Yannis Pappas Hour - The VP Rambo & Meth with a Side of Celery

Episode Date: August 15, 2024

Elon Musk & Trump have a chat proving that narcissists & Autistic kids can and will be friends. Drug cartels have found the perfect place to hide meth and more. Support our Sponsors: Cayman Cigars Head to https://www.caymancigars.com/yannis  to check out the sampler while supplies last and use code YANNIS for 10% off your order.

What's up everybody? Right off the bat I want to just tell you, please support our show. Go to patreon.com slash Yanis Papasauer for our weekly bonus episodes. They're more of a timeless casual hang. They're fun. Ask people who are members of the Fetiverse how they enjoy them. And that's how you know. Everything goes on reviews nowadays. Ask people who are members. Hey, is it worth a dollar and a quarter a week? Is it worth five quarters a week? That's what it is to listen to these weekly bonus episodes that are some of our best work. Our last episode was called, what was it called again?

Comedy That Can Get You Killed. So check that out because I do do comedy on that episode that could get you killed. Here's my shows coming I do do comedy on that episode that could get you killed. Here's my shows coming up if you want to see me do stand-up comedy. I'll be in St. Louis, September 5th through the 7th. Dania Beach, Florida, September 13th through the 15th. Tacoma, Washington, September 19th through the 21st. I will be in Las Vegas at Skankfest, Septemberth through the 29th, West Niyak, New York

October 11th through the 13th, Brea, California October 25th through the 27th, and Milwaukee December 5th and through 7th, Austin December 20th through the 22nd, and Rochester January 16th through the 18th, all tickets at Yanis PapasComedy.com. I am Yanis Papas. I am the globe's most noted and trusted fake news anchor who currently resides in the United States, but that could change as soon as my tax bracket goes up. I am moving to Monaco and it's not a tax bracket, it's a tack bracket. I said tax wrong. Welcome to the Yanis Papas Hour everybody,

where we give you the most urgent news immediately so you can feel better tomorrow and forget about yesterday and live in the moment and practice mindfulness. Elon Musk's interview on X happened finally. He's extended an offer to Kamala Harris to do the same. It was great, it was fun, I listened to about 15 seconds in clips. But supposedly it got 300 billion listens. I don't know if you've heard the latest from the inside metrics at X, but it was the most listened to speech. It makes Michael Jackson's tour numbers look like nada.

It makes the Sopranos finale look like nada. 14 quadrillion people tuned in for that, however long it was, on X to listen when autism meets narcissism. Kamala's up in the swing states. Wow. Looks like she's the betting favorite. That doesn't mean nothing though. That don't mean nothing though. That don't mean nothing, Larry. That don't mean nothing, Larry.

Trump could win this, according to Kellyanne Conway, as long as he stops the attacks. She, Kellyanne Conway, former comedian and former Trump advisor, has released a statement saying, she thinks Trump can win, when as long as he backs off the attacks. To which me and Jesse said, that's like telling Steph to try to run an offense without the three option. Hey, let's try to get this win without you shooting any threes. It's his brand, baby. That's his brand.

That's like telling the Yanis Papasour to wear a suit. That's not me, man. I am more of a fucking outcast in Japanese t-shirt wearing kind of guy, kind of adult. That's the kind of adult I am, which is strange because this is the same outfit I would have worn in middle school. But don't worry people, inflation seems to be cooling because everyone's getting a little bit more responsible on what they are spending things on and that's when fools rush in. McDonald's is back with an adult happy meal to give you something

to spend your money on. It comes with a sausage, egg and cheese I believe, hash browns and a collector's item. Things that adults are into. Something for the shelf. A nice little tchotchke from McDonald's. A little token of appreciation for the exchange that happens between citizen and corporation. That exchange being your money in return for a quick fix of hunger, assuaging, diabetes-inducing, food that doesn't work. Let's just be honest, it's food that doesn't work. It's food that you eat that makes you feel like

you're gonna die or you feel hungrier just like an hour later for more Big Macs. It's food that's killing you, but it's a happy meal. It's a happy meal for adults and I'm not, it's not working. Nobody gets happy. Nobody gets happy. The only people you can make happy with McDonald's are road weary travelers who have zero fucking options. When you're on the road in America, you have zero options. You just see golden arches and you see an occasional Burger King and that's it.

You don't have, you can't just go, you know what? I want a nice local Italian meal where they make the pasta in- house off of I-96. It's not going to happen. This is America. You're eating food off a frozen truck, whether you like it or not. I hate to report this news, but it seems like cancer is going to be up 93% in males by the year 2050. So no comedy there except what's causing it and we figured it out. It's the booster.

