You Are Being Unreasonable - 048 - In which we sing some Creationist hymns

Episode Date: July 4, 2019

"If only we could utilise your gagging on an eggy struggle." Coming to you from the UK heatwave, we have some scalding hot takes from Mumsnet's AIBU board this week we spend this episode listening when people tell us who they are. In this episode, we overhear our Creationist neighbour shouting about Creationism at his wife in the garden, we ask at which jobs it is appropriate to wear flip-flops in the summer, we unravel the byzantine mysteries of a 'simple story' of two women and two ugly guys, we list the words we don't like, we do a close reading of 'Horrid Henry' and his sex cult, and we meet a woman who travels the boards talking about owning half her mum's house.

Everybody dance now. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Hello. Hello. Welcome to you are being unreasonable, a podcast about people being unreasonable on mumsnet.com. It's a heatwave. Heat wave, it's just one hot day and then one, like, eh, day? Well, with that, should we do our speed round? Am I being unreasonable to cut honeymoon short, heat wave hell?

Heat wave hell. Well, I guess if you're in mainland Europe, no, that's not unreasonable at all. Go home. It's more of a waste to stay on honeymoon than to leave. It's like the thing I say about food. Don't keep eating beyond the point where you're full because you'll ruin a good meal.

Don't stay on honeymoon beyond the point where you're too warm because you'll ruin a good honeymoon. Just go home. Go home. Am I being unreasonable to hide it from my family? Depends what you're hiding. A gun? Yes, that is unreasonable.

Am I being unreasonable to ask if being a nice person? Yields dividends? These thread titles, where they put the first half in it, so you have to click. Like, don't do clickbait on mums there. Yeah, don't make clickbait. Maybe I'm just particularly irate about this because my laptop is the slowest, biggest piece of shit,

and that might have been a good thread. bit. If I can't tell from the title, I'm not opening it. Yeah, you don't have time for that. Ain't nobody got time for this. You think about your allocation of Ramp very carefully. Exactly. Passer it out throughout the day. I do. And am I being unreasonable

to ask for your help about mother-in-law? Ugh. Mother's in-law, am I right? Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. It's also a thousand jokes. I did have a thought earlier where I was like getting a little stressed out was trying to make my laptop open stuff and every thread title this week is

like a cliffhanger of a title. I was like, sick of clicking in stuff. And I was going to just go to Google and search for Mumsnet, Am I Being Unreasonable? And then a keyword for all the ones that are the juiciest topics every time. Like, I was going to search for, Am I Being Unreasonable, Mumsnet, Mother-in-Lore? Am I being Unreasonable, Mumsnet, Bridesmaid?

Am I being Unreasonable, Mumsnet, Unprofessional? Yeah. And Am I Being Unreasonable Mumsnet, Fussy Eater? Hit all those good areas. Maybe I'll do that next time. But for now, let's do a full thread. Am I being Unreasonable. reasonable to think bare legs at work isn't unprofessional. I work in a non-customer

slash public-face enrol in an office. Today, as it was hot, I wore a nice knee-length a-line skirt and a nice t-shirt, all very respectable. Think white stuff style, with ballet flats. One of the more senior managers pulled me up and said that bare legs and a casual skirt weren't appropriate. She was wearing linen collots and flip-flops. In my last job, I would wear a maxi dress and sandals in the heat, but there was no formal dress code. I looked at the dress code for this workplace, and it's smart casual. Knee-length skirts and smart tops are in the acceptable column.

Flip-flops are not. Normally I'd wear a smartish work dress with tights, but it's just too sticky, and the office has poor ventilation. It's back on that heatwave nonsense. Back on that heatwave nonsense. The heat wave has brought out all the men managers. Oh yeah. I don't know why people think it's more important

that you put a pair of tights on than that you're able to get work done because you're not a huge amount of discomfort and stickiness. Yes, yes. What a cul-ups. Colots? They're like those shorts

that are so wide-leg that they look like they could be a skirt, but then you realise, oh no, they're shorts. Oh, hey, surprise shorts. They're part of the Brownie Guide uniform. That's the first time I came across the idea of collots. Brown collots. The brownie guides really weren't there for the fashion, were they? So they're fine.

Apparently so. Collots, fine, knee-lived skirts, not fine. Chowsers, we can assume, are fine. Yeah, flip-flops. Flip-flops, apparently fine. Collots are the same sort of length as a skirt, though. And so, has she got tights and flip-flops? Because that doesn't sound unprofessional, but it does sound minging.

