You Are Being Unreasonable - 042 - In which we encourage people to leave their husband for Tom Hiddleston

Episode Date: April 4, 2019

"What predates the EU and managed to get in? The Vikings." Should you give your personal details to the Russian government? Who counts as a mother for Mother's Day? Should you be allowed to eat food that you enjoy? Would you let someone clean your house to give you more time to conceive? And most importantly which animals symbolise which countries? We also iron creases into our underpants, we carry a Viking longboat to Russia like Fitzcarraldo, we plan for a hot double cream recording, and we discuss Brexit Bill's eating preferences. 

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when their prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful. The world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic. And I never felt as good as how I do right now,

except for maybe when I think about I felt that day when I felt the way that I do right now. Hello. Hello. Hello. Welcome to You Are Being Unreasonable, a podcast about people being unreasonable on mumsnet.com. It's true. The only podcast about people being unreasonable on mumsnet.com. The only one that I will recognise. Not my podcast. All we're really doing is highlighting to people that there may well be another one out there, but don't listen to that one, because everyone says that the sponsorship sounds like someone having a wee. There's an ad on it that people on Mumsnet say sounds very much like someone having a wee. At least we don't have ads that sound like people having a wee.

No, not yet we don't. Really, we just couldn't find anyone to sponsor us. That's our problem. Shall we do some speed round? Am I being unreasonable to choose a cleaner over a pension? A little bit. I feel like you'll need the pension to pay the cleaner, no? You just don't get a cleaner when you're old.

When you're old, you just live in filth. Am I being unreasonable to wonder if tiny weddings are rubbish? Tiny weddings. Tiny weddings. Tiny toy weddings, tiny weddings, tiny weddings for cats. We'll never know, it's the speed round. Am I being unreasonable? 5P at Floress for a bag.

Am I being unreasonable? 5P for a bag everywhere, mate. Doesn't matter if it's flowers, beer, cheese, bigger flowers. All the essentials. And am I being unreasonable? Do you like your partner's penis? Quite the question. We're never going to delve into that one

because I don't want to read 200 Mums Net as wanging on about their husbands. cop. My answer is no. You don't like my penis? That's right. Should we do a threat? Am I being unreasonable to not want to give my details to the Russian government? My mum has booked a Viking river cruise to Russia and as such needs a Russian visa but the visa is asking for the details of her adult children including name, date and place of birth, current address and passport numbers. Since I am not going to Russia I really do not see why they need this information and I don't want to give it. But if my mum's visa is declined, Vikings say they won't refund her because it said in the small print you're supposed to sort out your visa before

booking. Am I being unreasonable to think this is unfair? After all, I didn't sign off on any small print and it's my personal details. Am I just being paranoid? I feel this has put me in a really difficult situation as I don't want to provide this information but I also don't want to be to blame for my mum losing her holiday money. I get some bad news for this poster. Is it that if the Russian government want to know, they know? Russian government, I already have your details, my dude. Yeah, they're just double-checking.

Yeah. This is just how they update their systems. It's quality control. What's a Viking river cruise to Russia? I don't know, but it sounds hellish, doesn't it? Vikings come from, like, Denmark, correct? Scandinavia. Yeah.

So do you get the river all the way to Russia? Is it like... What I'm picturing is... And then pick up the boat? like in Fitzcaraldo and take it to another river I don't know what I pictured was like

you know Yervik in York Yovic It's like that except it's a whole cruise of that experience So it's like fully immersive Exciting Viking experience

Those smells For all the time It would take you to get From wherever this departs from To Russia I don't think there's any one river To Russia Pick up the boat

Or go on a different boat I think yeah row, row, row, row, row, row, row, row. If this poor woman's mother has to row her way to Russia, then it would probably be doing her a favour if the daughter declined to give the information. Rocha. Rocha. You're funny. Thanks. I like this bit where she's like, I didn't sign off on any small print, and it's my personal details.

You have to give the same kind of details to go to the US. You don't have to give your adult children's details, though, do you? I don't know, I don't have any adult children. I don't know. We haven't applied for an Esther. In a while. And since then you have had adult children. Since I've had adult children, yeah. You adopted a 28-year-old just the other day.

