these other companies or whether they're organizations that are putting pressure on like the billing billing companies um or like mind geek in general so they own porn hub and saying we want all porn gone whether or not that's actually happening so it's like if you don't do it someone else is going to do it.

Right. You know what I mean? Right. So they have that pressure to, so that's the culture sort of like, we have to do it because if we don't do it, they'll do it and they'll make money on it. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But you don't think the government should regulate that somehow? Who regulates it then? I don't know. How do you control that? Yeah, I don't know. It's so messy. And I guess like the government does kind of regulate most things right like you have to show your id to buy alcohol right you have to be a certain age to drive a car right certain age consent right so maybe like starting there like maybe saying like there has to be a paywall

that's so simple and maybe saying like there's an age of entry like i don't know 18 to me is too young like that's too young interesting to get a, I don't know, 18 to me is too young. Like, that's too young to make. Interesting, to get a point. I remember reading that you said that. Yeah. So 18, you feel like 18's too young for a porn star? You have, first of all, your brain's not even close to fully developed, right?

Especially if you're a man, but the consequences usually are graver for like women that enter the industry. But it's still not there. And if I think about me when I was 18, like, I was an idiot. Like, there was, like, I'm glad I got in a little bit later

or later for industry standards. I think I was like 21, 22 when I was an idiot. Like there was like, I'm glad I got in a little bit later or later for industry standards. I would think I was like 21, 22 when I started doing film. Um, but if I had gone in at 18, I mean, you, you're making what you think is insane money. You start getting fame. Like you don't have your principles established yet. You don't have your boundaries established yet. So you're just like ready to make a wreck of the rest of your life. established yet so you're just like ready to make a wreck of the rest of your life what if there was better representatives though like because what if some girls just talented like lebron lebron went straight from high school and he was just a man child like he doesn't have to go to college because he's that good this is a stupid comparison but like what

if they're like is it the rep what if you had a more conscientious representative, not these agents who are just after the money? Is that what it is? Like, so if you wanted to get in at 18, you were protected a little more or had more of an advocate or you don't think so? I would compare it to like child actors, right? Like there's a reason that most of them like fucking lose it at some point. Like you're not supposed to be famous at a certain age.

I don't think you're supposed to make a certain amount of money before a certain age. Like it doesn't process. You get a very warped idea of what reality is. And obviously like you're an adult at that age, but that's just like, again, it's such a severe decision that you're making. And it's not to say like no one do this, right? Because I would be a huge hypocrite because I love what I do. Well, no, unless you, unless you, you know,

got enlightened to something that you didn't know before. I mean, I couldn't judge until I heard it. Yeah, that's true. But there's certainly people that navigate it properly, that genuinely want to do it,

that feel fulfilled and have a good time and all of those things. But when you're at that age, I don't know. I just, I don't think you have the capacity to understand like the gravity

of that decision. Again, like we have people in our town that are like, don't even associate with them. And now that's going to affect my child. It's affected other people in my family. Like I've had people in my family get fired from jobs because of what I do. Like that's crazy. So at 18, you're not thinking about that. You're like, I can get a bed. I can get my own apartment. I have all these followers. Right. When did you, when apartment. I have all these followers, right? It's very superficial. When did you have this realization?

Was it having a kid or was it something you had at the time when you were doing porn? It came in installments, right? Like buying a dryer if you can't afford it. So one would be like longtime friends disinviting me to a wedding. So that's like one installment wow um another one would be family members like direct family members cutting me off because they're now dating somebody that disapproves of my choices another installment um it's my husband trying to start like a tech company and then losing the funding that he was supposed to get because of what my decisions were like another installment right and then now as a

mom the next one is going to be dealing with parents right and like the thing that i guess i'm still trying to navigate it's like the reason that he's going to find out is because like some jerk kid is going to overhear his dad who obviously was watching my content tell his wife to avoid that conflict and then my kid's gonna get bullied because of that right right so it's just like it's all of these different layers the does the region of the country um change that or you feel like that's kind of everywhere is it like a hypocritical thing you'll be in the most liberal area and they'll be the most judgmental or i feel like maybe the parent situation would be that would be better if i went to like a more of like a liberal city but i

think the kid element is always going to be the same like kids are jerks and like bullying is part of like the growing up process right and it's not to say like I hope he doesn't get bullied like I was bullied tremendously as a kid and I grew a lot from it well you grew up in Poughkeepsie it's not Beverly Hills oh my gosh yeah it was well I moved so when I moved to upstate New York, I looked a lot more Asian when I was little. I like slowly got more white looking as I got older. But I was tan with freckled and these like slanted eyes. And I was picked on relentlessly. Like physically bullied, like mentally tormented.

I got pulled out for like a year to be homeschooled because it was so bad. Really? Yeah. It was really intense. Why? Because you were different? Because I looked different? Yeah.

Stop Asian hate. God. I guess you can't. I mean, Poughkeepsie just like, if there's a toilet of America, it's either Poughkeepsie or fucking Springfield. It's either Syracuse, Poughkeepsie,

and that's it. Well, Binghamton, so kind of close. Oh, no, I'm sorry. I've been fucking it up. Binghamton's not as bad as Poughkeepsie, and that's it. Well, Binghamton, so kind of close. Oh, no, I'm sorry. I've been fucking it up. Binghamton's not as bad as Poughkeepsie. Yeah, that's true. Well, outside of the university, I guess. It's a little townie-ish, right?

Yeah. Okay, I'm sorry, Binghamton. Who should I apologize to? Everybody. Everyone, yeah. And to you for fucking totally flubbing where you live. You know, that's a typical like. It's all the same.

Yeah. But you know what? That shows the arrogance of New York City kids. We're just like, yeah, fucking Poughkeepsie. Where is it? Poughkeepsie fucking Binghamton. It's all the same shit. We just look down on everyone else.

We're assholes. So you're from Binghamton. Yes. Yeah. Same shit, really. Yeah, same shit. Same shit. So it's not Beverly Hills still. No. That still holds. It still holds. Certainly not. So you were that bullied because you. Yes. Yeah, same shit, really. Yeah, same shit. Yeah, same shit. So it's not Beverly Hills still.

No. That's still home. Certainly not. So you were that bullied because you were Japanese. Yeah. Yeah. So I was born in California, so even then, like then, where you have a higher Asian population, it still was bad.