I suppose the difference between the collops and the knee-level skirt is how you sit. If you sit where a wide-leg stands, fine and collars. Not fine in the Nelm skirt. Not fine in Nealenskirt. I mean, it is fine, just not in a professional, in this professional context. It's in an office. It's presumably it's under a desk. I mean, I feel like that does make a difference.

There'll be a desk obscuring her sitting there, open harbour. Yeah, a little privacy sheet. Legs of kimbo means legs in the air, doesn't it? Yeah. If you're sitting legs at Kimbo at work, you've gone too far. Yeah, that is unfair. You're too relaxed. It's unprofessional.

Jobs where having their legs would be unprofessional or otherwise bad. tights model Very good Your turn I was going to say Firefighter Yep that's fair I get your legs burnt

I heard some people the other day Talking about whether or not it's appropriate to wear shorts To do stand up Okay I didn't know that was a thing I think you should Given how hot Lee Evans

Seems to get on stage Oh I don't think that Liams off him Yeah but that's out of his face I don't think shorts would help I think he's as a doctor I'd cool him right down Cut him off at the knee, jorts.

I don't want to say Lee Evans with these big hot face in jorts running around. It wouldn't be hot then, because all the cooling, coolies gentle shins. He's saying the heat would escape before it rose as far as these big sweaty face. Precisely. I'm not really wonderful going on stage, but I assume the heat comes from below. Yeah. Like under-floor heating. Should we test this at the live show?

You can wear shorts, but also a balaclava, and see if that keeps you nice and cool in the facial area. No, I never wear shorts, so I never have to worry about bare legs at work. I don't wear shorts at home, I merely tolerate wearing shorts at the swim pool. Last night I did wear shorts to bed, but that's because it was 26 degrees at bedtime. You had to really go looking for those shorts as well, and also they're shorts that I bought you. Thanks. Yeah, but I'm sort of saying maybe you didn't want me to buy you shorts. I never wear shorts. Yeah, I came home with some shorts. Like the senior manager, I think bear legs are haphorrent.

Haphorrent. But I wouldn't say that's someone, because I don't actually care. Do you mean your own bare legs? Or if you saw someone else's bare legs? Oh yeah, don't care. My bare legs. Flipflops are unprofessional. Bear legs should have sheer tights or stockings on, in my opinion.

I think it looks smarter. As long as you're wearing socks with flip flops, it's fine. Special socks with a little toe bit, or are you just wedging the, sock into your toe. Just, you know, professional socks. Not socks with Homer Simpson riding a skateboard or something frivolous like that. What year do you think it is?

Black socks. Lots of people think that you should be wearing flesh-coloured tights all summer long. People on Mumsnet. Pointless. I don't know if people on Moms That are considerably older than I thought they were. And they're all mothers of people who are

older than me, I think, because I suspect that my own mother. would think that a lot of these views are outdated. So I don't know if they're more like the age of, you know, they're mums, but their child is 52. There's some really outdated views, especially around work where they're like, you should be wearing

stockings, for a start. Do people wear stockings as a matter of course? The only one I know who wears stockings as a matter of course is lovely, but she's extremely twee. She's very, like, homely, country living. And I think it's part of her twee persona. I don't think it's a thing that people generally

do as a matter of course. And then And they also have all these views about how you have to get to work and an hour more early so that you're ready to go on the dot of nine, all present and correct. Yeah. All sorts of things that just seem terribly outdated, and tight seems like a particularly outdated thing to be so hit up about. Yeah. Surely being professional comes down to how well you do your job ultimately.

Yeah, yeah, it really doesn't matter what you were. And I think that's being reflected in the current demographics of people going into the workplace. Yeah. Someone has said that flip-flops are a health and safety. issue. Why? There are a health and safety issue if you work in like... Yeah, if you're a firefighter, like I said. Yeah, or a woodwork teacher. Yeah. Yeah. Or a footballer. Yeah. Yeah, because that go fly... If you went to kick a ball, that go flying off, you'd hit someone in the stands. Best case scenario, you connect with the ball

and break your toes. Yeah, because that... Because you're supposed to be kicking the ball, but that's a heavy ball. And they come at you really fast when people are playing well. It's not like... They come out you too fast. I think there should be a speed limit on balls in general. I probably wouldn't employ someone who turned up to interview bare-legged. Is that allowed? I feel like someone needs to go reporting this person to someone. If I missed out on a job that I was the most qualified candidate for, because on a day where it was 35 degrees I didn't put on a pair of flesh-coloured tights, I would be so relieved not to have to work for that miserable old cow.

