Yannis Pappas Hour - Tom Hanks & John Stamos Stand-Ins w/ Joe Derosa

Episode Date: July 9, 2023

Joe Derosa from Taste Buds drops by and it goes long and bezerk. Comedian Yannis Pappas wants to bring us all together by ripping everyone apart. No sacred cows, no partisanship, no mercy. Yannis Pappas identifies as a certified historian, P.R. Rep, social scientist, journalist and gender dysphoria expert. Join us every week to learn the future, analyze the past and defend the un-defendable. See Yanni do stand up, live Dates & Cities below All tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.com Poughkeepsie, July 21-22 Long Island Aug 17 Salt Lake City aug 4-5 Dallas Aug 24-26 Springfield l, MO sept 7-9 Calgary Sept 22–23 FORTË Wayne, Indiana Sept 29-30 Red Bank, NJ Oct 14 San Fran Oct 27-28 New York Nov 4 Providence Nov 10-11 Phoenix Nov 16-18 Spokane Dec 1-2 Tulsa Dec 8-9 Louisville Dec 15-16 Toronto March 23 Watch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQ Join our highlights page for highlight clips from the episodes: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykw New episodes every Sunday and new bonus episodes every Wednesday at https://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour?utm_campaign=creatorshare_creator

It's a long day coming, it's about to be a really long day A lot with a little. Joe DeRosa. What's that mean? It means you fucking pull it off. Yeah. Like, you're not, me and you are both not the handsomest guys. We have flaws. Yeah, but, you know. But you fucking maximize it, dude. So do you, dude. I know.

We're two guys who have a lot in common. We're guys who are not traditionally handsome, but we fucking maximize. I got the glasses to separate the eyes. You got the nice rims to distract from things i mean i can't speak for myself but i i never saw you as i always saw you as a pretty good looking kid i saw you as a good looking guy too but also i i'm aware we're not we're not matt rife types no but who is besides matt rife you know what i mean that's like saying like i'm not you know he's a great looking kid it's like saying, like, I'm not, you know, he's a great

looking kid. It's like saying I'm not a Brad Pitt. We're ordinary looking guys with flaws. Yeah, yeah. I feel like you could get in shape as much as possible and you'd still have a double chin. I think it would look weird because you'd be jacked and then you'd just have a double chin. If I live right,

this goes away. Or a little tuck. You ever going to pull it back? Honestly, if I just start doing better, it goes away you ever gonna pull it back honestly if I just start doing better it goes away it's where I gain weight in three places here tits and gut doing better meaning like Pinocchio it grows when you lie no no no if I just like stick to a fucking

decent regimen and lose weight it'll go away but that's not in your personality not really yeah me neither and like I don't know, man. Like, nobody seems to have any complaints, so what am I going to do? Nobody. You fucking clean up. No, no, no.

Stop with that. Your nickname around these towns is the sanitation department. Stop with that. That's what we call you. We call you the comedy sanitation department. Listen, I remember this is why I said what I said about your looks. Chicks always liked you, dude. You always had something going on.

I'm a good-looking guy, and I— That's not what I said. Let's not get crazy, right. You can't say it about yourself. That's what I'm saying. I'm saying it to you. I appreciate it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For me, it depends.

But you are the kind of guy that would say something like that about himself. Because I'm a pig. Yeah. Yeah, pig. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. You compliment yourself. You're not above it. No, I'm the type of guy.

You know I'm the type of guy that watches my own video twice and enjoys it. I'm that type of narcissistic pig. You're a guy with Jordans in the closet. You got Jordans. I've got Jordans in the closet, and I think things are going better than they are. But it's all about a glass half full kind of mindset. I miss the city, the energy of the city. Of course you do.

I came down here. You need a roommate? I'm leaving my life. Dude, it's funny. I'm trying to find a place to get away to sometimes so I can then come back and enjoy this. Because being in it 24-7 is tough. But I got to tell you, I want to switch and take my wife and then I'll take your 22-year-old girlfriend. Yeah.

I want to just fucking go. I just want to get the fuck out of here for a little while. But, I mean, I got to tell you, the... Oh, oh. It's funny you say that. Cause I've been thinking about like moving to like, I'm like, oh, I'm going to move into like deeper Brooklyn where it's quiet. Or maybe I'll move to Staten where it's quiet, like, or Jersey or whatever. I'm just thinking about all this stuff.

Right. And I was starting to look at places and stuff. When people say Staten Island, the first thing that doesn't come off the head is quiet. Really? No, yeah. I find it painfully quiet when I'm there. Yeah, you're from the city, but I'm saying that's not usually what you affiliate. Right.

If we were playing that game, what's it called? Charades or whatever, or affiliation. You go Staten Island, you go, no blacks, Italians, good pizza, stuff like that. Mafia. Right, right. Right. blacks, Italians, good pizza, stuff like that, mafia. Right, right. Right. Well, Brooklyn, same thing, right? Yes.

People don't think Brooklyn quiet. But I mean, dude, I love it in the LES. It's like, it's a lot. It's intense. The LES is intense. In what way? And I mean, it's just, it's always on, dude. It's just always going.

There's a lot. It's a hip part of town. It's an epicenter. But there's a lot of rats. There's a lot of trash. There's like a, it's like, and then there's like foofy cocktail bars everywhere. It's like a real hip zone. Like, it's just a lot, dude.

It's a lot. It's a lot of cars. It's a lot of people walking out in the street. It's a lot of bikes and scooters. You know what I mean mean it's like action can you remember one time in your life where you said this is perfect yeah yeah i loved it take me there what was a perfect moment for joe de rosa when i came back from la comedy comes from like fuck you shit sure you stink yeah all of it comes from that yeah i don't think anything comes from anything good but uh

when I came back from LA I was like this is this is a dream because I was in LA I was living by myself in the suburbs and I was like I wanted to fucking hang myself like I couldn't handle it anymore my work had dried up I didn't have a lot going on all my friends were in relationships um and everywhere you turned was a reminder that you weren't working. Every date you went on was with somebody talking about what they were going to do with their career. And it was just like, I just, it was horrible. And I was like, I have to get back to a place where I can be by myself but still be plugged in. So when I came back here and I moved into that neighborhood, I was like, holy shit, dude.

Like, this is incredible. Like, I got four of the coolest bars I've ever seen within two blocks of my apartment. Look at this restaurant. Look at that food place. There's my deli. The park is right there. The fucking graffiti murals.

Holy shit. There's Run DMC on the side of a building you know what i mean it was just amazing and it still is amazing and it's an amazing neighborhood but it's just i'm 45 it's just becoming too much all the time so i uh and i'm also a guy like i i'm a big uh I'm a big media file. I collect a lot. I know. I buy a lot of records and stuff. So I love the – I'm like, oh, I can walk to two of the best record stores I've ever been to.

My neighborhood retro gaming store is the best retro gaming store I've ever gone to. It's like all that at my fingertips, I feel like I'm – I always say the way I describe it is I always feel like if Walt Disney made a park for me, you know what I mean? He's like, here's your park, dude. It would be, it would be that neighborhood. Yeah.

Yeah. A lot of people single. Yeah. It's okay. Yeah. Tattoos, tattoo shops, vinyl. You went big for that analogy. If Walt Disney made a park for you.

Yeah. It's like, Joe, let me make something for Joe DeRosa. I mean, am I saying anything that's not? No. You know what I'm saying? Go big for that analogy. If Walt Disney made a park for you, let me make something for Joe DeRosa. I mean, am I saying anything that's not? No. You know what I'm saying? Go big or go home, yeah. Did you use the secret to get your bar? What gave you the motivation to be able to get your own bar?

