You Are Being Unreasonable - 024 - In which we volunteer to direct a children's production of Woke Grease

Episode Date: July 19, 2018

"Children aren't good at playing along with crimes..." Bonjour! Ça va? Oui, ça va bien, et tu? In this week's episode, we rush to A&E rather than pay £4 for two small bottles of water to take away, we vow - VOW! - that our children won't go through the trauma of having the same name as other children in their class, we scalp tickets for a children's production of Hamilton, and we come up with a new secret signal for Mumsnetters to identify one another.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when their prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now.

Hello! Hello! Jemapel Simon and... I'm called Alan. Welcome. I don't know anymore. Welcome to your being unreasonable. France just won the football, the men's only association football contest that's been going on.

Yeah, that's the thing that happened. So we're pretty French. I'm French. I'm French. Yes? No? It's all? It'sa.

So, it's all. Thank you. So, this is... So, this is You Are Being Unreasonable. Yeah, we're a podcast that's not dual language, but we go through Mum's Net Threads and we decide if the people on them are being reasonable or unreasonable. Let's begin with a speed round.

I'll just ask the questions as they're posed to the thread. We won't answer them properly. We won't look at what they're actually saying. We'll just make a snap judgment. We, Trebien. Am I being unreasonable to pretend I'm pregnant? Yes. Am I being unreasonable to pretend.

buy Dee Dee a dog for her birthday? No. But you know, make sure it's not one of those breeds that have trouble, like the little pugs. Just get a rescue. Yeah. Am I being unreasonable? Moved in yesterday, filthy house took everything raging. Really not sure what's going on there, so yeah, unreasonable. Am I being unreasonable not to buy a new sofa?

Uh, no. Ring the life out of the old one. Am I being unreasonable not to pay back my overpayment? back my overpaid wages? No, no. Fuck the management. And am I being unreasonable to ask for your McDonald's order? It depends on context. If I'm a McDonald's cashier, then no. But clearly this person isn't at work taking orders at McDonald's.

They're posting it on mums there. Are they being unreasonable? What if they are at work? They're working from home. Okay, let's do a proper thread. a thread. Am I being unreasonable to think this cafe owner is a cheeky fucker? Oh my. Now remember, cheeky fucker sounds like a term of endearment, but it's not. Cheeky fucker. It's the worst thing you can be on mum's net. Am I being unreasonable to think this cafe owner is a cheeky fucker to charge four pounds for two small bottles of water to take away? Not a swanky brand. Think plain Highland Spring in 500-millimeter plastic bottles with

screw caps, not even sports caps. Water had been in the fridge, but it was to take away, so he didn't even open the bottles, let alone provide use of glasses, ice, a table and chairs, loo, etc. It's just an ordinary cafe, not a Michelin Star restaurant. When I politely and quietly declined it, and asked my money back, he loudly called me very rude in front of other customers. Five minutes down the road, I was able to buy exactly the same for 60pence. This was out of the fridge too In a little rural village shop Where perhaps you'd expect to pay a few more pence

To help keep it going I wasn't rude But was the cafe owner otherwise right in his pricing Am I being unreasonable to think this is cheeky fuckery Profiteering against walkers and tourists In this scorching hot weather Name change as this is local to me Well

£4 for two small bottles of water does seem unreasonable It's a bit of a gouge But let's look at it from his perspective the cafe owners. Yeah. Maybe they bottled that water themselves. Maybe it's special water from a spring out back, or well, in the basement. It may well be, because she says,

Think Plain Highland Spring, which is an unbearable mum's netism, where you say think, and then a thing that's like what you mean, but not what you mean. So if we're thinking Highland Spring. Pespoke water. It might be. Rejuvenating water with, let's say, electrolytes. Maybe it's from a spring, huh? in the mountains and every week this cafe owner goes, hikes up into the mountains,

gets the water in a big backpack with a sack in it, brings it back down, bottles it because it's special water and his customers are very special to him. Two pounds for a bottle of water is a gouge, but she's saying, well I was getting it to take away so he didn't have to provide any of those things but his overheads are fixed. He is a cafe, not a corner shop and therefore will charge cafe prices. not corner shop prices. The whole point of free market capitalism is that people can charge whatever the market will bear.

