Yannis Pappas Hour - Vaccines are on Da House - LongDays with Yannis Pappas - Episode 24

Episode Date: June 13, 2021

Yanni is trying a new political diet for a week just like keto, the Chinese youth are lying down on the job for a change, the difference between “grinding” and work, why living your dream is stupid, when a woman turns 40 plastic surgeons cold call you, Google being challenged by the heartland, yanni also comes up with an idea for a black search engine, Logan Paul is our Rocky, Yanni takes us thru his experience of performing stand up on a subway car for HBOMAX, the Cancun Class socio economic status is explained, Fauci is putting out too much content, we’ll miss the free farting in public, Ilan Omar loves false equivalency but babe, Vaccines are still on the house and “conservative Democrats” are now a thing cuz why not add oxymorons to the playlist. Oh bubbas, Wasdadealis!   For an additional bonus episode ever week and more content, click here and support the show: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdays   The show goes out every Sunday at noon to youtube and audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram!   Support our sponsors:   https://try.keeps.com/keep-your-hair-fmf?utm_campaign=son-longdays-yannis-pappas&utm_medium=audio&utm_source=podcast   https://sundayscaries.com   https://www.hellofresh.com/LONGDAYS12   Come join in on the LONG DAY Follow Yannis Pappas Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/ Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Website - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

And here we go. This week, another eventful week in America. Kamala Harris says, Stop in the name of the USA. I have the same policy as Donald Trump. AOC, do you hate me now? Don't come past my wall of love. Donald Trump AOC, do you hate me now? Don't come past my wall of love.

And there's a new Indian strand of COVID-19 that is causing blood clots and it's very dangerous. So remember, there's a South African strand. There is a Brazilian strand. There's a British strand. But there is no Chinese strand. Joey Biden's meeting Putin. Oh, that's going to be a real showdown on Triller. The opening fights will be Jake

Paul's sister versus my mother. Mayweather and Logan Paul had a fixed fight. That was fun to watch. Elon Omar is saying the United States committed atrocities. Thanks, Congresswoman,

for your patriotism. Terry McAuliffe, another white guy in Virginia, killing the dreams of progressives and Yas Queens. I did a shoot for HBO with my old friend Don L. Rawlings

and he painted his beard black because he's old. What's up, wrong? And there's something up. Now here comes a great kid you know you can trust. From the truth to the news and cameras. To the fake politics and the propaganda. Yeah, this kid's screwed in. Got a lot to say. Aw, shit.

This about to be a long day. It's a long day. It's a long day coming. Welcome to Long Days with Giannis Pappas. First for the business, thank you for coming to my shows in Miami. I really appreciate it. Me and Sergio and Marisa had a great time. She jerked me off in the green room and pet one of Sergio's snakes.

We had a fun time in Miami, like, irregardless, like, Miami's really grown. It's crazy. It's expanded. is like, Miami's really grown. It's crazy. It's expanded. People are really there for the no state taxes. And there's a lot of Brazilians there because they can launder their money through Airbnb-ing their apartments that they buy to avoid taxes in their own country. People will always avoid taxes. Okay? That's it. We have to have one world communist government that doesn't allow anyone to rob taxes or else you go to the gulag. That's the only way. Okay. I'm full blown communist now. I'm going to try it for a week. Okay. It's like keto. I want to start doing political philosophies

like diets. Why don't we do that? Instead of someone saying, I'm a libertarian, try it for a week. Feel it out. Maybe you'll learn a few things. Try socialism for a week. Maybe you'll learn a few things, and then you'll come out of it with your own diet plan called, give me that cake, which means it's all about you. So all of them have a little something, you know? Can't we just treat all the political philosophies like a buffet? You don't just take the salami slices. Salami slices are like capitalism. They're really the all-star of the Italian meats appetizer, okay? You got your ham there. You got your moradillo. You your hota pasita what do you call moradillo and your spangordi but everyone goes for the salami the peppered salami that's the capitalism

of the italian meats plate but without the cheese and without the cracker or the biscotti or whatever you like to put your salami on, it's too much salami. The cheese, that's your socialism. It balance out the capitalism and gives you that nice, perfect taste. Can we stop making socialism and capitalism fight? Okay. They're peanut butter and jelly, okay? Capitalism is peanut butter. It's the star of the show because peanut butter is a rock star. You can put that shit with chocolate.

You can put it in your ass. You can put it on your pussy and have your house dog lick it off if you're a 60-year-old woman who hasn't seen a cock in 10 years and you want to get a little licky-licky. It's the all-star. Dogs will lick it off your ass.

But without the peanut butter and jelly, which is your socialism, it's a little too harsh, a little too dry. And then you need your water. And your water is, you know, you got to have a little what they call low-income labor. That's your water. You need that so everyone can feel good and can enjoy being middle class because that's what people want to do. Nobody wants to work, okay, Asia? Now, what's going on in China is some of the best news that I have heard all year. The Chinese children, the students there, they're protesting. I don't know if you guys heard about this. They're doing a lay down protests. Okay. Where all these young students and all these young kids in China are protesting the nine to nine to six culture in China, which if you didn't know, here's the specific details.

In China, they work 9 a.m., which they get to sleep in a little bit, which is nice, right? That beats getting to the office at eight. First, you got to pack into some sort of train. Have you ever seen the Chinese or the Japanese go to work in the morning? I mean, you just want to say, hi, can I hire one Chinese guy to help me pack my car? I'm moving to Austin. He'll figure out a way to fit that couch in there. Because let me tell you something. They fit into that subway car, a thousand of them.

I mean, that subway car fits a hundred. And you could stack Chinese on Chinese and get a thousand fifty in there. They get in there. Then they go to work. They unpack and unfold themselves and they get out of that train car somehow. They go to work from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. six days a week. So they have a 12 hour work day and a six day a week work day. I know Americans right now just fainted and had a panic attack. Take a Zanny, take some Sunday Scaries CBD, do what you got to do with the information I just gave you. Gross, okay? No. I want to make a TikTok video and get a sponsorship from Bang Energy Drink

and work for 10 minutes a day and the rest of the time just grind. Nobody knows what grind means. See, the Chinese work, we grind. You know what American grind means? That means sit around and feel good about your ideas. That's what a grind is. To sit around and go, I'm grinding. Grinding means you're telling people you're grinding.

So it's not exactly work because work is not fun i'm sick of people and when i mean people i mean um inspirational speakers in america that grift listen here's the deal nobody who's rich got rich because they went to a Tony Robbins concert. And make no mistake, that is a concert. He comes out there with his big head and he starts clapping. And he's got no rhythm and he dances like Frankenstein. And he's got his fucking headpiece on like Bobby Bonilla. What's his name?

