Yannis Pappas Hour - The Grifter Hall of Fame - LongDays with Yannis Pappas - Episode 26

Episode Date: June 27, 2021

Yanni going in on the greatest grifters of the 21 century and of course the GOAT Jeffrey Shaun King. He pays his respects to them all. Yanni finally pieces together his theory concerning the CCP and H...ong Kong, it’s not to be missed. Guess who is in the comment Roulette again? John Stamos and it gets wild. Enough said, now enjoy the Long Day.   For an additional bonus episode every week and more Yantent, click here and support the show: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdays   Get 25% off your CBD products at https://sundayscaries.com with promo code [YANNIS]. Take care of your fumes, guys. https://www.manscaped.com promo code: FUMES Magic Spoon Cereal: https://magicspoon.com/fumes   The show goes out every Saturday at 10 est. to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram!   Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis Pappas   Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 What's the deal is everybody welcome to another episode of long days with Klonny Yanni your favorite medicated talk show host on the internet what a week in the USA and the world and the galaxy not even the aliens are interested this week. There have been no sightings, except for one alien sighting in court in California, I assume, where Britney Spears is going to war with her dad over a 13-year-old conservator thing where he's holding her money because she likes to talk to walls and lick lemons.
Starting point is 00:00:43 Black holes. Are they racist? Are they not? Well, a Cornell professor thinks it's racist that black holes are black. So we shouldn't call them black. We should call them white holes. Even though they appear to be black. Hong Kong.
Starting point is 00:01:01 No longer not part of China. What is it? Did they do COVID in order to get those protesters off the street? Probably. Milo Yapa Papa Papa Papa Papa Ditch is now straight. He is no longer gay and he's starting a therapy group. Guess where? Of course, Florida. He's asking for your donations for him to buy stuff for himself because that's the way
Starting point is 00:01:24 Sean King does it this is long days I don't know, guys. I don't know what to tell you. There's an easy way to get money, and I don't blame anyone who can convince people that they can either talk to dead talk to the deads okay they are raising money for police brutality victims or they're convincing you that they're now straight no longer like glue guns and are only into mud puddles and calamari and they want your donations to uh fund their therapy group um because they are persona non grata on the internet do you know what you have to do to be persona non grata on the internet do you know what you have to say
Starting point is 00:02:41 you have to admit that uh you were uh having sex with an older man when you were a minor, and there's nothing wrong with that. You have to say, hey, you know what? A lot of Catholic priests are mentoring some of these childs in Catholic school. You got to say that the Newtown parents are crisis actors and their babies were anatomic 3D simulations. That's what you have to do to be persona non grata. You gotta be president of the United States
Starting point is 00:03:16 to be persona non grata on the internet because everyone is accepted on the internet. Give us your poor, give us your hungry, give us your mentally ill, give us your grifters, give us your desperate, give us your yawning long days, give us your fucking everybody, okay? Give us your Joe Rogans, okay? Give us your vitamin D cures corona takes.
Starting point is 00:03:42 Everything is welcome on the internet. The internet is the new Statue of Liberty, except the Statue of Liberty welcome on the internet the internet is the new statue of liberty except the statue of liberty that is the internet is on meth if lady liberty was on meth she would be the internet the internet welcomes everybody there's nothing more participatory or democratic than the internet so if you get fucking thrown out of the internet, you're fucking fully Franks and Beans Incorporated. And I'm starting this episode by talking about my favorite fake Greek, Milo Yamanopoulos. I never learned his name and I never will.
Starting point is 00:04:20 Milos Upatikitis. Milo Yapakapaka. So Milo has put up a video, Milo Yampanopoulos from, you know, you remember him. He's a very flamboyant gay British guy. How the fuck did he get a residency? Like what corporation gave him his 6'9"? I'm just pretending like I know what the immigration paper is. Is it a canine? I
Starting point is 00:04:45 think it's a canine, right? Or is that a dog? There's some, a K1. There's some document that you get when you're an immigrant that allows you to come into this country. And usually it's a company or corporation that sponsors you. I'll tell you what, the Yanni Long Days podcast has not sponsored him. So I don't know how Yanni Papa Popovich is even in this country. What are these fucking foreigners doing here? Living here. We got enough. Okay.
Starting point is 00:05:10 If you're not Mexican, you're not welcome. If you can't put up drywall, we got enough takes. We got enough TV hosts. Why the fuck is Trevor Noah and the fat gay guy who pretends to be straight on channel two? Where did they come from? Who's asking for that straight gay guy?'s his name barney rubble what's his fucking name fatty yeah let's call him link sick lip syncs mcgee in the car yeah who's clamoring for that guy we have enough takes we have enough tv hosts what are they doing here?
Starting point is 00:05:49 Okay, so Milo Yopanopoulos is persona non grata on the internet, but now he's making a comeback as grifters do. They're like cockroaches and standup comedians. You can't kill them. They're coming back with another one. And I say, this is a good one. And I give him credit. He's coming back saying he's straight.
Starting point is 00:06:05 He's been reformed. Nobody knows by who. I don't know who did it. I think the only person that could turn a gay guy straight is Maria Menounos. That's a fine piece of pos-pos. I have to say it like that because my wife watches, but let's be honest. Maria Menounos is a fucking pa-pa-pa- a piece because you can't tell if she's walking down the street or if I'm trying to start my old Honda. She's such a... She sounds like a car rolling down the street that has a flat tire. That's how much of a
Starting point is 00:06:39 fucking piece she is. And she's the only one that could turn Milo Yampanopoulos gay. I mean, straight. So he's straight now. You know, he's straight. No more glue guns for him. And so now he wants to, he doesn't want to do this for anyone's money. He's not asking for donations for him. He's gainfully employed right now at who knows where. at who knows where, but he's asking for donations for people to give him money so he can start his therapy center. He hasn't picked a location in Florida and he has no therapists, but he says he wants the money first. So go watch the video for yourself. He's saying we need to raise money to hire therapists and to open up the center.
Starting point is 00:07:27 And he's only doing this because he's such a good hearted human being. Okay. That he wants to share the gospel of being cured of your gaydom. Um, here's the thing. If there was a cure for gay, here's the thing. If there was a cure for gay, I feel like once a guy looks up after sucking your dick and goes, was that good? I don't think that's an experience you can ever recumb from.
Starting point is 00:07:54 And I mean, like, that's why I don't ever want to let a guy suck my dick because it's just, you know, people say, hey, you know, people say, hey, seeing Jason Momoa without his shirt on will turn you gay i think you can recover from that i think you can recover from seeing the movie what was the movie where the guys were dancing in florida that they were that one guy's in it who obviously
Starting point is 00:08:15 let some hollywood executive fuck him to get his place chase what's his name cocktail that's tom cruise we're dating ourselves now it was it was a more movie the guy was also in 21 jump street what's that movie johnny depp no god damn magic mike baby now magic mike magic mike if there's one movie that could turn you gay it's magic mike that's the only fucking movie that could turn you gay is Magic Mike. And the only thing that can turn you straight is Maria Menounos. That is a scientific fact
Starting point is 00:08:50 and I'm submitting it for peer review. And by peer review, I mean I'm submitting it to Tim Dillon and Andrew Schultz and Joe Rogan, COVID Scientist of the Year
Starting point is 00:09:02 for peer review. So look, I say hats off. If people donate to this cause and they actually believe, because have you ever seen a fully gay guy? I'm talking about a fully charged, fully charged $3 bill. If you want to see a fully charged $3 bill, all you got to do is go to the pride parade in New York city. If anyone can turn any one of those guys who have half leather
Starting point is 00:09:34 shorts on and a rainbow painted on their face with a dildo half in their ass while they're dancing to Lady Gaga, if you can turn that guy gay because you're Jesus, you got a better chance of turning water into wine than turning Richard Simmons into a straight guy. Are you kidding me? If you could take Tim Dillon and make him care about the NBA playoffs, And make him care about the NBA playoffs. I will give you my Patreon. I will give you my Patreon. Tim Dillon's a good friend of mine. He's a fully charged $3 bill.