The Justice Department is considering breaking up Google. We're going to talk about it. Bing, we have some ideas on things you can do to market the name Bing more. Maybe bam, maybe zap. That could work. Are you, did you zap it? Hey, hey, come over to Bing where you can Google on Bing. You want to Google something on Bing? Google it on Bing. It's really hard when it's ingrained. It's like a U-Haul. Let's get a U-Haul. It's like, hey, let's just get a, let's get a truck. It's like, hey, let's just get a truck. It's tough. A band-aid. These things just, can I have a Coke? They just win. People don't even know that a band-aid is a company.

They just think it's called a band-aid, but it's really an adhesive something. But they came up with a snappy term. Google is great. Janus Papus Hour is zingy. It's a lot better than Long Days. Yannis Papasour, it's the band-aid of podcasts, baby. Put it on your brain. Put the band-aid, put the band-aid,

the Yannis Papasour where we band-aid your brain. I don't know, the FDA declines Mali for veterans who have PTSD. I think this is a terrible idea. Maybe nothing works for people who are traumatized from war, so why not just let them listen to German techno and lick each other's faces every day until their livers give out? This is the Honest Papas Hour, where solutions meet problems and nothing gets solved. Before we begin this podcast is sponsored again by Cayman Cigar Company.

I love these cigars. They make premium cigars using the highest quality Caribbean tobacco and the cigars are hand rolled by Master Cigar using the highest quality Caribbean tobacco and the cigars are hand rolled by master cigar rollers so enjoy and give back to those in need head to caimancigars.com slash yanis to check out our sampler while supplies last that's use the code yanis for 10 off your order once again that's caimancigarswithaness.com backslash Yanis for 10% off. Make sure you use my promo code Yanis so they know I sent you.

I'd like to start this episode today by taking you to a journey down if you're in the Northeast or the North or North America or Europe, because this podcast from what I understand is huge in Luxembourg. There's got to be a podcast that's big in Luxembourg. The country of Luxembourg, it's so interesting because nobody even knows it's there. It's hiding in plain sight. I think

Luxembourg is just like 14 like incredibly rich Swedish families. And I don't know what they do. They're not involved in wars. They never get attacked. They're completely promoted. There's a couple of those countries that are just protected by all the rich people of all the other countries.

They like to keep these little countries for themselves. And they just, they're hidden in plain sight. They're never in the news. Nobody knows anything about Luxembourg. They're all either German or French. It's one of those, it's like Switzerland. It's another one nobody ever thinks about. Roger Federer, you're like,

it's the only thing you know about Switzerland is chocolate and Roger Federer and that's it. But what they're really doing is just holding El Chapo's money. That's what they do. They got every criminal's money, Putin's money. Where do you think that's at? It's all just in Switzerland and everyone protects these countries because if one thing

countries can agree on, it's the selfishness of the evil people that live there. Right? They just, that's something evil people will always have in common. It's just like, hey. I won't tell if you won't tell this benefits everybody. Let's go back to playing our sides. I'm yelling at you. I'm yelling at you. Our country is going to go war.

But we have these ripcord parachutes where we can just go to Switzerland, get our money and disappear in the Argentinian inflation free great country of Argentina that's being made great again by the Argentinian Donald Trump where inflation inflation is still supposedly 270% or something and unemployment is a problem. But those are what you call growing pains, right? Maybe it's going to turn around. It couldn't get worse from where it was, so who knows? We'll see where fucking Cy Burns gets done over there

after he finishes playing with the monkeys. But that's why I like Luxembourg. What is Luxembourg? Do you know anything about Luxembourg? Did you even know Luxembourg? This is the first time you're hearing about Luxembourg as a country. It's this little thing carved out of greed.

They just carve it. They just go, hey, let's keep a little something for the greedy rich right here. It's called Luxembourg and it's like somewhere in Europe. It's like the Bermuda Triangle in Europe. It's there, but like nobody knows you're in Luxembourg. Nobody goes to Luxembourg and it's like where is it? It's like by Switzerland. It's between Belgium, France, Switzerland and Germany. It's just a little carved out thing that has no beef. It's just totally... how do you get to live in Luxembourg? Can EU, people with EU passports live in Luxembourg? Can you be like can you get your papers in England? which I hear is pretty easy to do and be from like North Africa and just go to Luxembourg. Is there anyone who's not French or German that lives in Luxembourg? We don't know we're gonna get to the bottom of Luxembourg for you

I didn't intend on talking to Luxembourg, about Luxembourg, but it just came to my mind. I don't remember the last time I was curious about it, but I was very, at some point I was like, I heard about Luxembourg and I went, what is Luxembourg? Here's something, are you a non-EU citizen wishing to work as a highly skilled employee in Luxembourg? You can find information below on the conditions to fulfill and this is just lies that they throw out there. I Mean because people don't even know Except I think they throw this out for people like me who are going like how the fuck do I get into Luxembourg? I want to live in Luxembourg is the crime in Luxembourg negative for probably it's maybe negative for

Do people eat dinner on the floor there? Maybe. What's the Muslim population in Luxembourg? What is the non-white population of Luxembourg of this winter winter land? Oh, what's a highly qualified worker? How many asylum seekers are there in Luxembourg? There's just a few things that people, they just carved it out and they said we're not going to have any of that here.