Like, I ate lunch with the nurse, because I would have kids, like, coming in and pulling their eyes and, like, doing those, like, little, I am Chinese, right? Japanese. Yeah, that thing. Yeah. And I feel like my freckles were always a thing too. So people were like, it looked like someone pooped through a screen door

on your face and I would just be in tears because you're so little and it stings. So bad that you had to be homeschooled for a year. Yeah. Wow. Because at that point, I was getting physically bullied

by like a group of girls, like getting beat up. Yeah. Yeah. Not feminists. Not feminists at all. Those girls were not feminists. Or maybe they were,

right? Like maybe they were like, she can handle it. She's a strong, independent woman. Yeah. Those would be really militant feminists. That would,

yeah. They were, maybe they were doing it for your own good. Right. Maybe like, yeah. Toughen this little thing up. Toughen this,

toughen this little quote unquote, Jap up. Yeah. As they would say. Yeah. Jap is just short for Japanese. There are toughen this little quote unquote Jap up. Yeah. As they would say. Yeah. Jap is just short for Japanese. There are no good slurs. My husband calls me that.

It's his pet name. Yeah, pet name. What's a good, are there good slurs for Chinese? I don't use any slurs ever, so I don't know. I think Jap is the only one, right? Is there another one? I mean, I could Google it. I don't know.

No, no. No, I was just thinking. I was just thinking. That's sad. That's sad. You know, when you were saying that, I could Google it. I don't know. No, no. No, I was just thinking. I was just thinking. That's sad. You know, when you were saying that, I actually got a little, I actually like, that was like a sad moment to think about

because nobody, that's the thing that's missing now that everyone's become their avatars and everyone is, everything's so fragmented and selfish because of the amenities of modernity. The expression is somewhere. We want everything now.

We want it for us. We've all become children. I want my food now. I want this. Nobody puts themselves in somebody else's shoes to find out what their experience is and then empathize with it, which is the height of wisdom, really, is to be able to see something from somebody else's perspective. A lot of people probably don't know that you go through all that

and that sexual performers go through all that. That's a lot of bullying. Or they'll say that we deserve it because we knowingly made an extreme decision. Yeah, that's the bullying. I mean, that's crazy. I mean, what? And that's the stigma that should change. I mean, it's like like how is a porn actress how's that less how is that more

sleazy than like a fucking stockbroker we'll get this then i mean or a pot look at what i'm doing i'm selling charisma i'm a charisma whore i mean what it's just like crazy well the main guy that was involved in all of this, like rumor spreading and like attempt of like social isolation, his family monies, it's like family money comes from big tobacco. Wait. So it's like, are you kidding? Who's this? Say it again.

So the main guy that's like basically telling everyone in the town, like don't associate with them. This is your situation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't associate with him. Like his wife does this.

He does the respectable thing of selling cancer sticks. Right. That's his lineage. And I was like, okay, but that hasn't devastated families, right? No one's died of cancer. Beyond devastating. It kills people. It's more addictive than heroin and it kills people.

And they covered it up. But they used to have advertisers with doctors in it. I mean, it's hilarious. We used to have them. Me and Jesse used to have advertisers with doctors in it. I mean, it's hilarious. We used to have them, me and Jesse used to have an apartment together. He was in advertising, and we had those old ads where they would, I'd never make a house call without smoking a Camel,

and they knew then, they knew back then that the causal link between tobacco and cancer, smoking tobacco, and they were doing fucking ads with doctors in it. But yeah yeah someone who is having sex on camera is immoral it's really right it's kind of we don't deserve i'm telling you i'm i'm going to welcome i'm going to welcome the dictator that comes we deserve it it's probably

the only thing that can hold us together at this point and we deserve it it's like that's what we deserve is like a qadda-style fucking dictator to come in and start chopping people's dicks off. Because hopefully it's a trans dictator who's had enough of these fucking straights, and I will support it. That's sad. Well, I'm sorry that you go through that.

And if any of my fans fucking do any of that shit, you're not my fan anymore. That's horrible. Some more fun stuff. More interesting, more stuff I'm like curious about. Sexuality. Yes.

This also speaks to like the hypocrisy of people, which I love, right? Because you'll find like a lot of homophobic like women and like i uh i'm one of those annoying people like i when i like date someone or like i meet someone i ask them everything i just want i'm so curious about people people to me are more fascinating than the universe like anytime people are like wow isn't it fascinating like not really it's just a bunch of black shit and smoke i mean you're like look at mars i'm like that shit looks like uh fucking arizona it's boring but people are like so fascinating and nuanced and different and um women whip all almost like every straight women i've met uh or i've known masturbates to lesbian

porn so like that's a hypocritical thing, especially for the ones who are like, you know, get these gays out of my town. It's like, you're jerking off to gay stuff. Like you're a little, you're straight. I get it because it's fantasy or whatever. But what is that? Because that's true. That's just a true thing.

I would say 100% of the women I've talked to masturbate to lesbian porn. Why is that? Is it because the guys are too violent? Is it because the porn industry makes it seem not loving or the context is missing? Or is it because women are a little more

flexible with their sexuality? Or both? So women definitely are more flexible with their sexuality. They've done a whole bunch of studies on this and they tend to be a lot more fluid when it comes to what they're attracted to. And I also think when it comes to the lesbian lesbian porn that's usually shot a lot more softer and there's

like a lot more time spent on like the connecting and like the foreplay and all of that so like that tends to resonate more with women than just like going straight into it and having like this very hardcore sex scene right like no girl really wants to see someone getting like their head just like jammed all over the place that's more of a guy that's a guy thing right yeah that was never my thing though no am i gay what's your thing my thing is women women are gore i like women like i i think i see thing like the way nature and uh wanted it reproduction, but it's like too much. Cause I'm like obsessive. I have an obsessive personality.

So it's like, I'm just like, wow, that's, it's like looking, I'd rather look at a beautiful woman than like any, it's like the most beautiful thing you could see. You're like,

that thing is designed to be, and I mean thing, I don't mean, you know, not object, but like, just like, it's just crazy.

It's just like, I can't handle it. So it's a little more worshipy, a little more worshipy. Like once I used to, I like to put feet just crazy. It's just like, I can't handle it. So it's a little more worshipy. It's a little more worshipy. Like once, I used to, I like to put feet in my mouth once in a while. I'll plug it in like a pacifier. Just like everything, the whole package. I don't like the porn where it's like, they spread everything wide and shit like that.

I'm like, what is this, a science fucking project? Am I dissecting a frog? Like what I don't find, i don't find attractive like the inside of a vagina or a specific part it's like the whole thing i like the wider angles in porn when they go a little wider i can see the leg i like seeing the leg hang i like i like the curves and curves the whole fucking thing yeah and um femininity is attractive to me and um so i would say i'm a little bit of a cuck you know i like fucking hard once in a while but i'm more of a soft kind of i'm kind of a soft lover you know where i'm kind of like i like it

slow and uh i got an average size piece so maybe that has something to do with it because like i know when i'm wailing away it hurts me too you know i'm always a little scared um when when uh my wife is riding me because that's the only sex i've ever had in my entire life david tell has the best joke about it where he goes uh he goes when a girl's riding you and she comes up off your dick which he called catching air he said the distance between the top of your dick and where she goes is how big she wishes your dick was. I mean, it is the best joke about that.

