You Are Being Unreasonable - 025 - In which Jesus opens a distillery

Episode Date: August 2, 2018

"You can't spell 'manslaughter' without 'laughter'." Back at it again on Mumsnet. We encounter cheeky coffee drinkers, greeting cards for people who have left work following 'incidents', glockenspiel murderers, dogs who have eaten earphone cables 'Lady and the Tramp'-style, smelly Jesus, and accidental children.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when their prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now.

Hello. Hello. Back on another episode of You Are Being Unreasonable, a podcast about people being unreasonable on the internet. On mumsnet.com specifically. Yep. Going to be looking into Mumsnet again. Back on the Am I Being Unreasonable boards.

Back at it again on Mumsnet. Now that we've gone fortnightly, I don't find the boards quite so stressful, but they are still just a den of terrible humans, really. At least we're not posting. That's very true. Imagine if we were posting on here. Oh no

If there are any listeners who do post on there I mean sorry Didn't mean to hurt your feelings But also stop listening Because it's not for you No It's not aimed at the Momsnet Massive No

No it's named at the opposite of the Mumsnet massive Yeah whatever that would be Do a Venn diagram Of people on Mumsnet And people who should listen to this podcast And they don't even touch They don't Not at all

Different pieces of paper That's probably why we get so few Listener suggestions Let's do the speed round Am I being unreasonable to ask which is the most neutral term? Dinner, supper or tea? Dinner. But are they being unreasonable to ask?

No. Dinner. Am I being unreasonable to be worried about the normalisation of far-right politics? No. There's a whole lot in there. No. Wow. Am I being unreasonable to ask if anyone is considering stockpiling? No. No. Brexit and the food choices is an ongoing concern. Is mum's net good now? Stockpiling is actually a horrible thing to do

because it'll create shortages, supply and demand means that will push the prices up, people who live hand to mouth who are the ones who will most be in need of tinned fish. Oh no. Won't have access to it. Well, why if you need insulin? Well, I don't know how easy it's ever going to be

to stockpile medicines. Am I being unreasonable to not reply to this letter? Uh, no. It's fine. No one writes letters anymore. And am I being unreasonable to think a lot of people are jealous of teachers' holidays but...

Oh, it was fine up until the but. It's like an I'm not racist, but. Yeah, and we're not going to open it to find out. Yeah, no. Don't be jealous of teachers' holidays. They work very hard when they're not on holiday. And when they are on holiday, like preparing for the new term.

We've treaded this ground before. Yeah, we'll do one more speed round one. Am I being unreasonable to take DS to the GP for eating headphone cables? Uh, no, no. Run, don't walk. How does it come to this? Don't take the time to post some mum's up.

Sounds like you ate the whole cable, not just nibbled on a bit. It sounds like he really devoured it. If that were a dog that had done that, I would say just wait. What if it were two dogs? They did Lady and the Tramp style. So one's got the earbud end and one's got the jack end. That's not going to come out naturally. No.

Let's do a full thread. Am I being unreasonable? Non-Mushy card. I need to leave work. Any recommendations for company that do non-mushy but funny farewell cards in the UK? I'm leaving work under a bit of a cloud, which will make it difficult to keep up with the many friends I've met there. I want to let them all know how much I appreciate their friendship and support,

but not in a mushy or overly sentimental way, sad face. We need more details on the cloud. On the surface, this is a very simple request for recommendations. But you scratch the surface even slightly, and it's baffling. Yeah, so let's quickly think of what cards would be appropriate for this person. I'm sorry I was accused of harassment in the workplace, but I appreciate you all.

Yeah. That's a standard card template. That is a good one. Sorry about embezzling the funds. Yeah. It might be something much more prosaic than that. It might be like, oh, I'm really sorry that I emailed all those people who hadn't opted in.

Yeah. Again, these are standard card templates that you really can't find any Clinton's cards. Does Clinton's cards still exist? Maybe that's the problem. You can get them at Clinton's cards. I think I'm thinking of cards galore. But the demise of the High Street

means that that's not the easy proposition it once was. Yeah, so in my banking practices led to the demise of the High Street. Yeah. Another standard card template. Sorry for what I did in the fridge. Oh no. Oh no.

