Yannis Pappas Hour - The Real Jimmy Fallon Show

Episode Date: June 11, 2022

Yanni imagines what the real Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon would be like if he was being honest and himself. Yanni proposes some new show ideas that will engage and stimulate the over-stimulated population we have become. Are they a little hunger games-esque? Yes they are. You got to admit they are inventive and hilarious! Also, this week’s news story out of San Francisco ties in nicely to a theme in Yanni’s new hour special MOM LOVE, which is available on YouTube. District attorney Chesa Boudin has since been recalled because people are sick of the crime wave. His policies as district attorney were pretty empathetic. Is he actually on the side of the criminals like his parents were? You heard that right. If you want to learn more about his background and his criminal parents, this weeks Extra Longday (Patreon bonus ep) delivers on it. It is a goody: https://www.patreon.com/posts/67565983Also, Yanni tells a hilarious tale of a drunk Mexican who disappeared forever in a pile of garbage bags. Also, he addresses what has killed comedy specials and no it’s not Gringo Papi. Sponsor:Express VPNhttps://www.expressvpn.com/fumesweekly bonus episodes here: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysSubscribe to our clips page for podcast highlights here: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwThe show goes out every Saturday. Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Good gender non-conforming day to everybody out there. This is the Grecian ex-American comedian Giannis Pappas here with your long day. What a week we have going on. The war rages on between Russia and Ukraine and looks like Russia's stealing some grains and they're selling it. They're grain dealers, illegal grain dealers. Cool, there will be Hollywood movies coming soon about cool Ukrainian grain dealers

selling grain on the black market, causing panic in the EU and food shortages. I had no idea Europe was dependent on Ukrainian grain. What can you even make with grain? Pancakes. Just switch your breakfast to eggs for God's sakes because you get your eggs from where the chickens are, France, because France are chickens. They couldn't defend anything. Ask the San Francisco DA who's being recalled. His name is some French thing that we'll get into. I think it's called Boudou. Yeah, the DA Boudou, who is progressive, who got narrowly elected on the platform of let's put our shoes, self in the shoes of the criminals

and how they feel. Doesn't seem to be working so well in San Francisco, so he's facing a potential recall. But I could have told you that because he's a chicken. French are chickens. The one thing they can't do is defend anything. Not at all. They couldn't even defend Johnny Depp against Amber Heard and her web of lies. A British journalist is missing in the Amazon.

Try to care about that one. I'm going to bring it up because I want to see if you can try to care about that one. With all that's going on, gas at $5, $10, $15. It's like a goddamn fucking Sotheby's auction at this point. UK firms are experimenting with a four-day work week following in the trend of what the French have already done. I'm going to give the French points on this one.

There doesn't need to be a five-day work week. A five-day work week was improved from the seven-day work week that was set by Norman Rockefeller and all the rest of the industrial capitalists that were just reliant on immigrant slave labor to feed their coffers while they built trains. Thank you for that, though. And the rest of the stuff, buildings, thank you for that, though. But I don't know if you needed all the money that you inevitably gave back to build libraries and mansions that became museums anyway.

Is there an end to up? We will find out today. Do you deserve healthcare? Should elderly people have to pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for their care or should we just kill them so they don't become a burden on the healthcare system because doctors need boats? It's a real mess out there, Bubbas. Don't try to make sense of it and solving it can't be solved. I don't care what AOC says, Latinx is offensive. I agree with you. I guess, does anything make sense? I'll lick her clean like a cat. This is Long Days. Let you all tucked up in the David Maugham. And the news online going on and on.

What's right and wrong. And there's something up. Now here comes a great kid you know you can trust. From the true who's who. To the news and cameras. To the fake politics. And the propaganda. Get his kids screwed in.

Got a lot to say. Aw shit. It's about to be a long day. It's a long day. It's a long day. Jared Horvitz in studio, Jesse Scaturo. Welcome to your daily, weekly, monthly, yearly dose of long days. We like to do a podcast that is relevant for about 13 hours.

And by the time it comes out, it's about four days late. So that's what your news is. What's the difference? You get your news now, it's highly editorialized anyway. So take your pick. Do you want it highly editorialized or do you want it late?

Okay, I say late because we age like a fine wine or a brandy, just nice or like Shakira. Shakira's now single. She's broke up with some guy who got sick of fucking her, which just lets you know there's no such thing as perfection on this planet. Because even if you're fucking Shakira, which by my estimation, and I haven't checked the pew polls

on this, which we will check a pew poll or something else in a second. I will say Shakira may be the hottest human being on the planet. Okay. And if you look at her now, there's a strong case to be made that she's not human because she hasn't aged at all because she's done this TikTok challenge. My money don't jiggle, jiggle. It falls. She did this thing i think she did a jimmy fallon appearance you know um when's he gonna just fucking throw himself off a ledge and say i can't do it anymore i want to see the jimmy fallon show just with a bottle of jack on the table bottle of jack on the table sitting down going what's up sweetheart what's up, sweetheart? What's up? My name's Jimbo. My name's Jimbo.

After he fucking shoots a beer with a Jameson Chaser, which is what his heart wants. Will the real Jimmy Fallon please stand up? And by stand up, I mean get off that bar stool and try to stand. I think she did an appearance on his show. And, you know, they sat down and he giggled, giggled, giggled. You got fake giggles all the time, dude. Yeah.

He is. He's like a dude trying to impress a girl for the first time. Yeah. He is. He is. His giggle. I love Jimmy Fallon. He's a great guy.

I've met him. He's a great guy. But, you know, there does come a point where after you're counting all your millions, you just got to ask yourself in retrospect when you get to that third quarter of life, did I enjoy it? Do you think he's enjoying it? Do you think any of these guys are enjoying it? Jesse says yeah.

What else is he going to do? I mean, he can go out there and get on stage and say what he really feels. Who wants to do that? The guy can play a game show and have fun. Yeah, it doesn't pay well. Yeah. It doesn't pay well. But does it really pay well to sit there and talk about Shakira

and interview her in a corporate-friendly, sponsor-friendly interview? Is there any worse interview than a late-night interview? Nobody summed it up better than Bill Hicks. So are you driving? So are you driving? So are you driving? You got a new car? Are you dating somebody? I mean, the people don't want to hear it, dog.

They want to hear Shakira on long days where I'm going like, let's talk about the honeydew nectar you got between your legs, sweetheart. Is it more pineapple flavored? Or is it more melon-esque? Demonetized. Yeah, I want to ask her, be like, Shakira, like, can you move,

do you move like that in the bed? Like, you know, I want to be like, first thing I would ask you is, how quick did your husband come when you guys first started having sex? I don't think there's, if we were not such a puritanical country, I think we could have a fun Guinness Book of World Records contest to see who comes the quickest. I think Shakira would be up there. Like, if you were banging Shakira, the nut...

She's a nut gatherer. You know what I mean? Like, I think nuts are attracted to her the way negative and positive charges are attracted to each other. I think it's like a fucking magnet on a fridge. As soon as you put that dick in her, the glue just flies out. She's so sexy. It's unbelievable. She don't age, bro.

She got the same genes as Big Mac. She looks good, dog. She's in her 40s. Usually women in their 40s. I got so much heat for that clip I posted about Ellen Barkin dyeing her hair. I got so many women were like, eee. And you know when you get that much backlash, it's a little truth, dude. It's a little truth.

It's a little truth. All those women are managers of bowling alleys anyway. Yeah, it's a little truth, dude. It's a little truth because all those women are managers of bowling alleys anyway. Yeah. It's a little bit of truth. It's a little bit of truth when a woman's got a haircut like that. You know it could be a little bit of an annoying combo.

And it's a little bit of truth to the fact that a 40-year-old woman usually looks about 65. And that's not my fault. That's nature. I mean, don't blame me. I mean, George Clooney still looks great. Matthew McConaughey's well into his 50. I mean, George Clooney still looks great. Matthew McConaughey

is well into his 50s, maybe close to 60. Guy looks great. And then you pull up, you know, you pull up Winona Ryder and you're like, what happened?

What happened? Yeah, did they beat you down after you stole all those clothes? Yeah, I mean, Hollywood, come up with some new ideas. How about a show called Kleptomania hosted by winona rider where she goes into stores and sees what she can steal or she hosts it where

she has other celebrities who are trying to feel you know trying to do something to feel and they try to steal how funny would it be to watch uh carmen diaz try to steal a pair of jeans from the gap that would be a fun or they put two celebrities up against each other and see who can get away with that yeah like a snatch and grab snatch and grab who can get more who can get away with it if you get arrested and then if you get arrested we kill you listen we need higher and higher and higher and higher levels of entertainment. Reels online have got us down to a 90 second, 60 second attention span. Sometimes people will speed their clips up to like speaking twice the speed on the 60 second reel to hold your attention.

Okay. You pretty much got to have your tits and balls out on the fucking thumbnail to get people to click on it. Okay. It is an attention competition economy. We're competing for attention. So we need more. I can't just watch the same old prank show.

I need something more. I need death. I need the stakes to be a little higher. Are we about ratings or are we not? Because let me tell you something right now, Bubba, that would get high ratings. I mean, don Because let me tell you something right now, Bubba, that would get high ratings. I mean, don't give me the moral speech now. Don't give me the morality speech now. It's a little late for that, America. It's a little late for that. Hollywood, don't give me

that morality speech now. It's a little late for that. I saw that little fucking show you put on Netflix when those girls were tweaking and they were seven. Tweaking or twerking, same shit. Big difference. Twerking is usually a hot girl moving her buns. The other one is a fucking fentanyl addict on a corner. It's Charlie Sheen. Yeah, it's really the difference. There's a big difference between tweaking and twerking.