Uh, period. So, yeah, I mean, that's kind of, that's kind of how I'm into it. Um,

uh, and I'm, and I'm kind of flexible, like with trans women, like if a trans woman is gorgeous, like looks feminine to me, like I'm attracted to that. Like the dick doesn't throw me off.

I'm not like thrown off. I mean, it's not my preference, but I'm like into the person. Okay. As opposed to the genitalia. I think a lot of guys, like we discussed, since it's such a highly Googled thing for whatever,

because it's different, or like you said, it's so hard highly googled thing for whatever because it's different or like you said it's so hard to find whatever it is yeah um i think a lot of guys i don't and it's straight guys who are watching it so i feel like it's it's pretty like if a woman looks like a woman i mean when you meet a woman at a bar you don't go hey wait before we talk can i check and see what's in your panties you know it's like you're attracted to what you see. Right. So it's like, I'm just kind of like, I've never hooked up with a trans woman, but if I did and then she pulled out and she had an antenna,

I'm just going, okay, I guess we're trying something different tonight. You know? Like, I'm not, it's not like, I'm not phobic like that. And I do think that's a little, I get it. If a guy goes like, if a guy's not into it that's fine yeah but to judge a guy and say that he's gay because of that i don't know yeah i don't think that it makes you gay i think that's like an over generalization or like just just short-sighted maybe but i do understand the attraction to like the genitalia for sure right especially from like because it's warm and

it self-lubricates right it's beautiful like you they're very different pieces of equipment right right and if you like one it's very one's a sword fight one's more of a fitting right it's right you know what i mean yeah they're not the same so i understand i don't think it makes you like a bigot or a phobic if you're like okay like you're gorgeous but that's not the equipment that turns me on i a thousand percent agree with you i was more talking about like oh you must be gay you must be gay if you're like and like i think a lot of trans women take offense to that too you know it's like because they see themselves as women right so it's like if a guy isn't turned off like that you know she wants to be viewed as like a woman who straight guys like and you know because that's how they view that and i just don't

see anything wrong with that i don't see i don't i think the people who judge people the hardest are the ones who are hiding the most like we've been talking about so it's like i don't judge anyone for anyone unless you're with a kid yeah it's like i don't judge you for anything if you like getting kicked in the nuts hey i don't know it seems to be the most powerful people like that shit they're trying to balance themselves out maybe i'd want to do that too if i had a fucking uh a staff at my company of a thousand and i had the pressure being in power all day and i wanted to just balance myself out with a good kick swift kick to the nuts i get it once in a while do i want joe rogan to kick me in the chest because maybe that's what i need to straighten me the

fuck out i don't judge anyone for anything. So whenever someone gets ultra judgy about anything sexual, whether it be if you're a sex worker or whatever you like, I'm like, I'm always skeptical of that guy. Because I never understood why you would judge someone. I mean, why would you take, it's one of the fucking few pleasures we have on this shit rock that we're tethered to that's floating in nothing.

I mean, that's the thing that's going to piss you off is the thing that gives someone fucking pleasure. That's the thing. Like you're going to take that from them and take it from yourself because God forbid they look in your fucking internet history. Oh, yeah. God forbid we look at, there should be a new expression. Let me look in your closet.

Let me look at your fucking Google search bar before you fucking cleared it. Let's see what you're looking at. It's like, I don't understand. What don't people want to be free? Do people want to be free or not? You know, that's the thing, too, right? As you see the hypocrisy on both sides. So like you see the right that's like, oh, we're getting censored.

This is terrible. But then they see the stuff that happens with the only fans. And they're like, yes, porn is so bad. It's like, well, you don't get to say that censorship is only wrong for your party it's either wrong or it's wrong period that's a great point same with the liberals though too because when you saw certain people getting deplatformed including the president at the time they're like well this is great because i didn't want to have to listen to that first of all there's a block button second of all like and then they're they're the ones that are defending performers

right now like they're getting censored so So again, is censorship wrong, period? Is it only wrong when it's happening to you? Do you know what I mean? Right. You're absolutely right. And it turned out that the FBI found zero link to any causal link between what the president did or any one group that stormed the Capitol. And you're right.

I mean, he's president of the United States. Whatever his tweets are, you should see him. We should see what he's doing, bad or good. And then you let the Taliban on. Exactly. But then you're taking him off. I mean, the kid had some funny tweets too. I miss him.

The country needs him right now. I mean, there's a whole industry that is going to go bankrupt without him. His tweets give a lot of people jobs. He's like the Ric Flair. He's like having Ric Flair as president. Like he's the the rick flair he's like having rick flair as president like he's the bad guy you want to write about you want to talk about you want to it's um it's crazy to me and it's just like it's it's really crazy to me that that point i just

made is still sticking in my mind it's like we have such little consequence free pleasure thing pleasure stuff on this planet like there's a few concepts you could get a disease or you know you get a baby and emotions get involved but it's like coming if more people were coming people would be less angry especially with all this research between violence and sexual repression more people were more open and just less judgy and just let people fuck who they want to fuck um you know it would the world would be a better place so it's interesting one of the researchers that was working with maps up in canada she's um she had to move her facility to canada because we like the u.s isn't very sex research friendly.

Like, it's just very hard to get funding. And what she's finding in her work, I can't remember her name, is in those moments of, like, orgasm and, like, stress relief, especially with porn, is it's, like, mimicking those, like, transcendental healing moments that you get with entheogenic plants. So, like, MDma and mushrooms and all of that stuff so they're like very comparative so maybe someone who has like an addiction problem who can't use a plant medicine should just jerk off should just maybe use porn right and there's like actually she's a neuroscientist so it's like maybe look a little bit at the work before you

just like blanketly say it's bad right no that makes sense too i mean it uh we're chemical everything's chemical in we're chemical everything's chemical in us for sure everything's chemical and uh there is no better way to relax than to rub one out to fucking rub furiously rub one out to discipline your dick sometimes i look down at my dick and i say you have been a bad boy and it's time to hit you so uh yeah it's um it's definitely uh it's definitely something that i was not aware talking to you kind of enlightened me on how much discrimination you guys face because of what you do yeah yeah you never think about it because we we consume porn uh um for our own like you know needs and you just go like,

you don't think about the people and stuff like that. So it should be a healthy environment, a healthy culture and a healthy business. But you're saying the healthiest form of it is now the independent form. Because you can control everything. Exactly. Now that's kind of being taken.

