Yannis Pappas Hour - We Regret The Error

Episode Date: September 26, 2021

Yanni is back with the solo heat. He gives us a long day about the Gabby Petito & Brian Laundrie story, the retraction from The New Republic concerning an article about The Owner of The Stand Comedy Club in NYC that slandered him. Yanni gives it to the French on their hissy fit about America’s & Britain’s Trilateral submarine deal, Jeff Bezos donating a billion for the environment and Yanni’s three policy ideas to clean this country up. It’s LongDays and das was da deal is!For bonus episodes: https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysSponsors:Quiphttps://www.getquip.com/store/products/smart-electric-toothbrush-starter-set?coupon=fumes10&utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=sponsor&utm_campaign=longdays_with_yannis_pappasBabbelhttps://m.babel.comPromo code: FUMESCandidhttps://go.candidco.com/lp/audio/fumes?utm_source=VT&utm_medium=POD&utm_campaign=GROW_XX_SK_SS_PR_XXX_XX_VR_XX&utm_term=XX_US048S_XX_XX_XX_XX_XX_FUMES&utm_content=XX_XX_XX_XX_XX_POD60&auto_apply_promo_code=FUMESButcher Boxhttps://www.butcherbox.com/fumes/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=offline&utm_campaign=GBFL_SEP_2021&utm_term=fumes&utm_content=The show goes out every Sunday morning at 10 am est. to youtube and podcast audio platforms but while it's being recorded the show goes LIVE on Yannis' Instagram!Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappasWebsite - https://www.yannispappascomedy.com/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hello everybody, welcome to Long Days with Giannis Pappas. To be honest with you, I don't know what's going on in the news because there is a white girl who was missing and found dead and I can't even find other news right now. It should offer comfort to people because they can't find the guy. So if you're paranoid the governor and the government is watching you, just kill a white girl in a national park and they will not be able to find you at all. The squad has activated and rejected the Iron Dome payments to Israel. A lot of drama. Put it on Real Housewives. In fact, I'd love to see the squad on Real Housewives. Real Housewives DC, because it's definitely not going to take place in their districts.

They don't go there. What else is going on? French is a little upset. Yeah, I didn't even call them their country's name because I didn't give them respect. France got a little upset that there was a little friend group behind their back. So they got jelly. What is this? A fucking high school cafeteria, France? If the United States and Britain and Australia want to have a little bit of an arms deal going on without telling you, it's not really your business because those are the only countries that will fight if something happens. So shut up, Frenchie, and eat your fries and cheat on your spouses. It's what you do best. What else is going on? Jeff Bezos did a nice thing. He did a nice thing. One billion to fight

climate change. One billion, doesn't matter how many billions you got. You are going to feel that. And thank you, Bezos. Is he not all that evil? Let's talk to the children about it. What else is going on? Reason and logic is not something that the millennials and Gen Z like to engage in. It's definitely more of a boomer thing. the algorithm obeys gen z and millennials wishes and pull you deeper down the rabbit hole so this show has to make a choice are we gonna go woke and start guesting on amanda seals's podcast or are we gonna go hard right and be sponsored by ivermectin this is long, and you know what the fucking deal is. Like I said, it is really hard to get a sense of what is going on in the week when there is a pretty girl with blonde hair missing.

It really is a story girl with blonde hair missing. It really is a story that I struggle to understand. All I know is that it happened in the middle of a national park. And from what I understand, that happens a lot. Kudos to serial killers and rapists who get it. And what I mean by get it is like, look, if you want a chance to get away with the crime, you're going to want to do it in the middle of Yellowstone National Park. Also, if you go visit Yellowstone National Park, don't talk to strangers. Okay. I know hippies like to fucking talk to each other. All right. If you're going to a national park to hang out with nature, you're a naive person. You're one of those young people who's like, let's do drugs, stare at the sky, sit on a mountain,

and be one with nature. That's for children, okay? Paying bills is for adults. So I got to worry about my Patreon page. I'm a little behind. I don't got time to do acid and maybe get raped in a national park. That just lets you kids know, you idealistic kids who want to go travel cross country, you want to stare at fucking skies and try to talk to Jesus, that everything comes with a cost. That was a real adult lesson in a very youthful, idyllic moment. And it happens to a lot of people who supposedly go to these national parks because killers know that, hey, if I'm going to kill or rape, I want to be in the middle of the wilderness for miles and miles and miles and miles.

You should, first of all, have a gun. Let's talk about some more of your youthful naivete. I don't want to make this show yelling at young people, but maybe the algorithm will put me in that genre because right now it doesn't know what to do with me. Okay. We did one episode with Dan Soder and then we swing it all the way to Dr. Deborah So. And you guys are going, Yanni, what lane are you in? I am in the lane of Yanni. This show is in the lane of Yanni. Okay. It's in the lane of trying to be reasonable, which is definitely not fucking lit right now. Being reasonable is not fucking lit. Okay. There's one image of a guy on a fucking horse using his reins to move him out of Haitian guy. And all of a sudden, slavery's back.

Can we exercise a little discretion before we just publish it out to the fucking empty heads who consume it? Freedom without responsibility is tyranny. You are being a tyrant if you just go on your platform

right away and you say, ivermectin cures COVID. People are dying. Do a little research. If you go on your feet immediately, you go, slavery's back. Look at what they're doing at the border. You're being tyrannical. Freedom is tyranny without responsibility.

If you respect freedom, exercise a little fucking responsibility, would you, God damn it? Will you sacrifice one Helix commercial for just the truth, for just some self-respect? Jesus Christ. By the way, I just accepted a sponsorship from a very questionable company. So don't listen

to me. Get that money while you can. It's a going out of business sale. America right now is Nordstrom's and we are going out of business. You walk in and all you see is magic marker signs that say 40% off. So grab that fucking betting set, grab whatever whatever you can we are going out of business right now that's what america feels like it's a going out of fucking business sale so bezos gave a billion away what did i start this podcast on what was the first thing i was talking about? Missing her on the park. Exactly. Thank you. Thank you.

You see, I get sidetracked. By the way, this morning, I had the electrician over my house. I'm getting sidetracked again, but that's what you people love. I had the electrician, and I had to pay him by check right out of bed, and I forgot my signature. Has that ever happened to you, or should I get a CAT scan? Come on, man. I couldn't remember my

signature and I was doing it. And I just was writing why. And I was like, what is my signature? And then I had coffee and I remember my signature. So either I have a brain tumor or I'm really dependent on caffeine in the morning. I mean, really dependent on it, which is very possible. It's one of the two or both or both a or C, all of the above. It was a fun moment where I had to rip up four checks because I couldn't sign them. And then finally, I wrote just a squiggle line and I said, all right, deal with it. Now I'm probably going to get a call from the tax fraud department at Chase. I'm used to those. So don't worry about it. I'm used to those when I try to zell people. What an era now where you gotta,

you wanna keep your limit low? Okay, here's the dilemma we are. You wanna keep your limit low? Okay, here's another advice to young people out there. Keep your limit on your credit cards low, your debit cards low, in case it gets stolen. People can't fucking go out and buy sneakers from Drew because he's selling them for $2,500.

That's his main job. But you also have to like once in a while transfer money to people like I had to to Jesse yesterday and I had to give him some of the money on Zelle and some of the money on PayPal or some shit. So it's very funny how you have to bring out your calculator and what did I end up paying you?

17 cents on fucking PayPal? So it's a real oxymoron in this era because you want to keep that credit low. So if you go to a national park, guys, bring a gun. Don't go to a national park without a gun, not just for the serial killers that hang out there and live off the land, but also national parks make it a thing to preserve the beautiful predators of our environment that we have removed where Homo sapiens have settled so our children and your little dumb fucking dogs are safe. It's really a tragedy when they breed those dogs that little. Dogs don't want to be that little. You turn those dogs into Joe Pesci. Chihuahuas are the Joe Pesci of dogs. They will attack, pit bulls, anything

because they live their lives, freak the fuck out. Imagine having the DNA of a wolf, but then you look in the mirror and you're a midget. You're the size of a bunny. You're going to have a mental illness. You're the size of a bunny. You're going to have a mental illness. That's going to give you some body dysmorphia. Chihuahuas are insecure animals with serious body dysmorphia. It's actually pretty funny to put that aggressive predator DNA into something the size of a bunny, and then just some fucking girl in Los Angeles holds it.

