You Are Being Unreasonable - 033 - In which we get possessed by haunted hand-driers

Episode Date: November 22, 2018

"This is bullshit, Carrie, and you know it!" It's an episode of mysteries today as we unravel the Mystery of the Floor Penis, the Riddle of the Fashionistas, the Family, and the Hatbox, the Question of When the McConaissance Started, the Enigma of the Pasta 'N' Sauce, and the Case of the Hypnotic Hand-Driers. Is it unreasonable for restaurants to have gendered menus? Is it unreasonable to say "Sorry, we have plans today"? Is it unreasonable to expect for families to get taxis before Carrie Bradshaw? And is it unreasonable for friends to spend 40 minutes drying their hands?

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when their prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day when I felt the way that I do right now. Hello.

Hello! Another episode of You Being Unreasonable? Episode 33. The same age as Jesus when he died. We're not saying that we're Jesus, that's for others to decide. Here to bring salvation to all podcasts. Like I say, not up to us. Before we started recording, I went into the bathroom, as I want to do, on occasions. And I found on the floor what can only be described as a tiny floor penis. We'll post a picture of it on the Yaboo Twitter.

It's a real mystery. We don't know what it is or where it can. came from? I went into the bathroom when I came home wearing my coat, so maybe someone stuck it to my coat to tell me that I too am a floor penis. It's a tiny little piece of metal, burnished metal, but it's quite unmistakably shaped like a penis. Yeah, I started clutching at straws, maybe it's a sword, still doesn't explain how it got onto our bath mat. We don't know. Nobody knows. There are mysteries that we'll never understand. I might ask the boards on, am I being unreasonable? With that, should we look at the boards? Speed round.

Am I being unreasonable, children in pubs? No. I shouldn't be there. I can't drink. Am I being unreasonable can't afford to prep for Brexit? No, none of us can. Am I being unreasonable to think rabbits should always be sold in pairs. Yeah, you know what will happen there, don't you?

Well, I mean, the phrase like rabbits comes to mind. and am I being unreasonable to insist father Christmas is real until I drop dead wow no stick to your guns yeah he's out there the truth is out there I believe sure yeah okay let's do a full thread um this thread leads on from episode 32 in a way so if you haven't listened to episode 32 you can listen to them in either order but I feel like they are a pair a sequel they come from the same place yeah am i being unreasonable sorry we have plans today the most secretive worst humble brag snub i have a family member who says this when she is not free always i always think it's said in a way as if they are better than us

also why the secrecy just say what you're doing i get it as an occasional turn of phrase when pushed for time but used regularly it comes across really stuck up the type of person who is using this is always reluctant to do things with friends with her partner often without her partner but at weekends it's all about my little family and meeting up with other families as a no-no. So this is similar to what we did in the last episode, like you said, where people just said, I can't come. I can't come.

I can't come. Will you come? I can't come. Can you come? I can't come. Sorry, we have plans today. I feel like there's no winning on mums now. I think sorry we have plans today is what you say

when you've found out that you're not allowed to say, I can't come. I think it depends how you say. say it. Sorry, we have plans today. Oh no, they can't come and have lunch with us because they're taving over the world. Sugar. Sorry, we have plans today. I like that. That really implies, I know that you don't have plans. We have plans. So I was having a little scalp for threads while I was on the train earlier. And while I was on the train earlier, I was going out to do some plans that I've had for a week or so now. And just before I got on the train,

A friend sent me a text saying, what are you doing today? And I said, oh, I've got plans to meet some friends. And then I saw this thread and I was like, someone posted on Mumsnet about me. Oh no. Then I realised, no, they haven't. It's just perfectly normal to say, I've got plans. Is we have plans today what you want to say?

Is it what you say when you don't want to say what the plans are? Or is it what you say when you have no plans at all, but you really just don't want to see someone? Yeah, it could serve that purpose. Because I think that's, if you've got plans and you don't want to get into, what the plans are. You don't have to get into what the plans are. You've tried something slightly more polite than I can't come. But if you're saying it and you're saying it in a we have plans today fashion, but what you really mean is I just don't want to see you. Yeah,

that's kind of snotty. I don't know. There's no way for the person to know that though, unless they follow you. Like on social media or to your home? In person. In real life. The OG following. Like if they've come to knock for you because the person making plans with you is seven and you two are seven. Come to knock on for you. Do you want to play out? We have plans today. Shouted through the door.

It depends on context. If they're shouting, so we have plans today through the door of their house where you are, then that's a bad sign. It might be a sign that you're the stalker. Or if they're running from you in the street and they're showing it back to you. So we have plans today.