We're all bare-legged under our choosers. Or under our tights. Makes you think. Or, some hussies just under their skirts, bare-legged. I know, what do they think this job is? What would have been the appropriate length of the skirt? I don't know, because a maxie skirt seems like something you'd only wear to a formal ball, a buffet or a cruise, or a beach. Why if she'd worn three-quarter length shorts, like Kevin Smith? Oh, I was thinking more like 80s pedal pushers.

Either, either. It'd be great if the dress code was, you must look like Kevin Smith. Kevin Smith. Yeah, just a lot of trench coats then. Yeah, but in this further, obviously that's not appropriate, so that's when you reveal your shorts. Yeah, your big baggy shorts. Your big baggy shorts.

Am I being unreasonable to be a little perturbed to have discovered that my next-door neighbour is a creationist? D.H. overheard our next-door neighbour having a row with his wife in the back garden yesterday. He was insisting, belligerently, that the earth is 6,000 years old, Stephen Hawking was an idiot and the moon landing was faked

his wife was cackling and saying things like, but it's basic GCSE physics. For the avoidance of drip feed he's a dower, ill-mannered git who bellows at his kids all weekend and Lexi's dog shit on our drive. Goodness. It's tough. You never know who's a creationist.

There's a lot going on in this post. I don't wear badges. I don't see how the name of being a creationist is even... It's not even the issue in the post. It seems like the argument in the back garden about basic physics seems a bit more of a breach of social etiquette. Yeah, and I would be concerned for this woman who's been married long enough to have kids with this man and has only now discovered that he's a creationist, but she doesn't seem bothered herself, so why is the neighbour bothered?

She's cackling away. But it's basic physics. She's like a witch. Rude Well, witch's cackle Lots of people cackle Hyena's cackle Great

I don't see how it's Better than being a witch I don't know why I said that Just going about your business as well Like pottering about And then suddenly You know you're having a screaming row

The earth is 6,000 years old Rha What about dinosaur bones Put there to test us Fake Fake news Fake news There's a lot of busy bodies

On Moms net There's a lot of busy bodies, but this person seems like a real weird... Why does the dog poo in the drive? Almost I got so of anything. Like, creationists more like let their dogs poo on people's drives. Look, even if the neighbour is a creationist, which it sounds like he is. Yeah. But only one of the neighbours, because the wife does not sound like a creationist.

And I seem that if he's bellowing at his kids all weekend, it's because they're going around saying things like, but what about evolution, dad? No! Get to your room! It's like the Earth is millions of years old. Yeah. Yeah. But what impact does it have if one man in the house next door is a creationist? I don't really know our neighbours in this building.

No. I know a few of them. But if any of them are creationists, I don't know. It's not like they're blaring their creationist songs out all the time. That would be annoying. Do creationists have songs? I don't know. Are they just like regular songs that have done a creationist version of the lyrics?

And God Created the earth All they need to watch out for copyright Because melodies are still copyright Unless it's a legitimate parody Like Weird Al I got to assume that these creationists Are not Weird Al level parodists

How do you decide Like at what point So if they make a song that's kind of A riff off an existing song But they earnestly believe what it says they can't claim it's a parody. Is that how it works? Like, who decides? Or is it just, is the threshold, is it as good as Weird Al? I think it's, is that the flowcharm? Yeah. Is it an existing melody? Yes, no. Yeah. If yes, is it as good as Weird Al, yes, no. If no,

straight to jail. And that's a high bar, because Weird Al has been working consistently for like 20 years. That's true. And keeping up the output, you know. I mean, but that's a different bar to how good it is. I'm not saying that Weird Al isn't good, I just say it needs to be working It's the hardest working man in showbys Quantity, not quality there It doesn't impact you You know, unless the dog's shitting in the drive

Is a religious issue Like God told him to do it Yeah Who cares Someone's come along and said I'm a creationist I don't recognise myself in these caricatures Funnily enough

Yeah but if someone starts a thread About disliking something that you are They're not going to give a reason I don't recognise myself in any of the caricatures of any woman that ever gets posted on Mumsnet because I've never wandered around calling myself XX goody womb have her

but you know just you don't in fact if someone posts something on Mumsnet and you don't recognise yourself don't comment about it just feel pleased inside have a little inward smile close the tap

make a cup of tea yeah yeah should we do a different thread Am I being unreasonable mum called boyfriend ugly Am I being unreasonable here? Simple story. Diem and I were out in a social setting. She'd messaged me pestering and wanted me to come and rescue her because some guy was talking to her. I found her, rescued her and then she started telling me it's someone she actually really liked,

although he's married, and how much she fancied him when she'd worked with him somewhere. I'd just made a comment that I thought she didn't know him because she wanted to be rescued and thought that suited because my first thought was, As if she's sat with that ugly guy. I was probably being unreasonable to make a nasty comment. I am aware of that. But it was more light-hearted about the situation that I'd had to go trek round to find her and save her.