Bobby Brown. I was about to call him bobby bonilla come on man come on man remember bobby brown it's my prerogative everybody's talking where do i get that crack from whitney why don't they just ask for my connect so nobody got rich just being like you know what i i don't have the motivation maybe if i went to a tony robbins concert and paid uh three thousand dollars how many people do you think came back saying that was a good investment i paid a thousand dollars for front row seats at a tony robbins concert in miami and for some reason, I am still working at Jennifer Couches. Jennifer Couches, they're kind of like the, they're kind of like the, Jennifer Couches,

they're kind of like the Arby's of furniture stores. Raymoor and Flanagan, definitely McDonald's. Definitely McDonald's is Raymoor and Flanagan? Definitely McDonald's. Definitely McDonald's is Raymoor and Flanagan. Stop telling people to live their dreams. What are you doing? You're lying to people. If you were going to get rich, it would be in you. You'd have a lazy eye. You'd have some sort of weird Bill Cosby or Jeff Bezos eye, or you'd have no hair like Elon Musk. Nothing motivates people to success like insecurity, lack of height, or a receding hairline or a lazy eye. Okay. Jason Momoa wasn't born grinding. He was just born beautiful. And some guy said, Hey, will you let me touch your

penis and I'll make you Aquaman. And he said, fuck yeah, dude, it works. That beats working at Chipotle. And he did it. You think Charlize Theron is a hard worker? Or did someone just see her in a bank and said, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Can I touch your pussy and put you in a movie? And she said, absolutely, that works for me. And he said, my name is Harvey Weinstein. Nice to meet you. That is how the world works, okay? Even athletes, do you think they really worked hard? Yeah, they hit the gym and sacrificed the books, but it doesn't hurt being born fast as a gazelle and as tall as a giant either.

So it's in you, okay? Stop telling people to live their fucking dreams. This country is obsessed with work. We got to be more European. And by European, I mean, cheat on your wife, cheat on your husband. You know, eat less. You ever go to Paris and have breakfast as an American? I remember I went to Paris for one day as an American and went to breakfast and they put like a little tiny thing of jam with like half a croissant and they were like, bon appetit. And I was like, who am I supposed to give this to? Do you see a two month old baby here? I'm an American. What I want is a burger with a side of cheese fries and a hot dog on the side brother it's breakfast time give

me an omelet and i want the i want the lumberjack special brother when you come to our country and you want to know what our cuisine is just ask me to take you to breakfast and i'll take you to the local diner and get yourself a lumberjack special. What's the lumberjack special? Well, it's named after lumberjacks, and those are some hungry blue-collar people that don't exist anymore, brother, because they're all working at banks while Mexicans do that work. But a lumberjack special is everything

on the menu for breakfast, brother. Want some flapjacks? We'll give you that. How about a burger and a side of omelet with home fried sausage and a half a pig? $6.99 with cheese fries deluxe. People are who they are, okay? You can't just be all work and plus accept work, You can't just be all work. And plus, accept work, okay? It's not supposed to be fun.

Why don't you go online, Gary Vee, and just tell people, live a life. All jobs are respectable. All jobs, what's wrong with me? All jobs are respectable. It's called work because it's not play. It's not supposed to be fun. Not everybody's out there supposed to be making internet videos and content, okay?

Some people have to work. And there's nothing wrong with that. You get your pleasure in your personal life. Build a life. Be around people you like. Make some friends. Join a chess club. Play Dungeons and Dragons.

Go do one of those like adult, you know, swingers parties. Do something fun, dude. Go do one of those adult swingers parties. Do something fun, dude. Go see Rocky Horror Show and yell at the screen. I love how white people have one movie that they'll yell at the screen for, and black people have every movie that they'll yell at the screen for. There's a motorcycle here. Yanni, a lumberjack specialism log splitting the most feminine looking man on the ladder. Son, you don't make sense.

All jars are respectable. Yanni Biden, yes. Did I say all jars are respectable? Anytime Yanni says a word wrong, take a shot. You would be hammered. Comment roulette. When I look down, I read what I see. The episode is going live to my Instagram as it does every Instagram. I got live dates coming up in Richmond, Tampa, San Antonio. So please go to yannispapascomedy.com and get your tickets, your packets, if you live in that area, please. So Natalie Portman turns 40. Natalie Portman is 40, which means her Botox

is one month old. When you turn 40 in Hollywood, do you think you get cold calls from plastic surgeons in Beverly Hills? You know how like when you turn 80 and Hasidic Jews just show up on your door and say, do you want to sell your house? We'll buy it in cash. Do you have Alzheimer's? Perfect.

Here's the deal. I'll give you 40 cash for your house. And your grandmother's like, I wanted to leave it to my son but okay i can play a lot of bingo with 40 000 take my home in ridgewood queens and he says sold do you think just like that plastic surgeons just show up on natalie portman's door like hey what's up natalie we heard you just turned you just turned 40. You want to tighten up a little bit? And she's like, yeah, just take away the wrinkles, okay? Just make my face look like a scream mask. Just Jennifer Aniston my face. Just kill every nerve and take

away the wrinkle because people can't tell. Nobody can tell that I've had Botox. So Natalie Portman, she's an Israeli-American actress. We're all waiting for her tweet about how to solve the issue because I think Mark Ruffalo almost nailed it. We just need Natalie Portman to weigh in and then Gail Gadot after that. And I think, and then we just need, and another one. What's his name? DJ Khaled. Can't we just solve the Israeli-Palestinian issue

by having DJ Khaled, who's Palestinian, I believe, fight Gail Gadot, who's Wonder Woman, in a trans wrestling match? That's a callback to the last episode. So, Ohio. The great state of Ohio, okay, where Youngstown is, Kelly Pavlik, okay, boxer, came from Youngstown. You know who else comes from Youngstown? The great comedian Mike Vecchione, okay? I was born in an American town. The first time I look you. I think at every person in Ohio's wedding, they play Bruce Springsteen.

Born down in a dead man's town. The first time I look you hit the ground. Nobody knows any words to any songs. I was born in a small town. Who's that? Kevin McCorfic? Yep. Sings that? The great state of Ohio has filed a lawsuit against Google claiming that it needs to declare itself a public utility.

Interesting. Is this laying the groundwork for what the future will be? Are we going to break up these tech barons, if you will? Because these tech tycoons are the new industrial capitalists. We've spoken about it before. And tech and the internet are the new railroads. And what are we gonna do, okay?

The barons, they built the railroads, and they made trillions until the U.S. government said, hmm, you're more of a public utility. This isn't fair. We have to declare you a monopoly and break you up. So here could be one of the first steps

from somebody taking down google and they're saying it's unfair because google sells you their stuff first whatever you google it's even called google you know what is there another word for search ask jeeves gave it a try but that didn't really work out ask jeeves that didn't really work so. Ask Jeebs. That didn't really work. So it's Google. It's got a nice ring to it. Google it. Google it. Do you think they thought of that? Google it. Because initially it was just a search engine, right? And they were up against Yahoo. Yahoo it. It doesn't, so much is just marketing, right? It's just, it's just marketing, dude. Right? so much is just marketing, right?

It's just marketing, dude, right? What's the difference between an Old Navy shirt and a Lacoste shirt? They both shrink in the dryer. They were both made at the same Chinese factory by Chinese kids who want to now lay down. They don't want to work nine to nine to six. But one of them's got a monkey on it and the other one just says Old Navy in the back.