Yeah, he's growing into a strapping young man. So I'd give the details of Jonathan to the US, but why not? And they would collude with Russia, or would they? We don't know. My adult child, Jonathan. No, he wouldn't. I meant the US government. Oh, well, yeah. Look, if you don't want your mum to put the details down, just don't put it down.

Like, say, I don't have any adult children. My adult children are dead to me. The problem is that Russia will know that's a lie. Well, what are they going to call them out? They're going to say, no, you can't come in because we know you lied on your phone. That sounds exactly like what the Russian government would do. Russia is such a big country. They can't protect the whole border.

Yeah. Especially the clandestine rivers that the Viking River Cruise uses. The secret rivers. It's so big that their border to inland ratio means there's not that much border. It's like how a mouse has a bigger source. surface area to mass than an elephant. Russia's the elephant here, whereas Britain is a mouse. Okay.

Surface area to mass. Britain is a lion, hells, and I won't hear any other comparisons, and Russia is a bear. No, Britain is very much a mouse. Countries, and their animals that they have. That they have, or that they are. Countries, and the animals that symbolise them. Okay. Let's go. Britain.

Mouse. No, lion. Mouse. Russia. Um, okay, fine, bear. Good. Japan? Weird, cuddly mascot.

Yeah, I was going to say raccoon, but I'll take that. Yeah, they're the same. Raccoons are cuddly mascots. Yeah, America. A dead eagle. Goodness. Canada. I don't know, something really super cute, like a guinea pig.

All answers are wrong, it's a moose. Friends. I don't know. Cat. Germany. No, as you said cat, Leon came in. Now you're just shouting things you can see. No, France is a cat.

Okay, but if you're a cat. answer for Germany is like pillow or curtains or window then you are definitely just saying stuff you can see. That's not an animal. Okay fine. Germany I don't know like a pig? Bulldog. Why is it a bulldog? British bulldog? That's British. Germany stealing our bulldogs. This is why we need to leave the EU. It's like synesthesia for me but it's animals in countries. Well then you've got an unfair advantage because you just see it. Spain? I don't know. Chihuahua. quite a good one. I like that. That's a good one.

They all have one. Yeah? Australia. Uh... Kangaroo. Come on, hells. But no, I don't know if we're going for what they are or just like what we think of. This is the Pixar movie. This is the Pixar movie.

Is it? Animal country things. Animal country things by Pixar. You saw Inside Out. That was more abstract than this and they smashed it. Yeah, I mean I can't tell you anything about Inside Out. I've seen it, but it's okay. It didn't make much of an impression on me. It's not Toy Story 3. is it? It's not, is it?

Shall we see what the thread has to say? Yeah. If anyone's forgotten what the thread was. It's about animal countries. The Russian government wants to know this woman's details because her mum's going on a Viking river cruise. A couple of people saying, well, why doesn't your mum just deny that you exist?

So that's an interesting take. That's what I said. As we come up to the Easter period, has anyone stopped to consider that perhaps Judas was trying to go on a Viking river cruise and the Russian government wanted to know the details of every Messiah he followed, and out of respect for Jesus' personal details,

he denied any knowledge of him, thrice. Maybe that's what happened here. Can't believe it. Listen, I'm the son of a minister. Let me tell you why, it doesn't work. Go on. Judas was giving Jesus up to the Romans. And it wasn't Judas.

You're thinking of Peter. Yeah. Judas famously said he knew Jesus. That was the point of his betrayal. Judas famously told everybody he could, for money. Well, just, I know you won't edit this bit out. Someone said, visa's a governmental tip-for-tat. We make it hard for Russians to get a visa to the UK.

They make it hard for us to go to them. Yeah, after Brexit, it'll be hard for them to come over here. Yeah, taking back control of our borders. What predates the EU and manage to get in? Is it the Vikings? I think it might be. I managed to get in. Oh no.

I don't think we've been invaded by any Vikings since joining the EU, but they're going to be back. They're going to be back with a vengeance, bitches. What about the Vikings at York? Yorick was set up after the year. And they got over there. The Vikings at York? They're just drama students from York

trying to make a bit of spare money for beer. Smell convincing now. They pump that smell in. That's not the actors. It's like having a diffuser, but the diffuser smells of shit. Still, I think the Yorvik Viking Centre is great value for money and a fun day for the whole family.

