Yannis Pappas Hour - Tommy Terrific #21 in Lady Years

Episode Date: February 3, 2023

Yannis is fresh of an anxiety attack, pops a clonopin and gets right to exploring the beginning of Tom Brady’s new career as Tommy Terrific, 21 year old bachelor. This one is a little different and wild! Wasdadealis!Join for our weekly bonus episodehttps://www.patreon.com/yannispappashour See Yannis live Dates & Cities below All tickets: https://www.yannispappascomedy.comMadison, Wisc Feb 9-11Seattle (Tacoma) Feb 16-18 Chicago Feb 24-26Atlantic City March 3rdEmmaus Pa, March 4DC March 9-11Dallas March 16-18Springfield MO March 23-25Phoenix March March 30-4/1Stamford CT April 7,8Tampa April 21-22San Fran May 4-6Providence May 12-13Watch Yanni’s stand up special: https://youtu.be/ArlCFemEDvQJoin our highlights page for highlight clips of every episode: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwNew episodes every Friday and new bonus episodes every following Tuesday at Patreon.com/yannispappashour Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up, everybody? Before we get into this episode, whatever it may be, I am going to be as surprised as you are when it starts. Come see me live do stand-up. Come see me live do stand-up. It's a good time. It's a brand new hour I'm working on. People seem to be enjoying it. I'm enjoying crafting it. Just come on out to Madison, Wisconsin, February 9th through the 11th. Right? How about them apples? Then Tacoma, Washington. I'm coming out to you, Seattle, and I'm bringing a full bottle of antidepressants so I don't get sad.

What's it called? Seasonal affective disorder. Yeah. How do Russians, that's just called Russian in in russia um and then i'll be in chicago only a handful of tickets left for those shows they asked me to add a show i said no i'm not a piece of meat you're not gonna work me i'm not a fucking bottom line i'm a human being i'm not gonna just fucking continue to add shows I'm not a fucking pig pig pig

oink oink I value my mental health obviously I've been pushing myself to the limit as is so you get these fucking shows and that's it alright or else we teach like we do with like Andy Kaufman did with Tony Clifton

we just teach we put Jared in a, uh, in a wax face and he just goes out there and he just fucking, what's up? I'm Giannis. What's going on? You know,

there's problems on the right and the left. You know what it is? You know, keep it going, which, Hey, if I get huge and then I, something bad happens to me,

you guys got to keep it going. Oh yeah. You got to keep it going. Like you hey, if I get huge and then something bad happens to me, you guys got to keep it going. Oh, yeah. You got to keep it going. You got to put something on Jared. Get a wax thing. Yeah, I'm going to have to get eye surgery. You're going to have to pull your eyes together. So get those tickets in Chicago.

The great Jared Harvin will be with me for all of these. Atlantic City Comedy Club, March 3rd. Emmaus Theater, March 4th. What are we going to do during the day in Emmaus? Probably look at some place where they hit slaves. Yeah, I mean, if there's a little history. If it's cold outside in Emmaus, you're almost thankful because it gives you an extra excuse

to just watch television. Yeah. Arlington Draft House, March 9th through the 11th. That is the Washington, D.C. area. I just call it D.C. Arlington's three minutes over the bridge and it's gorgeous. You go past the Arlington Cemetery,

you come on over to the Draft House, you sit in a chair that's too comfortable. That club has, like, comfortable chairs. So if anyone falls asleep during my set, I don't blame them because they have, like, office chairs that are cushioned. It's like a cool little, it's like, it used to be, you know, it's like a draft house. Yeah.

You know, they do, like, the cool, comfortable seating. So, which is not great for comedy. You want people to be comfortable, but you don't want them to be like almost be able to lay down. True. You know, that's the problem. Don't want them to recline and fall asleep. Comedy's got like movies you can be totally reclined. Comedy has got to be somewhere in the middle.

It's always, comedy's about that tightrope walk. You don't want them uncomfortable because then they don't want to be there. You don't want them too comfortable because then their't want to be there. You don't want them too comfortable because then their rest takes precedence over your jokes. Yeah. Somewhere in the middle. Them wanting to take a nap

will always win out over hearing the next joke, no matter who it is. No matter who... How excited is anyone to see a comedian pass the first two minutes? You know?

We don't bring it out of people like that. You see Chris Rocky, like you get excited at the beginning and then his nerdy voice pops out and his skinny little frame that you want to throw into a ceiling fan starts and his teeth, his nerdy cartoon teeth come out and you're going like, this is a nerd in high school. Yeah.

It's one of Jeff Dunham's puppets. Yeah. It looks like a J does look like a Jeff Dunham puppet and people go, I didn't, I don't, he's a nerd in high school yeah it's one of jeff dunham's puppets yeah it looks like a j does look like a jeff dunham puppet and people go i didn't i don't he's a nerd it's a bunch of nerds i'm a nerd okay i'm a fucking nerd i'm a basically a greek all greeks are like male lesbians i'm an emotional wreck i'm like i'm like a emotional anxiety ridden you know and I was like handsomer when I was younger

but then the nerd really blossomed as my face grew around my eyes yep and now I look like a nerd nobody loves nerds you're a nerd

yeah yeah you're a fucking geek then we're going over to Dallas, Texas Yeah. You're a fucking geek. Then we're going over to Dallas, Texas. Okay? It's Plano, but same shit. It's in the area.

Plano, Addison, all the same shit. It's the same shit. Just say Dallas. Who gives a fuck? Nobody cares. Nobody's going like, oh, I'm... Nobody says, oh, now I'm not in Dallas. Anyone who lives in Plano is there to be close to Dallas. So just, it's Dallas.

Alright? Dallas, Texas March 16th through the 18th. Springfield, Missouri March 23rd through the 25th. The least excited I am for that. Springfield, Missouri. I hope the crowd is great. See, the problem is the shittier the place,

usually the better the comedy. So I'm the least excited to see, but the most excited to do the shows. Yes. So, you know, get out there. And then Phoenix, March 30th through April 1st. God, I'm getting the hotel buyout on that. Yeah.

And I'm going to give you the condo. Okay, nice. Yeah. I'm not sleeping give you the condo. Okay. Nice. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not sleeping. Um, you know, we're, we're Sam Morrell had a panic attack in that bed before me.

Yeah. Yeah. I saw Mark Norman's pee stain in the bed. Yeah. Comedy condos. It's fucking hilarious. All right. Then,

um, good club though. Love that club. Great club. Oh, rich Bronson's house of comedy and, uh, side splitters in Tampa, though. Love that club. Great club. Rich Bronson's House of Comedy. And Sidesplitters in Tampa, Florida. Nice.

That's going to be fun. Those shows are great. Crowds are great. Punchline, San Francisco, California, May 4th through the 6th. And Providence, Rhode Island, May 12th through the 13th. Get your tickets at yannispappascomedy.com. And remember to join the Patreon for bonus episodes, guys. Patreon.com slash janispapashour.

At this point, it's $1.25 a week for an excellent episode of content where I truly, truly don't think about any type of sponsorship, which is as free as I can be. It's free as a bird. If you want to see me streak down the aisles of sponsorship, which is as free as I can be. It's free as a bird. If you want to see me streak down the aisles of comedy,

if you want to see me streak naked, all right, with the boys, go to patreon.com slash Giannis Pappas Hour. It's basically, it's basically our OnlyFans. It's our OnlyFans, yes. Yeah.

So you never know what's going to happen. See you over there. Enjoy this episode. Down this purpose. Yeah. Here we go. What's up everybody, welcome to the Honest Pappas Hour, where we don't know, but we love to speculate. We don't know the facts, nobody can know.

Isn't that the best part of the culture, the commentary culture, is you can really just really shit on someone, and it has nothing to do with the truth. And this is a safe place for this because we don't mean no harm, although harm may happen, and your feelings may get hurt if we talk about you.

But we're just trying to use you to make people laugh. We're even worse. We're even worse. We want to use your plight. We want to use whatever's going wrong with you to try to make other people feel good because they're not going through something as hard as what you're going through. That's the point of what we're doing. The world is a little mean, and we don't try to avoid that. We accept it and we deliver you news-like content. But dare I say we make it up. Dare I say we don't know the facts. Dare I say we got a nice editorial retraction about the African kid showering in piss from last episode, that that was not a shower. It wasn't a shower.

Those kids were dyeing their hair. It was a bleaching session. It was more of a, it was more, believe it or not, it was more of, it was more of a vanity. True.

Happenstance. Yeah. It was a guy thinking about his looks, and he, I guess it's a hack. I think it's a life hack for if you want to, if you want to dye your hair blonde. Yeah.

You dye it with the ammonia of some animal's piss. Yeah, they don't got Just For Men over there. They don't have Sunnin'. Yeah. Remember Sunnin'? Yeah. It looked like a little sun tanning lotion bottle. Yeah, you get the-

And you spray it on your head. Yeah. They don't have that. So thank you for that editorial retraction. Now here's the thing. I didn't double check to make sure that that was true. I just saw two people commented it. So I figured since it was more than one,

it had to be an accurate editorial retraction. Probably, yeah. Did you follow up and find out if it was truly? I did the same thing that you did. You just assumed. I just assumed. Here's the deal. If more than one came out, I thought it was true.

Me too. It's kind of like the Bill Cosby thing. Yeah. Yeah, the more than one accuser, you go, it happened. Yeah. Yeah. You just assume. I just assume. Here's the deal. If more than one came out, I thought it was true. Me too. It's kind of like the Bill Cosby thing. Yeah. Yeah, the more than one accuser, you go, it happened. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I'm not sticking around long enough to know if it happened or not. We stick and move.

If two people say it's true, guess what? It's true. Yeah, with the Floyd Mayweather podcast. Yeah. In what way? We stick and move. Stick and move, baby. Stick and move.

We do the Philly show for boxing fans. Stick and move, baby. Stick and move. We do the Philly shell? For boxing fans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So Tom Brady is retiring. He is retiring. And before the podcast started, we were speculating on who was right and who was wrong. I loved watching Divorce Court with Jared Harvin and Jesse Scaturo.