But that's the first thing. We'd like to know what the cloud is, of course. But when you leave a job, it's not standard practice for you, to give a card communally to all your colleagues? Like, they get a card for the person who's leaving and then the person who's leaving receives a card and perhaps if they get a present they might send a thank you card

after they've left or something, I don't know. I can imagine that scenario, but you don't, on your last day, hand over a card that says, sorry about the incident. You do it if they've all taken out restraining orders against you. Yeah, why will it be difficult to keep up with the many friends that they've made there? Because of the incident.

I framed all my novelty card suggestions as sorry for, but maybe they're not sorry for. Maybe it's just... Maybe they had the chance to apologise and they didn't, and that's why there's a cloud. Yeah. Maybe it's like... I still agree with what I did to your pension funds. Buy, that's the card template. I really do think you're a fat bitch, Janine.

I stand by what I said. Yeah, Janine. You know, I still appreciate your friendship and support, Janine. but I think you're a fat bitch. I'm not taking that back. Yeah. It's true. That would explain why it doesn't want to be overly sentimental.

Do you think this poster wants to get into the insannounce of what's happened, but they were too embarrassed? Oh, because I wondered if it was a bit like, oh, I kind of want to bring this up, but I know that Moms Net will tear me to shred, so maybe if I say something a bit vague and sinister, and then they'll eke it out of me, the classic Mumsnet drip feed. I don't know.

Also, the first suggestion, in response to this post is Search Funny Leaving Cards on eBay There are some really good ones They've missed the subtext They totally have And eBay is a really weird place to buy a card Yeah, that's not a right place to buy a card

Not on the high street, sure Etsy, sure Moon Pig, definitely Funkypitchin.com if you can forgive them for their annoying advertising I have a good card Go on Let's turn my corporate manslaughter

into corporate laughter You can't spell manslaughter without laughter It's better Yeah It was teamwork though Now lots of people are just saying scribbler No stop making suggestions No one seems to erase that it's super weird

That she's leaving under a cloud And is giving a leaving card to her old workmates When she's the one leaving Someone in fact says I think it's a nice touch Oh okay someone has said it The person leaving doesn't normally give leaving card, your colleagues do the leaving card and if they give you a present too, send a thank

you note after you've left, which is what I said. To keep in touch with individuals, collect their personal email addresses. I assume they've been told not to do that. I'm sure they know how you would keep in touch with an individual theoretically, but for some reason due to the incident, they're not allowed. Because of the incident,

because of the cloud, because of what happened. And then someone said, hmm, I always thought you'd be the one receiving the card and you send the mushy or otherwise group email just before you go. The best ever leaving email I read just said, avenge me. I dare you to do that. No, if you've left under a cloud, don't send an email that says avenge me.

You might not go down well. If you've worked somewhere for 20 years and you're great mates with everyone and everyone loves you and it's a real like, oh, it's been brilliant but it's just time to move on. Send avenge me, sure. Yeah, funny. Leaving under a cloud. Yeah, if you're leaving because of what you did in the staff kitchen. Only one person seems to have picked up that this is super weird and it never gets addressed other than that. and it's just loads of people saying,

where don't you go to Scribler? Baffling. So I might go to Scribler during the way you can have a look at the cards in there to see if they've got lots that seem appropriate for someone who's leaving their job under a cloud. Yeah, it's a simple, sorry I'm leaving under a cloud and can't talk to you all.

Yeah. I've got you this non-mushy card with a picture of, I don't know, a dolphin on it. A dolphin's not too mushy. It's not like a kitten, a puppy. Really weird, though. A dolphin's just neutral. A dolphin's quite a hippie thing.

I imagine dolphins being the sort of thing that you would see in a shop that also sells bongs and floaty dresses. Yeah, so not overly sentimental. No, maybe the Ope should go to a bong shop to get a card. Maybe that's why she has to leave. Oh. He's had the bong out on the desk. I'm sorry I came in high every day. I'm sorry I got high at 1620 every day.

