You Are Being Unreasonable - 002 - In which the chickens are released

Episode Date: January 18, 2018

In our second episode of You Are Being Unreasonable, people are furious about early Christmas shoppers, book etiquette is discussed, wedding speeches are made, and chickens are released. (The audio for this episode got a bit heavily clipped so some sentences might cut off prematurely. Sorry!)

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when their prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now

Hello and welcome to another episode of You Are Being Unreasonable Hello, this is Helen And Simon We're going to talk about people being unreasonable on mum's net.com I've picked some choice cuts from the Am I Being Unreasonable Board

discussing some depth I'm hot takes We do a speed round first I'm just going to ask Simon the thread titles and he's going to decide Quick fire Am I Being Unreasonable? photos at Remembrance Day service

I see No context Are they being unreasonable Yes Yes they are Am I being unreasonable Have I spent my entire adult life Stuffing the wrong end of chickens

Are they being unreasonable More details required No it's a speed round No It doesn't matter Am I being unreasonable To not want bizarre stringy tit anchors on my bras

No Am I being unreasonable to buy 300 pound Christmas tree Yes that's too big That's flammable Am I being unreasonable Calling an unborn baby girl A little bitch

Yes Geez Yes What could that baby have done We're not going to find out On that thread Sorry Last one

Am I being unreasonable To tell my mum To fuck right off No Good Some, you know Some of us do have them Should we do some full threads

Okay We've got a couple of A couple of brilliant ones This one is very good Because it is very specific Am I being unreasonable to not understand where people on MN have done all their Xmas shopping? Sarah J. Connor asked. Xmas is still six weeks away and the shops will all have sales events in the next four weeks.

So why are there so many threads where people have completed all their Xmas shopping? I'm confused. Am I being unreasonable? I know lots of places put their price up to put back down again. Is it cheaper to shop now or just less stressful? I have 52 presents to buy, in addition to DH and 2DC. So I'm genuinely very interested to learn the cheapest, best, least stressful way to manage this. So it isn't an I know best threat. I hate shopping and I want to learn.

Just to clarify, that's 52 presents that she needs to buy. That was the first point I was going to come back to. So that's 52 presents in addition to her actual family. Yes. Is this one present per person she knows? That doesn't become clear. There might be a massive drip feed further down the thread that explains it. All right.

But let's have a quick skim. Let's start with the actual question first. Okay. What are Mumsnetters like boasting about how much shopping they've completed? Not that I have noticed while I've been looking for things to discuss on this podcast. Some people say, oh, I've done all my shopping. And other people say, okay. It doesn't seem to be a big trend.

I don't know. So for context, we're recording on mid-November. It's the 12th of November. Yeah. So I wouldn't expect you to have done all your Christmas shopping. Equally, it wouldn't seem unreasonable if you had. I think it would. Well...

Can I get bargains later? Yeah. I can't have bargains, hell, sweet bargains. But if it's just that you have done all your Christmas shopping and on a thread someone has said, how's everyone getting on with their Christmas shopping? And you say, oh, I've finished it. I don't think you can berate that person as unreasonably.

When you're throwing it into one's face. Yeah. Oh, I've finished it. I haven't seen people doing that. Or people bringing it up appropriate of nothing. Oh, what, like... On the thread about... Maybe that was why that unborn baby was a little bitch.

She'd done all the shopping. Or her mother had. I don't think it's fair to take it out on the unborn baby. Goodness me. No. No, no. I've come... I've found why she's buying 52 presents. She buys individual presents, much appreciative.

for the amazing women that work with me in my small business. I have quite a lot of super talented, mostly moms, working for me four to ten hours a week. And I like to do a big gratitude session for Xmas when I take them for a treat and get them a good present. So that comes across as smug. That seems like a business expense and part of your job. Yeah.

Yeah, you should do that. Also, is it up to her to say that these individual presents are much appreciated? And is it relevant? that these people are mostly mums. I'm not really sure what she's trying to achieve with this thread. Do you think this is Sarah Connor from The Terminator? Oh, I don't know.

Like the woman who the Terminator went back in time to kill? I don't remember Sarah Connor from The Terminator running what I assume is some sort of Avon-type business. No, I think she ran a resistance movement against the future oppression of the earth by robots. I mean, I might be completely misjudging this person and maybe her small business is just 52 mums working 4 to 10 hours a week on the resistant Yeah That seems nice

Hashtag resistant Hashtag 52 mums What do you get for 52 resistance mums Like, you know how in like dystopian movies They're all wearing those kind of woolly hats Yeah, but they have to all be individual presents You can't just get 52 hats You can't get a job lot

Knit, knit their initials on them Okay, well Amy, robot killer I mean, in Sarah Connor's defence, her original question was that she doesn't understand why people have done all their Christmas shopping. You don't understand either, so I suppose we're going to have to say that probably Sarah Connor is not being unreasonable? Okay. I understand. Have you got any final thoughts on Sarah Connor?