And she's recently met my boyfriend, getting serious. And her next comment was, that's exactly what I thought about your boyfriend. I said, hey! And she said, Don't take the mick about people I fancy and I won't have to be honest then. I get what I said was unreasonable, but still.

It's hardly the same as outright saying that about the person I'm in a relationship with in a really honest way as me saying it about some married guy she asked me to save her from, but allegedly fancied at some point. Maybe I shouldn't care. I mean maybe. Maybe we shouldn't care about any of this, but here we are. Here we are. You cared enough to post on Am I being unreasonable? You didn't care enough to put paragraphs in, which made it very difficult to read. It's not a long post, but it's not paragraphed. Paragraphed, people. Can't emphasise this.

enough. I think your post is ugly. You're supposed to be more aesthetically pleasing. It had paragraphs. We can't emphasise this enough. If you're going to post on the Am I Even Reasonable Board, please use paragraphs and proper punctuation. It makes our lives easier. Yeah. And we need this board for... It's our livelihood. This podcast

is all we have. It is. It's not. Please, no one worry about us. No, it's fine. There's a lot that goes on in this post. Yeah. She starts off by saying it's a simple story. I'm inclined to disagree. Okay, timeline of events. Her and her mom were out in a social setting. I don't know what setting you'd be out in with your mother

if it wasn't a social setting, but okay. DM&I. Oh, so they were out at the same time. Yeah. It's not like she came out together. They were just out. No, they were out together. She goes to the bar.

When she comes back, mom's talking to this. Let's just say normal looking men. Sure. Normal looking man. Neutral man. But while she's at the bar, she gets a message from her mom saying, come and rescue me, because some guy is talking to me. So then she finds her.

She rushes over. Yeah, and that's when she rescues her. Hey, come with me. We've got to go do that thing. And then that's when the mum says, actually, I really liked him, although he is married, and I fancied him when we worked together at some point. Okay, inconsistency. This is what the detective sees upon. You mentioned you needed rescuing here, but then later you said you actually fancied him. So why did you need rescuing? But then the daughter, who I thought was the detective in this version of events,

because the daughter is behaving like a little detective, but no, the detective is like a, a non-player character here, the daughter's like, as if she sat with that ugly guy. And then the daughter says that she was being unreasonable to make a nasty comment. If she says, I was being unreasonable to make a nasty comment, she knows it was a nasty comment. It's not like she was being, as she then says,

light-hearted about the situation. Yeah, both mother and daughter are very inconsistent. They are, aren't they? Inscrutable family here. So daughter thinks the guy's ugly and says so to the mother who wanted to be rescued, but also fancied him. Yeah, and then the mother turns around and says,

well, that's what I thought about your boyfriend. Well, that's bitchy. There's no need for that. And then the mum says, well, don't take the make about people I fancy and I won't have to be honest then. Jesus, this social setting, it's nice housing in a social setting,

just, it's gone tits up. It sounds horrible. Also, the mother sounds like a real piece of work. The mother just wants to see, like, the mother's there trying to get attention to that someone's flirting with her. She's like, oh, I'll get my daughter to come and look at someone flirt with me.

See you what's happening. Motive. Yeah. And then she says, oh, well, if you hadn't done that, I wouldn't have to be honest. So she'd probably spent a whole lifetime being quite unpleasant

than saying, I'm just a very honest person. Like Jeremy Clarkson. You get a lot of very honest people on mum's net. They've got no boundaries and they're really nasty. Jeremy Clarkson just says what's on his mind. I think the mother's Jeremy Clarkson?

Do you think Jeremy Clarkson was there? Mrs. Clarkson. Mama Clarkson. No, I think the mother is Jeremy Clark. The person that they used to work with is, I don't know, Richard Hammond. Richard Hamsterhampton. Yeah. Yeah.