It's going, like, that dog needs to take Prozac. That dog's going, who am I? Who the fuck am I? A wolf could fuck me and we could reproduce, but I'm the size of a large rat in New York City and I'm sitting on some girl's Chanel purse. What the fuck is going on? Is it safe?

Is it dangerous? What are all these things coming at me? And why did the dog that just passed me look like a fucking elephant why do we do that it's it's horrible what we do to chihuahuas dogs should not be that small also bulldogs dogs are supposed to have noses so i mean why would we breed dogs that are gonna have sleep ap apnea? Why would you do that? Stop it. Adopt, don't shop. Bring a gun because the predators are in the natural preserve.

And if John Wayne Casey's protege doesn't attack you, then wolves will or a bear will. So I know what this kid was doing. All right. This kid's name was Brian Landry. Now you look at this kid and you go scroll on his Instagram. He's a fucking psychopath. You can just tell he's into clowns and all that shit. You know, he, you know, and internet sleuths are all over him. By the way, we've defunded the police so much that guess, guess how we found out that, uh, that her body was there because some internet sleuth

saw a video of another tourist in the national park who was passing their van, Brian Landry and Gabby Potato. By the way, dumb fucking couple from Long Island. So, you know, but give them credit.

They left Long Island, which doesn't usually happen. People from Long Island treat the rest of the world like the Truman Show. They get to the fucking, they get to the city and like, I'm nervous. I got to go back to Syosset. I can't. There's too much traffic. MS-13's on the windows. I got to go backwards. So, but this just shows you how naive they are to the outside world because they're from Long Island. So this is probably their first time off the island. He lives in Florida now. So that he turned out to be a killer,

I mean, par for the course. He probably had COVID infected in his brain too. I mean, if you live in Florida, you probably just, COVID lives in you like a bot fly in your head. Yes, I went down a rabbit hole of watching bot files get pulled out of heads because that's what the internet does, and you just get addicted to stuff. Okay. That's true. He knows what I'm talking about. It's something is weirdly addictive of watching doctors pull bot flies out of people said, you know what a bot fly is? Yeah. This is how wild nature is. Bot flies, they jump on mosquitoes.

They hop on mosquitoes in midair, drop their eggs on them. And then when a mosquito stings you, the botfly's eggs go in your skin and then the botfly larva grows inside your body. And then it leaves like a big hole and you got to pull it out. Otherwise it'll go out on its own after three to five months. They're not mainly in the States. We don't have those types of parasites here. We have other types of parasites like politicians, bankers, internet personalities, podcasters, comedians, a lot of other types, advertising agencies, a lot of other types. You can't get botflies really here for the most part but you can

get you can get had by a stockbroker different type of parasite so this is how much we've defunded police that the police couldn't even figure out where her body was an internet sleuth did that we're basically at the point now we're we're depending on teenage tiktokers to solve crimes for us because that's exactly what happened these kids sifted through all their instagram and that's how much time they have on their fucking hands they sifted through the instagrams of of uh this long island couple they've sifted through the footage of other people and they figured out that there was like a flip-flop on the floor,

who knows, a flashlight, and where the car was. So they went and looked for her body by there. And guess what? She was dead. And I don't know who could have done it. Who could have, how the fuck did the Florida Police department that is control that area let that

kid come home now this is the thing I usually make a lot of jokes about white privilege but let's just score one here for white privilege the fuck they're a childhood couple right the guy returns home without her and the car she's missing okay his parents fucking don't say anything for a while finally they do the police go where is she he's not talking so they leave and let him hang out at the house with his parents, and then somehow stop watching him, and he's able to just escape. How the fuck does that happen? Score one for evidence of white privilege there. They just probably walked in, and his wife, his mother, and wife of his father

probably served him a nice home-cooked meal, and they left and just said, thank you, man. God bless Tim Tebow, and we're out of here. COVID's not you man uh you know god bless tim tebow and we're out of here kovat's not real as long as you vote the right way we're not going to search for your son because we doubt that he did it because he's a good kid and uh i mean who do they think killed it i mean how many times does a girl go missing for a couple days and she just turns up in a fucking mall getting getting a Starbucks coffee

and then sneaking into a Wetzel's Pressel to have a peruse. How many times does that end good when someone's missing? You know what else could have tipped you off? That the boyfriend didn't want to say anything. And they said technically they couldn't arrest him or hold him for questioning

because it wasn't a homicide. It was a missing person search okay i understand you were sticking to the law and florida's got some fun laws which one of them is stand your ground which basically means anyone on your property you can murder so if you kill your whole family all the cops got to do is check whose name's on the deed and if the father pays the bills well technically they were on his property so there's nothing they can do. So if you want to kill your whole family, go see our fucking local sponsor who handles the South Florida region. Move your family there and just make sure you pay the bills. And you will stand your ground.

So apparently that's what they said. It was a missing person's case, so they couldn't really. But you think you might want to keep an eye on the fucking kid? I mean, do you think you might want to keep an eye so he doesn't flee? He's not talking. She's missing. What do you think happened? You think she died of COVID?

Who do you think got her? White supremacists? I mean, there's one fucking suspect. And it's not Michael Vick. and like a week before they had like a they had like a domestic abuse situation where the utah police pulled them over and it's all on body cam footage and here's some more privilege they separated them for the night is this story real dude or is this like a government created story to distract us from something else like maybe arming up with Australia to fight China something's going on because this story seems written by by story editors this seems

like a fucking episode of the Osbournes on MTV or if you're only 20 years old an episode of what's the big reality show The Bachelor whatever your fucking genre is because none of us watch the same shit anymore we're all living on different planets. Whatever fucking reality trash you watch that isn't reality, it seems like that. Jersey Shore or fucking whatever that basketball kid who's like a squeak, but he's nice, and he has a reality show on now like Vice, whatever the shit you're watching. I mean, what is going on? So they pull the kids over in Utah, right? She's got like scratches on her face. They were like hitting

each other or something. It was such a bad physical altercation that a passerby called the cops because they were concerned. So the cops stopped them. They separate them. And then they pay for like a night for one of them to stay at a hotel and one of them to sleep in the van. I mean, I got to admit, if I was black, I'm going, what the fuck is going on over here? Okay, what the fuck's going on?

Remember that kid, Dylan Roof, who they like took to go get a burger after he murdered a whole church? Yeah, I mean, you know, you can't just say that these things don't piss people off. And maybe I'm a little more sensitive to this because I was just in Richmond, the home of the Confederacy. I did those shows for the Union. Unlike Shane Gillis, who was there a couple weeks before and just wrote on the wall, Thank you, Shane Gillis.

He did those shows for himself. I did those shows for himself i did those shows for the north i mean what the fuck dude they put one of them up in a hotel am i right can you google that they separated them cops like here's what we're gonna do tonight first of all they took time out of their day to deal with a couple hitting each other they were the body cam footage is like an hour you don't have some other shit to do in Utah? Is there not some fucking Mormon weirdo raping his daughter, trying to create some sort of super cult

that you can go stop? They separate them and they go, we're putting one of you up in a hotel, one of you sleeps in the van. As if that was gonna stop the murder. Good job. But also I don't blame them. Maybe the cops have been defunded so much

that they're like, look, we don't have the apparati to even follow you or write a police report or whatever. But they definitely separated them for the night. And then she disappears. He comes home to Florida and is able to escape. Now, here's the interesting thing. The kid is still on the lam. By the time this episode comes out, he may show up dead or he may get caught somewhere. But I'm rooting for the kid a little bit, and I'll tell you why. Not because I want a murderer to get away. The

murder has already happened. We can't bring her back. But maybe for a bigger cause, maybe this will deflate some of the conspiracy that people have about how the government's watching you. Because the government can't even find this fucking kid. And he's used his cell phone. He went live on Instagram. Again, the police didn't tell us that. Some internet sleuths who were following his account. Can they not track him with his cell phone? They can't find this fucking kid.