But when you're Yanni and you mispronounce words all the time, you can bring those two together in a podcast called Long Days. We need more. I'd like to see that show. I'd like to see the real Jimmy Fallon show where he walks in hammered. How great would it be a post-Jimmy Fallon interview of Jimmy Fallon

after the real Jimmy Fallon show where you try to see if he can remember the show? How great would that be when he's like I don't know man I was blacked out the whole time and I was like that's the fun of it dog do you remember when you jumped out of the your chair and and and tried to grab Shakira's tits like yeah I was hammered we're like we know dog it's the real Jimmy Fallon show he goes yeah that interview with Queen Latifah was great. It was like, yo, it was Michelle Obama. Exactly, yeah.

It's like, you had the wrong person. He's going, oh, wow. That would be great to watch him interview Queen Latifah as if she was Michelle Obama. Even after she reminds him it's not her, he just keeps asking because he's so fucking hammered. And make him do it standing up to watch him just fall over like a Mexican after a long, hard day work. One of the funniest things I've ever seen, because nobody works harder than Mexicans

and then nobody drinks harder than Mexicans. You can always see them in the back of a Korean market if you're in New York City, like sitting at whatever the table, you know, Korean markets always have one or two tables for people who don't take their buffet food to go. Like the rare people who sit in the back of the market and eat their buffet food there. Okay. During the day, you'll see, I don't know, some weird people sitting there eating their buffet food.

And then at night, you'll just see a table of Mexicans with 40 ounces after a 14-hour day of work getting obliterated. They just like to get beer and they like to drink. All of them in polo shirts. Mexicans never do work in the proper attire.

No, it's always polo shirts because they love to shop at Marshall's. Yeah, they will dig a ditch in church shoes. Yeah, you go to Marshall's. That's sort of like uh it's like the mexican bloomingdales i knew it was funny when it came out of my mouth uh so one time i think were you with me jesse we went into this like hipster bar this was back when hipster stuff was that hipster stuff seems to be disappearing I think I think it's disappearing nice little pandemic little uh reset I think it's kind of like they're growing up or something like that I don't know where they

are yeah it's in they're in Austin yeah I guess a little bit there I think they're in Austin now I don't know where they're going but this was like the height of it and me and Jesse used to go to this bar um that was like one of the early outposts of like gentrification on Fifth Avenue and Park Slope. This is irrelevant to you

unless we have a predominant Park Slope listening Park Slope Brooklyn listening crowd. A little image for him. Yeah, I'm painting a picture. Yeah.

So it was like you got to imagine this bar. It smells like spilt beer and wet dogs of course as most white bars do. A little vomit thrown in there.

There's a dart board. Maybe a little bit of that fucking game, the bocce board. Whatever the fuck they play, where they line up, they love that. Now it's pickleball. Whatever white people can do for an unathletic, drunk sport while they drink beers, they'll find one. Now it's pickleball, which is basically like autistic kids' tennis. Where it's like a tiny little court and they go out there and they fucking hit the ball

and the court is the size of this table. Don't forget about Can Jam too. The Frisbee. Oh yeah. What is that? Can Jam is like you throw the Frisbee and you have like a little circle that you gotta try to make it in.

I didn't know you had a PhD in white bar sports. You know, when you go to Jones Beach, you get one. White bar sports should be, there should be, why is that not in the Olympics? White bar sports. White bar sports should be, there should be, why is that not in the Olympics?

White bar sports? White bar sports should be, you know, it should be fucking darts. What is it? Bocce? Pickleball? What else can we do? Shuffleboard. Shuffleboard.

And axe throwing. Axe throwing. And boring conversation. Yeah, the country that would win that event would be Brooks Brothers. Brooks Brothers, yeah. There's no dancing at a white bar. There's no dancing. You go to a black bar,

you're going like, did you guys get a permit for this dancing? Because anytime you go to a black bar, there's dancing happening, and you need a permit for that. But the music's a little more conducive for dancing when you go to a black it's like you know music you can move to you go to a white you go to a white bar it's like is this the end don't make me higher

karma police it's like Radiohead Yeah This is your four minute warning Which is a song about nuclear war Yeah It's a little less of a party Yeah More of a just You know

It's always deep lyrics That you find out That talk about real simple shit Yeah Like this is the end It's like yo what is he talking about Oh he's talking about the time That his dog died

Yeah Yeah Yeah I would love to go to a Like a dance I'd love to go to a Radiohead a dance i'd love to go to a radio head concert where people were forced to dance you know because i love radio head but that would be great if you go to a concert and they just this is your full minute warning and people just go

under the dance floor and just everyone just goes out there and blows their own brains out um so we were at this bar and i was a hipster bar and white people were standing around and this hammered mexican walked in do you remember this yes so this hammered mexican walked in he goes to the bar and of course it's one of those bars that got like ipa or would you like this vermont cider or how about this equivalent to a stout but it was made in my basement or bathtub or this was grown on a roof in red hook and fermented in my uh wife's vagina and it's great it's got a taste it's a mixture of vagina stout uh mixed in red hood brook. It had all those homegrown beers. But he goes in and he orders a Corona.

I was surprised they had Corona. He orders a Corona and then he's stammering. He's by himself, which obviously means he just left his buddies and he wasn't ready. He's the one guy and they drink hard. He was the one guy that was like, I need a nightcap, where the rest of them were just like, they're all like, they all stumbled into something. Like, they're all like, none of them made it home,

and he's not going to make it home, but he's the guy who's going to have one more. He's the guy who could potentially disappear, where the other ones would just wake up on the street. He could just be gone. He could just disappear somewhere. He could just jump in the ocean because he thought it was his house so he goes and he has one more and he just starts standing around various groups of white people do you remember that he was just so like there'd be white people like talking and he would just go stand there and they would just be talking and kind of just like

notice him and like but didn't you know they're like white polite it's sort of like when you go on a train in new york and you can tell people who aren't from new york when there's like a really smelly bum on the train they just stand there and pretend not to they don't want to be rude so they're just kind of trying to avoid the smell like the smell's coming and they just kept trying to move their face but they don't want to be rude whereas if you you have a real New Yorker who gets on that train, they're like, oh, fucking hell, doll! This motherfucker stinks! The fuck out of here, man! Jesus Christ!

With your stanky ass! And they just move cars. You see those people, the doors open, someone from New York gets on there, oh, this fucking piece of shit stinks like shit! And they just move, and then you just see these white girls just standing there taking it. Don't be rude, don't be rude to the guy the guy just i don't want to hurt his feelings i'm going

to sit in this shit smell because it'd be rude to not it's one of those they were like nobody said anything to him because they didn't want to be rude to him so they just stood there and like you could tell the girl they would like glance at him for a second waiting to say something i wanted to say he doesn't speak english not and if he did, he can't talk it right now. He doesn't know where he is, dog. He just wandered into a place that had alcohol, and he doesn't know what's going on. He's not trying to be part of your conversation. He's just standing.

But then he would go to another group, and he would just kind of fucking waddle around. And he did that for about an hour or two hours. Nobody said anything to him. And those groups that were talking stayed longer talking to each other because they didn't want to be rude and walk away from him. It was really fun to watch. It was really fun to watch.

They stayed there because he was there and they didn't want to leave him alone. So they just had to keep talking. Have you heard the new Arcade Fire? And they just had to think of another Arcade Fire song talk about and another one and another one they're like how about kings of leon i like them so much better when they were just playing in the east village and they weren't big once they went pop it was like have you tried this new vegan pizza in williamsburg it's really great actually it's queso but it's not queso and they just stood there while

he's sitting there going like i want to lick ass in his mind. I want to eat you. I want to eat you. I want to eat you, asshole. Give it to me. And so then finally he stumbles out. And I was like, were you with me? I was like, I got to go see where this guy goes. So I left behind him.

Were you there? I think so, yeah. Yeah, so we went out. We followed him because we got to see what happens to this guy because he's barely standing. Somehow he found the door. I think he tried to push a woman because he thought it was the door first. He went to a woman. He was trying to open her.

And of course, she just stood there. Don't want to be rude. Don't want to be rude. I think he took her tit and he was going like this. Finally, he found the door. He walks out. We follow him out. And I wanted to see what happens.

Like a pinball. Like a pinball. Like a pinball. He falls into the gates of stores, like closed gates of stores. Like, bang! And then he waddles back. And then, bang! Because he can't stand. Until finally, like a fucking pinball or a game of pool, he bangs off a store gate right into a pile of garbage bags you know how much mexicans

struggle with gates yeah he goes like this ping ping like a ping ball into the bags of garbage bags and fucking disappeared in them we went we started looking for him in there he was gone which made me think it was like a portal to another drunk Mexican dimension where he showed up and there was more beers available. That's just the definition of getting lost in your work. Yeah, he just showed up and there was other Mexicans like, hey, welcome. You found it. And they just kept drinking fucking Medellos. I mean, the guy disappeared, dog.

He was like disappeared into the garbage bags. It was like a whole pile. And he's just gone. So something reminded me of that. And I don't remember where it started. Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Fallon. It would be great to watch that show. The ratings would go back up. The ratings would go back up. Or if James Corden was still in the air, we'd do a real James Corden show where we put hot guys with their shirts off and you put one of those

pulse sock meters around his cock and see what happens. We see what happens. You know? How great would that be? That would be great james corden is uh has left the show to go do a lot of straight stuff and i'm just joking we can't talk too much about jc i'm because the last time we did an episode about him i really went in and somehow that that episode was really shadow banned. So I think there was probably some harassment and bullying.

Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo! Isn't it the ultimate privilege to get offended by the words of a comedian? Is there any bigger privilege than to be offended by words?

Boo-hoo! Boo-hoo! You bully! I want to see one person on this planet who has dealt with illness or the illness of a family member or is struggling with job security or even just is tired after a long day of work. I would love to see one of them ever get offended by something a comedian says.

They don't. It's the ultimate fucking privilege to be like, oh my God, did you hear what this guy said? It's like, yeah. Yeah, I liked what he said because I need some entertainment because I just worked at 12 hours with Mexicans in the kitchen. They work hard. They really work hard. So we digressed prince prince harry and megan merkle are having a baby and it is actually the first baby in the royal family that is not related to itself. So this is the first baby that actually has a shot at a decent immune system.

And they didn't have to cut off a second head or a 15th toe. This baby actually has enough distance in its gene pool that it may come out normal. You know? pool that it may come out normal you know and lo and behold the one normal baby we're gonna get in the royal family is has been excommunicated from the royal family because of a racist grandmother or something like that it's gonna be the first light-skinned royal baby hitting three pointers in water polo it's the first royal baby that may end up coming out with an album. Dog, if you're Meghan Merkle and Prince Harry's son, you got to come out with an album, dog.

Call yourself what? Call yourself the prince and the pauper, the feral prince, something like that. Is this the baby? Call yourself Lil Haggis. Lil Haggis. I like Lil Haggis. This is the baby? Call yourself Lil Haggis Lil Haggis I like Lil Haggis This is the baby? Yep Wow

Megan Merkel's jeans did not hold up No it did not It got beat up Oh man Look at that baby Looks like Chito Santino's daughter Holy shit It's a redhead

By the way I'd like to say something about the Gringo Poppy Okay We talked about the Gringo Poppy in the last episode Let's expand on that because a lot of people called you out for being in the personalized video congratulating him on that special and then the last episode you just shit all over yeah but you see i wasn't shitting specifically on the gringo poppy i was saying if it would be like if i heard which i have over and over again especially in my own comments on my own special about how bad it was.

Now, I haven't seen the Gringo Poppy. Let's be clear. I haven't watched anyone's special. The only specials I've ever watched are like Chappelle's specials, Burr's specials, and like Ricky Gervais' specials. And I haven't even watched the newest Ricky Gervais. I've watched Chappelle.

Those are the only specials I watch. I don't watch any other specials and I haven't even watched the newest Ricky Gervais I've watched Chappelle those are the only specials I watch I don't watch any other specials I haven't watched a comedy special of one of my friends or anyone else in a long time because you want to stay away from like having that in your head right and plus like it's like when you're doing comedy for a career you want to be as far away from the thing that you do for work as possible. I don't get it. I don't find it interesting to watch comedy. I want to watch murder documentaries. I want the opposite of happiness because it's my job.

That's what I do for balance. So I have not seen the gringo poppy. I was not shitting on it like I've seen it. I was saying, if you listen to what I said, it would be like I heard we were talking about the Sussman trial, which I have heard. I've heard that it's hammered dog shit. So that's what I've heard.

Now, as far as, yeah, me being in the video, yeah, his producers asked me to be in the video. I haven't watched the special. I like Brendan Schaub as a person. I think he's a very entertaining MMA commentator. And for a guy who's been doing comedy for a couple of years, he's pretty good. Like, can he not make a comedy? Especially, he's got 1.3 million views.

He's like the Ric Flair of comedy. He's a really good heel. People hate him. They're tuning in to hate him. Get your fucking shit. I don't blame him. I'm not a studio exec. I i'm not a uh connoisseur of comedy because you know a lot of the people that will say that gringo poppy sucked i'll see

them say say some other special was great and that special is also dog shit so for a guy who shouldn't be doing comedy because he's clearly like fucking handsome as fuck and big and like i don't know if he was like the funny kid growing up. Who knows? Who knows? But he doesn't have a lot of comedic flaws. It doesn't look comedic. He looks like he should be the undercover detective in a Mexican cartel. Yeah.

He looks like the guy in a Mexican cartel that shows up to strong arm you. Yeah. Right? And he can. He's a guy who can hurt you with his bare hands. But he is a kid that talks like his tongue is too big for his mouth, though. Yeah. Every time he says, hey, what's up, brother?

Oh, Giannis, what's going on? Yeah, he does a little bit. Yeah. It's nice. Yeah. Listen, Kalilah, I didn't do that. All right? I wasn't in your DMs.

I just came here to clear it up. Yeah. Yeah, he does talk like that. That's pretty good. Pretty good impression of Brendan Schaap. I like Brendan Schaap, so I made the video. And here's the thing. I haven't watched either one of the specials,

and I won't because I don't watch other comedian specials, but also I have no interest. But, you know, hats off to him. He made a special. Why not?

People are tuning in to hate it. What is... It's got a lot more views than my special, which is damn good comedy. I'll just say it because, you know, it is what it is.

I know people hate when you do that, but whatever. You're self-aware, dog. I'm self-aware. I'm good at stand-up. What do you want from me? I've been doing it for a long time. 20 years in, bro. I've been a class clown my whole life. It's something I can do. I've gotten better at it, but comedy's my calling.

It's what I've done my whole life, even when I was a kid. Brendan Shaw was not. He was a football player, then he was in MMA, and now he's in the comedy. And he's got an audience. Why the fuck not? Why the fuck not? Is it hurting comedy and comedy specials? Not more than any of the other fucking shit that I watch on television.

There's a lot of fucking, and I don't watch them, but maybe a clip. Someone will send me going, look at this garbage. And I'll look and I'll go, it's fucking garbage. Or a lot of the clips i see online for a second there's a lot of fucking garbage out there that would not fly in front of a fucking live audience for an hour that now that it's within clip form or whatever people get fucking fan bases because someone saw a comic do 45 seconds on shit and then they go see him and the guy can't do an hour and when you go see someone live you want to see a full show and that's what the internet has done and then tv and netflix have also killed specials because they've given everyone with a

story a fucking special and put the actual content and the skill level of the comedian last and they've either done that or they've given them to legends where it's like those guys already made their great specials everybody already fucking knows who they are. Netflix will give Helen Keller a special right now. Yeah, if you're deaf and blind and you tell a joke, you got a special. So they killed special. And plus their taste is fucking horrible.

Let's just be honest, they're bad at their job. If I had like a 20% connect rate on my jokes, I'd be a horrible comic. I got a 37% connect rate. But if I had a 20%, they, I mean, let's be honest. These executives, eight out of 10 times put out shit that doesn't succeed. I mean, how the fuck they keep their jobs? Us comedians, the ones that have created like good podcasts or whatever, we put out, connect, we give, we're actually creating something people want to watch.

And the evidence is right there by the numbers of the people who are watching it. And we don't need scripts. We don't need fucking studio executives. We don't need notes. We don't need nothing. So, I mean, it's like I would do a lot better job of picking a special. But then you run into the problem of like comedians start putting their friends on. So it's fucked either way.

Just like every other issue in the world, there's no easy solution. You just need a religious dictator to take over and put people in programs. That's the only thing that's going to keep us together as a country. I am waiting for evil Joel Osteen to do it. To fucking run for office. Not even run for office. Just fucking take it by force. One goddamn speech at an arena at a time in the heartland with all those hillbillies and believers with their AR-15s. I want them to just show up and take over every single vegan pizza

spot neighborhood in the planet and force us all into goddamn Christian programs. It'll be fun. the planet and force us all into goddamn christian programs it'll be fun then art will be back because you'll have to like you know do your art in silence the way black people did and they created the best art possible great art comes from oppression so oppress us joel olstein take us rick desantis ain't gonna go far enough i want i want to i want a religious dictator that makes all sexuality illegal, ankles illegal again. We deserve it. We deserve it. We have this freedom and this is what we've done with it. This is what we're doing with it. Drag shows at preschools, fucking gender doesn't exist, fucking AR-15s in children's schools. You walk into the supermarket, you got to go through a metal detector

and go with army protection just in case you get shot by someone who's upset that a girl didn't look at them. This is what we've done with the freedom? Basketball games being thrown by fucking referees. This is what we've done with it. We deserve it. We fucking deserve it.

Criminals running rampant, fucking going into right age, stealing whatever they can, and then district attorneys in San Francisco going, well, what was his childhood like? Don't arrest him. Ask him if he's sad. This is what we've done with it.

We deserve a fucking evil julius caesar type of dictator who's religion-based who comes in and throws us all into burqas christian muslim burqas i want to see the fusion of extreme christianity and extreme islam the way Cubans and Asians have fused their food, which is good. You ever had Cuban Chinese? I want to see that type of fusion. I've had Dominican sushi, though. Yeah, and throw the fucking Orthodox Jews in there, too.

I want to see a fucking stew of radicalized, diverse religion that comes together and throws us all in re-education camps and forces us all back into sunday school muslims and jews coming together yeah they get down and pray on a rug five times a day but since there's jewish the rug is hypoallergenic absolutely hypoallergenic rugs five times a day uh christian puritanical sexual repression and And Jesse is no longer allowed to wear UGG dudes. Hey dudes. Hey dudes. Jesse, you've given into comfortable footwear too early in your life, cuz.