Way! Let's do another thread. Am I being unreasonable, smelly people? We have new people in our church And they absolutely stink to high heavens Excuse the pun While I really wouldn't want to discourage them from coming Am I being unreasonable to think that the pastor's wife

Should take them aside for a quiet word That's the whole thread But I just, I love it for various reasons Who cares that it's the church You could just say some smelly people Is it ever okay to tell someone they smell No, but you've made sure we know That you go to church and you're big in the church community

you've made a pun and you said excuse the pun but you've got the backspace key so you know you're clearly meant to make the pun don't do this false modesty about your pun you're proud of the pun um it should be proud it's all right why does the pastor's wife have to do it pastor can't do it why can't she do it why does anyone have to do it I don't understand the ins and outs of churches but this one fascinated me yeah the pastor's wife would have to do it the pastor can't do it but why does it have to be the pastor's wife why can't it just be a member of the congregation? It concerns the church as a whole

as a community, so it should be the leaders of that community, but not the spiritual leader, the day-to-day leader, the sought shit-out leader, the pastor's wife. Oh, well, that's explained a lot. Is this how it works in churches? If someone turns up stinky,

then there's an obvious chain of command as to whose job that is? Yeah, I mean, it depends on the size of the church, but, yeah, The pastor's focused on spiritual matters. The pastor's wife is more down to earth and can have the chat with distinct people. I have a question.

Yeah. Do you... Jesus himself... Yeah. Could not have smelled like a bed of roses. But surely no one would have... Yeah. ...been that fragrant.

Yeah. So by the standards of the time, perhaps he smelled neutral. But I think if he came back in the same form as he was then... He would be stinky. He'd be a very stinky man. Are you saying these people were Jesus?

Jesus, Jesus is back, he's turned up to a church, and now the pastor's wife is going to have a go. Oh, wow, there's so much going on in this. I just thought it was a bit confusing. I'm sorry, Jesus, is it? Am I pronouncing that right? We've had some complaints about your decorum in the church. Decorum? I'm not sure I understand what you mean.

Well, Jesus, am I pronouncing that right? You smell. Do you have a shower at home? You can use our shower. But I've got a woman who sometimes cleans my feet with her hair. It's not enough. You've got a very clean feet. Obviously, it's sparkling.

You can see him through the sandals. But it's everything else. Hair's quite matted. Let's have a little look at what the thread says. Why the pastor's wife especially? Why can't the pastor do it? Or a concerned member of the church? Or, you know, you?

Someone said, get one of the elders to do it. Yeah, that's what I was saying. One of the church elders. one of the leaders of the church. Do churches still have elders? Yeah. Like officially? Yeah.

Really? I'm only speaking for the church I grew up in. They had official elders? Yeah. Wow! I've learned a lot today. That's an elder. Oh, maybe he could tell this person they stink.

No, because he's the minister. Mum would have to do it. Someone said maybe they own a whiskey distillery. Those places stink. Very specific. Very, very specific. If they own a whiskey distillery, I'd make friends with them. Well, next time I...

What if they own a whiskey... What if they... own a whiskey distillery, but people only ever see water go in, and yet whiskey comes out. It is Jesus, and he's making whiskey this time. He's seen the state of things, he thought, we're going to need a stiff drink now. Someone said, we have very pungent people in our church, they live in a hostel, life is difficult for the moment I don't dream of saying anything. Yeah, I mean, the church should be welcoming for everyone, right?

And then there's a lot of people commenting on. Even the very stinking. Yeah, a lot of people saying how hard. it is for people who are struggling financially. Yeah. And that maybe this woman should show a bit more compassion. I mean, it wasn't the most fascinating of threads for other people, but I was really interested in the idea that the pastor's wife has to say to someone that somebody else thinks they smell.

I think this makes sense. But does the pastor's wife even agree? Like, can I just have an opinion, a negative opinion about someone? They get the pastor's wife to deliver that. I'm like, oh, Gary's a right twat. Can you go and tell him? Because, you know, you're married to the pastor. Yeah.

There's also the stereotype of the pastor's wife as gossipy and, you know, willing to gather all the information on people and spit it about. Like, what's the name in The Simpsons? Riven Lovejoy's wife. Oh, yeah, yeah. I quite like the idea of joining a community where it's someone's defined wrong within that community to pass on bitchy things that you think about people. Yeah, the village gossip.