He did a decoy. He left his car at some other park. And then he did a live Instagram of like water. So either we're dealing with like the talented Mr. Ripley, like this kid is an evil genius, or we have defunded the police so much that they just don't even operate anymore. So this is good for a few reasons. First of all, that first part I raved about white privilege, but I'm a comedy show. So now let's talk about how this isn't white privilege, okay? Because here's a white kid who they're letting get away with it after he killed a white girl. So he wrote, and spent the night apart. While they both expressed they wanted to separate,

Robbins wrote, Potato kept the van while Lundro checked into a hotel for the evening. Yeah, I saw the body cam fridge while the police said that they were gonna do that. Whether the police paid for it or not, I don't know. They're two kids from Long Island. They probably got a little bit of cash. They probably put it on their fucking PayPal and they separated for the night.

That was the police solution when they stopped him in Utah. But they can't find this kid. I refuse to believe that he's the talented Mr. Ripley and he's that much of an evil genius. Although maybe he is, because like I said, he left his car one place and then he did a quick Instagram video.

Like he went live on Instagram for a second and there was a body of water where he could have, if he was smart, he could have just paid some other kid to take his phone and say, here's $200, go live, go take this ferry and just go live for two seconds and show a body of water. And he's got these kids fucking running around like goddamn Leonardo DiCaprio and catch me if you can.

So part of me wants him to get away with it a little longer because first of all, it's fun. And I know Hollywood's like, keep it going. We're gonna make a movie about this in three two one contact because there's not a tragedy we don't want to benefit from yes that first 9-11 movie was too soon what was it like a year later but also because this could maybe deflate some of the conspiracy that the government is watching you at all times um the government's not watching you at all times, dog. Okay? Who the hell has the goddamn resolve or attention span to pay attention

to your boring life for more than three seconds? I sometimes don't even want to watch my own life, let alone get, even if I was getting paid to watch my life, I'd be like, dog, there's not enough money you could pay me to watch Giannis Pappas sniff his own balls on the couch all day. The government doesn't care about you. Nobody does. You're not

important. You don't have secrets. You're not talking to the Mossad. You have a mental illness. Go take medication. And by medication, I mean, don't support big pharma. Listen to the Rogan podcast and take ivermectin. Put it in your ass. That's another story that's going on now that people are putting ivermectin. Put it in your ass. That's another story that's going on now that people are putting ivermectin in their asshole. I don't buy it because I read two articles, one saying that Scandinavians were putting snooze in their ass. Google this. And another one that said people were stuffing ivermectin in their ass. Now, I don't want to believe Americans or people have gotten that stupid

and we're living in an idiocracy. I want to believe this is a media scheme to make those people feel stupid who are still buying ivermectin. And you are stupid. But I feel like that's got to be propaganda because there's no way people are putting ivermectin in their ass. Please tell me I'm wrong, Drew. Please tell me that article is from Vice or Paste Magazine

or The New Republic, a shit rag. Please don't tell me it'm wrong, Drew. Please tell me that article is from Vice or Paste Magazine or the New Republic. A shit rag. Please don't tell me it's from Reuters or the New York Times or the Washington Post. Jay Harvin 15 says, I heard putting ivermectin in your ass has the same effect as using a tushy bidet.

It cleans your asshole. It takes away the fumes. He's talking about Shane and Brendan with their snooze. Ivermectin gave me autism, says Ludic203. I'm throwing a fucking snooze in. In honor of the Scandinavians who may or may not be putting this in their ass for nicotine. nicotine. The snooze thing is false,

but the rectal administration of ivermectin is true. So apparently people are putting ivermectin in their asshole. Okay, now I'm not one to judge because I did stick a G.I. Joe figure in my asshole when I was young. That might have been the Freudian anal phase.

Have you guys ever stuck anything in your assholes? Every kid at some point. Yes, Jesse? You put your own finger in your asshole, or a girl, to smell it. You know, you really are a fucking top-level pedo hunter. I don't put it in, but yeah, around it to check the fumes. Yeah, we're disgusting when we're alone.

When we're just laying around, it's a fucking constant ball check smell as if the smell is going to change. I just smelled it. Why am I checking again three minutes later? Nobody knows. You just can't stop. It's addictive. Nature made it so your own fumes are tolerable

and other people's aren't but you ever shit so bad that it smells like somebody else's and you're like maybe i have a tapeworm or something because when your shit smells like someone else's that should be on web id web md as maybe a possible threat that you may have a parasite or colon cancer because usually shits are supposed to smell like yours and you know you smell your own shit but once in a while i've had a few where i was like that is making me sick it smells like someone else's maybe i should see a doctor j harvin 15 jesse with his beard looks like santa claus if he only delivered in sacramento paul hill says stick a cigar up your pooper and call it a fumidor.

Jay Harvin, 15, you got some competition, my friend. Paul Hill, good one. Very good one. Comment roulette, you know the deal. I look down, I read whatever I see. Patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays for your bonus episodes every week. Go and join the long haulers. Also, get your tickets to see me in Timonium, Maryland, which is basically outside of Baltimore, and Phoenix,

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better if you even put a little effort into it. So for all the young people out there like to travel, I mean, how great is it that there is now an app like Babbel that can help you learn languages very efficiently? Babbel is the bomb, okay? It's the number one selling language learning app for a reason. They give you these little bite-sized lessons where you learn new language skills that you can actually use in the real world. So it's all about, you know, just having proficiency to start. From greetings, menus, and directions to gaining a deeper understanding of the culture. Seriously, Babbel is a travel essential.

Now, how it works, they give you these 15-minute lessons, which makes it perfect to learn on the go. I mean, when you're learning a new language, you don't want to overwhelm yourself, and that's why the 15-minute lessons are great. I use it to learn Spanish. I took it in school, and I don't speak a lick of it, but it's really great. I'm learning now. That's my mission. I want to be Spanish. I took it in school and I don't speak a lick of it, but it's really great. I'm

learning now. That's my mission. I want to be bilingual. So little by little, I'm getting more proficient in Espanol. The thing that separates Babbel is other language apps use AI for their lessons, but Babbel's lessons were created by an actual person. They use over a hundred language experts to craft their lessons. And that's why the details of them are so good. And that's why they're so proven. You can choose from 14 different languages, including all the good ones,

the ones that sound beautiful, the language romance ones. So if you want to talk dirty in another language and switch it up with your lady, you want to talk in French, you want to talk in Spanish, Italian, or even German, if you're doing a little bit of a harder sex, Babbel's for you, man. Also, they got this great, this is amazing. They got speech recognition technology that helps you improve your pronunciation and accent so you can really nail it and nail those words when you're trying to order in Paris, for example.

There's so many ways to learn with Babbel. They also do games, podcasts, videos, stories, and live classes. So it's very interactive. You get to be proactive. Whatever way you learn best, whatever's working for you, you have your options here in addition to those 15-minute lessons that are so amazing. So start your new language learning journey today with Babbel. So here's the deal. For my listeners, this is what they're offering, and this is great. Everyone should do this. I want you guys to get smarter, okay? Everyone should at least be semi-proficient in another language so we can compete with Europe, where they've learned four languages. Here's what they're doing for my listeners. When you purchase a three-month Babbel subscription,

you'll get an additional three months for free. That's basically you're paying half price, my friends, for six months. So buy three months, get three months free. Six months for the price of threes, not bad. So just go to babbel.com, use the promo code FUMES. That's babbel.com, promo code FUMES. Babbel, language for life. Brushing my teeth is something I always slack on.