Starting point is 00:10:13 Okay? When we go to the bodegas together, I get Susie Q's and he gets Twinkies. He gets packs and packs of Twinkies. So's very funny this is his newest grift Milo hits his resurgence he's straight he's obviously come on I mean you know I don't have to say it he's obviously doing it for attention and to raise money for himself and it's a really effective move because he will get donations from people who are barely sliding into human a lot of which have short haircuts and net fat, and who believe that it's a fan.
Starting point is 00:10:50 And a lot of those women secretly masturbate to lesbian fantasies because it's called hypocrisy. Being gay is a part of nature. We know that. I mean, look at our closest cousins, the um the bonobo chimps bonobo chimps are bisexual okay they uh they're they're homosexual you see it in the bonobo chimps homosexuals have always been around and they they're when they paint their faces up and they throw a wig on they they're very, very useful during the end of an empire when guys want to cheat on their wives and they don't want the risk of getting somebody
Starting point is 00:11:31 pregnant. A hole's a hole, baby. Put a wig on it. So hats off to Milo. If you can convince people to send you money, then do it. If those people don't think you're going to take that money and buy lunch with it because you're hungry, then that's on them. So it's America. It's America. You're here to be a con man. Okay. Half of the economy now is con men. The other half of the economy is in China and that's it. So hats off to Milo for coming up with a good one. I mean, this is a good one. That's a really good one. It's almost as good as being a flamboyantly gay,
Starting point is 00:12:15 alt-right guy who looks the other way when he's at a party and guys are doing Nazi salutes. That's fun. That they let him in shows that the Nazis have gotten quite progressive. Harvio wants to say that the left side of my head looks like
Starting point is 00:12:31 Donald Duck's ass. The hustle is real. That is right, Miller Jeff 99. I love China. Someone just said, I love China. Say it. I love China and I will say it because i'm not stupid and i know that that security law that they just passed months ago um to get a stranglehold on hong kong will soon be coming to brooklyn new york and they're starting in bay ridge trust me if you live here you know you know they're here baby the chinese are here they're here so hats off The Chinese are here. They're here. So hats off to Milo. Look, if you're a woman in Long Island with big hair and you can convince people that you can talk to the deads and they pay you millions of dollars and put you on TV, am I going to blame her? She's an entertainer. No, I'm going to, again, blame a failure in public education because here's the deal.
Starting point is 00:13:24 no I'm gonna again blame a failure in public education because here's the deal nobody can talk to the deads because the deads can't talk they're dead okay and if they could talk do you think they're gonna fucking communicate to you through a woman called what's her name the Long Island medium you think they're gonna fucking send their message through the someone a housewife from Long Island? You know what I love about mediums? You know what my favorite thing is, Jess? That they can talk to the dead, which is, is there a bigger power than that? Talking to dead people is a pretty big power. They can talk to the dead, but do you ever notice they have a bad connection? They're like, I'm sorry, we haven't upgraded to 4G towers yet. I hear a B. Does anyone lose a member in your extended family, friend, or friends of friends, or acquaintances, or anyone that you
Starting point is 00:14:18 read about in the news whose name starts with a B, a C, a D, or a K? No? Okay, no, that wasn't it. That wasn't it. It's not coming in clear. It's like, what do you have, Metro PCS? What's the deal? Why don't you have AT&T? Why can't you fucking hear the dead people? You can hear them, but not well.
Starting point is 00:14:36 Is that how the talent goes? The talent is it's like fucking static. It's like listening to AM radio. Who knew that the dead people's frequency is fucking AM radio? Who knew dead people's frequency is when you're crossing state lines between Connecticut and New York and Z100 switches to a country station? Who the fuck knew? What's the balance?
Starting point is 00:15:01 If Yanni and Tim Dillon made a sex tape, I'd pay. If Yanni and Tim Dillon made a sex tape, I'd pay. Does anyone have a grandmother who passed? Does anyone have a grandmother who passed? A great grandmother. Okay, yeah, I'm hearing she wants... And this is what they always come through to tell you. They always come through to tell you that they're okay. They say they want you to know that she's okay.
Starting point is 00:15:24 And those people go, okay, good. Okay, good. to know that she's okay. And those people go, okay, good. Okay, good. I'm glad she's okay because I thought she was dead. I thought she was dead. So thank God she's okay because I thought she was rotting in the ground and worms were eating her. Thank God she's okay. I appreciate that. How great would it be if one of the mediums, John Edward or the Long Island medium, was like, okay, your grandmother's saying she's not okay. She's in hell right now. A devil, one of the devil, oh God, it's Hitler. Hitler, he got a high-ranking job in hell because the devil really liked his work. And Hitler is fucking your grandmother in the ass. She is
Starting point is 00:16:05 getting sodomized for eternity. Oh, and it's because she stole cookies and didn't tell anyone about it. She's not okay. She wants you to know she's not okay, but she wants you to repent for all your sins so you don't have to join her down there. So she's looking out for you. I'm sorry to tell you your grandma's not okay. She's dead. She was okay when she was alive and healthy, but now she's dead and she's in hell. I'm sorry. They're always in heaven. They're always doing fine. They're always doing fine.
Starting point is 00:16:33 If being dead was so fine, why are we all scared to go there? Because it's unknown. I'll tell you why we're scared. Because we're healthy. And as Chris D'Elia would say, life rips. I'll tell you when we're scared. Because we're healthy. And as Chris D'Elia would say, life rips. I'll tell you when you want to die. When you got stage four cancer or you got COVID and you're scared like me.
Starting point is 00:16:54 I was scared. That's when death seems like a good option. That's why John Stamos is going to drink the blood of children until he's dead, because that kid does not want to die. Heaven, like I said, is a downgrade for John Stamos. Madonna is, her face looks like a scream mask right now, and she will continue to drink the blood of scared children and get plastic surgery done until the last day because she does not want to go. Who would want to stop being Madonna? Okay. Now, if your name is, and you were born in the Ivory Coast and you got one arm cut off because the diamond you mined wasn't pure, death sounds like a decent option, you know?
Starting point is 00:17:45 But that's, it's all relative. Plato's Allegory of the Cave, the amenities of modernity have made it so none of us want to die. But your grandmother's fine. Hats off. Hats off to Long Island Medium. Hats off to Milo Yapanopoulos.
Starting point is 00:17:59 And hats the fuck off to the GOAT. To the GOAT. I get goosebumps even when I'm about to say his name. The GOAT, Sean King. The Michael Jordan of grifters, baby. I'm talking about a fucking first ballot Hall of Fame grifter. Here's a guy who started his grift before he even made it to the NBA, dog. He was an all-city, all-state, five-star grifting recruit from when he was five years old, when apparently he started his plan to live his life to his advantage, which is progress.
Starting point is 00:18:48 Let's say that's progress. There's a lot of racism left in this country, but Sean King clearly chose blackness and not because it was a disadvantage to him. That's at least some progress. some progress. It used to be people wanted to pass as white. Now at least some people, Rachel Dolezal, La Bumbayah, my favorite,
Starting point is 00:19:16 and Sean King, amongst others, want to pass as white. I mean as black. Shit. Fuck, man. Come on, man. Want to pass as black. So that is some progress. I mean, it's black. Shit. Fuck, man. Come on, man. I want to pass as black. So that is some progress. Sean King, his story is heartwarming. He grew up in a middle-class suburban area of
Starting point is 00:19:35 Kentucky. Found out when he was five years old, when he was five years old, his mother sat him down. He said, Mom, Mom, here's the deal. He said, Moms, can I speak to you, Moms? He said, Yo, Ma. Hey, yo, Ma, let me holler at you for a minute. That's my brother, right? All right, bat, bat, bat, bat, bat, bat, bat, bat, bat, word, word, ha, ha, ha, ha. Oh, word, word, aye, aye, word i i i wow wow here's the deal my brother is white he got that he got that indian hair he got that straight hair man he got that
Starting point is 00:20:16 white hair um you're white i mean look at you karen yeah moms I'm calling you Karen because I know you got inherent racism in you. You feel me? Yeah, I mean, um, now dad, I'm named after you, right? Yeah. Jeffrey Sean. My real name is Jeffrey, but they call me Sean because they didn't want to get me confused with pops. They didn't call me Jeff jr. Because you feel me? That's not that name name just that name is corny dog that name is corny and Sean King's in his 40s so he was like yo man that I don't want to be a herb yeah I mean you make me a herb with the name Jeffrey I ain't a Jeffrey I'm a Sean y'all mean call me Sean why Sean isn't it crazy that I did a sketch called why Sean like 10 years before Sean white Sean came into reality what haven't I predicted Marisa white Sean the pandemic the end of the world he said moms what's the deal how come I feel
Starting point is 00:21:17 how come when I how come how come I'm in love with Jordan so much? How come when I see the Jordan ones, I cry? Yo, how come? Why is that? She says, Sean, you're only five years old, but let me sit you down. Sean, let me sit you down. Mommy's a whore. Let me sit you down. Mommy's a whore.