Yeah, well, good, maybe I'll get involved with this church and then I'll say that I think that the OP is kind of a bitch. Then the pastor's wife can tell her. We had a lot of hot weather recently, and I think everyone's been quite smelly. Yeah. With the heat wave. Yeah, it's definitely not been the best time for people to meet you at your least sweaty. No, certainly everyone in London stinks.

Oh, wow. It's been very hot. It has. Again on the tube has been like walking into a mist of sweat. Ew. Let's move on. Am I being unreasonable? Anyone for a cup of tea?

Okay, so after having people around for dinner, I generally ask if anyone would like a cup of tea. of tea. This is often met with, oh yes, I'd love a coffee, thanks. Why? If I asked you if you would like tea, you cheeky fucker. I'm rubbish at making coffee. It is mysterious and scary to me. Then roll in the demands of how they precisely want their coffee. None of that instant stuff will do. Am I being unreasonable? Right. We're into something very specific here that I've disagreed with people on in the past. Yeah. specifically my brother I think me and my brother have talked about this

go on where I mean we're from the north so we'd say does anyone want to brew and it's my contention that when someone says does anyone want a brew that refers to tea or coffee right because both are brewed yeah both go through the brewing process okay by that reasoning I could say I would like an IPA please but it's my brother's contention it was at the time that when you say do you want a brew that refers specifically to tea and I think the same applies here I think if you say to someone

would you like a cup of tea the word tea there stands in for hot drink you say that now we've been together for what five and a half years would you have said that five years ago because I definitely used to say

do you want a cup of tea before you drank tea and you'd say no I don't drink tea and I'd say yeah I know I was going to make you a coffee and you'd just roll your eyes yeah it's just being awkward it's been playful and flirtatious

oh okay Anyway Obviously I agree that if someone says tea You can interpret that to mean one of the standard hot drinks You can't say, oh yeah It means like a tea service Yeah So like a hot drink, coffee or tea

Yeah It's my interpretation I don't care if my brother disagrees Do you think your brother posted this? No I can't imagine your brother describing someone as a cheeky fucker Because they ask for a coffee That seems quite a strong reaction

Yeah, he's a talented man and I don't think coffee would be mysterious and scary to him. Yeah. It's not mysterious, though. Them beans. Them beans, though. It's almost serious. I don't know.

You can't grind them beans. How's the flavour come out? I mean, sure. If for some reason the O.P. has just got loads of coffee beans and no grinding equipment and no ground coffee and no instant coffee, I can see how this is an awkward request. In what circumstances, then, can you ask, would anyone like a cup of tea? and they know but you only mean tea

are you holding tea bags what if you're at a tea ceremony like a Japanese tea ceremony the kind that takes hours yes if at the end of that you wanted a coffee then definitely you are being maybe not a cheeky fucker

but a little bit silly yeah if you sat and watched the server prepare this tea for literal hours and you say make mine a black coffee yeah in that circumstance the server would then be entitled to interpret black coffee to be whatever you call any hot drink oh i'm sure they don't mean coffee that's probably what they call all the hot drinks

yeah i think this person's being wildly unreasonable not least for having such a strong reaction to it and also they could just say oh sorry i don't have any coffee i only have the instant stuff and people will say no because no one's the instant stuff well they'll say yeah and they'll be a right master about it Is that all you've got? Aww. Oh, can I have a look and see which one it is? I've worked with people who, upon hearing that there's only instant coffee available, I've said, oh, can I just come out and have a look?

Like, well, at this point, just make your own drink. Mmm. Can I have a French press? Yeah, at that point, definitely the guests are unreasonable, but just saying, I haven't got any coffee, sorry. Don't like let it build up inside you, eating away until you're furious on mum's net about something that could have been avoided. furious at these cheeky fuckers.

And also just learn how to make coffee. Because going through your whole life, afraid of coffee, sounds very stressful. I can see your response from someone where they've said, basically, just say, Anyone for tea, I'm afraid I don't have coffee. There we go. That's exactly what I was just saying. That's what I was suggesting, right? Just head it off.

Make it clear that you mean tea, the drink. Yeah. You're being unreasonable. It's not like they're demanding a rare vintage brandy, offering both tea and coffee regardless of your preferences, It's just good hosting. Then she goes on to explain how to make coffee. Well, I think we can take that as read. I'll go on WikiHau. That always has good instructions.