That's why I love this new sponsor we have, Quip. I mean, listen, smart technology is better for a reason. Makes it more fun, interactive. You can have goals. You can have games. You can have games. You can have reminders. And Quip has come up with an app and a smart toothbrush that does all of that to ensure that you're brushing your teeth as much as you should. I don't. And that's why I love Quip. So I'm going to start brushing as much as I can. Because, you know, when you go to the dentist, they always tell you one thing, brush

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That's good for you and the planet. So it's refillable. So you don't waste all that plastic. In addition to the brush heads, Clip also delivers toothpaste, mouthwash, floss, gum refills, all those things every three months for $5. Shipping is free. Another good perk. So obviously you save money and skip the hustle and bustle of the in-store shopping. Those are really two great amenities to this product. Two great benefits is it just comes to you and you don't got to think about it. And the shipping's free. So join over 5 million mouths and use Quip. Save hundreds compared to other Bluetooth brushes when you get a Quip smart brush for just 45 bucks. Not expensive at all. This is what you do. To get your Quip or to upgrade it, start getting rewards for brushing your teeth today, guys. Go to quip.com slash fumes to save $10 on Quip smart electronic toothbrushes. So that is getquip.com slash fumes,

and you save $10 on a Quip smart electric toothbrush. That's $10 off, uh go to quip the good habits company so uh who knows what happens by the time that this airs hopefully uh they found the kid dead or alive obviously he did it um i stopped paying attention you know because i knew i was like it's a girl it's a domestic this happens fucking all the time where somebody murders that's basically

the number one reason for murder is some sort of I have a friend whose sister was murdered by a boyfriend it didn't make national fucking news so maybe this is the Patrice O'Neill bit where it's like

why is this such big news? Because she's white. Remember there was like Natalie, Natalie Holloway, quote the great late Patrice O'Neill. He was like, they sent, the whole world was looking for her. And then that year there was a couple of football players who disappeared at the beach. He said, they looked for those motherfuckers for about 10 to 12 minutes. They went down to the beach and they went like this. And they went, They're gone. So there's got to be some truth to it, man. Because this shit happens all the time. Of course he killed her. But it is like every news channel 24 hours

is now. And no, I'm look, I'm exaggerating. I get it. There's some drama to it, some mystery. We don't know what happened, but we kind of do. That's why I'm ragging on it so much. It's like, people are going, we don't know what happened. Was she killed? It's like, of course she was killed. And of course it was him. So that's that. Don't go to a national park unless you're heavily armed

or at least have mace. And bring a chaperone if your boyfriend hits you. Or don't go anywhere or don't date a guy who's violent. How about that? Anyway, rest in peace to her. It's very sad. Yada, yada, yada. Whoever's mad at me, go fuck yourself.

Okay? It's a news story. I don't know the girl. Okay. I'm commenting on a new story. You know, I tweeted something. People like, listen, don't you let her family, let her family mourn. It's like, they're not fucking reading this dude. They're busy mourning. The rest of us still got to entertain people and pay our Pay our bills. Speaking of fucking shit media outlets, Pace Magazine, New Republic, go fuck yourself. Big thing happened in the comedy community.

This is sort of like inside news, but it bears some platforming on my humble show here. This blogger kid, the one that took down, I never remember his name, that took down Shane Gillis' opportunity to be on SNL. And ever since he's been going after comedians, especially Legion of Skanks and whoever has ever been in a building where Gavin McGinnis was in. So if you were in a building where Gavin McGinnis was in. So if you were in a building

and Gavin McGinnis happened to be in that building at some point, you too may be a white supremacist. And he's been writing on how white supremacy is taking over comedy, which I don't see at all. And I'm a comedian, you know? And you don't have to get the other side anymore

to write a article and his articles read like an unhinged facebook post you remember those unhit when facebook was popular and you went to my page and you just saw four paragraphs on martin luther king and you're like aren't you supposed to be a comedian yannis you're losing it and i'm going yes i have to filter myself and learn how to market um his articles read like that. Now he wrote, the article, Paste Magazine is like, you go to their page, they get like two likes on every article, but that shit is still in the Google search. And he put my name in one of the articles and said that something like a bunch of us were right wing media. I mean, what the fuck are you talking about?

media. I mean, what the fuck are you talking about? What's the fucking deal is I would love to fucking choke you out slowly, choke you out slowly, but I can't because you live somewhere. From what I understand, Wayne, that you live in like Montana, somewhere in your mom's house. Will you believe this kid is writing an article that you need to be in the field for from his fucking mom's house in fucking Montana and the New Republic, which used to be a fucking reputable organization, publishes this shit. As it turns out, he accuses my good friend, Chris Italia, owner of the Stan Comedy Club in New York City, the best comedy club in New York, along with Gotham Comedy Club, the two best, mark my words, the two best and only best.

He accuses Chris Italia of being in this ONA subreddit and that they were doing like white supremacy stuff or whatever. I mean, who pays attention to this shit? Turns out the source that he had that was telling him this was a complete mole, was a fake, was a guy pretending to be on his side. And he exposed it and all the emails, totally discrediting this guy. So the New Republic and Pace Magazine, which both have articles from

this dumb fucking kid, had to write disclaimers at the bottom. They didn't even remove the articles. They just wrote disclaimers saying, the last part ends up not being true. And you're going, oh, so you're going to just talk about that last part? You're not going to remove the article from a person who obviously is a fucking horrible reporter? Because let's be honest, if you're reporting on the comedy scene,

that's basically the open mic scene of journalism. You can't get a real job if you're sifting through podcasts to hear Shane Gillis say a slur. You're really a muckraker, brother. You're saving America. So this kid ends up getting totally discredited. They wrote their disclaimers at the bottom. So this kid ends up getting totally discredited. They wrote their disclaimers at the bottom. After this kid ruined Chris Italia's reputation, his business, slandered him.

If Chris Italia doesn't sue, I'm gonna punch him in his fat stomach. You must sue the New Republic and you must sue this kid's family because I know he doesn't have any money. So sue his fucking family. You have to sue. That's the only way to control. You have to do like Trump is doing to his niece right now and sue.

He's suing his niece. That kid loves to litigate. So it ends up being false. You know, it's funny. They put my name in this article, and they didn't even call me for or ask someone else's opinion. They just went with what he said. The magazine didn't even ask me for or ask someone else's opinion. They just went with what he said. The magazine didn't even ask for like a quote or like, you know, it's like that's you can't report like that.

There needs to be consequences. Journalists need to be hung upside down when they when they do something this wrong and slander somebody. Because, you know, nobody's paying attention. When they do something this wrong and slander somebody, because nobody's paying attention. The whole industry in Hollywood isn't going back and reading Chris Italia's Twitter feed to find out that the article was all bullshit. They've already read that he's a Nazi.

So it's like nobody goes back. It's like the Duke Lacrosse thing that I talked about on Rogan. Duke Lacrosse players are now affiliated with rapists, even though that story was completely false. The accusation in our digital era, the media is such a desperate crack whore for clicks that they don't fact check and they just go with it. And in this era, an accusation is good enough to make you guilty. So this is the New Republic editor's note. So this is my favorite editor's note. September 14th, 2021, an anonymous writer published an essay on Medium claiming to have tricked this article's author into believing

that a forum user known as toxic cis white male fat how stupid are you that you're taking your intel from a guy whose fucking name is a troll and it's an obvious troll it's like a fucking yanni long days patreon name and you're gonna trust this guy so he took this information from this guy uh who is claiming to be Chris Italia, whose screen name was Toxic Cis White Male Fat. Now, Chris Italia is fat. So the New Republic is unable to definitely confirm or refute this claim. Nonetheless, it's clear that the mole referenced as a source in the later half of this article can no longer be trusted, nor can the suggested links

between Italia and the forum user. We regret the error. That's all. You regret the error. That's all. That's the only thing you can offer Chris Italia is just you regret the error. How about fuck you in your asshole, you piece of shit. Dirt rag. You're a diarrhea rag. Fucking you stink. Your whole fucking publication should be sued and put out of business. You ruined a man's reputation. And all you have to say is we regret the era.