But they're both made in China. It's the same shit. But marketing is the difference. So Ohio is claiming that, you know, Google pushes their products first. And it's true. That's what happens. If you had the search engine

and then you also had like Google products and you search for dildo, some subsidiary owned Google store is gonna pop up and sell you those dildo, some subsidiary-owned Google store is going to pop up and sell you those dildos. You don't know Google owns that dildo store, but they do. And why wouldn't they make that extra money if they control the pipeline? And basically, Google is the information pipeline and now information has finally culminated into being absolute currency. If you hold the algorithm in your hand and the way you do that is by bikini shots. The more bikini shots you have, the higher up the algorithm will place you. So if you have the algorithm in your hand, it's money. So Google obviously controls their algorithm, their search engine,

and they push their products forward. And Ohio is saying enough of that, enough of that. This is a class action suit. And who knows, maybe this will catch fire. enough of that. This is a class action suit. And who knows, maybe this will catch fire. Maybe, it seems, it always comes down to the big three, like the Miami Heat when they had their little run. You know, you consolidate into one, right? It's like everything gets consolidated into like a Walmart business model eventually. And then it gets broken up a little bit. And then there's like two others. There's always like McDonald's, Burger King, and Wendy's. You'll always have your little Arby's or your Charles Jr.'s local competitors. But the three big boys always end up being. So maybe

this will end up being a Google, Yahoo, Amazon. and then there'll be like a Spirit Airlines of Google, where you Google like t-shirts and just FUBU shirts will show up. You know what I'm saying? Maybe there'll be a, do you think there'll ever be like a BET of a Google BET? Like there's a black Twitter, like there's a black network, like there's a black comedy circuit. Maybe eventually black people will be like, you know, fuck Google, man. You know, I'm trying to Google dudes without their shirts on and all's coming out is Jason Momoa and Brad Pitt. You know what I mean? I want to see Kyrie Irving without his shirt on, you know? I'm gay on the down low. I, you know, I don't got time to be filtering out all these white dudes

I want to see Donald Rawlings Whose body is shaped like a Ken doll I want to see that I want to see Donald Rawlings His arms like that I'm not trying to get off on it I'm just trying to feel better about my body And they'll be like

I don't want to filter out all these Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise shirtless shirts Shirtless shirts, shirtless shirts, shirtless bodice, so maybe they'll be like a FUBU, who's the dude on Shark Tank who runs FUBU, nah, nah, nah, the Miami Heat was literally the NBA challenging itself to another Chicago Bulls, because it forgot how to do that after the Lakers three-peat. You feel me? Who's the guy on Shark Tank? There's one guy on Shark Tank who started FUBU. He's a fucking multimillionaire. Dude, listen to me. I want to go on Shark Tank and pitch a black search engine. I mean, come on with this fucking Google shit. It even sounds way, did you Google it? I want to hear, did you,

I mean it. Ya hurt? Call it ya hurt? And then when you Google it, it goes, there's like a DJ when you Google it, when you put a Google in, you hear,

and another one. Ya feel me? Give it some fucking flavor. You know what I mean? When you Google something, fucking a couple of backup dancers from the 90s come out and start breaking and shit like that. Come on, dog. guess um did a little dance make a little love get down tonight with uh money mayweather it was an absolute circus um yanni got a billion dollar idea thank you omar is wild lebron lebron ain't never flopped yeah and i've never masturbated um this is a good one dios que rapido hablo esto tipo esta como drogado so there's someone in here who's speaking either

portuguese or spanish you heard search engine yeah it's called you you heard search engine. Yeah, it's called your heard search engine. Yes, get the gay out. Yes, yes. If you're ready to start your day and you're not feeling very masculine, try Get the Gay Out with Giannis Pappas. For $2.99, you can watch the video where Giannis teaches you how to get the gay out yes yes okay now go out there and be a man so they did a little dance make a little love Logan Paul who looked like fucking Andre the Giant or Hulk Hogan out there fighting Mayweather who looked like Beetlejuice. I mean, Logan Paul, I think he's about 6'2", 6'1", but the kid is built like someone who knows how to fly under the radar when he's juicing. There's no way Logan Paul wasn't juiced up and on coke for that fight because he took a couple of stiff fucking hooks and he stayed up. But I guess that's what happens when you get hit by somebody

who's so much smaller than you i don't know if mayweather has the power to knock out a big dude although there was that one clip that's on the internet that's spawning conspiracies where it looked like um logan paul got knocked out and mayweather held him up who knows it's probably fixed they probably met before and said hey Hey, we're going to make millions and millions and millions of dollars, dude. Let's just make it go eight. So we both win. Logan Paul probably said, Hey, look, you're going to make the money anyway. So let's just hit each other a bunch dance around. And, um, we'll both win because if I go eight with you, it's really a victory for me because everyone's expecting me to get knocked out. And if you beat me a little bit, everyone expects that.

So beat me up a little bit. And people aren't going to expect you to be like, ah, he's not big enough to knock him out. He's not 21 anymore. It almost looked like they both had those post-fight comments planned. And like most people who tell you to believe in something, it's probably not real, okay? Because afterwards, look,

Logan Paul gave his Rocky speech. He's like, if I can do it, you can do it, we can all do it, Adrian. But instead of Adrian, he was like, where are my whores? Where are my whores? Because I mean, the kid gets gets pussy barrels and barrels of pussy i just picture like his lackeys just wheeling in barrels of pussy after his events the way bootleggers wielded

fucking illegal alcohol into some basement somewhere just barrels and barrels of it you know those videos like chicago cops just fucking breaking open those barrels and spilling the wine out you know they didn't feel good about that you know a few of them put their fucking face under it when the cameras went off i just picture he has a prohibition level of booze except you substitute it with pussy at his disposal. Logan Paul. There's no way Logan Paul doesn't go gay at some point. That's the thing.

When you're that masculine, he's got his testosterone up because he boxes and he's on steroids. So those two things are going to juice that guy's confidence, his testosterone, his masculinity up. And he can have any girl he wants. He's touching girls that when you touch their skin, it's like silk. It's like fine Chinese silk, and he takes that for granted. Isn't that wild how the universe works? There's guys who just want to touch that soft skin once in their life and they never will. Okay. They'll end up with some girl when they touch their skin, it feels like they're just

running their hand over Chris Farley's body. Okay. Or they're just going to, it'd just be a little, it's just like, you know, stubble rashes and stuff. And he touches these girls. Their skin is like silk and everyone wants just once. Everyone else would just want one time to touch that silk, okay? And Logan Paul's just sitting there. There's grapes being put into his mouth. He's being like, nice silk, nice silk,

nice silk, nice silk. Okay, I've had enough. Now give me a rod. I'm bored. I need a rod it's like Magic Johnson and Isaiah Thomas there's no way

Magic Johnson didn't bang a dude there's no way when you have thousands and thousands of girls there's no way you don't go

okay I'm bored I don't care how good girls are I mean I feel that way about pizza and I put pizza up there with women if you were to

make a holy trinity of best things on the planet for a straight guy, one of them is women. The second one of them is definitely pizza. And the third one is definitely no snakes on the plane movie. Those three are the greatest. Do you remember that movie, Snakes on a Plane? It's like God blew up a balloon, drew a face on it, and then blew it up some more. What are you talking about? Logan Paul's going to spread for Marisa. Exactly. He'll get to a point where he'll call me and be like, yo, Yanni. I'll be like, what's up, Logan? I'm a big fan. You know, I'll lie or whatever. And he'll be like, yeah, man, look, I'm a fan of your comedy. Decent.