So the daughter turns up, her mum, Jeremy Clarkson, is there flirting with Richard Hammond. She rescues the mum. Like, oh, I'm sorry about Richard Hammond. Then the mum's like, no, your boyfriend's a minger. Look at your ugly boyfriend, though. And then the daughter's like, what the hell is going on there? I don't understand. And the mum's like, I'm just very honest.

And the ugly boyfriend is the other one from Top Gear. Yeah. formerly of Top Gear, after Clarkson assaulted a BBC producer. Yeah, it's got a new name now. Now it's on Amazon. Yeah, whatever it's called, after Jeremy Clarkson assaulted a BBC producer. He was just being honest. He was being very honest about how he felt about his lukewarm meal.

Yeah. Very honest person. Oh, yeah, and of course at some point it turns out this guy is married as well, which is a weird extra detail. The mother does sound slightly unbearable. She's there flirting with some married man. Flitting with a married man, who she liked, but also wanted to be rescued from... She's supposed to be out socialising with her daughter?

Yeah. So, a little bit of me wondered if the daughter's got a boyfriend and the mother's a bit jealous that the daughter's getting all this attention. They need to resolve this, and the only way to resolve it is to hire a mediator who will then judge their respective men and see which one is ugly and which one is not. Do you mean a mediator or do you mean a judging panel, like a misworld competition, but instead it's just the men that the women in this family fancy. I meant from like a mediating service like ACAS.

But, you know, the judging panel sounds just as good. Yeah, so it can be like the boyfriend, the person that the mum did or did not want rescuing from. They can do the swimsuit round. That'd be great. Okay, but I don't really have trucks with bare legs in this context. Well, okay, the swimsuits can be swimsuits. They can wear collots. They can wear scuba diving outfits.

Oh yeah And they'll measure who looks best in a scuba diving outfit Yep, good, good Yeah, lots would still show off a bit of leg That's a problem in it Yeah Even jorts I mean, I've really got no idea of what's going on here

I feel like everyone in this is extremely unreasonable It's very confusing And I think we can all agree It's not a simple story As their person suggested I would love to see a complex person from this A complex story from this person Except they wouldn't paragraph it

So I'd never be able to break down what was going on. Can you please, you've got half an hour, can you please summarize Memento for me, please? Please don't write in the character of your mother. Oh, you've already done it. Okay. So then for some reason, this ugly guy has got tattoos all over his body. Oh, I'd actually love it if the O.P. just got all the most complicated stories of all time and turn them into stories about her mum. Inception, but with her mum.

The prestige, but with her mum. Yeah, I think it'd be brilliant. Of her Christopher Nolan films. But with her mum. Your mum's a Christopher Nolan film. That'd be a good insult for her mum. Sure. Your mum begins.

Your mum begins dating an ugly guy who's married. Bird. Yeah. Wouldn't it be a bit weird? if you were like, here's my boyfriend and your mum was like, well, he's dishing. That's not what you want, is it? He's a bit of a looker. Not ideal.

They can tell you later, maybe. No. I don't have a mother-daughter relationship. Okay, but if you introduced me to your dad and he'd been like, well... Wray. Yeah, like, that'd be weird. Because boundaries are important. Yeah.

But people are moms that have no boundaries, and they don't seem to understand age-appropriate things either. Like, there's a thread running at the moment. where loads of women are just like, I'm 65, and I think Stormsie's really hot. Oh, yeah, we tweeted about this one. Yeah, we did. That woman tweeted three pictures, only two of them from Stormsy. Then said that it was an honest mistake,

and it was his manager Toby, which is not his manager's name. When can we please start judging men based on their talents rather than their looks? Can we as a society get to that point? You're doing a funny bit about sexism, but given that Stormsy is a bit, black man and the way that people on mum's let other him, I think your bit is actually quite

valid at face value. Yeah. So, yeah. So there's that. There we go, managed to get some politics in. You know, I just love to mix irony and sincerity. That is your jam. Someone says, why can't I ever have ridiculous fights like that with my mum? Sounds a lot more fun than arguing over the builder's quote, I own half her house. That sounds like you've just come. I hope this person turns up on every thread trying to find a way it can be about how they own half their mum's house. Like, someone's like, oh yeah, I wondered if anyone's got any recommendations for the best seasonal veg and they're like, well, obviously if you buy seasonal veg, that saves money

so you can put more into home improvements, which is important for me and my mum as I own half her house. Like, do you think children should be at the pub? No, I think children should be in their homes if you have a home. Some of us have a home. I own half my mum's home. I'm sorry I had to come into work in this knee-level skirt. My mum owns half my skirt.