Wow, if someone's up to the point where they're chasing you and you're physically having to run away, but still feel like you need to have the social niceties to claim that you've got plans. I'm super like. Everyone involved in this situation is not doing well. Sorry, we have plans today.

So, yeah, I think we've got plans today is a perfectly reasonable thing to say. I said to my friend, I have plans today because I didn't think that she wanted the minisheeshoe of what I was doing. I was like, well, I'm meeting Maddie and Marianna, and then we're going to go to the tape, and then I'm going to have a cup of tea, and then my

cake, and we'll see how we go from there. That seems more snossy. That seems more like, look at me having a lovely time. Whereas, do you want to do something? Sorry, I've got plans. Seems a lot more like, I'm genuinely sorry, I like your company. Today's just not great. Yeah, I don't know what the alternative is.

If it's not just, I can't come. Yeah, is it. Does it come from the same place, I think, is what I'm asking? Does it come from a place of wanting to know every detail of someone's life? Yeah, what does the person actually want? What is the appropriate response? Is the appropriate response? Yes, I will spend time.

with you and anything other than that, no matter how nicely you put it, is... But no, I am not free. That really sounds like you're taking part in a prison protest. I'm not free. I'm not free. Yeah, exactly. Oh, they can't come because they're on hunger strike. Also in jail. We have plans. We have plans. I'd just like to comment. Someone mentioned how much they enjoyed the purring on the podcast. I suspect that in the background you can hear that one of our cats is shouting.

for us. That's fine. He's doing that. He's happy. So, should we hear from the thread? Because on the I Can't Come thread, people were a bit like, well, yeah, you know, no one owes you anything. Everything's fine. How dare you try to see your friends. So let's see if people respond differently in this situation. It's called being polite. What she actually means is I am free, but I don't want to spend my time with someone who clearly doesn't like me. Whoa! That's a big leap, isn't it? Yeah, that's from zero to bitchy and no time at all. Yeah. There's nothing to say that they don't like. I mean, there's nothing to say that they don't like me. The tone is they don't like this person, but we don't know the context.

I think everyone's tone is like that on Mum's Net. It's just a low-lying, underlying tone and resentment and disillusion at the world. Yeah, I think you only go to Mumsnet if you've really reached the point where the opportunity to have a face-to-face conversation has passed. Yeah. Overthinking much, it's just a thing people say. People say lots of things. Someone said, I say it, and my plans are to stay at home and watch trash TV.

Because I've had enough of socialising. I can kind of get on board with that. Sometimes I say, oh yeah. I'm busy that evening when what I mean is actually I'm busy six evenings out of seven and you've picked evening seven when my plan really was to have a bath and then go to bed at nine. Yeah, the plans were for nothing. Yeah. It's not like nothing is not the bad alternative. Nothing is the thing I want to do. Yeah, nothing is the evening I've looked forward to. Yeah. Being out six evenings in a row. Now, the time has come for me to sit on the sofa.

You should all have mandatory shared calendars where you have to enter what you're doing. So you can just put a block like annual leave but for nothing so I don't know if this is just a thing in the place that I work but where I work people have a thing where they put in protected time and it means if you schedule a meeting for this time I won't come but I will be at my desk yeah I had manage it so you used to do that so maybe you could just say oh that's my protected time maybe next episode there'll be someone saying I invited my friend out and they said it was their protected time yeah protecting myself I just think I get the feeling that these people will never be happy with any answer that isn't,

yes, I will do exactly what you would like me to do. I'm free whenever you want. Someone said, I say it because I don't suppose anybody cares what my plans are, which is what I was saying. Oh, I've got plans. To me, it feels more self-important to go into exactly what those plans are. Am I being unreasonable to find this an odd thing to state on a menu? I went to a restaurant with a friend the other day.

We were looking at the menu, and two of the pasta dishes, had the subheading, the lady's choice, creamy chicken and mushroom pasta and the gentleman's choice pasta in a spicy tomato sauce with strips of steak and sliced chilies i found this so incredibly weird and also rather offensive i was tempted to order the gents pasta just to see if the staff would keel over in horror i know they didn't write the menu the only other time i've encountered in person the whole concept of food intended for women and for men was at a wedding when one guest's decided the man next to her was being emasculated because he ordered the lemon cheesecake, not the chocolate fudge cake, which his wife ordered, and tried to convince him to swap as she was sure that being a man he really wanted the chocolate cake and was being deprived. It was bizarre. Has anyone else encountered this?

Like the idea of the staff keeling over in her. Yeah. Yeah, can I get the gentleman's choice please? Does someone get the smelling salts? I just, it's a bit old-fashioned, but why would you be offended? Rather offensive. It's not too dissimilar when we went on our honeymoon. We went to a fancy restaurant one evening. Stealthboast. We had plans that evening. Yeah, so we came to pay, and I was like, no idea, no idea at all what that meal costs.