How about you did a little more research in the first place and at least called Chris Italia and asked him. You know, Chris Italia hired a lawyer. They did a forensic analysis on his computer because he was going to sue the New Republic. You must sue. So fuck that kid. Anyone who's ever read anything by him, there's your fucking hero. He's a dumb idiot who trusts a guy named that screen name and wrote an entirely fabricated article and had no qualms doing it either. And all he had to go on was fat white cis male's opinion that that Nazi was Chris Italia

when that was a fake account. Excuse me. Unbelievable how low the standard for journalism has dropped. How low the standard for all sacred institutions have dropped. Except comedy amongst comedians. We know who the good ones are. Industry don't anymore. Shane Gillis is a funny dude.

Here's another one what do we got here oh there's my name so yeah here's is this the New Republic yeah and then he underlined me

and quoted a tweet of mine so they signed Luis Gomez Giannis Pappas and then there's a link to one of my tweets trying to prove I'm some sort of fucking fascist

or something go fuck him anyway that's enough on him. I hope he's gone forever. And let's talk about the Emmys. The Emmys happened. Okay, nobody cares. Next.

I will not watch the Emmys until they rename it to the Femmys. No more men. I've had enough of staring at men win awards. Dismantle the fucking Emmys. They should be called the Femmys. We have this from a black kid in the chat. Comment roulette. He says, damn, I called Gillis a racist as a bit

and Instagram deleted the post. Yeah, you can't make jokes. Oh, you called Gillis a racist? As a bit. And Instagram deleted it. Oh, all right. It's arbitrary what they will delete nowadays. Yanni, those glasses look like they belong to Eva Lovia.

Care to explain, cuz? Yes, these are feminine glasses. Okay? Jay Harvin, 15. The stand is a nice place, great comedy and great food, but they may be a little racist because every time I go to watch a show, they ask me to stand in the back.

Hashtag Rosa. Very funny. Now this, I'm not defending anyone's comedy or anything like that, except that Shane Gillis is funny. He's a funny guy. Check out his special. Anyway, moving on.

So the United States, the US, England decided to sell, give some money for some nuclear submarines to Australia in sort of a reaction to China. And France got pissed off. Now, here's the funny thing. Now, here's the funny thing. I'm telling you, dude, this all leads back to the media and how the media needs to be reformed.

I posted something on my Twitter that you can go see. Three articles in a row on a Google search that say the opposite thing like a week and a month apart. It's like the complete opposites a month and a week apart. It's really gotten out of hand. And they need to be held accountable. Because as I said, freedom without responsibility is tyranny. They are acting tyrannical right now.

And I bring that up because in this deal, when the news first broke, everyone was of the opinion who wrote on this that um they were doing it because they were that france that france was upset because this was sort of an escalation and that france was sort of putting their foot down in a move for peace you know like they don't want another adversary. Turns out that France was seeking a deal, a submarine deal with Australia, and we beat them to it. And they were upset because they were not notified about our deal, and so they were upset that we cut them out. So that's why the ambassador threatened to leave or whatever the fuck happened. And that's why they got pissed and threw a hissy fit because they lost a little money.

Always follow the hashtag money, my friends. Drew's doing fucking good today. Can you scroll down? Because the light that makes me look like I have bigger eyes, bigger eye bags than I do is blocking it. Australia bailed on a submarine contract with France that makes me look like I have bigger eyes, bigger eye bags than I do is blocking it. Australia bailed on a submarine contract with France worth 66 billion last week, choosing instead to work with the United States

and United Kingdom. Outrage, France called its ambassadors to the US and Australia, recalled its ambassador. So yeah, that's a real, that really calls for you to remove your diplomatic invoice because you lost some money. I mean, that just shows how everything is about money,

dog. Usually you remove your ambassadors for safety concerns or because you're protesting some human rights violation, et cetera. So France, like I said at the opening, watch yourself, okay? Watch yourself because all we got to do is make one phone call to Russia and say, you know what we don't care about anymore? France, take it. It's yours. Here's a gift. And you will stand at the border with baguettes and try to swing them. And you'll be taken in days like you were by the fucking Nazi machine that took the whole country of France quicker than they took my home island of Crete. Put that into France. Shut your mouth. I want you to shut your fucking mouth, okay? Don't fucking bite the hands that feed you. Shut your mouth, take your fucking loss like a man, and go walk back into your fucking cafe and smoke your cigarette and smell like body odor and eat your fucking diminutive meal

and just whine about how great your wine is and shut your fucking mouth. That's how pussy France is. They took, look at Hitler posing with the fucking, posing with the Eiffel Tower like a tourist on holiday, only days after they invaded. My mother's from an island called Crete,

where we're crazy and we fight to the death. It took the Nazis longer to take Crete than it did the whole country of France. Shout out to Battle of Crete episode history. Hyena's one of the best. So France, shut your mouth. So it turns out France was bitter because they lost a little money.

It had nothing to do with human rights violations or protests for peace because they were against escalation with China. It's because they just, we beat them to it. I mean, dude, I don't know what the details of the deal were, but listen, I'll tell you two facts of life. One is, if you're buying a car, go Japanese. Second is, if you're buying arms, go American. It's the best thing we make. You know, people say we don't make anything in this country

anymore. They forget about one detail, weapons. We're still the goat. We're still the goat at arming the world on both sides and then hopping in later. Pick up the gun. our foreign policy often can be just encapsulated in a famous uh not charlton heston uh i hear the come on i hear in post to come on man i know it just happened what's his name million dollar baby come on man clintwood. When he throws the fucking gun at the guy and he goes, pick up the gun.

Is that from Gran Turismo? Was it? Yes, Gran Turismo. Yeah. Drew's been very fucking good this episode. Letting me flow. Drew, you're good.

So, shut your mouth France now Jeff Bezos has given one billion dollars not to his wife that happened previously because you know there's

no better example of the patriarchy than divorce court here's a billion dollars for sucking this guy's dick which you know I defend you know, I defend. You know, I defend.

And I understand why she got a divorce from him because Jeff Bezos has a wandering eye. Jay Harvin, I beat you to it. This is a... Let's talk to the Bernie bros here for a second, Jess. Okay, because you know, the older Jesse gets, the more he hates kids. Let's talk to the Bernie bros

on behalf of me and Jesse Scuturo and probably Drew, you know, because that was a fire photo. So he goes, you definitely vote to the right. Yeah, he just, he nods quickly. If you see more than one religious tattoo on a person, you can assume that you will see them at a Trump rally and maybe storming the Capitol.

So Bezos, by the way, that was a fucking dud. That whole rally up there. It was like four dudes showed up. You know? Listen, look. Biden is not moving merch like trump let's just be honest i mean has there ever been a president who moved merch like donnie t the kid fucking his merch shop was sold out um yeah ride with biden shirts just ain't flying off the shelf. They may need to rebrand like Keds. Bezos pledged a billion dollars to conserve land and sea in critical areas of the world.

$1 billion, guys, that is more money than you can fathom or in a lot of cases that a government could collect. Now, would you rather pay that in tax dollars or have a billionaire donate that, you know, to help fight climate change? So score one for the libertarians here, right? I mean, they always argue how charity is the answer. I often argue that it's both because in the real world, it is both.

We don't live in theory. We live in reality. And reality is full of compromises and imperfect solutions not even a perfect circle exists in reality as i've said before but uh check this out bezos's earth fund leaders announced the pledge monday afternoon as part of amazon's Jeff Bezos' prior commitment to $10 billion towards fighting climate change and preserving natural habitats in the world. Grants will preference groups that work closely with local communities and indigenous people according to the blah, blah, blah. So that's a lot of money, dude.

That is like a good thing. Now, is he doing that for a tax write-off? Is he doing that for PR? Doesn't matter, dude. That is like a good thing. Now, is he doing that for tax write-off? Is he doing that for PR? Doesn't matter, dog. You have to judge people by the actions of what they do sometimes. The intent is always going to be a little self-interested, but as long as the action is net more than self-interest, and sometimes, as in this case, altruistic, you got to fucking tip your hat. I don't care if you're a Bernie bro and you live off your parents

and you're demanding benefits from rich people to pay for you to go to the hospital. You have to tip your hat to Bezos and maybe put off taking his head off another year in your planned French revolution, okay? Because Bill and Melinda Gates also donate a lot. And now all you hear on the internet is that they're sticking needles in African kids to turn them into fucking microchip zombie reptiles.