Again, a little hypocrisy. Fans only. It didn't become popular because people were sharing their fucking thesis on you know thermonuclear whatever it became popular because people want to look at feet right and now they're changing that to get their whatever to turn it into some company that's going to fail they were like we're going to get a lot of pilates instructors and yeah sure I was like, give me a break. Good luck with that. No way. Good luck with that.

You know what the two biggest things on the internet are? Are porn and comedy. Those are like the two biggest forms of entertainment. And those, I mean, they're both nuts. We give people nuts. You know, people watch you and they get the glue nut. They watch what I do and they get a face nut. I mean, that's basically a coming out of your face when you laugh, right?

They're very similar. So what's the next move for you? Is it your website? So that's like done well in the past before these other platforms. And then when the other ones kind of took off, that started to decline. It's like not set up for like to be super user-friendly the thing

that made only fans so great was like the connecting element so like it was very easy to like chat back and forth and then people like had that sense of um like you're like giving me all of your time in this moment like that's like true intimacy right it's not like this film or this picture but it's like that connecting element you can't do that on your website? It's not set up for it, no. Someone will create something. There's already a ton. It's like whether or not they're going to be able to handle all of this volume that's going to just dump on them.

Right, right. Because there's October 1st is the cutoff date. It's like after that you cannot put anything new on. And then you have until December to totally clear it off of your page. So it's going gonna be this huge exodus which one of those sites seem to be the favored one right now do you know right now i think everyone's looking at fansley i think is one of them um so we'll see it looks very similar but again it's like can they handle that volume right i don't know i'm sure they'll adapt to it

if it starts getting crazy that's the great thing about capitalism is like wherever there's a void in the market, someone sees an opportunity, it will be filled. How much revenue were you making on fans only versus your website versus all the other stuff you do? Like add another digit. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah. So this is a big change for you. Yeah. And I'm like, fucking the boats are burning. What am I going to do? We got to pivot.

Right. Yeah. Right, right, right, right. Oh, yeah. And you do get revenue from your podcast as well. I mean, it barely pays for the editing. Interesting. Yeah. So we'll see with that. But this thing actually does really well.

So that's like a check in the mail. Right, right, right, right. I got a freebie, guys. I got a free one. You know what I'm going to do? i'm you gotta be an entrepreneur a little bit all right i'm gonna tell you that you know thank you i'm gonna cherish it whatever and then when you leave what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna package it right back up i'm gonna throw it on my patreon and sell it for 10 times the amount if I can get you to finger it

And I say I got the one that she fingered. I don't know. I mean, I'll definitely do monetize you that will write Yeah, YouTube's weird about what they do monetize and what they don't sometimes they'll put our videos on like restricted ads And then and then we'll appeal it and they like always overturn it so it's like wow yeah it's like what did you and it's just word like it's crazy how much of the matrix like the matrix we've become remember in the matrix where there was those bots just chasing those fucking guys around it's like that's what we it's just bots these are just like fucking robots oh yeah who are just programmed to find words and there's just no context context is just out the window i did this um campaign for manscaped recently and i had to post some content

on my tiktok which my one of them was really good which one the one of the guy the golf ball thrown through the trying to get his balls in the bush really i was like damn i wish i thought of that that was funny yeah that was actually what got flagged so i put it on my tiktok that got flagged and it said because I was trying to groom people for like sexual exploitation because it's like a grooming kit. So like the bot must have seen grooming somewhere on the bot or on the box.

And I tried to appeal it, but it's not going to happen. But it's a safer work ad. What are you doing? I mean, yeah, that has nothing to do, it's got everything to do with just grooming. That's just, you're just trying to get rid of the fumes. Right.

Now. Helping out. What makes fumes? What makes fumes? Yeah. What, yeah, what, like, what is that? Do you know what fumes are? No, I don't.

Okay, fumes are something that I, it's a word I came up with. Okay. And we used to talk about it all the time in History Hyenas. It became a thing to mean bad. So if you say that guy's got fumes okay it means he's bad okay right like it's fume this situation has fumes um but the real original

meaning of it is like guys and girls fumes in the crotch area okay my theory is that the fuse come they come from the hair because like i grew up you will add to it maybe so is it things that people eat oh well that definitely plays a huge factor in everything right down there it's the it's the diet diet's huge so what's the best diet for less fumes uh mediterranean pineapple like fruits lots of water so that's not a not a lot of spices like turmeric and lot of spices. Turmeric and stuff like that. Indian food. Indian food will get you. The Indian food.

Garlic will get you. Oh, man, Italians. That explains Italian girls. Yeah, he's Italian. Wow, no garlic, no turmeric gives you fumes. Or like moderation, right? Like just don't like douse yourself. You know that you're going to get a little frisky later.

Well, I hope the Indian food lobby doesn't come after us after that because we're definitely saying ladies if you want to smell fresh don't eat indian food that's the implication so pineapple is the magic you think if a girl eats a lot of pineapple yeah her pussy will taste like butterscotch yes yeah all right i've heard that rumor about pineapple i thought maybe it was like an old wives tale about like hey eat like like you know drink rhino horn You'll get a big dick. No, no, no pineapples true. Yeah, so you You have you tested this? I mean, it's like process of elimination, right? It's like, you know, like if maybe your partner's been eating like shit all week

I'm not doing that right because every time it's, it's garbage. So I'll wait until you detox. Yeah. Before you have sex, you're like, well, what did you have for dinner? Yeah. Oh, God. You had Indian? We're going to have to wait two weeks until the pubes. Because guys' dicks stink too sometimes.

They shouldn't. They shouldn't though. They shouldn't. Have you ever come across a really stinky dick on the job? No, but girls have been bad. You've caught some fumes because you do a lot of girl on girl. And you just swim through those fumes? You keep going?

I usually like cut. You let them know? Yeah. That's an awkward conversation. It is, but I would want to know. You go, honey, what did you have for dinner last night? I'll be like, maybe you should just go freshen up really quick. Does anyone have a pineapple on set?

Can we drain this thing like we do when someone gets sprayed with a skunk with tomato juice? Oh no, that would be so much work. So you actually have brought it up? Yeah, because I mean, I would want to know, right? You're fucking straightforward. Yeah. You're a woman who wants her

working conditions the way you want them. I do and it's like, it's how I would also want it. No gangbanks, no fumes. Right? Keep it simple. Yeah, if you're a woman who wants her working conditions the way you want. I do yeah, it's how I know gangbangers no fumes, right? Keep it simple. Yeah, if you're working with Eva no gangbangers no fucking fumes Wow, what like what would you say? Would you bring it up softly? Well, I would just like say cut really quick and then I would just like say hey Maybe you should like go freshen up really quick in the bathroom. Did anyone get offended over? No They just kind of like they didn't at least act like it right because again i would want to know like i don't

want someone to suffer through a scene because like maybe i rushed through the cleaning process italian meal last night with a little garlic in the sauce exactly like let me just make this a more pleasant experience for both of us right yeah right now are you uh you started with girl and girl was that more of a choice to stay away from sleazy guys, or are you into both? I was actually super shy when I first got in, and I had only been with a handful of guys ever, so it was just too big of a leap for me. I had never just casually been with someone.