Wow, we're not getting any money back from this advert, and that's disappointing. Someone said, if you work for M.5 or M.A.6, then I would be a bit more cautious, but other than that, what? So now you're not allowed to be worried about the Russian government having your details

unless you're a spy? Yeah. Otherwise, that's just par for the course at this point, it would seem. If you're a spy, you don't want anyone to find out who your mother is and what cruises she's going on. That's why James Bond never talks about his mother and the cruises she's going on.

I'd like to believe that if you are a proper spy, then there's some sort of protocol in place that means that you've got fake details that you can supply in situations like this. The whole spy network would fall apart and it turned out that if your mum needed a visa, that was you outed. Yeah, I think if you're a spy,

your mum just puts your name down as secret or something like that. I like that. That's good. Secret. What if you just called your kid's secret? I hope that would help them be a spy. They're like, I'm sorry, but your code name is already your name, so actually you can't be a spy. Instead... Charlotte Crette.

Charlotte Crette. And then someone's come along and in a really like emotional blackmail way has said, I would do it for my mum. Well, there we go then. Am I being unreasonable to think it is weird if DS signs this M-Day card? D.H. has just asked me to get DS6 to sign D.H's mum's M-day card. I asked why, when it's for he's. his mum, mother-in-law, and he said she likes DS better than him. Is this not weird?

If DS did not have a mum, then it would be like saying she's a mother figure for him. But as I am well and alive, and very much she's main carer, is it not a bit disrespectful to me that D.H. is getting him to write a card to her, especially as D.H. rarely bothers to get me anything from the kids other than whatever crap he sees in the supermarket. Last year, he bought me a mug. I don't drink hot drinks, so couldn't have put much less thought into it. I mean, let's look at the premise here. Yeah, go on.

She's saying it's disrespectful to her if the boy signs a Mother's Day card to someone else. Yeah, for he's grand. In addition to her. Yeah. But that's not how it works. Mother's Day is about mothers of all shapes and sizes, not just your own mother. It doesn't devalue your card if the kid signs another card. He's just spreading the mother in love.

Exactly. I really don't see the problem. It's weird to sign a card to not your mother. But I think if you're going to sign a card to not your mother, your grandmother does seem like a legit person to sign a card to. It's probably the best option. Yeah, better that than like just someone that you work with who you think is really kind. It has to be a mother, though.

Not necessarily. No, it has to be a mother. I know, I'm setting limits on this. It has to be a mother. You can't just get someone for someone you think of as a mother figure. But the OP seems to think you can. Yeah, she's wrong about that as well. Yeah. So signing another card doesn't devalue your own Mothers take card. Okay. And you have to get cards for Mothers, not just mother figures. Okay, so like, if you're a nun, you can get a card for the

mother superior. Or are they a mother figure? I think you're so clever, don't you? No, I'm asking a question. Are they a mother or a mother figure? They're a mother figure. Okay, so no Mothers-A cards for nuns. You have to be someone's primary maternal carer. Okay, but now what you're saying means that it's right that the kid doesn't sign it for the granny. No, you have to be a primary maternal carer. So the granny is or was someone's primary maternal carer and is therefore a mother. Okay. Pretty strict limits on what's a mother here. But is it disrespectful? No, it's fine. Then, she goes on to have a bit of a whinge that her husband only gets the crap that he sees, in the supermarket, which is unfortunate

and all that jazz, but there is so much crap in the supermarket that he cannot be alone in doing this, otherwise the supermarkets would not bother. Can't move for, like, cups that say Mummy loves gin and boxes of crap chocolates at the moment. Yeah, also the kid should get it. The kid is only

six. But he knows it's Mother's Day because he signed his grandma's card. So he should be going up to Daddy and saying, Daddy, what are we going to get for Mum? He thinks it's Grandmother's Day. No, that's a different day. Daddy, what do we get for grandma. That's a different day, and it's the first Sunday in October. It has been for years. Wow, okay. By which I mean since 2008. That is years. It's not widely advertised, and has not been

as commercially successful as Mothers and Fathers Day. Should we have got cards for our mothers in law? I don't think so. Or sign the cards to our mothers from the partner? I feel like it would have been weird and creepy if I'd signed the card to your mother. That was somehow implied that you and I were siblings. No, he's your mother-in-law, though. No, I don't like the idea of signing cards to... Mother through law. No, I don't like it.