What's a highly skilled, what does it mean to be a highly qualified person in Luxembourg? All right. All the things I want you to Google, you're not Googling. skilled, what does it mean to be a highly qualified person in Luxembourg? All right, all the things I want you to Google, you're not Googling. Well, it says right here, workers with advanced technical academic or interpersonal skills. All right, but I want you to get straight to the chase. How many non-whites live in Luxembourg? Have Chappie Chi ready to go. As I move on to the next thing. I don't think Google will answer that. Yeah I mean we're stuck on Luxembourg, but I'm really curious to know How diverse Luxembourg is

What's their what's their diversity and inclusion program going on in Luxembourg? I'm just glad that I've brought awareness To this secret country. Oh, it. Over 40% of the population is foreign. But what does that mean? That means that they're from what? Does that mean they're from Egypt? Does it mean that they are from Pakistan? Albeit small, it boasts incredible diversity.

In fact, almost 47% of the population doesn't have Luxembourgish nationality, which makes – see, they're lying here. You see they're lying. It boasts an incredible diversity of German and French and British people. What's the racial breakdown? Luxembourg, 52% Portuguese. 14.

Oh, no. 52% Luxembourger. All right. 52% Portuguese. 14. Oh, no, 52% Luxemburger. All right, so the majority are Luxemburger. Have you ever even heard of a Luxemburger? Have you met a Luxemburger person? Sounds delicious. Dude, I'm telling you, this is a secret.

This is like the secret order when you go to In-N-Out Burger. It's not on the menu. Luxemburg is not, is it even on the globe? Is it on maps? Luxembourg's 52%, closer to 53%, Luxembourg, Portuguese 14%, French seven, Italian three, Belgian three, German two, Spanish 1.3. They got a 1% Romanian and 14% other white.

Anyway, we're getting sidetracked on Luxembourg. We may do a deep dive on Luxembourg on our bonus episode, patreon.com slash Yanis Papasour, where you get a more casual, timeless hang with me and Mr. Scatturo for just a merely $5, which is very inflation friendly for probably what I would consider the best patreon of any podcast And I say that without any hesitation

Okay, if it was up to me and I was president of podcasts all the other podcast patreons wouldn't have never happened I would have said to them no way and they would have said way and I would have said no way Just like Donald Trump said his talking to with Putin when Putin said he was going to invade Ukraine. Putin said no way. He said don't do it. It's going to be bad. Let's take a listen. The thing about Trump is he talks in plain speak. And again, I said to Vladimir Putin, I said, don't do it. You can't do it, Vladimir.

You do it. It's going to be a bad day. You cannot do it. And I told him things that what I do. And he said, no way. So I had a good relationship with Putin despite the Russia, Russia, Russia hoax that lasted for over two years and just a hoax created by Hillary Clinton and Adam Shifty Schiff, some just bad people, you know, just sick people, frankly. I mean, Schiff,

Schiff is a sick person. He's going to end up probably being a senator. It's hard to believe the whole thing is hard to believe. But you know, he does kind of sound like a Jewish grandmother at a Marjan, like just ripping everyone at a Marjan table. Doesn't he a little bit? A little bit, yeah. Like this guy, no good.

This family, like a Long Island Jewish Marjan table. He's like, this guy's no good. And this guy. Well, he is a New Yorker in his 70s. Yeah, I mean there's just he's got that kind of Jewish grandmother. Just let's just rip the whole town. All right. It was my favorite part coming. In danger with that stuff too. They actually when they make up stories and you have to fight your way out of it for a long time. But I know Putin very well. I got along with him very well. He respected me. And it's just one of those things. And he would talk.

Some of the problem is just he's kind of it's Groundhog's Day. Like I said last episode, it's kind of you said that already. You know, that's what happens when you have presidential candidates who don't really know policy. They just kinda, it's just kinda, it's bad, it's good. I said it's gonna be a bad day. I told them, let me also remind you about, you know, these shady people, I hate these people, they're bad, I'm good, it's kinda the same, I'm good, they're bad.

It's kind of like, how many times has he repeated this same thing over and over again? He's like stuck in it. It's like, we've heard you say it. We've heard you say it. But we've never heard him say way, no way. Way. So let's play it.

Ukraine, it was the apple of his eye. But I said don't ever do it. Don't ever do it. You know I shot down Nordstrom too. That was the big oil pipeline. Did he just call the Ukraine the apple of Putin's eye? Look, the guy's in love. What can you do? We've all had childhood sweethearts. You got to take what you can. Have you ever seen the movie Some Kind of Wonderful? You go for it baby. You ever seen Revenge of the Nerds? Dream big. Okay, the nerd got Betty. He ate Betty's pussy in that carnival.