Someone that I was with was always dating, so to just go in, someone I'd never met, it was overwhelming. And then just after a certain amount of time I was like okay I'm ready to do this like I want to try to take my career to the next level like there's a cap when you're only doing girl girl performances um so I we just like made the decision I did it and I was like my heart was like pounding out of my chest the first day I remember shaking I was so nervous but it was ended up being great but I was like I don't know what I'm gonna do I'm just gonna like stand here and see what happens was the first the first guy you worked with was he cool did he make it cool

yeah he was super sweet like he's married he's been in forever his wife is really great so like just very professional not someone that's like trying to get your number and take you out after and make it awkward yeah does your husband get more jealous with guys and girls yeah yeah sure that's for sure yeah yeah i i remember i got jealous over both oh really which i think i may be more mature now but when i was younger i remember there was a girl hitting on one of my ex-girlfriends and i got jealous and that made me feel like something was wrong with me because you're supposed to like that right i guess that's the stereotype yeah i was like i i was like jealous so i don't know even though I should have been

I guess the guy what guys would say is like why would you you know get another girl on their bed but I'm like

I don't want anyone touching her so how do you work with like through your jealousy throughout like your I've gotten yeah like

I try to take a moment and like whenever I get jealous of anything you know we're in a career too, where I have so many friends who've gotten famous,

famous like that. Like they're famous, you know, you know, Allie Wong's a friend of mine now she's fucking star. And like, I mean so many friends. And so that's,

that can be tough for a second, but then I try to take a moment and think about, like, why am I jealous? Like, I try to explore the feelings and think about them. And then you realize that, like, they're a different person, you do different things, and what they do doesn't represent what you do. And so with that, that's how I deal with jealousy in the career.

With my wife, wife like she never gives me any reason to get jealous she's just the my wife is like I made like if I do anything if I do nothing right for the rest of my life I think I made the right decision with my wife because it's just we have a great relationship we complement compliment each other well. And there's like no jealousy. And it's, so she never gives me a reason to be jealous, to be honest with you. So a lot of people don't though, right? And then people still have that.

And I don't give, I try not to give her a reason. Yeah. So it's like, I think I've become more aware of that. Like, I got to admit, like meeting her, it was just like, realized oh instead of like um because at first she was shy and didn't talk much that's usually not who I go for I was like she doesn't say anything and I remember one of my friends I was complaining a little bit about I was like she doesn't say anything and my friend who was married goes that's a bad thing and that's

the first time I thought of it like oh yeah I'm the one who doesn't shut up. I don't want to be with someone else who doesn't shut up. Like that's too fucking. It's a lot. Yeah. So I started looking at it differently. Getting outside yourself is always a good thing to look at yourself. For sure. Yeah. Cause we're, we spent all the time looking this way. It's good to take a moment. I guess that's what I do with my jealousies i kind of try to get outside the situation and analyze it entirely not just my feelings but like because feelings aren't facts ben shapiro he may be trans he looks like a transition man i love him he's great he's great i'm um he's great i guess but um yeah so that's how that's how i try to deal with the feelings and i think that's a it's a good And then someone, a friend of mine's stepfather

said this to me. And since then, I just like, I've been living my life by it. It's like the craziest piece of advice that I've missed my entire life. And I think we all miss because we watch these dumb romantic movies where people meet and it's like explosive thing,

which is basic. Every movie's really just about every bad relationship you've had at the beginning where it's like intense and it's the greatest and then although those relationships always because they got nowhere to go right they start so high and like so he said to me he said love is an action not a feeling and i was like oh i never thought of it and like it's like oh yeah people say they love you all the time. Mean shit. Even feelings mean shit.

That's the thing. People are like, I'm in love with this girl. Are you or are you obsessed with her? Or is it lust? Yeah, or is it lust or whatever? Because love is like what you're going to do for the person. Like that's,

love is an action. It's a verb. It's not an adjective. And that changed my entire life. I got to say, it was a very simple line. Maybe it's been around forever but like i never heard it and like ever since then i just always think about what i

can do for my wife to show the love and uh and it just works and for people too it's just like you can feel certain ways about people feelings don't mean shit feelings are shit feelings don't mean shit no it's just all neurochemistry right it's like the same thing if you get a burger so you have to just know like that's going to dissipate and they've done studies where it's like around year four to seven is where those like butterflies just go away because you kind of essentially just wore it out so you have to be able to like recognize that this feeling is temporary and just because that feeling's gone doesn't mean you fell out of love and like the next hot thing walks by and she gives you that you're like well maybe i love her like no it's just your brain dummy you have to figure this out right right and try to figure out new ways to re-establish that now how do you do i read that your what you admitted was

you really love to be desired you like to be you wanted to be in front of the camera maybe a little bit your mom was a play like in playboy as well so i want to ask you about how your family dealt with everything after this but how do you deal with that need to be wanted now that you're married do you get it through like the performing you do on fans only and stuff like that oh for sure yeah like like my narcissism is definitely still fed on like social media and all of those platforms but um i think it's one of those things where when i was like immature and i had that desire like that need or whatever it was like that kind of went unchecked for a little bit long and it kind of became problematic because you start to undervalue the people that are actually like desiring you and actually appreciating you

like like your partner your husband whatever and you start to overvalue like the synthetic thing on the side that doesn't really mean anything because you just see the numbers right um so i guess it came what do you mean by just see the numbers like you see like the likes and the comments and the views right like you're getting validated like from like a very visible metric um whereas that's like a lot more complicated it's hard to compare like a million views here to like your husband like cuddling with you right like it's a very different, um, it kind of took me like him checking me being like, he would call me Eva. Like anytime I was behaving in a way that he didn't like, he's like, can you leave Eva in California and like bring Candace back? Cause this isn't going to work for me. And I was like, whoa.

And he's kind of like the first man that ever like stood up to me. Like I've always like been with guys that I could kind of like walk all over and like that never worked. And he's like, absolutely not. You do what you want to do, but I'm not going to be here for like that. Right. And that changed your view on it?