Starting point is 00:21:51 Mommy's a big whore who can't get enough of fucking hog. Okay? And one of those dicks that I happened to cheat on your dad with, okay, he doesn't know about it, so don't tell him. This is just between me and a five-year-old. I'm just confiding in my five-year-old son. And the only reason I'm confiding is because he wants to know why he looks at his family and they're all white and they're reading Newsweek
Starting point is 00:22:13 and why I'm reading The Source. My son, Sean, wants to know why he's reading The Source at five years old. Sean, the reason is because mommy swallowed a black, black deck who was your father. Okay. It's hard to know because at that time I was, I was, I was banging all of the golden state warriors. They weren't even in fucking Oakland at that time. Okay. I also fucked Larry Johnson. Okay. I thought you were Larry Johnson's kid for a second. Basketball fans will get that. I thought you were Sean Kim. I thought you were Sean Kemp's son for a second. But then I realized, then I realized that I
Starting point is 00:22:59 fucked Devin Booker's father. He's a very light-skinned black guy. And I want to make that clear to you, Sean, because in years in the future, people are going to think you're white because your birth certificate says you're white. And before you cut your hair low, you look very white. And your whole family's white.
Starting point is 00:23:20 There's not a black family member you ever met. You grew up in a white household in a white area. So people in the future, they're going to say, Sean, we question whether you're white because you are white. So they're going to say, Sean, are you white? And you're going to go, no. My mom told me when I was five, when parents tend to tell their kids that they fucked guys behind their father's backs.
Starting point is 00:23:42 You know, five. That's the age parents usually sit their kids down and say, I fucked another guy. Your dad doesn't know about it. Don't tell anyone. That's the age that usually that talk happens. Sean, I fucked a black guy and that's your dad. Although it was hard to know, like I said,
Starting point is 00:23:59 because I did fuck Sean King and I did fuck Larry Johnson. So you're a very light-skinned So you're a very light-skinned, you're a very light-skinned black guy whose father was also a very light-skinned black guy. And your destiny is to get an Oprah scholarship that usually goes to an underprivileged, deserving African-American child. But we're going to give it to you, Sean,
Starting point is 00:24:21 to go to an all-black school. Give him credit, dog. Give him credit. I think he should be grandfathered in as a black guy. If you live as a black guy, let me tell you how good the grift is. Let's just take a second to appreciate the fucking goat for a second dog. If I cut my hair low and went to Howard University and told everyone there I was black. And the first time someone started doing the kid and play kickstep and I did it and didn't arise suspicion from an all black school, I deserve a fucking hood pass. Because you know, either Sean King, when everyone started doing the kid and play kickstep or when house party came on and they started doing that shit, you know, he either was like, nah, nah, nah, dancing, you know, either Sean King, when everyone started doing the kid and play kickstep or when house party came on and they started doing, they started doing that shit. You know, he either was like,
Starting point is 00:25:08 nah, nah, nah, dancing. You know, I'm for this. I'm, you know, yeah, me, that's not for me. Or he did it good. And he fooled an entire all black university that he was black. He fooled Oprah that he was black. He fooled an all black university was black. He faked a hate crime, which there's no record of. There's no hospital records of these major injuries. He said he had, he posted on his Facebook fan page a picture of him in a neck brace that was from a car accident,
Starting point is 00:25:34 but he wanted you to assume that was from the hate crime that never happened. I know all about Sean King because I'm studying the GOAT. Okay, he's the GOAT at Griff's. Why do you think I have a news show and I'm a scientist? It's because I'm studying the goat. Okay. He's the goat at grifts. Why do you think I have a new show? And I'm a scientist. It's because I say I am because my mom, when I was five, sat me down and said, I know you think Chris Pappas is your father, but I fucked a very, very Turkish, a Turkish scientist and journalist behind Chris Pappas' back.
Starting point is 00:26:08 And that's why you're so smart with science and news. Giannis. So if anyone ever questions me, I am a scientist and I am a journalist because my mom had an affair with one and she told me when I was five. Guys, we're brought to you again by Sunday Scaries CBD products.
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Starting point is 00:28:01 is not the 1970s. You want to be crisp and clean like a dolphin to get the fumes away. The fumes accumulate in your hair. Now, I'm a scientist, okay? I went to scientist school, and the deal is when you get that aroma of fumare, that's because you got a bush. Time to shave it down. You got to manscape your ball sack and your schween area. Get that glue gun looking crispy, okay? You got fresh sneakers on. You got a fresh outfit on, but the reason why you're not confident is because you know if you're going to hook up, especially in the summer, you got to mow down that summer steam. It is hot right now. Do not hook up without first manscaping to get rid of the fumes, guys. Manscaped has just launched their fourth generation performance package,
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Starting point is 00:29:35 to have no fumade. Manscaped.com. Go there right now. Promo code fES for free shipping and 20% off your order. They also throw in a couple of free gifts for you in the performance package 4.0. You get some boxers and a travel bag. So what's the dollars? So hats off to Sean. So now he's in a little bit of trouble. He's been in a little bit of trouble on Black Twitter. Black Twitter has been going at Sean for a while. He's been in a little bit of trouble on black Twitter. Black Twitter has been going at Sean for a while. And now Tamir Rice's mom, just today, a couple days ago when you see this,
Starting point is 00:30:12 issued a tweet saying, I never met you, Sean. I don't know who you are. You're raising money in my son's name. And then she went to say, you're a white guy pretending to be black. And she said, you sent me a check for $60,000. Where's the rest of the money?
Starting point is 00:30:34 And Sean said, I don't know. It fell. It fell. That other money fell. Did I ask you your permission to raise money in your son's name using his tragedy to make myself the spokesperson for his tragedy? No, you didn't check with me. But we can assume that only $60,000 was raised and that that $60 check, $60,000 check was given to Tamir Rice's mother. Tamir Rice, his mom thinks otherwise because she is transracially phobic. She's transracial phobic. Okay. Sean identifies as black. He's black, dog. Like I said, if you go to an all black school and convince the whole university that you're black and then make it all the way to your 30s before anyone questions it or looks into your birth certificate or finds any pictures of
Starting point is 00:31:31 you when you were a kid and you look white. Have you ever seen me as a kid and Sean? I posted on my Instagram. Scroll back. Everyone scroll back on my Instagram, Giannis Pappas. I posted a picture of Sean King as a kid and me as a kid. We actually look like the same kid. We actually look very much alike. And I get it. I found out I have, I got some Arab DNA and I have some Turkish DNA. So Sean King apparently did his 23andMe and he found out he had 1% African-American. That's good enough. That's good enough for him and for Elizabeth Warren. She's 1% African American. That's good enough. That's good enough for him and for Elizabeth Warren. She's 1% Native American. Turns out she's 0% anything. But she told people she was because it was an advantage to her. So that's progress. People are saying there are something
Starting point is 00:32:19 that they used to hide. Even if let's say Sean King is 3% black or 7% black, he identifies as black. I say call him black. I'm actually for him being black. Why not? Why the fuck not, dude? I'm a scientist. What's the difference? So Sean King, she ended her, Tamir Rice's mom ended her tweet, her letter. I'm sorry, it was a letter that was posted in tweets. White man in caps. So that's the funny part. She ended the thing going, okay, Sean, and then comma, and then all claps, white man. So hats off to the goat, Sean.