I haven't known my Christmas shopping. Have you got 52 resistant mums working for you? No, that makes it a lot easier for me. How many resistant mums do you have? 40 tops. Not that man And the robots haven't sent back an assassin to kill me Good

Good Should we move on Should we do another question Am I being unreasonable To want to cut my long tresses off Stop, what's a tress? Is that explained? It's like long hair

Why didn't they just say long hair? Well the reason that I selected this one is because I think if you call your hair tresses You're obviously unnaturally attached to it and you're probably best off not hacking it all off. But I'll read you the question. Yeah, let's go to the content. So, Jack Som says,

I've had long hair since the age of 15. I'm now 40, and it's a wiry grey, old lady mess, allergic to dyes. Yes, all of them. So don't ask me to dye my hair, as I hate the sore scalp and pain, pain, pain. No one's asking you too. Calm down.

She hasn't finished her question. It blows in my face, and it irritates me, even when it's tied back. being outdoorsy and active it just annoys me hot in the summer etc i envy those including my work colleagues who have silky thick hair mine used to be thick but it ain't any more i'm seriously sick of it and i want a pixie haircut something easy to manage quick to dry doesn't tangle blah blah blah anyone else made the drastic move from long to very short thanks for reading so just to clarify this is a grown-out woman asking the internet if she should cut off her hair which she clearly hates because it is getting in the way of her active lifestyle stealth boast why does she need anyone else's opinions at all yeah mate you do you just go for it go get it short yeah taking a picture of you know Natalie Portman when she had short

hair or Ruby Rose something a little more punky and say I want this this yeah however someone has Kira Knightley had short hair for a bit she did yeah these are all people first comment suggests that her head and ears will be cold and she'll need to embrace hats and her first response says that she loves hats and she can't wear them with her long grey hair it sounds like she hates her long grey hair yeah cut it off cut it off with kitchen scissors do a dramatic thing needle in the hay needle in the hay except without the suicide attempt yeah yeah anyway somebody is pointed out correctly that pixie cuts aren't that low maintenance because they require constant

you know trimming and what have you but given that this woman seems to hate her current hair and is a grown adult Helen Mirren she should just do it does Helen Mirren have short hair Judy Dench does Dame Judy Dench yeah be like Dame Judy Judy yeah an elegant older woman an elegant older woman if you just hate your hair get rid of it cut off those tresses exactly also hair grows hair grows so that's That's for that. Shave it off and get a series of wigs. Like a number of mannequins.

This is getting quite sinister. Not, it's not sinister to have wigs. I think it's creepy. Lots of people wear wigs. So you have different ones for different moods. Like, if you're super active, you wear your pixie cut. If you're just sitting there, admiring the hair of the other women in the office,

you might want your long tresses back. Get them long tresses. Very good. Do we do another one? Please. Would I be unreasonable? reasonable to let my chickens into next door's garden. Chickenless head asks. It's going to have to be a damn good explanation. Seeing as their three fucking cats spend

their days shitting in my DC sandpit and digging up my plants, I've tried everything, squirting with a water pistol, a sonic cat repellent, covering up the sand bit, they just shit on the cover then. I had little nest of robins in my tree earlier this year and when the cats knocked the nest over and put a baby bird on DC's slide. We have a low wall at the end of the garden that extends along the bottom of the next door's garden. My chickens are free range during the day and they've recently been hopping up onto this wall. D.H mentioned we should probably put some kind of fencing

to stop them walking along it and going into Nextdoor's garden but Nextdoor have no problem with their pets shitting all over mine and I'm inclined to feel the same about them. The cats are no threat to the chickens, by the way. The chickens have seen off many a cat in their time. One of the reasons I'm quite fond of them. Next door don't have a dog either,

so chickens would be quite safe there. So this is kind of revenge for the kids. cats coming into their garden, yes? Yeah, the cats shat on everything, and now she wants the chickens to go and shit on everything in the neighbour zone. It seems like this will descalate it. I think, so at one point her partner, her DH, suggests putting up some fencing. Surely if you put up some fencing, that would also maybe stop the cats from coming in quite

so easy. Nah, cats are sneaky. Maybe they could put a big fenced roof over their whole garden. That's just a conservator That's just an extension of the house I just worry that you won't get the chickens back Chickens are wily They'll get away

What if they'll like the neighbours more Well they probably will This one seems very irate No but I was worried about escalation Like I think once you let the chickens in there They'll let their dogs into your garden And then you have to let your bigger birds Your turkey into the neighbour's garden

Then the neighbour lets the horses into your garden Then you have to let the ostrich into the neighbour's garden and then it's elephants. I don't know why she swallowed a fly. Perhaps she'll die. Now you've got elephants in your garden and all your turkeys and ostrich next door. Yeah.