Because now you have your own bar. Oh, the book? Yeah, did you read the tools? Did you do the secret? Did you come into some family money? Nothing. What did you do? Did you get a pilot deal and get a little money and you said'm gonna throw this in the sandwiches these people want to know how to live

the american dream an international disaster struck with covid and rents dropped and i jumped on it with with paul but we were able to get a bar space but that is innovative that's the american dream making something happen not sitting around and fucking complaining about it. It's popping open your fucking Lexapro bottle down the gullet and getting out there. We had an idea that we were lucky enough that the investors believed in it. We believed in it, obviously. And that was that, you know, and I'm glad we did it. But, you know, it's just, but wait, wait, wait, back to the thing, though, because we got, we're getting way off of it which is fine we can always go back you said about leaving unplugging and you want

to get back to the energy right because i know guys like you that are saying that a lot of friends of mine in your position in your almost exact position are saying that i want to get back to the action i miss it uh when you were also the guys that five years ago were saying, like, got good riddance, I'm done, right? Which is now I'm kind of saying that. And yesterday I was out in, like, I looked at a house in Brooklyn yesterday, like a literal house. Things had gone good. No, not to buy it, just to rent.

To dream. Just to rent. It had a big backyard. It had a finished studio in the basement, like an art studio. It was in between Williamsburg and Brooklyn. It was on like very off the beaten path street. There's not really anything around it. It was quiet. And I was like, fuck, man, maybe this is it. Like maybe this is where I got to go and collect my mind and i stepped out i looked at the apartment it was nice and i stepped out and i was like fuck i can't i can't walk to like there's nowhere to

just walk and get a fucking breakfast you know what i mean and i started doing all that and i was like you don't need that you don't need that you just you think you need that you don't need that i'm like what if i want to go get records? Where do I go? I was like, fuck, I got to get in a car. Fuck, parking garage is a 10-minute walk. All right. You don't need any of this. You think you need this stuff, you know, right? And then I went home, and I was watching. I was watching.

This is coming to a point. I just love the fact that getting records is a big part of where you're going to buy your home. It's huge. Very hard to find records. Not buy, no, rent. To rent or get, yeah. It's a huge part of my life. And there's very few places where you can get records nowadays,

so you're basically narrowed down to like two blocks in the world. Well, I'm getting past, I'm getting, I get, I understand your humor. Yeah. I'm getting, I get, I understand your humor. Yeah. I'm getting, I was, I was pretty, I was a bunch of ticks down the list at that point. But my point is, it was like one thing after the other. What was before that?

DVDs? No, no, no. That's a big one for me too. No, no. The first thing was breakfast. I was just like picturing, you know, a Sunday morning, you want to walk and get breakfast sometimes. And I was like, where do I go? And I was like, there's nothing here. Where was this place?

Montana? No, it was in Brooklyn. So there was no places to get breakfast? There were some Latin-style places, which is great. But there wasn't a diner. You just go get pancakes and shit. There't like a white restaurant yeah yeah a nice clean now uh i don't want to get fucking rosanne over here for canceled for sarcasm restaurant uh with people who want to live amongst the latins but eat at that spot yeah but but shut them out

when they need to that's right no no no no no i'm kidding uh no i'm kidding of course no i just mean like i was just like like it was just i wasn't like seeing stuff that i like to utilize a lot you know i was like okay there's that there's that one bar but that's not really your that's not like a bar you would that would be like your local like i do that a lot i go like to like my local like at like on the way home and I'll stop and have a drink I don't give a fuck so like there was just a lot of stuff like that that I'm used to now that I can access but then the noise and the energy is starting to kill me right anyway uh I was as I was going down this long list, I was like, you don't need any of that stuff.

You think you need it. You don't need it. These are earthly things that you think you need that you don't need. And then I watched, I was eating dinner last night, and I put on It's Always Sunny. And one of my favorite episodes is Mac and Dennis move to the suburbs, and I turn it on. And I was like, holy shit. Because the whole plot is they it on and i was like holy because the whole plot is is they're tired of spending too much money in the city and they move to a house in the suburbs and they're like this is great this is paradise look at this we got a pool

can you believe we get this much space and by like day three there's a line where dennis goes i i i i was moving out here to dull my edges. My edges are sharper than ever because he's so mad that there's like it's too quiet. The commute in an hour every day, he's screaming in traffic. He can't stand it. And I was like, holy shit, that's me. There's pros and cons to both. That's me.

Like that will happen to me. I. Like, that will happen to me. I know me. That will happen to me. I can't go that far. No, you need to be in the action. You should get an apartment in a bar that's also a record store. So, with chicks. That's your perfect house.

It's a bar, sandwich shop, with chicks, and records. But, I mean, like, here's the thing with New York, dude, and this is the problem of New York. This is the conundrum. Even living in Williamsburg, right, in one of the quieter pockets of Williamsburg, this is the problem with New York. You can't, if you can't walk to it,

you can't get to it a lot of the time. Like, like everybody goes, oh, the subway, the subway. It's like, bro, I'm not taking the subway to the Best Buy to buy a flat screen. Like this, fuck the subway. You know what I mean? Like the subway is great. Not anymore. It's a little dangerous.

Well, now it's dangerous. And that's so, so I'm not even talking about that aspect of it right and then also the fucking rat epidemic right yeah so no i don't want to go down there anyway anymore but but that's besides the point people like the subway so great it's like the subway's great if you're hopping your nine to five like that's the yeah or you're a fucking kid backpacking around the city like i'm like if like, if you got shit you got to do, like real errands to run, like, the subway's not always great, dude. Like, you know, like, so even living in Williamsburg where there's so much fun shit to do and it's alive and all that bullshit. The second I'm like, I used to have a joke when I lived in Williamsburg the first time.

I was like, this town's great. They were great till you need a pair of socks. You're like, you just want to go to a fucking Target and get a pair of socks. I don't need artisan, hand-knitted fucking socks from some Bolivian kid. You know what I mean? Who opened his dream store on Bedford Avenue. I'm like, Jesus Christ, man, I need a pair of fucking socks. You need a pair of generic sweatshop socks that are $2.99 for three.

You need some Hanes. So, like, that's the problem with New York. And when I'm realizing, like, okay, dude, if your convenience is compromised, it's going to drive you fucking crazy. So I'm like, okay, I think I got to either live right over that bridge in Williamsburg or in a different part of Manhattan that's just a little quieter. This is the most local podcast we've done we're talking about neighborhoods in new york you asked man no it's totally fine welcome to uh cable access manhattan this is the good part this is why you should still be doing the news

you want to do a fucking interview show this is what you get dude i keep trying to go national and they keep pulling me back local yeah this is why new york is great because it's a place where a guy like you who's wawa trash yeah could come here throw on some fucking glasses and be a cool new york record collecting dude and underneath it we both know you want a hoagie and you want to go home. I mean you're Philly garbage underneath it all. I would love to live in Philly. Another life where you're wearing a dirty Philly hat

behind the bar of some center city fucking bar. It wouldn't happen. You're going like Chase Utley's here. It wouldn't be happening dude. If I was back in my hometown I'd be the coolest kid in town Would you really? You'd be the one kid who Soundgarden was

That's the hippest band In Collegeville Pennsylvania You wouldn't be just an Eagles monkey I never No From a young age Knew that I didn't, I love Philly. I would live in Philly now because I didn't live in Philly.

I grew up in the suburbs. You ever think about going to Philly and becoming the king of Philly? Just Joe DeRosa king of Philly. But Philly's a cool town. I wouldn't be, you know, I wouldn't be like cool there. I'd be like I am here. I'd just be another guy into fun stuff. No, no, no, no, no.

Here there's a lot of Joe DeRosa's there. I don't think you've been. A lot of people would just be another guy into fun stuff. No, no, no, no, no. Here, there's a lot of Joe DeRoses. There, a lot of people would just think you're Tom Hanks. I'll take that. Do you ever know that me and you are just destined to just be here because you look like a lesser Tom Hanks and I look like a lesser John Stamos? Dude.

If they dim the lights and we go from far away, we look like two movie stars. The balls on you. Do you see the time-lapse connection a little bit? Yeah, dude, but the fact that you're throwing yourself in with the most is insane, dude. Are you crazy? I look like him if he was blind.