That may be possible too, but they also do a lot of good. Yes, the Clinton Foundation does launder a lot of money to give to oil tycoons that can somehow go through a back channel into their own pocket so they can live well in fucking Chappaqua or wherever the fuck they live in Westchester or Maine or fucking however many houses they have. You get very rich being in public life. It's crazy and it shouldn't be. Yes. But also they do some good. The real world, you can't make omelets without breaking a few heads. So if I'm going to give you 10 billion, I'm going to take a billion off the top and take 6 billion in tax cuts. Mind your business. Take

the 10 billion and walk away. Nothing's free in this world, God damn it. Okay? Nothing's free. And adults understand that. Okay? I got Drew here. Me and Jesse got Drew here. There's a lot of pros and a few cons. You take the good with the bad. There's more pros in the comment because Drew used a bunch of burner accounts to support him talking on the podcast. Jay Harvin 15, comment roulette. You have to tip your hat to Bezos, but best believe you're going to have to do it on an angle or else the kid isn't going to see it. He saw my ace and he raised me a flush.

Someone just wrote, A Lunt1 just wrote CCP. Those are some of my favorite comments, just CCP. And then we get an AOL. Comment roulette. I read down. I look down. It's your only interactive podcast on the net. We go live on my Instagram every time we tape.

So tune in on Wednesdays and you may end up on the podcast. Kenny says, Yanni loses 40 IQ points when he takes his glasses off. Jay Harvin 15. Yeah, you can't just fight climate change when you took a rocket ship into space that burned more holes in the ozone than a couple of women doing their hair in Nashville. Good fucking stuff, my friend. Slog17 says, Yanni, I want to shoot my juice on those AOC-looking glasses.

Cream of the crop. Then we got Beau Biden, ghost is behind you. Yanni is just John Stamos filled with fumes. Thank you, Kennedy Tallarico. What's up, Tricky P? So now let's get to this border story. Wow, this is gonna be a hot one. All I know about what happened at the border,

okay, is one thing when I watch one network and a completely different thing when I watch another one, okay? Now, Amanda Seals made a video about it that I think went semi-viral, like all her stuff, because I know she just waits for anything that she can turn into content that skews woke. And I don't hate on it. If I was her and I was that type of content creator, I'd do the same thing. And that picture of that guy on a horse with his reins, I guess swiping them at the Haitian guy,

is a gift that won't stop giving. If you want to talk about it as things haven't changed in America. Here's the photo. Jesus Christ. Oh, man. I mean, you not want them on horses. Do you want them in tanks? You want them running? I mean, what are we supposed to do? I know the image is bad with them on horses, but you know, they're a lot less dangerous on a horse than they are in a tank. And it's also in the water. What are they supposed to swim to

them? I mean, I don't know what you want. I mean, you can't just break into a country. There's fucking 12,000 people that we know of. And that's just what the media is reporting that are just fucking break it into America. I get it. They're refugees and Haitian sucks. I get it. It's not a perfect world, but that doesn't mean we can't have a border. It doesn't mean we can solve all the world's problems and just let everybody in. It doesn't work that way. Okay? And if you want all that, then you must take them all in to your house. It's my same.

I have three Yanni policies. Okay? You don't want to get the vaccine. Sign a fucking deal that says, if I get COVID, I must recover at home, even if I'm 400 pounds. So...

Sign that deal. That's Yanni policy number one. If you don't want the vaccine, fine. But you must recover at home when you get COVID. It's not if. Everyone will get it. You must recover at home if things go COVID. It's not if. Everyone will get it. You must recover at home if things go south.

That's my first one. My second one is if you are against abortion, you must adopt. Every single kid must be adopted by someone who's pro-abortion. They must live in your house, period. So if you sign a referendum or whatever those lists are, what are those called when people make those lists? Whatever it's called.

Petition. You sign a petition, your name goes in the books in the United States of America that you will take at least two unwanted children in as they grow up. You must adopt them. That's my second rule. My third rule is,

if you are for not having a border, then you must take them all into your house. 12,000 Haitians are going to live in your house. And that's it. It's not a perfect world. You fucking young idealist. That's why you can't have 20 year olds in Congress. Congress, this Yanni law number five. I don't want someone who's fucking over 75 who falls asleep and eats applesauce unless he's healthy. But also I don't want anyone under the age of 35 because below 35,

I had dreams and I was stupid too. So it's got to be between 35 and like 75. It's got to be the cutoff. You can't have a fucking 28-year-old with hot tits running around in a fucking dress that says, tack the rich, made by an immigrant from Toronto.

As it turns out, AOC's working class designer, that's what she called her. Her working class immigrant designer is a girl who's dating a, her, her boyfriend is an heir to a billionaire fortune some fucking famous family she's also an immigrant from toronto that's not really that's more of a lateral move than uh an immigrant um and here's the best part she owes taxes in multiple states and she's been tax evading and her company's been tax evading and also been using slave labor call it what you want unpaid interns is slave labor even drew gets a fucking chicken sandwich once in a while so and then she goes on aoc went on her uh instagram live feed and she said i just want

to teach you something for those people who are using the word ironic saying what i did was ironic i want to teach you what ironic means and how they were wrong and you're just going you're owning yourself aoc no it was ironic it was ironic that you were wearing a dress called tax the rich at an event where you had to be super rich to get into. And for all the other reasons I just mentioned, it's super ironic that you're wearing a dress that says tax the rich at the Met Gala made by a woman who needs to be taxed, who owes lots of taxes. That is actually the perfect definition of irony. In fact, it couldn't get more pointed.

But you got nice taxes and probably a sweet peace. AOC's just too young to be in Congress. So let's finish up on this thing. It's like, so if you watch CNN and MSNBC, you're just going, oh my God, slavery is back at the border. And then if you watch Fox News, they're just going, we're being invaded. I think the truth is in the middle, okay?

We're not being invaded. These are desperate refugees coming from a desperate situation. And I was brought up by a human rights lawyer to have all the sympathy for those people and them just searching for a better life. But I am an adult and I understand you can't have a country without a border.

I mean, you just can't do that. You can't, people cannot immigrate illegally. Right now, there's a lot of Haitians and others, other immigrants from other countries are just being, some are being sent back and some are just being released in the United States with the promise that they're going to show up at an immigration office in 60 days. I mean, what the fuck are we doing? joe biden rolled back a lot of the um immigration policies of trump but he does keep one extreme one that just deports people but there are some that are just taking buses in or just being released in the united states because this is a very complicated issue

um when you see shit like this and you're a practical person, you're going, Trump's wall was not that bad of an idea. I mean, the Rio Grande is just like, you could just walk across it. As the Haitians tried to climb onto the US side of the river Sunday afternoon, the agent shouted, let's go, get out now, back to Mexico. The agent menacingly swung his reins like a whip,

charging his horse towards the men in the river who were trying to return to an encampment under the international bridge in Del Rio after buying food and water in Ciudad Acuna, Mexico. And someone writes, is this really America? Oh my God. Yeah. Is it so bad?

Is it so bad? Is that why Joe Biden, our president, just committed 1 billion COVID vaccines to the developing world? Is it so bad? Is that why one of our most famous billionaires just donated $1 billion to climate change? Is it so bad? And most telling of all, is it so bad that fucking 12,000 people are risking their lives to fucking leave the comfort of their homes to try to sneak into this horrible country it must be so bad that's why everyone is trying to come here god damn the media i, what the fuck are we talking? This journalist is going, is this America? Is this America that a guy on a horse aggressively swung his reins and said, get back?