Do you remember? And she was like, I didn't know you nerds could do that. Dream big. So basically Ukraine was Betty. Ukraine is Betty for Putin. And he wants to eat that pussy. Ha ha. Going all over Europe, I shut it down. Biden came and then they say, I loved Russia. I was a friend of Putin and I loved Russia. Now, he actually said to me one time, he said, if you're my friend, I'd hate to see you

as an enemy. I shut down his pipeline, the biggest pipeline. They were looking at that fund, and this pathetic president gets in there. And the first thing he did, one of the early things he did is he shut down Keystone XL pipeline, which is our pipeline, that would have employed 48,000 people, pipeline workers, shut it down. That was a massive job that Obama refused to allow. And I allowed it in my first week because it was jobs that have moved oil. And by the way, in a much more environmentally friendly way. It's underground It's not a truck that catches on fire or a train that catches on fire. But think of it. He shut down the

see this is where Elon and Donald their difference comes with the environment a little bit because Trump he likes to rail against you know, he's like drill baby drill oil oil and Trump, he likes to rail against, you know, he's like, drill baby, drill oil, oil, and Elon's like, what about the electric cars? And I think in this interview, Trump was like, I think they're great, I've driven one,

I think he goes, I've driven one, he goes, but some people, they, you know, they wanna stop for gas, they have concerns, and they should have options for that. So they try to, I think they played nice on that difference a little bit. Anyway, does he say the way, no way here? Oh, it's in the beginning.

Oh, so that one's done. Yeah, we played it. Oh, okay. Sorry, I just love that. He says way, I go no way, he goes way. You wanna hear it again? No, I'll take your word for it, people get it. So,

I don't think, I listened to about 10 seconds of this because it's very long, but all the clips, it's kind of groundhog's day for me. It's kind of the same. It's like, you know, it's what you'd expect, you know, bad, good, I'm bad, I'm good, they're bad. That's all it is. And Elon Musk is just going, listen,

you've won over all of us tech guys. All the tech guys are going for Trump now, right? They're all going for Trump. What do you think that is? It's a big swing, Silicon Valley. Yeah, Silicon Valley. What do you think, why are they going Trump? It's a good question.

Is it because the Democrats are like kind of trying to regulate and do child safety stuff and and They're not letting them get away with all the things they used to get away with they crack down on Zuckerberg They're trying to break up Google Right. They want to give Bing a shot Right now a federal judge declares Google a monopoly, orders a breakup of a big tech giant. And where do people stand on this, right?

It depends, right? Because it's like, this is a very liberal thing to do, breakup monopolies, right? This is what the liberal administrations like to do, breakup monopolies. Conservatives go, hey man, we won, we're better. But liberals will go, hey, this is, there's no competition, so now you have a monopoly,

so we gotta break it up. Because you can gouge, you can do whatever, you have too much power. But conservatives are the ones who complain a lot about Google's rankings, saying that Google favors often liberal news and hides conservative news. So this is one of those uncomfortable kind of like where does everyone stand? You know, what do you want to do? Do you want to break up the monopoly, which is a very liberal thing,

so then maybe you can get those Fox News articles right up to the top? Those pro Trump articles to the top? Or do you want to keep the monopoly, which is a very conservative, historically conservative position, because it's a very anti-business to break up monopolies. Hey, they're just good at what they do and Continue to have pro-biden and pro-cum-a-law stories at the top So, I don't know is that the reason why all these tech Billionaires are on board with Trump Because of all the regulation? Does

Zuckerberg want to go, hey man, just leave me alone, dude. We don't want to check who's paying for what. We just take the ads and we do what we do. We don't want to consider a war on bots and stuff like that. We don't want to consider a war on fake accounts because you don't understand that hurts our bottom line. How does that hurt our bottom line? We go to advertisers and we say, this is the amount of people on our site. And the advertisers go, okay, how can we be sure? And they go, hey, here's our numbers. These are the numbers we ran, like X. X ran the numbers on the interview and they said a kazillion people tuned in. A kazillion. A kazillion people tuned in. And then they go, hey, even if you want to run an independent study on it, right, check out the amount of accounts. You can't prove whether they're real or not. Only we can do that. Only we can prove.

Do you ever notice that you can just have multiple accounts on all these things? YouTube, you could just create multiple, you can have six different accounts. So we don't wanna do that. It's gonna hurt our bottom line. We can't lie to advertisers anymore. We can't lie to advertisers anymore We don't want to go after bots who are writing comments and stuff that lowers engagement. We give you engagement numbers

These people are addicted so their their eyeballs are there So stop it who's gonna stop Trump. I'll ease up. Maybe Trump will go easier on it All these girls are killing themselves because they're getting ganged up on online and stuff like that. Democrats, I think, wanna look into that a little more. Maybe the tech billionaires are going, we don't wanna look into that anymore. It's more personal responsibility.