Also, is it included in our room rate, do we pay now? What's going on? What are weird menu? Why did it have no prices in? And Simon was like, what on earth are you on about? They were there. And I was like, no, they weren't. Right next to the items.

Like a normal menu. Apparently they were in a different colour as well. So it isn't like you could miss them. So I had a menu with no prices at all. And Simon had a menu where the prices were like in red, in bold or something by the sound of it. I don't know. I didn't see it. We came to the conclusion that I must have been given the gentleman's menu,

as the gentleman is presumably supposed to pay. And you were given some kind of ladies menu, a delicate ladies. Don't mean to have a fit of the vapours when I find out that food in restaurants costs money. Deal, leave the finance to the men, little later. I mean, happy to. Why don't you leave this to your husband? So I want to talk about what makes the lady's choice for ladies and what makes the gentleman's choice for the gentleman.

Is it the spiciness of the gentleman's choice? It mentions spicy tomato sauce and sliced chilies. And also strips of steak. I think the strips of steak are the thing that make it manly. Stake is a fairy man. Grr. I'm a man, I want steak. I'm a man, I want steak.

I've dropped my floor penis in Helen's. in the bathroom. Weirdly, I can kind of see that, you know, oh, steak, big rich meal. Oh, creamy chicken and mushroom, sort of fairly meh meal. More suitable for the ladies. That would go nice with a glass of white wine. And yet, chicken and mushroom is one of the bachelor's pasta and sauce flavors, specifically for bachelors. Who are always men. The only one of your pasta and sauces that I ever think seems like a good idea is chicken and mushroom. The rest of them, I'm like, oh, why is that a thing? I think there's one that's like ham and leak, and I'm like, oh.

Oh, dearie me. A dreadful combination. Do you think the restaurant was just selling pasta and sauce? And so as a diversionary tactic, they gave them these offensive gendered names so that people were so caught up in a tiz about, oh, why is it called this? Why is it called that? They wouldn't stop to reflect on the fact that it was clearly bachelor's pasta and sauce. This is another case for Charles Stiles and Mystery Dinus.

Or Detective Pikachu. Or Detective Pikachu. Yeah. Classic. I would totally watch a food network show in which Detective Pikachu looked into restaurants. Yeah, is he allowed in there? Being a little electric mouse creature? Isn't that against hygiene standards?

Plenty of those restaurants have mice in them anyway. Well, yeah. Or they're better for going undercover. But Detective Pikachu stands out wearing an adorable little detective hat and being an electric mouse who can talk. She move on to the other thing that comes up on this, which is where she then says there's another time where there was a concept of food for women and food for men, in that lemon cheese cake apparently was considered to be for women

and chocolate cake for men. And what I'm starting to think is they think that women like pale foods and men like dark foods. Men like heavy foods. Chocolate food cake is quite heavy. But cheesecake... Cheesecakes you like rich, I suppose. Yeah, I mean, then...

Okay, so chicken and mushroom pasta. It looks like a lighter option, going to be like creamy and dense and rich as hell. If anything, a spicy tomato sauce is probably going to be lighter. I think they just think that women like pale foods and men like foods with some colour in them. I don't know. I wonder what gender they are in like languages that have a gender. I'm thinking of French. So is cheesecake a lady word? Maybe. That's what it's about, right? Lady words and boy words. I like that you think there are two categories of people, ladies and boys. Ladies and boys.

Sometimes you get them together Only in Bangkok though Someone has suggested They've seen gentlemen's cut And ladies cut steak in restaurants Which is about portion size Oh I definitely saw a fish and chips shop in Kensington Not long ago

Where you got a lady's portion of chips A lady's portion of chips Is the same portion of chips With three times as much mayo If I'm the lady in question Someone said My partner is vegetarian And I'm not

Whenever we choose our dishes he's always handed the meaty dish and I'm handed the vegetarian dish, always. I didn't see that, like... Whenever we go to the pub and you order a beer and I order a white wine, you get handed the white wine. Yeah, it's true. And I get handed the beer, a horrible, horrible beer.

And in Italy, I ordered a Campari sprit and you ordered an Aparole spritz and the waiter went to great lengths to explain why I was wrong, a Campari spritz is a very masculine drink. And I mean, maybe on balance of the two, it's the more masculine, but if I'm going for true gender stereotypes, Come on now.

Come on. Come on now. Maybe what we've learned is that there are a lot of people in the world who gender food and drinks, but we're not those people. The O.P. is not those people. But it's a thing that exists and we just need to shrug it off. I've never been offended by it. Really, they should have given them two different menus, like at our honeymoon restaurant. A blue menu and a pink menu.

