Yannis Pappas Hour - Zealot Eyes

Episode Date: July 2, 2022

Ok, we had our fun. Time for a classic Longday from the delicious maniac. Yanni has a lot to say on the recent overturning of Roe v Wade. From RBG’s refusal to retire, to the waging of a war on gender, wage gaps, JK Rowling and police, the left seems to have forgotten about the zealotry of the religious right. Meanwhile, the religious right has been re-districting, mobilizing and winning over the suburban moderate swing voters by simply letting the zealotry of the left’s purity wars rage. Strap in and enjoy Yanni’s take. Time to find out wasdadealis.Join our Patreon subscription channel for an additional wilder episode every week https://www.patreon.com/yannilongdaysSponsor Dad Grass http://dadgrass.com/fumesSubscribe to our clips page for podcast highlights here: https://youtube.com/channel/UCfMy34qIYYy7XiRaHKO1ykwThe show goes out every Saturday. Come join in on the LONG DAY & Follow Yannis PappasInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/yannispappas/Twitter - https://twitter.com/yannispappas Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So you are really going to want to tune into this episode because I got a lot to say this week. It is going to be the longest day of the summer coming, baby. We are deep in the bowels of the fight between right and left. The religious right is back, baby. They went underground, and then the sun came up, and they sprouted. Boy, did the left get cocky. They were like the Miami Heat when they had the Super 3,

the Power 3, and they went up against Dierks Dallas Mavericks. That's right. The right is Dierks Dallas Mavericks, and the left is LeBron, Bosh, and Wayne. And it looks like they're down in the series. Boy, it's getting weird over here, over here in Afghani America. Wow. Ladies, ladies, baby, get familiar with the boarded after pill. If you're going to be banging, carry them in your purse With your mints and your lipstick

The times, they are a-changing Just like the Jew who had a weird name But he changed it to Bob Dylan said The times, they are a-changing And by changing, I mean heading back to the third century Good, I warned you I told you Joel Osteen's coming. I told you democracy never lasts for long.

But no, you don't want to listen to long days, do you, babe? You want to just futz around, John, and waste your fucking time? I just turned it to my father. We got a lot going on. Rudolph Giuliani was viciously assaulted in his shop right where he was hit by a boulder at his back and it's viciously attacked by abortion

nihilists I'm sorry I was just reading that from his Facebook live the real story seems a little bit more complicated it seems like supermarkets have surveillance and the story doesn't match up to what

his narrative is. Sort of a little like Steve Rizzisi. It's just a running joke that won't end. Seems like humans are a million years older than what we thought. We thought Lucy was the oldest fucking bag of bones

laying around, but they found another human-like thing in South Africa that makes humans a million years older good luck cared about that in this climate baby because we are in fuego right now Ghislaine Maxwell got 20 years right years, right? 20 plus years. So she'll do some soft time. 50 migrants died in the back of a tractor or trailer or whatever it was, a truck, in San Antonio when

apparently the driver went to go take a piss and got lost. I hate when that happens. When you pull over at a rest stop thinking that there was a bathroom there and really it's just a bunch of truckers blowing each other. We got a lot to talk about, baby. Happy Pride Month.

Does it ever end? Good luck not knowing about it. This is Long Days. What's the dollars? What's the dollars? Down in Spobus. Yeah. When you all tucked up in the neighborhood

And the news online going on and on What's lying wrong? And there's something up Now here comes a great kid you know you can trust From the truth to the news and cameras To the fake politics and the propaganda Yeah, this kid's screwed in, got a lot to say Ah, shit, it's about to be a long day

It's a long day, it's a long day Right in the middle of Pride Month. Right in the middle of Pride Month. Right in the middle of Pride Month, the Supreme Court probably figured it would be a good time to overturn Roe v. Wade because people care about only gays, right? This is gay. This is their month. What a perfect time to do it.

When everyone's focused on the population that's happy. Well, I'm talking about the gay men. Happy and not reproducing. What a great time. What a great time to overturn Roe v. Wade. You got to love the way the justices went into it when they were testifying in front of Congress. What do you think about Roe v. Wade?

Yo, Roe v. Wade, dog, v. Wade dog is settled that is settled you know that's it's like when you're trying to bang a girl it's like look you know we just want to be friends you know we should just hang out come up to the apartment not a big deal you know grab a slice maybe a drink whatever I'll get you an uber no biggie I really can't stay baby it's cold outside I got to go home and then Kanaugh was like baby it's cold outside looks like they all fibbed a little bit looks like neil gorsh neil gorsh can't say his name neil gorgeous amy got amy barrett you know with her her vagina her vagina is like mean, there's a lot of things coming out of that thing. We could call it porous.

She's got a porous, the border on her vagina is porous. There's a lot of kids getting through. She loves making kids, okay? A lot of people like making kids. loves making kids. Okay. A lot of people like making kids. I have a feeling we are in a moment now where a lot of the uncomfortable truths, the ones people try to ignore the most are going to start coming to the forefront about who really is for abortion, who's against it, what it means. Are there women? There's a lot of women who are against it. There's a lot of minorities who are against it.

There's a lot of Supreme Court judges who are against it, and they seem to have a majority right now. I just want to take this moment as a moment of silence for the great, the great revolutionary, the great trailblazer, RBG, who, after her head fell off, found a way to be able to lift two-pound dumbbells and impress us. Just impress us with her resolve. Cancer.

I mean, her head fell off, and she stayed on the job. I mean, her head fell off and she stayed on the job. Isn't it funny that there's just like no forced retirement in politics? You know, you work for an advertising agency. You got to start hiding from HR around 36. You're in Hollywood. You got to start mutilating your face by the time you're 32. Okay.

And by the time you're 40, you got to look like a full blown burnt victim. Okay. In order to survive in that town. But apparently in the Supreme Court, you could just go like, was she a Supreme Court justice like the day before her funeral? supreme court justice like the day before her funeral she just went from one of the most important and pivotal jobs straight into the coffin and she was canonized snl gave her a good salute just a salute because what's happened the r RBG refusal to retire is the moment. It was the beginning, is the real moment where everyone should have said, the Democrats are a little overconfident, cocky, and living in the clouds.

They forgot that the religious right was still out there. They forgot who the enemy really was because they were too busy yelling at J.K. Rowling for saying something that I don't care what polls say.

99.6? And that's being very giving. Support. Okay? J.K kell rowlings is as liberal as you can get but you know where she drew the line you know where jay k rowlings one of the greatest feminine icons on the planet the same with martina navratilova that bull from whatever fucking eastern european country she's from. Back in the day where we suspected she was made in a Soviet or German lab. Okay.

Or that she had a cock. That is like conservative now. If you're a, like, I guess you're voting for Trump, right? Just to preserve your species. You don't see many of them around. Martina Navratilova, J.K. Rowling, all these previous feminist icons on the left were coming out going,

you know where we draw the line? I think we draw the line at this thing we're watching right now where it looks like Michael Phelps just beat a bunch of girls in a pool. We draw the line there. We draw the line there.

This woman was a dude two years ago competing against other dudes. I think this is where we draw the line. And the left was like, we have to find out where J.K. Rowling's address is so we can burn her as a witch. And the right was just going, goody gumdrops. Goody gumdrops. They're beating each other up. The left was playing this purity game.