Hey, 12 year old girl, fucking man up. Man the fuck up. Stop being so concerned about what your friends say. It's your choice to be on or off, right? Is it your choice? Do we have a choice? We have choice. Are we, are we, this is, this is,

this comes down to like the fundamental differences, the fundamental difference. That's the fundamental differences, let's be specific. It's the fundamental difference between the left and right wing. Personal responsibility versus the nanny, the protective nanny state. Which is stronger? Do people have agency to control what they see, to put the phone down, you know, or are we weak? Are we weak to the addictive qualities that are inherently

coded for the purpose of addicting you on social media? What is it? Are we free? Are we free? Or not? I don't know. I stopped being engaged online a long time ago. I did it. I felt like a very great Republican. You just stop. You just stop. You know? Yeah, you go through a little withdrawal. You punch your wall a few times. Yeah, you take a shit and you look around a few times. You take a shit with no phone and you go, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I can do this. You stare at your shower curtain, you look at the wall

and you go, this is good for me. It's like when you try to go vegan, you're like, this is healthy though. This is healthy. But the point is I did it because I'm a fucking free American and I have agency. I got free will.

Now, let's blame these 12 year olds a little bit. 12 is an adult, right? Nature considers a lot of younger people adults. Can't you just put the phone down? Why do we need government involved in any of this stuff? I mean, I'm breaking it down to the core issue here. That's what the core issue really is. The issue is like, should the government regulate

online stuff, which hurts the bottom line of these companies because they got to do stuff that they don't like. That'll hurt their bottom line. They can't lie as much anymore about their engagement. They can't crack down on bots and all this stuff, you know, because once they crack down on bots and fake accounts and double accounts, then their, their membership, their subscribers is going to be cut to like a quarter of what they say it is. I'm trying to think of the people that I know that are active online. They're all comedians.

I know a lot of people who are not in comedy. No real people that I know are active online. How many people do you know that are real people who are active online? You know, like active, nobody. I'm thinking about all my neighbors right now. You know, I live on a block with like cops, like the fucking military guy lives next door to me. Nobody's active on, he doesn't even pay a profile.

I'm thinking about my other friends that I've had throughout my life. Nobody's active. You still got your dogs as your profile picture and he, rest in peace, has left us to a better world. I mean, I've never seen a Jesse Scatturo tweet. No, I don't tweet. I do read Twitter though.

You retweet. I read Twitter. Oh, you retweet. Yeah, you don't even retweet. No, I don't retweet. No, you tweet. You fucking read it. You just go out there and read your news.

I read my news on Twitter. Yeah, but you know what the problem with that is is you're you fucking read it. You just go out there and read your news. I read my news on Twitter Yeah, but you know what the problem with that is is it's not you're not engaging No, no, so there's got to be for every just to get through they got to create five You know, they got to allow five Chinese bots or whatever American bots companies bots to get in there and just boost it up, you know They're gonna find out that all NBC, all these companies are just hiring, like India, they're just throwing money at India and they just got companies where they're just viewing shit to just boost these numbers. And

who's to say YouTube can't even just boost it itself, just put the number there? I mean, who's checking that? It's all, it all fucks with your head. It makes kids believe things are real that aren't real. And it's funny to watch people say things online and go like, it's all, you're like, it's over for you or whatever, or this is true, or this, you're going, none of it's real. Nothing you're saying is true in the real world, nor would you act this way in the real world.

But people, I think, believe, they start to believe online land is real and they start losing their mind. They start living in this fantasy. So maybe that's why all the tech billionaires are going to Trump. Maybe he's vowed to like just leave them alone a little more. That's the only thing I can think of because that's what they, you know, they want to deregulate. They want to open things up. That's why all the tech billionaires are going to Trump. Maybe he's vowed to like just leave him alone a little more. That's the only thing I can think of because that's what they you know, they want to deregulate. They want to open things up. That's what Trump definitely wants. I think that's I think that was the core message he gave and why he was endorsing Trump. You're better for the economy deregulation. All this stuff is better for the economy.

So they just wanna fucking deregulate everything. That's gotta be it. I don't think tech billionaires have a moral in their body. I think they're businessmen, and I think that's why. As you know, we're brought to you by Cayman Cigars. I smoked one on my new patio the other night. I've been keeping them nice and dank in the humidifier and I'm giving you my word. They are great.

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and they're really good and it's a great cause. So I love this company and I love that they're advertising here. And if the listeners love cigars, get yourself a sampler pack. Very simple. If you love cigars, try them. So enjoy a cigar and give back to those in need. Head to caimancigars.com slash Yanis to check out their sampler while supplies last. Use the code Yanis for 10% off your order. Once. That's came in cigars with an s.com Backslash Yanis for 10% off and make sure you use my promo code Yanis so they know that I sent you that's came in cigars calm Yanis smoke up So that's that's that if you didn't watch the X interview

I'm giving you the take and of course I watched more than I was joking. I watched. That's the take. Elon Musk is, he's got two things he's, he's, they're important to Elon Musk. One of them is to stop trance. He does not want the trance stuff. He doesn't want it. He wants free speech, but by free speech he means, can we please allow a lot of people to say that the Muslims are a problem? That's what he wants to say about England. He just wants that voice to be out there. And the other thing is the economy. Just deregulate the economy.