This is the ladies' stuff. This is for Ladies Delicate Tommies. Ladies Delicate Tommies. And this is for The Gentleman. It's got pictures of cars in it as well in case they get bored It's very manly to have an upset stomach Yeah

The most manly thing you can do is It's something that makes you feel very poorly Yeah Yeah As a dainty lady will know better And just not Oh now people are saying This is everyday sexism

I'm sure in a way maybe But of all the everyday sexism That we encounter Oh my God This thread has turned me into some sort of terrible bigger I've turned into one of those people He's like why can't these snowflakes get a grip This isn't a real problem.

You want a gendered menu just to teach these snowflakes a lesson just to stick it to the lips. It's weird that the whole... It wasn't a gendered menu though. It was two gendered items. Which is weird. They also sound like slightly low quality items.

I think they've just given them names to try and jazz them up because they've got some boring stuff on the menu. The OP at some point has come back and said it's a fancy gastro pub. So it's a fancy gastro pub that clearly has some slightly boring pasta dishes on it to appeal to people that just want something

really simple, but it doesn't look right on their menu. If their whole menu is, you know, Zhu and stuff. Jue and stuff. Then they need to find a way to jazz it up. And they've jazzed it up in a way that was a misstep. But I think there's nothing more to it than that. Jue and stuff is like the upper class pasta and sauce. Yeah.

Jew and stuff. Exactly. Jew and stuff is going to be my new business venture. I think it's quite a progressive. restaurant in that there must be more than two items on the menu and they've only gendered two of them well it implies that there are

more genders than two yeah which is quite a progressive viewpoint oh maybe that's why that's why she's offended maybe she didn't want the lady's choice or the gentleman's choice but she doesn't believe that there should be any space for anything outside of the binary because of women's rights maybe she wanted like a pizza because

it wasn't called a lady's pizza she felt like she was being erased because it was mum's there can I have this Non-binary pizza, please. Oh, mums, aren't they always say gender-neutral? Because I think gender-neutral and non-binary are the same thing. Like, no, a person is non-binary, a toilet is gender-neutral. Oh, we've got to the crux of it, clearly.

She didn't want the gender-neutral pizza. She's been erased. And now she's fuming. Rights are being eroded by this creamy chicken and mushroom pasta. Just conflicting rights. The rights of this pasta to be called the lady's choice. And the right to this pizza to just be a pizza. minding its business

I've gone off on one again I'll stop making you have can I have the prefer not to say risotto can I have the none of your dad business steak it's a way for it's a way for the restaurant

to simultaneously present a menu and to do their equality opportunities monitoring monitoring yes I like that did everything also come with an ethnicity box an age box

that's a dessert All the protected characteristics covered off. Yeah, can I have a white British latte, please? A flat white British. That's Mum's that. Mums that is a flat white British. I'll have the bisexual strawberry cheesecake. Am I being unreasonable?

To be annoyed that taxi ranks don't let families in first. More like a ranch, really. Sorry if it was covered before. When we came back from holiday with the Euro Star, we went to the taxi rank. I had DC3 on the sling in front, a backpack on my back and the baby bag on the side while holding the hands of DC1 and 2. D.H had two large suitcases, a backpack and a bag. I told D.H. we will go to the front immediately because priority is given to families, and seriously, with all our baggage, you could tell we were not taking the piss.

When we got there, there were the Paralympic guides helping people into the taxis. She turned to us and said, Oh, sorry, who came first? There were these Carrie Bradshaw-like fashion-easters to go in front of us. I told the guide that we just came in, but usually families with babies usually go first. She told me she'd never heard of that, and unless we were disabled or something. Then, one of the fashionistas took all our baggage and said,

It's fine, we can go, at which her friend said, Oh, no, are you sure? Eventually we were let in, but I could not help but say to my husband, one of the fashionistas look great on the outside, but cold on the inside. What kind of inconsiderate society have we become? In France, there are signs all over the main taxi ranks that you let pregnant, disabled, families with babies and tots going before. We even naturally get called to the front by the usher as we arrive.

Even before I was pregnant and had kids, I always left the lift seats, etc. to the mums and elders. So this behaviour surprises me. I wonder if the Kerry Bradshaw-like fashionistas were going to like a Sex and the City convention. I just imagine them literally dressed like said Jessica Barker with the hair and everything. Screaming because it's windy, like Carrie Bradshaw.

Yeah. Smoking into some man's fridge like Carrie Bradshaw. One of them dressed in pyjamas at a typewriter. And I love that she says that this person looked great on the outside but cold on the inside. After the person had let them into the taxi first anyway. What a Samantha? Such a Samantha.