Yeah. Well, you were representing Giselle, the Brazilian 40-year-old supermodel. Is she 40 yet? Must be. Do you lose your title of super in front of the model when you turn 40? You can't continue to be a supermodel at 40.

Yeah, you got to get a devotion or something. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, just because she's retired from being a super hot doesn't mean he should be retired from being a professional football player. I think that's why she pressured her. She's like, I want to both be former super.

He was a superstar. She was a supermodel. Her super status got taken first. Her super status for looks. What a talent. What a talented status for looks. What a talent. What a talented lady. Yeah. What a talented lady, born with genetics.

There must be something that God wants or nature wants us to bang hot dumb chicks because why does he make them so hot? Plentiful. Yeah, so plentiful. Yeah. 42. Huh? She's 42.

42. So you got to revoke supermodel at that point. You can't have Versace heels with gout. I think you revert back to, I think you revert, right, back to, I think you revert back to part-time, former. You got to plus, there's got to be a plus size for age. Yeah, it's an asterisk next to supermodel. It's got to be like a, you don't want to be mean, right?

Plus size is like the politically correct way to say a fat bitch on a runway. Yeah. So we got to find a politically correct way to refer to a geriatric bitch on a highway, on a runway. So what would it be? You know, seniors too derogatory. What would you call her? The same way a plus-size model. Mature.

Mature. Mature still has a little sting to it. Seasoned supermodel. Seasoned. Seasoned supermodel. Yeah. SSP. Seasoned supermodel.

That's a good one. She's a seasoned Brazilian model. Been in the game a little bit. Thrown up a few times to make weight. Nobody likes to make weight more than a wrestler or a supermodel. They got a lot in common. They could make out with no enamel on their teeth, that fucking acid breath,

and they would cancel each other out. fucking acid breath and they would cancel each other out it's it's it should you should see more people who have things in common together more and sometimes it takes a person like me to bring that to their attention that these are two groups that have a lot in common they both need to make weight yeah they both sometimes need to throw up food in order to make weight yeah that's going to burn the enamel off your teeth and it's going to make your trachea all ripped up. They should just go on dates

and just cancel each other out. And argue who's going to have the last slice of ice. Yeah. And bulimics. And just good run-of-the-mill talentless bulimics should be going after supermodels.

If they're male, there are some male bulimics. Yeah. Male lesbians. There'simics Yeah Male lesbians There's a lot of male lesbians out there And I'm one of them I don't know why that hasn't catch on As like a

A funny thing to call a guy A guy with feelings That's a real Sean Tyree kind of This guy's a fucking male You know This guy's I mean what can you This is I mean, what can you do? He's a fucking, this is my boy Mikey.

He's a, what can you do? He's got feelings. So seven-time Super Bowl champion. And the most famous cleft chin in business. Kid looks like someone fucking threw a dart at a dartboard at a drunk night in Boston and it missed. Looked like Aaron Hernandez.

Got a little too excited one night after a victory. And missed the dartboard. And just poked him right in the goddamn chin. You think when he sweats a little pool of sweat just happens right there? Yeah.

And a gnat wants to dive into it? Oh, yeah, it probably stinks like a belly button. Stinks like a belly button in that little fucking cleft chin. You think a gnat wants to seize that and goes, I want to take a sauna in that little... It's like, that looks like a big sauna for a gnat. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, it must fill up with sweat. A little tide pool. Yeah. He's got a fucking weird head. I've noticed in his last retirement video, he's got a long head. You know, he's past his good-looking stage. Everyone's got a hot period.

Have you noticed that? Yeah. You're entering yours. Who knows how long it lasts. It doesn't last forever. It doesn't last forever. People's ears keep growing. Their nose keeps growing.

The hot phase doesn't last. Some people bloom later. Some people bloom earlier. I bloomed earlier. And all I do is struggle to get some glimpse of it back. Because I was a hottie patottie in high school. Yeah. i was a hottie patati in high school yeah i was a hottie patati everything was skinner so when this is skinnier this kind of comes out yeah the eyes kind of just match a little better right so i was just i had fuller hair i was a hottie patati. And then I started eating a lot.

And my metabolism slowed down. And I just became decent looking from certain angles. You packed on pounds, dog. You were skinny back in the day. I'm down to 207. Now your body looks like it's fully prepared for winter all the time. Absolutely. I look like I'm wearing

a martial on a plane all the time with a bulletproof vest on. But I've lost a lot of weight. I'm down 12 pounds. The fans are noticing, too. I saw some of the comments. The jawline's coming back. We're on our way up. I'm fucking running up those rocky steps.

I'm fucking running up those rocky steps. How funny is it that he did that movie in heels? Can we just take a second to appreciate how funny insecure short guys are? Short guys are funny. I saw a fucking midget today at Sunset Park all about his business on a stroll. And he was just, he was going somewhere, dog. And I think it was to C-Town. But he was determined.

But, you know, he had a young little person walk, whatever. Midget, Lydia, little guy. Lola, a little guy. Yeah. And, you know, they're not insecure about their height. They accept it. You know? I mean, they're insecure about their height. They accept it, you know? I mean, they're insecure about their height, but there's nothing they can do about it.

So you got to make the best out of life. Yeah, I mean, dude, you just can't. Napoleon was a little guy, but he got people to follow him. But you can't, as a little person, they'll never be a little person president, even if they're genius. Maybe that's where we're making our mistake. That is a good idea. There is hidden things in the code that we have to kind of get over our biases

to unlock. That'll help humanity. That might be one of them. Or like the women born with two heads. Like those girls should be president. It's a joke of mine, but like, go watch it in blowing the light. You're true. Like who better to understand how to compromise and get things done.

It's true. You know, then two people share the same body. Yeah. I make brilliant points. Then they're jokes. And it's just, it's a really sad what I call them brilliant points. No, that is brilliant. But it is a funny thing. It's a sad what I call them brilliant points. No, it is brilliant. But it is a funny thing.

It's a funny joke. My guy who does my clips, I'm talking to you. We got to make that a clip and make it clean and nice, you know, about the fucking next president, who should be the next president. Yeah. There's probably codes to be unlocked here and there, you know. who should be the next president. There's probably codes to be unlocked here and there.

So being a quarterback unlocked his quest for greatness. We got to watch something. It's cool to watch greatness because it lets you know I'm not great. So it solves that real quick for you. That's the best part. And I'm not talking about hyped-up greatness by the industry, by nepotism. That's what's great about sports. Sports show us people who we know, as people who've played sports and as sports fans,

we know we just watched greatness somebody overcome obstacles train go through so much pain to train to get there and sacrifice and beat other men who are trying to beat them yeah which is like that's even crazy to even want to do that and when you be confrontational is is crazy like i love I'm not even confrontational. If someone's like, hey, man, are you looking at me? I'm like, no, I'm not. I'm sorry. I don't even want to compete with you there.

But these guys go out there and smash their bodies into each other. And then there's one guy standing. There's one guy standing with a divorced wife who was pregnant when he left her. There's a little destruction in its wake. Greatness doesn't become greatness without a little destruction in the wake. Okay, there's a couple broken eggs in that wastebasket next to that beautiful omelet that now has mushrooms and onions and... Chlorophyll, they're judging by his face.

Yeah, Brazilian seasoned models in there. Who are you kidding? Look, he maybe even did the last season to get rid of Gisele. He's still Tommy Terrific. He's Tommy Terrific. He's coming off another season where he's still one of the best quarterbacks. He's still

young looking. He's 47, dog. He's 47. Which is young for Floyd. He's 46. Yeah. I mean, he's a 46-year-old man. Look, I hate that the rules are just different. What do you want from me? You're going to get mad at me because the rules are different for men and women?

You know what a 47-year-old man is? I'll tell you what it is. In dog years, women years, and then something else years. A 46-year-old man in women years is a 21-year-old woman. 21-year-old woman. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I'm here in lack of vino veritas. I'm here to just tell you the truth. Ladies know it, too. I'm not saying anything they don't know.

So how do you lock yourself down if your nickname is Tommy Terrific at 46, knowing that you got an out, knowing that you can afford to support these bitches. A big motivation for not getting a divorce is like, oh, my God. How am I going to see the kids? Where am I going to get my house? How am I going to afford to pay this bitch the money she needs? But he's in a great position.

She apparently makes more money than him, although I don't know how. I don't know how. I don't know how. Did she start some fashion brand or something? There's a lot of freaks in the world, dog. No. Let's see her body. She's not making money off that anymore. No, I don't think so.

She's like legit. Tom Brady's not going to marry no fucking... Tom Brady's got class. Yeah. He wears turtlenecks and shit. Yeah. He's not doing any of that OnlyFan model. That's not...

That's a Dennis Rodman kind of, you'll see Julian Edelman, Gronk, they'll be with a, although Gronk's been with a classy lady for a long time. He's been with the same girlfriend. I met her. I met her. She followed me on Twitter

and then she unfollowed me on Twitter. And they've been together a long time. Gronk picked me up like I was a girl. I remember that. Yeahronk picked me up like I was a girl. I remember that. Yeah, he picked me up like I was a girl. People don't understand how big these guys' hands are and how mutant-like they are. When you see Gronk, he's a massive man.

Yeah, he picked you up like a bag of groceries. Even Michael Strahan, when I met Michael Strahan a few times and talked to him, I interviewed him, I've had a good life. True. I've had a decent life meeting these. And when you meet athletes, it means more because these guys are actually great.

They don't play dress up for a living. They go out there and they compete as men. They don't go out there and do fucking Shakespeare monologues. No offense, Jared. I'm impressed, but I'm not that impressed. I'd be more impressed if you won an Oneonta Intramural Basketball Championship.

Yes. $375 million the kid has. This is what he's going to make. Holy shit. That is $374.99999 more dollars than Jared Harvard has right now. He's doing the math. And that is $3.754 million minus a couple hundred thousand

that I have right now. He's stepping right into this. And we can't even do yours because you don't measure money as your monetary system you respect. Yeah. You do some sort of bar system with free art. You measure money as the amount of compliments

that you got in a day. Yeah. You give the coffee shop a free piece of finger painting and they give you a coffee. Dude, look at this. He's stepping right into the announcer's booth next year. With that face. I mean, Tommy, terrific.