I mean, generally people are in agreement that this is ridiculous and unreasonable. Yeah, I think if they're right, if you're asked for whiskey when someone says, do you want tea? Yeah. You want reasonable. Unless you're at Jesus's house. Yeah. If you can just magic it up. Exactly.

But, yeah. Someone said you're being unreasonable for offering tea after dinner. What? Why? I don't know. I don't know. Now the O.P.'s come back and said, yeah, I know I'm being unreasonable, but it's the devil's brew. Maybe you could explain that to your brother. We've established that Jesus loves whiskey and the devil loves coffee. What about an Irish coffee? Yeah, that's tough, isn't it?

Pergatory coffee. Pergatory coffee. Yeah. That's what that is. All in all, this person's clearly being unreasonable. They're being unreasonable, and they're being a big. Baby, coffee's not frightening. Don't be scared of coffee.

When I make you, I didn't know how to make tea. So I learned for you. I think making coffee is easier than making tea on balance. People get quite picky with tea. Like, do you want the bag in or do you want the bag out? How much milk do you want? Do you want sugar? Yeah.

Coffee's easier in that. A black coffee, obviously you don't have to add milk. Yeah. You just put it in the fresh press and boom, done. Yeah. Maybe a sugar. But yeah, quite easy. Also, if you make it in French press, just bring the whole thing through and bring a little jug of milk.

This is it. Coffee has specific terms for what you want, so you can express yourself in a single word. Yeah. Latte. Okay. If she's saying, say, we want a cup of tea and someone says, I want a latte, then they are being unreasonable. Sort of off the point, but coffee is more specific in that you have these words. Yeah.

Machiato. Yeah. You know what you mean? Espresso. Whereas tea is just tea. And the word tea doesn't denote whether you want a herbal tea, a fruit tea, a regular tea, a tea with milk. And I like my tea, both strong and milky. Yeah, you like the bag kept in.

And as a rule, while the milk's there. When I say milky, I mean non-dairy milk. And if you've only got almond milk, then I'll take dairy probably, but I might have it black. Soy is fine, oat is fine. With coffee, to be honest, chuck whatever you want in there. I really couldn't care less. Yeah, I think tea is more complicated, but maybe that's just because I'm a fuss pot about tea. Well, there are tea ceremonies and there's not coffee ceremonies.

That's true. So, yeah, is this person being unreasonable? Yes. Are the people asking for coffee being unreasonable? No. Good, let's move on. One more. And when you ask for if anyone would like a brew, that includes tea or coffee. If you say to a contractor, for example, that's probably the only time I'd ask if anyone wants a brew.

What sort of contractor? Anyone doing work in my house Okay Like a workman Any workman in my house Because when you say a contractor I'm imagining like the people who come in And check if your GDPR ready

Not like a military contractor I mean like a workman Okay Someone who comes to my house and does stuff I will always ask them Do you want a brew? Very good Brew means hot drink

Okay last thread Am I being unreasonable To one day tell D.D. She was a mistake Okay obviously not in those words words. I have four DC, but it was my choice to have three. Number four was a contraception failure and I was completely unaware I was pregnant until nearly halfway through the pregnancy. Our six-month-old baby is a delightful, lovely baby who's every bit as loved as my other children.

However, there is no doubt having too many children has had an enormous impact on our family, my career and not in a good way. I don't ever want DD4 to feel unwanted, but neither do I want her to grow up and think it's a good idea to follow in my footsteps. My other children know she was a huge surprise. Any advice on how to deal with this in the future in a sensitive way? A card.

Greeting card. Sorry, you were a mistake. Contraception's not 100% effective. To my beloved contraception failure. Don't make my mistakes. Underline beloved. Exactly. Why would not ask, would you say that?

Why would you tell a child they were a mistake? And she said the other kids know that it was a surprise. So you can say surprise. Look at the stock, she delivered unexpectedly, in a way that I'll have a huge financial impact on us. Return to send her? Oh, the stalk doesn't, oh. Oh, no. You don't seem anywhere near as shocked and appalled by this thread as I did when I first read it.