That's what you're going to be wearing when you're 70. These shits are fly. You don't like these? Well, you know what's going to be fucking... I'm going to... Part of your fucking... Part of what your compensation for this podcast is going to be is going to be a pair of donks.

I don't want them. I know you don't. Hey, dudes. Hey, dudes. You look like you churned butter with the Amish with those on, son. What's up, guys? We are brought to you this week by ExpressVPN. Everyone needs a VPN.

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You need a VPN. Don't keep being on the internet, scrolling around without one. Express VPN. So congratulations to the royal, I guess the royal non-royal family. Do you stop being royal if you're kicked out? I mean, isn't it all about bloodlines? So aren't they, for all intents and purposes, isn't he still the inbred son of Diana

and the other guy who wasn't the Arab sheik that she got killed for. Prince Harry. And who was the guy with the big ears? Prince William? Charles. Prince Charles. I don't keep up on the

I don't keep up on the royal family because it's fucking stupid. It's always been fucking stupid to me. All right? It's fucking stupid. You tell me you got a fucking prince.

You got a fucking prince. You got a fucking prince. You got a fucking prince. You got a fucking princess. And you got a fucking queen. You got a fucking king. Where? I'm supposed to fucking pay for this? Are you fucking crazy? What are they fucking doing?

They make laws. Are they fucking keeping these Democrats out of my fucking neighborhood? What the fuck are they fucking doing? Let's make everything interesting. Let's stop. We need new ideas. Like I would like to see a sit down show where you take the royal family

and you put them in a house. Okay? Like real world style with a bunch of firefighters from fucking Brooklyn. Deep Canarsie. I'm talking, no, how about this? Fucking Howard Beach. Deep Canarsie. I'm talking, no, how about this?

Fucking Howard Beach. Let's go further. Howard Beach firefighters sit down and go, what the fuck are you doing? And they go, hey, hello. How are you, Sean?

Sean, hello. I'm the prince. And they go, and she puts out her hand to kiss and he's like, what the fuck are you talking about? You fucking old bag. What are you fucking talking about? You look like my fucking grandmother. And the only thing they will out her hand to kiss. And he's like, what the fuck are you talking about? You fucking old bag. What are you fucking talking about?

You look like my fucking grandmother. And the only thing they will connect on is booze. Because she'd be like, would you like a little whiskey? And he'd be like, I got a fucking Coors. Yeah, I'll fucking chase that with a Coors. She's like, you don't, this is a Louis XIV. This is a 300-year-old brandy. He's like, yeah, I fucking, I chase my Coors with it.

He's like, I wouldn't put the cause. I wouldn't drink a cause before. I would sip it and enjoy it. I'm like, fuck it. Give me that fucking thing. Oh, dear. Let me take it down the fucking gullet. I was at the firehouse for 14 hours yesterday.

It was a fucking fire. Some fucking hipster down there in fucking Williamsburg, fucking his marijuana plants got fucking on fire, burnt the whole fucking house down. I need a fucking beer. Okay. Cheerio. That would be a fun show.

We're coming up with a lot of good TV show ideas now. Would you not watch that show? Oh, hell yeah. Chris Italia, I hope you're listening. Yeah. Chris Italia, I hope you could hear past your own breathing to hear this. Shout out Chris Italia. one of my dear friends. I love him to death.

But Jesus Christ, we got to get that guy a fucking stomach staple operation. I mean, dog, he's got to have his headphones on like 107 because of his own breathing. It's inside jokes, but he'll see this clip and he'll love it and then he'll go oh a thyroid problem do ya you know how fat people fat people call it

a thyroid problem I call it Snickers bars hidden in a cabinet so Elon Musk looks like he's backing out of the Twitter deal he's definitely pole positioning

against Twitter he's saying they lied about the bots and now it looks like it's going to end up in court Jesse that's what it seems like hopefully it's televised just televise all court drama now at this point please this whole episode is about finding new types of entertainment to keep us

going everything's been done i mean look at what schultz is doing you know he's trying to up the game he looks you know it's like a million dollar studio he's got lavaliers now looks like one of just uh jeffrey epstein's satellite houses. Yeah. He's smoking weed with Joe Rogan. I'm going to have Joe Rogan on and we're going to do fentanyl and see if we live. See if that gets hits at will. What's in his fanny pack? What do you think? In Joe's? Yeah.

Probably some bear repellent. Some survival kit stuff. And of course a tube of ivermectin in case he gets into a little trouble. You can just rub that all over his body and it's like a force field against Dems.

Joe's the best. He's got a sense of humor. He must hear all this shit. You know, he just hears all this shit. You know, he hears it. And he knows,

like he's such a humble, nice guy. He just knows comedians he knows. He's such a humble, nice guy. He just knows comedians make jokes. And that's what we do. We all keep each other humble. And we all deserve it. All of us deserve it. Constantly.

And the amount of arrows I get. When you're up on top of the hill, it's just people up there just going. And he just fucking takes it. Even when it's not comedic. Even when it's like you know real people coming after him um so god bless the guy but elon musk is definitely uh so you think it's gonna end up in court and either way he wins right because either he's gonna get a lesser price for twitter or he's gonna be able to back out of the deal he's probably having buyer remorse right now yeah he came in hot yeah he wanted to pay them

like 54 dollars a share or something like that dog he's like a rapper who just had a single with drake having a verse on the song and the first thing he did was buy a bentley and then he realized music's free and he's like whoa i just performed for 14,000 people, but I forgot that Drake was the headliner. And whoa, I forgot that music is now free. And the video's doing pretty well, but Drake's on it. And YouTube monetization, they give you,

nobody understands what your cut is. Slightly better than Spotify, though. Slightly better than Spotify. Yeah, it's even freer on spotify and he's going oh man i bought this bentley i gotta call drake hey drake um i bought this bentley under false pretenses right it's kind of like that yeah because what's the price he bought it for again i don't't care how much money you have. Yeah. He bought it for, what, $44 billion? Yeah, something like, well, that was the original price that he offered. Yeah.

I mean, he's not going to get that return. I mean, Twitter's free. I mean, you've got Twitter Blue where you can pay. I use Twitter Blue, and the benefits you get is you get ad-free news. Nobody gives a shit about that. And you get to upload videos that are longer than two minutes and 20 seconds those are the only benefits you get from twitter blue at this yeah at this time the problem is once you get people used to the free model you can't turn it into a subscription

model no they have advertising business so they make money off ads yeah they make money off of ads it's what's ruining the world yeah so it It's what's ruining the world is ad-based news as opposed to subscription news. When the world made a little more sense, the New York Times made their money off subscriptions. You couldn't, you had to buy the paper.

So I have a joke about that in my half hour on Comedy Central and, you know, like most things, it was ahead of the curve, but I'm right. Right? I always show up early to the party.

I'm either too early or too late. I always show up early to the party. I'm either too early or too late. You always show up early to the party, but no matter what, your hair is not fixed. My hair is never fixed, never gelled. But my joke on the special was they did not adapt to the internet.

They went on and they kept the newspapers too long. What they should have done is just went digital and just told all their subscribers, we're going digital now, same subscription. Boom, and went straight on. Instead, they were late

and they let all these other fledgling news organizations get in there and quote unquote journalists with their Twitter accounts get in there and start posting news and shit for free. And of course, people are gonna take the thing for free over the subscription. So once you condition them for free news, you can't go back. You can't go back.

Nobody likes to go back in lifestyle and pay for something that they were initially getting for free. It's not going to happen. Right? So they didn't adapt. It was wild. I remember that period too. I remember that overlap period where like there was newspapers still everywhere,

but like clearly people were reading all their news online. It always takes these cruise ship of industries too long to adapt. Now finally, it looks like the entertainment industry is adapting to the internet. Now they're getting their tentacles and everything and buying a podcast

and they're going to ruin the art of it like they do everything. But at least people will get paid for a little bit. You know, hopefully this will get bought. You know, I'll sell out and I'll go over to fucking whatever, you know, and then get yelled at by some folk artists who were upset that I have a big reach. And, you know, I'm a little skeptical about the vaccine, which, by the way, he was not wrong about everything.

He wasn't right about some things. And the things that he wasn't right about, wrong about everything he wasn't right about some things and the things that he wasn't right about you should assume he wasn't right about it because he's an mma fighter he's an mma fighter and his uh his medical consultant was uh uh a phd from a university it's a different type of doctor right that's like if you're on a plane and you're having a heart attack and you're like is there a doctor in the house and brett weinstein stands up and goes i do have a i do have a fucking thesis i wrote on economic uh ramifications of sociological situations it's like a ted talk from 9-11 survivor and steven yeah when are we gonna stop calling those people doctors have we not disrespected the job a doctor enough when some

fucking gender studies professor has a doctor on her goddamn check when you go to her check and it says doctor and you go what kind of doctor are you are you a pediatrician and she goes gender studies professor it's a cliche joke but it's fucking true well how did they get the job even my mother who had a doctorate of law right and she got it like late in life like it mattered but it's like you got a doctor of law you got a doctor in law it's what does that mean you're not a doctor why are you able to call yourself a doctor can we come up with another name like official bullshit artist can we give doctor you know how much you know how hard it is to become a doctor opiate do you know what they got to go through?

Do you know the type of job they do that they save all those from all these fucking injuries and keep us alive? And we can't let them have their prestigious title? I mean, how crazy is that? That's kind of crazy. What's another thing that has like an important title that you need? Right? Is there a title for something? Accountant. What is an accountant? They an important title that you need? Right? Is there a title for something?