Yeah. So unless this person once socialised, you know, bottled water. I mean, having to pay for water at all. It is nonsense. Oh, absolutely. It's awful. Yeah, completely. It's part of the capitalist hellscape we live in.

This person could have taken a refillable bottle with them. Yeah, better for the environment. So? Ban plastic straws, etc. Well, that's actually, there's a lot of abelism. up in that. That's another thing for another time. Maybe if we dispensed capitalism.

Well, we need to ban plastic stuff. Maybe, maybe. But, you know, also, why did he have her money if he hadn't yet finished his transaction? Did she just go in? Maybe she looked at the receipt. Slam a 50 down. And then she was like...

Give me your best water. Yeah. I mean, I think there's more to it. I think that she probably has gone in and been a little bit of a nightmare. I like, it's the sentence, it's just an ordinary cafe, not a Michelin Star restaurant. as if you'd go to a mission... But you wouldn't pop in to get water to take away

from a Michelin star restaurant, surely. No. That's just garbage. And then she says, oh, five minutes down the road, I bought exactly the same for 60p in a shop. Well, yes, because it's a shop. Yeah, it's a different pricing model, right? One rule for the shop, another for the cafe.

Shall we hear from the thread? I've looked up Highland Spring on Amazon.com. Go on. Where you can get six 1.5 litre bottles for 10. pounds. That's a bargain. We should order some. I just love a bargain. Yeah, I mean, we can get water out at the tap. Yeah, we can. That's true. Or, this one with a sports cap for $2.75. For six bottles. Again. So still better value than this place. Let's have a look at the thread. Maybe he's fed up with people buying water to take away and wasn't making any money out of it. That's true.

He has set up as a cafe with the relevant cafe overheads. And all he's doing is setting 60p bottles of water as people using them as a corner shop. No, no money. No money in that. No one shoved your arm up here back and propelled you into the cafe and forced you to purchase these goods. 60p in a rural shop.

You was robbed. I can get 12 for £1.87 in Liddle. See the price differential. Everyone exists to make a profit. That comments all over the place. I'm really not sure who signed them. I think they're saying... No one forced you to buy it

and also you were robbed at 60p. I think they're saying, Well, you know, everyone will just charge what they can get away with charging, so don't be so silly. That was my anti-capitalist statement. Yeah. Five minutes down the road, I was able to buy exactly the same for 60p. Someone said, you paid 30p a bottle. I would expect to pay the same price for takeaway and eating.

You do it, Starbucks for bottled water. Yeah, but Starbucks has an entirely different structure, because it's a big company. Yeah. Now people are having an argument about whether or not 500 millilie is a small bottle or not. I mean, yeah. Are we talking like a pandacola bottle? 500 milliliters is a standard bottle of water. But you can get a 330-mill one.

I mean, that's what I'm thinking of, 3.30-mill pandacola. Yeah. Yeah. But this is a bigger bottle than that. And now the entire thread is just descended into people arguing about what constitutes a small bottle of water. I don't think you can get... Can you get 3.30 mil? Of water? Oh, the OPs come back because people have asked...

Yeah, you can get 3.30 mil of water. So people have said, why don't you just take your own bottle and refill it? What about the planet? And then the O.P. has come back. I'm actually a fully paid up member of the recycling and refillable bottle brigade. And from long before it became commonplace and fashionable. On this occasion, it was a dash to A&D with the DCs, which has the refillable bottles being left at home.

I get the idea he won't be signing up to the free refill scheme. Wait a minute. Why did you have to dash to A&E via a cafe and a rural shop when you were out walking or possibly a tourist in your local area. I don't think this is true. So they went to A&E. Via a cafe. Well, maybe they were coming home.

Maybe. Maybe. It says it was a dash to A&D. Yeah. Why would you... I don't understand why you'd stop for water either way. Why would you stop for water on the way to A&E? It depends how far you have to walk to A&E.