The idea of mother-in-law is pretty weird, because like you say, it does imply that we're now siblings. Yeah. Because what is it, there's nothing that makes my mother anything motherly towards you now. I think there's a lot of these things where if we started digging, we'd never stop, would we? We've got a podcast to make.

Right, so last year the husband bought her a mug, and she doesn't drink hot drinks. Well, that's dubious, because adults who don't drink hot drinks creep me out. Like, not even hot chocolate. I understand people who don't like tea and coffee. Like, I don't understand them, but I know they exist. But people who don't even drink hot chocolate. Like, what, not even on a cold winter's day after a long walk?

And they're like, no, I only like Coca-Cola. I'm like, are you four? I had a meeting with this guy at work, and he said, uh, the person I share in office with is really suspicious of me because I don't drink tea. And then I said, do you drink any hot drinks? He said, no. And I became suspicious of me. But I didn't vocalise it, just narrowed my eyes.

Yeah, not drinking tea, that's fine, that's one thing, that's the thing that I've heard of. Not drinking coffee, fine, thing that I've heard of. Not drinking tea or coffee. Not a lifestyle that I would choose, but still within the realms of possibility. But it's when they won't drink any hot drink. You won't even have a hot ribena. Not even a little hot ribena. Come on now.

Hot milk. Send you to sleep at night. Oh, lovely hot milk. I'm going to have a hot milk off. Should we finish recording? A hot double cream. Oh, that sounds claggy as anything. Next recording, we'll both be drinking hot double cream.

I mean, that'll do wonders for the audio quality. Oh, if we're able to hear it in our voices, we'll have creamy voices, but not in like a rich, deep jazz way in like a sort of, yeah, splashy way. Happy Mother's Day, Mom, I get you this hot double cream. Revolting. Mother's day's not a real thing, though, is it? Like, it's not. It's a religious holiday.

It's always based on Lent. On that basis, if people are religious, then fair enough, they're allowed to care about it. During the 16th century, people return to their mother church for a service to be held on this Sunday in Lent. And then later that went from Mother Church to, you know, talking about your mother. Yeah, I don't know, I don't really care. But a lot of people do care. Mothering Sunday, as in this Sunday in Lent, has other names. It has other names.

Tell me them. The best ones are Refreshment Sunday. Nice. And pudding pie Sunday. One of them is Rose Sunday and my mum's called Rose. Oh, I'll tell her that and she'll probably say... Say that on the podcast. What if the Russian government's listening?

Well... I assume they are. I always assume that whatever I'm doing, the Russian government are probably aware of it. At least someone's listening. That month where we had like literally thousands of plays, It was all the Russian government, wasn't it? D'estvidanya, Russians.

D'estvidanya. D'estvidanya, Mama. On this mothering Sunday. Am I being unreasonable to want to eat food I enjoy when we go out for a meal? A bit first world problem here, but I'll plough on anyway. IDH and I have very different tastes in food. I like veg-based dishes with lots of herbs and spices

and contrasting tastes. D.H. likes comfort food. Think bangers and mash, shepherd's pie. I don't mind comfort food, but it would never be my first choice if you see what I mean. But as D.H doesn't like any spicy food or anything remotely foreign, if we go out for a meal, we always go to places that serve the food he prefers. We've done this for 20 years now. Am I being unreasonable to think that just sometimes, my birthday, Mother's Day, etc., we could go to a restaurant that serves the type of food?

I enjoy? What's really annoying is that as far as I know, DH has never even tried anything different, so how does he know he doesn't like it? I know I could go to my type of restaurant with a friend, but we don't have a huge amount of money, and we like to spend what we do have on going out together, staring at me. You ready? Three, two, one, dump the bastard. Wow, after 20 years together, you think she should leave him because he wants to eat bangers and mash. After 20 years of only eating bang as a mash, yeah Just go to another restaurant, you prick

Yeah So like the guy is clearly an asshole Yeah The guy's Brexit But what I really want to know is Where in God's name are they going Where they're buying Shepherds Pie out I don't know

Brexit Bill over here I have never seen a restaurant that serves Shepherds Pie Brexit Bill over here Taking his wife to the Carverie every week Just piling it up with dry dry turkey. Like the people I used to work with. Because he didn't want any flavour.