You know that deal's going to be. So his announcer deal is 3.75. He doesn't have to be. 375 million. 375 million post-career. That's his next job. He's got the next 10 years all. First of all, let me say something earnest for a second.

Hats off to his passion for football. Didn't need to do that. Obviously loves competing and winning in his video, which we'll show in a second. He choked up. He obviously had love for the game, right? So hats off to just that, like a guy who just still wants to keep going. Tom Brady is my age, dog. He's essentially my age and he's competing at the highest level of a sport at the highest level in that sport still it's pretty crazy what him and lebron james have done now i don't know what kind of mutant fucking juice they're shooting them up with we'll probably find

that out and it'll disappoint us later because then you'll be like, oh, that it's not as amazing as we thought. But if they're not, this is nuts. A football is a violent game. He's 46. He's a 46-year-old man. That would be like me still being a professional athlete. I haven't picked up a basketball and played a five on five game since maybe I was 35. And before I did that, maybe 30, I hung up my God damn shit streaked, sweaty, fruit of the loom underwears underneath a pair of discount, no name, basketball shorts, down at fucking 51 courts in Park Slope, Brooklyn, a long time ago. And I loved it. Yeah, you got out of there.

It was my life, dude. And then you replaced that passion for basketball for Chabot and Brett. I replaced that passion for basketball, I truly believe, with horrific anxiety attacks. Yeah. You know? Because at least that was something. And, you know, you can't get back into basketball because the injuries,

it's just a game where you get injured too much. I'm not into that. So I hate golf. You're missing out. You're missing out. I think I'm going to do competitive dancing. I signed up for a krav magra class and i still haven't gone well i just sent these people 250 and they keep texting me i've become

personal i have like a personal text relationship with one of the women who runs it because she's like are you available now and i'm like no i gotta do this because right now i'm renovating everything i'm putting so much on my goddamn plate that i had to pop a klonopid to do this. Because right now I'm renovating everything. I'm putting so much on my goddamn plate that I had to pop a clown up to do this episode. And boy, did it work. So, shit. But I think he's leaving his hot stage right now. Pull up his, pull up, he had a real nice hot stage where he was like,

look, yeah, I think the hot stage is ending. He's got a long, he's starting, he has like a Frankenstein head. You know, Adams in the family. What's the guy Adams in the family, Lurch? He's got a Lurch head. I mean, I never knew the kids fucking had a Cro-Magnum head like that. After putting on a football helmet For that many years It kind of shaped his head

Let's take a peek Hold on Did you watch it? No I watched it It's real short and sweet It would be funny at the end If he just went

It would be really funny At the end If But at the end he goes I love, it would be really funny at the end. But at the end he goes, I love y'all. And then he went, Trump 2024. That would have been. He's a guy who loved Trump, but his wife said he can't say it. Him, Dana White, they all hang out.

Yeah, that was his real QB sneak. Yeah. Good morning, guys. I'll get to the point right away. I'm retiring for good. I know the process was a pretty big deal last time, so when I woke up this morning, I figured I'd just press record and let you guys know first, so I won't be long-winded. You only get one super emotional retirement essay, and I used mine up last year. He gets choked up right here.

I really thank you guys so much to every single one of you for supporting me. My family, my friends, my teammates, my competitors. I could go on forever. There's too many. Thank you guys for allowing me to live my absolute dream. I wouldn't change a thing. Love you all. It's nice, though.

It's very funny to watch him crying on what's probably a million-dollar beachfront. You hear him crying in the background you go you want another pia colada mr brady yeah there is a purity to this that i'd like to acknowledge there's a purity to it that i'd like to acknowledge that i don't think yeah i like having just a quick earnest moment and then we'll we'll rip them to shreds he's he's entering in the 375 million dollar next job he's he's got endorsement deals out to yang he's got his td12 brand uh a tb12 brand now um he's got it all man but like he cares about football you could see that he cared about his career. So all that stuff that he has came from that genuine passion

that he had for football. These are and should be kids' heroes across the board in all fields. It's the guys who are not propped up to sell you things in institutions. It's like they did it because they loved it. Whether they got paid or they didn it because they loved it. True. Whether they got paid or they didn't, they'd be out there. He was a competitor. He wanted to win.

He represented the sport well. He cares. You could take all the money from him. It didn't matter. You could tell in that emotion that it was about football. You know, his retirement, and there's a lot of other athletes' retirements that are a lot different, you know? Like, I bet you Coutinho Mobley's, you know, retirement was just like,

hey, man, yeah, come over to my new car dealership as soon as this is over. Like, he loved basketball, but it's like something, these are heroes, man. They're warrior poets, and they're great examples for kids that, like, you work for it. It doesn't get given to you. You work for it, you know? Like an animal, like an obsessed animal. Yep. And then you get the money, and then, you know,

you remember when the era switched between Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley getting their big endorsement deals like six years into the league you know of course you're going well the owners all these companies got the money they can be given it but there was something to that like where my the endorsements and sponsorships came as a sure thing to guys that produced who actually created a body of work and then it's and then it changed and that could have been the beginning of all this falling to shit lowering standard kind of american culture marketing starting to become prevalent yeah is when sebastian telfer got his nine million dollar adidas deal they started giving deals to guys as soon as they got in the league.

Shoe deal, immediately. LaMelo, it's like, boom. Now look, LaMelo had a great first season or whatever. No superstar yet. Now, yeah, it's marketing. It's like inflation. It becomes inflation because these business guys get in and they go, money, money, money, money, money.

Potential, potential. Pay them on potential. Get it going. We can get in there. go, money, money, money, money, money. Potential, potential. Pay them on potential. Get it going. We can get in there. We can pressure them now. We don't want to. They make the sale. They go, you don't want to miss it.

You don't want to miss out when he becomes. And people go, I don't want to miss out and become. So you give Lomelo fucking whatever he got. And I got a guy, you know, he's getting hurt every fucking three games now. You know, you remember the Clippers team? They were touted. They got all those endorsements. They all stunk Darius Miles and the shooter,

Q, Q Richardson. I mean, they all stink. They all ended up stinking because there's more to becoming great than potential or talent. It just is. He's a second-round pick. Steph Curry, you know, mid-major, overlooked.

Was he a lottery? Eighth? He didn't go top five. I don't think so. No, he wasn't top five. Klay Thompson, you know, late first round, right? Second round. Green. I was going Second round. Green.

I was going to say A.C. Green. The nerdy virgin A.C. Green. Steph was seventh. Seventh. He went seventh. I'm close. You know, but he came from a mid-major. Nobody wanted him until then.

You know, and then Draymond Green was the second round draft pick. You know? So it's like, what are we teaching kids anymore? You know, like, what is it? Is it like your potential? Because if you reward the kids as soon as they come in, why are they going to work to become as good as these guys? That's why no one likes participation trophies,

because it just rewards you for participating. Yeah, you're in the league. Good for you. You got your rookie contract. Good for you. You're rich. You just rewards you for participating. Yeah, you're in the league. Good for you. You got your rookie contract. Good for you. You're rich. You got to work for it. But why the fuck are these sponsors and companies just flooding them on potential?

Because, you know, I think what happened is maybe they think the kids don't care, and maybe they don't because it's all like, who's cool? Hype. Yeah, it's like hype and cool, but it doesn't really have to. This is an important moment because he represents another era. You know, it's like an era of grit, of accomplishment. He's accomplished. He's got things in the rearview mirror.

He's got sports moments that we can look back on and go like, holy shit. His will and his passion elevated a team. And it's like watching war heroics. It's like watching things that fables become made out of. You know, when the great, he became the Goliath, and giants were David, and they slayed the Goliath in the most, you know, amazing fashion. But he was the Goliath that was slayed. Yeah.

So you had to play, in order to slay him, you had to play, you had to have a miracle happen. You had to have David Tyree catch a football on his helmet. And to happen from a guy who like, who's David Kyrie? You know? Might as well have been Bobby Hurley's brother playing receiver. Okay, these are for the guys out there. A little sports fan talk never hurt anybody.

I'm not shying away from it. Right? Might as well have been LeBron James' other son who caught the ball. Who's not being pressured into playing with his father so his father can be happy for at least one game or season. Not all of them are going to get the genes. There's going to

be a few fucking guys there. There's going to be a few Chet Hanks' in the LeBron family. Who become workout internet personalities. And that's a talent too but they ain't gonna be a bunch of bronnies bronnie we only got one prospect in the lebron household right no his other brother might be better than him actually so two yeah michael jordan had zero because you

know why michael jordan probably crushed their dreams immediately yeah they go hey you want i want to be he goes he could probably just, you'll never be as good as me. Nobody will ever beat me. Come out and play one-on-one. And he probably just started dunking all over his seven-year-olds until they cried because he's an absolute

psychopath-rictelian. He's a reptilian psychopath. And Michael Jordan does not care. He won't let his own son beat him. Never. Yeah. Never. Not. Never. Not a nothing.

Tic-tac-toe, nothing. Oh, imagine the nightmare would be to be married to him. Your wife makes eggs. She's like, how's the eggs? And he's like, they're okay. They're all right. They're not as good as my eggs. And you're like, come on, Michael.

He goes, no, let me show you. Let me get eggs. And hello, let me get my boys over here. We'll judge. We'll make a judge contest of whose eggs. And I'll bet you $50 million. I'll you your the money that i give you for your purses that mine is better and you're going like this is our day now we're wrapped up in michael jordan's competitive need to win everything he was a psycho like that yeah like he was a full-blown psycho

the jordan rules touches upon that like even in the in the documentary the guy the security guards rolling dice and then he's got to get in there and then the ping pong and then he what he didn't sleep that night and he practiced ping pong and in the morning he wakes up and he's like I watched this clip of his teammates are going like the dude didn't sleep man he'd be first in the gym and then like something like that he'd be like Michael when did you find time to get good something like that, he'd be like, Michael, when did you find time to get good at ping pong? And he's just like,

well, you gave me a reason because I have to dominate you in every single aspect of what gets me feeling competitive. I took that personally, you know? I took it personally. Yeah, I mean, it's just fun that he's a full-blown asshole.