No, dude, you look like fucking Coulier on a decent day at best, dude. You're throwing yourself in with Stamos because you're Greek? Are you crazy? Are you fucking crazy? I somehow look like all three of them put together. I'm not even giving you shagging. Don't I kind of look like all three smashed up? Yeah, you do. You got a little smash.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But did anyone ever tell you Tom H up? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you do. You got a little smash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But did anyone ever tell you Tom Hanks? Yeah, I see that a lot. I see it. It's been resurfacing. When I was fatter and a bit sloppier, I got Paul Giamatti all the time. Paul Giamatti? See, I kind of grew out of it in a weird way.

But my face used to just be like, I don't know. You're much better looking than Paul Giamatti. I looked a lot like Paul Giamatti when American Splendor came out. I think it had a lot to do with my hair. Yeah. And I don't know. There's a similarity. My dream movie.

And I wrote the script with a guy. And nothing happened but I I wrote a movie with a friend of mine Micah and it was it was

it was about first of all that's how you know that his friend is nobody in the business just one name no he if it was somebody

like with Michael Richardson no no no he's a producer he works in reality TV and stuff. Oh, okay. But he... The cast was, this is what I wanted.

It was about four brothers. Oh, shit. It was a bank... You wrote that movie with Tyrese? Yeah, me and Tyrese. It was about four brothers. It was a bank robbery comedy. It was about four brothers.

And the brothers were me, Paul Giamatti, Vince Vaughn, and Louis Black. And it was when Louis Black was still younger. And I was going to be the kid brother. And I was like, this is such a perfect four shades of the same guy. Yeah. Yeah. And nothing happened. What happened?

Did you pitch it around? Is it good? I think it's funny. Yeah. But the longer, the further down the road you get them where you're like, it's going to be fucking impossible to get, like, all these guys, let alone one of these guys. Who am I? I'm not a big enough name.

Like, I'll get this made. Like, my favorite story about that is Tower Heist, the movie Tower Heist that Brett Ratner directed that starred Eddie Murphy and Matthew Broderick and Ben Stiller. Ben Stiller is the main star. That movie was supposed to be, it was Eddie Murphy's dream project, and it was called Trump Tower. It was a bank robbery.

It was a robbery movie where they robbed Trump Tower. Four black guys robbed Trump Tower. And it was Eddie, Chris Rock, Chappelle, and I think Chris Tucker was the fourth dude. Wow, powerhouse. And by the time that fucking thing got to screen, Eddie was in a supporting role. The star was Ben Stiller. It's not about Trump Tower. Alan Alda's in it.

You're like, what the fuck is going on over here? They Hollywoodized it. Yeah, they Hollywoodized it. I think I saw that and I was like, I don't have a fucking shot at getting this made. Yeah, but they were also probably going, look, Eddie, we love Boomerang, but that only appeals to the blacks. And we need to, you know, they cast it like an advertisement. It's wild, dude. We need a white, we need this.

It's wild. So you just thought, yeah, if he didn't have a chance to get his dream project. And then Louis Black, I think got, I mean, I can't speak for Louis Black. It's not like I pitched it to him, but he seemed to kind of drift away from acting, and he's just a stand-up. And he's also in it. I think he's in his 70s now, right? So, like, I just was like,

it just kind of passed that place where I was like, this is, you know, a believable whatever. Giamatti, oh, Giamatti got on Billions. That's right. And I was like, fuck, dude. He's like... Soda to Soda, and we were both like, fuck.

Yeah, I know. What are we doing? We gave the script to S i know i should we gave the script to soda i never even thought of that when do i stink at this business i'm good at this business you're good at the business i'm good at doing good at the business you're not good at you what do you mean why do you just wanted to make the joke i was just gonna say why do you do this you're great at the business. You're just not good at being you. No, you're great at both. I'm good at doing the business the way I want to do the business. I am not good at doing the business. I got very lucky that I figured out a little niche area for myself in this business where I kind of live it and conduct it the way I want to

and manage to keep the lights on. That's it. But I, you know, I don't. You put me on paper next to a lot of guys. I'm not. You've done great, too. You got a couple specials. You even, you did a side project, Sandwich Shop.

Looped back into comedy. Podcasts. You've done great. Yeah, no. You've always been great. Joey's always around. I'm not complaining. Yeah. But I'm saying. Yeah, no, I'm not. You've always been great. Joey's always around. I'm not complaining. Yeah.

But I'm saying. You were on the Pete Holmes show. I'm saying I was. But I mean, look at me on paper next to Pete. Pete's a guy that's like, you know, like. Gets a lot of chances. He, you know, he starred in his own sitcoms, like, and stuff. Like, I don't do stuff like that.

But it's also, I think some of it is me. And then some of it is me not playing, working the business the way. It's a business like any other. So it's like. It's a bullshit business. You got to be able to bullshit. You got to be able to be versions of yourself. You got to work it.

Yeah. You got to be able to. You got to know when to turn it off. You got to know when to shut the fuck up. Yeah. They got to be comfortable that they're going to hire you, and you're not going to yell some crazy thing

that's going to compromise their whole project. And when you look at this face, you just don't have that confidence. And I think when you look at that face, you just don't have that confidence. Well, you know what it is? More when you look at this face.

You know what it is? They go through my Twitter and they go, we can't trust that he's not going to say something. Let's do a law analogy. Yeah. Let's do a law analogy.

Law analogy. There's obviously big time lawyers, right? Yeah. And their do a law analogy. Yeah. Let's do a law analogy. Law analogy. There's obviously big-time lawyers, right? Yeah. And their daughters are whores. There are guys that become Johnny... There are guys that become Johnny Cochran in law. There are guys that become Johnny Cochran where it's like

this motherfucker, you know, who's the guy that repped Trump and repped Woody Allen, or repped Mia Farrow in the Woody Allen case. Oh, Silver... No, no. Dershowitz.

Dershowitz. Oh, yeah. There are superstar lawyers. Yeah. Then there's the character Dustin Hoffman plays in Sleepers

where they pull him out of his fucking apartment and he goes, I don't really want to do this anymore. And they go, are you drinking or not? Because you're doing this job? That's where you and me are. We're that lawyer. I'm like, somehow I just keep getting gigs.

Dennis Hopper and Hoosiers. That character is in a lot of movies. Yeah, I'm like, somehow I keep throwing fucking water at him. Get out there. We need you. And I'm like, and I just seem to kind of do it the way I feel like doing it. And fuck it, man. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, look, at the end of the day, we all go on the ground. So what, who really wins? The person who does what he absolutely wants all the time or the person who compromises, doesn't love it, and gets bigger, who really wins? That's the philosophical question. Me and Dante Nero have a thing. Dante's one of my best friends.

And I know that thing. It's called, bitches suck, don't give them anything. And he'll tell you that while his mom walks behind him in the frame. I love Dante Nero. I love him. He's the best. Dante's honestly one of my best friends in the world. He's a great human being.

He says this to me, because I'll call him sometimes and be like, I don't like him. I'm down. And he goes, Joe, man, fucking crab legs, dog crab legs. Go get some crab legs? Because I called him once. Yeah. And he goes, what are you doing? I go, I'll tell you what I'm doing. I go, I want a king crab legs go get some crab legs because i called him once yeah and he goes what are you doing i go i'll tell you what i'm doing i go i want a king crab legs so i went to the fucking seafood market

down the block for me and i just bought 200 worth of king crab legs and i came home and cooked them and i'm gonna eat them by myself like a fucking king yeah i'm having a feast over here so whenever i feel down he says that to me and he goes crab legs he goes Joe so what you're not a millionaire you don't have a mansion but you can go buy those fucking crab legs whenever you want

that's not a bad thing and I was like yeah you're right man but we talked about this this morning and this is obviously everybody talks about this ad nauseum but it's, you know, but we talked about this this morning and this is obviously, everybody talks about this ad nauseum, but it's like the comparative analytical life we all live now because of social media where you think nothing is good enough. You know, I look at my tour dates, then I see yours and I go, but he's in these venues and those venues see. Why are you such a bitter fucking, why are you looking at my tour dates? Because I don't do that with your tour dates.

I don't want you to succeed. Now, why are you looking at my tour dates? Because I don't do that with your tour dates. I don't want you to succeed. No. I'm not saying literally your tour dates. No, but if I was succeeding less, you wouldn't be upset about that. No. Why are we all cunts? No, I'm saying, yeah, no, I know you're joking, but do you know what I'm saying? Yeah.