This purity game. They even attacked Bernie. You know, they were attacking each other yeah all this infighting okay if you're a comedian and you make a joke that like works you're a nazi if people laugh and somebody interprets it as a punch to someone else except yourself, you're a Nazi. There was a war on comedy, a war on gender, a war on reality, a war on police. There was a war on everything except the religious right. They kind of forgot about them. When's the last time you even heard Trevor Noah talk about the religious right? Okay. I'm talking, cause that's where, you know, I'm sure that's where, you know, people who

still watch comedy central and are under 25 get their news. So when's the last time you even mentioned them? It was like they were gone. Cause everyone was dancing in the street. It was like they were gone. Because everyone was dancing in the street. The left felt like they won. You know? Hillary got the popular vote. Everyone was focused on Trump, a former Democrat, a New York former Democrat businessman who's just like an insane narcissist who was lugging Giuliani around like his lap dog.

When did they become Ren and Stimpy? Yes, boss. Yeah, boss. When did Giuliani become sure, boss? Yeah, boss. Whatever you say, boss. What a fall from grace that fucking gindaloon had. So they were really kind of fighting ghosts,

just swinging in the air, attacking everybody because they were really kind of fighting ghosts, just swinging in the air, attacking everybody, because they were drunk with power. They were drunk with power because they won so many victories recently. Gay marriage, Pride Month, you know, the left was in power for so long. Obama's eight years. Democrats were the Timberwolves in the first round. Democrats were the Timberwolves in the first round. They were the Timberwolves in the first round.

We'll keep going with the basketball analogies, ladies. Okay? Or if they weren't the Timberwolves, what's a good WNBA team that they might have been? You know what? You wouldn't know that either because the majority of you aren't watching that either. Yeah. They got overconfident. They forgot.

But it starts with that RBG story where Obama takes her out and goes, hey, listen, this is real important. I'm what you call a down-to-earth guy. Okay? You can't be black, win for president, and not have your feet solely planted on the ground

you know how to maneuver the guy ran for president and won okay not many years after florida wouldn't even let him vote we cover covered that either in our Patreon or our last episode. Patreon. So patreon.com slash Yanni Longdays. I don't know. If you're not there, what are you doing? Do you support this show? Do you support what I'm doing here?

You want my tongue to stay loose? You want me to stay a hussy? I'm a hussy with a loose mouth. Do you enjoy that? Well, then go subscribe. Because on that channel, I let it fly. We sit there, meet Jared Harvin and Jesse, and I let it fly. I let this tongue go.

Keep up with them snooze. Those tooths are going to go too. I love when the mouth gets a step ahead of the brain, and the brain's got to catch up. So he sits her down, and he says, Hey, ma'am, you think it might be a good idea to hang it up? You're in your 80s. You've been diagnosed with cancer.

You know, we could lose the next election. These seats are very important because of this issue, right? Clarence Thomas is still sitting pretty. A few of those other guys are sitting pretty. We really need that seat because somehow the Supreme Court has just become Congress. The Supreme Court is supposed to be this judicial body of high level attorneys who became judges, who put the constitution, reason, common law, above faith, above politics. Clearly that is not the case.

Clearly. In some judgments you'll see that they do, but those judgments are the ones that don't matter. The ones that matter, Roe v. Wade, separation of church and state, free speech, things like that, unlawful, unlawful, unlawful, unlawful, unlawful, unlawful, unlawful, unlawful, they just stare at a wall or was that one more when you spent more time with your grandparents because what they just do is in america we don't live with our grandparents you go to other countries and the whole family still lives together there's like generations in the house now we're like get away from me because since now like millennials and young people uh you know run

the country and that was basically started with uh the rebel movie that was the guy who got killed in the car crash, the handsome kid. James Dean. James Dean. Since that movie, that movie really marked the point where kids were rebelling against their parents. And they're like, fuck you, dad. Fuck you, mom. You don't understand.

I'm going to do what I'm going to do. And now everyone just panders to them. All the entertainment you see, they're trying to entertain 21 year old liberal arts uh majors you know though that realistic bunch that experienced bunch politicians i'm on facebook live what's up it's aoc i'm on facebook live what's up guys i was a bartender 19 months ago but let me tell you about the intricacies of how a bill becomes a law okay and then you got fucking bobert who's 35 years old in colorado right who looks looks like she should be working at a coyote's ugly she should be a waitress at a hooters or twin peaks she should be at a twin peaks

in some short shorts serving me buffalo wings while i try not to stare at her tits too overtly that's what she should be doing it has political power now and it's talking about how we need to undo separation of church and state which ironically is a jeffersonian idea a hero to the small government states rights group. Another uncomfortable truth. We're loaded with them. We need to start exploring them. We need to start really

accepting the uncomfortable truths. Look at the data. Whatever the data says sometimes that data comes up with things that hurt your feelings. But the data is the truth. Unless it's about COVID. Unless it's what?

Unless it's about COVID. Unless it's about COVID. Then it's a little skewed depending on which state you're in. If you died of COVID in Texas, they just said she died of a headache. You die of a headache in New York, die to COVID. Everything's been politicized. Everything has become politicized. Everything.

Is there anything that's not politicized now? Everything is politicized. Everything. You know? And so she says no. She goes, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to keep going. I'm going to keep going.

I don't want to stare at the no. I'm going to keep going. I'm going to keep going. I don't want to stare at the TV. I'm going to keep going. And I'm going to stay. And then she lives. And guess what happens? Donald Trump wins. Uh-oh. Big whoopsie.

That's what you call a whoopsie. And then they tried to keep her alive, dog. They did everything they could. And I don't know how they couldn't. They've kept Dick Cheney alive. Kid's got a robot heart. A kid's still alive. He's had what?

Like 10 heart attacks. Dick Cheney, I mean the penguin, is still alive. He's still alive with his cigar hanging out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But she goes down. And of course, Donald Trump, who probably isn't even for this. He probably isn't even for this overturning of Roe v. Wade. Kid just loves attention. He was winning votes. He got on that side of the aisle. He got bitter as he got older,

as old people always do, and to appease his his base the people who elected him he started throwing these fucking maniacs onto the supreme court you could see it in their eyes dog they got the same look as the taliban they mean business they mean business dog they don't come in there with sweet eyes, okay? You sin, you have to pay. These people believe. These are people of faith. They're faith. And people of faith can always overlook what they do when they're in power because they can just pray it away. But if you do something wrong, God, do they love to punish you? God feels good it's almost they have like a sadomasochistic thing people of faith they get off on it it turns them on a little bit it turns them on i mean do you think there's a chance cavan i got a little hard when he overturned

roe v wade just thinking about the control over women just a little hard you know what i mean yeah there's no way that kid's sweet in the sack there's no way there's no way he's a lovemaker there's no way he kisses when he bangs there's just not a chance yeah there's not a chance in hell okay i'm a new york kid i can read people there's no way in hell kavanaugh whispers I love you while he has sex. There is no way that kid doesn't get a fistful of hair and says I can't get hard unless you turn around. There's no way. There's no way. There is no way that meek wife of his doesn't have at least a bruise or two.

And I'm probably going to be in jail for saying this in a year. And I welcome it because I warned you, and this is what we deserve. I'll probably be in jail for saying this in a year and I welcome it because I warned you and this is what we deserve I'll probably be in jail for this podcast in a year two months ago I was worried about the left now I'm fucking worried about the right what is going on where are the normal people I'm here I'm here this podcast is here for you okay Google you're not doing anyone any favors we can read through your fucking bullshit okay i was up last night watching 9-1-1 murder phone calls one of which the fucking woman is gargling from a stab wound to the neck live while i watched it after i watched an all-state commercial right before it.

But a long day's episode has to be taken down because I talked about Justin Bieber's unfortunate childhood video. What are you doing? It's not working. You're attacking the wrong people. You're censoring the wrong people. Your algorithms are fucking mentally stupid. They have no heart because they're robots.