No, he has, Chachi B.T., you're wrong, he has officially endorsed Donald Trump. Yeah, exactly. For economic policies, cuts and deregulation. It's really, that's it. They could have, they could have, we didn't have to listen to Trump calling Adam shifty-shiff and all this stuff. They could have just said it quickly. They should have just been like, hey, you gotta have been like, just tell us what you're gonna fucking cut and deregulate. And also what are you gonna do about the woke mind virus?

And that's all he cares about. That's all Trump cares about. That's all he really cares about is the Trump mind virus. This is just sort of an elaborate way to say I'd like my daughter to become my son again. It's really it, right? It's like in the Facebook movie where they sort of like the hidden motivation for him creating Facebook was that girl. It's kind of like that's why we do what we do. He's estranged from his son, daughter now and it pissed him off and that just that just turned him into Hollywood Hogan. That was the switch. That's what

that's what Vince McMahon was like, we've had enough good, now we gotta entertain the people a different way. And then maybe he comes back around. But I think it's all dependent on when his son stops taking estrogen. That's really what set him off, right? I think he's admitted it. He doesn't like the walk-mind virus before that. But he didn't mind, I guess he

wasn't paying as much attention to it till it hit home, till it came to his home. So that is the Trump interview on X in a nutshell. Is Trump being Trump, talking about how he's great and everything's bad, and Elon Musk basically saying, I love you because you're gonna deregulate stuff, and also you're gonna go after the people who are giving kids shots to make them change their gender.

They didn't touch on any of the important issues like Fentanyl, McDonald's adult happy meal, 20 billion worth of arms sales going to Israel. Israel got 20 more bell. So you can probably expect a couple of freeways to be shut down. Do you think they just include that now in Los Angeles traffic? Los Angeles just had like a 4.4 earthquake

under the populated area of Los Angeles. Live there if you want. I just, I don't know what to tell you. I mean, wildfires, actors, wildfires and actors. It's enough. And earthquakes is a lot. 4.4 on the Richta. I mean, live there if you want.

You really can. But. The most important news, I think think of this week is 2,000 pounds of meth amphetamine was found, I love this, hidden in celery in an Atlanta farmer farmers market. So very smart. And also like thinking about the people, right? Cause if the methamphetamine is hidden in celery, it's gonna contaminate the celery probably. But here's the deal.

Nobody eats the celery when they get the chicken wings. It is basically the function of celery is a chicken wing garnish. Not to go to get to Seinfeldian here, but I mean like what's the deal with the celery on the plate with the chicken wings? It's like putting a piece of lettuce on a dessert plate. It's like here's your chocolate cake and your string bean. Nobody eats the string bean. Has anyone, what kind of psycho grabs the celery? First of all, when you do grab the celery,

it's because the wings are done and you want more wings and you just basically use it as a spoon to scoop blue cheese. That's right. So whoever had this plan was like, listen, which vegetable or fruit are we going to put the meth in? What are we going to hide the meth? And they're like, apples, people buy apples, dude.

People buy apples. We're going to put them in the tangerine. People do love tangerine, strawberries, blueberries, not gonna work. What is the one vegetable that like only has one purpose and nobody's gonna buy? Nobody goes to the store and goes like, give me a vat of celery, unless you're a wholesaler at Buffalo Wild Wings and they have their own connect.

That's true. They got their own connect. But how did the celery end up on the plate with the buffalo eggs? Has there ever been a plate of buffalo bones that was returned to the kitchen without the full portion of celery still on it? As it, have you ever seen in a plate of buffalo bones with no celery on it? The celery lives where the chicken dies. So they're like, yo dude, hide the meth

in the buffalo wing garnish. It's all it is is garnish. That's what it is is garnish. That's what it is. It's not even as good as the ginger on the sushi plate. Because I always eat the ginger. Most people don't, but I eat the ginger. Unless it's pink. That's how you know quality ginger. You know how you get the cheap sushi in the,

it's like pink, the ginger. You want that white, grayish white ginger. That's what ginger is supposed to look like. It's not supposed to look like your you want that white, grayish white ginger. That's what ginger's supposed to look like. It's not supposed to look like your four-year-old daughter's room, pink. So that's where they found a whole bunch, 2,300 pounds of meth

were hidden in the celery, the truck of a farmer's market in celery. It was contained in a cover load of celery. It was hiding in the celery. And then here's the funny part. This is the funny part. The DEA agents, Murphy said, it was hiding in the celery. Obviously we threw away the celery. That didn't make it to the store. And I guarantee you the store was like,

don't worry about it. It's not gonna hurt our bottom line at all. Nobody buys the celery at the store. How much celery do you think supermarkets have to throw out every week if there's one food item? They they're like if you forget it one week, you're like no prob So if you want to know where the drugs are hidden I think we just finally figured out where they've been putting it. And the reason why it hasn't been found is because nobody's thinking about the celery.