And because you could take it out of context and put it up against an overseer from fucking, I'm white. So let's just say 800 years ago. Because that Louis C.K. bit is the best about white people with slavery. He's like, they always tack on another 100 years. He goes, that was like 3,000 years ago. You take something from fucking 150 plus years ago and you go, it's the same thing.

It obviously is not, and we've obviously lost our mind, but it's not all our fault i do just blame the runaway media man we were always worried about the runaway court the supreme court which you can make a little bit of a case for now especially with their refusal to uphold roe v wade in texas and allow those loopholes to go through although constitutionalists could argue something else but you can make an argument now a little bit because Roe v. Wade is the land of the law. It's federal law.

It's common law, and Texas is circumventing it, and now Florida is seeking to do it, and 12 other states are seeking to do that too. You can make a case, and it's because the Supreme Court is laying off and not upholding the present law of the land based on common law, which is what our country is. You could make an argument it's a runaway Supreme Court now, just with that issue. But you can make a massive case that we are living in an era where there is

an absolute runaway media that has the one goal of eliciting emotion from you the same way a Budweiser commercial does with a cute fucking Dalmatian running next to a Klondike bar, a Klonsdale, while fucking Christmas bells ring, and then they go drink piss water at the end of it. Brings families together. Heartwarming video of a mother who lost her tit to breast cancer and a grandma on a COVID ventilator, but they're all by her bedside. And then you see a Dalmatian run in and lick her paw, use her paw on her hand and lick her face. And then all of a sudden drink Budweiser. and lick her face, and then all of a sudden drink Budweiser.

You can make a slight argument that advertisers are manipulating your emotions to tie those good feelings to their shit product. You could make a tiny bit of an argument, maybe a connection. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not sure if there's a connection. And you could make a tiny argument that journalists have now become advertisers and marketers and are doing the same thing instead of reporting on all the policies and issues and complications of the border

and representing both sides and the challenges and this and that and this and that and getting into the details of it. You could just show an image of a guy on a horse. You could show a picture of a guy on a horse and a Haitian illegal immigrant. There's no illegals. People aren't illegal. I'm sorry, a Haitian refugee. I'm sorry. I'm not us. I'm not us. I'm not us. I'm not us. I'll use that whip to whip myself. I am on notice illegal i'm sorry a haitian refugee i'm sorry i'm nervous i'm nervous i'm nervous i'm nervous i'm nervous i'll use that whip to whip myself i am on notice for using the improper nomenclature haitian refugee going like this and you feel that emotion and now you've tied that emotion

to immigration and you've clicked you clicked it's an absolute And you've clicked. You clicked. It's an absolute runaway media that just writes what it wants and then if anyone protests, all they do is make a little footnote. They don't even remove those articles. They just put a footnote and say,

we regret the error. We regret the error. As the fucking cities go up in flames because of your hyperbole right cops are murdering black people every second all around the world whatever you're writing cities going up in flames cops being defunded residents of the areas where cops are being defunded now are demanding that cops be funded lori lightfoot of all people or as i like to call her a character in a fucking game of thrones lori lightfoot has now approved a 1.9 billion dollar increase in refunding the police. Residents, through their council members and representatives in Harlem,

have demanded the return of the plainclothes unit that The plainclothes unit in New York City was disbanded by this defund the police movement. And now the residents that are affected most by the disbanding of this unit are demanding that they return because gun homicides are fucking through the motherfucking roof. So as the country burns

and we all fight and hate each other, the media just says, we regret the era. It's a beautiful image, isn't it? Just fire everywhere that you just see across the screen. We regret the era. Next. I guess we know what the title of this episode is going to be. We regret the era. So people were upset because of the image. Now, I guarantee you, those two Border Patrol guys who probably weren't even white.

Let's be honest. I bet you they were like Hispanic or some shit. We may even find out one was Chinese. Who knows? Right? Because that's how it always turns out. You're like, I'm not't even white. Let's be honest. I bet you they were like Hispanic or some shit. We may even find out one was Chinese. Who knows? Right? Because that's how it always turns out. You're like, I'm not even, I'm not even fucking white.

But he's probably white. Who knows? It doesn't matter. My point is, those two border controls could probably actually whip, actually whip

and hang like 13,000 illegal immigrants from Honduras. But because we couldn't get that image of a white guy on a horse and a Haitian like this, nobody will write about it because nobody's gonna click. Nobody's gonna click. What sells better?

What sells better? Oh my God, there's a real problem at the border where a lot of illegal immigrant a little a lot of illegal refugees are trying to get in and the border patrol is underfunded and there's no there's no partition between that section of mexico and what's gonna sell better that more of a? Or, oh my God, slavery's back in Texas. Cousin, that picture looked like an aggressive game of horse polo. Jay Harvin, 15, with the sledgehammer home run. Maurice needs to go down to the board. Tsunami in the East Coast says what?

Uh, Maurice needs to go down to the border. Tsunami in the East Coast says what? I think he's calling me a tsunami in the East. Uh, Yanni looks like the Greek Winnie the Pooh. Make no mistake, though, I'd eat him up like a chicken souvlaki. JayHarvin15, another one. When you shit and it smells like someone else's, that's a thing I like to call freaky fume day.

Augustism says, cuz I said bitch and Instagram censored me. Gumalka. People forget that 12 months ago, the Latin kings were piercing the brothers with homemade javelins. We're piercing the brothers with homemade. Yeah. I mean, there's violence in the streets

and those wars on the West Coast where there is no water. California has run out of water. They're out of water. So not only are you not going to make it in Hollywood, you're also going to die from dehydration. Get the fuck out of California, bro. California ain't it. You need water. I mean, who the fuck wants to move to a state that's built on fault lines and with no water? And then they call me stupid for never going to Hollywood. Like I don't care about my career.

Yeah, maybe I don't care about my career, but I care about my life. And I'm gonna, there's plenty of water over here. There's too much of it. It's fucking raining. It's raining, men. Hallelujah! So,

we're not that bad. America's not that bad. If we were that bad, not everyone would be trying to sneak in here. We've done some horrible things in the past, but so has everybody. I really wish people understood that if you wanted to stop focusing on things like gender and race so much and treat everyone equally under the law

as they should be treated, you'd start telling the whole truth even if it's uncomfortable. People can handle it. I think if the aliens finally being revealed to the people tells us anything, it's that people can handle the truth

because that came in and out of the news quicker than a fucking, quicker than Usain Bolt in a 100-meter dash. Gotcha, J.R. Harvin. I mean, that shit was a flash pan. And everyone probably on the government side was worried that if they released those news that yes, we have had ad hoc agencies

to study these unidentified flying objects. And yes, we have had ad hoc agencies to study these unidentified flying objects and yes, we can't explain them with any technology that's of this earth. They thought they couldn't say that because people would lose their minds. Nobody cared. Nobody fucking cared at all. People can handle the fucking truth.

It's just that the algorithms don't promote it. The media doesn't promote it anymore. They promote fiction because fiction is more exciting. That's why always your most popular comedians have puppets and shit like that. And you're like, who is Carrot Top? And he's like, let me hide behind this puppet. I'm this guy.

They create personas and those people blow up because people love stories. Stories are funner than reality. If you don't like reality, I'm not the podcast for you. I'm not the comic for you. But let me just send a little message to the, it's only a few, to the few people who comment when they see a little clip of my podcast or they see something and they say, Yanni's doing this or Yanni's doing that. Listen to me clearly. Listen to me clearly. Yanni is doing what Yanni has always done since the beginning. And whatever you're watching, just remember, everyone you're referencing is younger than Yanni and they watched Yanni before Yanni watched them. So everyone's great, but cut that shit out that

Yanni's doing this or Yanni's doing that. Yanni does Yanni and Yanni will always do Yanni. And what you're watching, even though it was something that was unbeknownst to you until recently, it's always been Yanni. And Yanni's always done those things. Yanni didn't just put on a wig and only do dasse. Yanni used to do this exact same thing before the internet facilitated it going out to thousands of people. I wish it was more. Yanni did this thing at shows and bars across the country. It's what it is. And in Europe,

where they appreciate it more because as long as you shit on the States, they love it. Because they're hypocrites too. Yeah, Canadians, put your fucking flags on your backpacks when you travel Europe. Keep that shit up. Keep that shit up so you can identify as Canadian and which, you know,

keep that shit up. And the Americans that put a Canadian flag on their bag, these fucking traitor Benedict Arles transnational eunuchs, you will be caught by our border patrol and be sent down back to a plantation, which is what border patrol does. Jokes. The ball's on people. Are we done?