Carrie Bradshaw like that. and Easter's. It's an old thread, but I mean it's not a thread from the 90s. Come on. Is this a thing? Apparently in France it is. I don't know. If I was standing at the front of a taxi rank and some woman bustled over, she had three kids with her and loads of suitcases and some man, I would certainly would let her go in front, but I would think, who made you in charge? I'd let her in front because I would just tell that she was up for a row and I would not be up for a row. I wouldn't think that it was her duty to get in first. or whatever.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that big families pushing in front in various cues to get transportation is exactly how Kevin McAllister situations happen, how people get left home alone or get upon different flights to New York. Then you have children on their own in New York. I didn't even realise this was a Christmas thread. But it is. They're all Christmas threads. Yeah, this is how you end up separating your children.

and Olive Gutt is a Walkman to console them on the mean streets of Manhattan With the Carrie Bresshaw fashionistas Because they're sure as hell not getting into a taxi Sex and the City free And Home Alone free should combine There should be a sequel that is a crossover of both When we were watching Rugrats Go Wild earlier

That's Rugrats on the Wild form of it Yeah Okay, so, well in this scenario So a young Kevin McAllister well I suppose if we're casting Macaulay Culkin not so young anymore, but young Kevin McAllister gets lost in New York again and he gets adopted by Sex and the City's

Carrie Bradshaw and the girls. Modern day McCauley Colkin would be more than capable just going about his business though, wouldn't he? I mean, he's toured the world with his band Pizza Underground. Yeah. I think if he got left behind it a taxi rank, he wouldn't wait for the Carrie Bradshaw fashionistas to adopt him. He'd just be like, okay, and then he'd go off and do his thing.

But these Carrie Bradshaw fashionistas, surely they never get to get in a taxi, because there's always going to be a family there pushing to the front. Yeah. That's the thing. There's no priority for fashionistas. No. Except in France. That's, no.

Not in France. The one place where you really think they would get... They would expect. They need to go to Milan. Exactly. In Milan. Get your ass to Milan, fashionistas. They've got big signs up that say fashionistas and Carrie Bradshaw women,

cold on the inside and hot on the outside, get priority. if you're elderly or you've got kids get to the back of the queue it's a sign only it's like the you know women toilet signs except they have a big wide-bripped hat on because they are fashionistas I love that that's what you think fashion is

a big wide-brimmed hat a big wide-brimmed hat no what you're picturing is an elderly relative at a wedding elderly relatives at wedding and Carrie Bradshaw fashionistas get priority What if your baby's wearing a big wide-brimmed hat?

Because babies need to wear hats because they don't have hair and so to protect them from losing heat through their heads in the cold and getting sunburnt heads in the summer, babies very often have hats on. I think you'll need a separate seat for the baby's hat in the taxi. I assume a taxi driver has a hat box in the trunk. I assume. I mean, in Milan, surely.

But would you put your fancy fashion Easter hat in a communal hat box? You don't know what sort of hat. What if the last hat? I have to wipe it down first. Sweaty hats in the hat box. What if the hat that was there before was one of those baseball caps that says obey? Then you put your expensive hat in there and then it smells a bit like a baseball cap that says obey. Obey.

I think the baby should wear an Obey hat. Carrie Bradshaw knew everything and also nothing. Cynthia Nixon knew a lot, but not enough to be elected mayor of New York. So that's not going to help. when it comes to helping killing Macalester who's got lost in New York again. I don't think that it should be up to the mayor to usher the taxi rank

and start calling dibs on who gets the orders. Was she running for mayor or governor? It says gubernatorial candidate here. Oh, well, there you go. I think we can all agree that Cynthia Nixon is the best of the sex and city women, can't we? Yeah, except for when her character wears that boiler suit and that weird baseball cap

and just runs through Manhattan. That's terrible. But also, it's interesting that a lesbian would be in such a homophobic show. I guess she wasn't a lesbian at the time. Late in life, lesbian. Still. Maybe she was a lesbian at the time, but because she was in such a homophobic show, she didn't feel like she was able to come out.

I think she probably realized when she accidentally picked the lesbian choice on a menu. Oh, yeah. Of course. It's obvious all along. What would the lesbian choice on a menu? No, we're going to end up doing some bad 90s offensive humor there. Clams! No.

No. Let's see what the thread has to say. I don't expect to go to the front of the taxi rank just because I decided to have three children. I like that they specify three. Like, if you've got two kids, just clear off. You can wait like everyone else. If you've got three kids, it's your time to shine.

Get to the back of the line, lazy mother. Can't believe you've got on a third kid yet. Someone said, I have two, and I would wait my turn. But we've established that's because if you have two, you have to wait your turn. It's only when you have three. Gotta wait. If you have more than three, then what do you do?