And art requires heart. Stop showing favoritism. Let people speak. You don't want to quiet Nazis. Then you don't know where they are. Let them speak. Let them get on YouTube. And then fucking send a fucking van to the guy's house.

But you've distracted yourself by trying to find out what character Shane Gillis was doing to talk about a racial slur that might have been used at the time that the Chinese were fucking gentrifying Chinatown. What are you doing? Meanwhile, this guy's on there fucking putting pictures of two AR-15s on his fucking Facebook page. Then there's another guy rambling for an hour about how he wants to fucking murder everyone. And there's nothing. Maybe you're a little too distracted. Maybe you've cast your net too wide in who you're trying to censor because you're trying to please everyone. You're trying to please the sensibilities of kids who have taken on virtuous fashion. They don't know what the

real world's like. They don't know the type of compromises you have to make to deal with evil. Evil will always exist. It doesn't go away. This type of utopia you're trying to create only turns those people into zealots and they inevitably become evil. How many times do we have to see the same cycle play out over and over again? So now these other zealots have fought back. It's been a war between these two for a long time. They quietly were redistricting, winning votes, you know, at the grassroots level. And what did the media do? What did the mainstream media do?

They made Stacey Abrams a fucking icon now what she did was good that should be happening all over if you're on the left but it's like let's just celebrate Stacey meanwhile everywhere else the right was just redistricting cleaning up sweeping up and and just was taking all the fodder they needed by every mainstream cultural fight and going to normal people look look what they're doing you know look what they're doing there's no such thing as girls anymore this guy this guy transitioned a year ago he's swimming look at what they're doing look at them they're breaking down all of civilization and you know what quiet people on the train were doing quiet people on the train were going yeah i'm getting a little intimidated of this crazy person screaming on the train i've kind of had enough

the democrats forgot about the packed train of quiet passengers who just want to get to their destination. They want to get to work. They want their kids to go to school and learn the ABCs and the one, two, threes. They don't want to see a drag queen twerking to I kissed a girl when they're four years old, which, by the way, I'm an open minded liberal guy. I have a homosexual brother. I was brought up by a human rights lawyer.

And I have to say, I was doing a show which I wish I wasn't doing. Because it reminds you where you are in your career when you're performing at 10 outside in New Jersey. I'm kidding. I love those shows because they make you stronger. in New Jersey. I'm kidding. I love those shows because they make you stronger. We're doing a lot of digression,

but I'll get back to the points. And I happened to walk by an event that was like a pride event, right? Which, what does it last? For three years every year? Right? And this was like in

kind of like a affluence, one of the most affluent places in New Jersey. Of course. Not saying much, but. Yeah, of course. One of the most, of course, one of the most affluent places because the most affluent people

are the ones fucking in the clouds. They're just in the fucking clouds. They don't interact with people. They don't know what's going on. You know? I remember when I told my brother Trump was going to win. He like laughed at me.

I'm like, when's the last time you left you know your circle in dc like you have no idea what's going on this country you haven't been any of the places i've been to yeah you can't hear anything over the techno music it's exactly right it's exactly right gay techno. Yeah, even when they're having coffee. And those places always got the best eggs and the best place to be going. Like, it's 8 in the morning. I'm trying to eat Eggs Benedict. Can we throw in a little classical?

Yeah. I just woke up. I need a coffee. You walk in, it's like, ist, ist, ist, ist. There's no way to do that without sounding gay, though. You know? Ist, ist, ist, ist, ist.

So I went and I saw this event. And this was the first time I had seen this. Because you see it on the news and you're going like, is this really happening? How much is this happening? You see the videos and you do see, oh, it happened one time here. It happened one time there. And I know they do have like this drag queen story time, right? That's in New York or something.

You saw one, right, Jesse? On the ferry. You saw one on the ferry. It was a class trip, and for some reason, they got a drag queen to entertain the kids while they were on the ferry. Now, drag queen shows, you know, they're like, you can't say they're any more sexualized than like a Shakira concert, so I will admit that.. So I will admit that.

Yeah. I will admit that. But also, taking four-year-olds or eight-year-olds to go see a Shakira concert, that's not good. I don't want my kid to go see Shakira when she's four. You know? I don't want her to go see any of these groups. Everything's a little over-sexualized. Yeah, not unless you want her to be the greatest hula-hooper alive.

Right. So I'm not throwing shots at things that aren't also in the mainstream, in the straight world. But there was just something that felt forced and, like, slightly inappropriate about what I saw. And it's, like, all these parents that are there, the kids are like barely paying attention, dude. Because guess what?

They're four or they're six or they're eight. You know, what did you pay attention to? You're four or six or eight. You wanted to, they're all running around playing. And so it was this weird thing where you're watching this girl, like it was a girl. I assume she was probably a lesbian or whatever.

And she was just trying to sing, like, I kissed a girl. And she was, like, dancing, like, kind of sexually and performing. She was a horrible singer. And that was another indication, like, this is forced. Yeah. Like, this girl's horrific. It sounded like someone was scratching keys on a window. And she's singing, I kissed that girl and I liked it.

And there's pride flags everywhere and everything. And she was young. She must have been like 15. She was a young teenager. And then you see all these kids running around. And you're going like, this just seems a little contrived. It seems like you're all trying to show how great and open you are. Like, what's the reason why we're doing this?

Like, what's the reason? The reason is obviously they think that if they, you know, make kids early on accept, right, that they'll, if they're kind of looking at it, you know, they're trying to do what everyone does. Win the hearts. It's the same thing that cigarette companies do. It's the same reason why cigarette companies put, make Joe Camel cool.

You get people young when they're impressionable, you get them on your side of what you want them to believe. And then when you see it, you're going like, hey, can't we just leave kids alone from cigarette commercials to Shakira concerts to drag queen story hour? And can't we just keep it to the ABCs one, two, three?

If your teacher happens to be a drag queen, then she's a fucking drag queen. And guess what? She shouldn't be wearing hooker pumps and a mini skirt when she teaches. If she's a drag queen, let her be a drag queen in a fucking sweater and khakis.

Like a preschool teacher's supposed to dress. Because it's a little too young for kids to be thinking about sex. Because we don't want to get them sexualized. And then they start fucking at 11. And then they're having kids that they're not ready for. You know, it's like. They can't even abort. They can't even abort.

Unless you're in New York. Because New York, baby. Check this out. Drag Queen Story Hour is a 501c3 nonprofit organization specializing for experiences for children and teens from three to 18. C3 as in they see three genders from a person. They see three genders. Here's the deal. I'll even add this in. Comedy is inappropriate for kids. Comedy. I don't want you bringing your kid to see me. And I'm speaking to you, the Greek community. If you book me, which I'm going to say

no now, but when I was taking the money and I go there and I see a 90-year-old yaya and then the grandkids there, I'm going, what are we doing? You hired me. I'm a comedian. Okay? And you're hiring me because you see Mr. Panos, who is not for kids. If the kids happen to see it and they like it, that's their business. It's your family.