I hope not. But if we have any chance to be a power in the 21st century, we have to start looking past hyperbole and using our brains a little bit more to put ourselves in other people's shoes. What do I mean by that quick example? Okay. Hey, guess what? I love Bernie Sanders. Why? I'm a college student. I don't have a job. I just went to the hospital. Of course, I love Bernie Sanders. I want it to be paid for by the taxpayers. Guess what? I'm that same person.

Now I'm 42. My tech company just took off. It got bought by Amazon, and I got paid $14 billion. Guess what? Now I don't like Bernie because I can pay for my own hospital stay, and I don't want to pay for other people's. I'm not saying either side is right or wrong. I'm just saying follow the money, stupid. Self-interest. There ain't nothing wrong with it.

It needs to be balanced with public consciousness because we signed a social contract to live together. But all has to be taken into consideration. Just like when you read something, go read more. Also, the media needs to be held accountable. They can't just, they can't editorialize anymore. I mean, it shouldn't even be called Fox News anymore.

It should be called Fox Views. You're watching CNN, CNN Views. These are our views. Enough with the word news. If I see one more Tucker Carlson rant questioning the vaccine from one side, I'm going to sue that network for being called news. You're not news.

You can't use the moniker news. I mean, and you know, the hypocrisy is like, they hate that trans people and this whole new youthful movement, which is kind of societal pressure and stupid. And in some ways to identify as whatever you want, they hate that. They hate that someone goes, call me ma'am or call me they, but it's like, you call yourself news. You say you identify as news and what we're seeing is not news. So you are the original trans movement, Fox. You're the original trans movement, CNN. You are the original trans. You started it. They learned it from watching you, dad. They turn on the TV and you say Fox News,

fair and unbalanced. And then they watch Bill O'Reilly talk over anyone who's got a different point until it's found out that he was molesting employees. So in that convenient, you are a muscular man in a dress staring at me saying, call me ma'am. That's been your long day. Now let's get to the Patreon. Guys, now time to our small business shout outs. Yanni Longday supports the small business. natelinder.com. Nate specializes in working with construction companies, doctors, and lawyers, but has found success marketing in dozens of industries. We're talking about Nate Linder. He's a freelance digital marketing consultant and manager in Denver. So if you want to crack open and clean out your digital marketing game. Talk to Nate and he'll help you get your numbers

up. That's natelinder.com, natelinder.com. Thank you, Nate. Hit him up. Andrew Cuomo, secretary, how you doing? You still getting touched even though the governor's out of office? What's the deal is? You know the deal is ZJamaRealty.com for any commercial or apartment rental listings in Brooklyn. That's ZJamaRealty.com. Go check out those screwed in kids. And if you're not in New York, but you're in South Florida, you do the same thing except you do it with Grant Trower. You go to granttrower.theatlanticrealtygroup.com to do a full house search for you or call him at 954-591-6465. You can follow him at grant underscore trower. The kid will find you a spot in the South Florida area. Any of my fans, that's who you go to. Squeegee Luigi, I got one thing to say to you.

What's the dollars? Squeegee Luigi. You know what it is. Get turnt co. That's at get turnt co on the gram. And go check out his exotic dab tools, pipes, rolling trays, luxury pens, jewelry, self-defense gear, tools, furniture, and beyond, and buy something from the kid. The kid's got everything from handcrafted luxury grade products for your living and

smoking pleasures. So check out GetTurntCo on the gram and order from Squeegee, Luigi, something cool. Go peruse it. Leave some comments. Let him know that the Longholers got his back. Chris Minetti, my boy in the Philly South Jersey area. Okay. If you got to get your business check cash and you don't want the IRS involved, the number is 215-750-3730. Hit up Chris. Do it old school. Kids got a gun. Michael Hamlet Jr., my man, with one of the coolest small business shout outs we give. They are all cool. TheBronxBrand.com. Go buy something. Support local Bronx artists that earn a revenue share with each sale. Each purchase you make will support a

local artist. They got prints to clothings to stories in the Bronx magazine. The Bronx brand is just uplifting the home of hip hop. So go over, check them out. And I got really cool stuff, man. Like if you're a unique person, you like wearing original stuff or original art, which is the only way I do it, go support these guys, thebronxbrand.com. You know what I mean? New York is where all the cool shit happens anyway. So if you're not from New York, get yourself a little piece of genuine New York with some art or a printer t-shirt from thebronxbrand.com. Now here we go, Now, here we go, techvera.com. Reese Orman. So if you need, for all your tech needs, instead of hiring IT people, you can just hire Tech Vera, and they'll do everything for you.

They do, they're the equivalent and a much easier option than an entire IT department. So they offer 24-7, 365-day coverage to their flat rate partners. So techvera.com, check them out. If you need any IT support, make it easy on yourself that way. And let me know how it goes, okay? Then we got, of course, our beloved Eastside Cheesecakes. Guess what? Then we got, of course, our beloved Eastside Cheesecakes.

Guess what? Eastside Cheesecakes now is delivering to the entire country. So yes, it's going good. So nationwide shipping is on the way. Oh, it'll be a few weeks. Okay. They're coming soon. So eastsidecheesecakes.com.

Get yourself a delicious cheesecake if you're in the Los Angeles area. Stop by Uncle Paulie's. He's got them there too. Or just order them if you have a special occasion. They're absolutely delicious, dude. And it matters. It matters. If you're having some people over, go with something homemade and delicious like Eastside Cheesecakes. Check them out on the gram for the food porn.

That's where it starts, at Eastside Cheesecakes. Everything is fresh, man. Shout out Julia and Greg. We love you guys. Aaron Lee for the free.us down in Hawaii. It's an organization dedicated to providing artists from Hawaii a place to develop their craft. They host free shows and post free music by local artists. So check out forthefree.us right now if you're a music fan and you want to learn about some cool bands or whatever's going on down in Hawaii. If you're on vacation down there or you're planning vacation, you must go to ForTheFree.us to find out about shows and stuff and cool stuff you can do while you're down there. Rob's Mental Playground.

Rob's Mental Playground. Give it up for Rob, everybody, who has been selling to long haulers. So thank you for supporting Rob and getting cool art up in your house that means something to you. Continue to support Rob. Rob'smentalplayground.com is his website. And Rob's Mental Playground on the gram. I mean, we got to keep Rob around.

He's a wild kid. So it's up to you to keep supporting Rob. And we appreciate that you're doing it so he can keep his wild mustache. I think kid uses hairspray on his mustache. his wild mustache, whatever. I think Kid uses hairspray on his mustache. Jared Z from the Stinkbox, Tallahassee, looking for that Harry Yanni P to make me a cozy. What's the Dallas? Exclusiveautoshipping.com. Anywhere in the country, they will ship your car. They got student and military discounts also available. Go get your free quote if you're moving or you need your car shipped anyway. They will ship your vehicle from point

A to B anywhere. So give them a shout out. So we appreciate all you guys and keep up the good work. Now for our new Patreon members. All right, patreon.com slash Yanni long days let's shout out our new members hopefully we got some funny names elva galarga elva galarga welcome sajit mahithya thank you sajit wow we got some foreign people then we got bjorn lippert then we got chrissy d did 9-11 then we got Chrissy D did 9-11. Then we got Freddie Sapstead. Welcome, Freddie. Dylan, Julian Bentured, Patrice, with an exclamation point, Kyle Carney, and Chrissy D's pee-pee in a Lululemon teepee while attending RuPaul's Speakeasy.

That's obviously the winner of that list. So thank you guys. Patreon.com slash Yanni Long Days, and we'll see you next week.