Me and Jared found a clip of him. He has a garage in Charlotte and we passed it. Yeah. Where he's a full blown asshole. Me and Jared found a clip of him. He has a garage in Charlotte and we passed it where he's got some of his cars and the gate was open in the video. And these kids saw him. It's two little kids are by themselves. I mean, it's Michael Jordan. You know,

it's almost like seeing a God. He's, he's God-like. He's like, these are the ancient Greeks used to make statues out of guys like this. He's like the david he's like michelangelo's the david like he's a warrior it's in his face it's in his presence in his aura i mean he's just magic dude if he wasn't david he'd get mad at michelangelo for making his dick so small yeah he would he would be upset about that he would be he would be irate about that And then he would learn how to sculpt and sculpt himself better than Michelangelo.

He would be irate about that. But he's just got a vibe about him. He doesn't have to try. Like, everyone just started imitating him because of the vibe. He was a Bama from North Carolina. He didn't have no fucking style you see this the awful suits he used to wear those big ass fucking paula poundstone uh shoulder pads and the double breasted 90s suits he he was not a great dresser no he was he's a bama He's a Southern Bama from North Carolina with no style.

But somehow his aura influenced the entire world to imitate him. I mean, a little bit of it was the era of those big-ass suits. True, but yeah. But even now he still doesn't dress good. He wears slacks and golf shoes. He's a Bama. He's not from New York. He's not from New York. He's not a New York kid who's thinking about style.

But somehow his aura, my point is, became the most fashionable thing for guys now. His sneakers, like his shorts, when he changed his shorts from short to long, everything. People started walking like him, acting like him, because he was a warrior. And he's an absolute dick. So these children, they see the videos, they see Michael.

And they're like, oh my God, like imagine being a kid. It's like you can hear the Steven Spielberg music playing in the background. It's like E.T. music. Like you can feel the moment this is doing for your childhood. It's you're seeing a legend. I remember when Don Mattingly looked at me when I went to Yankee Stadium. I felt touched by God. Yeah.

Did he say anything? I claim he gave me the thumbs up. Ched says I made, my friend Ched says I made that up. Oh, okay. But I pushed Ched out of the way to get him to sign my glove. And then I put nail polish over his signature for years because that's how you prolong it.

But I lost it somehow. I really wish I still had it. Don Mattingly's fucking, that would be great. I wish you did. But he signed my glove. You probably still have the nail polish though. Yeah, isn't it funny too?

I'm a man in my 40s and I meant what I said. I wish I still had that autograph. It would mean something to me. I'm a man in my 40s, and I meant what I said. I wish I still had that autograph. It would mean something to me. I'm a grown man. That's how magical sports are. It's like you're watching civilized war. You're watching men compete, like, complete tasks that are nearly impossible.

The skill level's off the charts. And this is a hero for people. Guys like sports, he's a hero. You can play that video, Jesse. Global icon. So I remember when we saw this parking lot, it was pretty exciting to be like, that is Jordan's parking lot.

Yeah. One of his parking lots. These are all his cars. And he just rejected those kids. Yeah. I mean, you know, rich people are funny, dude. It's like, if I become rich, I think I'm going to become kinder.

I just, this doesn't do it for me. I'm not, I don't think I'm going, and maybe that's why I've never become rich. Because you got to, do you have to, like, how many fucking cars do you need? I mean, look at this shit. And this is like one of his many, you know, Seinfeld has like a whole building of cars. It's like, what are you doing with all these fucking cars? I like it. Who gives a fuck?

Do something more meaningful than just getting in a car. Yeah. That's where I agree with the commies. And I say the commies should come in and take his fucking cars. And be like, what's the, why? Be like, here's why. Because it's annoying. You're annoying.

Your arrogance is annoying. Larry David wrote your show. Dude, I watched Curb Your Enthusiasm on the plane. It is the funniest show that's ever existed. That and South Park. I will go, and of course Seinfeld's up there, but because of Larry David. I mean, Park. I will go. And, of course, Seinfeld's up there. But because of Larry David. I mean, Larry David's still going.

So what was it? Eight years of Seinfeld or whatever. And then now, what is it? 20? I mean, how long has. And it's still funny. I'd agree with that. And now he's got J.B. Smooth.

He's evolved it. Like, it keeps changing. And, like, I couldn't believe it was still that funny. That shit came out in like 2000. Is it 20 years, Larry David show? I think he's 11 seasons. 11 seasons? 11, 12 seasons.

Because he took some time off, right? Yeah, yeah, he takes a lot of time off. You know, fucking Seinfeld's arrogance bothers me. Comedian's arrogance bothers me. It really does. We're supposed to be men of the people. 2000, yeah. Yeah.

But listen, when I get a couple milli, we'll make an episode about how this was all a lie because I'm now that. Yeah. I'm all now don't look at me, don't make eye contact with me. Where's my hundredth car? You won't be even looking at the camera. Yeah.

It's what it is. It's funny when comedians get big because we're insecure, crazy, narcissistic underdogs. And then Jay Leto is famous. We tell you all that so you could like us, but then when we reach that level, all that shit just changes. Yeah, and I think that's why a lot of these guys, it's just like, we're not meant to be famous people.

Like, we don't have that in us, you know? Like, true comedians are always like, you know, I'm thinking too much. I'm sensitive. I don't want to, you know, look at Jay Leno in school. How many girls do you think we're into? Like, what's going on? What's going on?

What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? What's going on? This fucking shit is coming out. He looks like McDonald's half moon. And how many girls do you think we're into?

This fucking guy. Schleppy Jew from Long Island. With a high voice. Guys, gather around and look at my stamp collection. He had a stamp collection or coin collection. He was a fucking nerdo.

I mean, Nate Bargatze played Christian basketball on carpeted floor. Yeah, that's... Now he looks like a hot patati. Somebody who peaked later, because before, Nate Bargatze looked like the most handsome kid with Down syndrome

that Down syndrome people have ever had. Yeah. He looked like just the Tom Cruise of people who had Down syndrome. He looked like he's staring at a picture. Old picture. I mean, look at the old picture. He almost looks like he beat it a little bit somehow.

Before he got skinny and hot, he looked like he's like a touch of Downs in his face. There's also a touch of Downs in his comedy, to be honest with you. He's like, I don't know what's going on. Because he comes from a touch of Downsy kind of situation. And fortunate for him, this country has a huge touch-of-downs. There's nothing more to this country that they don't love is a little touch-of-downs.

There, he looks like the handsomest retarded kid. He looks like he can stare at a jar of toothpicks and tell you how much they're in. I mean, he looks like if he shows up, if the van pops up at activities night as Applebee's, I mean, the ladies have showered for this dinner. They're going,

Nate's here. I mean, look at, he looked, you see it, right, Jesse? Yeah. There's even pictures more with his hat on. And then look at how he came out of that. I mean, now he's just hot. Always been super funny.

But now he's, look, he's a good-looking guy now. He's good-looking. Yeah. A blazer could do you well and a beard. But before, he looked like he had a whistle in his pocket. He got his diet right. And he's killing himself on the road with his tour schedule. But Nate's the best.

He's achieved his dreams. And he's doing great. You got a piss, Jared? Well, you know, you can't, right in the middle of the episode, you know, you just got to, you got to lose your eye. You got to, you got to lose your eye. You have to lose your eye. He's on the cover of Variety. He's been on a few times.

America's Comic. That one was when we were in Montreal. That was a real flex. That was really nice. I was happy for him. He's a psycho like that, and he likes that. So he knew that all the industry was up in Montreal and the varieties that were

going around had his face on it. He fucking loved it. He's a competitive guy. And a funny one. He has a new special out right now. Go watch Nate's special. It's on Amazon

Prime. It just came out. One of the funniest, funniest, pure funniest guys. I came up with Nate. We were friends for a long time. We don't see each other that much anymore. He lives in Nashville. But just a guy you always knew was going to be a star one way or the other. You know, it was just going to happen one way or the other.

He was going to figure it out. He's smart in his dumb way, and he's also extremely talented as far as comedic timing and funny. And then, of course, if you're brave enough to do it and you're persistent enough to get better and you're born with the talent and it's it's inevitable at some level you get some level of success which is fine yeah it all feels the same

it really does you know yeah it feels the same being successful is like having sex with a woman in bangkok in what way because no matter man or woman, it feels the same. I like that, actually. I like that. You didn't have faith in me on that one. I really enjoyed that one. I saw it in your legs. Yeah, but it was a good one. Yeah.

Dare I say, I think that clears the park. I think that's a really good one. I think that's up there with your, you had one, you said, the woman last year, you said the woman last year, you said the crypto queen who stole $4 billion. He goes, we were like, what do you think she is? And he goes, I think she's, well, because she has $4 billion, I think she's Ukrainian.

I was like, that clears the park. I think that Bangkok joke, I think we're starting to operate on a nice level where the ball's clearing the wall. When they don't clear the wall, that's fine too. That's the best part about comedy. And it's especially good about podcasts is because podcasts are not polished. And I think that's why people like it

because they're there for the hang. They're there for the ride to see when the funny comes. And it's hard to think of jokes on the spot like that. Oh, yeah. You're going to miss. Yeah, going to miss. Yeah, you're going to miss. And sometimes you're going to miss even when it's a rehearsed set. I've seen it happen to you. going to miss. Yeah, I'm going to miss. Yeah, you're going to miss. And sometimes you're going to miss

even when it's a rehearsed set. I've seen it happen to you. Yes, yes. Yeah, I've been in it. Yeah, it's happened to me. Yeah. I've been carted off on a stretcher. So none of us are perfect.

Yeah, you even made people get carted off on a stretcher too. Yeah, did I? Soul Joles. Oh, yeah. Somebody died in the audience. Aren't you guys a little tired of people, you know, like everyone's like lecturing everyone on how they need to be better?