Accountant. What is an accountant? They have their own thing, right? An accountant is a... CPA? CPA or, you know, it comes with a... What's the thing with Esquire? Esquire's lawyer, right? And then you got the...

I think it's a yarmulke comes after the name. Imagine they were just giving away yarmulkes. What is it? What is it? Imagine that you could just call yourself an accountant because you got a degree in farming. It's the same thing, right? They follow with the MD. PhD, MD, yeah.

What, you're talking to doctors? Doctors specifically, yeah. Yeah, I mean, this whole PhD doctor shit has got to go out the window. Okay? It's got to go out the window. Just leave, if a doctor's a doctor, I need to be able to know

who is a real doctor and who is not. It's like the difference between Latin and Latinx. Yeah, it's the difference between Latin and Latinx, which is a big controversy. A big controversy that is not a controversy, so it's fun. It's a fun one because AOC just recently posted, you know, she likes to broadcast that girl. She's a millennial who likes to broadcast in the way millennials broadcast on her feed, right? Or the way also Trump liked to broadcast. These two really have took the cake as far as like social media savvy.

It was really Trump on the right and AOC on the left. And they both became stars. They both became stars in their era and they were the ones that ushered this era in. You got to remember before Trump, Obama did not win his two elections online. They were not won online. They were won through traditional media. And then AOC, you know, she rose up. She was just as much an outsider as Trump was, okay? Trump was a businessman personality, more personality than an adept businessman if you get into the heart of it. But, you know, has a lot of money,

inherited a lot of money, made some money, lost some money, made some money. But he's not a, he ain't no fucking Warren Buffett, all right? He's had a lot that's failed, and he's been bailed out tons of times by taxpayers in bankruptcy, which is always ironic when the right gets bailed out by socialism.

You know, it's what it is. I mean, that's what it is, Jesse, right? When you file for bankruptcy, you get bailed out by the taxpayers. The government... Yeah, well, they wipe out your debt. They wipe out your debt, and the government foots the bill. And the government's well they wipe out your debt they wipe out your debt the government foots the bill yeah and then the government's money is from taxpayers

about you saying that sounds right i think it is i think actually we can say that confidently yeah yeah it better be yeah hey the irs a lot yeah i mean where else do they get their money the government taxes taxes so it's so so socialism bails out capitalism all the time Yeah. I mean, where else do they get their money? The government. Taxes. Taxes. So socialism bails out capitalism all the time. Yeah. All right. And it doesn't go to say I'm a socialist because I like a mixed economy. I just like the balance.

Okay. Just put me on there on the seesaw. You cannot have too fat of a person on either side. That's what the world should be. A perpetual, oscillating march forward between left and right, depending on the time. Things get a little fucked up, you need a little socialism to bail it out. You need a little stimulus, you got to give some tax breaks to get it going.

So things, that's how the government should operate. You know, they're both necessary. They're both necessary. You can't just have a monopoly board, unfettered capitalism. You can't have that where one guy ends up getting 40 trillion and then he can't lose money because his money's making money on interest. And then everybody else is fucking, you know, eating their shoes. You can't have that. You know, at the end of a game of Monopoly, you're like, what do we do now? And I guess the guy who wins goes, I don't know. I guess I enslave you now. I guess you guys are my slaves.

I mean, you know, you have to reset the board. And that's where regulation comes into play. Why is that not everyone just going like agreeing on that? Like, why? Because a lot of people don't understand what you just said. Right. But it's like so obvious. don't understand what you just said. Right. But it's like so obvious. Did you understand

what I said? I understood. Yeah. But there was, you know, people don't like seesaws no more. That's true.

Yeah. They just associate with child molestation now. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to see any single guys hanging out

at play areas. That was the original twerking for kids. Yeah, it was. The ass was going up and down. That's right. You know you're not allowed? Good.

As a single man, you can't be in a playground. They have signs up. I like that. I don't want any male teachers for my daughter until she's a teenager. I don't. I don't want any. I had a joke about it on my special, but it's just true. I just don't want any fucking guys.

I don't care. I don't care if they show me a wife and kids. I don't care. I just prefer a woman because no women do that. No women do that, okay? I'm a feminist there. No women do that. And I don't want anything that's called,

I want a woman. I want a biologist. Is that bad? I want a biologist. I just want a woman. I want a, how should I say i say i want a person with a womb watching my kid okay i want a person with a fucking womb watching my kid until she's a teenager and then some she can have some fucking male professors but until then and when she's fucking

12 i want a person with a womb as a teacher. Call me conservative. So AOC put up a video. So here's this, here's the issue, right? Latinx. We've gone over it before, but what does she say? Let's hear what she says here.

Let's hear what she says. I wanted to have a note. Ready? Yeah. Under inclusivity in Spanish language, people sometimes like to make a lot of drama over the term Latinx. Hold on, pause it.

Pause it, pause it. Let's take a second to appreciate the Sergio Chicone faking that he speaks Spanish moment that that was. So I'm going to speak with a total American accent. I don't like it when People create a lot of drama About the term

Latinx Wepa Rita Que suena punto punto cinco nueve She really leaned into that She stormed Alamo on that one Yeah Latinx She really leaned into that. She stormed Alamo on that one. Yeah.

Yeah. Latinx. Latinx. I like to live in America. Everything's nice in America. She's discovering her roots now. That's the thing. She said she went and she found out about the laconic. Because she obviously has some native, like a lot of latinx people i got no problem with latinx if that's what it's going to be fine

the problem is most latin people don't like it that's a problem we went to a pew poll and you told me three percent of latin people uh about one in four u.S. Hispanics have heard of Latinx. Most of them haven't even heard. Three out of four haven't even heard that this thing is going on. Because you know what? They're too busy fucking working. They're too busy doing commendable things with their time to have heard about Latinx. Because let's be honest, Congresswomen don't do a lot

of hard labor. They sit around, they vote, they stream. They're kind of like comedians and Twitch performers. They show up at these fucking meetings and they sit there and whatever. They don't work that hard.

But just 3% use it. But just 3% use it. That's 3% use it. And I would say that's pretty accurate based on what AOC represents. I think nationwide, I would find her support at probably about 3%. Okay? That's why they've all struggled

to win national elections and things like that. The progressive platform somehow became very popular in urban settings, in cities. So it's kind of overtaken city councils, especially city councils. It's happened in New York here. There's a very progressive city council. It's happened in New York here. There's a very progressive city council. It's happened in a lot of cities where progressives have really taken

over the city councils, and they've been able to institute some of their policies. One of those cities, a traditionally the most commonly known, I mean, the example of progressiveness is San Francisco. San Francisco, known as the most progressive place with the most progressive politics, one of the most liberal cities. I mean, you cannot get more liberal than San Francisco. You got no shot as a conservative in San Francisco. Whereas in New York, which is a very liberal city, we've had a couple of Republican mayors, right? It happens. So that just shows you how left San Francisco is. So San Francisco has now gotten to the point

where they have this French sounding, his name is Chesa Boudin. Chesa Boudin. And he is the district attorney there. And he was narrowly elected, like I said in the opening. And he has instituted a bunch of his policies. And a bunch of his policies are based around the defund the police ethos. They are akin.

They are derivative from. They are derivative from. They are based upon. And so he was part of that 2019 national wave of liberal district attorneys who got swept in under the banner of defund the police, police reform, whatever you want to call it. Okay? He was determined to reform a system in San Francisco. the banner of defund the police, police reform, whatever you want to call it. Okay. He was determined to reform a system in San Francisco.

Now, remember, this is the most progressive fucking place. The district attorney before him was progressive. They're all progressive. And one of his opponents was a person who is against him is black. So I'm just setting the table. The world's always not neat. It's not neat because he claims he was getting in there determined to reform a system that he called racist and ineffectual.

So Boudin, which sounds like Poutine, a former public defender, which means he used to represent, he was paid for by the city to represent criminals. This is one of those things where like Stockholm Syndrome, where like a kidnapper falls in love with his

falls in love with his or her kidnapper, because you could tell he kind of probably fell in love with his clients. You know, he was representing them and he lost the line. He probably banged a few of them. Okay, he fell in love with a few of them because his whole platform now is to help, to help.

He was determined to not charge juveniles as adults and request longer sentences, not due to a defendant's gang affiliation. So if you were part of a gang, we don't want to give you more time. We want to give you less time. We want to understand why. What are the sociological causes of what made you join a gang? What is it?

Let's get in there. Let's get some workers in there. Let's get some empaths, some empathetic people in there to find out what is the situation that created you and let's reform you. It's not working so good. Okay. It's like when dad goes away on business and mom's there watching the house. Okay. Dad goes away on business, and mom's there watching the house, okay? There's a little less fear of the consequences, okay? A little bit.

Because mom just, you know, you guys are smoking weed in the basement. She comes down, and she says, you better stop that. You better stop that. But why are you guys smoking weed? What's going on? I used to smoke weed. And you're going, dad's not here. Shut up. Get out of here. But if she goes, I'm going to tell your father when he gets home, smoking weed what's going on i used to smoke weed and you're going dad's not here shut up get out

of here but if she goes i'm gonna tell your father when he gets home you go okay i'm gonna stop smoking weed because i don't want to get smacked upside my head but pop up that's if you have a dad who's engaged dad comes in as the intimidator he's the force he's the draymond green of your family if you're a basketball fan, that's a good reference. He gets in there. He mucks it up. He intimidates the players. He plays physical.

He's the enforcer of the family. Every hockey team has an enforcer. Every family needs a dad to fucking lay down the law. So this guy's more like Mama. Boudin. You can rhyme it with poutine, which is French for pussy. Yo, check out his origin story.