Because a taxi only, yeah. standard taxi won't fit you. You have to hire a minibus. Like in, home alone. Yes. What I was going to say is if you've got four kids, but you've got two parents there, you could separate and have a parent and two kids each, but then, because

there's only two kids trying to get in each taxi, you don't get your cue jumping rights. Yeah. The rule is free. It's a rule of free, baby. What if you've got five kids? So one person's got three kids with them. They get the cue jumping rights, but the other one's got two kids, they don't. Next thing you know, you're arriving an hour and a half apart,

because you're having to keep let these bigger families in front. Keep letting these damn fashionistas get in the taxi. The cold-hearted fashion easters are telling you that you can just back off. And the fashionistas want multiple taxis because they have their giant hat boxes. Exactly. You've got four fashionistas, but they need a taxi each because they've got so many hats. You've got four fashion easters and a family trying to cross the river. You can't put the fashion easters and the family in the boat together because they will eat one another. But the hat box also needs to go across.

incidentally which taxi is the lady's choice and who has plans today where do they have to get to win this taxi sorry we have plans we need to sort out our hat box getting across the river real surely that would be fine though because you've specified what the plans are that wouldn't be fine yeah

maybe that's what I'll tell people from now and if I just don't fancy doing something I'll say I have to sort out my hat box today sorry I'm going to be late home I'm waiting for a taxi and there's hundreds of fashion east and a family coming up behind me that I'll have to let pass someone said you'll digs at another woman for giving a shit about what she was wearing is a bit crap I mean yeah sure someone's just said is this why France has such a high birth rate

popping them out to get taxis I didn't know that France did have a high birth rate but I'd love to think that's why people are having so many children people have had two and then they're sick to the back teeth of waiting for taxis and they're like how much difference from a third make of anything it'll make life easier having a third will definitely be good for us because of the taxis. That's why Carrie kept those three friends around, just so she could claim they were her daughters, so she could get in a taxi.

Dress them up as babies. It's very fashionable. She wrote a column about how fashionable to look like a baby, so they'd be influenced, and then she'd be there. And Matthew McConaughey shouted at her for being a terrible person. It's still Matthew McConaughey's finest moment. That's bullshit carrying you know it. the only person in the whole of Section City

to tell her the truth was Matthew McConaughey. Yeah, tell it, Matthew. I saw the McConaissance coming long before it came. That was the McConaissance for me. Still is. This is what's past the McConaissance now. This is the McEnlightenment. Exactly.

Yeah, I mean, I think this person's being unreasonable. What do you think? I quite like the idea of families going first. I think that's a nice community thing to do, but I don't think it's a rule, and I don't think you should feel entitled to it. Yeah, it's not a right. I can see how it's a nice initiative, but for the taxi drivers to do that, really. Yeah, if I was standing at the front of a queue and a flustered-looking family came up behind me.

Yeah, I like to think I'd let them through. Yeah. I'm not a fashion Easter. The other thing is, if it was just me and the family, I would definitely let them in front, but if it's like a queue behind you, it's not up to just you, so the fashionistas probably had to try and level what the rest of the queue were thinking as well. It's a lot more complex than she makes it out. It's not just a case of you've got three kids, the world's your oyster.

Yeah, it's all very complicated, but I'm sure that someone is being unreasonable, and it's probably Carrie Bradshaw smoking into a man's fridge and screaming at the wind. It's our Sex and City Review podcast. That's bullshit, Carrie. And you know it. And by being unreasonable to be freaked out by friends' weird behaviour, have main changed as circumstances quite specific. Basically, I went out for a drink with a group of friends,

I said I needed a toilet and one of the friends said they did too so they came with me. I had a wee, washed my hands and went to dry them. She did all this at approximately the same time. I finished drying my hands and looked at her. She just smiled and carried on drying her hands. I thought, fair enough, and told her I'd see her back in the bar. Ten minutes later, we noticed she still hasn't come back and we're talking about moving on. I go to see if she's still in there and she still stood in the same position drying her hands.

I tell her we're thinking of moving on soon. so she says, okay, and still stands there with her hands under the dryer. I go back to the group and tell them Friend A is still drying her hands. We have a bit of a laugh over it and then talk about something else. Ten minutes later, we're all done with drinks and ready to move on. Friend B says she needs the toilet, so we'll tell Friend A to get a move on at the same time. Bear in mind she's been there for over 20 minutes by now, drying her hands. Ten minutes later, neither friend has returned.

Getting a bit impatient now, I go in and tell them we're moving on. and see them both stood there drying their hands. Not talking or anything, just stood in silence with their hands onto the dryer. We left without them in the end. They've spoken since and they're both pissed off that we left without them. Other friends thought it was beyond weird at the same time, but I can't get over it. It was so bloody weird. Am I overreacting?