100%. So it made me realize like not to pay attention to like the critiques or the compliments, right? Because both of those things are fake and should have nothing to do with like who I actually am. Like, am I a good person? Do I know that? Do I show up for like my friends and family those kinds of important questions and not

like someone's like oh my god you're the most beautiful thing I've seen or you're the best performer or you're fat whatever it is like don't let those things get to you because none of it really matters and just pay attention to the people that are going to be there when all that's gone and is it enough is it enough yeah now yeah for sure there was a time where like i think i had my values like disaligned and i would have said no um and it was like actually right before we got married like we postponed the wedding and we were like well we don't know what to do like my career was taking off i just got this contract i was getting all this attention um so we took like a couple months to like see what was gonna happen and Now this was a contract to do sexual performance. So you were doing porn while you were with him, right?

And just like you said, being honest about it, talking about the feelings and everything just kind of helped with that. Yeah, for sure. And again, like just allowing everyone, like everyone's feeling was valid, right? Like he was in his right to like be upset that I was being with other men, right? And that other people were giving him shit for it. And I was in my right to also say upset that I was being with other men right and that other people were giving him shit for it and I was in my right to also say like we made this decision together so

now what do we do because like the genie's out of the bottle right like that's always going to be a problem it's it doesn't matter if you do one scene or a thousand the people that have an issue with it are going to forever have an issue with it right um so just trying to like navigate that but I mean we came back together and obviously i have a beautiful little baby so it's all wonderful but it's i think just like experiencing life and then just saying like how do i feel when i do this or behave in this way and so you kind of put your you kind of went outside yourself and started asking yeah your questions about your feelings and stuff yeah why do i feel that way what is it yeah what matters yeah that's um i guess that's the

maturation process that's the maturation process. That's the maturing process. Now you're, so your mother was in playboy. Yeah. What does that mean? Did she pose in it? Yeah.

She just did like some nude modeling for a while when she was like a little bit younger. Right. Yeah. Like twenties. Right. And she was open about that with you and everything. I found the pictures.

Yeah. I found them. And then there was like, well, mom models. And then as i got older she explained like she met half in a club one night and you know the rest was kind of history wow yeah did she sleep with half uh probably not she was super prude like despite like getting naked on

camera like super prude did she get a nice paycheck from it i have no idea i didn't ask so did you start without telling her telling anybody what you're doing yeah i didn't tell her so she how did you find out because some asshole sent her my video like how like that's like that's kind of sick first of all yeah he was looking at it right yeah what a dick yeah so someone sent her my video and it was a girl girl so then she's like are you gay like what's happening i was like no but i'm doing this and she was she was so pissed she's conservative in those values or um yes were you able to go know why right right like a lot of people i think if you were to ask a lot of people why they believe the things that they do they have

no idea it's like well because it's wrong or because i feel a certain way like they've never really dug into that right so for her i think it stems like a lot from just like insecurity so any other woman that's in her element in like that sexual environment is like a threat right do you know i mean even if it's her daughter did you bring up like hey mom you did it because it's different right right like so she pulled that she was like i guess i didn't even think to do it because oh you didn't even do it wow that's big of you like yeah i don't know i just didn't even cross my mind yeah you didn't because that would be like a fight back you didn't right because i don't ever want to come from like a place of like defensiveness because that's not going to win anything right and

like you're entitled to have your opinion what even if it's in opposition with me it's just it goes back to tolerance right like freedom and being able to coexist in opinion, even if it's in opposition with me, it goes back to tolerance, right? Like freedom and being able to coexist in these spaces, especially when we disagree. Right. So you said now she's okay with it? Ish. If you really ask her,

she'd probably wish I was a doctor or a psychologist or something else. So she sees that fans only check. Right, that's true too, right? So you sent her that Cadillac up to fucking Poughkeepsie. I know it's not Poughkeepsie, I'm joking.inghamton but yeah so i think if she had her choice it would be something else but there are times where she's like that's my daughter because i'd be on like

billboards and stuff once in a while she'd like show her friends so she's like i think a little bit of conflict right with it she's torn how about the rest of your family um i don't talk to my dad so i don't know i have no idea if he even knows um and then my other siblings like they're what i was talking about fallout so my brother was one of the one that stopped talking to me just completely out of nowhere and we were always super close but he got a girlfriend that was like porn is bad she's a terrible person and then just like dipped so he's not okay but my my cousins that are also extended family, we kind of grew up with them. So, they're like brothers to me, like super cool with it. And my aunt and uncle, super cool with it.

So, I definitely have, it's really interesting. So, one of the most important people in my family is my grandmother. And she's like 100% Japanese, off the boat, very traditional. Came from a very prestigious family over there. And I was like, she cannot find out. I have one tattoo, and she's like, people are going to think you're Yakuza. You can't go. What does Yakuza mean?

It's, like, the gang over in Japan. Like, the mafia. I was like, no one is going to mistake me for a Yakuza grandma. So, like, she was just very, like, proper. So, like, she cannot find out. Well, I went to order her flowers off of Amazon, and it was linked to my Eva profile. So the delivery name was my poor name, and my poor little grandma knows how to Google.

So she Googled. Time for your applesauce, Grandma. She left me a voicemail, and it took me days to respond because I was like, I'm not ready for this. What was the voicemail? She's like, just call me back. It really important and i was like oh god she's gonna disown me because that's a thing in that culture did you know what she was calling you about yeah i knew yeah so i was like fuck i switched the amazon told you no i just knew oh

you just knew because yeah the amazon delivery um so when i talked to her she's like i just want to make sure that you're happy and that you're safe and it's fine i was like wow it was like the most like pleasant surprise i've ever had when it went in regards to like that topic so most of my family is like wildly supportive and loving and that's really great yeah is your mom the japanese one or your dad was my dad your dad was japanese and your mom spanish spanish jewish yeah that's jewish oh you got a little is it ashkenazi i don't know so here's the weird thing i just found out that i'm Jewish like a year ago. Right.

I was like, you didn't think to tell me this. I did one of those like 23andMe things. Right. And she's like, well, her dad, I guess, was in Auschwitz. And like, so they just didn't talk about it. Wow. So it was one of those. There's a lot of Jewish in you.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's a combo. I was like, I want to know. Like, that's like so interesting to me. Right. That's a huge piece of history. Yeah. You good with numbers? I was like, I want to know. That's so interesting to me. That's a huge piece of history.

Yeah. You good with numbers? No. Okay. You didn't get that, Jean. I didn't get that, Jean. Neither did Jesse. On either end. No.