I think she would be best of maybe just asking the neighbours if they could try not to let the cats shit on... I think the neighbours are quite rightly saying you can't control cats. Well... Maybe you should, I don't know. Cover up the sandpit.

She said that she covered up the sandpit but then the cats sat on the sandpit cover. Cats are turtle. I don't know. I don't have a garden. I don't have any chickens. This question's really not for us. We don't know what it's like.

I just thought it was funny because it's just someone having a massive rant. Okay, here's maybe... How have they finished their Christmas shopping? Probably not. Is there a information later in the thread? Always cleaning up cat poo. Okay. Another one that might be more relevant to our interests.

As non-chicken owners. Yes. So this one, Am I being unreasonable to read the same copy of a book at the same time as my DH? Mysterious Sheep asks. As per Ticey. I'm reading a book second in a trilogy that my D.H. started reading first. He reads it in bed

at night and I read it at other times. He thinks this is outrageous and totally socially unacceptable. I don't see the problem. Am I being unreasonable? Yes. Yeah, massively so. This is nonsense. This is absolute nonsense. It's worse. It's worse because it's the second book in a trilogy. How does that make it worse? It makes it worse because, you know, He's just trying to get through it. I assume this is a long commitment. He's enjoyed the first book, now he wants to enjoy the second.

I'm sure she did as well, but, you know, he wants the freedom to take it with him. Like, what if you go travelling or just on a commute? But he's not, this is absolute nonsense. Because she's taking it at other times. Well, no, maybe she saw that it was just sitting there unloved. No, I think this is absolutely. How do they handle the bookmarks?

Oh, you'll like this. We both just fold. the corner. No, Vito. No? That's not how you treat a book. I know. I'm biased because of my extensive education in the library sciences,

but that's not how you treat a book. And that's... How do you know which corner is yours? I know it'll take only a second to figure it out, but still, what if you find spoilers? What if you read that Snape kills Dumbledore? I don't know. I mean, she'll be the one to find spoilers,

presumably she's behind him. And then maybe not. If he's only reading it before bed, and she's reading it at all other times. Absolutely. Just wait. Just wait a few weeks, and he'll be on book three, and you can read it at your own pace.

What does she do in the bed? Just lie there, staring at the ceiling. Lice they're trying to read over his shoulder. Oh, that looks like a good bit of the book. I don't know what she does. No. Maybe if I knew what book it was. Did they explain what book it was?

I don't know. I'm having a look. Second, like, trilogies tend to be science fiction and fenced in my experience. Well, actually, very. very early on after only a few replies she said that she'll modify her behaviour with regards to folding down the... Good. So maybe further on she'll agree to getting her own copy of the... Yeah, just wait, just wait. You don't need to be a two-book household, just wait. Well no, now she started reading it, I think to ask her to wait as silly. I don't. She said that

she waited a while before starting the first one because he takes longer to read, but then when she finished she was just really keen to start the next one. I can understand Well then he should wait. Well, it does sound like it takes him forever in a day to read a book. I don't know. She won't get too hard copies because that's silly, but doesn't like it. When does she read it? All the other times.

What are all the other times? I don't know. During the day, in the evening? It doesn't really elaborate on that. Maybe she should go to her local public library. Maybe. Perhaps it's only open four hours a week while she's busy at work. Maybe that's because of stringent library cuts forced by punishing austerity on local council. council. Oh yeah, I wasn't blaming the library, suggesting that that's the thing that happened.

This is what it comes to. Thanks to the Tories, we end up with people sharing books, like barbarians. What are you reading? Uh, it's a, it's a second book in a trilogy. What page are you are? I don't know, like 400 and something. I'm gonna start page one. Now what, don't, it's a library book. That's fine.

Don't fold the corners. That's fine. You haven't read the first book. Not a problem. It is, it's quite dense. Real dense science fiction by... Okay. author. But we read at the same time. Not always. Sometimes I just lie there staring at the ceiling.

Sometimes I just, well... I think she's been unreasoned. Yeah, I think that's probably fair. We got one more. Yeah. Am I being unreasonable to ask how you'd respond to your father-in-law making an unannounced speech at your wedding? Well, I mean, no. It's not unreasonable to ask on a forum called Are You Being Unreasonable? So, quick opinions. please, says as per the title. So there you are at your wedding breakfast, formal affair. It's speech time. You know the running order. You're all a bit nervous because you've been working on your speech. And then in the middle of it all, father in law stands up to make a speech. You aren't sure what's going on. He hasn't told you about this. Hasn't checked if it's okay

or run it past you. How do you feel about this? I mean, it doesn't seem unreasonable that the presumably father of the groom or the bride wants to do a speech yeah but to stand up before the speeches formally began like after but the very fact that this has never come up conversation

that suggests that the whole relationship's dysfunctional anyway well the person mentioned did they mention a rotor a running order a running order yeah they did so presumably the father-in-law isn't in the running order right otherwise it would be a question of the far of going out of order.