What is this? Is this some kind of cult? I love this. Maybe they didn't want to go to the next bar, but they know they can't say I can't come. They know they can't say they've got plans. so they're just drying their hands until people leave. I need to dry my hands. How dry will your hands get after 20 minutes?

It's cracked. This is like 30 minutes, yeah. The skin will be cracked. Should we go through the timeline? From the force of the wind. So the timeline, so the O.P, weird hands dryers and Friend A go to the bathroom. They dry their hands. 10 minutes pass.

10 minutes on the clock. So she goes and checks and she says, oh, I'm still drying my hands. So the OPE goes back. 10 more minutes pass. and that's when friend B says that she's going to the loo. 20 minutes on the clock. But then 10 minutes after that, neither have returned. And that's when weird hand dryers, the O.P, goes back in.

30 minutes. And then they left without them. So about 30 minutes of hand drying. Have you ever tried to leave a bar with a group of people? That's got to be another 5 to 10 minutes there just to people slowly gathering things together. Yeah. It's coming up for 40 minutes, I think. It's very strange behaviour.

Does dryers never get your hands completely dry? No, you just get them mostly dry and then wipe them on your coat, don't you? That's what genes are for. Yeah. But I venture to say that 30 minutes under a dryer would have them pretty clean. I mean, 30 minutes not under a dryer. If you just held your hand, that will let them air dry. It is weird.

I don't think the O.P. is overreacting at all. Just staring into... No. Just staring into the air as you dry your hands. Now, I would have hazarded that the first hand dryer... that the friend was using was in some way haunted and they've been possessed. But then the second friend went in

and I reckon at that point that must be the hand dry of the OP used. The AP was immune to this haunting. They didn't get sucked in. So we're thinking about a ghost who, I don't know, died of drowning and he's desperately trying to get dry.

Yeah. Yeah, drowned in the bathroom and now can't get dry. It's perpetually wet. Drowning in the bathroom of a bar. How do you even do that? was like full face-first into the toilet. Yeah, you're falling in the toilet or someone drowns you with some kind of hit.

And then you're doomed to wander around. If you'd take a hit out, you wouldn't get them to drown someone in a pub toilet, would you? Mowing Myrtle died in the bathroom. Of drowning? Yeah, and now she haunts the Hogwarts bathroom. Oh. I don't think it was of drowning. You don't think she haunts exclusively the hand dryers?

No, but she can sort of, as a ghost, she sort of flies out of the toilet and stuff. So it's not inconceivable that there could be a ghost in the room. Well, but also Harry Potter's not a documentary. No. I really desperately want to believe that they were just in on this, and they planned this whole night out, like, yeah. It's like a flash mob. Oh my God, do you think of it if they hadn't moved on?

Yeah. Hundreds of people all drying their hands simultaneously, going for the record. I'm going to Google hundreds of people drying hands in bathroom after we finished recording, see if there's a video. I found a wiki how on how to dry your hands in a bathroom. So say spend upwards of 30 minutes. staring into space? No, it says

45 to 50 seconds, it recommends. Do you think maybe they got seconds and minutes mixed up? She took the pair of them and they're like, oh, what a slovenly bitch? She didn't even dry her hands for 10 minutes, let alone 45 to 50. Seems unlikely that it'd be their first time in a bathroom drying their hands.

It might be their first time drying their hands with her. Hmm. Did the person ask, what are you doing? Are you still drying your hands? That is, a question from the thread is, Did you not ask what they were doing? Yeah. And someone has said, in quotes, like,

why are you still drying your hands after 20 minutes? They can't still be wet. That would have got you a better answer than randoms on the internet could proffer. Yeah. But, I mean, if everyone just did the logical thing, there wouldn't be anything on Momsnet because everyone would just have conversations

and that would be better for the world in the long run, but we'd be out of a podcast. But there has to be a reason. Maybe the person has OCD or something. In which case, you know, they could just say. You say there has to be a reason. but just the other week on a different episode of this podcast you were saying that people are not

in fact rational. Someone said it was probably nice and warm. I'm sure it was nice and warm. Nice and warm here isn't it? Cheaper than putting the heating on at home? Just going out, going down the pub rather than put the heating on. Oh, nice and warm. You hear stories about people going down the pub

rather than putting the heating on because for the cost of buying one drink at a pub versus putting your heating on all evening. It's cheaper. But I thought that was about going to a place that was already heated and buying the cheapest possible drink. Not about just going to the hand dryers. Yeah, hanging out under the hand dryers is not the way to go.