Boudin was a baby when his parents, left-wing, weather underground radicals, served as drivers in a botched 1981 robbery that left two police officers and a security guard dead. Wow. You've heard of the Weather Underground, right? No. They were like a radical leftist group back in, I think, the 60s or the 70s.

Wait, but I thought radical leftists could never be violent. Yeah, they started bombing up federal buildings and all kinds of stuff. Yeah, they were. Mostly peaceful protests. Mostly peaceful protests, yeah. Right. Wow. So his parents were, oh, it left two police officers and security guard

dead they were sentenced to decades in prison this is like uh the batman origin story but on the side of the criminals he's on the other side this is like the jokers uh family history it's like the jokers story um so he really identifies with the criminals because his parents were criminals. He's just trying to see his parents again. So he spoke of the pain of stepping through metal detectors to hug his parents. Well, your parents fucked up, kid. So you're complaining about the metal detectors

because your parents fucking tried to rob a bank and ended up killing two police officers and a security guard? And vowed to reform a system that tears families apart. Kathy Boudin was released on parole in 2003 and died of cancer. And David Gilbert was granted parole in October. So his pops are still alive. Political experts say he's in the crosshairs of outside forces as a political newcomer who barely won his race in 2019.

Okay. So it's a vote of general discontent this is my favorite this is from jason mcdowell who's an associate professor of political science at san francisco state university you know where they teach you how to get things done policy san francisco university in the political science department where they teach you how to negotiate and get things done. They don't get too bogged down in theory in that fucking city and state, university. He says, San Francisco voters are large. I assume he talks like this.

San Francisco voters are largely very liberal and favorable towards criminal justice reform. And yet, in a time when we've got a lot of people upset about a lot of things, you don't want to become the target of that. Tell me you're saying nothing without saying nothing. What the fuck does that mean? Can anyone actually make sense of what that, I'll repeat that. San Francisco voters are largely liberal. Okay. That was my point. So don't forget that premise. And favorable towards criminal justice reform.

And yet in a time when we've got a lot of people upset about a lot of things, you don't want to become the target of that. What does that mean? He put a lot twice in a sentence. Could you be any more fucking general and vague than that fucking sentence? And what does that serve this article? What the fuck is he talking about? If you're a professor, you better throw a myriad in that or some shit. He's basically going like, hey, you don't want

to become the target of people who are upset. Okay? That's all I'll say about that. I have tenure to give takes like that. That's the problem with these places. Everyone's scared to say something or have a take because they don't want the

ire of either the far left or the far right which have basically hijacked as the crazy person on the train and the train in the analogy being society has hijacked society. So he's scared to say something.

He's scared to say and plus he can't probably say it. He's either scared to say it because he's scared of the backlash or he doesn't want to say it because that fucks up his whole position which is probably in his class. Like,

guys, reform, be nice. Think about the criminals. So he doesn't want to fuck up his own grift or he's scared of the reaction from the grifters. It's one of the fucking two.

There is your truth. It's your fucking long day. Put it down your fucking throat and swallow it. Eat it like your goddamn asparagus. You fucking baby, it's good for you. I know you want another muffin, but I don't want you to lose your feet. I don't want to give you diabetes, so I put a nice fucking coat of sugar over it. I fake it, you fucking asparagus. People don't like it when I get too crazy. Some people do. You can't please everybody. At that moment, it was organic because I felt strongly about that

because that's what's happening here. It's one of the two and it's transparent and obvious that that's what he's doing because really, the truth is, hey, this guy's a little too progressive and it's not working. This guy wants to identify with the criminals and he doesn't want to put anyone behind bars.

And if you shoot somebody, they go, you know what? We got to find out if you were sad beforehand and what your parents did. Which is like, you know, there's always something there. How about you reform him while he's in prison? How about a compromise? He goes behind jail because he committed a crime. So you're putting the message out to society that there are consequences for breaking the law.

And then when he's in prison, you have some fucking therapist sit down and go, did your daddy not say hi to you? Whatever it is. How about that? I'm sure your father would agree. Young man. He said, Jared, don't commit crime.

You're not out there committing crime. No, I'm not. I'm not out there committing crime. You got to fear your father a little bit. You have to respect and fear your father a little bit. Some people have tough mothers that they fear and that's great. And that's great. H little bit. Okay, you know, some people have tough mothers that they fear and that's great. And that's great.

Hats off. Okay? But generally, generally, the norm is your dad kind of is the one that comes and lays down the law and your dad is the one

that doesn't care about the excuses. Your mom will always hear the excuses. Go watch my special Mom Love on YouTube. That's generally what the theme is of the special. And at the end, it comes together. It's kind of, there's a truth to that. There's a truth to that. If you have a coach who's constantly hearing your excuses, like, coach, I'm tired. I don't want to play today. Why are you tired? Let's talk about it. Well, my parents weren't home,

and I did this and did that. The team's not going to win. You need a guy that, you need a guy who's fucking goes, fuck you, you sit down then. Here's another guy who will. And he houses. Boudin's in trouble. So they're trying to have a referendum on him right now to get him out because the mostly,

when I say mostly, let's be honest, entirely liberal body politic of San Francisco, at least some portion of them is kind of sick of the crime. We've all seen the videos of people walking into Target, taking whatever they want, the fucking auto crime, the house burglaries, those things are up. Supposedly, to be fair, crime generally seems to be the same as it was under his predecessor,

which is probably both too high. But there's an increase in burglaries, carjackings, and robberies, apparently. So probably violent crime is about the same. Whatever other statistics make it about the same is about the same. But people are a little fed up. And yes, his name sounds French,

so you don't want to put him in any position to defend the law. It's not going to happen. You steamroll the French like Rafael Nadal. When are they going to change his name to fucking the German Blitzkrieg? Because there's nobody that fucking storms the French open more than Nadal.

Fucking won his 14th on one foot. I mean, that kid is the German army. He walks into the French and he takes it. He's only lost three times, four times, three or four times. Nadal, congratulations, my favorite tennis player, on another French Open, 14. You may not be a sports fan, or if you are, you think this is gay and that's your business.

I'm a tennis fan, okay? I love the sport and this is one of those records that, you know, may never be broken. This is like a Cal Ripken Jr. consecutive game record. Fucking Eli Manning

would have had one of those if it wasn't for that dumb coach. Oh, yeah. McAdoo. McAd those if it wasn't for that dumb coach. Oh, yeah. McAdoo. McAdoo ruined it for no reason. Asshole. This is one of those records.

John Stockton's assists. You may never see that. I mean, in our lifetime, we probably won't see it. There's some records where you're going like, damn. Nobody. I mean, 14. Dude, he's played in 17. He's won 14 out of 17.

It's insane. It's absolutely, the dominance is insane. How old is he now? He's 36 now. Wow. Yeah. But anyway,

that's neither here nor there. That's San Francisco. That's what's going on now. So, it's tough to say that it's going to work. It doesn't seem to be working. Now, of course,

the defenders of Boutin say that he's the target of corporate entry. He's the target. He's the target. They got a lot of rationalizations defending him, but the data is what the data is, man. The data is what the data is. So we'll see. We'll see if this mom love solution

to policing and local politics works. Because right now it's not looking good. It's not looking good in Minneapolis. It's not looking good in San Francisco. And it's not looking good in New York under the previous mayor, Wilhelm fucking Comey, whatever his name was. fucking commie, whatever his name was. de Blasio, who changed his name like a sociopath does in order to identify with a Jewish

and Italian base. Hey guys, my name's de Blasio. I'm not a German fucking commie whose parents were also commies. He's very much like Boudin. Remember his parents were like fucking commies? You can't judge a book by its cover, but you can judge a conversation by its haircut, and you can also judge a book by its cover, but you can judge a conversation by its haircut,

and you can also judge a person's politics by what their parents' politics were, that's why when people tell me what they are, I'm not that impressed, because usually they're just what their parents are, religion wise and politics wise, it's very rare that it says, you're just like what your fucking parents are,

or you go the complete opposite, that's rarer, but those are people who move to cities, and then of course it's very rare that it says you're just like what your fucking parents are or you go the complete opposite. That's rarer. But those are people who move to cities and then and then, of course, it's very predictable based on city and country for very predictable reasons. You know, nobody wants to see the common ground and understand the other person's point of view, dog. OK, if you live in the country, you become more conservative just by virtue of the fact that there's not that many people around.

So when you see people in your neighborhood, you're like, get them out of my fucking neighborhood. But if you're in the city, you're like, we need more social programs. We need more equity. We need more fucking, you know, all this regulation because we got to manage this shit. You need more of a government to manage it. You need less government in the country because there's less shit to govern and control and you need more in the city and so it's not a coincidence that it ends up those two places end up always voting those two ways so can the people who live in those two places have a little awareness about the justification of the other one based on their situation nobody wants to put themselves in the shoes of other and that's your long day.

Back to the comedy. Sorry, I can't hold your attention with a good point for a second. But we are a comedy podcast. Okay? You could turn on any other podcast. I'm sure they're talking about this on The Fighter and The Kid.

You just went off like an Asperger Bill Maher. So that's the situation with Boudin. Listen, if you want to get some free stuff from Target, that's a good, I mean, that should be in the Tourism Bureau of San Francisco right now. Forget your wallet? Come to San Francisco. Walk in. Take what you want. Get yourself some extra Chris Stapleton CDs. Yeah. That city does not care about its old people, man. I mean, every time I go to that city,

it's so hilly. I just expect to see a pile of dead old people at the bottom of every hill. That is not conducive to be a senior citizen in San Francisco. And that's probably the geography, the topography is probably part of the reason why it's so progressive. Because young people tend to be more progressive. And that is not a city for old people. Old people like Florida where the weather's good. That's why that state goes red all the time. This is older people. The older people get, the more conservative they get.