Isn't that a little tiring at this point? You know? It's like, are you better because you do CrossFit? Like, okay. You know? It's like everyone's lecturing everyone how to be better. It's like, shut the fuck up. A guy wants to fucking enjoy his life.

He doesn't want to do Marine. He doesn't want to do Navy SE doesn't want to three he doesn't want to do navy seal training at four in the morning he's a dad with three kids he wants to put his hand in his fucking balls sniff it have a coffee and play with his daughter and be a little overweight go fuck yourself you psycho if you're still doing navy seal drills after you've been discharged for the army maybe you're a little fucked up. Maybe there's something wrong with you. Smoke a fucking joint.

Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah, why do you have a trumpet as your alarm clock? Relax. Yeah, fucking go watch a fucking Netflix series. Go hang out with your boys. Have a laugh. Smoke a cigar. Jesus fucking Christ.

And this obsession with health as if like fucking we're not all taking the high road. Look, there's a private plane waiting for all of us. God's got plenty of planes

and plenty of runways, okay? Your plane is out there. One day you will be on the runway and that plane will take off and go into either the straight part of heaven or the gay part of heaven. And that's it. That's all there is to it.

I think we discussed and just continue from a previous episode, you know, God, God likes straight stuff, right? So according to the book, according to,

and it was a really funny part of the last episode where it's like, God's in charge of the straight world. Like that's what he created. The gay world was created by member Lucifer. Yes. Because, you know, he got bored or whatever.

He's not full God, so he's a little gay. And so God's in charge of Andrew Tate. Like, if Andrew Tate right now, like, he just didn't, his appeal got rejected. He wanted the Romanian authorities to let him out. He doesn't like being detained for one main reason. What would your guess be? What would be his main reason?

He doesn't want to be in handcuffs because he likes to put women in handcuffs. It's a good reason. Survey says that gets a couple of nice ones. The real reason is because his hair looks fucking stupid right now. It's just growing out. A bald guy's hair growing out. Looks so stringy and patchy.

Yeah, I mean, he doesn't look like the top G right now. He looks like a fucking jihadi who they call underground in a cave. He looks like he played for the Moroccan team. Yeah, I mean, he's not looking very top G. There's no Lennon shirt open with some dragon tattoo on his chest. He's not on a boot. He's not wearing loafers with no socks. There's no fucking fruit in the green room on the private plane right now.

He looks like a terrorist in an episode of NCIS. green room on the private plane right now. He looks like a terrorist in an episode of NCIS. Yeah. There's no fucking dumb war refugee Slovak slaves getting whipped in the bedroom so he can look cool. I wish him the best. Probably a great guy. But I don't care about Andrade.

I care about Tristan Tate, his brother. You know? He's got hair plugs. How does his hair plugs look during this ordeal? Is they still holding on? These guys are going through hell. And yeah, Tristan Tate's hair plugs. Yeah. Yeah, Tristan Tate's hair plugs. Yeah, and he's admitted that those are hair plugs.

They look like they'd be a fun hang. They're probably great guys. If we had them in here, we'd get along. True. I'll tell you exactly who Andrew Tate is for me. The type of guy I would love as an acquaintance, but as soon as he tried to get me closer to his world of like what he does i'm just my moral compass i can't do it

so i'm going like you know so i would just like not really enjoy it yeah the bugatti rides aren't big for me you know i'd rather have a phone conversation with Tim Dillon about how the world's ending. That's what I do for fun. Yeah. I call Tim and I go, did you see this article? And he does that same thing. He goes, did you see this? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. And we send each other shit like that.

And that's fun for me. Yeah. Getting a new Bugatti's not big. These guys would be a cool hang for a little bit. It would be tempting to bang one of their human trafficked slaves if you didn't know they were human trafficked right he'd be like they'd be all around and he'd be like pointing you to them and you'd be like you know guys get tempted but then you know you get in there you know and if you if you're drunk enough and you're like god damn it

we're in romania whatever maybe this is cool i mean he's just sending her to me i don't know he's a sultan here i'll go don't know. He's assaulting here. I'll go back in and you go like, what's her name? And she's like, Bulvigi. And you're like, hey, Bulvigi. And then like, you know, I'm like a kind of like a sweet guy, kind of like I can't do that hard thing. I'm a male lesbian, right?

I just, I figured out I'm a male lesbian. I have too many feelings. I get panic attacks like women do. Yeah, you can't do that, dog. So I'll go like, so she'll send me in, but then I'll it out. I'm a male lesbian. I have too many feelings. I get panic attacks like women do. Yeah, you can't do that, dog. So I'll go like, so she'll send me in, but then I'll ruin it. I'll go like,

you know, so what's up? Like, where are you from? And she's like, I'm sorry. I'm actually from, I'm from Chechnya before, you know, Putin came and he bombed it. My whole family,

they're gone. And then I had to walk from Chechnya all the way to Bulgaria. I was trafficked by the mafia for 10 years. And then, thank God, I came to the brother's. They treat me so well. They let me stay in a cave in the basement. And then I'm going like, okay. And then she's going, okay, you ready?

And I'm going, I'm not ready. No, I'm not ready. But they want you to choke me. And you're just like, hey, you want some chamomile? Yeah. And then it's okay if you want to choke. What do you want to do? Hit?

Choke? No. I've been, these women are numb. They're numb because they've been through hell. You're never gonna see Andrew Tate and Tristan Tate have as one of their

in their bevy of girls some American girl going so glad to be here my god so cool fuck what's going on

when does the fucking cam shit start cause like I just came from fucking California and fucking Romania is so fire it's so fucking fire i love oh my god are these your sword collections boys in your dorm room

so fucking hot hot hot hot i fucking love it shit this has nothing over malibu fucking love romania i love how he tried to sell us. He's like, Romania's a great place. It's like, is it a great place? Is it? Is that why all the celebrities live in Romania? You go to Romania, it's just a bunch of dude with fucking nose hairs growing out on the other side.

You know those types where the nose hairs are growing outside? Where when you get a haircut, you have to get this trimmed down. And just ears, just blacks. It looks like there's a shadow in their ear, and they're just walking around eating fucking Polish food, whatever cuisine is dominant in Romania.

Is it better? Is it better than the United States? Or does it have something to do with the fact that you could, you bought your, he bought like some like big building, right? For like very cheap and turned it into like a swimming pool, workout area,

slave room. Who knows? Cam girl set up tiger. They probably got an exotic tiger or whatever. Chess podcast studio. I liked them though. I liked them. Yeah. They probably got an exotic tiger or whatever. Chess podcast studio. I like them though. I like them. You know?

I mean, listen, hey. Those girls want to be there, right? Kind of. Unless they don't. And I think those are what the charges are. I can't comment on it. I can't comment on this international matter because my legal degree has no jurisdiction in Romania.

But good luck. I wish them well, dog. I really do wish them well. I really do wish them well because I would love for them to somehow one day be on this podcast just so I could use them, completely use them for the attention.

Use them, yeah. Should I admit that? It would be completely meaningless to me. I don't want them on. I don't care. But I would be completely meaningless to me. I don't want him on. I don't care. But I would do it for the money. And that's okay to admit? That's okay to admit.

That's fine to admit. Yeah, and I'm sure they would appreciate my honesty. They would appreciate it. Yeah, I'd sit down and be like, hey, look, guys, I'm sure you guys are great, okay? I'm sure you guys are great kickboxers. You're interesting. I would love to talk chess with Andrew Tate. He's really good.

That would be nice. They're probably cool guys, right. They're probably cool guys, right? They're probably cool guys, but not good conversation starters. You don't think so? No. He's probably a sweet dude when the camera's off, right? He cries. Do you think he cried when he watched Brian's song?

I need to know if a guy could... I'm going to ask every person if they cried during Brian's song before they can become my friend. Yeah. Did you cry during Brian's song? You don't cry during nothing. I never watched it.

You never watched Brian's song? Ooh. You know Brian's song? No. Wow. How about Champ? Ricky Schroeder. When his father dies in the ring.

I cried during dumb shit, dog. I cried the ring. I cried during Dumb Shit, dog. I cried during Titanic. I cried during Transformers 2. You did, huh? Yeah. You're a sensitive kid. A little bit. If you don't think I got you down,

you got another thing coming. No, I know you got me down. I got you down. Yeah. I know the whole situation there. Yeah. I think you're wrong on some fronts, but mostly you got me down. Yeah, I got that right. No think you're wrong on some fronts, but mostly you got me down.

Yeah, I got that right. No, you were, you know, you were, you were grown, you grew up. Okay. Caring parents. Yeah. Mother, very caring. Yeah. Mother, very caring.

Maybe a little too much. Yeah. A little too much. Never too much for a mother. Never. If they show you care, take it. As long as it's not anxiety. Is it anxiety kind of like we're worried?

It's anxiety with a little bit of over-the-top drama. Okay. So like one time my mom called me. She was driving. She was like, Jared, where are you? I was like, I'm driving home from the city doing shows. Well, I just saw somebody driving on the wrong side of the road, so get home now. Yeah, but that's caring mother stuff.

That stuff, I would say, is a little annoying and funny, but you have a mother who's emotionally showing you that you're a priority in her life and not an accessory, which is what I had. So that's a different thing. I just felt like I was along for their ride. That's why you are into feminine stuff, because you wanted your mother to pay attention to you

the way she paid attention to her Versace shoes. Probably, yeah. I hit a chord on that one, though. Probably. Yeah, and whatever attention she paid to me was always in an anxious way. It was always about how she would look or, like, out of anxiety, you know?

So, you know, and they were high achievers. My mother was like, next law degree, next law degree, next law degree. And they didn't pay attention to who I was and what I wanted. I was just seen as like the failure. My brother was like Oxford, Brown, Tufts, you know, just smart people.

Yep, had a dick in there though. You got a dick in there, yeah. But also, yeah, you, you know, father, you know, father's a little tougher. You were a little more, you were brought up tough. Like, I think maybe there was like a little tougher thing, but you were the one who kind of went and went. You were kind of the one who kind of was a little more sensitive about it. Where the other brother was like, got yelled at. Yeah.