I don't know. I think I have a lot of boundaries, and maybe I got that from my mum. I can't imagine that's going out socialising and getting into a scenario like this. No. We'd be more likely to go and have a nice dinner together and not go off independently to find men we used to work with

to call ugly. Yeah. I don't generally go around calling people ugly. No, you're missing out. It sounds like great fun. It's a great family bonding activity. I don't think I see people like that. It's like that spread months and months ago where that one was like, I saw a man, everyone would agree he was a three. What are you on about everyone would agree he was a three?

People think like that about people. There's people I'm attracted to and people I'm not attracted to, but I wouldn't because I was to call them ugly. Someone would have to be exceptionally unpleasant for me to want to mention that they were ugly. I do have a... I would use ugly to apply to a person's character more than I would, their face. I would use it about their face if they'd done something that made me dislike their character, but I have much wider mean strength than you,

as evidence by the amount of times you have to edit out, me having a dig about people on this podcast. But like, if someone's never done anything to me, I don't think I'd take it upon myself to be like, who was that, I'll go? Yeah. Am I being unreasonable about the word horrid? I've seen this on about four different threads in the last couple of days. Am I being unreasonable that it gives me the rage?

Terry Pratchett said it best in the Hogfather. That's horrid. Horrible, thought Susan. The word is horrible. Horrid is a childish word selected to impress nearby males with one's fragility if I am any judge. She knew it was unkind and counterproductive

with her to think like that. She also knew it was probably an accurate observation, which only made it worse. I don't think I've encountered it in the real world, save for in some of Enid Blythens more saccharine efforts. But suddenly it seems it's invading Mumsnet. It's so twee and prim. It's one of

those words that immediately changes my whole perception of the post, regardless of what else it says. Are I being unreasonable to have such a visceral reaction? What other words give people instant rage? Digitalisation. That's not a word. Utilise? Yeah, just use.

Use is fine. Reflexive pronouns when there's no reason. Yep. If you could just give that to myself? Yeah, and I'll hand that to herself. Oh, I hate that. Brash. Brash. What's wrong with brash? I don't know, I just don't like the sound.

Is it like if I don't like the double G sound in the middle of words, like eggy, struggle? That double G sound, it makes the same feeling in my throat as gagging, which incidentally is all GY sounds. So it probably comes from some sort of thing like that. I hate it. Gagging on an eggy struggle. Oh, I'm sorry, we're going to have to cut this podcast short while I go to be sick. If only we could utilize your gagging, going and eggy struggle. Yeah, I could be sick on mic so that we'd have a digitalized version of it.

No. Hoisted by my own partard. Yeah, I've just did that to upset yourself. Using reflexive pronouns, when it's not time for a reflexive pronoun, makes people sound like call centre managers and estate agents, and that's horrible snobbery from me, but I stand by it, and I'm not backing down. A lot of these can be thrown into the class of words that people use to sound, cleverer than they are.

Yeah. Like, utilise and digitalisation. Yeah, and it just, it doesn't work. No? No, and it's transparent what's going on there. But Horrid. I blame Horrid Henry. I don't know anything about Horrid Henry.

I don't know anything about Horrid Henry either. I was going to get into this bit where we joke about Horrid Henry, but we don't know anything about him. I think he's a dog. I thought he was a kid. Oh. I thought he was like a messy-haired kid. I think I'm thinking of Clifford, the big red dog.

I might be thinking of Dennis. menace to be honest. A kid with messy hair could be Dennis the menace, couldn't it? Let's have a look at horrid Henry. Clifford the horrid duck. While I'm looking up Horrid Henry, this post, I think, is in itself horrid. Just because there's a word you don't like. There's a lot of words that I don't like. It comes up a lot of mums that and people like, which words give you the rage. And then someone always comes along and says, the rage makes me very angry. No one says the rage. And then people get really irate because there's a lot of things that come down to, like, regional dialect.

Like, I'm well aware that reflexive pronouns use when it's not a reflexive pronoun thing. If you're a middle manager, I don't like it. If you're from Northern Ireland, I appreciate that's your regional dialect. I'm not racking on you. Like, that's fine. Yeah.

And it gets nasty. And then posting a thing from Terry Pratchett to back herself up when it's just a bit... Well, I wanted to... ...about someone called Susan who knows that they're being unkind. Well, yeah, I wanted to do a textual reading on this Terry Pratchett. quote, because it's been a while since I read Discworld, but I think Susan is the daughter of

death, like the Grim Reaper. Right. And Susan's quite fastidious and anal and does all the kind of death admin stuff. Okay. So she's supposed to be a bit prim and pinnickety. Yeah. She likes things just so. So would you say that she's not necessarily an aspirational character for someone who wants to just be cool. No, she's the daughter of death. The adopted daughter of death. But still, I don't think these are Sir Terry's own words.