Jesse's half Jew. He got the Italian numbers. I'll pay you in sauce. They come over to my house and make a ziti for you. What, a two plus two? I'm not sure. I'll give you two lasagnas. I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

That's very fascinating. So now you're doing the podcast, and you're having all these interesting people on. I didn't even know. I don't remember how we friend requested each other or whatever, but I didn't even know you were in porn until recently. And then was like oh that's who she like okay that's yeah so um yeah i kind of knew you as like a podcaster and like uh internet person you know like like we all are yeah and um so how's the reception to the podcast and like are there porn fans watching it or is

it's like yeah it's a good crossover so there's like some of the people that followed over um brand new people that have never heard of me that like just found out like all of my history and like who i am in totality all of these things um in the beginning everyone was like shut up and just get naked and i kind of anticipated that and that's probably why it took me so long to do the podcast but you just kept doing it but yeah i just stopped i mean i don't even read my youtube comments anymore because it's just just avoid that cesspool do you know what i mean i'm just gonna put out the content that i think is important and have the conversations that are fun and um hopefully provide some value to everybody but stay out of the comments yeah i stay out of the comments and yeah it's you can't

you can't do what people want. It's never fulfilling. Even if it's financially beneficial. No. It's just like, if you're okay financially, do what you want. Yeah. You'll just have a happier life. That's a huge benefit of the porn money. That gives me so much freedom to spend my time doing what my new passions are,

which is just the podcast and educating myself on the guests and just prepping for that, for that, that makes me like super excited and happy. So there's like a lot of freedom that comes from it. And that's why it's so silly to say like, you have to stay in one spot. I think if anything,

like that's the perfect setup. Right. What advice would you give like to a girl who was coming in the industry? What are like the big, how would you guide? Let's say I'm a girl and I coming in the industry what are like the big how would you guide let's say i'm a girl and i'm getting in i'm like boy candace what's up yeah i mean like you know i got approached by who's the big producers now they're pro former or any guy who's like the big razors probably is a big one which candace how do i go about this how do i make money how do i become a star like

you oh my gosh i think well first i think like porn stars like that's done like i think our generation was probably like the last one for that i think the new thing is going to be like a whole different animal so i would say like first trademark your name like that's step number one right um otherwise someone else will try to like steal it buy it your name trademark yes yeah yep and then buy your domains uh do that before you announce it and then like start building up your social medias like your safer work platforms and then use that as a funnel for a paid page like something that's behind the paywall whether it's not only fans anymore but like when maybe like the fans fansly um or something like comparable i would say you don't need big companies anymore so sort of build up your fan base by giving away a little content yeah just

like try to be an influencer right and then like move that content to a more explicit platform because the thing is is if you look at these girls that like anna sharif is one of them right she started as a fitness model she did playboys like the she did do like a little bit of nudity then she started getting like a little bit more explicit, but nowhere along the lines of porn. Did an OnlyFans, and she's making a million dollars a month or something like that. Yeah, and I can't make that kind of money

because you can Google me, and there's just too much, right? Supply and demand. Right. So give away just a little. Just a little bit. Tease them and get them behind that paywall. Wow, it's fascinating how your business has also changed. Entirely. Right. So give away just a little. Just a little bit. Tease them and get them behind that paywall. Wow. It's fascinating how your business has also changed.

Entirely. My business. The internet has changed everything. And for the net, I would say for the better. Oh, 100%. Net for the better, for sure. That's fascinating. So this is something I'm curious about. The fans who get devoted to you, right?

Like the ones who pay and stuff like that. I know being a female comic is on a road is hard. Like guys can get creepy, especially if you're a good looking fan. I had a Kelsey cook on here. We talked about that a little bit, how it's like a little creepy. Sometimes guys say stuff like she has, you know, sometimes even some comics will get stalkers and things like that. Oh, wow.

So is do you ever deal with any of that where the line is a little creepy and like the devotion is a little creepy and like, how do you navigate that? Oh, man, I have had some doozies with like stalkers. I had one guy that was sending me mail like an he was institutionalized and he was Sending me like manifestos and boxes and then I'd get like weird pen like the Where they called like the Pentacles and like the star with like the witchcraft thing pentagrams. Yeah. Oh, yeah, like weird powder I didn't get your address and shit because now now it's out there. Because someone figured it out. That's creepy. It's so creepy. So it's just like taking the steps

to mitigate it. So if something's like really off just like making a report of it. Like the house is very armed and you know what I mean? Like you're taking those precautions. We have like a cyber security team. Just preventative. So all you can do is just try to mitigate it

as best you can. I've had people, it was this last Christmas actually, someone found one of my old addresses and I guess wasn't hearing back from me and was trying to call me and wasn't hearing back from me. So he sent the police to do a wellness check and then the police found my new address and came over and they were like, hey, just so you know, so-and-so did a wellness check. And I was like, I i don't know who that is like it's a stalker of a situation

and he's like okay well i have to legally let him know i found you and that you're okay but um i won't tell him where i found you what that is so freaky because there's a lot of catfish stories too right so these people get duped for a lot of money and they hold me responsible but it's like i'm not responsible you know what i mean like you have to do your due diligence how do they get how do they a lot of money well a lot of it comes from ghana which is really interesting like that's where it gets traced back to but they'll take my photos and then they'll start chatting with them on like whatsapp and pretend to be you yeah and start sending them pictures i'll be like i'm stuck in ghana got you um can you wire me 25 grand or something and i saw this one picture floating around and it was me holding a Korean baby.

And it was like, I'm stuck in Ghana with my baby. And I was like, that baby doesn't even like it's that's a Korean baby. Like, you know, my husband, like, that's not right. Your kid looks more Caucasian. Yeah. Yeah. It's like spitting image of my husband. Right.

Right. Right. Right. Little slant. Like, you can kind of tell, like, there's there's something in there but yeah my jeans lost that battle well this has been thank you so much i'm so glad you came this is so much fun so informative we went on a journey uh hope everyone learned a lot and uh people really need to check out your podcast tell people about it um it's chatting with candace you can find it on any of the podcast platforms

or chattingwithcandice.com. And everyone, you know, the guys already know where they can find you. Yeah, all the other stuff. It's on Google. For the ladies. Well, no. The ladies know where they can find you too.

They're the biggest spenders on those accounts. Yes. So ladies, fellas, you know, my babies, Demi Lovato, they, them, you know where to find it. Thanks so much for doing this. Thank you.

All right. Now we read some Patreon names. Time for our small business shout out. You know we support the small businesses here at Long Days. These are our small business Patreon members.

I want to give a first shout out to Andrew Cuomo's secretary. One of the best Patreon names of all time. Very good. Very good. Their business, these screwed in Jew kids, ZajamaRealty.com Zajama!

ZajamaRealty.com for all your commercial or apartment rental needs in Brooklyn. If you're looking for a place in Brooklyn and you're a long days fan, Z jamma realty.com, uh, to find yourself a spot. That's where you go.