Nobody even thinks about the celery when it's on your plate. People just go like this and they just move it. They just kinda move it away or they just leave it. I think actually they put the celery in the plate to give you less chicken wing. Like I don't understand. No, it's just a fork to scoop if there's extra blue cheese

and you wanna scoop extra blue cheese. You can use the celery. Yeah, when you were a kid, you ever go over to a friend's house and his mom would give you celery with peanut butter? Yeah, there it is, it's just a scoop. We wanna throw that in her face. Yeah, it's just an organic spoon for the peanut butter.

Get this shit out of here. Does celery have, celery has no taste. Or celery and tuna, ugh. But yeah, celery's most often used to scoop peanut butter or to scoop blue cheese dressing, and that's it. And I think we figured out the another popular, another popular use for celery and that's hiding meth. They got to check the Brussels sprouts next.

They got to do that. Um, so there will be no celery in the new happy meals for adults. I'll tell you that right now. McDonald's is, uh, as we told you a couple episodes ago, I think, um, their numbers are down. People are not choosing to eat at McDonald's as much anymore. And so they're trying something here. They're going for it.

And they're doing a happy meal, which traditionally has only been for kids. They're doing a happy meal for adults. And what you can get, full-grown people, is a collectible cup. So you get your food, and then you get a cup. And they're all nostalgic cups. Remember the 101 Dalmatian figurines in 1996 or the mini Beanie Babies that debuted in 1997?

The only person who's gonna buy this is Emma Stone from that movie. She Baby, what was it called? Pretty things. Pretty things? Pretty things, yeah. So they're trying to go after your nostalgia and go, hey, do you remember Beanie Babies? Do you want a cup?

Hey, 50-year-old lady, do you want a Beanie Baby cup? So they're just going for nostalgia for the millennials. They're not, I guess they're going for the 30 somethings, right, because Beanie Babies were around in the 90s when they were little. So starting August 13th, you heard it here, and McDonald's didn't even pay me to say this. A great thing's happening in this country.

You can get Hot Wheels, Hello Kitty, Shrek, Jurassic Park, Minions, Barbies in there, and Beanie Babies. You can get these toys for $5 with your burger. What's in the meal? You get a Big Mac or you can get the 10 piece McNuggets. They don't even call them chicken McNuggets anymore because they're mostly, it's mostly not chicken. They're McNuggets.

It's mostly pink liquid. And you get fries in a drink. But that's not where the real value is. The value is in the beanie baby. It's only available for a limited time. So you'll have to hurry if you want to collect any of these cups. And if you're a really crazy McDonald's fan, some of these collectibles you can find online if you miss this amazing deal. Look at this cup. It's a beautiful cup with Kermit the Frog on it. Vintage 1981 McDonald's, the great mug. The thing is there's probably a few collectors

that are going to go crazy for this, right? Is glass? I think it's a glass. It's a glass. Now that changes everything. Now that I know it's a glass. Quality. Yeah, I need to get myself a Barbie class. I really do. Can we continue to allow marketers to just infantilize adults anymore with marketing? I mean, how many more Backstreet Boy concerts with 40-year-old women am I gonna have to endure with these ladies, these cat ladies, trying to relive their youth? I don't want these adults buying this stuff for themselves. I want them buying toys that are hot for their kids right now because they all need to be moms. I don't want these people thinking about their own selfish needs.

This is a liberal, this is a goddamn liberal Kamala Harris plot to keep these chicks childless. Okay, JD Vance. You know what I'm saying? What's hot now? I want a Bluey cup for my kids. Tim Waltz, this is, as soon as Tim Waltz got in, I don't think it's a coincidence that as soon as Tim Waltz got in the race, McDonald's decided to appeal to his base of cat ladies who have nothing going on in their lives,

so they want to add McDonald's adult happy meal collectible cups to their cupboard. Tim Walz, Mr. Stolen Vera, I'd like to just call him Rambo. R.R.R.R. R.R.R. R.R.R. R.R.R.

R.R.R. Rambo has carried many, many weapons of war. And I think what he meant when he said I carried a weapon of war, he meant Kamala Harris. He carried Kamala Harris to victory. Cause you can be sure when she gets in office, wars will continue. I just shored up a lot of my base right there.