God forbid. Genuinely, like the people I used to work with. Turkey and turkey gravy. Go and that Lorenzo's, because it's good at that Lorenzo's. You can buy an omelette. What? Lorenzo sounds awfully Italian to me. I don't want any of that foreign muck.

Yeah. Have you thought about not clogging up a table at Lorenzo's a charming family-run Italian restaurant that's quite small? No, I'm sorry you've been with him for 20 years, but you shouldn't have late get this far. It was obvious from the start It was a bad apple He was selfish and only wanted to eat shepherd's pie

Do you think he would eat an apple? I don't know, maybe, it's not veg-based And it's not foreign muck Exactly, apples from God's country That's fine Apples, bangers and mash, Shepherds Pie The only meals he knows I think he'll go out for like an American burger

To an American food establishment Like a McDonald There's no suggestion that he'd even have a Mackey's. No, just go into English places for English people. He doesn't like any spicy food or anything remotely foreign. I think you've nailed it here. He is Brexit Bill. If he's grouping foods together by foreign and not foreign, that there's something distinctly wrong with him,

it's one thing to be someone who doesn't like spicy food. I've got friends who just can't tolerate spice. But they say, I don't like food that's very spicy. They don't say, I don't like food that's not British because that's not true of them because they're not idiots. They just know that spice isn't for them and that's fine. There's always something you can have.

Like, no matter where you go. Like, unless you've got a certain intolerance or an allergy, their will in likelihood be something you can eat. Like, you don't like spicy food, but your friends go to an Indian, get a calmer. You don't like Chinese... I don't like Chinese food, but if we go up to a Chinese restaurant, I can get dim sum.

It's fine. Yeah, Chinese takeaway I struggle with because MSG makes me literally throw up. But generally a Chinese takeaway will serve an omelet and I can have an omelet. Yeah. And they don't put MSG in an omelet because there aren't enough flavors there to need enhancing. So what's the point? It's just a waste of good MSG. Nibble and some prom crackers.

Yeah. It's fine, isn't it? There's always something. You just need to compromise and, like he says, try something different. 20 years. 20 years of going out for Shepard's Pie. also, she says we don't have a huge amount of money and we like to spend what we do have

on going out together. Stop wasting your money on going out for meals that you don't enjoy. If you want to spend your money on going out together, why don't you like pay for entrance to the zoo or an exhibition? Although I imagine he doesn't want to see any animals from abroad or any art, any foreigners. Just British

just Gilbert and George. I don't know. Why don't you go see a Ken Loach film? That seems up his street, except probably a little bit too thoughtful and sad. He probably just wants to see The King's Speech. Yeah. Again and again, and again.

Over and over. Love actually. He probably thinks that's girly. The quintessential British films. Now, I'm picturing him as being like a pure Neanderthal. He wouldn't see a rom-com because that'd be for women. Look, I think I'm so mad at Brexit Bill over here, because I was Brexit Bill. Why?

Yeah, remember at the wedding, my dad made a big deal about how I went on that holiday and only ate burgers the whole time. But I changed. I grew up, because you have to grow up and try new things. The example your dad gave of you trying new things, though, was broccoli, which I imagine Brexit Bill would probably tolerate. That's fine, as long as it's not cooked in any kind of spice or oil. As long as it's overcooked and dumped on a plate. Just boiled broccoli.

Just, yeah, boil it for a couple of hours. I like that. Someone had come down with me. We were watching earlier. She just threw, like, lamb and full carrots. And some stock into a pot and just cooked it for hours and hour. Yeah, and she's like,

oh, I'm just going to go and get ready while this cook. Let's see what people have to say, then. Someone said, definitely pick the restaurant when it's your celebration. Organise it yourself and make sure to talk about how excited you are to do something different and not boring. Leave him and get with Tom Hiddleston, who will take you out for nice meals. Creepily, though. Creepy as anything.