And why wouldn't you just ask for water if you get to the hospital? I'm so confused. And all in all, I just got a weird feeling. This story isn't it even true? Yeah. The A&E thing has baffled me. Why would you make up a really convoluted lie

about going to A&E and buying some water? Maybe. Maybe they were so first after the cafe refused them water, or was too expensive, prohibitively expensive, that they got dehydrated and had to rush to A&E. No, but they'd already left the bottles at home because they were dashing to A&E. Because they were dashing out.

This is bad. It's just not true, is it? What a weird thing to lie about? I think they are being unreasonable because I think they've made up a really bizarre, convoluted story about water. I think they got challenged on not having a recyclable bottle and didn't want to say, I don't have one.

Or just, I left it at home. Yeah, no, they wanted to say it was because I was going to A&E, actually. How do you feel like that? I bet you feel bad, don't you? Yeah, actually I was late for the cinema because my dad died. Do you feel bad now?

Oh no. cinema drinks are really expensive what a way to compound a shitty day let's move on amma being unreasonable to change their name my dd is four years old and i gave her a name which i thought was very original as i hadn't heard another girl called it in about twenty years only to find when she started nursery another girl called the same but spelt differently dd is due to start full-time education in september and there'll be two other girls with the same name so three in the class including DD. Now there's another in the other DC's class. Totally hacked off and really upset by this. Maybe an overreaction but in the 1970s I was one of five named the same in my class and thou'd never to have my DCs live with the same. Now history is being repeated. Am I being unreasonable to change DD's name before September? I love her name but I hate that it's so common now. Wow. Yeah. Let's go through this a bit then So, four years ago she gave her kid a name which she hadn't heard for ages,

but she feels that now the name is coming back into fashion because of all these people in her kid's class who presumably are also four. It's not like she named her daughter and then all these hangers-on change their daughter's name to Sharon or Edith. Yeah, I mean, there'll be two other girls with the same name, so three in the class, including D-D. Yes. I mean, I was in a class growing up with two other Simons.

Really? Yeah. What did you do? Nothing. You didn't fight them to the death? No. Oh. One of them was bigger than me.

He was one of the boys who liked football. I'm not going to fight a boy who likes football. No. No, that's very sensible. No, you wouldn't stand a chance. Only one of them was bigger than you. Everyone was taller, but scrawnier. No.

Scronier than me. I was the only person in my year with my name, and I was very sad about that because I thought it meant that I had a boring name. But actually, I've got a name which I think might have some class connotations compared to the girls who all have the same names as each other. I won't say their names in case any listeners have those names or have given their children those names. Well, I think Helen's are quite common name, so I think that's quite unusual. Common as in a name that occurs a lot. Yeah. Yeah, whereas I think the names that people I went to

school with have were names that had class connotations. Oh, like working class common. Yes. I see. Yes. Yes. So it might well be that this is an unusual name, but it's a name with a clear class connotation and they're in an area where, you know, perhaps the name is Petunia and they live somewhere very posh. My favourite bit of this story is the implied bit where she's standing on a rooftop in the rain like Batman, vowing, vowing, and their dear children will have to live through the same trauma that she did. But now, single tier, history has been repeated. It is quite dramatic, isn't it? It's really dramatic. It's extremely dramatic. Oh, I don't what her name is.

I thought that it would never happen again. Also, by four, you know your name. You can't just change... It's not like when you get a rescue animal or if you decide upon the birth of a child that there's a name that you were going to use and then like two days later you're like, I've got to know this baby

and actually I'm not going to use that name. Yeah. It's no longer your place to change that name. The child knows their name. With human names, unless the human changes it of their own volition, you have about a week, maybe a month grace period

to sort out that baby's name to fix that baby's name and after that you can't change because the baby's going to start reacting to it exactly you can't give it a different name every week I went to school and in my primary school class there was a little girl who's she swore blind that her mum had made up her name