Okay? It's adult humor. I do adult humor i will admit you know my concepts not not just the content but some of the concepts it's like there's no eight-year-old who could understand what i'm saying i'm a smart comic there's no point for him to be there you can't have comedians coming into your grade schools let alone drag and i bring up comedians because drag shows are our nightclub our nightclub acts that's where drag shows happen it's nightclubs okay it's dudes fucking in clear heels doing splits and you're going like holy

shit i didn't know a guy with testosterone could do a split like that and it's pretty amazing to watch as they lip sync someone else's song like you're watching a James Gordon show. So what are we doing mixing these two things? It seems like a forced effort. And my point is this gives the right ammunition because most normal people, whether they will admit it or not, and oftentimes they won't because they feel like they're going to be judged or yelled at, right, are not comfortable with it. Dare I say, even some of the people who are acquiescing and saying they're comfortable with it are not comfortable with it because there's something intrinsically like, ugh,

about it, forced. There's something like, you know, I wouldn't be comfortable if dan soda who's one of my favorite comics and good friends was performing at my fucking daughter's school yeah and he's not even that fucking controversial all the kid does is talk about smoking weed but i know he's gonna be in the fucking bathroom hitting his vape pen smelling like weed i don't want anyone who knows luis gomez performing for my daughter. True. Let alone a drag queen.

No comic should perform for kids unless you're Chris D'Elia. No, that's the one you don't want to perform for. Okay. Yeah. But in this time

we're only seeing appropriate. It does seem like it's a little forced though but this is coming from a society that had a dinosaur that sung to teach kids

about the ABCs and 1, 2, 3s. So I'm saying if you're going to go that route, you got to get our attention. Because I grew up on a scene, a dinosaur, a purple dinosaur. And also blues clues like your shirt. Yes, there you go. I set you up for it. You nailed it home.

Nice. But if you're going to do that, you got to go all the way, man. If you're going to introduce that side, maybe do it through cartoons. Maybe have a gay dinosaur that sings. I'm sure we could google it and find it tyrannosaurus yes yeah yeah it's the gay dinosaur um there's a probably a way to teach kids about acceptance that's not so heavy-handed is my point you know there's just a way to do that there's a way to just bring up people from the past like like Michelangelo, talk about how at certain times it was looked at as bad for these reasons. And you shouldn't do that.

You shouldn't discriminate against anyone. Now let's get back to the ABCs and one, two, threes. Okay. Sexuality is not, is not so black and white kids. Okay. But maybe not at four, we have to say that, but at some point along the route you know you can bring those things up and move on or if you have a a health class or something when you get into high school when it's appropriate because we're way too repressed sexually as a you know as a society i believe in the first place bring it up hey you know some people do this and then maybe there's some lesbians out there who are struggling with it. That's fine.

Whatever. There's gay people in the world and there ain't nothing wrong with it. But this whole forced war, you know, where they're like, I mean, what are we doing? Guys, you have to check out dad grass. Ooh, gives you that chill buzz that dad used to get. Like we used to get CBD, my friend, you want to smoke a little CBD, a little hemp CBD. I love it, dude. I take CBD all the time. It works. I'm not just saying that it works for me. Like you should try it and see if it works for you. Cause it mellows me out, dude. Before I go to bed sometimes, I'll do a little CBD.

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So get 20% off your first order when you go to dadgrass.com slash fumes. That's dadgrass.com slash fumes for 20% off your order. Dadgrass.com slash fumes. What are we doing? Why does it have to be a drag queen story hour? Like why? Like when it was story hour, nobody says, okay, now it's white guy story hour.

Or hey guys, now it's black story. I mean, it's like just make it Story Hour. And if it's a Black Story, tell the fucking story. Or you make it like an arts and crafts lesson. Yeah. This is how you draw a contour, kids. Yeah. If you like the more ha-ha-ha-ha laughs, just listen to the guest episodes.

But this is one that's a little bit more of a long day. And I know people go, why? I just want to escape. Well, maybe we've been doing a little bit too much of that, maybe we've been doing a little bit too much of that. Maybe we've been doing a little bit too much of that. Okay? You all know I'm funny and I can turn it on whenever I want. But maybe we've been doing a little too much of that.

I just wanted to get the zealot eyes going. You saw those eyes in Cavanaugh. They were there. They're there. You ever look at Clarence Thomas for more than two seconds? He's looking. He wants to hurt people. Clarence Thomas got permanent get off my lawn face.

Yeah. Yeah, he does not want kids playing in front of his house. He's what you call a buzzkill. He's not a dude who you can have a good time with but he's a dude who he's one of those guys who obviously like is real takes himself very seriously and then in private does some horrific stuff yeah he's got like a bill cosby vibe like that like hey guys stop cursing uh you know stop cursing stop cursing it's bad shame shame shame shame shame and then in the private life he's doing something you're just like, you know.

He's got to paddle. He's got to paddle. He's got to paddle. He's got to paddle. He just looks like a principal, you know. The ruler would come out and he'd say, put your hand on the desk. Discipline. That's what he believes.

He's a guy who'd make you pick your own switch to get a whooping. Right? Black community knows about that. Right? Go pick your switch and you're going to get whooped.

He kind of just looks like the Farina man that didn't make it on the box. The Farina man that didn't make it on the box. He's like, yeah, Clarence, we like your energy, but you just can't smile

the way you can, so we're going with him. So all this time while the left has been fighting all these purity wars, you know, intimidating everyone who had a different thought or maybe a more moderate position and forcing them to the right,

the right was mobilizing for fights like this. And by right, I mean the extreme right because they're still there. They didn't disappear. It's a very Christian country. And now they feel empowered because they got the Supreme Court. They feel empowered

because a million swing voters, a million. This is an AP poll. An AP poll reports 1 million highly educated suburban voters who typically represent swing votes have switched parties to the GOP. They've switched. In the pride, that's very pride month of them. They transitioned, yes. They transitioned. They now. Yes, they transitioned They now identify as something else

So for every action there's an equal but opposite reaction and here we have it now They're marching forward and it's really we're all beholden to this war between these not factions who have somehow, and I know some, by being loud, by being the loudest people, have really taken over the cultural conversation. You think they're going to go after gay marriage next? That's the fear. Of course they're going after gay marriage, and they're going after contraception.

Of course. Of course. And they rationalize it as this is not caught in the constitution but you're going like i know what you're doing you don't believe this you were put into the court to do this by a large portion of the body politic who doesn't want this and they're not not that large, okay? Because I think the majority are obviously in the middle and either lean left or right. And that's obviously the healthiest place to be, in the middle and lean left and right. And I've often said, I think the

even healthier place to be is to understand both positions as a citizen and understand the need for different things at different times. Okay. You can't just stay with the course as one, you know, like I said, sometimes the economy needs a boost. You have to deregulate some stuff. You have to boost the economy. Sometimes it needs a boost where you got to dump socialism into the economy by bailing someone out. That's a left position. You know, you got to sometimes unemployment's low. You got to kick up benefits. That's socialism.

That's a left position. You have a pandemic. What are you going to do? You're going to stick to laissez-faire capitalism during a pandemic? I mean, are we children still? I mean, what are we doing here? I mean, what do we do? What do we do with ideas? I mean, what are we doing here i mean uh what do we do what do we do with id i

mean what are we doing here what are you going to stick to laissez-faire capitalism during a pandemic where nobody's working you know all right try that try it see what happens see how quick your gates are overrun by hungry people who are going to eat your fucking butler and shit in your foyer they know they know these people are hypocrites they fucking know they espouse one thing publicly who are going to eat your fucking butler and shit in your foyer. They know. They know. These people are hypocrites. They fucking know. They espouse one thing publicly because it benefits them. Oh, low taxes, whatever, fucking deregulate,

because they're making money on it. But as soon as there's a pandemic or something beyond their control that makes the population hungry, they know for survival we need to give some handouts here. We need to give some handouts and buy these, no matter how they frame it in their mind, they go, hey, let's pay some people off or whatever it is to keep them off my lawn. They end up employing the tools of socialism. So anyone outside of the bounds of understanding that you need both is an extremist in my definition. And that's what's happened. And that's what's happened.