It's just how it is. They want less of a hassle. They want less, how do these young Wickham snappers get them out of here? And then the more progressive places tend to be young. And I think topography has a lot to do with it. It's very hilly and that's very, it's non-friendly to old people. Just by walking in San Francisco, you got to do parkour. Yeah. So if you want to keep pro-choice in your place,

build some more hills. Make it, you know, make it so old people aren't so comfortable. Throw a couple, you know, you want to get the Christians out of there, throw a couple mosques up. They'll get out. And then your state will be pro-choice. Nothing scares away fucking fundamentalists more than a mosque.

You throw that thing up, they fucking lose their mind. You know, most Muslims, you know, the media fed us that shit for so long. Most Muslims are just like Fucking Doing their thing They're just like Muslim dudes Walking around They're fucking going to church

They're doing normal shit Like 99.9% of Muslims Are just like Believing the shit That they learned And they walk around And they fucking hit the floor They hit the rug

You know That's it Most of them Do enough You know If you don't go over to their fucking countries and take their oil, they're just doing their thing,

whatever their thing is, you know? Okay, a couple of women got to fucking walk around in bath sheets. Big fucking deal. It's not my problem. It's their culture, right? Why do we care so much? Is it disrespectful to call them bath sheets? sheets i mean is it the same material as

sheets what exactly is bath sheets it's cotton made of cotton and bath sheets you sleep on and what are those called burkas or what are they called no it's not a burka burkas of the head son let me ask you this again what is a sheet? A bath sheet is something you put... Oh, no. Yeah. Come on, man. I thought you were saying it because I was saying something offensive, but really I was just saying something wrong.

I can't even get in trouble for that because people go like, what's a bath sheet? Come on, man. There is no such thing as a bath sheet. Come on, man. Bath sheet. Anyway, yeah, it's like, you know, big people get upset about all these things a big deal and probably a lot of the reason why they wear that stuff is because of the desert and the sand

right you know like it has some cooling it has some cooling uh things to it yeah if they did they designed it wrong because their eyes are wide open yeah but there is some truth that there's something about the way they dress that has a cooling um effect and that's a fact yeah it cools off the boners of the men around them that's like that's like that's like tropical shirts in miami in some way you know i mean the weather dictates i mean we live in a cold place we wear black and we get shit accomplished yeah but all these floods in miami all you need is a scuba suit now now you need a scuba suit now. Now you need a scuba suit. Now it's going full circle. Yeah. Yeah, that would be funny.

That would actually be funny if the fashion in Miami just starts to become aquatic. As global warming starts to take hold, like, you know, global warming, Miami's going underwater and people just start

fucking wearing scuba suits. Yeah, the number one designer in Miami is Jacques Cousteau. Yeah. Why, Jacques Cousteau is a... Is a diver. He was a diver? I think. Yeah, the number one designer in Miami is Jacques Cousteau. Yeah. Why, Jacques Cousteau is a... Is a diver. He was a diver? I think.

Yeah, he was like some ocean explorer. Jared's a smart 24-year-old kid. I only know that reference because of Bad Boys 2. There's a scene in there where they reference diving and Jacques Cousteau in there.

Yeah, because Jacques Cousteau is like a common reference that I know the name of, but I had no idea he was a diver. Yeah, shout out Will Smith and Martin Lawrence. Yeah, for taking you to school. Yeah.

You learn something from bad boys. A lot of people say you watch that movie, there's nothing to learn. You get dumber. There you go. But there you have it. So let's talk about this real quick, the four-day work week. The UK is trying to do a four-day work week, and I always thought that that was a good idea i think the french do it already um obviously the five-day work week was an improvement from the seven-day work week and

all based around the industrial revolution and factory workers i think now it would be good for the economy to have a four-day work week right so people have more uh free time um so they spend more money so it's good for the economy because they have more time to go out and buy shit, buy ice cream, whatever it is. It creates more jobs because for those 24-hour positions, like nurses, RNs, whatever,

you got to hire more people, right? Because now it's four days. So you got to, somebody else has to pick it up. People go, oh, but people are going to have less money. But no, they'll have less money because they'll be working less, but also the prices of things will come down to meet their need. So it works. Why do we still have a five-day workweek? It's antiquated. It's like calling someone Latin Latin. The four-day workweek is the Latinx of what the workweek should be. I say go to a four-day workweek. I think that's great.

I also think bars and places of leisure might lose money because I go to a four-day work week. I think that's great. I also think bars and places of leisure might lose money because I feel like the five-day work week, Saturday, Sunday, or Friday, the weekend is so hyped up, so a lot of money goes to that, especially with alcohol. But you don't think people would go out more if they had more free time? I think they would just stay home and enjoy their family because when you're working so much, you just want to release, and you don't always get that around your family. You would know that as a married man. Yes. I think studies actually show that it benefits. I think it shows shorter hours,

less work days actually is good for work efficiency. How's it going in France? Because I know they did it in France. France has a 4D work week. And I wonder how it's going. Yeah. I think leisure improved. The economy improved. But unfortunately, hygiene did not.

That's part of the culture. Franks ponders the idea of a 32-hour work week. They did it, though. This is 2020. Oh, they haven't done it? France famously... oh, yeah. France famously legally mandated a 35-hour work week and enshrined it in law since 2000.

Under the current economic and epidemiological crisis. Okay, they're talking. The country, slow down because this light is blocking me. Are we thinking the work week? And think it can be brought down to 32. So they've gone to 35. So they're almost at a four-day work week. Three more hours would make it a four-day work week.

As in other countries, the four-day work week is not new to France and has arisen in political conversations about work, unemployment, increased automation, quality of life. Yeah, then you got automation, things like this. I think it makes sense to go to a four-day work week. We're not working in factories anymore. You know what I mean? Let people enjoy their lives a little bit. Let them spend. Let them spread it around a little bit. It'd be better for families. You can spend more time with your family, and that increases family values, which is important. We can't just continue to have

these single 21 to 24 year old people dictate what the culture of the country is, which is what's happened. Because they're the ones with the time out there fucking marching and yelling and shit like that. You know, people with the families are the backbone of a country. And those people need to fucking say, give them a couple of hours off so they can watch the news and think about what they want. You know, the only one's working. The reason why these kids are so politically charged is because they have time on their hands

to fucking do it. Because their parents who are working are fucking providing them that leisure. And so is the technocracy that allows people to sit on their phones and make advertising dollars. Thank you very much. That's what I'm doing.

Is there any data on how it's worked? And while you look for that, I'll just quickly say, because I wanted to get to it, Representative Bayer from Vermont, Democrat, get to it um representative bayer from vermont democrat has proposed a thousand dollar or a thousand percent tax on assault style weapons what do you guys think about that thousand percent tax on assault style weapons that's nice but i mean you're acting like there's not rich racists in this country. Right.

Or rich angry people or rich disgruntled people. But there's less. Let's be honest. But when rich people are racist, they're not going to, no,

they're not going to have that in violence. It's going to be in taxes. When, yeah, when rich people are upset, they don't do any

violent crime because let's be honest, when you're rich, you don't get that upset. Yeah, when you're rich, you tear down a YMCA, you build a Starbucks. Yeah, you just, you're not, things are not that bad. You don't want to threaten your rich status. I've had money, and I've had less money, and I've had more money, and I've had less money, and let me tell you, I was a lot angrier when I've had less money. Nobody goes and blows something up

with millions of dollars in the bank. It hasn't happened. It'll never happen. It'll never happen. You'll never see some rich billionaire walk in and blow anything up because life is too good. I mean, the guy's got fancy soaps. When you have fancy soaps, you don't go blow shit up. All these people who are blowing shit up are disenfranchised, poor morons who are angry about some shit that they've been radicalized on the net. And what the net is saying to them is the reason why you're poor is because of this other group of people. And if you go take care of this other group of people, you'll start a revolution that will free your people and they won't be poor anymore or whatever it is.

That's essentially what it is. And if it's not that, it's some guy who's poor and that's the reason why he's not getting money. Because let's be honest, have you seen some of these fucking rich, ugly people and the pussy they have on their arm? So that's the solution. Those trench coat mafia kids, if they had a couple million dollars,

would be, would be going, we're going to private school and I'm going to have my girlfriend who's impressed with my Audi. So nobody fucking with an Audi or, well then, you know,

I just got, actually there's always an exception to the rule because that kid in California, his parents were rich, and he fucking went around and shot everybody up too because he couldn't get any pussy. So there's no exception without the rule. But generally, it's true. Do you remember that kid in California? His dad was like a producer, and he went out and just killed a bunch of people, and he was driving a BMW. So whoopsie. But there's no rule without an exception.

That's an ancient Greek proverb. So I would say he's more the exception. See, again, you can't make it a utopia. You can just mitigate. As we said on the Tim Dillon podcast when I was a guest, go watch that episode where we talked about guns the most,

the whole episode. So he throws a wrench in that because he is a kid that was rich. And he killed a lot of people too. He went around, drove around, shot everybody up. You remember? He was a college kid.