I know. Like, I look at my thing and I go, that's pretty good. And then obviously I see your thing. Right. And your thing seats 100 or 200 more people. And you go. 800, 900. You know?

I'm joking, yeah. See, that bothered me right there. I'm just kidding. I'm joking. But you know what I mean? And instead of just going, great, who cares? You go, why am I not? It's crazy, dude.

Yeah. It's crazy. It's sick. This is the only fucking country, not the only, but this is one of the only countries that functions like that. It's sick. Yeah. So I got a lot. You can deduct that out, too.

You can expand that out to kids and how they're growing up. up and we're all being raised by ai and conditioned like pavlovian dogs to try to get the attention of complete strangers via the apparatus of a computer which has no humanity to it so we're all just data driven sociopaths it's making us all psychopaths and it makes us think like psychopaths and it brings out insecurity and it's all not real everyone's filtering their faces everyone's putting up their best photos that don't reflect reality everyone's saying they're sold out when they're missing 10 seats less it's all a lie we've all become madison avenue level marketers that's what the internet has taught us right um fake it till you make it and it's all and what people don't know are But ultimately, are you that guy?

No. No, and that's why— Would you be having more fun in a sold-out show? You're having a blast right now. I can see it in your eyes. I'm having a good time. Yeah, I know. But I stress about it. Yeah.

I stress. I'm like, do we— You didn't do this podcast for the numbers. You did it for a good time. Yeah. Yeah. You know, but, you know— Shit, you didn't have to say yeah so quickly.

No, but it's a big podcast. This a big podcast it's an established show huge it's so so you know that helps it does help you you know you want to do it because you know but but but no we were talking today and i said i want to come on the show again because i like talking to you and you said come on today which was nice but like i don't know man like yeah i i have a great time i feel really fucking lucky man like you know i've had moments i'm not kidding dude i've had moments where i've walked on stage and i've i've like gotten like a little teary like like i'll walk out in the reception of the audience and seeing a few hundred people that are excited like like i'm like this is like i'll have that moment like i almost got a little tear here like where you're like this is your dream dude this is it's happening

that's a beautiful thing man i don't that's not lost on me yeah but it doesn't mean that i'm not uh weak enough to to to or or just human enough to fall susceptible or victim to these mechanical fucking influences and these digital things that we're suffering. Not just you. Nobody is. You know, but. You said it. You can feel the boiling depression of everybody. Like the whole thing is just boiling depression.

You're not the only one who looks around and then clicks off and feels like shit. I think everyone does. I think social media has gotten to this point. And you had a great line about going over to threads from Twitter. It's so true. Because nothing is real anymore. Like, no. And, you know, it's the liberals.

The liberals are the ones that don't care. They've gone over to Zuckerberg's, you know, platform, forgetting all the stuff that Zuckerberg's done. No, it's wild. Because the liberals, you just have to say the right things for liberals. It doesn't matter what you've done as long as your, you know, the surface is couth. Well, it's, yeah, I said, I said going from, I said leaving Twitter for this place was like leaving the beach in Jaws to go the beach and jaws to it's like it's just going to be a fucking like seeing like all Elon such a bad person. You're going like you went to Mark Zuckerberg. Mark Zuckerberg was selling our fucking information to everybody.

I know. I know. Zuckerberg. Elon might be a cunt in his own way and might be, people would argue, bigoted in many ways or selfish or egomaniacal. There are plenty of things people could argue about Elon Musk and make some valid points. But I don't think the guy ever did anything that potentially compromised the safe. It was almost treasonous. Right, right. that potentially compromised the safe. It was almost treasonous. He wasn't taking money from shell disinformation farms.

Yeah, also, a movie about Musk would be boring because it would just be him being like, I think I'm fucking awesome. He'd be like, shut up, Elon. Who cares? The Zuckerberg movie was interesting because he's like, watch me connive and deceive and do all these horrible things to people. Because I'm a bad person. Yeah, Elon Musk movie, there'd be a lot of scenes where kids would come up and go, can I have your autograph?

And he'd go, what's your name? And he goes, they'll be like, I'm your kid. And he's like, oh, right, yeah. I got a lot of you, don't I? I got a lot of you, don't I? But you know, man, it is the, look, the difference is, the difference between the right and the left is,

is the right wants to shut you out from the jump. The right, the right wants to build the wall, right? Put the fucking wall up, get the gun, shoot the guy as he's coming through the fucking door, prison, lock it down. You know what I mean? They want to shut you out from the jump.

The left likes you until you fuck up, and then they hunt you down. Right. You know what I mean? And that's the difference. That's the difference. And by fucking up, saying the wrong thing. Saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing. And it could be a mild mistake but then they will look for

once there's a little blood in that water yeah and they all go hey listen we're all doing that but we don't get caught and you getting caught makes it easier for us to get caught so now we gotta fry you well dude the left the left is is good fellas

the left is good fellas. Yeah. The left is good fellas. It's a great time. On the surface, it's a great time. Everybody's laughing. Everybody's having a good time. Look how fun these fucking guys are, right?

Right. Look at this. Tommy's fucking up. He's our best friend. Kill him today. Yeah, that's it. That's it. He's out. He fucked up for us.

He's fucking up our money. You know? Yeah. The right is more like Gestapo tactics. Yeah, the right is... It's like, He's out. He fucked up for us. He's fucking up our money. You know? Yeah. The right is more like Gestapo tactics. Yeah. The right is... It's like, here's our wall. We live up in the fucking onion at the top of that tower.

You don't come up here. We're fucking not fun. Yeah. You know? And you can molest kids in a dress as long as you're not wearing makeup in a wig. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You notice that? As long as you don't wearing makeup in a wig. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You notice that? As long as you don't make it gay.

As long as you don't make it gay, you can do it in black dresses with priest collars all you want, but as long as you're not wearing makeup in a dress reading a story to them, that's the thing. I love that because that's the kind of, it shows a little hypocrisy. It also shows how, I mean, the Catholic Church has raped millions of children.

Raped them. That we know. Hard evidence. Is it millions? It's millions. It's got, France, the last report on France was 330,000 kids since the 70s. So you can only extrapolate out to millions. And who knows what's going on in countries where they don't got laws and shit, where the Catholic Church is big.

Oh, yeah. Who the hell knows? and shit where the Catholic Church is big. Oh, yeah. Who the hell knows? But I'm just saying there's hard evidence that they rape kids. And they get shuffled around, whatever. They've paid out a bunch of money. But there's no legislation to ban them.

But, you know, a couple of drag queens roll out some fucking story hours. And it's like they're trying to make every kid gay. I mean, the right is. The right is. And that doesn't go to say that I agree with fucking, you know, trans. I mean, I got to say it right. Look, I got to tiptoe around it, but I can call the Catholics whatever I want. I got no problem with drag story hour.

But drag and trans are two different things. I got no problem with trans story hour either. I got no problem with it either if the parents are all sad about it, but it being forced on the kids is a little weird. I've seen it live. I came across one. It felt forced and contrived. It's a nightclub act. about it but it being forced on the kids is a little weird i've seen it live i went inside i came across one it felt forced and contrived it's a nightclub act it's an you can ask any gay go to fire island it's a nightclub back it is sexually suggestive i wouldn't even want comedians around my kids that's yeah you think i want fucking joe de rosa to go perform at my child's school

at my child's school? I'd rather drag. I'd rather Tran Porn Hour. No, I think anything that's suggestive or inappropriate for kids, no matter whose mouth it's coming out of, is not appropriate for obvious reasons. But I was under the impression that the anger about Drag Story Hour

was just that it was drag queens doing Story Hour. I didn't know that there was any side to it that was innuendo or anything like that. You know what I mean? But, I mean, let's be honest, though. Let's be honest, though. There's plenty of straight traditional family movies that have tons of innuendo in them. Why is it there? So the parents can laugh because they've got to sit through this, too.