and that it was a unique name and there was no one else with that name please tell me the name was like I don't know Sally well I don't want to say the name but we all made a little bit fun of her for this because we didn't believe her. Like, you know, it's just, oh, my dad died so I couldn't come to the cinema or, you know, my uncle works for Nintendo and he told me, Crash Bandicoot's going to be on the N-64. Yeah. That kind of thing. But, in her defence

years later, I've never heard the name ever, so I think, I think she was telling the truth all this time. Oh, maybe this woman should have just strung some letters together and hoped for the best. Rather than recycling an old name. It was a nice name. I'll tell you off Mike, But it's a good one. So yeah, you can make up a name and make it unique. Yeah, but that's not what this one's done, and now the moment has passed. Don't get one that you heard 20 years ago, because that's obviously not unique. Yeah, and other people will have had the same thought.

To still be hung up on the fact that you were one of five people with the same name when you were at school, and you vowed for this never to happen again, and yet history repeats itself. Far too dramatic. Oh, the O.P.'s come back. D.D.'s name is Esme, and I've lived through. this. I can remember my whole junior secondary school time being coloured by the fact that so many of us had the same name. I changed it as soon as I could for that very reason. Every time I hear my real name, I shudder. Crumbs. It's just every time I hear my real name, I shudder.

No one paid attention to me until I started wearing the mask. You adopted having the same name as everyone else. I was. was born in it. Apparently there's a character called Esme in Twilight and Twilight came out, what, the books came out ten years ago. Oh man, that's going to make it pretty fashionable. Yeah, so you messed up. You messed up badly.

Yeah, Esme Cullen is what the Twilight Wiki is saying. Is Esme the scary vampire baby? No. Not based on this picture. Esme was born in 1895. This isn't vampire nonsense. and became a vampire at age 26. Okay.

Well, basically, this is terrible. This would be like if I decided that I was going to have a kid and I wanted them to have a name that no one else was going to have and I picked a really unusual name like Katniss. Oh, no, I wonder why other people have this name. It's weird, unusual. I do hope the O.P. doesn't let on to her daughter how much she thinks that having the same name as someone else

is the biggest burden going. Well, yeah, because kids can be pretty pretty, resilient. I'm sure that Esme will just be like, Hi, I'm Esme. And I'm like, oh, hi, I'm Esme too. And they'll be like, oh, okay. And then they'll just be Esme and the initial from their name. Yeah, it's fun. So I have the same names. Someone says, oh well, you know, why don't you change the name? How about Beryl? Did you do any research on names before? Esme's quite popular and far from original. Oh dear. I just, yeah. Am I being unreasonable to photocopy school tickets that say

strictly admitted to school have made it very clear to us that only two parents with valid tickets can attend the end-of-year play I'm going my ex and bracket's dad is going he's single so just him but my partner is so actively involved in our son's life and he's such a loving stepdad he really wants to be there too the tickets are just on coloured paper I'm tempted to get some and photocopy an extra one am I being unreasonable fair play if I am but if I can get away with it, it would be lovely for the DS, probably being a bit precious first-born, crying face. Am I being unreasonable to ticket scalp for an end-of-year play?

Yes. Yeah, yeah, this is nonsense. How can they possibly think that... This is ticket-scalping? I'm sure that the school will have situations like this. She doesn't mention that she's contacted the school, but it might be worth contacting the school and saying, do you have any spare tickets? Here's the situation, and either they'll say, yeah, we do, problem solved, or they'll say, no, because...

because this is the capacity of the hall and for fire regulations this is as many people as we can have or no this is the capacity of the hall and we don't want anyone standing or no whatever they'll explain why or they'll say yeah it's okay we found you up

another ticket and also won't it be obvious if you know children aren't good at playing along with crimes yeah yeah children aren't good at playing along with crimes they're not they'll out you they'll dob you in The kid will be like, oh look, I've got three people here

And then all the other parents will realise And they'll have to start their own thread Saying, I'm being unreasonable to think this woman was a cheeky fucker And then the kid will be shunned And it's all just unnecessary Tickets, get your tickets here I got Hamilton 42nd Street The St Mary's End of Year Play

All the good uns, get them here Let's hear from the thread You are being very, very, very unreasonable I hate people like you. Your circumstances are not special compared to the families of other students. Lots of students have active step-parents, grandparents, siblings, etc.