You know, you never hear AOC go up there and go, well, you know, business is good in some way because it makes for a dynamic economy. It creates jobs. And sometimes tax cuts can be very good for a corporation because they bring jobs. You'll never hear her say that. And you'll never hear fucking our hooter waitress, Bo Burt, go like, you know, our laws should really be based on reason.

And, you know, everything should be taken on a case-to-case basis. You'll never hear that. She'll just go, Jesus! Jesus said! What would Jesus do? Everybody's in the closet politically. This is a time where a lot of people are in the closet politically. They are.

And they're not saying what they want to say. And if you do say it, like I often do, you know, you get censored. The algorithms have not helped in this. Because the algorithms are about making money. Okay. Just like the corporations who throw up rainbows everywhere and all that, they're just trying to make money. The virtue signaling is a way to win over what they view as their strongest consumer base. What's the popular thing at the time? Okay. And they go for that and they go, all right, we got the most diverse generation

we've ever had. Okay. It's the same reason why Fusion, the network I used to work for, was founded. They looked at the demographics. They saw this huge shift in Latin population of youth and diversity. And they said the population shifting, this is what the kids want. This is the best way to sell them stuff because this is what they believe. It's the same reason why, you know, you start hearing certain music on certain things and they're just trying to make money. They're just trying to pander to make money. And so the algorithms are doing the same thing. Here's Burger King, time to be proud and it's a rainbow on a Whopper. Because they want people to go, hey, Burger King is with what I believe. Burger King's hip. I'll eat at Burger King. I'll ignore the

fact that that thing is made of straight poison, sat on a truck for fucking 10. I'll ignore the fact that they have all these fucking unethical farmlands, probably in South America where they, where they raise cattle and pay workers 13 cents because they got a rainbow flag up there. It's like putting a rainbow flag on a pack of cigarettes. You're going, really? You guys are the good guys.

Yeah. But look a little closer. They got two tops and two bottoms. Oh. There you go. Why? Why are we going there? Why are we making a sexual reference?

Why? Yeah, two buns. There you go. Oh, and it's funny. Oh, and it's sexualized. Then we're free. And the transversion comes with an impossible whopper. Exactly.

You know, and the algorithms are doing the same thing. They're doing it. They make examples out of certain people to win over what they feel like is the more coveted consumer base. Yeah. Which is this diverse young population that their metrics tell them is the coveted demographic. That's fine. Do that, but don't act like you're right or die with that all the time. Don't act like you're not just a self-interested money-making machine is my point.

And don't act like my content is dangerous to society. At the same time as having up violent murder videos shootings all the stuff that they show and that's kind of steeped in the american culture too it's like whoa he said something or whoa janet jackson's nipple came out time for a congressional hearing do you remember that shit her fucking nipple came out for a second and they were like oh my god the kids were watching it's like now we have drag queen story hour yeah so it's like her nipple came out for a second and they were like, oh my God, the kids were watching. It's like now we have drag queen story hour. Yeah. So it's like her nipple came out.

Yeah. Guess what? It's a nipple. You know what it is to a kid? A happy place where it gets milk. Most people didn't even see the fucking nipple. It happened. Do we need a congressional hearing over a fucking nipple?

That's because this fucking right wing Protestant puritanical fucking culture is there. It's still there. Very hypocritical. This isn't the way to fight it. This isn't the way to fight it. This is not the way to fight it. You know? Going too far

and trying to fight fire with fire only creates more fire. You know who was too far and trying to fight fire with fire only creates more fire. You know who was the best at this? This is a long day. I don't give a fuck. This is just what I want to talk about this. I get it. Be free, son.

You know who is the best? A lot of people think Martin Luther King, you know, a lot of it's propaganda. Put a doctor on that. Dr. Martin Luther King. Yeah, that's another one. What are you? He's a doctor of theology. on that. Dr. Martin Luther King. There you go. Yeah, that's another one. What, he's a doctor of theology? All right, right.

Doctor. Yeah, I'll go see him when I have a spiritual crisis. He's a doctor of monogamy, but he failed. He was not a doctor of monogamy. That's true. That's, he was a man. Doctor, thank God he was getting his balls drained, too. The kid had a stressful fucking job.

I mean, imagine his wife, people yelling at him for that. Like, oh, you were cheating on your wife. Yeah, you know, but what else I was that's the that's what the left's been doing the left's been going oh maybe we should get rid of dr moon oh maybe we should get rid of abraham lincoln oh maybe we should take these statues you're going like they're historical i mean i get the southern the confederate statues i get that but then when you start going about these other people who were generally positive but had some negative things, like even Thomas Jefferson, you're going like, I get he did some bad stuff, dog.

But, I mean, look at the other body of work that he did. You know what I mean? You're going to just look for every impurity. And that's what the left ended up doing. They became fucking what they hated because that's what the zealots on the right do. It's a religion. They're going, oh, he's impure. He had a bad thought.

So aren't you supposed to be progressive and forgive and understand that he was a man of his time? You know, what did you expect him to be? You expected him to be Lizzo? It was fucking 1700s. Who was Lizzo? There were no Lizzos. There was nobody woke back then

because it didn't exist. And if it were Lizzo's, Thomas Jefferson was going to take him down. He was going to take him down and probably impregnate her. Yeah. Expecting him to be like Lizzo is the same as expecting him to whip out an iPhone. It's just not possible. It didn't exist at that address in time. It's a balance.

It's a balance of things. He had the horrible shit, but he does have a body of work. A much bigger body. They're all light-skinned bodies, but it is a balance of things. He had the horrible shit, but he does have a body of work. A much bigger body. They're all light-skinned bodies, but it is a body of work. Yeah. You know? So here we are. I was making a great point.

We got sidetracked. Dr. Martin Luther King was my point. So Dr. Martin Luther King. Look, I love the guy, but I'm not going to call him doctor. Martin Luther King. I'm sticking to what my beliefs are. My beliefs are if you can't fucking save my life, you're not a doctor. Okay?

Unless we're playing role play. And I'm coming into the doctor's office. And then I'll let you be doctor. And I'll say I got a boo-boo. And the boo-boo's right there. There's your comedy, you fucking savages. You fucking babies. You children. Grow up. Let let's talk it's time for

some adult conversation what the fuck is a free a lot of people are blaming like i don't even blame like i understand chapelle and i understand what was the other one than that i understand what they were doing dude it's like i think nanette was made made some decent points on her thing comedy it's like they're trying to kill comedy. There's like some things where you got to talk about a little bit. You know, it's like George Carlin wasn't always funny. This is like what's happening at the time. It's not just a silly time anymore.

The Obama era was a silly time. Let's get silly. I'll fucking play a guitar and tell you a one-liner. If you do that now, people are going like, they just overturned Ray V. Wade. Can you say something yeah i will i will say something because i got some points and then i'll get back to the comedy i don't want to be doing this that's the thing people think i want to be doing this i don't

want to be doing this have you seen the maurice character have you watched history hyenas i enjoy futzing around i enjoy having a good time. I enjoy talking about cologne with Brett Ernst. There's a time and a place. I love playing this game with Jared where he goes, you forgot something and there's nothing in his hand. I'm a comedian.

I would rather be having a good time than trying to help you fucking children out there who have your head in the sand. Martin Luther King, can you stop banging, you cunt? That's the water bug. That's a genderless cunt. Yeah, that's the water bug.