Why is it there? So the parents can laugh because they've got to sit through this too. You know, there's a joke in Problem Child that is so funny that I do a podcast, we'll see you in hell, and my partner Pat, it's movies, and my partner, you remember Problem Child. It was a family movie. And there's these two like lugs that show up to fix like their heater or something. And you see them through the peephole when they're ringing the doorbell. And the one guy starts to massage the other guy's shoulder. And he goes, not now, like that. And that's it. That's the whole joke. They don't explore it any further than that and it's so fucking funny and you're like that's there for the grown for the parents to enjoy them

you know and the scooby-doo live action movie when like it it cuts to shaggy and scooby in the in the man in the van and all the smoke's coming out of the windows. And everybody laughs, and then it cuts inside the van, and it's because they're cooking shit. Right. You know what I mean? Or it cuts inside the van, and Velma's playing with her pussy. Yeah, yeah. That's for the guys.

Yeah. You know, there's a joke in that movie where he meets a girl named Mary Jane, and that's one of the laughs. Right. It's like, that's nothing new. There's nothing new about innuendo or adult humor being

layered into children's programming. I don't see what the huge fucking deal is that it's happening live versus on tape or whatever. Who cares? My point is yeah, I don't know. I think you're actually set up real good. What's that? I'll tell you. I think you're set up really good. What do you mean?

I think you're set up well in this business. I think you don't give yourself enough credit because you're looking at other people. Everything I've always worried about, I always ended up winning. I always try to remind myself, like, it always works out, right? So, you... How long are we going to do this? You know, how long are we going to do this? Are you going to be on the road when you're 72? I'm assuming until I drop dead.

You're going to want to go to, like, Kalamazoo when you're 70? It's not a matter of wanting. It's like, what the fuck else am I going to do? Fucking sandwich king of New York! Yeah, look. Eight bucks!

For a fucking premium sandwich. Ten now. Ten, because of the fucking city's trying to fuck you in the ass, because they don't want small business to thrive. Exactly. That's what you told me. Yeah, I know. Yeah, it's true.

Jesus Christ, can you get your fucking municipal cock out of my friend's ass so he can move some fucking bologna across the counter? These fucks. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. But you got a successful sandwich shop bar. Yeah, look, if it takes off and I can retire on it, then great. But I'm not going to be able to retire on stand-up.

Well, why are we not thinking about franchising out? Trust me, I think about it. I need a job. I think about it every day. I'll watch one, yeah. But what are you going to do? I'm going to fucking work at Joey Rose's in Westchester. I can't.

I can't speak for your family. Yeah. I can only speak for mine. My family, there's not generational money. There is no hand-me-down money. Right. This is it, man. What I make is what I make, and what I can save is what I can save.

I make and what I can save is what I can save. And given what you need to retire these days, you know, I better get a couple mil in the bank quick, but I don't know how the fuck I'm going to do that. If you stop doing blow, how much would you save?

I got to stop buying records. If you grew up and stopped buying old records, if you got rid of the video games, you would save a lot. You'd save a lot of money. Yeah, but not retirement money. But also, too, I could look at it like this. I could drop fucking dead tomorrow, dude.

Right. We all know it's possible. We see it happen every day. How many comics have we lost? Do you have a will out there for all those fucking records? No. That would be a shame. No, but i'm serious though

how many comics have we lost how many guys have we seen go over over everything they have cancer that came from out of nowhere stroke drug overdose died in his sleep inexplicable all this shit not a lot i wouldn't say a lot that came out of nowhere. We have the worst lifestyles. We have mental illness problems. But the worst lifestyles and the unhealthiest habits and sort of a very lonely profession. Our habits are no worse than the average Americans. Is that so? No worse. You think a bunch of moms and dads living in the middle of Minnesota.

I think recreational work. That work in cubicles and shit like that or whatever the median job is out there. You think they're living healthier than comedians? Most of them, yes. Let's go over the ones that have died. It's always been like drug or food related

like math. And a lot of Americans do die of diabetes and shit like that. I mean, the ones off the top of my head, I'm thinking one of them, you know, God rest his soul, did a bunch of heroin for a long time. Who was that? Got AIDS. You know, was big.

Mike DiStefano, God rest his soul. Right. Patrice was big. Diabetes. Well, my point is, is like, I know more that went like Patrice in the sense of where it's like Robert Schimmel who beat cancer twice and then died in a car accident. Patrice, big guy. We never looked at Patrice like, dude, you better do something, man. You know what I mean?

And then all of a sudden he's gone. He was diabetic. Kevin Barnett. Kevin Barnett, drug overdose. I don't think it was, though. He took some bad, yeah, I think that was maybe a fentanyl thing. I don't think it was. I don't want to speak on it because I don't want to speak incorrectly.

Me neither. I don't know what happened. My point is, yeah, of course, of course, of course. Some of it's suicide. But my point is this, man. Who's course, of course. Some of it's suicide. Some of it's this. But my point is this, man, is like. Who's killed themselves? Brody.

Brody, yeah. That one freaks me out, suicide. Because I'm such a neurotic, I go like, am I going to want to kill myself at some point? I get scared. But then I'm told that that's a good thing, that you're scared that you'd. I hope that I. I mean, look, from where I stand now, I would hope that I wouldn that i wouldn't i have no idea though if i got to a place where have you ever had the thought and i'm not just talking after hearing a taylor swift song i've never um or watching my comedy show i've never

thought of yeah yeah uh no i've never thought about uh actively killing myself but i felt hopeless enough that i'm like what's who cares what's the point of living yeah like is that the only way to not feel bad is to be out that's a normal or like if i died right now nobody would care yeah or did you ever have the thing like i feel so bad that maybe that's the option to not feel bad or something like that i think a lot i've definitely gotten to a place before where I'll think, like, maybe I could just drink myself to death or something. You know what I mean?

But never active, like, I'm going to go kill myself. You know what I mean? I think a lot of smart, sensitive people have those thoughts a lot. I think the program, you take away addiction out of it. What I've realized is I think the world is made up of two different people, people who care and people don't. People who care and just people who don't.

That's what I've noticed. Generally, there's people who have empathy and people who really don't, who pretend to or whatever. They're just fucking operating for their own appetites. The people who are sensitive and care, they're going to experience a lot more depression and things like that.

They need each other. They need to be calling each other. They need to be doing that program thing. You feeling blue? Call me. Hey, man. Hey, Joe. I need to be calling you.

I'm feeling down. I got to be calling. Hey, Joe. I'm feeling down. And then, because I always feel better just talking to someone else who, you you know because really when people go through mental health problems where they get stuck is they think they're alone with it

and they're not alone with it someone's always willing to listen to you you just gotta reach out and call and Joe's number is I agree you could be having the worst I have days because I'm single you know, because I'm single. And, like, I'll have.

You got some fucking chick you're seeing. No, I don't. You don't have a chick you're seeing? No. There's never been a day on this earth that I've known Joe DeRosa that you've had a dry dick. No, I. Jesus Christ. I date, but, no, I'm not, like, seeing anybody.

I date, Jesus Christ. I date, but no, I'm not like seeing anybody. I date, you know, but like, but, but my point is, is, is, uh, you know, I live alone. So it's like, and I, and, and when you're dating, you don't call those people. You, that's not a daily call you make, you know, your, your call to them is what, you know, do you have anything about one of those fall alerts? I swear to God, dude, I do have worries that if I dropped dead in my apartment, who would know? Well, I had to joke in my first special where I said the

reason why you want to get in a relationship is so when you get older, you fall, and you will fall, someone's there to help you out. Yeah. That's basically what a marriage is about. You don't want to just end up alone on the basement stairs trying to convince the cat to tell a neighbor. Yeah.

No, I had a joke, too, about Jeffrey Dahmer and the smell. That's how people knew something was up. The point is, I'm afraid I'm going to die alone, and the only way they're going to know I'm dead is the smell coming from the apartment. That was the point I was getting at. Yeah. Meaning nobody's going to check getting at. Yeah, yeah. Meaning nobody's going to check on you? Dude, check.