And they all got two tickets. We limit tickets due to fire codes and space. Everyone has to stick to the same rules. Our school of extra tickets are available due to children handing back any unneeded tickets. Fair play, that is basically what I said, but I wouldn't say I hate people like you.

I hate you. The fact that she's saying, said precious firstborn. I assume it's her kid's first ever end of year play. She probably doesn't comprehend what a logistical nightmare it can be for space for these sorts of things. Yeah, it was a very bad idea and a crime. Yeah, a criminal crime. Robbing the school of their valued income. She doesn't mention a cost associated with these tickets at all. Oh, this is bad ticket scalping. Yeah. Giving away free tickets is not ticket scalping. That's just charity. But still, there is a degree of...

If I could photocopy a ticket up to Hamilton, I would do it. The difference is the power differentials between the Victoria Theatre and a small community school. Well, quite. Also, the quality of production, I imagine there'd be more interest in Hamilton because it has lots of brave reviews than the St Mary's end-of-year play,

which no doubt is going to be a shit show of crying children. I haven't read the reviews of the St. Mary's End of School play. But unless it's got, you know, stirring scenes of the historical figures wrapping. It's unlikely, isn't it? What if the end of year play is Hamilton? That would be amazing. What if it's kids doing Hamilton? Like they do in the Big Pack Quiz of the Year?

Yeah, tiny Aaron Burr and tiny Alexander Hamilton. Oh, well, that sounds adorable. Okay, if she can photocopy me a ticket, I've changed my mind. Yeah, tiny little... I want to see the five-year-olds doing Hamilton, and I will take an illegal to... ticket for that? Yes. And basically everyone on the thread says that this person's being unreasonable.

I think they're being unreasonable too. Imagine a little Lafayette. Oh, in his little coat, in his tiny velvet coat. Aw. I do wonder why the school don't just make a list. Rather than hang out these tickets, why don't they just have a list of like the kid's name and then they can just tally off two people have come for this kid? Yeah, the first two who get there.

Maybe that's why, maybe because in situations like this, if this had been an acrimonious split, Yeah, it's a kind of man-macked Fury Road situation to get to the school on time for the play. Loads of divorced parents who hate each other. Oh, again, children doing Hamilton, this all sounds much more exciting than what's actually happening in the post, which is just, I want everyone to see my kid in a play, but not everyone can come, and that makes me sad, which is a shame, but, you know, the kid won't remember the play years from now anyway. I remember the play I was in. When you were in reception? No.

Was it when you... I was in year six? Was it when you did a play version of Friends and you played Gunther? No. I was embarrassingly old. That wasn't in primary school. When I was in primary school, all the cool kids did a production of Greece and I wasn't allowed to be in it because I wasn't a cool kid.

Yeah, but then... Seems legit. Because it was primary school, they had to cut so much of it because it was age inappropriate that it didn't make any sense at all. Well, yeah, there's that song in Greece about making the lady's cream. There's a song in Greece. Greece saying, well, there's worse things I could do than have sex. Like, oh, you all act like you're so holier than now, but you do lots of dodgy stuff too, and I just bone around.

Yeah. There's that song about, uh, did she put up a fight? I hope not. No, I would have stopped. His consent is important. I wasn't allowed to be in the production of Greece because I wasn't cool enough. If it wasn't Hamilton that these kids were doing, I would like them to do woke Greece, a woke version of Greece. I would direct that. If anyone had any primary school classes out there and they're at a loss with what to do with them. I would like to direct a youth theatre age five to seven, like infant school. Yeah. Woke Greece.

Yeah. I think that would be very good. And everyone can have as many tickets as they like and we'll just keep cramming people into the auditorium. I don't think that's safe. Fine. We'll just have two spaces per child and we'll do the Fury Road type thing. Okay. Anyway, I think this woman's being unreasonable.