Hey, what's up? I'm talking to my libertarian pacifists right there. Hey, what's up? I'm talking to my libertarian pacifists right now. Let's stop this endless war, man. I love libertarian pacifists because they're all about fucking stopping war and letting companies do what they got to do. And so I'm a libertarian now. I think I'm a libertarian. I'm a libertarian socialist that leans down. Can you lean down instead of the left or right? What if you wanna lean down? Meaning you just wanna bow out of the whole thing.

I wanna bow out of the whole thing. I lean down. You wanna know what I, I lean down, which means I've converted to Islam. I'm submitting myself to Allah. I'm submitting myself. I'm leaning down. Tim Walz is a veteran. You can't take that away from him. He is a veteran of administrative duties for the military. He is, you ever see the movie Secretary? What did he do in the military?

Did he ever? Oh, what was his job? I don't know, but he was, he led about. No, I'm saying according to him. Oh, according to him, I think he, I think he took out whole platoons of Mujahideen. You know, he knows what it's like to carry a weapon of war is what he said. Um, the, so Tim Walz has been caught doing a little fibbing about his service. He got a little carried away. He got a little carried away during his rallies, you know, saying, hey, the guns are bad.

Nobody should be carrying weapons of war because I know what it's like to carry a weapon of war. And apparently he's never carried a weapon of war. He's also said that I think he, one time said he was in combat and he wasn't. He actually retired when he was eligible to retire before he would have been deployed to Iraq. Which I'm gonna say I think is a smart move. I don't know anyone who's gonna do that unless they really love this country or unless they've got to pay for college or

something like that which when you need to pay for college is like a 30% chance you're gonna make it to pay for college. That's why drones are good. Let's just keep the if we're gonna keep doing warfare how about we just let the drones fight each other? How about that position? How about we take all the kids off the battlefield and let the drones just fight each other? That would be a great way to do it. Just drone warfare, whoever's got the better drones. It becomes illegal to have people on the battlefield. It's just war, machines got to fight each other. And we can all watch and enjoy it and that would be fun to watch fireworks pick a location where

the war the war can happen and then go in some desert how about the desert how about the Sahara where Russia brings all of its things we bring all of our things and we just fire them at each other and whoever wins gets to take Ukraine, which is the girl everyone's after, dog. Betty from Revenge of the Nerds, Ukraine, the apple of Putin's eye. It's always been. He's always had his eye on that chick. He wants her bad. Yeah, look at these. Robot wars. It's actually a show and it's fun to watch. Let's just make war this. But let's hear a little bit of Tim Walz talking about his military experience.

Tim Walz wants to be a heartbeat away from Commander in Chief, but Tim Walz has lied about his military record for years. He's used the rank that he never achieved in order to advance his political career. Walz lied repeatedly about his rank. Retired command sergeant major. Retired command sergeant major. Command sergeant major. Retired command sergeant major. Walz lied about being in combat. And make sure that those weapons of war that I carried in war, that I carried in war. Walz dodged deployment by retiring when he knew his National Guard unit was going to Iraq Everybody knew they were going to train and go to Iraq Morning order basically stated that

Too much later after he knew it, that's when he retired Walls disparaged Minnesota National Guard soldiers Mayor said I requested a National Guard We're going to have massively trained troops No, we're going to have 19 year old Joe Cooks That same Minnesota National Guard that he disparaged, unlike Walls, served heroically in Iraq and Afghanistan. Tim Walls is not fit to be anywhere near the office of commander in chief.

Tim Walls is guilty of stolen valor. Uh oh. He abandoned us. I mean, what the hell kind of leader does that? So Trump's going to pick up on that one big time. He's gonna call him Rambo. Hey, you can keep Rambo. Keep Rambo. Keep Rambo.

Yeah, he fibbed a little bit. And then, you know, he caught himself calling them 19-year-old cooks. I mean, well, that's, you were in the National Guard, so I guess you were just a 19-year-old cook or whatever. But they, yeah. Yeah, he used it for police. It was, I guess what we found out is Tim Walz is a

slimy politician who likes to lie a little bit. Never seen any war never seen any combat. But he did serve his country. The Harris campaign has said he misspoke. So they did reply to this and said he misspoke and So they did reply to this and said, he misspoke and then they, they switched it over. You know, the second part of the statement was like a switch over to criticizing something else about the Trump campaign. So there you have it. Rambo and comma blah,ah verse Donny T and JD Cat Lady Lance Vance. Who you got?

Well, it looks like Kamala's up even in the betting pools now. She's a favorite. Vegas has got her, right? Pretty much a big swing. I think in the beginning of July, Trump was a 74% favorite to win. And now it looks like Kamala is a 56 or 54% favorite to win. So the betting odds data. And it looks like the latest polls have her up by a good couple of points in three swing states. Is that what it is? Yeah, it would be what?

Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and was it Michigan? I think she's up. So who do you got? Who are you voting for? And what's going to happen? So, who do you got? Who are you voting for? And what's going to happen? Only Allah knows. Want to give a shout out to Jared Z. as always guys.

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