I went through it in the joke about, like, how many days before, you know. By the time they know you're dead, it's been two weeks. Yeah, but you've got spots and shit. People are going to check to see if you're going to show up. I haven't done spots in the city since January. Me neither. But somebody will show up. I haven't done spots in the city since January. Me neither. But

once in a while I do. How about the bar? You'll get a call from Paul. You know, Giannis, it was a fucking joke. The thing wasn't meant to be literally broken down. I feel like we've lost our vibe here. My joke went over your head. I feel like you got upset when I said,

you're better than that. I was just joking with you. I just, we were not, it was one of those moments like the Ukraine and Russia where we just don't understand each other. I agree. By the way, Ukraine and Russia, go. Taste buds. I want to see that app. Can I come on and do Ukraine, Russia?

Yeah. No, no, no, no. You can come on. You can't do Ukraine, Russia. Why not Ukraine, Yeah. No, no, no, no. You can come on. You can't do Ukraine-Russia. Why not Ukraine-Russia? No, no, no, no. How about ketchup packets versus ketchup in a bottle?

In a bottle. No, dude, I mean, I don't know, man. Like, look, this is nice, right? We're relaxing. Yeah, we kick back a little bit. Yeah. Yeah.

What are you doing after this? We should go get fucking tuned up after this. What are you fucking... What else were you going to say? Go play pickleball? I know you. How long do you got until your spot? I don't know.

I'm in the city now. I got nowhere to go. We can hang. Yeah. You don't got to drive for like hours and hours, right? I don't have to drive, but you want to get tuned up? I'll have a couple of fucking plugs with you. You want to go have some plugs? Yeah. How long has it been since we've had some plugs? It's been a long time. Let's go have some plugs, but you want to get tuned up? I'll have a couple of fucking plugs with you. You want to go have some plugs?

Yeah. How long has it been since we've had some plugs? It's been a long time. Let's go have some plugs, dude. Yeah, I'll have a fucking, I'll throw them back with you. I got nowhere to go till later. I got nothing. But I'm not a big drinker.

I'll have, you know, a couple. Yeah, dude, I'm not saying let's go get sloshed. Yeah, where are we going to go? Where are we going to go? I don't know, let's be more specific for our national audience. This is fucking Valhalla out here, dude. What are you kidding me? You can go anywhere.

Well, not Midtown. We could bar hop down to the fucking stand, dude, like the old days. Like the old fucking days. Yeah, yeah, dude. I like it. I just started taking Ozempic, and I heard it takes away your want to drink. But I just started it yesterday. Yeah.

So I think I got to, this is it. I think I'm in the home stretch. Yeah. Like I got a couple more nights in me before this shit kicks in. You need to be the exception to the study. Yeah. So wait, did you take the Ozempic for what?

I'm trying to drop this last like 20 and I just can't do it. I think that's part of your body. I don't think you're gonna be able to lose that. You don't think so? No. Lose what? You're skinny as hell. I'm 20 overweight. I weigh 205.

I'm supposed to weigh 185. You weigh 285? 205. Jesus. I'm supposed to weigh 105. That's what I'm telling you. I only gain the fucking weight here, here, here. That's what I'm telling you.

The second I start to lose weight, this goes away because it's one of the only places I gain weight. It sucks. I gain weight. For my build, I gain weight in the worst way possible. If you stopped drinking, you'd probably just lose all your weight. I take breaks, and I have plenty of nights where I don't drink, and I have plenty of nights where I drink quite responsibly.

But, like, on those, my problem, this is why I started doing the OZemp. Because, did you just abbreviate the OZemp? I did, I did. Don't, you like an abbrev. Yeah, I do like an abbrev. Yeah, you like an abbreviation? I do like an abbreviation, yeah. But I'm telling you, dude, like, as a single guy, like, you know, you're not, you don't remember because it's been a while for you, dude.

You've been out of the fucking market for a while. for you, dude. You've been out of the fucking market for a while. You get bored and you get lonely and you eat things and drink things because of that. Because you're lonely? Dude, sometimes as a single dude, when you're married, you're

comfortable and that's when you eat because you're comfortable and you don't care. Then it's two ways. I think it's America is the problem. There's just food. We have too much fucking food. I think it's your wife is the problem. She's a fucking problem, and I need you to help me get rid of her. And these kids are an issue.

Now, what kind of a fucking pig country do we live in? It's disgusting. Has it become so disgusting? Dude, it's down the tube. There's two archetypes. There's just the fucking cunty coastal elite and the fat pig middle American. I'm so tired of people telling me that I got to either be Rosie O'Donnell or Tucker Carlson. I don't even hate on Rosie O'Donnell. I don't even hate on fucking dumb Tucker Carlson.

I'm just like, stop clumping me in. I got to be the view. Right. Or the guy that was so hardcore he got kicked off of Fox News. Like, I don't want, I just stop. Like, why? Jesus Christ, man. Dude, I go on Gutfeld.

Gutfeld's my boy. Yeah. Great. I'm going to go on Star. It's good for the career, right? It's a great show, yeah. Dude, I go on Gutfeld. Gutfeld's my boy. Yeah. Great. I'm going to go on Star. It's good for the career, right? It's a great show, yeah. It's great. I've known Gutfeld for 15, easily 15 years at this point.

We're buddies. We used to be neighbors. I like going on the show. I like Greg. I hang out with Greg sometimes, whatever. Like, I go on that show, dude. My liberal fans chastise me before I go on and when they see the clips and all that shit when I'm plugging it. And then I go on the show and I get called a libtard by everybody.

I'm like, what the fuck with this? Like, where is just... It's not the whole audience calling me libtard. It's just some. Yeah. But it's just like... And it's not my whole audience going, you're an asshole for going on Fox. Yeahard it's just some yeah but it's just like and it's not my whole audience going you're an asshole for going on fox yeah it's just some the problem is the silent majority

dude yeah it's the silent majority and we're part of it we're part of a silent majority we whether you whether i know you say your things out loud and i say my things out loud but we pick our spots and we do it carefully and why do we do it that way? Because I don't have the skin for the entanglements anymore. I just don't have it. It's not worth it to me to tweet opinions

I tweeted that I liked it, you know, I went hard on my opinion about the new Indiana Jones movie and how much I liked it. I got grief for that. It's exhausting. From who? Other 12-year-olds?

People writing back. Who's getting mad at that? Adults? Because I said, I did say, there's a lot of people that are saying this new one is worse than the last one, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. And I said, anybody that says this movie is worse than Crystal Skull is either a... Oh, God. Either an intent asshole or painfully vapid or something. I forget how I phrased it.

I don't remember. But I was saying, like, for you to say that, I always said you're either an intent asshole or a hapless moron. I was like, because for you to say that, you either have to be so blank that you don't understand movies, or you have to just be trying to stir up shit. It's just an insane statement to make from a quality standpoint.

people were just, you know, people were like, a lot of people were like, yeah, that's awesome. I'm glad you loved it, buddy. I loved it too. But there's still people being like, you know, you're condescending, and for you to say this, you know, people being like, you're condescending and for you to say this. I'm just like, Jesus Christ, guys, I'm talking about a fucking Indiana Jones movie. People get worked up on the internet.

It's their chance to be seen by you as well. That's why they go hard at you too. That's why I don't really buy all the time that anyone believes anything. I think it's like their first motivation is I want this to be big or seen. Right. And I don't like the opposite of that

either. There's an opposite of trolling, which is you know, the demigod God worshipper. It's, you know, you know there's the I like to call them Internet Messiahs oh yeah yeah I'm aside this is how you eat I'll save you but I'll get you out of the matrix but the person that the person that worships at that that's the opposite of troll there's people on your feed on

everybody's feed and again these are minority people these are these are blacks Mexicans no kidding this is these are minority people these are these are blacks mexicans no kidding this is these are small numbers you saw the eyes and you went with the joke yeah yeah yeah yeah there you go now that we're laughing again you're i i understand why you get it now i understand why you inject the humor in oh you see it now oh now you get it yeah well when the joke makes sense it's fun yeah yeah well that one would have made sense if you got it i still don't get it well we'll talk about it afterwards and we'll cut it out. It was one of those things where I said I was like, we're going to cut it out.