Starting point is 00:33:02 We all learned a lot from you. So hats off to the goat, Sean. We all learned a lot from you. And I'm gonna, I would like you to be in charge of my marketing dog because you pulled off one of the biggest marketing grifts of all time. You know, fuck McDonald's. You know, fuck McDonald's using Michael Jordan
Starting point is 00:33:22 to say, eat McDonald's. As if Michael Jordan's nutritionist ever allowed him to eat McDonald's using Michael Jordan to say, eat McDonald's, as if Michael Jordan's nutritionist ever allowed him to eat McDonald's. Don't you love it how LeBron James, who spends millions of dollars on his body every year, sells Sprite? How many times do you think LeBron James has a Sprite? I'll tell you how many. Zero. He's drinking fucking quinoa kiwi water and he's having quinoa salads and
Starting point is 00:33:48 all healthy all healthy vegetables at no point does he go dog i'm thirsty let me get a sprite at no point he's drinking coconut water and that's that so sean king what you know the thing is sean king like his talent shouldn't he be on Madison Avenue, like, a sociopath like that, like, you worked in advertising, like, you probably met some of the, some crocodiles, like, you looked into their eyes, and they were like, okay, so, we got this account, Camel, our goal is to make a character that entices children to smoke cancer air. So let's throw him in a convertible with a hot chick and make the ads in the bodegas low enough.
Starting point is 00:34:36 The average height of children is low, so we get children and midgets smoking. Okay, we're going to put fiberglass. Our client is Newport. Okay. They're paying us millions and millions of dollars, Jesse Scaturo. I need you and Tim Matamor to come up with a scene that is idyllic for black people. Let's be honest. Black people love, they can't get enough of the mint and the cigarette so what would be a dream for black people i want them skiing i want their teeth white as fucking snow no tar stains they're smiling they're laughing and they're giggling and do it. Sean King could have easily created that ad. Sean King could have easily been like
Starting point is 00:35:28 rose to the top of Saatchi and Saatchi selling Newports to the black community. Instead, he's selling trauma and himself as the savior. He's done some good stuff though. So I don't know. I mean, I think you can't, you can't hate the player, hate the savior. He's done some good stuff though. So I don't know. I mean.
Starting point is 00:35:45 I think you can't. You can't hate the player. Hate the game. Milo Yapanopoulos. Jeffrey Sean King. I take my hats off to you guys. What this country has done to Rachel Dolezal. She's the Louis CK.
Starting point is 00:36:02 Of the trans racial cancel movement. Louis CK. Took of the transracial cancel movement. Louis C.K. took his dick out and jerked off in front of a couple of people who he asked if he could take his dick out and jerk off. Is it creepy? Yes. Is it predatory? It's questionable. I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:36:18 You know what I mean? A fucking, a pudgy, redheaded fucking, and when he did it, he was just like a headliner. He wasn't like Louis C.K. He was just, he was like Giannis Pappas who's gonna be in Albany at the Albany Improv. I mean,
Starting point is 00:36:30 there was not like that much of a power dynamic in 2000 or whenever he was accused of doing that. So he kind of took the fall for a lot of people. Like they came down here because he was a big name.
Starting point is 00:36:42 You know, he was a big fucking name and he issued that big apology and so he took a a big name. You know, he was a big fucking name. And he issued that big apology. And so he took a lot of heat, you know. And I think Rachel Dolezal, who got a P.O. box and was sending hate mail to herself. I mean, there's nothing funnier. She was sending hate mail to herself from supposed white supremacists. She took a lot of heat because
Starting point is 00:37:05 of her. She's a pioneer. I mean, she's the Lewis and Clark of like fake hate crimes. I mean, Jesse Smollett, Jesse Smollett, I mean, he's probably getting paid to show up at clubs. Jesse Smollett is a celebrity. Jesse Smollett's probably showing up at Miami nightclubs getting an appearance fee. And Rachel Dolezal is eating bugs out of her garden to survive. It's not fair. It's not fair. She at least rose to the head of a local chapter of the NAACP. Give her some fucking credit. Sean King, okay? He was working for the Young Turks. He had a column in some paper, all right? He did some good work, and Jesse Smollett gets to walk away free and publicize Subway at the same time? You don't think Subway cut him a check for that story?
Starting point is 00:38:00 Then you don't know how the real world works, Drew. Okay, welcome to the real fucking world. You were a college student up until a couple of minutes ago. Subway planned that whole fucking thing for the same reason that China caused COVID so they could get a grip on Hong Kong. I said it. I said it. I fucking said it.
Starting point is 00:38:21 I'm Alex Jones. Now give me all the hits. I'm having a sword fight on here with Andrew Schultz in two minutes. I'm gonna punch Akash Singh and carry him out of here. I said it. I said it. Do you remember all those protests in Hong Kong
Starting point is 00:38:39 before COVID? People rising up, pro-democracy, students rising up. Guess what put them all indoors? Guess what China wants the most? Hong Kong. Hong Kong. Hong Kong.
Starting point is 00:38:55 Hong Kong is hell in a Troy for China. Hong Kong wants to fuck Hong Kong. Bad. Her beauty is fucking nice. Hong Kong wants to, China wants to fuck Hong Kong, bad. Her beauty is fucking nice. It's a great city that the British handed over to China under one condition. They remain semi-autonomous and China says, no, fuck that. Fuck that. One China, one China.
Starting point is 00:39:24 And we say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nah, just shut up. Every year we ignore it. They ain't gonna do shit. They ain't gonna do shit. China gets more powerful, more powerful, more powerful. Starts clamping down a little bit more with their allies in the government in Hong Kong.
Starting point is 00:39:36 Then the next thing you know, COVID hits and all those protesters go inside. And during the pandemic, And all those protesters go inside. And during the pandemic, China coincidentally passes a quote-unquote new security law. And let's take a look at that security law. Let's take a little peek.
Starting point is 00:40:02 Do you guys want to have a peek? I'll try to read this in Mandarin. Okay, Hong Kong security law. Now, you guys don't know about this stuff because you're an American and all that matters is who Jake Paul's fighting next. But here is what the new law's key provisions are. And this is what it means for the citizens of Hong Kong. Friend and ally to the West.
Starting point is 00:40:31 Coveted by China. The CCP China. I'm not talking about Ali Wong Chinese. I'm talking about CCP. So when I criticize, when I say China, I'm talking about the communist government of China, not my good friend Ali Wong and her sister and brother.
Starting point is 00:40:51 John McAvey was found dead with poop in his mouth. Comment roulette. Someone's just posting Israeli flags over and over again. That train is never late. We're talking about Hong Kong and somehow someone in my comments is trying to tie that to the Jews. I mean, guys, being the head of the class,
Starting point is 00:41:13 you're just going to get hate from the back of the room. And Israel and the Jews are just, the Jews have always been head of the class, emphasize education, good at shit, and they're always fucking raising their hand and being a little annoying. And the back of the class emphasize education good at shit and they're always fucking raising their hand and being a little annoying and the back of the class is just always going to throw spitballs at the back of your yarmulke yarmulkes just get lit up with spitballs by the fucking stupid kids in the back it's very funny that there's a kid in here i'm talking about hong Kong. And somehow he's trying to communicate to me through emojis that somehow Israel's behind this.
Starting point is 00:41:48 Okay. So am I being clear that I'm not for that conspiracy? Okay. We got to do a segment called Ask a Jew. Meaning like, am I cool? Am I not anti-Semitic? I'm afraid when I die, I want on my tombstone to read Giannis Pappas aka Yanni Longnays friend of the female comedian friend of trans women
Starting point is 00:42:13 friend of the Jewish people friend of the Muslim people not friend of the CCP friend so crimes of secession sub terrorism, collusion with foreign forces are punishable by maximum sentence of life in prison. Provision number one. Provision number two, damaging public transport. There will be no graffiti, even political or otherwise. That will be considered terrorism. Did you hear that, Jess? So if you want to go bomb with RD in Hong Kong, it's considered terrorism. That's not extreme. Those found guilty will not be allowed to stand for public office. Okay, that's a little something. Beijing will establish a new security office in Hong Kong. Oh, hello. So, hi. We are coming from Switzerland, Austria. Hello.