And maybe took a beating here and there and dealt with it better. True. But I got beat over dumb shit. Yeah. Like, my father was working a job. He was a cop but also he was going to school for his degree. So my mom was at work so sometimes my dad wouldn't feed me

and I would like tell my mom and my dad would beat my ass because of that. Right. Because you're a tattletale. You're a little rat. Yeah. But Doug I was going to bed hungry. Yeah. I felt like Oliver. Yeah. Yeah. You did the right thing. I did the right thing but I paid the cost. How bad was the beating? He would beat me with the food that he would serve me.

Oh. So he got Chinese food. I was getting my ass whipped with a wonton. Yeah. Yeah. He was throwing the fucking low man at me like, oh, you want to fucking tell your mom, huh? You want to tell her? You over here with egg full, young and shit. He'd be like, technically, you're still in the wrong no matter whether I told her or not. Technically,

you're supposed to feed your child. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what it is. Tom Brady is retiring. Jared Harvard's a good kid. You know, got a mean streak in there deep down there though. You have a mean streak in there?

I don't know. I don't think so, no. How were you raised? Good. Yeah. there i don't know i don't think so no um how were you raised good yeah yeah you're pretty just raised well right well my parents were split so i you know i i was all that was okay right yeah no i just was all over the place i had like half the week at one house half the week at another house you had two week at another house. Yeah, two houses. Yeah. Yeah, it was all good. Yeah. I mean, there were apartments, but it was all good.

Yeah. Yeah, but in New York, you don't know the difference. No, no, no. Dude, you know, we went back into my mom's house today. It's tiny. Really? It's tight for a house. I remember it being huge.

Yeah, because we have Stockholm Syndrome in New York City. I mean, now that I live in a house, you go like, this is fucking cramped. It's like small. The bathroom is fucking like tight. Like, it's crazy to see. Location, though. Of course, it's all location. But it's nuts to see.

Like, the basement ceiling is all fucking low. But it's nuts to see. The basement ceiling is all fucking low. Yeah, it's kind of a dump. But people want to be in the area. Be close, yeah. They want to be close. The location is incredible.

Of course, you can fix it up and make it look nicer. But they're not big. It's not big. The kitchen is not massive. You go to some of these other places now like more modern it's just you know there's an open kitchen there's seating like the kitchen

in my mom's house like this just long corridor you know it's just a corridor and like with a little section for a table it's tiny

it's like crazy and then you go upstairs the bedrooms one of them has no closet and it's tiny it's 10 by 12 or something you go upstairs, the bedrooms, one of them has no closet. And it's tiny. It's 10 by 12 or something. You're going like, how is this the price that it is? Like how?

You can't find parking. You can't park anywhere. Ever. Anywhere. Ever. You have to legally park. There's no spots. Not like here.

It's location, I guess. And the realtor's like, yeah, but there's a great bagels and lox store down the street. Yeah, and that means something. It's worth something. But some of it, make no mistake, is Stockholm Syndrome. Some of it is you get used to what you know. Some of it is like a big telling sign about what human beings are.

And a lot of what people think the world is and a lot of people think what is right is just completely based on whatever cave they're in. That's their reality. You know what I mean? That's a lot of what shapes what your reality is. And then when you get out of that, you see a full another perspective. And that a lot of people lose their minds when that happens. They go, wait a second. I can't be wrong, dog. I'm 40 years in. Like, I got it. a lot of people lose their minds when that happens they go wait a second I can't be wrong dog I'm 40 years in like I gotta

a lot of people just stick to it for that they just go fuck they just go Sean Tary they go close it close it there's a door opening I don't want fucking open

close it I go in two fucking doors I've been it's been two fucking many years that I haven't looked in that door I ain't looking in it now I don't wanna know what's in there

I don't want anything to change That's a fucking That's like hitting me in the face If you're asking me to see something from a different way It's an act of violence It's an act of violence at this point Keep those fucking doors of change

closed because they bother me. There's people like that. All walks of life. You go down south, same thing. Get that shit out of here, man.

Yeah. Get that fucking shit out of here, dude. Get it out. Get that voodoo science shit out of here, man. We got the church down here and we don't need your shit true we don't need your shit because you know a lot of people will experience regret if they see that they could have exposed themselves to something better their whole life

like the 40 years it's like oh that's so that's a waste i could have been had this already and now i have to sit in the mirror and reflect on myself and reflect on the dump that I've been in. Yeah, and also being wrong is a blow to the ego. Yeah. It's a big blow to the ego a lot of people can't take. Ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is bliss, but it also, once you get a hunch, you're in trouble. Once you get a smell, that's when you get in trouble.

It's just in your gut that whole time. It's in your gut. You know now you're going, fuck, something's wrong. And you try to deny it away, and you try to stay in that little room. But you're going like, it's time for me to get in that closet and grab that tack. I've been living a lie. It's raining men.

Hallelujah. Automatically, when you go gay, you get into Superman pose. Like you're flying. Palms come up. There's something about femininity that takes the palms this way yep they just go they just open open up you never go like this this is masculine but that is free just go straight iron man there's inherently things that are just like masculine and feminine and they're funny like

they nobody put a value on that i didn't make a decision to do that. It's inherently feminine. To move your shoulder, to move this muscle and feel this way is inherently feminine. There was no guy who faked that. That's no acting. It's just like inherently, just like the same way Michael Jordan walked and ran, that inherent cool and warrior kind of walk is inherent.

It's inherent. He ain't faking it. And then there's guys out there faking it. And then the real fucking lions know, and they eat you up. They chew you the fuck up because they know you're full of shit. That's why keep your mouth closed. Don't pretend if you can't back it up because you never know when you're around a real G.

Not a top G, a real G. If you go on the charts of Gs, there's a difference. You got the top Gs. You got your, you got your real Gs. You got your baby Gs. What are the type of Gs you got?

I've, it's been a while since I've been in G class and I did get a B. I never got an A because I never, I could never get my Gs right. You got your wank, you got your wankster Gs. You got, you got, if you're a wankster, be careful to act like a top G if you're around a real G. Because the real G's are real G's.

Real G's, top G's, wankster G's, and Kenny G's. And Kenny G's. Kenny G looked like this girl that I used to fucking get blown by in college. Can I say that on a prestigious news show and it was really funny i mean like a lot she had curly hair red hair and it was like i mean a lot yeah well they both know how to blow and i used to say she looks like kenny g and she was a great person she had a great laugh but i don't think that was great for me to say but it was funny and she laughed a little bit about it.

Because she did, as a female, she kind of looked a little like Kenny G. So it's what it is. Kenny G, dog. Black community, I think, is on board with Kenny G. Yeah. Are you aware of the list? Kenny G. Who gets, like, what white artists get on there? Kenny G. Yeah. Are you aware of the list? Mm-hmm. Kenny G. Who gets, like,

what white artists get on there? Kenny G, Eminem. I know the list. You know the list, kind of, right? Frank Sinatra. Here and there. He gets on it.

Like, a lot of black people respect that classicness. That was just old-time swag. Yeah, I wouldn't say he's on the list, though. There's a list. There's a list. There's a list. You want to hear?

I'll tell you mine. Eminem, Justin. Go ahead. Yeah. Justin gets on the list a little bit. Kurt Cobain gets on the list too. Really? A little bit.

He gave shout outs to Motown and Funk in his suicide letter. So he gets that on the list too. He also was talented. They give him a little. But here's the real list. And I always love it. The police, the police,

they love the police sting. Um, George Michael, George Michael. You, you, I, you only can know this if you've had,

if you, you, this is the only way you could know this is if you had black friends, like intimately with, this is the only way to find this out because it's a Phil Collins on the list. Phil Collins, Hall and Oates, big time on the list.

Lisa Stansfield on the fucking list. She's R&B, uh, chick. Um, Hall and Oates, who am I forgetting? Um, there's more, the fucking list. She's R&B chick. Hole in Oats. Who am I forgetting? There's more,

but those are some good surprising ones. I'm going to say Paramore. The band Paramore. Yeah, younger for me, but they're on the list for me.

They get on the list. Yeah, the list, the list may be changing, expanding, but the funny thing is in my day,

the list was small and it was really that. It was really the bands that I mentioned and it was really that. It was really the bands that I'd mentioned. And that was it. But it was funny to watch like, because like, you know, it's just something, you just know Hall & Oates is good.

And Hall & Oates, they just gave Hall, they just liked Hall & Oates. Like black people like, they just fucking were into Hall & Oates. And then you listen to Hall & Oates and you're like Hall & Oates was fucking dope. Hall of Notes And then you listen to Hall of Notes And you're like Hall of Notes was fucking dope Hall of Notes was dope

Yeah You know George Michael You listen to his solo stuff It's got soul man Like George Michael's stuff was good I remember black dudes Buying George Michael albums

He'd be sitting there With his shaped up goatee His shit looked like caked on too, yeah. He looked like a baker did that shit. Yeah. George Michael Greek,

by the way. Dead also. Dead also. Yeah. But gay as... And gay as well. Gay as Greeks come, dog. Yeah.

Well, he was a real Greek. Remember when he got caught with that glory hole in that bathroom in California? Yeah. He liked dicks, man. Dicks were delicious to him. Dicks were delicious to him. Dicks were delicious to him.

Here's the thing. I don't know if we can never. It can only be this, right? So like either dicks are delicious to you, dicks on dudes. You know, he wants to be with gay guys. Or it can be a little funny, right? Or you got to allow it to be with gay guys. Or it can be a little funny, right? Or you got to allow it to be a little funny. I think, you know, because there's only three options.

It either makes you angry, right? You think it's a little funny. Or you think they're delicious. I think those are the three. If I were to put on a diagram, the three ways to feel to put on a diagram the three ways to feel about homosexuality is, and I'm not saying

funny and make in front of someone who's brain injured I'm saying it's a little funny in a way it's a little funny it's something funny to watch a woman come over to you like that and be like what's going on my name's Charles I just it's something funny to watch a woman, you know, come over you like that.