I was aghast. I mean, I think it's good to be honest with your children. What, and say, you were a mistake? Not in those words, obviously. That's how she starts the post. But, like, she's sitting there with her lovely six-month-old baby. I think now, now is the time to tell her. Because then you can say you've done your bit and told her, but it won't register, so it's fine.

Yeah, I told you. Don't you remember? I thought, I don't know what babies remember. I mean, it's a long way down the line to assume that this six-month-old baby's definitely going to have loads and loads of kids. Six-month-old baby might grow up and not want any kids. Depends what kind of conversation you have with them. If you set them down early, say five, say, use country. so you don't get stuck with a baby like you. I mean, if you start doing that to a child that young, then even if they have loads of kids,

you'll never need to be involved in their life because they'll cut you out the moment they can, surely. I think this is horrible. Like, the fact that this is something that's way on her mind. I'm sure it has been difficult having this fourth child. But you could say to all of your kids, if and when it gets to the point where they're having kids decades down the line probably.

Like, oh, it was difficult having four kids. I love you all, of course. course but I think the crooks is that you can have chats about contraception and sexual health with your kids without telling them they were mistakes and why would she single out just the youngest one? Does she think she's being compassionate here like I won't tell the other three that she was a mistake I'll let them stick with the word surprise but I will make sure I tell her but only her because I respect her what privacy yeah then she can choose whether she wants to tell the other three or not it's so weird does she somehow think the

youngest one is the one most likely to have loads of kids because what about this six-month-old screams, I want a massive family? I don't know. Maybe it's just obvious from the six-year-old demeanour. Six-month. Six-month-old demeanour. Yeah, is it? Yeah. Right. Keeps bashing dolls together. I don't know. I mean, in her original title, she does have an, Am I Being Unreasonable? Am I Being Unreasonable? Am I being unreasonable? I would say, yes, you are being unreasonable. But then in the post, she says, any advice on how to deal with this? Like, she's obviously decided that she's doing it regardless. If the person has to do it, when...

No one has to tell their child they were a mistake? If they have to, when do you think it would be appropriate? Why would they have to? One day? Like, 20? 30. I don't know. 40? Really depends, doesn't it? It really depends on...

Their relationship. Their relationship, whether this child seems like they want any children or how many children. I think we're getting to how much. do you want to know about your family's past? And this has just made me think of Fun Home, which we saw yesterday. Yes. The musical that's on at the Young Vic. This is going to be a really niche reference,

and I don't think a single one of our listeners will have seen it, so go on. But it's a musical about family history and family secrets, and how you talk to your parents about that, and how you cope with that, and how that impacts you in the future. Yeah. It's very good. It won five Tonys. Yeah. How does that relate to telling a six-month-old baby,

that they were never wanted. Because the mother in the musical didn't have to talk about the father's past, the way she did, but she wanted to be open and honest. Right. And I think talking about the impact that your children have had in your life, whether that's positive or negative,

can be good? Like, it's not good to keep things from your children. Okay, if you've got kids and one of them has three kids already, then you could say, listen, as someone who had four kids, four was much, much more difficult than three. The difficulty rose exponentially.

I'm just telling you this, so you know, that's one thing. To single out one child and say to that child, you were a mistake, it's completely different to... Well, they were a mistake. But why would you tell just that child that they were a mistake? Why would you sit them down? She's obviously planning this out, like, I'll sit her down and I'll have a chat with her. Like, though you would sit a child down and have a chat with them about contraception in general.

She's like, oh, but it'll be particularly pertinent with this one because if contraception worked, I wouldn't have had to fucking deal with this. Yeah. I think this is horrible. Am I being oversensitive about this? I think it's a really weird attitude. I can appreciate that obviously it's difficult for this person. She didn't intend to have a forced child.

She wants her kids to know about, you know, the difficulties that come with having lots of kids. But why is she looking at a tiny baby and planning the day that she ruins that kid's life by saying I never wanted you. It's weird. Yeah, I think if you can do it in a way that doesn't ruin the kid's life,

that's obviously important. But don't single out that kid. Should we see what the thread says? Because I think we disagree on this. I was horrified. I thought this was a brilliant example of mums that people being mad, but you seem to think that she's very sensible.