You know, I know you're friends with Tim Dillon. I like him. But yo, here's the deal, man. I can't feel anymore because I've had so much puss puss. I'm talking about puss puss like you haven't heard. I can't even get up anymore for just regular stuff. Would you mind putting on the outfit for me? Because trans isn't enough for me. I banged a couple dudes that got boring.

So what I need is a guy who doesn't want to do this, but also has the talent to pull off another human being who happens to be trans, but isn't really trans. That's the only thing I got left right now. So can I fuck more Risa dog? I'll give you $30 billion. Who gives a shit? I just want to feel again. You can't have too much, right? Because everything becomes trite and you become numb to everything. The universe is always seeking balance and moderation. The ancient Greeks always said, pan metron ariston, everything in moderation. And I'll tell you what's not moderate is Logan Paul's lifestyle for sure. So who knows? Maybe, maybe Logan Paul and Jake Paul, next step, president and vice president. Why the fuck not? Would you vote for the Paul brothers? I would. Who the hell? How great would it be if the most prominent politicians in our land become, I don't know if you heard,

Alyssa Milano is gonna run. So who's the boss now? Really? I mean, Alyssa Milano. What is she saying? She's running for what? Besides Yas Queen of the Year? I know she's already won that election.

Logan Paul getting pegged by Dan Men 814. And then there's the Spanish girl still here calling me guapo. Yo es un guapo muchacho. Please marry me. She speaks English too. Marisa versus Caitlyn Jenner, 12 rounds for the governorship of California. That's what I'm talking about, dog. Let's go full-blown Nero at the end of this empire. So I would love to see a world where it's just Caitlyn Jenner is governor of California. Alyssa Milano is governor of a state that has been taken over by hashtag Me Too, and it's just called Me Too.

Give them Idaho and let that be the headquarters for those fucking Charlie's Angels bitches of a state that has been taken over by hashtag me too. And it's just called me too. Give them Idaho and let that be the headquarters for those fucking Charlie's Angels bitches to just fucking cancel. And then of course, we'll have Jake and Logan Paul as president and vice president. Guys, let's talk hair loss. A lot of people have been commenting

about how good my hair looks and how full it's gotten i'll tell you why i'm here to help you i'm here to put you in on a little secret yanni's been using keeps okay they send me the stuff because they're a sponsor and i've been using it and look how full my right now i look like ge George Clooney. I got George Clooney's thickness and my hair was always like a little thin and now I got volume. The best way to deal with hair loss, which as you know, more than 50 million men in America suffer from some sort of hair loss,

is to be preventative. That's why you have to deal with keeps because they offer a free, simple, stress-free way. I meant stress-free. Nothing's free in this world. It's stress-free, not free. But treatments start as low as $10 per month and they offer generic versions. This is how it goes. I went through it, okay? What you do is you do a virtual consultation. I mean, that's a great thing. You don't got to go anywhere. You don't got to talk to some elaborate. Everyone's like, how do I do this? Because people who have hair loss, they're like, all right,

how do I go about, you know, being preventative, dealing with my hair loss? Boom. You do a virtual consultation with a doctor who lets you know what's the dollars and after he tells you what's the dollars he sends you discrete packaging that gives you proven results take a look at me as your example if you're ready to take action and you'reumes to receive your first month of treatment for free. So maybe I was telling the truth. The first month is free, free of charge. So all you got to do is start and the beginning's free. It's beautiful.

That's keeps.com slash fumes to get your first month free. Okay? Remember the slash fumes. Very easy. Keeps.com slash fumes. And these prescribed medications will be delivered right to your home after your online doctor consultation. So hop on board and get that full head of hair like Yanni. There you go. Little Sunday scaries, CBD gummy. Now I'm ready to talk about how Yanni deals with

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So remember, go to sundayscaries.com to get 25%. That's a quarter off your order using the promo code Giannis. Okay, do away with your scaries. Get a good night's sleep. You want to talk to that girl? Give yourself a little advantage. CBD, you come over, you're like, hey, babe, what's up? She's like, God, this guy's relaxed. God, this guy's together and cool.

And then you just go, thank you, Sunday Scaries. Sundayscaries.com, promo code Giannis to get unicorn jerky so I did a fun shoot at for HBO Max legendary Stan Lantham Stan Latham of Def Comedy Jam Fame and

Don L Rawlings hosted it it was a lot of fun it was comedy in a subway car so I think that's accurate. I think it's nice to finally show what stand-up comedy,

what kind of an addiction it is. Because stand-up comedy will be around no matter what type of nuclear war or asteroid hits us. There'll be three things that survive and evolve. It'll be rats, cockroaches, and stand-up comics performing for rats and roaches. We always find a way. We are the rats and roaches of the entertainment business.

You're never going to see Natalie Portman. She's going to be like, what? You notice during the quarantine, there was no actors going like, we gotta continue to perform. Let's put on a play outside in the park and let's do Shakespeare. Come see a free concert.

It's Gary Oldman and Natalie Portman doing Death of a Salesman because they just need to act. No, stand-up comics were like, we need to perform. So you don't have to pay me. You don't have to give me any money. I will go to your outdoor backyard space and put on a show for your dog and your grandmother and you.

There was comedians on top of rooftops. They were on bridges. They were in fucking subway cars. They were all over the place doing shows in the park how do you do a show where there's no fucking walls where there's no difference between the audience and people living their life you can't do a fucking show there you need at least an amphitheater some sort of partition between you and your event and the rest of the world or you're just a homeless person screaming into the night comedians stop it why did we do a show in a fucking subway car okay i told them i was like this crowd is good but you're not as good as the

f train was at the 12 o'clock show and i did the late show last night. It was for three dead people and one of them peed on the floor when I was doing my closer. Why are we on a train? Who's coming up with these fucking ideas? Can't we just leave standup in a room? Live? Maybe on television, fine. On the internet in clips.

Why are we putting them? Bo Burnham just did a fucking special with no audience in his living room okay the wheel is circular you can't make it into a square and then expect your car to move forward it's a circle some things are done some things are done. Some things are done. Sometimes there's nothing outside of the box. Okay? Sometimes everyone's going right because there is no left.