What do you think? Ticket scalping is wrong, even for Tiny Hamilton. Okay. We have one more thread to do. Am I being unreasonable to say we need a new Mumsnet secret code slash item to use in real life? Goodness. I joined Mumsnet in 2013 whilst Duffers with DS1.

There was a lot of talk about a Mumsnet scarf that you could tell if someone was a Mumsnet it if they were wearing one. Sort of leopard print may be blue. I asked one friendly looking mum at Baby Group once, if her scarf was a mumsnet scarf and she looked confused and margly offended. Yay, go me. Other than that, I never saw one.

And actually, it might have been a wind-up or an in-joke I didn't get because I was new and stupid. But we should have a thing, a subtle way of slyly signaling that we are mumsnetters, right? What could it be? Wow, this is some deep stuff.

This is super weird, right? Yeah, I mean, we're pretty deep into the mumsnet sort of ethnography at the moment. Yeah. We're pretty deep in the community, like Jane Goodall among the chimps. Yes. But I've never heard of a Mumsnet secret code or secret society meetings.

People on Mumsnet are often saying oh, I wonder if this person's a Mumsnet or all. But I don't understand when they don't just say, oh, I saw this thing on Mumsnet, you know, in a really throwaway fashion. And see if the other person mentions it, I don't know why you'd need a scarf. I guess it's the difference between being a Mumsnetter and looking at things on mum's net. Would you describe yourself as a mum's netter?

No. But you do look at things on mum's net. Yes, I suppose so. I have got friends who do the same thing. I don't think they'd describe themselves as mum's netters. Well, essentially, because that's synonymous with turf nowadays. Well, exactly. I was going to say, if they're looking for a secret item or a code,

then anyone who expresses support for those bitches who ruined pride in London, I always think, yeah, probably a mum's netter. But you do need something. Like that podcast that won the listener's choice award instead of us. Yes. Has hello to Jason Isaacs. Yeah. You say that's someone and they know you listen to that podcast.

Yeah. Or maybe like in the Hunger Games, you know, there's a little Mockingjay pins and that's how you know that someone's part of the resistance. Pins, yeah. Maybe you could get a pin that's just like a, I don't know, a rudimentary picture of a vulva. That's how you know that someone is a mum's netter. Maybe some kind of hand gesture, like make a... making an M with your hands.

Like a gang sign? Yeah. Yeah, maybe. I'm making an M with my hands. I mean, if they're looking for a secret code, that seems quite in your face. How about just pointing to your note, like mum's the word, I'm just tapping my nose.

Maybe, but then that's the gesture that people do. Anyway. How about working the words mums and net into a sentence? Maybe. Oh, I was just looking at other mums on the net. That's got a good sentence. That sounds like you've just been there, looking up milts.

You have to be even more subtle. I don't like it. You have to be even more subtle than that. But this is why I'm not a spy. I don't understand why Mumsnetters need a spy code. I really don't. Do I identify other Mumsnettors? But why would, I just, I don't get it.

Why is it a big secret? And why do you need to identify other Mumsnettors? If you want it to be a secret, you don't need to identify the Mums Netters. Like, I enjoy D&D. Sure. But I don't want to. accidentally say to a jock I really love d and d because they might beat me up they might call me a nerd

yeah is that what happens yeah at work where you're an adult yeah jocks i mean the captain of the football team gonna beat me up if i accidentally out myself as a d and d player okay so having a so i need a signal right like um gesturing that i'm rolling 20 yeah so for those of you listening what simon's doing is the wanker gesture. I'm rolling a die. Yeah, you could do that gesture at the captain of the football team and you would get beaten up. Because he knows I'm a D&D player. Because he thinks you're calling him a wanker. Okay. I don't, I really don't understand. Surely a blue leopard print scarf is very specific. How would you come about one of those? Did someone say, oh, this is a very specific scarf? And because it's so noticeable, it can be the mum's net scarf. But then how

did everyone who wanted one, get one? Don't they do, like, Mumsnet merchandise? Don't Mumsnet towers? Oh, I don't know. Not that I was aware of. Sell that. Oh, what, like, how Nando, not Nando, sorry, Mawley's sell the boss man polo. Yeah. We were looking at the Mawley's shop the other day.