That's how big it was. We have a water bug somewhere in this room. So Martin Luther King's strategy, a lot of people don't know, was he was a very realistic guy. His whole strategy was targeting moderates. That's a well-known historical fact. His whole plan was to target moderates, meaning he knew you couldn't change the extremists. You can't go argue with the racists or any radicals. radicals go try go try and change go try and change

bobert's opinion go try to sit down there and have a point-by-point discussion and see if she leaves with a different opinion or you leave it it's not going to happen these people are out of their fucking mind he also knew that they were a minority because most of the time people who were out of their mind are a minority. Most people are reasonable. And if you talk to them in a certain way, employing the Socratic method in a gentle way, sugarcoating ways, there's ways to do it. What he knew and what made him brilliant is he was a brilliant marketer in the way that

he targeted what he called the silent moderate majority. what he called the silent moderate majority. So what he did was he wanted those images on TV of cops hosing people. He wanted those images, believe it or not. Now that's some of the uncomfortable truths that people who get things done know and employ. Those are some of the methods that people who actually get things fucking done because their

feet are firmly planted on the ground and they know what they're dealing with. That's what they do. That's what Dr. Martin Luther King did. This is not up for debate. He has said it many times in his private writings. It's a known thing where he admitted that was my strategy. Get that on the TVs. call the cameras i want that viciousness to happen it's bad when it's happening to those people in the moment but that's exactly what i want i want normal people to see this to see how evil this side is i'm not going to sit there and try to negotiate which whatever his name was boss hog or whatever his fucking name was or the other guy it was a couple of radicals.

Remember their names? I don't remember their names because it's good that I don't remember their names. You know the guy I'm talking about. He ran for president or some shit, whatever his fat fucking name was. Reb Now? No, no, back then. There was this white guy. Yeah, I can't remember his name.

He was McGarver something, McGarver something. You know, there was a few champions of the other side who were like champion segregation, championing against civil rights. He wasn't going to sit down at the table with those guys. What are you going to achieve? Except, all you're going to achieve

doing that is making a good Maury episode. Yeah. That's all it's going to be. Orville Forbis was a big one too. Yeah, there was a few of those fucks. He knew that.

George McGovern, there you go. And another one. There was another racist one. He knew. So he was targeting them. Nobody's speaking to those people anymore. Neither is the algorithm. And the algorithm, back to my point, is doing that because it makes money. It makes money. Okay? It makes money. And that's why they do it. That's why the algorithm pulls you in further to the thing you watched as opposed to going like, hey, you just watched that, but look at this other thing that makes a great point. They don't do that.

They pull you deeper into your biases because you're going to watch more. Right? And then they pretend like they're this moral curator. They're not. They're a money-making machine, which is a problem. Certain areas, when you have business, it's a weird thing.

It would be a weird thing. Like, if the police went private, that would be a weird thing. Prisons being private is a weird thing, right? When there's a profit motive, and you go, I'm a private prison, that's a weird thing. Prisons being private is a weird thing, right? When there's a profit motive and you go, I'm a private prison, that's a weird thing because guess what they need?

They need prisoners. So guess what happens? Ah, yeah, you had a bag of weed? Come on, you know. We need prisons. And we also need some free labor to make a fucking licensed place or whatever. And I'm in bed with this company

and then we'll have you do... It's bad. Certain things can't be private. So that's gone. That's been gone. And that's why comedy, there's certain comedy that's allowed and there's certain comedy that's not. Let's just be honest. If you're speaking from a position of historical privilege no matter how funny you are we're not listening

because we're thinking of a lot of other things besides funny and that's what we're going to do we're trying to engineer this thing to make it look like we're not just a greedy self-interested money-making machine but we're actually these ambassadors of virtue. What are you talking about?

You're fucking HBO. What are you talking about? You have shareholders and you have a profit margin. What are you talking about? Why are you talking to me like you're a social service organization? You ain't fucking Lutheran social services. You're not fucking walking around feeding the poor, okay? You're throwing up a smoke screen to appease kids who are sitting there going, virtue, virtue. What do you believe? You're not welcome at this party. You're not welcome at this party.

What did you say? You said Nick DiPaolo used to be funny. You're not welcome at this party. You're not welcome at this party. What did you say? You said Nick DiPaolo used to be funny? You're not welcome at this party. You actually admitted he's a good writer? Because he is. You're not welcome at this party. Has he gone off the deep end? I'll let you judge. Tune in. Is he a great technical

comedian? That's beyond, you can't argue that. Okay? Louis C.K., you took your dick out and you asked. You're not welcome Technical comedian? That's beyond, you can't argue that, okay? Louis C.K., you took your dick out and you asked, you're not welcome at this party. In fact, if you thought any of his previous specials were funny, you need to look within yourself to think why you would allow a predator to manipulate you because he is funny, okay? People are flawed.

The kid likes taking his fucking dick out. Was he a creep? Yeah. Doesn't mean he wasn't funny, okay? Doesn't mean a woody allen movie is not good even if he did it okay those two things exist at the same time you you want me to fucking look at annie holland go now it's no good it's still good if it came down that they found they had hard video evidence that woody allen was I'll soften it a little bit. Even I'll catch myself. He was doing inappropriate things with his stepdaughter or daughter or whatever.

Still, Woody Allen's a good movie. What do you want me to do? Still, I'm disappointed if I can't catch it on fucking Amazon Prime. I'm disappointed. Okay? The movie didn't doodle anyone. Bill Cosbyby great storyteller cosby show funny show okay he wasn't playing bill cosby on well he kind of was but it was a

fictional character i mean what you and then they just take all that stuff off yeah they take it off they take it off like he did some bad things he did some bad thing you know who he did some bad things. He did some bad things. You know who else did some bad things? Barack Obama. Hillary Clinton. This selective fucking morality. You know? You know, Barack Obama ordered some bombs, and not everyone who got hit deserved to get hit.

That's how that works. It's a messy fucking world. get hit. That's how that works. It's a messy fucking world. I'm not excusing these things. I'm just saying, let's not turn our back on reality. And there's other, you know, there's other facets to a three-dimensional event, person, place, and thing. And adults recognize that. But since we've entered this period of extended youth, which I knew happened a while ago, once comfort got to a certain level, and as Socrates warned in the Republic, freedom always gets to that point where the old are acting like the young, the young are acting like the old, there's no authorities anymore,

and it just kind of breaks down. So it's kind of a combination of two things that's happened to us. That inevitable kind of going too far of freedom and also what's accelerated that is the amenities of modernity. All right, so that's enough of that. So while the Democrats were fucking playing this purity game,

they forgot about the other team that was also playing the purity game. And maybe this will make the left look in the mirror a little bit and be like, wow, we were really excuriating people. We were really acting very, what would you say? They were acting orthodox extremists. What would you say? Fundamentalist. They were acting very fundamentalist. You know, if someone agreed with them on seven things, if they found that they didn't agree on two things, that person was called a Nazi and just kicked out, excommunicated. That's what the church would do. Hey, you're a good person. You've done all this good stuff. You haven't done a crime.

Well, guess what? You jerked off on Wednesday. You're out of the church. You're out of the church. You said the world revolves around the sun and not everything revolving around the earth, that threat, you're out because that threatens the orthodoxy of our beliefs. That's out. I need it to be true. It's like trying to,

trying to ask questions to a crypto. They do the same thing. You talk to a crypto, fuck it, I want to go, hmm, I'm suspicious.

Before we start this conversation, I want to know if we can have an honest conversation about crypto. So I need to, I have a few prerequisite questions. First of them being, do you own crypto? Oh, you do.