Okay? Stand-up comedy needs a fucking audience and it needs a partition. It needs some type of fucking partition. Preferably a roof. Preferably a fucking roof. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes there is no thinking out of the box. There was another kid, I can't remember his name,

where he did his HBO special, where he did his jokes as a monologue with no audience, and we tried that out. That doesn't work, dude. That's like playing baseball without the other team. Can we stop? So people are talking about Bo Burnham's special. I love Bo Burnham.

He's a talented fucking kid who suffers from giantism. And he's very talented. And he plays the keyboard. And he fucking makes people happy. But I'm not going to sit down and watch a comedy special that was shot in your living room with no audience. It's not a comedy special. That's called mental fucking illness. If I just turn on my camera and say, welcome to my show, everybody, and it's not even streaming live, I mean, what are we doing? Yanni's eyes are that close because he was already abducted by aliens, cuz.

Giannis, please marry me tomorrow afternoon. I need an excuse to get out of work. Okay, I will. Giannis' eyes are closer than him and Chrissy. Well, then they're far apart. I'm kidding. Anyway. There are, cruise ships are back.

Thank God. What would we do? What would we do without obese people filing onto an obese ship to eat food that makes them even more obese while they have to rub antibacterial lotion all over their body every 10 steps they take? You've never been in a cruise ship, right? So what you do is you get on there and then there's just a slave class of people who work on the ship and live on the ship. They tend to be from like the Cayman Islands or Guana,

some shit like that, or a Filipino. And they just like live on the ship, which can't be healthy. You know what I mean? To live on a ship. And it's like live on the ship, which can't be healthy. You know what I mean? To live on a ship. And it's just an incubator for germs where they're aware of that. So, because when you're out to sea and you're just trapped indoors

with everybody, that's how viruses spread, obviously. And so every 10 feet, there's just someone going, washy, washy, washy, washy. And they just squirt, you know, what is it called?

Antibacterial. What's that called? Purell. Purell. What the fuck? Purell. But what is it? Antibacterial.

What is it called? Huh? Hand sanitizer. Are you 100% sure I don't have a brain tumor? You're not a doctor. You can't diagnose it. You're fine. So, yeah, every 10 steps, you just get hand sanitizer. And then you go out to a doctor. You can't diagnose it. You're fine. So, yeah, every 10 steps, you just get hand sanitized.

And then you go out to a pool. You go out to a pool. So they simulate the land. They simulate the land in the sea. So you're out to sea, first of all, where the Russian submarines can get you, okay? And you're simulating a resort.

Why not just go to the fucking resort? If you want to be fat and not explore anything culturally, and you want to sit by a pool and drink micheladas until you get bloated like a goddamn dead body that the mafia threw in a fucking canal, why not just go to Cancun to the hard rock and watch me go crazy and take my fucking bathing suit off and pass out face down in a sauna

or do water aerobics next to some Brazilian guy who's drinking himself to death. If you see a guy by himself at an all-inclusive resort, he's there to slowly kill himself. He lost all his money investing in Bitcoin. He's gambled away his kid's tuition and he's gone. Let me just do this fucking leaving Las Vegas style. Okay. I'm going to go to Cancun, all hard rock, $1,100. The thing about all inclusive is it works great for Americans who are spoiled, who like to get value. They like volume over quality. It's great for fat, fucking obese, spoiled Americans. And

it's also great for alcoholics. I mean, you're basically saying, hey, dude, you want to attend an open bar for seven days? Nobody, because when you go to an all-inclusive, there's couples who are like not that well off and they just, you know, they need to be, you know, there's a Cancun class, okay? There's a Cancun class that rests

right between the middle class and the lower class. It's a Cancun class, okay? There's a Cancun class that rests right between the middle class and the lower class. It's called Cancun class, which means you do all inclusives in Cancun. And you're in between lower class and middle class. You could afford $1,100 off peak in August when it's 125 degrees to fucking stuff your face with infinity amount of food. You're Cancun class.

So you go there and you see Cancun class people, right? It's like couples, you know, who have like two jobs and are there for six days. And it's the only week they've had off in the whole decade. And they go there and they drink themselves into oblivion. And plus Kelly Chestnut is playing at the fucking Cancun hard rock or whatever. Kelly Chestnut, one of the fucking, well, I mean, every country singer's name is Chestnut to me. So Randy Chestnut's playing and you go there and you know, you crack a beer and your jeans are falling off and your boot fell in the river. In the river in the river and then there's just single guys in speedos from every country around the world norway sweden and you always

go like hey man if you live in such a beautiful place like norway why would you be here in the summer dude you only get like three months of sunshine in the norwegian summer why don't you just go enjoy like those beautiful mountains the the 12 hours of sunlight, you know? What are you doing in Cancun, Mexico at the Hard Rock Cafe, which is basically the wet willies of hotels? Why are you here? And then you go, oh, you're an alcoholic who knows a good deal when he sees one. This is a 24-hour open bar for you. And those are the two types of people you see at an all-inclusive. Alcoholics and people who are in the Cancun class.

Yanis, gracias por casarte conmigo. Eres un hombre, hombre. Si noto y me gustaría ser tu esposa. So, who knows what she just said. Fauci opening up cruises, praying for the grand Cayman variant to validate himself and downplay his emails. Anthony Fauci, dude, your emails would have never even been asked for

by the Freedom of Information Act if nobody knew who you were. Again, why are you a content creator now? Do you know that even Anthony Fauci is a content creator now? He's creating content, dude. He's writing a book. He's appearing on every news program with his Long Island accent going, you know, this is my last hurrah. You know, I'm 80 years old, but dude, you're a squeak. You're going to live to 100. Short guys live forever, dog. So don't worry about it. But why

were you ever in front of the cameras? Why was Fauci? I'll tell you why. Because they hated Donald Trump so much and they wanted him out so bad that Fauci became like the face of the pandemic that opposed Trump going, don't worry. Don't worry, French kiss. It's fine. You know, it's just a Chinese flu. Whatever. And Fauci was like, no, you're going to die. Go inside.

Put your mask on. Don't put your mask on. Put your mask on. And he's just not a PR educated spokesperson, like we've said many times. So, you know, his emails revealed that he was saying, ah, the mask doesn't do that much. Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn't. He contradicted himself a bunch of times. And part of it is that, look, the science on this has been ongoing. So you have to understand that. But that's why you shut the fuck up. When you don't know, shut the fuck up. Say less. The most dangerous

guy in jail is not the fucking guy who's going, yo, man, what the fuck you looking at, dog? I kill everybody up in this piece. No, the most dangerous guy in the jail is the guy sitting there quiet going, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, okay? Because you don't know what that motherfucker's about. The less you say, the more powerful you are, the more credence everyone gives what you say, the more authority you have. When you run in your mouth to create content,

you're going to slip up. Trust me. You're like a comedian who does every podcast under the sun and then gets a TV deal and they go, wait a second. You said this on episode 3,197 of Legion of Skanks. Do you remember that? And you're like, fuck, I don't remember that. Goddamn, Luis J. Gomez, you did it to me again. You're putting out too much content, Fauci. You're putting out too much content. You're oversaturating yourself. You're overstaying your welcome, dude. I mean, who has been on the news more than fucking Fauci?