Tom Hiddleston? Are you talking about that video? the creepy video? Yeah. Yeah. It'll make you a nice breakfast. And it'll be sinister. Would you rather have the sinister Tom Hiddleston breakfast

or spend 20 years going out for Shepard's Pie somehow? The Sinister Tom Hiddleston breakfast? Because I can ask him what he was like working with Chris Hemsworth. For 20 years? For 20 years? Yeah. You have to have the Sinister Tom Hiddleston breakfast for 20 years. Or is he there?

Does he come around and make it every day? You live with him. Okay. Can I ask him about Marvel movies? You're going to have to ask him about everything. You've got 20 years together. That's Taylor Swift like. Have you met Carly Ray Jepson?

Taylor Swift and Carly Ray Jepson mates? I don't know. I don't think Carly Ray Jepson's part of her crew. This is what I went Tom to talk about. Yeah, that's good. What does Samuel Jackson like to work with? Nice. But actually this particular response on the thread,

imagine organizing your own celebration and then saying, I'm looking forward to something not boring. What a way to start a celebration on a weird, passive-aggressive and sour notes? Because her husband's boring and she needs to dump him. Yeah, he does sound... Cut out Tom Hilsson, go straight to Chris Hemsworth. He'll look after you.

Oh, someone said go somewhere that it's a buffet selection, like a cosmos-type place. No. No. Vito. No. No. I just... Am I being unreasonable? Helping your married D-D. Just canvassing opinions as I don't want to be an interfering mum. D.D. and her D.H. both work full-time.

D.D. gets into work about 7.30 a.m. and doesn't finish until after 7 p.m. Same goes for her D.H. They have no kids yet. Am I being unreasonable to offer to come in on a Friday and clean their house for free, so they have the weekend to relax. I am retired, so have plenty of me time. It's an adult D.D. who'd need to declare to the Russian government. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe rather than going round and fanning around in our house. Why don't you go on a cruise? Why don't you go on a Viking river cruise? Sure. What are your thoughts on this? Sounds like a nice gesture. I don't see why they

wouldn't want to have that. That's really interesting because my thoughts on this were if someone said to me, apropos of nothing, I have lots of me time. I would like to clean your flat. I'd be like, oh, okay, that comes across awfully judgmental. I didn't think there's anything wrong with the way that I lived. Thank you and goodbye. I don't think it's sentimental as stuff. All flats need to be cleaned? Yeah, I just think someone... I cleaned today and that wasn't a judgment on how we live. No, but it's, you live here. If unsolicited someone offered to clean, I just feel

like I would interpret that as them getting all up in my space and suggesting that I wasn't, I don't know, I used to live with someone whose Nana used to come around and clean, which I wasn't that comfortable with. I didn't want someone else's Nana, like, touching my stuff and looking around. So I was like, yeah, please don't clean my bedroom. She was like, yeah, yeah, I won't clean your bedroom. home one day. She was just hoovering my room and I was like, why are you in here? I find this very invasive, so maybe that's clouded my judgment. My grandma's very good at cleaning and when she'd come around when we were on holiday and like after the cats, she would also do the ironing

and she iron our socks and our underpants. Trying a crease into my jeans once. Down the front? Yeah. Nice. Did she try to crease into the front of the legs on your pants? Yes. Another thing that I would like to point out They have no kids yet Yeah, that's weird Yet makes me feel very uncomfortable Yeah, that's no absence But we don't know the context, maybe

She's looking for a kid to look after, to grandmother And in the absence of that The flat is the kid That is exactly how I interpreted it The flat is a child now That's totally how I read it Like, yeah, fair enough, they have no kids And maybe they're talking about how they would like kids

sometime imminently and therefore, yeah, it's a perfectly reasonable thing to say. She's like, maybe if I clean their flat, they'll say, oh, the flat's clean. They might have to listen to them wanging on about kids anymore. Maybe if the flat's clean, they'll have more time to, you know, generate some kids. Well, with that, shall we hear from the thread? Mm-hmm. Lots of people saying, yeah, that's great.

Then someone says, that's fine, she will snap your hands off. Are you hoping the relaxing may speed up the grandchild? Ugh! Oh, that's so intrusive. It's still going to, there's always going to be... Oh my God, I feel sick. The nine-month gestation period. That's pretty standard.