I think my arms would start to wake if I had to have them out in that weird hand dryer position. Especially on one of the Dyson ones. Yeah. Or you've got to dip your hands in like a T-Rex. So the AP does come back. When I went in the last time, I said, What are you both doing?

Friend A, you've been in here for 40 minutes drying your hands. She looked at me and smiled. I thought maybe they were having a private conversation, but that doesn't explain why A was in there for so long on her own. Plus, they were stood in silence when I walked in, not even looking at each other. This is like a really bad horror film.

I would watch this horror film on streaming. I would not go to the cinema, but I would watch this horror film on streaming where two women would become possessed and just stand under a hand dryer, smiling. We've always been here. We've always been by the hand dryer. Apparently, oh, so then she said it was weird,

and then friend B is now denying it and saying it was two minutes. Maybe they were high. None of the other friends want to talk about it. it anymore. That's weird. This is always strange. I think with my friends, if that had happened, people would still be up for talking about how weird it was. They might be like, this can't be the only thing we talk about forevermore, but occasionally they would be like, that was a weird thing. Remember that? It was weird.

Slow zoom in on a photo of New Year's Eve, 1930 in the bathroom. And there's the two of them, smiling, smiling from the photo. They're probably high. Yeah, yeah, some people on this road. loves handdrives when they're high. You know, I was thinking about this earlier. I was on a bus, and there were some people on the phone really loudly, and I hate talking on the phone.

They were quite clearly dealers doing their dealing. I was like, oh, mate, like... Mate, you get on Snapchat. I don't... I don't do drugs anyway, but if I did do drugs, enough to make me stop would be the idea that I'd have to phone up my dealer and then have a conversation as long as the conversations they were having. Oh, nightmare.

Like, this is why millennials have stopped doing drugs and drinking. is because it involves too much interaction. I'm sure there's like an Uber for drugs. You just don't know about it, because you're not cool. You're not a fashion Easter. I mean, those Carrie Bradshaw women could have told me. They get the hook up.

They got the Uber. Well, clearly not, because they wait in a taxi room. Someone said, either drugs or a hand dryer that eats your soul. Of course. Of course. Yeah. That's the title of the horror film.

The hand dryer that ate the souls. Wow. What a good thing. title. That's, yeah, that's the sort of thing you invite a group of friends around to watch and like you have a glass of wine with it. We went to watch the remake of Susperia and I think it would have been much improved by being called the scary dance academy. It's good to know exactly what you're getting. I think Susperia would have been much improved if rather than being a dance academy they were hand dryer fitters. Yes. A coven of witches who fit

hand dryers. And Susie had no formal training in fitting hand dryers, but she was such a natural. Such a natural, just so good at it. I mean, if you haven't seen Susperia, this will mean very little to you, but if you have seen Susperia, this will mean very little to you, so it's fine. Susperia is nearly as long as these people spent drying their hands, probably. This is very strange. We should have had this in our Halloween episode. This spooky one. This very spooky hand dryer story. I mean, maybe the O.P. is just practicing some creative writing. Maybe they're trying to write some horror stories.

Some, like, flash fiction. Yeah, this is like the new Slender Man. Yeah, the hand dryer women. The hand dryer women. Drier ladies. No, that sounds like tenor lady or something. Have you ever heard the story of the midnight dryers? I mean, if they were still there at midnight, they'd be...

My favourite thing on the whole thread. Was it a Dyson? Well, I think we can... Yeah, and with that, should we do one more speed round? There's so many mysteries. Was it a Dyson? Can fashion easter's get a taxi? Where did this floor penis come from? We just don't know.

Unsolved mysteries. One more speed round. Am I being unreasonable to chip delivery drivers, etc? No, you go to you. Am I being unreasonable, mouse in the house? Ah! No. Am I being unreasonable to get a real Christmas tree with no water?

It's going to wilt, round flex everywhere. Am I being unreasonable, baby seeing husband naked? Oh, I think that's fine. It's a little baby. Yeah, I mean... Babies don't care. As long as it's your baby. It was just a baby.

That's a really different scenario. Yeah. Am I being unreasonable to treat myself? No, treat yourself. Treat yourself. Treat yourself, 2018. Ooh! We have a live show coming up.

We do have a live show coming up. first you are being a reasonable live show. We would love to see you there. It's on Thursday the 13th of December and it will be in Kings Cross and we will put out further details about the venue and everything and all the details in writing rather than on a

podcast I were just rambling. Yeah, so please do come along. It'll be like this only with us in person. And we might get people to cheer along to the speed rounds and you can have your say. Yeah. But only a bix. It's our podcast. Yeah. Thanks for

following us. Don't forget to rate, subscribe, etc., you know, do iTunes reviews and stuff that helps. Yeah, thank you for listening. Thanks. Bye. Bye.