And what's going on? My name's Charles. I mean, it's just funny. You're going like, how you doing? How you doing, Chuck? You know, it's just it's a little funny, like a dyke. Woman's a little funny. A gay guy's really funny. It's a little funny, not all funny, not in a funny, demeaning way. But the you know, it's I don't not all funny not in a funny demeaning way but the you know it's I don't think there's an alternative I think like

you gotta be okay with being made fun of a little bit cause the alternative I think is just like people hate it they get irate about it which is like that I just never understood I never got the I just never understood how it brings anger out in you

cause the only explanation I have for that is because people are so self-absorbed and people's fears are usually projected, right? Because if someone's not doing anything to you, but you feel like they are doing something, they're making you uncomfortable, there's a reason they're making you uncomfortable. And that's because dicks on dudes are delicious to you too.

And you don't want to open. Close that fucking door. Yeah. I don't want that fucking door open. Close it. What is this, a fucking pet shop, boys? Turn it off. Put fucking Journey back on a fucking jukebox.

I don't fuck. I want to hear Aerosmith put the fucking game on and hit me with another fucking middle eye right now. And I'm fucking stumbling home. Give me a fucking Marlboro light. I'm walking home now. And that's it. So in conclusion, Tom Brady's past his hot stage right now.

He had a little run. Everyone has a run. What are you going to do with your run? Because it doesn't last forever. At a certain point, I'm trying to look at you and see how you're going to blow out. It's fun to think about. Your body shape's kind of stayed the same, right?

Like strong, kind of boulder lifter. Jesse's got a real natural strength on his back. Yeah. You know? So it's like, yeah, you'd be lifting boulders. Yeah, you got a strong back. I always remember that. Come from a long line of Italian shit shovelers. Yeah, just shit shovelers.

A lot of Italian shit shovelers. Um, yeah. Jared, I think my blow out a little, he'll get, he might get boxy. Like when Jared turns into his forties,

he'll get, he might get boxy like me, like a little more boxy and less like strangly. This is your hot era. You got, you're going to be a hottie patottie for 12. 12 years. 25, 37, and then 37, you're going to start boxing up a little bit.

These jowls are going to come out. By that point, you'll be having a couple of coronas. You can't help it. You'll be with Lil Rel, and you guys, he'll pop. Lil Rel will be on the movie set. Lil Rel, Lil Rel. You'll want to fucking celebrate the scene. He pops out a caroni.

Next thing you know, you're doing two, three caronis. Next thing you know, a little bit more fried food, enjoying the spoils a little bit. And the next thing you know, Jared Harvin is a little blown out. It happens to us all. Don't think it can happen. Beetroot can only hold you for so long. Because a nice

caroni with lime in it, celebrating a success, will happen. But you'll be fine. It'll never go to hardcore stuff. And you'll put on a couple pounds. And your face will just get a little more bloated. And you'll just...

It's funny when you see a guy who's a little bloated now? Brendan Fraser. Brendan Fraser is beyond bloated. I mean, yeah, Brendan Fraser, but yeah, he's a guy who's, he had his era, but I saw a guy recently

who's like, you know, he just, Russell Crowe. Russell Crowe, it's over. You want to say during the tennis, right? The tennis match, I was like, holy shit, because he was just like a manly

handsome dude. And you're like, he blew out. He had his era. He looks like a fullback now, but he still looks like he's just doing it. Yeah, but I mean, he's not, you know, his face is starting to droop a little too much. Like, it's not. That picture

right there, the third picture down would do it. Oh, whoa, whoa. Yeah, I mean, it third picture down would do it. Oh, whoa, whoa. Yeah, I mean, it just, he boxed out. Hold on. Yeah. He might be filming a movie, dog. I don't know what that is, but. He's a, no, I think he's, you know, we saw him there.

I mean, it just happens, dog. At least he's still got the hair at that age. Look, he's still Russell Crowe. He's still Russell Crowe. I'm saying, when you go look at Gladiator, I mean, you're talking about leading man looks. Yeah. Leading man looks. But he looks inquisitive now.

Like, he looks like a librarian, but only for cookbooks. Yeah, I mean, the kid just looks blown out, let's be honest. I mean, he looks a little blown out. Matt Damon's kind of passing his day. Ben Affleck's holding on with that strong joy line. That Spanish-speaking tongue. Yeah, he's holding on with that strong joy line. That Spanish-speaking tongue. Yeah, he's holding on.

I mean, that guy does not fail to order a Taco Bell once. You heard him speak Spanish? Fluent. He's fluent in it? Yeah, because he grew up in Mexico a little bit. So him and J-Lo probably talk Spanish. Yeah, but it's funny to watch him speak Spanish and then J-Lo speak Spanish. It's like fucking night and day.

Because she has the accent? No, no, no. She's horrible at it. Oh, she's bad at it. She's bad at it, yeah. Yeah, because she's like fucking night and day. Because she has the accent? No, no, no. She's horrible at it. Oh, she's bad at it. She's bad at it, yeah. Yeah, because she's a new Eurekan. Yeah. She's like you and Sergio.

You guys don't even speak Spanish. Like, I'm an American Greek. I don't speak Greek. I'm learning now, but yeah. Yeah, Ben's starting. Ben's on the road. You know, he's got to be 50 now. He's 50.

It's a nice run. But they still look good. They still look good, but you know, you know it's over like the hot stage it kind of there's there was a period they were so they were like it's like incredible like they were on top of the world i you know my favorite thing about ben affleck is he's he was such a dick to jen gardner you remember when he was like, he was like, uh, I realized like, you know, if, uh, if I kept drinking, you know, the, I, once I had quit drinking, I realized I had to, he said something really shitty about the drinking. Do you remember that?

He was like, once I quit drinking, I knew I had to get out or, oh, if I would have stayed, I would have continued drinking. That's what it was. As if saying like, oh if I would have stayed I would have continued drinking that's what it was as if saying like oh I was so unhappy with her or with her she was the reason why I was drinking that's exactly what he said

it was like kind of he was putting it on her you know I love getting into the gossip of celebrities yeah Jennifer Garner's

the only one that's still pretty She still looks good Big ass ears but she's pretty Yeah I like those ears though I like them yeah She's got a niceness to her too It's niceness but she'll hear you breathing from like 8 yards away Yeah you know Emma Stone's got a niceness to her

Like a naturalness to her True True niceness yeah There's some nice ones But it's over It's over It's over And now it's over. It's over.

And now it's over for the greatest quarterback. This is like when Michael Jordan called it quits, man. These are two athletes, I mean, who dominated, who were the scariest people on the field as far as winning goes. Let me just remind everybody. I know we got a lot of guys listening to this. That means football fans. Let's be clear.

Tom Brady went to nine. Did he go to nine or ten Super Bowls? He went to nine or ten Super Bowls in his career. Can you fucking believe that? I think the closest to that is what? Joe Montana? Four? Maybe? Or six tops. He's been to 10 Super Bowls.

He's won seven of them. He lost two of them with miracles. Miracles. He would have had like Wilt Chamberlain amount of championships as a football player. The hardest thing to have a dynasty in. Every year is like almost a new Super Bowl. Rarely a team repeats in a Super Bowl.

Rarely. It almost never happens. I mean, it's insane. Tommy Terrific has been to 10 Super Bowl appearances. How many years did he play? 20? 19? So almost every year he played, he was in the Super Bowl. I mean, it's insane. It's like Jordan going to six and losing

none. It's a... It's a new era. It's a moment. I'd say this is a historic moment for Tom Brady to retire. It's a historic moment. Football is American culture.

Obviously, he's in the cultural conversation. And now he's off. He's off to figure out what he's going to do with his new $325 million contract from being a broadcaster. And he's got like two families in the wake of the destruction. Greatness just is going to be... You're going to look back on your boogie board and you're going to see a crying family over here, a left pregnant wife over here, a recent family abandoned over here.

You're going to see bad knees, broken friendships. There's just things in your wake to get to where he had to get to. There's just things in your wake. To get to where he had to get to, there's some pain in there. So what do you do? Do you think he tries to make amends? Or do you think he just walks off into the sunset and continues to cause destruction to the people around him?

You got to walk off into the sunset. I think you got gotta continue to be Tommy Terrific. I don't think you go around apologizing right now. Tommy Terrific don't throw apologies. He throws pig skins. So listen, fucker. You're a fucking

geriatric former model. Alright? I ain't fucking you no more. I'm 46. I'm back on the open market. Hide your hoes. Tommy Terrific is getting a whole new $325 million contract. Take your little alimony payments. Here you go, peasants.

Boom. $5 million for child support for each kid. I don't give a fuck. I still got $100 million. I got a new goddamn peacoat. I got a peacoat. I still got 100 mil. I got a new goddamn pea coat. I got a pea coat. I got my hair.

I got my hair. He uses probably clay. I got my hair clay ready. And I got more rings than J-Lo. I got my rings on and I'm ready to go fuck this planet up again in my second half of life. I ain't going back to Giselle crying, going, give me my family back. You can't. I think you got to continue to be Tommy Terrific.

We're talking about a guy who cheated on his wife while she was pregnant and left her. Basically what I'm saying is Tom Brady is a little bit of a dick, and dicks got to be dicking around if they want to be great. I even felt uncomfortable when Michael Jordan was crying at Kobe's ceremony. I felt uncomfortable about that. It didn't look like real tears.

It made me go like, who's this? What's this? I don't. It's a little late for that, man. It's a little late for that. man. It's a little late for that. Okay? You're a bad dude. But I guess everyone's got emotions.

Good luck, Tom. There's an open seat at this podcast anytime you want. Anytime. It's cool to be alive because we'll all be dead one day, but it is cool to be alive to see greatness like this and Novak Djokovic just winning his 22nd Grand

Slam at the Australian. Now he's got 10 there. It's been great to see Michael Jordan, Steph Curry, guys who've done some great things. Because I don't know if it'll continue to be great. I really don't. We may have peaked.

We may have peaked, sports-wise. I don't know if they make them like this anymore. You know? We'll see. We'll see if a guy can go to 10 Super Bowls. I mean, it's a feat, dog. We got Mahomes. You got Joe Burrows.