The chicken shop in South London. And you can get proper Mawley's T-shirts, saying how much you love Mawley's chicken. And you can get the staff uniform that you can wear. Maybe that could be the Momsnet signal. the Morley's boss man polo? Yeah, no. If you see someone wearing that, you know they're a Mumsnetter.

We're not ruining the Mawley's boss man polo. Fine. That's for either Mawley's employees or big fans of Mawley's. Yeah, okay, that's fair. How about if Mumsnet did a Mumsnet boss man polo that looked like the Mawley's one, but actually up close,

have Mumsnet, not Mawle's. Okay, that's okay. Okay, well, that's the start. Momsnet has its problems, but it's less likely to give you the shits than Marley's. Well, yes. So apparently there's another code, which is a supermarket divider, where you put the divider lengthways on the belt

and then look all innocent at the next person. See, just further proof that mum's letters are terrible, terrible people. Don't put the divider lengthways. Yeah, that's taking up a lot of conveyor. Oh, no. And then someone else has said, buying Zaflora. Buying Zaflora. Zoflora?

Is that like flora, but with a French accent? It's a cleaning product for a... I think it's a toilet cleaning product? Vain ze flora. Wain ze flora. Who is the flora, if you play? Wasn't it supposed to be a copy of a well-known fashion house scarf? What's my mum's nest are all swaggering around in knock-off designer goods?

That seems completely out of keeping with the way that mumsnesses like to portray themselves as being like, Oh, I weave all my own clothes using pubs that I've cleaned up from the bathroom and then I bleached all of the surfaces and I haven't bought new things for myself since 1971. Based on what we've learned today, I think you identify a mum's letter by A, they're making a stink in a cafe about the price of water. Yes. B, they're calling their little girl a different name than they did a week before. yeah see they're busy photocopying tickets for tiny Hamilton

yeah the production of Hamilton that the school's putting on or D they sympathised with those turfs at pride yeah and they're putting dividers lengthways on supermarket conveyor belts and any of these things are things that you would identify and think I don't want to interact further with that person yeah they're red flags no thank you I'm gonna buy my water at a different cafe yeah so all in all we need a signal so that we need a signal so that we know who not to spend time with, but mum's netter's very way of existing is that signal.

Is that signal? That's pretty meta. Yeah, you can't not portray yourself as a mum's netter if you are one. Wow, should we do one more speed round? Yeah. Am I being unreasonable to be so worried about creepy uncle that I'm scared to separate from DP? Geez, no, that sounds awful. Yeah, it does.

Am I being unreasonable to wonder why people buy expensive toilet paper? Uh, yeah, isn't it self-explanatory? It goes on your bum. Yeah. Am I being unreasonable? Water bath? It depends where you do it. Am I being unreasonable not to have a clue what these symbols mean?

Grill oven. Oh, now. Gill ovens are in some kind of hieroglyphics that no one understands. Oh. Every grill's different and it's a nightmare to figure out what the difference seems. Never mind. Awful business. Am I being unreasonable to wonder what people mean when they say,

oh, I wish they just get on. with Brexit. Yes. It's obvious that Brexit means Brexit. Obviously. We've been told this 100 times. And we'll do one more. Am I being unreasonable?

To point out Ireland is a separate country. No, it is. It is. Does bear pointing out on mum's net, though. People do not get it. Yeah, it's a different country. All different set of counties. We've only got the six.

Yeah, and we shouldn't really have those. But that's another story for another time. That's another story for another time. Well... Good night, children. Good night. Thanks for listening. We'll be back in another two weeks.

Send us any, Am I Being, Unreasonable Threads that you might find. And, yeah, we'll see you then. Yeah. Bye. Bye.