I want to give a shout out to grant Trower. The great Grant Trower from South Florida Realty. If you're moving down to the South Florida area, you know, Miami, Fort Lauderdale, all that good stuff, get in touch with Grant. Give him a call. He'll find you a spot. He will take care of you. If you're a fan of this podcast, he's your

realtor for that area. You can call him at 954-591-6465, or you can go to his website, granttrower.theatlanticrealtygroup.com. Time to talk about our boy, Squeegee Luigi. Another Hall of Fame Patreon name as it is. So you got to check out Squeegee Luigi's Instagram to see what he's selling here. He works with all these vendors and he offers things from canapes, paraphernalia, to exotic dab tools. Do you even know what that is? I don't. Pipes, rolling trays, luxury pens, jewelry, my favorite, self-defense gear, tools, furniture, and handjobs. So check out Squeegee Luigi. Here's his page. Here's his page. Get turnt co.

So that's G-E-T-T-U-R-N-T co. Get turnt co. So all one word on the gram. Get turnt co. Check him out. And tell him, he says to tell you that if you tell him Yanni sent you in the DMs, he'll give you a special little discount on your self self-defense gear now it's time for our favorite south philly kid all right you got a check and you need to cash it but you don't want to go to

any of the big boys because you got whatever issue you got you gotta go see our boy, Chris Minetti. Okay? This is sponsored right now by Minetti Financial Services. Okay? And I can only read it this way. If you need a business check cashed in the Philly, South Jersey area, now you got a business check cash, and for whatever reason, you go to Chris Minetti. All you got to do is call the guy.

No fucking social media, none of that old school shit. I mean, the kid kicks it old school. Here's his phone number. Call Chris. 215-750-3730. Hey, even if you don't got to check the cash, call Chris and say what's up. Say, hey, Chris, what's up? I'm also a Long Days fan.

What you doing cuz so call chris at 215-750-3730 if you need a business check cash in the philly south jersey area go see the one and only chris minetti he'll solve your fucking problem for you cuz one of my favorite shout outs the bronx brand uh.com uh go there support local bronx artists they collab with um who sell stuff on their site um every artist gets paid um they earn a revenue share with each sale so every purchase you make helps support a local artist. They got cool shit up there, man. If you're looking for some original art for your room, for your house, for yourself, to wear,

they got prints, clothings, the whole deal. They got stories in the Bronx Magazine. The Bronx brand is really uplifting the Bronx, which is the home of hip hop. So go support the Bronx, New York, where everything originates, thebronxbrand.com, and type in the promo code FUMES for 15% off whatever you order from a deserving, de-serving local autist. Then we got my boy Reese Ormond.

I want to give a shout out to you, Reesey boy, at techvera.com. All right? This is the best. They are the IT, they are the ideal IT provider for any small to mid-sized business. They're based in North Texas, but it's the internet, bro. They'll help anybody. They're down there in Denton, but it's the internet, bro. They'll help anybody. They're down there in Denton, Texas. So they all got COVID.

So if you're a small business around the country or even just a person, instead of hiring particular IT personnel, you can just hire Techvera to do it for you. It's like hiring a whole department for the fraction of the cost. They offer 24-7, 365 coverage and unlimited to support to their flat rate partners. So this is what you got to do. Techvera.com, Facebook.com slash Techvera IT, or check them out, TechVera on LinkedIn, and give your boy Reese a call, man.

He's the CEO, and they will take care of you. Any job they'll do. Tool stack, automation, security, any of that shit. For all your IT needs, go check out Reese and TechVera. Then, of course course we got the best fucking cheesecakes I am proud every week to talk about Eastside Cheesecakes in the Los Angeles

area go get yourself Eastside Cheesecake the flavor that you like the flavors are always changing everything is made from scratch it is cheesecake with care it's fucking delicious our king of the Patreon, Omar, actually went there in person

and got himself some cheesecake. So go check out Julia and Greg. Eastside Cheesecakes on the gram. EastsideCheesecakes.com. Order yourself a delicious cheesecake. Also, you can go to Uncle Paulie's and the line starts to the right and order your fucking Eastside Cheesecake.

They are available at all Uncle Paulie's fucking locations. My boy, Uncle fucking Paulie. I'm waiting for my fucking shirts, guy. I spoke to you. We fucking FaceTimed you. I gave you my fucking address and I don't got any fucking Uncle Paulie shirts. Aaron Leaf for the free. Forthefree.us, man.

They support all the local artists in Hawaii. It's an organization. For The Free is an organization dedicated to providing artists from Hawaii a place to develop their craft. They host free shows, free music by local artists. Check out their website, ForTheFree.us. Go find out about all the cool bands and events in Hawaii. Hawaii.

Hawaii. Rob's Mental Playground. Rob's Mental Playground should come with a soundtrack. It's Rob's Mental Playground. Do it for your YouTube page, Rob. Come on. Our favorite wild artist, Rob's Mental Playground. Follow him on the gram.

Comment on his page. Buy a printer or t-shirt for him from him robsmentalplayground.com or robsmentalplayground on the gram to check out

all his cool art you see that hyena behind me guess who did that Rob's Mental Playground 2021 I don't fuck around I know real artists son

love you Rob and then of course we got exclusive auto shipping.com which i think there's commercials for what can you do jared z from the stink box um go to exclusive auto shipping.com if you're moving your car anywhere in america if you're moving you car anywhere in America. If you're moving, you need someone to move your car, you go to exclusiveautoshipping.com. They also can ship internationally. So just go get your free quote. They're based in Tallahassee.

But they will fucking ship from anywhere. Even Alaska, Puerto Rico, Alaska, Puerto Rico, Hawaii. Puerto Rico, Hawaii. It would be funny if it was called Puerto Rico. So go check out Jared. Go get your free quote at exclusiveautoshipping.com if you need to move your wheels, cuz. Now, let's talk some fucking Patreon names. All right, we recorded this episode

kind of close to the last one. It was great having Candice on, Eva, La Via, what's up, all of us? So, new Patreon members, patreon.com slash yannilongdays. Oh, also, our merch is up. So go get yourself some merch,

your Long Days merch, your Squeaky Clean shirts. What's up, all of us clean shirts so go check that out also uh write and review us on itunes um please go do that i'm reading all the reviews and they're great and they're funny and i'm having a good time so welcome pasha safar zadeh then we have have Adam Monroe, Chad Icorn, Vito De Pinto. Jesus Christ. Mathieu Labbe.

Lab? Mathieu? Then we got TC, Levi Walker, Carl Haffey with an average staffie will eat Chrissy's ass like something. It's too long. Alex Berenfield, Stefan, Nick, Samaska, Pateri, Tiami. All you guys welcome to patreon.com slash yannilongdays for your weekly bonus episodes

and your podcast episodes from characters, character pieces, all types of content up there. Go enjoy it and become a member of my channel, patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. We will see you next time. From me and Jesse, peace. It's been a long day.