Okay. Well, then I'm not sure if I can have an honest conversation about the merits and future of crypto with someone who really needs it to have value for very selfish reasons. I'm not sure if we can have an honest conversation about this, right? I'm not sure. I'm not sure if you're the right person for this. I'd rather talk to someone who doesn't have crypto who can explain to me. And guess what? Coincidentally, that second conversation with the person who doesn't own crypto will be a lot more nuanced. You know

it. They'll go, well, I see some positives here. Maybe in the future there's a digital currency. And they'll make a couple of jokes about the fees that these sites charge you. They'll make a couple of jokes about the bubble. They'll make a couple of jokes about the fucking delusions people have been living in there. We're living in an era where there's a war against reality reality is a suggestion okay even in the tech world trying to create a metaverse you know someone complained that they got assaulted in the metaverse you remember that one and they were trying to press charges you're going that's not physically possible because you weren't there you can't get assaulted your avatar got groped it's a gang rape yeah so this is where we've been

you know and now it's percolating it's culminating into absolute chaos are you pulling up the metaverse sexual grope

yeah yeah a researcher's avatar A researcher's... Avatar. Yeah, a researcher's avatar was sexually assaulted on a metaverse platform, making her the latest victim of sexual abuse

on meta platforms. Now, I get it. You go on some of these sites, people are less than polite, you know? But, uh, you couldn't have been sexually assaulted because it's an avatar i smell lawsuit exactly a lawsuit against meta why not they'll win yeah and they will win and they will win like it hurt my feelings i was felt threatened and you go

wait you weren't there where how did you feel my life i felt my life was in jeopardy when i i what i was doing is i was passing that fake park and there were a couple of construction workers one of them touched my fake butt with his fake hand and said a few things to me and i felt dangerous threatened and vulnerable and then they'll look at the coffers of facebook and facebook will go fucking, fucking, we got this money. How do you even know that, though? Like, does your iPhone vibrate when your ass gets touched? Well, that's what they'll probably end up doing. They'll be like, we'll have a security.

They'll be like fake police officers. It'll just keep going. Be fake police officers walking around. You're going to have an SVU. SVU, you're going to ignore security. They'll do like a police chase, and then the guy will just get out of his car and go wait a second you're not real cops it'll be like an extreme version of getting chased by a mall cop yeah you know you'll turn around go wait a second you're not a real cop this ain't even a real place you have a digital rape whistle yeah digital rape whistle. You blow it. People run.

They go, wait, are you safe? They go, no, I'm not safe. Wait a second. I think you, where are you? Where am I? Well, I'm in my home. I'm in my home. I'm in my home alone in my game room.

So I'm fine. But my amortized in DJ. In fact, I would think the opposite. I think that would be a safe place to feel a little bit what it's like to get murdered or go in there and be like, hey, let me feel that. Yeah. Yeah. And act in fantasy. Yeah.

There we go. It all comes back to sex. Always. Always. Dude, if I go into the metaverse, I ain't going in as me. I mean, what's the point? I'm going to get a little glimpse of what it feels like to actually be black. I'm going to get a little glimpse Of what it feels like To actually be black I'm gonna get a little glimpse

Of what it feels like To actually be a woman I'm gonna feel like Get a little glimpse Of what it actually feels like To be Mark Zuckerberg And I'm gonna walk around You don't want that though

I'm gonna get that cut You wanna be broken From all reality What if you get on The metaverse bus And they make you sit in the back You don't wanna be No metaverse Rosa Parks

Then I'll have some insight maybe this is it maybe we should use it as a tool for insight put yourself in other people's position now you're a woman and then a lot of guys are going mommy what's up let me taste that nectar and you get a little vibe of what it's like to be harassed or you like it because you know it's not real and it's a little safe a little day we all like a little danger safe that's why we watch horror movies. Okay, so you use the metaverse for perspective. It's a metaverse for perspective or to live out a dark fantasy.

Everybody's got dark fantasies. Yeah. I want to know what it's like to be eaten by mice in a cave. You want to know what it's like to be not alone. I want to know what it's like to have a war with the mafia. Yeah. And then be able to take off my headset and just go fucking back to work at Panera Bread. That would be nice. That would be nice.

Yeah. You know? But, yeah, Jesse's right. There's a little, you know, there's money to be made. I was assaulted in the metaverse. I'm taking up a case against one of the richest things going. And I will. They all settle.

I mean, nobody wants to go to court they just settle they don't want the press they make you sign a gag order and they say just take this money and that's what it is it happens in hollywood too like a woman will you know and that's always quiet right so that's like the dark side to like me too stuff they'll be like someone hey you know what i i felt uncomfortable during our encounter. I felt uncomfortable. That's easy, I'm sorry. And I know of some of these stories personally that I won't say,

but it's like, hey, you can either fight it like Johnny Depp did and spend millions and millions of dollars, lose years and all this stuff, or you can just quietly make a deal, pay it off, and she'll be quiet, or he'll be quiet. And that happens more often than you think because that's the real world. And there's bad people with bad intentions in the real world and they're not going anywhere. No matter what you do to society, they're not going

anywhere. Bad people are molded. Who knows why it is? Maybe it could be just that it's fun and thrilling to be bad. But bad people aren't going anywhere. I don't care what you do to society. It ain't ending. And that's the problem with the left. They think they can create this utopia. It's not going to stop.

Okay? It's not going to stop. You try to change the hearts by targeting the moderate majority with things like racism, things like that. They lessen, they lessen, they lessen. They don't go away. Okay, you're going to have these, you do the best you can, but people don't, bad people don't go away. They don't go away.

You want good laws. The best thing that discourages evil is working against their self-interest. You know, it's like like that's the best thing. Good laws. You do this, you go to prison. You can't rely on the good nature of humans. I mean, that's what a naive person does. As the great Ethan Hawke said, if history has taught us anything, it's that the world can be an unreliable critic. You know? You can't rely on the world to tell you what's good or the majority to tell you what's good. The majority often has no idea what's good. You know what I mean?

I mean, I bet you I could find a thousand musicians who are better than Taylor Swift, but they ain't as pretty, they ain't as tall, you know? It's what it is. I bet you at the time of Van Gogh, there was some dude named Steve. Some Steve, Steve Harlington.

Somewhere in Holland who was caking off with his street art. I mean, probably just caking off. And it was just a pile of shit that happened to be cool at the time. Go listen to our episode on patreon what is cool we explore that is it just marketing is there something inherent that makes something cool but i guarantee there's a lot of guys who are making a lot of money

during when van gogh was fucking creating that brilliance and he was just completely ignored you know a lot of people aren't recognized Until afterwards Because the world is an unreliable critic Where are we at Time wise We're good We're at an hour Yeah a little over an hour God I really wanted to work

Some funnier stuff in there But I think hopefully Bo Burt working at Hooters Carries you over Because that's where she belongs You can clearly see When you're listening to certain people Who are like

Aren't fit to be in those positions. You know what I mean? Like, they're like, you're not, you're not a smart nut. You shouldn't be, you know, it's to the point where now that we got people who are too much a representation of the people. And you're like, we don't want that. We don't want that. And you're like, we don't want that. We don't want that. So she just openly now is saying she wants to get rid of church and state. And also the Supreme Court has upheld a few little decisions that imply that they're heading that same way, where they want to kind of chip away at the separation of church and state, which is a Jeffersonian ideal and very important to a liberal democracy, very important to the rule of law, to reason. I mean, we are really chipping away at reason, but the left has nobody to blame but themselves because they've been

chipping away at reason for a little while. And that's the danger of it because you made yourself a horrible example of what is reasonable you made a horrible you gave them ammunition to go look at what they're saying and most people going yeah that's not real either and then a lot of people now are making the compromise going like, I don't want any more of that. So I will, war makes for strange bedfellows. I will side with that to clean it up. And I've been making jokes about that for episodes, about how a religious dictator is coming.