Starting point is 00:43:11 I am a pontiff for Mindfuel. We are just coming here towards the country just kind of look around and just oversee what's happening. Don't worry. We're not looking over your shoulder. Just a little something. We're not looking over your shoulder. Just a little something. We're just coming a little bit here.
Starting point is 00:43:29 Oh, hi. Hello, Hungary. We're just some Germans just going to look around for the real estate prices. No big deal. No big deal. So,
Starting point is 00:43:40 obviously I'm showing where we've heard this type of stuff before. So Beijing has established, I'll just read this with a German accent, no security office in Hong Kong, with its new law enforcement personnel, neither of which would come under the local authority's jurisdiction. Now for the Franks and Beans followers,
Starting point is 00:44:02 of which there are many, listen to this podcast. What that means is China is bringing its own law enforcement personnel. Those would be called the SS in the 1940s. And they are not subject to Hong Kong's local authorities jurisdiction. Meaning if some Hong Kong cop goes, stop, you can't, you know, you can't do that to the child.
Starting point is 00:44:28 You can't shoot him. They go, sorry, I work for Manchur. So, the offices also can send some cases to be tried in mainland China. Okie dokie. But Beijing said. It will only have that power. Over a tiny.
Starting point is 00:44:49 Just a little number. Just a tiny number of cases. Nothing big. Don't worry United States. Don't worry England. Don't worry NATO. Don't worry. Just a small.
Starting point is 00:45:00 Just a small amount of cases. We'll take back to mainland China. Where they will never be heard from again. And we'll be the ugar muslims to fucking mine child hearts and rhino horns um in addition hong kong will have to establish its own national security commission to enforce the laws with a beijing appointed advisor hi my name is Pontius Pilate. I work for the Caesar and I run shit now. Hong Kong's chief executive will have the power to appoint judges to hear national security cases. Wow.
Starting point is 00:45:38 So, hey, your name is Pontius Pilate. You were a judge. Get out. Get out. What are you talking about? Get out. I were a judge. Get out. Get out. What are you talking about? Get out. I'm a judge. Get the fuck out.
Starting point is 00:45:48 I have orders from Martin Fuhrer that you now work at Panera Bread. Enjoy. Hong Kong likes Western business. Go hand out puzzles at Panera Bread and Hong Kong Avenue. You're no longer a judge. Here's a new judge from china i mean how is this not bigger fucking how is this not talked about on every fucking podcast or is it because two people are too busy talking about tony hitchcliffe saying that c word
Starting point is 00:46:19 which he shouldn't have done or are we too busy talking about trans fucking women power lifters are we listening to these provisions do i get too loud sometimes it's a symptom of my um tumor which a fan said they don't want me they don't want jesse to ever take me to the doctor to get the tumor shrunk because the come on biden um segments are too good so they want me my cancerous tumor in my head to grow just for their entertainment um importantly beijing will have power over how the law should be interpreted not any hong kong judicial or policy body If the law conflicts with any Hong Kong law, the Beijing law takes priority. I mean, China has taken Hong Kong, what you call, surreptitiously.
Starting point is 00:47:16 Look the word up. This is what they've wanted to do. This is what they said they were going to do. And they're so smart and savvy now, they did it in a way where everyone's got their fucking head in their ass while it's happening. And coincidentally,
Starting point is 00:47:33 this security law took effect during COVID. And COVID originated in Wuhan, where there was a coronavirus lab in Wuhan. Don't ban me, Facebook. I'm just saying what Jon Stewart said. Some trials will be heard. This is a good one, Jesse.
Starting point is 00:47:55 You're going to like this one because you have a brain. Here's another provision. Some trials will be heard behind closed doors. I mean, this is too good. Right under our nose. People suspected of breaking the law can be wiretapped and put under surveillance. What's the Dallas?
Starting point is 00:48:18 What's the Dallas? People don't really understand the importance of Hong Kong as an outpost for western democracy and a foothold for the west in the east and how much that bothered china and how much china wanted hong kong and how much now they've taken it um while we were busy um making sure grandma didn't die in louisville kentucky management of foreign non-governmental organizations and news agencies will be strengthened. The law will also apply to non-permanent residents
Starting point is 00:48:53 and people, quote unquote, from outside Hong Kong who are not permanent residents of Hong Kong. So what that means for my Franks and Beans fans, all of which we are, is that if you're visiting Hong Kong on vacation, right? Let's say you met a girl on Raya because you're some sort of fucking influencer and you went to Hong Kong to fuck her. And while you were staying with her, you didn't know that her apartment was wiretapped by the new judges that were implemented by this new security law via Beijing's allies in Hong Kong and Beijing. And her fucking apartment was wiretapped not only did they find out that you can't make her come good they also found out that you had
Starting point is 00:49:31 a conversation about how the west is the best and how china is murdering muslims can you put your passcode in franks and beans guess what happens to you? You become one of those very tiny fraction of cases that get extradited to Beijing for adjudication. Doesn't matter if you're a US citizen, a British citizen
Starting point is 00:49:58 or a Swede on holiday. I'm just a Swede on holiday. I'm just half a month off. We don't really work. We have healthcare. I'm just a Swede. My name is Magnus and I'm a Swede here. I'm going a Swede on holiday. I'm just half a month off. We don't really work. We have healthcare. I'm just a Swede. My name is Magnus. And I'm a Swede here. I'm going to Thailand next. I'm going to Thailand to get sun.
Starting point is 00:50:11 So then when I turn 40, I look like I climbed Mount Everest for a living. Because only Swedish people beautiful till 40. Because we drink so much, we turn translucent, have heart attack and die from depression from no sun. You go to Beijing for adjudication. So why am I talking about this? Well, because what just happened was they just shut down a pro-democracy paper, right? Which was our previous leader's dream to do to cnn so via this new security law um a very pro-democracy newspaper in hong kong was just
Starting point is 00:50:57 shut down finito done like stand-up comedy. A lot of the weekends are going to YouTubers. The era is over. Hong Kong's autonomy is over, Johnny. You've been usurped by the CCP. So hats off to the CCP. Hats off to Sean King, ccp the long island medium milo yapanopoulos hats off hats off you guys are winning okay um what's the guy's name i just said from schultz's podcast he just did it come on what's his? The guy who said that the crisis actors in Newtown. Come on. Come on. What's his name? Alex Jones.
Starting point is 00:51:48 Hats off to Alex Jones, who told his massive following that the parents of the dead children in Newtown were crisis actors. And then when they brought a lawsuit against him, said that he's a comedian. He plays a character. So, I mean, now he's a judge on Kill Tone. He's like a comedian now. So it's like, he's doing well. I mean, he gets big fucking numbers.
Starting point is 00:52:19 Hats off, dude. Hats off. Hats fucking off to the people who will do anything for a following will do anything for the numbers here's the thing about becoming king of the hill here's the thing when you go the only thing that matters is the money and how big i get it makes you a lower animal you just become the queen of a fucking hyena den. You become a lion. You're a lower animal. And the best of humanity is when we are above the basis instincts of domination
Starting point is 00:52:55 and climbing to the top. When we have a nice balance of competition and a societal awareness. and a societal awareness. That's the problem. That is the problem when you do things without a conscious, not unconsciously, with non-conscionally, whatever the fuck the name, when you do things without morality, without principle, that's the consequence.