Do you think they're really made like this guy? Is it possible to be made like this guy in an era before all the medical technology, all the internet technology, all that? Is it possible? It's almost like that Paul Bunyan thing. Like, well, Paul Bunyan, I think, you know, maybe could have outlasted the machine because the hard times made these men. These men, this is an era.

He's from an era. I mean, let's be honest. When he started, the computer was just like starting, right? When did his first year? It was 2004 or something like that. He came into the league. 2000. So 2000. I mean, back then people had compact Presarios and not everyone had a computer. It was a different time. Nothing was easy. So it's interesting. It was also a time where you could be a dick.

You could be a fucking dick and it wouldn't be in the fucking news. Trying to tear you down. He left his pregnant wife. He's Tom Brady. What do you want him to do? Go to church with her every fucking Sunday? When did he have to become a politician? When did comedians have to become politicians? What the fuck? He's Tom Brady. What would you do if you were the handsomest quarterback and most famous athlete on the planet? What would you do? Stay with your wife and go to fucking the Cheesecake Factory every Saturday?

What's the point of being the fucking Tom Brady? What's the point? I would say to Gisele, I'd say to that other bitch he left, I'd say, hey, bitch, I know we're arguing, I know you're upset, but let me ask you an honest question. If I can't leave you to go get some better fucking Kiwi, what's the point of me being Tom Brady? Really? I think even God would go, you know what? That's what we expected Tom Brady to do. I don't think they'd let him into heaven unless he left his pregnant wife. You know, these old photos before things got better where they were just looking at his numbers, it looks like he's like, if they put this in black and white, it looks like they're about to put him in an oven in the Holocaust.

Like, why do they just have him posing like this? Like, you know? These are his combined photos. So good luck to Tom Brady. Keep on Brady-ing. Keep on throwing that pigskin. And what I mean by pigskin is keep throwing that fucking, throw that dick around. You're a single man.

46. It's all out there. And I hated Tom Brady because you know I was a giant fan but it was sweet to beat him and nothing but respect nothing but the best

I'd love to become friends with you man so just hit me up I would totally be obsequious to Tom Brady I would just I would really it's funnyious to Tom Brady. I would just, I would really, it's funny though, it does wear off, and it's very funny. It's very funny to see a text from John Stamos and go like, I'll get back to it later.

I'm in the middle of something. Yeah, at first you're like, holy shit, man, I'm fucking, I'm friends with an American icon, you know, a very talented guy, a very famous guy. And I don't get starstruck by anybody, but there was a little bit of going like, hey, this is cool. And then they subscribed to our Patreon.

Yeah, I mean, you subscribe to our Patreon. And then it's just like anything else. It's just like people are people. Like Tom Brady would be cool the first, like if we hung out with Tom Brady, we'd be like, yo, we'd talk about a few of his exploits on the field and then by the seventh hang you're kind of going like what are you ordering what am I ordering how is the fish have you watched this show yeah what do you think about this so that's mostly what life is.

But not, it doesn't have to be for Tom. Because he doesn't need to keep having boring relationships. He can keep moving. I would, you know, you just do it till the end. You do it the way the Rat Pack did it, talking about Frank Sinatra and all these guys.

You keep going. You keep going till you're 90 and she's 20. You know? You keep pulling those ages apart like this. 90, 20, 30, 40. Live it up. There's got to be guys who are role model douchebags. What can I tell you?

Thanks for watching, everybody. Congratulations to Tom Brady. And we'll see you next time. We want to give a shout out to our Patreon sponsors. Thank you guys so much for sponsoring the show. We love you and please do not go away. I love the energy. I just want to say I love the energy.

It's real QVC energy. What's up guys? When I read this shit at this point, I'm like, it's just fucking Brooklyn Cattery. But Brooklyn Cattery is actually really good. Macha and Lauren, shout out to them. Making great sodas, pre-product sodas that are great for you. Sodas that make you keep your feet. So go to brooklyncattery.com.

Put in the promo code Deonis Pop. It's 15% off your next order, guys. You want to get these sodas. They're really, really, really good, and they're healthy for you. That's why we're not in the advertising business, because sodas that will keep your feet is funny, but I don't think that's a great ad for them. No, no.

You don't want to think about diabetes when you drink soda. That's what ad guys, they think of all that stuff, right? They go, ah, you want to think about losing feet or anything like that. Even though it's a positive thing, a trained ad guy would go, no imagery of diabetes because they're all manipulative,

like mediums. So they just go, all positive imagery. It doesn't even have to do, you ever watch a commercial that's got nothing to do with it? It's like a cloud and then there's just clouds.

It's just clouds, and then they go to New Balance. And you're like, all right. And our brains just go, oh, nice. All right, what's next? We got Nate Linder. But we don't got him. We've never hired him. We don't got him, but he wants us to have him.

But he's here. He just keeps on coming back. The guy's like someone that's hitting on a hot girl in the 11th grade. What do you need? More brand awareness, better leads, or more online sales. Nate is your guy. Home service businesses, e-commerce retailers, doctors, lawyers, pet groomers, whoever you are, Nate can boost up your business. He sold over and managed a million in digital advertising in 2022.

So he's no rookie to the game. The best part about this is we got this from third party, nonpartisan information, non-biased information. This was done by a statistician. It is confirmed. Yes. Nate has managed over $1 million. Yes, it's certified within the BBB.

In digital advertising. Mm-hmm. It's beyond, it's a certified fact. But guys, if you want to check him out go to natelinder.com also check him out on instagram nate underscore linder for his snowboard videos as well yeah he's a great guy nate linder uh now chris manetti uh you know if you want to cash your check you're an affiliate in the south jersey area um you don't want the government tracking you just call 215-750-3730. He does not have a website. If he did, he would get shut down.

If you don't want the IRS to track you, go ahead and Chris Meddy, hit him up if you're in the South Jersey, Philly area. He'll cast that check for you. No questions asked. Aaron Leaf. It's good to have a guy like Chris Meddy in your portfolio. Yeah. Everyone needs a doctor friend so they can talk about their symptoms.

Everyone needs, what, a lawyer friend or something. And then you need a guy where you can cash a check if times get hard. The guy that always has toothpicks in his back pocket. Yeah. Aaron Lee, ForTheFree.com, organization dedicated to providing artists from Hawaii a place

to develop their craft. Guys, they're bringing you new up-and-comers from Hawaii. They're expressing the artistry in Hawaii because no one really thinks of Hawaii unless it comes to tourism. So support these guys. They're really great. Make music come out of Hawaii, bro. For the free.art, they're going to start sharing live shows. Actually, they just started sharing live shows in December,

so go ahead and check them out. Yeah, if you're on vacation, I mean, you know, that's the thing. Yeah. It's great. And also, you know, they're doing,

they care about something nobody else cares about. Music in Hawaii. Yeah. So it's like, they're the spot to go to. They're the go-to spot. That's it. They got a monopoly

on the market. If you're curious about anything that has to do with music in Hawaii, they're the go-to spot. Yeah, the Band-Aids of music in Hawaii. There's no Pepsi to their Coke. They got a monopoly on it.

Manly Girly Studios came out to the shows in Miami. Hopefully, you didn't go to Thursday because I fucking sucked on that. You were figuring it out. I was figuring it out, my dog. It was like a Rubik's Cube, and I took a long time to figure it out. Manly Girly Studios, they have four hilarious podcasts that are guaranteed to make you laugh. They got Gringo in the Rough, A Side of Fries, Casa de Thinking, and The Manly Girlie Show. Their unscripted comedy, guys, is really funny. And with host Ari Andy and their interesting friends, you're sure to have a ridiculous good time.

So go ahead and check them out on their YouTube or their website, manlygirly.com. And that's how Jared really feels about it. Jared, no fumes except with one inside strange, Wilm Zatowski. He's moving a car in the San Antonio area. He has over eight years of experience in the moving industry and has been operating his company since 2016. He is no rookie. Guys, if you want to move your car, go ahead to exclusiveautoshipping.com,

fill out the form, and call the number on the website. That's it. He'll take care of your car if you want to move it but not drive it. Oh, he threw a dust hit in there. Funny thing about him is that was the first time he got his full copyright. So there you have it. It's taken a year and a half. He's been here from the get.

From the get-go. We appreciate you, dog. Yeah, I usually just go, if you're moving your car, exclusiveautoshipping.com. Sometimes I'll say student and military discount supply. But we do love all you guys for sticking around, supporting the show. It means a lot to us.

We hope we've given you something back. So long to Longshore Coffee. That's the last time I'll mention you. They might come to the show in Providence. Yeah, and yeah, wish you luck. Your coffee's good. How many open spots

now? Four. Four open spots. It's becoming a very exclusive club. It's there for you guys. Of course, we benefit from it. I'm not lying to you. We benefit a little bit, but barely compared to what you get. So if you have an emerging brand or you want to, you know, put yourself out there, this, you know, this podcast, you know, I won't, I'll tell you exactly.

It's 50,000 people listen to this podcast every episode. Exposure, dog. That's what we, that's what we, so if you want to get your message out to 50,000 people for that fucking, it's, you know, I got to stop. It shouldn't be something that people should know about because we also sell ads on here. But you know what?

I'm a man of the people. I'm a man of the people. So I'm going to keep it until we double in numbers and then I'll double it. And it'll still be a nice gesture. It'll still be a nice gesture. So thanks for supporting us, right, Jared Harvin?

Of course. Thank you, guys, for supporting us. Remember, four spots open. If you've got a business you want to promote, slide on in there. On behalf of Justice Couturo, Jared Harvin, and myself, I'd like to say whatever episode this is attached to, whether it be a solo episode or Zoltan Kasas. Hopefully that's what it is.

Great guy, by the way. Very funny. Love that guy. So if you just watched that, loved it. But we're playing a little mix and match now, and we're really having some fun. So now we're playing pin the tail on the podcast. We don't know which one this is going to be pinned on.

It depends on how I feel. So we'll see you next time. It's been a long day.