You know? Every fucking news program has an interview with Fauci, and they're always softball interviews too, like, hey, how you dealing with this critique and pressure, dude, the public is stupid, but they ain't that stupid, okay, once you lie to them once, and you started with that mask lie, telling people don't wear a mask because you were concerned about the supplier you were concerned about the supply of masks you were concerned i have about 50 billion plastic cups in here because i don't want to do dishes and i'm too old to care about the environment but you were scared we were gonna run out of fucking mix and then we see the email that you say you're not even sure if the mask protects you or whatever but you were scared we were going to run out of fucking mix?

And then we see the email that you say you're not even sure if the mask protects you or whatever, even though you sold this whole thing. Well, hey, it doesn't protect you. It protects me. I'm not even sure. I'm not even sure who's protected. You know what I'm saying? Have you read all the science on it?

They're confused. They're going, okay, look, when I wear a mask, it doesn't protect me. It protects you from me. And then you're going, okay, look, when I wear a mask, it doesn't protect me. It protects you from me. And then you're going, what? Wait a second. If you have a mask, aren't I protected from you? You're going, no, you're protected from me, but I'm not protected from you. So if I'm wearing a mask and I'm not protected from you, but you're protected from me and you're wearing a mask, okay, and you're not protected from me, you're protected from me. and you're wearing a mask, okay? And you're not protected from me. You're protected from me.

See, I'm getting confused. I'm getting confused. I thought you wear a mask. I'm protected from you. Also, I can't smell your farts, which it was fucking libertarianism for the farts during quarantine. Let them rip right in the middle of the marshals. Free reign, baby. Masks do work on farts.

We're not 100% sure how efficacious they are with corona, but they do hover at about 97% keeping you safe from the smell of my fucking farts. And the way I was eating during the quarantine, whoa! Hummin excited to share this sponsor with you i use them this is the best in the modern world with all the amenities of modernity you know you don't have time to go to the supermarket or the money. It's so expensive to get all your products and make your own stuff. Dude, HelloFresh has the meal ready for you to cook. It makes it fun. I love HelloFresh. You get pre-measured ingredients

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Let me X you a question. Make no mistake, Whitney Cummings has been sending Fauci nudes all year. Comment roulette. I look down, I read what I see. Joe Biden has just committed to sending 500 million doses of the Pfizer vaccine to the rest of the world. See, Ilhan Omar, we're not so bad. We do some good things.

Ilan Omar, Michelle of the squad, right? She's number two. She's number two, okay? If AOC's Justin Timberlake, she's JC Chazes, all right? Chris Kirkpatrick is the one with the glasses. I don't even know her name. And Ilhan Omar has come under fire because she tweeted about how we've all done atrocities.

In her defense, she said Hamas, Afghanistan. She listed a bunch, right? She was like Afghanistan, United States, Israel. So she came under fire because the critics are saying she's making them all equivalent. Are all atrocities equivalent? Yes, they are all equivalent. Is Israel overall equivalent to Hamas?

There is where the controversy comes. Is Israel fully represented by the people who are taking those homes? Not 100%. Israelis aren't unified on what's going on. Some of them are very critical of the government. And the government a lot of times isn't involved or is involved depending on who's at the helm, what administration is in. It's a democracy. It's a democracy. Is a democracy better than a theocracy or a dictatorship? is a democracy better than a theocracy or a dictatorship for the time being for the time being is a dictatorship or theocracy probably inevitable

probably humans can't handle democracy either but it's not like that means theocracy or dictatorship is good either it's all bad it's all bad we probably should have never evolved past chimp and we'd have to be having a great time at pygmy chimps fucking picking gnats out of each other's hair and swinging from trees eating bananas how much better would it be if you never had a bacon cheeseburger you wouldn't know what you would be missing that banana would be the most delicious five-star fucking restaurant you ever had you'd be sharing a banana with some chick that you're about to bang. You'd hump her and move on to the next one,

and the pygmy chimps would never think any different of you or judge you at all because you're a different religion. I mean, they don't have different religions. They're fucking simple, the pygmy chimps. They live in peace, and they fuck a lot. We probably should have never evolved past chimps. Thank you, dogs. This is all your fucking

fault. Because without dogs, we would never have evolved. Never involved. Did I miss an MikaDeuce0815 says, did I miss an amenities of modernity? Not yet. But I just said one.

Cuz, be a dictator and take over the damn country. Okay, I will. So Ilhan Omar, is that a false equivalency is the point? Is calling America and Hamas are putting their atrocities together and indicting both? Does it imply that they're both the same? I don't think so. I think it depends on how you read the tweet.

You know? I think it depends on how you read the tweet. The problem comes when you're going like, aren't you a congresswoman? Like, shouldn't you just be focusing on us and what's best for us? And who hasn't committed atrocities, Ilhan Omar? You're from Somalia. You don't think there's atrocities being committed in Somalia that have nothing to do with the United States or Israel or Hamas? Everyone commits atrocities. The point is, we're the first world over here where you desperately escape to. We commit a lot less atrocities. And sometimes in the adult world, atrocities are the unfortunate, unfortunate side effect of trying to do good. Okay? You can't sometimes go in and help by saying, hey guys, I'm here to talk to you and try to convince you to do the right thing.

I'm here to talk to you and try to convince you to do the right thing. Sometimes you have to speak softly but carry a big stick. And by stick, I mean stealth bomber. It's what it is.

It's the adult world. I am, Ilan Omer, you definitely, definitely are a unique congresswoman in that you're looking out for everyone else um because other countries don't think about us they don't say hey what's going to be best

for america you know what else they don't do they don't send us 500 fucking million vaccines on the house vaccines no no no no no no okay i I'm Robert De Niro on Goodfellas. No, no, no. Rest of the world. Third world. No, no. It's my bar. Drinks.

They're on the house. Vaccines? On the house. We're kind of a good country to do that. We're looking out for other people. That's a good thing. And that's the thing people often forget about the israeli palestinian conflict is it's between hamas hamas fired rockets that's what

started this and then you're going there they're firing rockets because some dudes are stealing houses yes that is true too but also all the arab countries attacked attacked Israel in what year was it? 1967? And tried to wipe it off the face of the earth. And also, all those countries don't want to recognize it and wipe it off the face of the earth. And also, recently, only a few of those neighboring countries only recently officially recognized Israel a country. So it's not all one-sided.

Are there crazy people in Israel who are just jacking homes and living on their frontier and encroaching further and further onto that territory? Yes. Did they take more territory during that war of 67 or whatever it was? Yes. Did they start that war? No.