Get ready. Joel Osteen is coming, baby. If you don't think A popular religious figure With great appeal Is going to run for president You don't have a sense Of what has happened already in the past Religious revivals happen all the time

And they ain't fun It ain't a fun period It ain't a fun period It's going to make Drag queen story hour It ain't a fun period. It ain't a fun period. It's going to make Drag Queen Story Hour look like a fucking free speech Anthony Kumiya compound party. That's what that's going to look like. It's going to look like it's going to make the compound of Anthony Kumiya's compound look like the most accepting and understanding and empathetic and diverse place you've ever seen in your entire life? When these fucking guys get power, when Joel Osteen gets elected via all these redistricted fucking districts and all these

one over moderate voters who have swung to the right, we're all going into pograbs AOC. who have swung to the right. We're all going into Pograb's AOC. I'm going to beg for AOC. I'm going to beg for AOC's Human Rights Task Force who's going to put me in a fucking drag queen story hour so she can re-educate me on the virtues of diversity once these fucking maniacs take power, okay? Because they are Christian ayatollahs, baby.

We are heading back to the christian fucking taliban we are getting i want to watch a witch burning on television and it's not going to be britney spears they'll probably make her a senator so i look forward to it okay i look forward to seeing fucking, what's her name? Olivia Rodrigo. Fucking on New Year's Eve, instead of dropping the ball, they drop her straight into a guillotine. I look forward to it. And why do they do it? Because she decided to do, fuck the SCOTUS.

You're 17. Play that you're upset that your boyfriend didn't fucking drive you past your cul-de-sac. I'm giving you strong advice because there's video of that. There's video of that, okay? Me and you, I'm looking forward in five years, right? I'm looking forward in five years. Jesse beheaded. Jesse's beheaded, right?

They're just beheaded. They go, what do you believe? He goes, I don't really believe anything. I'm not into religion or anything. They're going, oh, that's nice. They're going to give you the, oh, that's nice. That's nice. Oh, yeah. We have a deal for you.

No, Jesse's actually not going to be beheaded. They'll be like, I like the sculpture. I like that sculpture. It's nice. Will you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and this endowment to sculpt the Virgin Mary from now on and Jesus? Yes, I will.

No more, yeah, no more fat people, Jesse. No more humorous sculpturals. Never again. We're not going to do any fat people on the beach. No more of these portraits. I want you to join us in religious iconography. Yes, your grace. And you know know that's what a lot of the artists of those times had to do they didn't want to do that you think michelangelo wanted to fucking sit

on the the only part that he liked that's why he made all the dudes naked because he was sitting there it's the only he did a little bit for himself he would rather be doing art shows in soho with cool people but when that religious dictator comes, that's it. Yanni? Oh boy, they're hanging me upside down. Oh yeah. They're going to put you on display. Oh yeah, Tim Dillon will be forced to have sex with women. You know how funny that will be? He won't be able to just...

Yeah, it's not really my scene. I like the guys. I like the twinks. Just watching Tim Dillon go... It's like Tim Dillon trying to eat a dessert he doesn't like that he wants off the menu. Just Legion of Skanks. Oh, man, we'll be at their burning. They'll do that on Governor's Island. You see all three of them up there.

Dave Smith will still be going. Wait a second. Let me tell you some of the libertarian tenants that make this unreasonable. He's trying in there. And Jay's just sitting there fucking quiet. You know, Lewis go, fuck you. I'll fucking fight you off. Oh, fuck, I'm not going quietly.

And Dave's going, wait a second. Let's discuss this. Does anyone want to debate me? Does anyone want to debate me? And they go, we'd love to let you debate debate the flames by which we set these faggots afire have a good time debating the flames dan soter they just turn you know they throw him in a river gone nate bargatze president president vice president nate bargatze vice president. President. Vice president, Nate Bargatze. Vice president. Oh, they reinstill all the comedians they want? Oh, yeah. Cosby, they're like, those women shouldn't

have been doing what they were doing. They should be at home. They shouldn't be seeking out the sexual pleasures of someone. Bill Cosby was doing the work of God. They're all coming back, dog. Oh, God. Legal marriage age, they get rid of that because of God. We want you to tootle. These girls need to be raised up. 14, too late. We want them to learn from an age of 12 up.

I just want to do the rest of this podcast with crazy eyes. Look for these someone who believes in anything this much is gonna make it a turn on you at first it's nice because you didn't know you were making a deal with the devil but look at the eyes these eyes i love what you're doing i love the work you're doing, Jesse. I love the sculptures. Now, will you do those sculptures while you're getting whipped on your back for the sins you've committed? If you don't think the next episode of this,

we're done with this. I want to erase our entire page. We're done. Okay, because we're off the radar. This is done. The next episode of this, I'm going to be in a fucking priest collar. It's going to be on Quibi. It's going to be, I'm going to be in a priest collar and I'm going to be talking about the religious revival that we need to save the soul of America right there. Okay. That's it. The conversation around abortion

should not be two extreme sides yelling at each other. To tie it back into what I was saying about Martin Luther King, both sides need to be talking to the moderate majority, the silent moderate majority who wants a reasonable law, who understands that both sides are wrong. Okay. Because you know, when it comes to the left, they just want everything. That's like my body, my choice. I don't care if it's nine months, I should be able to whack the thing right before it pops his head out. And then the left is going like, you shouldn't be able to have an abortion

no matter what. I don't care if you were gang raped. That baby was ordained by Jesus's will. It should be here. It could be president of the United States. Those are both wrong. Most people know they're wrong. Again, stop trying to have arguments with anyone who would argue those points. Don't waste your time because it's only a few people. They're allowed, so you think that there's more of them, but there's not. What does Europe do? Europe does something reasonable, right, Jesse?

I think it's 15 weeks. 15 weeks 15 weeks so once the baby can survive out of the womb why not that's illegal guess who that appeases the right okay but before that you can have an abortion first three months or whatever when it's a fetus before it can survive out that appeals to the left and then everyone just fucking walks away miserable the extremists walk away miserable. Like a good business deal, everybody's upset because that's how you get something done in the real world, by appealing to the moderate majority that's silent. Like I'm trying to do with this podcast, but you can't find me because the algorithm don't

promote nuance. This has been Long Days, and now let's get to some Patreon shoutouts. Guys, freaking cold. This is your new water company, freakingcold.com. Go order a case. It's as simple as that. No more plastic bottles. Go with aluminum.

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And he told me the show was good. Yeah. And then they asked me, they were like, I wish one day we can afford you to come to come down there i was going like should this be the moment i let them how it works let them know how it works it's like i just told them because i love them i like them i love them i was like hey i'll come to your spot you know you're not asking me to go perform at a venue i mean i'm performing on a roof yeah i gotta work on new jokes i'll come to your spot for fucking free just just send some sodas to the studio in fact that'll be the deal so it is i'll come do a fucking show they put a show together there we'll come do it yeah so we'll put one together at what

is that is that their place or their business it's like it's like they're renting it out but the top of it is like a venue spot or like it's an apartment whatever so let's do one this summer we'll do one in august or something like that yeah brooklyn for another one i'll plan it brooklyn cannery.com go get it man theseas are unbelievable. They're made with natural ingredients, no added sugar, low in calories. They're prebiotics, so they're good for your gut. They get the sweetness, I guess, comes from the monk fruit, the stevia, all types. It's all natural, and they're delicious. Trust me on the key lime jalapeno and the root beer and the ginger beer.

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