Yeah. I think these are just words that you put into the mouth of a character. Yeah. There are lots of characters in things who are not aspirational. Yeah. You don't go around quoting them all the time, do you?

I mean, people do. Lots of stuff we've got wildly out of hand, like how all those MRAs are like, oh, Tyler Durgeon. It's like, oh man, you really misunderstood the book. No, it's not even. They didn't get it at all. And Tyrion Lannister, like everyone, you know,

wears T-shirts with Tyrion Lannister quotes on it. Tyrian's not a good dude, like especially in the books. Yeah. He's a vicious, manipulative, nasty little man. Yeah, but I guess maybe some people want to project that image. Maybe that's some people telling you who they are. When they tell you who they are, listen. Yeah.

If they tell you on a T-shirt, listen, if they tell you in a Mumsnet post that they are a perniquity girl from a Cherry Pratchett book, you know, to steer clear of them. If they argue with their wife in the garden about being a creationist, listen. If it's your mum and she texts you to show off that a man's flirting with her, listen. If your manager tells you that bare legs at work are unprofessional, listen. Yeah, don't listen as in take it on board. Just appreciate that your manager is shit.

Get the insights on the character. Yeah, so like they've said this and they've posted it here and it just feels a bit like a way to tear some women down. Like people on mum's not saying, oh, it's horrid. A lot of Tweed and Prim language comes. into mums net and it's like I always say it about people saying they're cross with adults I'm like adults don't get cross with each other cross is a word that you say for children yeah so people are moms like I was cross with a child I'm like yeah absolutely because you're in

the context of childhood yeah a lot of people will be spending quite a lot of their days speaking to small children so if they want to use twi and prim words they'd rather say it was horrid than it was a fucking shit show I think because yeah I think they're on shaky ground criticizing Eneed Blyton as Tui and Prim and Sacrin, and also quoting Terry Pratchett, who, you know, isn't as Tweet and Prim as Enid Blyton, but it's still pretty Tui. I've never read New Terry Pratchett, and lots of people will tell me now that I should. But you watch some of Good Omen's when I was watching it, um... Yeah.

A few weeks ago, and that's by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, and that's Tui as fuck. Yeah. Like very much so, it's supposed to be. Yeah. And it's sort of a commentary on Tweeners. But it's still very Tui. The point where it lost me was very early on, where I thought it was going to be, like, cool and funny and silly,

and then there were loads of, like, countryside kids having a countryside childhood, and I was like, this is propaganda for big countryside, I'm going. It's supposed to be a parody of, like, you need lighter. So it is doing that affected tween us. But it's also, it does it very well, because Pratchett was quite tweed. People and Moms that absolutely love Pratchett. There's loads of Pratchett us usernames. Like, loads of Pratchett usernames.

A lot of them are turfs, and then people have said, I think Terry Pratchett would really appreciate this, but... No, I like Terry Pratchett, but he's Tweed. Not as Tweed as Blighton. Well... But there's a spectrum with, you know, Brett Est and Ellis on one end and you can blighton on the other. I feel like they actually come together somewhere.

That spectrum becomes a circle where they meet back up at white supremacy. I'm going to make a diagram of this. I'm going to tweet it without context from the Yaboo account before this is released. Horridge Henry is a kid. He's a kid with messy hair and he does look a little bit like Dennis the Menace insofar as he's just a little boy with messy hair

He's just a drawing of a boy Sure I don't know that you can say he's a drawing of a boy Because so is Dennis the Menace Yeah These are all just drawings Yeah exactly They're just drawings of boys

Well Horrid Henry has all the hallmarks Of a horrid boy Because he's got a whoopie cushion And a catapult Yeah that's traditional Traditional horrid But I don't think those things

Make a boy horrid I think that's really unkind. That's just childhood fun. What should he have instead? Having Henry's loud and funny and has a talent for getting into trouble. He's the leader of a gang, so, you know, gang warfare. The Purple Hand Gang, that sounds like some sort of sex cult. I don't think he should be leading a gang.