I think it can be done. I think it can be done. Just because it can, I'm not sure it should. Why on earth would you tell her that? A flipping awful thing to say. My mum said similar to me about 20 years ago and I can still remember how much it hurt. Oh no. If you don't want her to follow in your footsteps, educate her about sex and contraception. Wow, people are, people have different opinions to me. Don't tell

her, absolutely no good can come of it, focus on encouraging her in education, making sure she knows she has plenty of choices, building up her self-esteem and talking to her about contraception. These people are being a little judgy, because she did mention a contraception failure. There is a subtext to a lot of these posts like, well, perhaps you should have just some contraception, you're meaning. Don't be horrible to your kid. She did say that the contraception didn't work. They are being a little bit, stick the knife in

without proper comprehension of the post. Do not tell her this ever. A lovely surprise, perhaps, but a mistake, how would that make you feel to be told that at any age? Because I'd be gutted, and I'm 35. Yeah, I think the word mistake has certain connotations. Someone mentions accident further up. I think accident has negative connotations too.

If you really don't want her to follow in your footstance, Let's maybe frame it as we wanted for, but it was harder work than we thought. I don't know why you need to lie. I don't know. Do people do this? Do people go around asking, like, should I have as many kids as you did, or a different number? Maybe they do, I don't know. I was a happy accident, and I've never felt anything less than unconditional love. We joke about it.

I don't feel any different to my two planned siblings. See, I think that's nice. Happy accident is very different to accident, and it's very, very different to mistake. Yeah, so it's all in how you frame it. I just don't know why she feels the need to tell the kid at all. I don't know. I think she's being unreasonable, but maybe she's just struggling at the moment because she's got full kids and she's struggling,

and she's just thinking about making life easier for our kids and how she doesn't want them to struggle like she feels like she's struggling. Maybe I'm being unfair, but I think it's awful. I think being open and honest about kids and the impact that kids can have on your life is fine. I think it's the bit where she wants to single out this one who's a baby that I'm a bit like, why are you doing this? Fine. I think you should get them T-shirts

and say, planned, planned, planned, mistake. Well, three of them to have T-shirts and the little one would have a baby grow because she's only six months old. Yeah, maybe when they were a little older. Yeah. Okay, well, I think she's being unreasonable. Six months in, it's too late to change their name, really.

Missy. Oh, cute. Misty? Yeah. Misty K. Misty K. Should we do one more speed round? Am I being unreasonable getting married in jeans and a t-shirt?

No, whatever makes you feel comfortable. Am I being unreasonable to think nobody is having sex tonight? Oh, assume that's because of the heat. I don't have to talk about it. Especially not on mum's now. Am I being unreasonable living his best life? Oh, no. Great. Am I being unreasonable to not want to be the household manager anymore? No.

Am I being unreasonable? to not get cloud storage Everything's in the cloud nowadays All your mum's net post are in the cloud Am I being unreasonable? My glockenspiel is broken And I'm very suspicious A glockenspiel murder

The glockenspiel mystery is Dun dun dun dun Am I being unreasonable Mumsnet HQ does not want us to debate Brexit On the main boards So I'll bring it to the Am I Being Unreasonable board I think Amar Being Unreasonable Board is one of the main boards. I think this post is saying, I can't discuss this on this board.

So the fact that it's there means the post is redundant. So probably they are being unreasonable. Yeah, it sounds like Mum's Net towers are being unreasonable there. We've got to talk about Brexit. It's going to happen. Do we? Yeah. And Am I being unreasonable to be obsessed with Christmas already?

No, only five months to go. Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas, Christmas. All right, happy Christmas, everyone. Happy Christmas! Follow us at Why You Be Unreasonable. If you do delve into Mumsnet, we'd be happy to tell you your suggestions of am I being unreasonable threads that we can do. And tell your friends, leave us a review on iTunes. I understand that's a thing that people can do.

You can do that as a Christmas present to us. Yeah, happy Christmas, everyone. Happy Christmas. Right now! Right now! Ding! Nobody does it better. Including that.

Don't. It's not very kind. Makes me feel sad for the rest. This is the theme at the front now. I'm gonna move it. Is it quite the way you do? Quite as good as you. There we go.

Baby you're the best.