Starting point is 00:53:26 Yeah, it's good for you in the short term. You make a million bucks, you get a million eyeballs on you, but these fucking mind viruses spread and these evil actors capitalize on our blind spots. Hats off, CCP. You know what our fucking blind spot is? Money. And what did you do? You shut down the global economy. You know how in Silence of the Lambs, where the dude cuts the light off when Clarice Starling is breathing heavy? We didn't even know Jodie Foster was a lesbian back then. She was pissed. Okay, remember he cuts off the lights and puts on the night goggles? That's exactly what the CCP did to the world while they took out Hong Kong. They turned the lights off. They turned the lights off
Starting point is 00:54:11 and they moved under cover of darkness. Am I the only one fucking putting these together? Come on. It's not even a conspiracy. It's what you call obvious. We just want to remind you here at Long Days, we're a comedy show. This isn't to be taken seriously.
Starting point is 00:54:33 I'm not Alex Jones. I don't make my money purporting to be a media head. I'm a stand-up comedian in a comedy. I did not mean that at all. CC, please do not murder me. It's a joke, guys. I don't know what's going on it's the us's fault it's racism's fault black holes are fucking racist cornell and ivy league school is teaching a course about how black holes the term black holes is connected to racism
Starting point is 00:55:02 the the thing about black holes are j, I don't know if you've ever seen a black hole. You can't see them. You want to know why? Because they're black. They're completely dark. Can't we just call them dark holes? Let's make these quick compromises. All right. Like let's go. Okay. I'm spending a hundred thousand dollars to send my kid to Cornell to study science. Okay. I understand critical race theory is permeating every field now. Instead of me spending $100,000 for him to examine whether black holes are connected to racism, the term black holes, can't we just quickly compromise and fucking scientists get together and call it dark holes?
Starting point is 00:55:45 Just call it dark holes. But then they'll say no, because darky is slang. Darky is a pejorative that's used by racist people. And then you're like, oh, fuck, when does this end? Just call it a white hole. It's a white hole, even though it's black. Even though it's fucking completely black. When you look at it, the color is black.
Starting point is 00:56:02 The color is fucking black. We can't call it a black hole words cannot have two meanings anymore you can't understand two meanings we're not grown-ups anymore we need to be spoon-fed okay black people being called black is just we know what that means it doesn't mean they're fucking the color black. They're kind of more brownish and beiges than if you want to be, should we call you instead of black? Should we call them? Can we call black holes black? And then we'll call black people beiges. I mean, how, let me help. Let me help with the racism. Okay. Either we call it a white hole or we call black people beige and keep it a black hole so the racism is gone
Starting point is 00:56:46 i would love to take that course that's one science class i think i could pass you raise your hand and you just go yes it is racist and they go a you go wait a second what are we going to learn about astronomy theory and all that shit are we going to study quantum physics and you go no not this class this class is about the term black hole and how that is connected to racism and perpetuates stereotypes of infinitudes and platitudes of um privilege and uh genderless bias and witches and white supremacy. It's indoctrinated in the youth. White is good, black is bad. Even though American Express black card is the top card.
Starting point is 00:57:41 We look into everything. You know what colleges have become now? Remember the movie Boomerang, where Martin Lawrence plays that character? We've become a comedy dog. Like Milo Yapanopoulos' speech about opening a conversion center, I almost felt like I was watching Chappelle's show. It's like a comedy. You can't do comedy anymore because comedy's in the fucking world. It's in the fucking world. Martin Lawrence played a very hilarious character in the movie Boomerang, one of my favorite movies of all time,
Starting point is 00:58:10 one of the most underrated comedies of all time, where he sees racism everywhere, right? Because like I said, nowadays people's job is to find racism. So finding racism in some way equals job security. If you're a grifter but martin lawrence was playing pool and he's like the game is over when the white ball drives the black goal off the fucking earth and then and then um eddie murphy goes oh yeah and i see so he goes oh so the the the the the the pool the the pool table's green,
Starting point is 00:58:45 so that's the earth, right? And he goes, now you're thinking. Now, you see what I'm saying? I mean, that's essentially a course in Cornell right now is something that was part of a comedy movie. Yanni has one black hole eye hole middle face. Comment roulette, where I look middle face. Comment roulette. Where I look down, I read the comment.
Starting point is 00:59:06 Thank you very much, Troy Heffle. Hefflefinger. This gets screenshotted for contention of comment of the episode. Cool.youd wants me to know that all holes matter. I was happy when they changed black boards to white boards. And that's coming from a black kid. So, you know, there's a lot of people who have sense of humor and common sense. Yanni's eye spacing was caused by Windex exposure in utero.
Starting point is 00:59:40 Sean King is as black as a Kia serving fried chicken and watermelon on Juneteenth. So that's comment roulette. I look down, I read what I say. Did they do that? That's amazing. They might've done that. And that might've been a major marketing tragedy, or that could have just been in this asshole and comment roulette.
Starting point is 00:59:57 Dude. First of all, watermelon and fried chicken. Everyone loves, you know, who he loves watermelon. Greeks love watermelon. Like you could easily use that stereotypes for Greeks. Greeks are also late. Greeks and blacks have a lot in common. watermelon and fried chicken everyone loves. You know who loves watermelon? Greeks love watermelon. Like, you could easily use that stereotype for Greeks. Greeks are also late. Greeks and blacks have a lot in common.
Starting point is 01:00:11 You know, blacks like to say, what's up, motherfucker? They like to say motherfucker a lot. Guess what Greeks do? Tikanis malaka posisa malaka. Malaka means, what's up, great champion masturbator, the number one masturbator of all time. We say malaka every other word.
Starting point is 01:00:23 We call it Greek time. There's a Greek time. That's a stereotype against us because we're always late black people have uh cp time um there's a lot of similarities they were enslaved for 400 years we were enslaved by the ottomans for 400 years we all got big dicks those statues gave it away nobody would know if it wasn't for those fucking statues with the puny little beans i want to see some fucking basketball player statues. I want that classical era of like Roman art to come back, Greco-Roman art. And instead they do like James Harden and the kid's just a fucking tripod. Somebody says, can I put a camera on that fucking guy? Because he's got three legs. One of those legs being a massive dick. Now here's the deal. I know it's a stereotype, but it's a good one.
Starting point is 01:01:06 And here's the deal. I played basketball and I was in a locker room with a lot of black guys, okay? In high school and college. And not all black guys got big dicks, but the biggest dicks I've ever seen, shout out Tim Fudd at American University. It's, you go, you think that you need to get glasses.
Starting point is 01:01:28 You go, wait a second, is that too close? You think, you're like, maybe I gotta go see, I mean, the kid had a fucking bat. And I'm not talking about who's the Jewish kid who was at a big dick in porn. Who's that Jewish kid who was at a big dick in porn. Who's that Jewish kid? Yeah, the guy who's getting sued or whatever now. I'm not talking about Ron Jeremy big.
Starting point is 01:01:56 I'm talking about his dick is too big to get hard. Okay, this is Frank's and Bean's operation. Sergio's here. I'm talking about he'd have to hold his dick in. Okay, leave it. Because I'm talking about when he got a hard-on, he fainted because all the blood went to his dick. My mom was in rehab with Ron Jeremy.
Starting point is 01:02:31 Come on, man. So Cornell, shout out to you. There's a lot of grifts going on right now. We may title this episode grifts. Just quick note, there was a Kentucky rave where one guy got his throat slashed and another guy got impaled and a woman was choked out by a guy. So that's exactly the type of rave I would expect in Kentucky. Fucking lit. If I go to a rave in Kentucky and somebody doesn't get their throat slit, there's not a flag that says fuck Biden and a woman doesn't get choked out.
Starting point is 01:02:59 That's not a rave dog. Okay. Raves in Kentucky. I expect at least one to four people to be dead. So shout outs to Kentucky for living up to what Kentucky does killing people. Um, let's just pause for him to come in and we'll just cut it in. What's up family. We are also brought to you and I'm very, very honored and happy to have this sponsor on the show. You got to get yourself some Magic Spoon cereal. It's delicious. They sent me some and now it's
Starting point is 01:03:32 going to be my breakfast of choice. We were all kids. We all love cereal. Well, guess what? This one is for kids. It's also for adults. It's for everybody. And it's pretty healthy. They got zero grams of sugar. I'd say that's very healthy. 13 to 14 grams of protein and only four net grams of carbs in each serving. That's only 140 calories a serving. It's keto friendly. So if you're on keto, It's keto friendly. So if you're on keto, get with it. It's gluten-free, grain-free, soy-free, low carb, and GMO free. You get the variety pack.