It's not going to speed that up. Can you imagine if someone offered to clean your house because they were hoping that it would mean that you would be quicker conceiving? I genuinely think that's the most intrusive and disgusting sort. Oh, where's the sense of boundaries on this thread? Still, still, if someone offered to do all, all the cleaning for us. I'd say yes. And if they think it's for that, let them think it.

No, see, I'm with this poster who says, it sounds a bit patronising to me and wanting to be over-involved in your DD's life. Surely now you're retired, it's time to start doing things for yourself, finding new hobbies and interests and not doing other people's cleaning. Well, yeah, I'd suggest that as well. But if they really at a loose end, you know, I don't want to do the vacuuming. I think the options are you either do the vacuuming or you whack a child out, though. No. Would you rather vacuuming or parenting?

Are they going to follow up on it? Are they going to ask? Are they going to say, look, I've done the vacuuming. How's it going? This person doesn't seem to understand boundaries the way that I do. So, yeah, very possibly. Oh, I'll just say, it's fine. But what if they want details?

If they want to know you're really trying? What if it's like, you know, like at the job centre, you have to show that you're for how I've many jobs. I want to do that. You have to fill in a thing. I want to fill in a thing. I want to fill in a thing. You only get your cleaning benefits

if you can show that you've been trying to conceive. You can still make it up. Secret. Name of probable grandchild, secret. Name of probable grandchild. Look, let's just do this one last bit that I wanted to read out. Am I being unreasonable?

our Am I Being Unreasonable podcast? Let us know what you think. Boo. Hello, hello! We'd like to draw your attention to our new Am I Being Unreasonable podcast hosted by Lucy Porter and Asma Amir. The first three episodes are now up

and feature Lucy and Asma discussing the dilemmas, modern etiquette problems and weird pieces of behaviour thrown up in our Am I Being Unreasonable boards. That's what we discuss. Plus, each week they drag in a celebrity guest, Ed Byrne, Mark Dolan and Tim Dowling among others.

We didn't bother it. asking for a quick fire you are being unreasonable you are not being unreasonable round that's our speed round basically it's our shot at seeing whether am i being unreasonable can translate successfully into podcast form it can given that quite a few other people were already trying it without so much as a buy your leave tusk we'd love to know what you think I ain't know we were supposed to ask why would we ask this thing where people have this baffling notion that monsnet is not a public forum. Like, those people who were mad the other week because there were adverts and this only feeds into this bizarre notion that mums that is somehow like being on a private WhatsApp group

where you're just like chatting to your mates. Like, I don't need to ask your permission. The fucking mackleroy's don't go to Yahoo to say like, hey, can we just have a chat about this? I'm sure. I need to stop comparing us to the mackleroy's. No, we are like the mackleys. I'm Travis. We can't both be Travis. The other two are good, too. I'll be Griffin because I'm under 30. And a media luminary. Sure.

Fine, but I'm under 30. It's just wound me up because so much of mum's net is people being absolutely mad because they feel like they posted a secret to a secret group that was all their secret friends and the Daily Mail picked it up. And it's really disingenuous to suggest that you should have to ask

to quote something off the internet when it's a public forum and it just feeds this notion that it's a really like safe private space when it isn't. And I think that's not fair if Moms Net to have done that to their contributors, whatever.

And so on that front, bastards, but also they toad stole our idea. They are unreasonable. Should we do one more speed round? Sorry, one more quick fire round. It's time for the quickfire round. Am I being unreasonable? Bryce-lip Lido on Mother's Day.

Is this a terrible idea? Don't think so. All the mothers will be indoors. Amma being unreasonable, next-door neighbour, and looking after her cat. Just look after the cats are great. We appreciate people looking after our cats. Amma being unreasonable? Relationship issues.

No, especially if you're not the person married to Brexit Bill. Amma being unreasonable to feel desperately sorry for Theresa May. Yes. With that, should we call it a day? Yes. Thank you for listening. Thanks for listening, everyone. Thanks for listening to our good, good podcast.

If you want to send us some threads or whatever, you can do so on Twitter at YAB unreasonable. We're available on Stitcher, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, cast box, Google podcasts. We're available in more places than their one is at present because we understand podcasting and they don't. Anchor. All these many places. So please have a look.

Thank you for listening. Bye. I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day when I felt the way that I do right now, right now, right now.