Gang violence is, you know, a blight on our streets. Yeah. Let's meet more characters. Let's see if we can work out which characters all of the people from this thread are. All right, the one's listed on the Howard Henry website, hurriedenry.com. Our mum, dad, hurried Henry, perfect Peter, moody Margaret, rude Ralph, sour Susan. Sour Susan. Can we have a look at the description of Sour Susan? Sour Susan is Moody Margaret's best friend, even though they're always rowing.

Like the mother and daughter? Yeah. But the pair is still as thick as thieves, and Susan is part of Moody Margaret's secret club, the rivals of the Purple Hand Gang. I can't get over the Purple Hand Gang. It just sounds really sordy. together they're determined to make Horrid Henry's life and misery his whole life you're only kids move on it's all right so sour so sour the representation of women in this seems a bit terrible moody margaret and sour susan miss battle axe and mum

these are the types of there are four types of women in this world mum miss battlex moody margaret and sour susan tag yourself Let's hear from this fresh You're being unreasonable Using slightly more unusual words Makes the use of language infinitely more interesting That said, I cannot bear the word Mucous

Mucous is a very functional word though It's not like someone to be using the word Mucous as an alternative to something else That's supposed to be horrid as well Yeah But it's describing mucous Same with Puss Exactly

Vile To me Vile means something intrinsically disgusting abhorrent, totally a redeemable. My mum uses it about anything she slightly dislikes, and it really pisses me off. Vile. Vile. I was going to say, I hate the word grim.

Oh, I mean, these are just... This does just feel like everyone's getting together to slag off words they see on threads, and it seems very mean-spirited. Horrid was good enough for Shakespeare to use more than once, as in not in the legions of horrid hell. Brackets, Macbeth. Shakespeare, man.

my bad. I know he invented loads of words, like, thanks to him we have the word majestic, which is great. It's a word that you only ever see used in the context of, like, period dramas and off-licences, so that's a great boon. But, come on now.

Well, he gets a lot of kudos for inventing all these words, but he just wrote them down, as someone whose works have survived. He probably just heard someone use it. That's a very good point. He probably just heard someone use it, his works have survived the test of time in a way that other works from the period haven't

so it's not like he invented it you're just the only one that's survived so it's like that's the earliest possible usage Shakespeare did this Shakespeare gets way too much time and attention anyway like at school we had to do a Shakespeare play every single year every day

felt that way and I quite liked Shakespeare but no wonder people don't want to engage with English lessons or the theatre if they think it's all just Shakespeare and they're having to read it. Plays are meant to be seen and plays aren't just Shakespeare. Oh, but I mean also

well done this person for enjoying it. Good on you, whatever. But just because Shakespeare used the word doesn't mean it's a good word. Yeah. Should we do one more speed round? Am I being unreasonable to be fuming at unnecessarily loud neighbours? Yeah, arguing about creationism and Stephen Hawking. Am I being unreasonable to think Kylie is bloody brilliant? No, Minogue? No.

Am I being unreasonable to ask if audiobooks devices without a camera exists? It's not unreasonable to ask, never to ask. Is there not a general advice forum on Mum's Net? Yeah, there is. Why do people frame these advice questions as Am I Being Unreasonable all the time? Because everything gets more traffic, but I think it's a bit chicken and egg at this point. No one posts on the general forums, they only post on Mum's Net, so people only go to, oh sorry, am I being unreasonable?

so people only go to Am I being unreasonable and it's become a bit circular people get very annoyed about it They've also introduced this new feature where you can vote on whether or not something's unreasonable and I saw one earlier where there was no Am I being unreasonable in the thing but they turned on voting and people were like

What do you want us to vote for? Like what? We all know that you can't hold a yes-no referendum if there's no clear question Am I being unreasonable to not go to work tomorrow No? No, I don't go to work tomorrow. Maybe none of us should.

Can we declare a bank holiday? Yeah! Yeah! July day! July day! Yeah, we've got the Aver Being on Reasonable Live show on the 15th of August at the chapel playhouse at 8.30pm. Yep.

Please do come along to that. It'll be really good fun. There'll be a raffle. I need to stop saying there'll be a raffle until I know for sure that there will be a raffle. Tickets available from the Camden Fringe website. And also, I am doing a show with my dad. It's two separate shows in the same hour,

so it's not a show together on the 1st of August as part of the Camden Fringe also at the Chapel Playhouse we'll tweet the information for that so do come along if you enjoy your Thursdays at the Chapel Playhouse

we've got two coming up in August whoop whoop yeah thank you for listening thanks bye fantastic and I never felt as good as how I do right now except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day

when I felt the way that I do right now right now right now