Starting point is 01:04:12 That's four flavors. They're cocoa, fruity, frosted, and peanut butter. My favorite is the peanut butter. I love peanut butter. I love it. It's an all-star. Okay. These are great flavors and it's healthy and delicious. star. Okay. These are great flavors and it's healthy and delicious. And it tastes exactly like regular cereal that you enjoyed when you were a kid, but it's much, much healthier for you.
Starting point is 01:04:32 So if you're a health nut, if you're concerned about your health, which you should all be, we need you healthy in order to continue to watch this show. Get yourself some magic spoon cereal. You got to try it. Just try it, and you're going to love it, dude. It's a healthy, healthy breakfast, and it's not boring, which is fun. Everyone loves cereal. You had some, right? Jesse had some. He said it was delicious. We both love it. So what you got to do in order to get yourself and get yourself hooked on Magic Spoon cereal, this healthy-ass cereal, is go to magicspoon.com slash fumes. You know my promo code is fumes, doggies.
Starting point is 01:05:12 Shout out Louis J. Gomez. Magicspoon.com slash fumes. And be sure to use the promo code fumes at checkout to save five bucks off your offer. One, two, three, four, five bucks off your order. So magicspoon.com slash FUMES. Check it out. Pick your flavor. They're all good. I like the peanut butter. Jesse, what'd you like? The fruity? Jesse likes the fruity so this is a no-brainer guys magic spoon magic spoon.com slash fumes use the promo code fumes and get five dollars off your order so sergio's here um obviously rigorous podcast with marisa is at patreon.com slash yanni long days her and Sergio going off, go join. And John Stamos is back in the chat.
Starting point is 01:06:07 John Stamos. I know John Stamos. The universe has brought together the great and talented John Stamos and the not so great John Stamos. Okay? What are the odds that my nickname is Special Needs Stamos and the real John Stamos shows up just to remind me how special needs I am.
Starting point is 01:06:27 Here's the deal. John Stamos, there was just an article in the Los Angeles Times about how he's the most underrated actor, TV actor. It's true. The kid's talent is endless. And a lot of it gets overlooked because of how beautiful he is
Starting point is 01:06:44 and because he sold yogurts for a little while. But let me tell you something. You go back and you watch Family Feud, Family Matters. What was it called? Full House. I'm just joking, John. I know what it is.
Starting point is 01:06:59 It's comedy. You go back and you seriously, this is, I'm not being facetious. He played this Greek dude. He sent me the clip, Cousin Stavros. I mean, he's hilarious. He was hilarious on Full House. That Disney show I got addicted to.
Starting point is 01:07:12 I watched the whole thing. It's about female basketball players and it's on Disney. John Stamos doesn't know a thing about basketball. You watch that, you're like, this kid probably coached at Indiana. That's how good of an actor he is. He's hilarious.
Starting point is 01:07:23 And the kid is a musician. It's not fair. It's not fair. And he's Greek, which means he's a superior people. He's superior. He's friends with Jesus. He has a face like Jesus Christ. Yanni has a face. He represented the Greeks. He represented the Greeks. How he keeps his face looking young? Because the Greeks put olive oil in the face. Black people put the Vaseline. Greeks, we put the olive oil.
Starting point is 01:07:56 Everything we put the olive oil. Keeps you young. So, Yiannis, this is what Y Giannis Stamos means to the Greek community. We protect him if anything happens. Anything. John Stamos is like to the Greek community where Derek Jeter is to New York. Derek Jeter. How many women did he make sign NDAs?
Starting point is 01:08:25 I used to work at a nightclub. I saw Derek Jeter out there every night partying. Not one accusation from a woman. Not one person tried to sue him for his money. Why do you think that is? Why do you think Derek Jeter was never sued or got into any trouble? The amount of philandering and partying he did. I'll tell you why. Because New York protected Derek Jeter. Okay? You accused Derek Jeter of
Starting point is 01:08:54 a crime? Guess who's showing up? The NYPD. Guess who the NYPD is? 40,000 Yankee fans from Staten Island. They're showing up going, what happened happened here he's saying he hurt you do you know what time you know do you know it's a fucking playoffs what are you fucking crazy now how come you got cocaine on you you got fucking cocaine so you want to go home you want to go to jail you want to go home they did the denzel on them when they accused derrick jeter of something the nyp just became denzel washington from training day they're, you want to go home or you want to go to jail? Because it's the second round of the fucking ACLS and Derek Jeter is king.
Starting point is 01:09:30 That is the way Greeks treat John Stamos. Okay, John Stamos could murder my mom and I'll be like, you know what? She fell. She fell. We need John Stamos out there representing the Greek community with a face like Jesus and the talent that is endless. He's a god.
Starting point is 01:09:56 He has philotimo. He's Greek spirit. Did he leave or is he still there? Growing up, John Stamos was my favorite actor. He shaped me from TV since I had no dad. Everyone knew about it. He's a good man. So these are facts.
Starting point is 01:10:14 Thank you, Jason Fibres. These are facts. John Stamos is protected at all costs. He's protected at all costs. You could put it like this. If anybody tries to sue or say anything bad about Stamos, we will take him like the Capitol Guard police took AOC and throw her back into her office and protect her. Nothing will happen. You're safe. Stamos, as long as I'm here, I will be your ineffective bodyguard, okay? You're my Whitney Houston. I'm your Kevin Costner. Someone tries
Starting point is 01:10:52 to do something to you, I will jump in front of the bullet for John Stamos. Can I be your stunt double in your next Disney movie? Can I be your lighting stand-in? Someone just said, Stamos greater than Cosby. The Long Island Greek is looking more like a young Howard Hughes. I don't know what that means. I'm not from Long Island. If there isn't a Greek buddy cop movie starring John Stamos and Yanni Nagasaki, I'm going to be upset.
Starting point is 01:11:24 That would be funny. Yanni extra frankenbeans for wearing a green shirt against the green screen last episode. Yes, I'm sorry. I know I wore a green shirt. I mean, what do you think this is? What do you think this is? Okay. My studio is in my old apartment.
Starting point is 01:11:39 What do you think we're doing here? This isn't HBO. There's no wardrobe person. Jesse smoked weed for half of his life. He forgot. I mean, what do you want me to tell you? He's a finger painter. Sergio Chacon just walked, and he's got a parakeet in his fucking backpack.
Starting point is 01:11:53 He loves animals. And talk about someone who loves Sean King. It's Sergio. He bought his book. Franks and beans. I said, Sergio, what Tamir Rice's mom posted today, and Sergio went nah man nah it's not true it's not true um lastly california oh my liver hurts oh god um so the supreme court's back in action jess we'll end on this supreme court's's back in action. And they ruled in favor of a cheerleader who was suspended from the cheerleading squad for posting on social media,
Starting point is 01:12:32 fuck school, fuck cheering, fuck whatever. And the Supreme Court ruled that is a violation of the First Amendment. This is a big ruling since there hasn't really been a student kind of public school First Amendment issue since the Vietnam War era. So the Supreme Court upheld the First Amendment here saying, hey, outside of school grounds on her own time, you know, she can say what she wants. She can express herself. Teenagers have to be free to express themselves. They don't always say positive things. It's all part of the growth process. I hope we take a lesson from that. You know, people say wrong things. It doesn't mean they're horrible people. People grow, people change. And maybe her school sucks. Maybe her cheerleading squad sucks. Who are you to say, oh, she gets suspended because she's fucking making
Starting point is 01:13:18 the school look bad. She was off school grounds, but they did have a caveat that, you know, there's these other it's, it's, it's, you know, yelling, yelling, firing up in a movie theater type things where you can't say this on school grounds. You can't threaten people in the school, off school. There's caveats because guys, this isn't a comic book we live in. Okay. Adults need to negotiate and navigate the grownup world. And a lot of times there's gray zones and context always matters. So everyone, please get off the internet, pick your head up and grow the fuck up. I'm Yanni Longdays
Starting point is 01:13:55 and let's talk about some Patreon episodes. Patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays. Go join, get in the bathtub. I will not stop until my cult of long haulers is bathing with me while I bathe doing the bonus episodes every week. Squeaky clean. I tried to end it and the fans, the long haulers said, no, we want it. Because I thought maybe this is a little too crazy that I'm doing the bonus episode in the bathtub. And I said, guys, do you want me to do this officially?