Okay. But like there's the, and these are minority percentages of people, but they're in your feeds, they're in my feeds, they're in everybody's feeds. There's the person going, yeah, really? Troll. Fucking, honestly, borderline personality disorder. The only way you know how to connect and get the attention you need is through being rude and being mean. And then there's the other person that's like, everything you say is truth and life. This is my everything. It's like, stop it. Stop it. It's not. It's not. And if you think that it is,

that's nuts. That's nuts. And you don't think it is. You've lost sight of what words mean. People have lost sight of what words mean. Do you think— The trolls and the worshipers, they've lost sight. Do you think it's because we don't have religion and there's going to be a big religious backlash coming, another revival coming that's going to wash over us? You're seeing it. Fucking baptizing us live on NBC. You're seeing it. You are seeing baptism by fire right now.

You are seeing it with the tribalism in this country, with the breakdowns of people, with these digital camps. These are people out in tents in the desert, metaphorically, with a person preaching to them and and saying like the the apocalypse is coming and if you don't do this this and this you will die and you will be you will not be forgiven and all you will not be saved and you're seeing it yeah you're seeing it look at the way people react to things not again it's not everybody but it's these tribal minds um the way people react to things they don't agree with you got you got people on the right saying you at all costs

you have to arm yourself to the teeth and they're going to take the country away and they're going to this and they're going to that and then you got people on the left saying anything you disagree with me you're a fucking nazi and you should be ostracized you know and it's it's like this is baptism by fire shit man this is this is old school you know old testament biblical biblical uh preacher shit yeah yeah this is i say this all the time dude i say this all the time people oh, it's the 60s all over again. I go, no, it's not. This is the fucking Dust Bowl, dude. This is crazy.

This is crazy. You are seeing crazy at a level when the last time we saw this level of crazy, people thought magic was still real, right? People were living out in fucking houses in the middle of fucking Oklahoma fucking fields by themselves. You know, they couldn't get the only way they got food was a cart came by every fucking 12 months or whatever. You know what I mean? Like, it's like this is dust bullshit, dude. You're seeing traveling fucking carnies right now. That's what you're seeing.

This is beyond Nixon and the hippies and all that shit. Way fucking beyond it. We're off the reservation. Gone, dude. Gone. Everything's out of whack. And it ain't getting better. It ain't getting better.

No. So how does someone just, if they want to take a break and they want to just get a nice sandwich for 10 bucks. Is this the end and we wrap it up? But let me say this too. Let me say this too. Let me say one more thing. Yeah.

The definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over and expecting a different outcome. Look at what just happened with threads. Everybody was on Twitter and Instagram saying, I'm going over to threads, everybody. I hope it's better over there. was on Twitter and Instagram saying, I'm going over to Threads, everybody. I hope it's better over there. It's like, how many times do you have to learn this lesson? It's not going to be.

It's going to be just as fucking bad. We all did it anyway. We're all expecting some new outcome from the same behavior. We're gone, dude. We're done. How could it be better? It's the same thing. Ceiling is too high, too many people, too much opportunity, too much prosperity.

It starts nice. Everyone tweets nice things, and then little by little, it's like- Too much noise. Humans ruin it. We're here to ruin it. I think in some way, we have to ruin things we build. Otherwise, what else are we have to ruin things we build. Otherwise, what else are we going to do? We're trapped on this goddamn ball. Because there's no way... That's an interesting thing, and I think at the core,

at their core, human beings do want to innovate and do want to build and do want to climb. And I think the only way you can do that is by eventually building so high you have to destroy and rebuild. And that's where we are now. You know, it's like a kid with sandcastles,

you know, or Legos. You know, remember you'd build these monstrosities with your Legos. You wouldn't keep them. What the fuck was the point of that? You'd destroy it and rebuild something new. So I think that's where we're at. We're about to destroy the Legos.

Yeah, it's interesting to think. That was a maniacal laugh. Yeah, dude, it's coming, dude. It's going to get fucking wild, dude. I think a big Christian revival is coming where they're going to start burning people and baptizing people. Oh, yeah, for sure. They're going to start enacting laws like, you know,

if you put a wig on you gotta you gotta you know work underground they're gonna really you know they're really pushing back now they're really that religious right is pushing back and we were in that sweet spot we were right in that sweet spot we're like i think it was like 70 or 80 of the country was okay with gay marriage everyone was the gays got all the right everything and then because they're human beings they kept pushing kept pushing and his girls are swimming you know trans women are swimming the guy that chick was a dude a year ago she comes and she swims they keep pushing because people can't stop they just want power no matter who they are gay straight trans

bi whatever color so you're not saying what you, what you're saying is not a commentary against or on gay people. It's just on the nature of the beast is what? Too much. Don't know. There's an old expression. That's why there's such hatred for the white. White has just become a common. It's like a pejorative.

You can just say it now. You're such a white guy. It you can just say it now. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, you know, like, like, or you're such a white guy. It's like a pejorative. Yeah. You could say it like, uh, don't be white. And that's not me going, Oh, the evil whites versus the, I'm just saying like, that's what it's, they it's, it's gotten to such a point there that as you said, it's now a pejorative. And unfortunately that is kind of becoming, I think we're all, I would say this too we're also in a weird transitional period which is never fun and it will be it will reset and it will if things do even out what will happen

is for instance with the trans issue is we'll live in a society where you can choose your gender, you can choose your sex. It will be indiscernible. Like if you're born the hokiest cis male, you'll be able to become the most effeminate presenting female ever. You know, like that, all of that will be so seamless that gender will mean absolutely nothing. And I think also that that will contribute to a society where the constructs of gender are gone. There won't be homophobia. There won't be these things like you'll look at a man or a woman or whatever and just go,

I'm attracted to that person or I'm not. And it will be a much better fucking place to live in. That takes the kinkiness out of it. But we got to get there. And we're in this transitional period where some people get it, some people don't, some people understand, some people don't. It's a rocky fucking road. And I think we might not get there because what you're saying, like,

there is such a backlash breakdown happening now. And I wouldn't be surprised if Christians, crazed Christians came back and started doing crazy. I wouldn't be surprised if we saw a literal religious war again. I just think. I really wouldn't. Yeah, I think they've lost all the regular people who didn't care because you're going like, you're watching the swim meet and you're going like, you're having people just talk and say, hey, this is normal. And you're going, wait, wasn't she a guy a year ago?

And they're like, yeah. And you're like, wasn't she a guy collegiate swimmer? It wasn't like some guy they pulled out of the rec park. Right. And then you're like, yeah. And then you're going like, well, that's not cool, right? And they're going, no, it's totally cool. Well, I think there's definitely missteps.

People go too far. Here's the thing. The hippies became hippies. Here's the thing. Yeah. I don't think. But here's the thing. I don't think most people go, ah, it's all good.

Don't worry about it. I think most people go, I'd like to have a discussion about this. That is this. We should talk about it. It's an interesting discussion. Where do we stand? The problem is the scum fucking media in this country who are allowed to run wild, run free under their bullshit guise of freedom of speech, which is nothing more to them than a shield so they can make as much fucking money as possible, so they can cause as much pain as possible, so they can create as much conflict as possible, so they can exploit as many people and as much hardship and as much violence and promote all of it and cause and inflate all of it as possible, are able

to be these voice boxes that are making people think this is where everybody is at. And the average person, whether you're a bleeding heart liberal or a hardcore conservative or somewhere in between or a Bible thumper or an atheist or somewhere in between, whatever it is, the average person does not have the time or interest to build a filtration system and utilize that system when processing the information that's being fed to them. Most people are too fucking tired they're too fucking old uh they're they're they're burnt they're worried about their fucking bank account they're worried about feeding their kids where their fucking record store is right okay you know i'm saying they're worried about shit man they don't they don't have time

and and the media is very fucking aware of that. And they capitalize on it because it's all been corporatized at this point. All of it. They're all connected to the lobbyists. These people are fucking terrorists, dude. Joe DeRosa, catch him on Taste Buds where you can find out interesting things like mayo or mustard. No. This is another side to Joe DeRosa.