Yeah, but what I mean is, why is it, up until this point, no one has ever said, hey, do you want to do a speech? Or he has said, can I do a speech? Hey, your dad wants to do a speech. Is that cool? Like, it's not her dad, so, or he's dad, her dad, I'm guessing. Yeah, but they might have said it to the partner.

Yeah. I wonder what the speech was about. Yeah, a couple of people have said, you know, was it a nice speech? Like, I think they should have left the speech until after all the other speeches. And then said, accepted. I too have a speech.

Yeah, accepted and taken on the obvious social cues that they were not wanted. And then done it later. I don't understand. I don't. The content was fine. We hadn't asked him to give a speech because it's not traditional for fathers of the groom to give a speech. Isn't it? I wondered if I was being unreasonable to be a bit put out because he sprung it on us. This person comes across as very annoying just because she seems very fixated on what's traditional. Isn't it traditional?

In my experience, it's traditional for all. the men to give a speech while the women sit there. Yeah, that's what I thought the tradition was. And if it's a man, that's a fair game. Apparently, he said afterwards he knew that Father of the Groom didn't do a speech, but he wanted to. He didn't ask in case we said no. Which is ironic, because had he asked, we would have been happy for him to do so. That's not ironic.

Yeah. But it is easier to ask for forgiveness and permission. That's how I live my life. So someone said, why wasn't he, as Father of the Groom, asked if he wanted to make a speech? and someone else has said probably for the same reason they didn't ask the bride's maid

woman, the mother of the bride woman, the mother of the groom or the groom and bride's siblings but they wanted to make a speech it's not traditional and you can't ask everyone if anyone other than the father of the bride the best man and the groom wants to make a speech

that's fine and they should pipe up but how are the bride and groom supposed to know in advance what they want to do I don't know well just ask people and don't assume that tradition is the be all and end all presumably they're at the wedding table

Ask everyone at the wedding table If they want to go a speech This is nonsense This is nonsense They were being in a... Yeah, every... Oh, God's sake I'm glad that the father of the groom got up and spoke

I hope it was a nice speech Like not... It sounds like it was A rant A terrible rant A racist rant That would have better Then I guess you'd lead with that

Am I being unreasonable To not want my father And laugh to do a racist rant At my uh Just a final point on this Not traditional being the excuse trodied out by those who wish to exclude others hog all the attention for their own family.

Yeah. It's the 21st century in case you weren't aware. Woo! I bet you weren't a virgin when you're wed, so why the assumption that everything has to be traditional. Whoa. Hey, whoa. Yeah. With that that's quick opinions please, told. A bit of sex. Really? It's just pointing out, just pointing out

that there are traditions that people don't pay attention. I didn't say, I bet you aren't a virgin, which is terrible. You're a baddie. Should we do a couple more quickfire ones? Another round of quick fire. Another round of quick fire. Am I being unreasonable to ask about guitars?

Yes. Okay. Am I being unreasonable, sister-in-law, won't see my baby? No, see the baby. Am I being unreasonable, London? Yes. Am I being unreasonable, Lego? No.

Am I being unreasonable, Mary Poppins? No, what are these? Are I being unreasonable to remind people about copyright law? No, never. I do it all the time. Am I being unreasonable to say, I bloody love running? No, it's great.

Am I being unreasonable, calling all hairdressers? Yes. Yes, you are. Let's do one final quick fire round. From the next page here. Am I being unreasonable to hire a cleaner to prove a point to my DH? Yes. Am I being unreasonable to feel angry,

seeing pictures of my friend's new puppy on Facebook? Yes. Am I being unreasonable to think it's really hard to be a good teacher and a good mum? No. Am I being unreasonable? Poppy etiquette for Germans. No.

Am I being unreasonable to think, actually, you're up shit creek and you shouldn't be judging me? That's the best. The best. The best we're going to get. Really? No. No. Don't judge.

Especially not if you're up shit creek, pal. Don't judge her. Okay. Well, we've ended up on shit creek. Let's go. Thanks for joining us on Ship Creek. Don't judge us. Don't judge us.

This has been, you are being unreasonable? I have to go and start page one of some book. No. Goodbye. I have to go let the chickens into the neighbor's garden. Bye. I feel fantastic and I never felt as good as how I do right now except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day

when I felt the way that I do right now, right now, right now.