Did they open it up for Jews to continue to come because it's a safe place for Jews? Because Jews are always fucking discriminated against for being a smart tribe and just doing their thing. And people always blame them for some fucking reason because they're the head of the class and people hate the head of the class. Yes. Was there a Holocaust? I hate to break it to you, Owen Benjamin, there was, okay? I think my family was in Crete where the people who did the Holocaust came and killed all my relatives. So, oh, I felt that. Oh, I felt the burn. I felt the Greek burn. I'll never be sane. I'll never be sane because my mother's from the island of Crete. And if you don't know about us,

Google it. We're like the Sicilians and the Greeks. Even the Greeks want to stay away from us. We're fucking nuts. We're not crazy. I do a character where I pretend to be trans. I'm not right in the head, but I have a fucking fire of independence in me from my

philotimo that can never be extinguished. Eleutheria et thanatos. Which in Greek means, give me freedom or death. See, even the fucking Americans took that from Greece. Thomas Paine didn't invent that shit. Okay? Eleutheria et thanatos. Give me freedom or give me death.

Because when I started talking about the Nazis, I felt ready to go. I felt ready to go. I felt ready to just step up to someone and get beat up. So it's a complicated situation over there. And the problem is the irony of what the amenities of modernity have done for us

is they've provided us with so much information and made information so available to anyone, free of charge. You don't need to be able to afford a school. You don't need anything. You can get every single piece of information that virtually has ever been disseminated onto the human race on your phone. And the irony is we've become more childish. We've researched less, we read less, and we filter less through the adult mind, which understands nuance. Everything now is memes and hashtags and slogans.

And anything that variates from your meme, hashtag, or slogan is considered to be Nazi ideology. If you don't stick to the exact slogan and you variate a little bit into some of the gray zones of the adult world, you are ultimately either a Nazi or a communist. So that is what the internet has done. But the internet, to me, net positive. It's allowed a lot more people to make it in their fields and to get their name out there. The problem is, you know, it's spoiled us and comfort

corrupts always. So people don't challenge themselves to think outside their box, to talk to other people. And that's why Terry McAuliffe in Virginia, who is being called a conservative Democrat, I guess you got to label him that because now there's a progressive wing of that party that really ran the tables statewide in their 2017 elections, 2020. On all levels, there was a lot of progressive democrats and and diverse you had a trans member you had like uh latino black whatever it was and uh terry mccullough

who's uh terry mccullough who's the former governor of virginia democrat now just won the primary against five other Democrats with a 62% majority. What does that mean? People are reading into it. Are they going like, is he the Joe Biden? Is he the Joe Biden? And did he get this land side victory in the primary? And maybe the end of these progressive dreams in virginia although some progressive things were achieved uh wider access to medicaid voting rights laws that expanded stuff etc etc there was some progressive things that were enacted because there's a progressive governor progressive local officials who got elected go google all their fucking names who can remember them all and they're going like,

did he get elected like Joe Biden, is this like, did he get elected with the help of the black community, because he does have the support of the black community, because, sorry to tell you, the black community may not be as progressive as you want to think they are, you know, a lot of them are Christian, they grew up in the church of God in Christ and Protestant churches. And they have some social conservative views in a lot of ways that don't align with all the breakdown of the family and all that shit that the progressives want. The progressives just want America

to look like a fucking rave. Let's be honest. They just want to turn it into a rave where you can't tell who's who. Everyone's got purple hair and everyone is on Molly. And black, black, the black community may not be down for that.

They want it to turn more into a sexy and grown kind of, you know, nostalgic Keith Sweat concert. So it's what it is. Little Mary J. Blige. Yeah, feel me? So with the support of the black community, Terry McAuliffe,

Terry McAuliffe has won with a 62% majority, the Democratic primary, which is going, which signals kind of an end of that progressive dream in Virginia. People are wondering like, what is this? What does that mean? They went progressive and it looked like things were headed that way. And then Joe Biden, boom, he wins the primaries, boom. Bernie's ousted by a fucking lot. And now all these progressive advances seem like they may be turning back the other way and the quote-unquote moderate democrats might be making a comeback or the conservative democrats

might be making a comeback what's going on how do we read into this what is the zeitgeist telling us what's the word in the street um the word on the street progressives is like you're definitely the loudest but you're definitely a huge fucking minority you are the crazy one on the subway so everyone hears you everyone knows you're there and everyone is scared of you thinking oh my god they're gonna cancel me or they're going to go back and hear something I said, or I'm going to lose my job and stuff like that. And so everyone is quiet.

It's the same way why a guy is short and fucking ugly and not airing looking as Hitler could take over a country because he had a big fucking mouth. If you got a big mouth and you're confident and manipulative and a big mouth and fearless because you're a psychopath, you can get away with a lot because people don't want to deal with you. It's the crazy person on the train. They're like, hey man, I'm just trying to get home to my kids. I don't want to make my day now about you. So you get away with a lot. You scream the most, you're the loudest.

But the message is the overwhelming majority of yes, even left-wing people do not agree with you about a plethora of issues. And I expect to see more of a backlash against what has become the dominant culture in corporate America and entertainment in Washington. It's an overcorrection. And it's not something that you can say we didn't see coming because that's what humans do. Like my good friend, Jesse Scatoro, one word, one word, Jesse Scatoro on the gram tells me,

there's no end to up. And as the old Roman proverb goes, the key is to know when to put down your sword and pick up your plow. People can't do it. Once you become a fighter, you don't know how to stop.

I think most of the progressive wars have been won. So tone the fuck down. Let people have a father. Let a man be a guy if he wants to be. Nobody cares if you're trans or if you want to get married and you're gay. I think the latest poll, trans or if you want to get married and you're gay. I think the latest poll, 70%, 70% of Americans are in favor of gay marriage. You fucking won that. Welcome to the club. Now you guys can't fuck on Grindr as much without a fight. Congratulations. No, but you get some benefits and shit like that. I get it it but most people are in the middle and they lean either left and right and the people who shout the loudest on the left and the people who shout the rightest loudest on the right these fucking morons have made everyone in the middle

who leans left or leans right feel like there's something wrong with them. And I'm here to say the opposite is true. And this is a safe place for you. If you're in the middle and you lean left, I take you in. You're one of my own. If you're in the middle and lean right, I take you in. I doeth not call you Nazi.

I willeth unto youeth never, looketh downeth on youeth. And forgive, I forgive as long as you donate to patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays, the church of longology. I accept you, my brothers and sisters in the middle who lean left and lean right. And if you lean left and you want that healthcare and you support social services and you support LGBTQ issues and you support whatever it is on the left, I accepteth you with. As long as your high taxes

still give you enough to pay $5 at patreon.com slash yannilongdays, where now I will also be doing the rigorous podcast with Marisa. So if you're a Marisa fan, I'm trying to use Marisa now to get you to pay for the Patreon content. So new episodes of Squeaky Clean,

which is the bonus episode of the podcast, every week on Thursday, patreon.com slash yannilongdays. So if you want another dose of Yanni Long Days, sign up. It's only five bucks to access that episode, weekly episode, patreon.com slash yannilongdays.