This side's always been this is who i've always been this is who you are yeah i know i'm just saying it's very funny but am i wrong no you're not wrong and i'm gonna play the american i'm gonna play the national anthem under that i'm gonna play something other that was a fucking harangue and a half yeah no they're fucking terrorists dude they have no they're not they are there's no standard that they have to live live up to as far as what the truth is. And yeah, they do what commercials do. They tug at our heartstrings in order to get us riled up.

And they make you think. They make you think. It's no different than a Cialis commercial. They make you think that every conservative in this country wants to burn trans people at the stake. And that every trans person in this country wants to burn trans people at the stake. Yeah. And that every trans people, person in this country wants to take advantage of your children. It's fucking insane. And in the meantime, guess what?

We're all here in the middle going, I know, I know Republicans that don't think that way. I know liberals that don't think that way. I know trans people that don't think that way. I know gay people that don't think that way. Most people I know, no matter what their walk of life is, they're really fucking open

minded and we can have a conversation. The culture wars are irresistible to the news, to everyone. The culture wars are irresistible. They used, dude, they utilized COVID. They were like, this is it, dude. They scared the hell out of us. We're going to drive the last nail into the coffin. We are going to politicize COVID.

They did it. It was the final fucking straw. And it's gross, dude. And here we are. And people want to blame presidents, dude. Presidents don't have shit on what the media does to this country. They don't have shit. They've been caught, dude.

They've been caught rerunning footage from hospitals in Italy and everywhere else and saying it was a hospital in New York. They've been fucking caught. And they are in no way held accountable whatsoever. They get all of their content for free. They don't pay a fucking person that comes on their shows because it's all done under the guise of news and it's entertainment. It's fucking disgusting. That's a great point right there. They do get everything free

and people have the ball. People want to bitch about churches being tax exempt. Why don't you look at these fucking news stations? Pay me, Fox. And pay Joe DeRosa for going on Gutfeld. I love Gutfeld. Except for that!

I like Gutfeld because Gutfeld at least just goes, it's an entertainment show, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, but, and there's shows on CNN that I like, but it doesn't change the fact that they're under these, they're part of this net,

we're technically part of the media. Right. But it's- We shouldn't be. We shouldn't be. We shouldn't be. But you know what I mean. Yeah.

Yeah. Will you do a CNNnn or fox tice buds episode no fuck no why because i pick my spots with this shit and i voice my opinions when i think the forum is appropriate and that it will potentially benefit me to voice them meaning that maybe it will spark a good discussion i get it no i get it it's not a show for that but it's a fun show. But even beyond that, I like to talk about this stuff with you. I wouldn't tweet this stuff.

It's not worth it. I'm not inviting these fucking... I just want to think of the most inappropriate Taste Bud episodes. This is what everybody does. Oh, they do that? Yes, constantly to me. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

But congrats. Shit. Well, yeah. Thanks for making me feel like a fucking unoriginal hack. Oh, stop it. Does everyone do that? Everyone goes, do this, do that? Yeah, all the fucking time.

All right. All the time. All right. Well, write in yours. I want to hear some. It's fun. That's a fun kind of thing. Everybody makes the joke, uh-oh, DeRosa's here.

Are we talking about hot dogs or fucking sausages? You know? Yeah, it's constant. It's constant. Show's fun, though though you guys are fun great chemistry it's a great fucking pod thank you yeah and i love this show i love coming on this show i love having you i love fucking talking to you you got you riled up yeah well dude now we're gonna now we're gonna have a few pops that's the only thing you really care about what's that

that gets you going that's what motivates you a few drinks people are motivated by money some people are motivated by vagina. You're motivated by a fucking couple of zingers. A couple of liquid zingers. Is there anything better than going into a fucking bar in New York City? Yeah, yeah. Right away I can think of a few things. Late afternoon with one of your boys and sitting there and having a couple of whiskeys and just chopping it up.

Like really talking. No, it's good. That's classic, dude. It goes back to the fucking knights drinking mead after the battle, dude. I mean, it's like this is in our blood, dude. It's in our blood, yes. It's in your

Ottoman blood. I mean, Jesus did it at the last supper, dude. We're breaking bread here, dude. He did. You're my favorite Arab comedian. Thank you. Yeah. I'm the last one left. Me and Maj Jabrani are the only two left. There's a lot left.

There's a fucking... I think Ahmed Ahmed still doing it. I don't know. I haven't seen a lot of the... I don't think Dean Obedala does stand-up anymore. I think he just's still doing it. I don't know. I haven't seen a lot of the... I don't think Dean Obedala does stand-up anymore. I think he just does... Does politics. Yeah, like news radio and stuff. Yeah.

He was half-Sees anyway. But anyway, are you like... Do you ever promote the Arab side? No. No, because it's more like just genetics. You're Italian Philly. Yeah, I mean, I'm adopted by an Italian family and raised Italian. I mean, it's how I identify, honestly.

And the best adoption joke belongs to who? It belongs to you. Yes. It does belong. You want to know something? The best adoption joke ever told was told by Joe DeRosa. Thank you. And it's one of my favorite jokes.

Thank you. And you want me to say it? I don't care. I'm not going to say it. Yeah. Why? of my favorite jokes. Thank you. And it's, you want me to say it? I don't care. I'm not going to say it. Yeah. Why? You don't like it? No, it's just weird to be like, I'm going to tell my joke.

It's the best joke. I don't know. Yeah. I just don't want to chop it up. I said, I felt weird saying my thing that I said about threads. Like, like, like I was, like, it sounded like I was being like, listen to this funny thing I said. You know what I mean?

It was very funny. You pointed it out and then I was like, I don't think he's going to, I said it because I was very funny you pointed it out and i was like i don't think he's gonna i said it because i was like to give a con i was like we need context i get it because he's referencing but it was funny stuff he said people people always ask me do you want to go meet your birth parents and he goes no i kind of got the hint i pretty much took the hit i pretty much took the hit when they abandoned much took the hit. When they abandoned me. Yeah. Yeah.

It's great. Thank you, man. Yeah. That's an oldie. That's an oldie but a goodie. Yeah, it's an oldie but a goodie. And I think it's the best doctor joke ever. I should start whipping that out again. Yeah.

Fucking, you know. It's really funny. So go see you on tour, most importantly. Oh, yeah. Let me plug. When's this come out? This will come out on Sunday. Oh, yeah. Let me plug. When's this coming out? This will come out on Sunday. Oh, shit.

All right. So tour. I am going to be in. Go to Jodorowska.com for all my upcoming tour dates. But I got a lot of fun, awesome shows coming up in the fall. fun, awesome shows coming up in the fall. Avenal, New Jersey, at the Avenal Performing Arts Center,

Toronto for the JFL Fest, doing two or three big shows there. I got the TLA in Philly, November 11th, which is pretty awesome. I'm actually also, since this comes out Sunday, on Tuesday of this week, I'm announcing new dates in new cities that will also be added to this fall run. I'm really excited about this tour. I hope you come out.

It's my first step into these kind of larger venues, and it's an exciting time. And I'm doing this new hour called I Never Promised You a Rose Garden, where it's kind of one-man showy, but it's funny the whole way through and everything. And I promise, I think you'll enjoy it. I'll leave it at that. But anyway, it's very themed, and I'm really proud of it. So come out, please, and see the show. And then also, my band Salsa Windfall, the single came out Friday.

It's called Mouth on My Money. You can get that on all digital platforms. And the full album comes out on August 4th on all digital platforms. It's called Artificial Birth. Check it out. I hope you like it. The reaction's been really great so far. And then if you're in New York, come to Joey Rose's.

We're open seven days a week, 1130 a.m. every day. Get a sandwich, get a drink. It's a good time. Ten bucks quality. Quality. All right. Get a sandwich, get a drink. It's a good time. Ten bucks quality. Quality. All right. For Tom Hanks and John Stamos, this has been Full House. What's up?

Want to give a small business shout out to our business shout outs. They're businesses and they're small, but they may be big by now. And if I want to see some, I want to see like Shark Tank. I want to see numbers. I want to see numbers. I want to see sales because then maybe the price tag goes up. I want to see sales. Even though the YouTube numbers have gone down,

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