Starting point is 01:14:24 And they said, no, we're bathing with you now, cuz. I found a new joy for bathing. It relaxes you. It's like an ASMR video. It's like a Klondike bar. Don't take Klonopin. Bathe with Yanni. Patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days.
Starting point is 01:14:42 The Rigorous Podcast with Maurica is available now at the five dollar level that's it to watch it with maurica and sergio chicone check it the fuck out also i got dates coming up soul joels i will be doing more resorts a character show july 31st royersford pennsylvania then i got tampa in august uh then we got uh no i'm sorry we got san antonio in august and then we got tampa in september then we got richmond go to my um website yannis pappas comedy.com. Jesse took away the S, too many there. So that's the actual address. Franks and B.
Starting point is 01:15:28 Okay, go to yannispappascomedy.com for your tickets. Check my tour schedule. Get those tickets if you live in those areas. And join the Patreon, patreon.com slash yannilongdays.
Starting point is 01:15:38 We got expenses here. Support the show. Be a producer. What an era. Now, for some small business shout outs. I got to start with my boy. He's about to get his video up on my gram and all my socials like he deserves. You got to give it up for Mike Milanov. Okay. We don't know if he's Romanian. He hasn't told us. He hasn't
Starting point is 01:16:01 told us. Was it Romania? No, it wasn't romania bulgaria fuck i mean one of those countries you never think about one of those countries are like formerly of the roman empire that just never uh you know adapted a identity for itself you know i think romania bulgaria had a few like big-time gymnasts but that's not enough to make people care about your country. Mike Milanoff, you got to follow him at Thix Nation on the gram. T-H-I-X-N-A-T-I-O-N, all one word, Thix Nation. The kid is a wild kid. I think he lives out there in Beverly Hills. The kid's got a little moolah.
Starting point is 01:16:39 I don't know what his profession is, but I think it has something to do with dealing drugs, okay? And he's going to get his video from Long Island Larry very soon. Your video's going up. Okay? Now, what are we doing here? MS-13 is everywhere. They're on the windows.
Starting point is 01:16:54 Don't leave the city. Be careful. Okay? I want to go to King Cotland. I want to get a sandwich. Long Island, what's going on? Meet me at the Whit Walkman Mall. Meet me at the with warm and wall meet me at the wit waltman wall we're brought to you as always by uh god it's so good to have this guy in the
Starting point is 01:17:14 ecosystem of yanni long days rob's mental playground rob's mental playground you got to go follow this kid because he's a fucking hyena wild. Go to robsmentalplayground.com, YouTube, Rob's Mental Playground, and just buy something from him. Support the show. His art is incredible. He's finishing up the hyena in the bathtub. Rob's Mental Playground.
Starting point is 01:17:40 Follow him. Then we're brought to you by exclusiveautoshipping.com. Shout out to Jared. follow them then we're brought to you by auto uh exclusive auto shipping.com shout out uh to jared um get your if you're moving your car anywhere exclusive auto shipping.com get your nationwide free quotes um no matter what you got a car you're moving you got to move it you know who to call exclusive auto shipping.com i think they have fucking national commercials, God damn it. Eastside Cheesecakes. When are you sending the cheesecake? I gave you the address.
Starting point is 01:18:09 I want my cheesecake. Send me the cheesecake. Give it to me. My key lime pie cheesecake. Dude, go look at their gram and just your mouth waters, okay? You might get a chub in your pants. It's so good you can tell.
Starting point is 01:18:25 These guys do everything from scratch. They're a couple, Julia and Gregory, from New York that moved to LA during the pandemic, started this company, and their gram just keeps growing and growing, and their orders are growing and growing. Eastsidecheesecakes.com if you're in the Los Angeles area, get yourself a cheesecake. Go follow him on the gram. That's where it starts. Eastside Cheesecakes. Okay. And eastsidecheesecakes.com. Check them out. Follow him on the gram for your food porn. Joseph DeMonte. Guess who went to Blue Agave today and had two mojitos before we filmed? Me and Jesse Scatoro. Love Blue Agave. Support local in Bay Ridge. Go to Blue Agave. Get yourself a Casa D'Or.
Starting point is 01:19:08 Blue Agave, Third Avenue. Follow them on the ground for food porn. Blue Agave, Bay Ridge. All one word. Max, Mr. Good Guy Long. You got a refrigeration problem? Don't hire a bad guy. Hire a good guy.
Starting point is 01:19:22 A guy who listens to podcasts in his truck where he works out of. Okay? The guy works out of his truck. Seattle and Palm Springs. If you're in those two areas, you're moving to those two areas, and you got a problem with your refrigerator. If all those things line up in your life, where you live in Seattle or you live in Palm Springs.
Starting point is 01:19:40 You live in Seattle, Antifa's come in there and broken your refrigerator and spray painted it. You know who to call. Max, Mr. Good Guy Long, Good Guys Refrigeration. Check them out. Call them up. And that's it. Now for our Patreon members. Welcome to the Long Haulers. Okay, so John Stamos wanted me to read this so I'm gonna read it not just because it's complimenting me but because it's complimenting me John Stamos in the chat said I love you I love you I love you and before you said nice things about me I told everybody what a genius you were I said you were the Greek Robin Williams not because you're just as hairy as him
Starting point is 01:20:21 because you're just as fast and funny and i love you and i'm not just saying this because you're saying nice things about me read this so i just read it john there you have it he also said uh my nose is brown and and white uh some from the yogurt and some from putting my my because i'm brown nosing his ass so there you have it i was giving him compliments but you know we do protect john stamos at all costs now to the patreon names join patreon.com slash yanni long days for bonus episodes every single week including the rigorous podcast with maurica for maurica fans um so uh and including uh other content as well so please join support the show patreon patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. First up, new to the long haulers, we got hooked on Yannis like phonics eating Sonic. Kid's got a bad diet, but he listens to the podcast.
Starting point is 01:21:15 Then, of course, we got the modernities of amenity. Backwards, amenities of modernity. Then we got Sonia Gonzalezinez sonia's in here shout out sonia our friend sonia thank you sonia then we got uh adam solomon kevin pomfrey pomfreet kevin pomfreet isn't that potatoes in belgian uh french or whatever then we got maxine caruso maxine carusco maxi make sure the sauce is sliced in then we got Maxine Caruso. Maxine Carusco. Maxine, make sure the sauce is sliced in. Then we got Jaeger Vaden, or Jaeger Vaden, however you pronounce it.
Starting point is 01:21:53 Welcome. Christian Victoria Martinez. Nikki, my glue stick is the KKK because it always has a white hood on Schubert. So the kids got an uncut glue gun. Then we got Heather P., Drew, Wilson, and Katie Shelton. I love when couples join together. It's like they get a discount. Then we got Wiener, Klitt, McGillicuddy.
Starting point is 01:22:24 Wiener, Klitt, McGillicuddy. Thank you. Then we got Landon Bolts. Welcome, Jordan. Then we got Chrissy D. Left Yanni P. Harder than the lean of AOC. I don't really quite get that.
Starting point is 01:22:37 Harder than the lean of AOC. Tyler Bergen. Then we got Daniel. Screwed in kid. Here for the content. Straight to the back. Then we got Aaron. Welcome, Aaron. Then we got Cutiel screwed in kid here for the content straight to the back then we got aaron welcome aaron then we got cutie with a smoothie and a big old ghetto booty that's a good one probably the best one then we got jose penguin ramirez i love those chicken
Starting point is 01:22:58 fingers what's up penguin then we got matt powers tatiana petford tatiana Petford, Tatiana Petford. And that's it, right? That's it. Patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays.

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