Support the show. Become a producer of the show. Become a long hauler. Don't be a fucking dude. You got me? Now, I'd like to give a shout out, of course, to Eastside Cheesecakes, who, believe it or not,

if you go to their gram right now, has made a key lime cheesecake for your holiness yanni long days so um why not send that to jesse's house too he's like yeah send that um so east side cheesecakes on the gram okay all one word east side cheesecakes give it up for julia and gregory. Another two people who migrated from New York to Los Angeles and they're making cheesecakes and they are blowing the fuck up and just go follow their gram. It's food porn. It's delicious. Everyone knows cheesecake is the goat of fucking cakes. It's either ice cream cake or cheesecake. Enough of the fucking muffin cakes.

It's a fucking enough. I don't want more bread. I want cheesecake with sugar or I want ice cream. I want fudgy to wear or I want Eastside cheesecakes. So go support them. Eastside cheesecakes, Eastside cheesecakes.com. Order a cheesecake. They're in the Los Angeles area. You guys got to go fucking natural, natural. You got to go fucking natural natural you got to go national stop fucking around man come on man go national go big or go home also brought to you by blue agave uh one of my favorite restaurants in bay ridge brooklyn support local if you're listening to this podcast and you live in the new york city area go fucking check bay ridge it's where we stomp around. You may even see me at Blue Agave. Sit outside.

Blue Agave, Bay Ridge is the gram. Give it up for Joseph DeMonte. Hey, Ma, let me a couple dollars. Okay, I'm gonna fucking open a joint. Paying cash. I don't know. They accept cards. So go to Blue Agave in Bay Ridge on 3rd Avenue.

Then we got, of course, Max, Mr. Good Guy Long. Good Guy's Refrigeration. What are you going to do? You're going to hire a bad guy to fix your fridge? Are you going to hire a good fucking guy? Are you going to hire a fucking guy who's good and sits in his truck and listens to this podcast right now? He's listening to this podcast right now.

He's getting a call. Hello? Yeah, this is Max. I'll be there in five minutes. What happened? The fucking ice tray's not working. And he puts on his fucking Superman cape and he comes in his truck and he fixes your fridge. The guy fixes fridges and I love him.

Max, Mr. Good Guy Long. Good Guy's Refrigeration. So that's what you hit him up. Good Guy's Refrigeration. He's in seattle and palm springs so if you listen to this podcast and you live in those two areas there's only one guy who's fixing your fridge and he ain't gonna be a bad guy then we got exclusive auto shipping.com jared is the most screwed in member we have because i think i've seen like an exclusive

auto shipping.com commercial on abc so hit up seen like an exclusive auto shipping.com commercial on ABC so hit up Jared at exclusive auto shipping.com nationwide they move your car you need to move your wheels you got a grandmother or a mother-in-law you want to move out of town she's in a wheelchair call exclusive auto shipping.com they'll come pick the old fucking bag of tricks up and ship her out to Phoenix on the top of a fucking car vacation style Chevy chase. She'll pass away on natural causes. So if you need to move a car, exclusive auto shipping.com, get your free quote. Tell them long day sent you. Then of course, mine and Jesse's favorite, um, Rob's mental playground. It truly is a mental playground. Rob's Mental Playground.

It truly is a mental playground. Okay? You go to his Instagram, it looks like it's in the walls of Bellevue. The kid is fucking wild, and I love him. If a hyena was a person, it would be Rob at robsmentalplayground.com,

YouTube, Rob's Mental Playground, and the gram, Rob's Mental Playground. Go buy a fucking print from this kid. All right? Keep him in business so he can keep supporting me because he's the funnest sponsor we have and i want to give a special special

shout out to our first big glue gunner who joined mike milanov all right this is a kid i've been dming with on twitter and he's a wild wild child okay his name is dimitar my glue gun is bigger than yanni the bulgarian stallion wasting money equal to five small business sponsors bulgaria is better than greece milanov guess what bubba's you join at that level i agree with you okay i am now bulgarian as well a lot of people they forget bulgaria Now they will remember because of Mike Milanov. Go to his Instagram. It's FixNation, T-H-I-Z-N-A-T-I-O-N. If you don't know how to spell nation, you're probably a fan of this show. FixNation. Check out my gram. You'll be seeing a video I'll be making for him there welcome to the long haulers

you are now king you are king of the long haulers you're number one you're the vladimir putin of the long haul gang bubba you're in it your hours are 25 in a day you You are Mr. Long Days. And now for our new Patreon members, we encourage you to write a funny name down, try to make it into the Hall of Fame. We have some great Hall of Famers already. And thank you for joining patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days. Our newest long haulers give it up for mom made me proud by letting yanni crack her open until i found out she thought so that's a kid who didn't finish his train of thought welcome my brother i love you then we got ann straight to the oven frank god damn it um petrit Ismali, welcome. How you doing?

Then we got Skyler, the skin flute playing squeak. Then we have Bird. Bird joined. Welcome, Bird. Then we have Ryan Neiman. Welcome, Ryan. Alex, thank you. Bethy L.

Hey, girl. Paul Anatau. Paul Antanao. Paul Ant Anatau. Paul Antanao. Paul Antanao. Paul Antanao. How you doing, Paul Antanao? I think he's an Italian kid. How you doing, Paulie?

Then we got Joey Rodriguez. Que pasa, mi gente? Raul Colom. Que pasa, mi gente? Then we have Nina Wadwa. What kind of name is that? Long Day Old Bagels Cuz. Take note of that one.

I think that's the famer. Don't try to fucking get me with the Day Old Bagels. I'm an expert and I will know. Is there anything more disrespectful? Christopher Childers. Welcome, Christopher Childers. Tyler Rackerd. Welcome. christopher childers welcome christopher childers tyler rackard welcome yanni wazowski yanni wazowski thank you then we got moises shalom then we have uh of course mike milanoff King of the long haulers. Mark, Jeff, David Goulous. David Goulous.

Then we got Soul Joel's heated lap. Hall of Famer for sure. But I don't know if anyone is beating long day old bagels, cuz. Then we got Ismael Santiago. Then we got Glip Glop. Then we got Crip glop then we got crack for jack crack for ker jack for ker how am i supposed to read that it's cracker jack but there's two fours instead of a's so this kid is full-blown franks and beans then we got eric which is spelled eric like a german e-r-i-c-h so it's eric welcome eric then we got plumpagus the wretched

plumpagus the wretched welcome plumpagus then we got bernard bernard lau welcome and then we got make no mistake yanni is john stamos with an extra chromosome here There we have it. Hall of Fame. Then we got Joel. Waneza. Alec Eights. And then Gaius makes. Gaius, make no mistake. Negro hegemon of Siberia. Gaius, make no mistake.

Negro hegemon of Siberia. Some of these kids are full blown. Brother school. Then we got Nate Myers. And here's a good one, Yanni Nagasaki. So that's another Hall of Famer, but of course, the winner obviously goes to Long Day Old Bagels Cuz. So thank you guys, patreon.com slash yannilongdays. Come join the Long Haulers and receive your bonus content over there,

which now includes Mauricio Rodriguez as well as all the other characters you love, including the new one, Long Island Larry. So I'll see you next time.