I don't remember that, no. Yeah, he was upset at girls. He was upset about girls dating all these brutes. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you gotta look better. No one that commits a mass shooting

has a bald fate. Yeah, I mean, and the kid wasn't even that ugly. He was just a psychopath. So it's like you can't, that ugly. He was just a psychopath. So it's like you can't, you can't guard against all this shit. He's like,

women won't give me the time of day. I'm like, yeah, because you're a creep, dude. You're a fucking creep. Somebody's got to take that kid and make him like a fighter jet pilot.

That's where you got to, you got to redirect these psychopaths into places of employment that psychopaths like. Hopefully not cops. Throw that motherfucker into the of employment that psychopaths like. Hopefully not cops. Throw that motherfucker into the cast of Top Gun. Yeah, hopefully not cops because that field attracts them too sometimes.

Put them in, you know, because they have no fear, psychopaths. They don't feel fear. So you got to put them in like, you know, make them like jet pilots or something that, you know, a lot of that attracts that personality. Because psychopaths are not necessarily evil. Sociopaths are. Psychopaths are born that way. They just have no feelings. You got to put them into something

like acting or fighter jet pilots. Or sanitation worker. Or sanitation worker. Yeah. Why sanitation worker? Because they won't have any fear of those rats. Exactly. That's a good point.

A fucking psychopath sees a rat, he just looks at it curious. You ever see a psychopath like watch a gory film? They just look at things curiously. Everything's a mask. When you laugh, they laugh. Fucking dead eyes.

Literally Jimmy Fallon. Literally. Annihouser. And then, yeah, you found it, and then we'll end on that. And then, um, yeah, you found it, but, and then we'll end on that. But, and then we have, uh, Kamala Harris, Kamala Harris. First of all, uh, the country is making, uh, America's help is allowing Venezuela to deal

some oil to certain European countries, uh, to make up for the crisis in Ukraine and that oil supply. So again, a common theme on Long Day's, war makes for strange bedfellows. It's going to be papooses in Germany. Yeah, because we're not friends with Venezuela, but war makes for strange bedfellows. I think that was Shakespeare. Anyway, so Harris is announcing nearly $2 billion in private investment

to help stem immigration. She's working with companies to try to develop some of the countries that these migrants come from. This is a good plan. Okay? See, some people just hate certain people, and they don't go into the planet. Like, people just go, I hate Kamala Harris.

But hey, that's the only thing you can do, right? The reason why people come here is because they're fucking places like shit. It's like when you have a rich friend, and he's got a nice apartment, and your apartment's shit. You guys don't hang out at your apartment. You ever have a rich friend? Your rich friend never goes, hey, can I come over? That never happens. Nobody goes, hey, can I come over to your place? Right, Jess? I mean, you got a couple of Dr. Richer friends. Do you ever host

them at your place? Nobody's coming to my house. Exactly. It's the same shit. You're like, hey, dude, why don't you ever leave? You're like, yo, dude, I don't have ice cubes that are in a spear in my house. Yeah. So rich people people if you want us to stop coming over your house for parties then you got to give us some of your money and make our house better that's basically it throw some money for a bidet it's funny though when you have a rich friend it's like i you just notice that you're like hey man we always hang out at your place and he's like yeah of course i'm not going to your shithole. We have the option of my place and your place, and your place is a shithole.

My place is America. Your place is Honduras. I ain't going to Honduras. You're coming to America. So what's she doing specifically here? I think she's working with private industry to bring a total pledge to about $3.2 billion. She's soliciting businesses. This is a great plan.

See, the problem with this stuff is it's all in the execution. It looks good on paper. But the plan is good. The execution, it all comes out of the execution. Yeah, it's worth a shot. Increased challenge, Cummins administration has faced increased challenges dealing with governments of El Salvador

Honduras and Golan yeah because the governments don't stem the flow so necessities the mother invention this should be the plan from the get go but you know

people are too greedy to do that so or too late you know everything always comes late it always takes a tragedy for change unfortunately

because people are set in their ways nobody likes the new thing that's why everyone's scared to die because it's unknown people are set in their ways. Nobody likes the new thing. That's why everyone's scared to die because it's unknown. People are more scared of the unknown, even if they're living in squalor, they'll prefer it. That's what Stockholm syndrome is all about. So it's taken this, it's taken this unbelievable crisis we have at the border and, you know, finally going like, hey, dude, maybe the solution is to make their place a little better so they

don't keep coming here. Of course. Why not? We have dominance over the hemisphere. Why aren't all the factories in Honduras and all these places, why are we giving it to China in the other hemisphere? Why don't we make all these countries that try to sneak into Mexico in order to sneak into America through Mexico? It's a domino effect. They sneak into Mexico. They come from El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras. They get into Mexico.

They sneak in there. And then from Mexico, they try to sneak in there. And also Mexicans try to sneak in too. But a lot of the migrants are actually from other countries because parts of Mexico are pretty good. Better off than Honduras. I'll tell you that right now. I mean, I haven't been to Honduras recently,

but there's a reason for that. It's a country makeover. Yeah. So she also plans a women empowerment aimed at connecting 1.4 million women to the financial system and digital economy and to train 500,000 women in job skills. She'll announce a $50 million Central American service course founded.

Harris' role in addressing the root cause of migration from Central America has been challenging. Yeah, it's challenging. I get it. But hey, I think we're going in the right direction. Yeah, that's good. That's good that she's training women because most women are just trained to be kidnapped.

Yeah. I think that it's an investment that's worth it for a long term. I could see a lot of short term resistance to this because it's like money. You're going, you're sending my money to fucking Southern. But, you know, it could have some good long term consequences. And she's visited the countries too, so that's good. Yeah. Hey, make my house better and maybe I won't come to your house so much.

You know, I won't break into your house, I should say. I'm sorry about all my rich friends when I came through the window. Your stuff's just too nice. This is Long Days. I will speak to you next time. Freaking cold spring water is the official water of the Long Days podcast.

So happy to be working with my Greek brother, John Mikas. He's created this company, and it's just water in an aluminum bottle. The water is delicious. It stays freaking cold. That's why it's called freaking cold springwater. No G, freaking, freaking cold. Springwater, all one word,.com, freaking cold springwater all one word dot com freaking cold spring water go there um have them sell send a bunch of cases to your house stop getting those poland spring bottled waters and

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and you know that the sweeteners are natural and partly good for you? You know? Okay, all sugar's a little bad, but you need some sugar. A little bit. Yeah, and it's also prebiotic, I guess, because of the monk fruit. These hipsters have figured it out. They're a husband and wife, right? And, you know hipsters have figured it out. They're a husband and wife, right? They just figured it out.

They're about to get married, too. They're about to get married. They're about to have you on a show. Yeah. You and Talent. Yeah. They're out there in Brooklyn. Support these guys.

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for two or three and impress your friends when you have some people over and just crack one open when you're watching TV and watching my special mom love. Nicola Ragusa, 646-543-9474. If you need LASIK in the New York area, head over to Astoria.

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help to sell tickets uh and just to get more numbers on your gram or whatever you are you need one of these guys now. You need a guy. I have a guy. I'm going to try Nate Linder. But every comedian who's watching this, and who knows, what is there, 500,000 comedians now? So if you're watching this, try out Nate Linder. Nate, give him a good rate.

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It's one of the essentials. Yeah, you just need a guy like that to help you get your social media game to the next level. And you always need a guy to cash a check if you have a check that you got illegally. Chris Minetti down there in South Jersey. I love Chris. I love that he's supporting the show. I hope we're supporting him. 215-750-3730.

Go get your check cashed at Chris Minetti Financial Services or the storefront that Chris Minetti gives you cash for a piece of paper with a fucking signature on it. Chris Minetti's the man for a piece of paper with a fucking signature on it. Chris Minetti's the man. Go check him out. Then we got ForTheFree.us, which is still up. Somebody tried to fucking, some rival of ForTheFree tried to tell me they were not there. I told you it was the Japanese.

Yeah. ForTheFree.us is an organization dedicated to providing artists from Hawaii a place to develop their craft. They host free shows, post free music by local artists. Go check out ForTheFree.us and find out about cool bands in Hawaii. Then, of course, we got our new guy, 305 PLP Media Services. Comedians can use these guys too. And they do weddings. I'm sorry.

Okay. Professional videography, production, post-production, creative services. You need this guy. You need this guy. You need this guy. Everyone does. Every company does. They're in South Florida, down there in the 305. Corporate educational videos, whatever you want.

Swingers, they want to do porno, you can do a porno. Just hire them if you need somebody to make a video, edit a video, post a video, all that shit. You can text them. Somebody, some fan actually did text them, you up. So they got that text, and they screenshotted it and sent it to me. It's hilarious. So they texted, you could text or call 786-548-CASH with the S as a money sign. That's 786-548-2274.

And a fan actually did text them at 3 in the morning, are you up? 82274 and a fan actually did text them at three in the morning are you up so info at 305plp.com is where you can email them and um apparently they don't have a website do they have a website vimeo go to vimeo oh go to their vimeo vimeo.com slash 305plp um check out their portfolio there and also guys i think it's time you get a website. You need a website. But I love those guys and appreciate their support. And then, of course, my man Jared from San Antonio, longtime supporter, ExclusiveAutoShipping.com. No-brainer if you're moving your car anywhere.

Just go to ExclusiveAutoShipping.com and get your free quote, and they'll move your wheels anywhere in the world. They got five-star ratings, and they've been in the world. They got five star ratings and they've been in the business for four years for a reason. Okay? Their reviews are fucking stellar. Exclusiveautoshipping.com. That's a no brainer.

It's been a long day.