You Are Being Unreasonable - 049 - In which we advertise our little podcast on Scientology forums

Episode Date: July 18, 2019

"They think that inviting someone to a wedding is akin to punching them in the face." We're in the run-up to Fringe season now and we're practicing for our live show by... well, doing what we always do: looking at threads of Mumsnet's AIBU board and chatting about them. This week, we determine who is and is not a table-nabber and outline the plans for a new cinematic franchise, Rogue Dad starring Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx, we discuss the politics of using a giftcard to split a restaurant bill and how to burn through £10,000 on giftcards like Brewster's Millions, we talk about texting intimate details of your life to a stranger you met in a shop and ask the eternal question, What Would Tommy Wiseau Do?, and we discover that non-human entities and abstract concepts can be 'cheeky fuckers' and ask if weddings are CF.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when they're prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that. Hello.

Hello. Welcome to You Are Being Unreasonable, a podcast, about people being unreasonable on mumsnet.com. Yep. We're spreading, hells, words getting out about our little podcast. We have picked up a lot of new listeners recently. So if you're a new listener, firstly, I realise that we never introduce ourselves. I'm Hells.

I'm Simon. And secondly, thank you for listening. I hope you're enjoying it. And do let us know if you have any thoughts or opinions, unless they're not very kind, and then keep them to yourself. We went to the Bill Murray Comedy Club last night to see Luke McQueen. We did. It was brilliant. Name drops. Um, and we found a little Camden Fringe brochure and there, the bottom of the page, our little podcast. Yeah, but the other people

on the same page as us have paid loads of money to have extra big pictures. So we're the only one with a small picture. So it looks like we've deliberately asked for a tiny picture, because we're the only ones with the regular size. I feel like there must be some sort of metaphor in there. I don't know what it is. Everyone else has decided to go big or go home, but we were just like, well... Nah, we're not big. No. It's a little podcast.

We are just a little podcast. 49 episodes. Yeah. We should do something special for 50. Yeah. We'll work it out. Will we? I don't know.

Just put a lot of pressure on ourselves. Yeah, Thursday 15th of August at the Chapel Playhouse in London. Woo! Woo! Let's begin with our speed round. Am I being unreasonable to hate it when people sing? No. We all hate it when people sing, except Sheneid O'Connor.

Am I being unreasonable to want to want to want to want to be reasonable to want to want to a clean bed of my own at 35. No, you should have been asking for this years ago. Treat yourself. Am I being unreasonable to ask you to read a host's description before you book on Airbnb? No, but you really shouldn't be able to do this yourself. And last one for this speed round. Am I being unreasonable to wonder why people are so inconsiderate?

No, people are inconsiderate. How inconsiderate? Pushing past me on the tube. Push, push, push, shove. Telling me to not stand on that side of the escalator, running me over in the middle of the road. In at least one of those examples, I suspect you were being inconsiderate. Let's do a thread, shall we? Am I being unreasonable?

Are weddings? CF? F any new listeners, you haven't picked this up, CF means cheeky fucker, and it's not like, oh, cheeky, it's like, no, you're very bad. Are weddings cheeky fucker? Carry on. My cousin is getting married scene. I'm not invited but my parents are I've actually only ever been to one wedding in my life when I was about eight

me and my mum were chatting about it and she says the couple have asked for money instead of gifts I asked how much they're giving and she said £100. My parents are working class but live comfortably but that still seemed a lot to me and got me thinking what if every guest gave £100 what if there are a hundred plus guests

That's £10,000 they'll be getting For all I know, it could be a cheap wedding So getting married will make them a profit Is it normal to ask for money instead of gifts when you get married? And it's £100, a usual amount to give? And we're being unreasonable in thinking it sounds very C-F-er-ish to me But then I eloped and wouldn't dream of spending thousands on a wedding, let alone asking for guests or money or even gifts.

Wow, so they really do mean are all weddings cheeky fuckerish? Yes. Are all weddings, all sort of Western weddings, the Western tradition of a wedding where you have people who give you gifts because you're getting married to a partner you wouldn't spend the rest of your life with?

Yeah. Are they all cheeky fuckerish? And have they always been cheeky fucker? Yeah, that's what they're asking. I mean, it is by definition somewhat indulgent to have a day that's all about you and to have people come and celebrate you and to say, you're going to come and celebrate me

and also please give me money and gifts. I don't think people say, you're going to come and celebrate me. You sent an invitation. It's a mum's net trope that you say. It's an invitation, not a summons, when someone's inexplicably fuming about being invited to go to someone's wedding.

But it's one day. Yeah. In, you know, ideally in your life, I don't care if you want to get married multiple times. You don't care if I want to get married multiple times. Not you. Yeah, ideally you wouldn't get married again. Ideally, ideally.

If you die in mysterious circumstances, then... Yeah, and I've already written a note, playing you. Yeah. Of all charges. Exactly. That's what everyone does in a healthy marriage. Yeah. If anything happens to me, there's a note in our desk that says,

Hells didn't do it. Yeah. Because I trust her that much. Exactly. Yeah, so this person seems to think all weddings are cheeky fuckers. but then they mentioned they eloped and eloping is still a wedding and i think that could be considered a bit cheeky because what if people wanted to share your joy

yeah i've learned from mumsnet that no one ever wants to share anyone's joy people on mums net absolutely detest going to weddings they think that inviting someone to a wedding is akin to punching them in the face i just find it baffling to call weddings cheeky fuckers i didn't know it could apply to non-human concept me neither I didn't know it could apply to non-humans. So this is blowing mum's net wide open for me. This is what we should have done for the 50th episode. I do think now that they've started the ball rolling on anything can be C.F.

I think it's a slippery slope. By next episode, all the entire board will just be people saying, our cushions, C, F. Cushions. Is train C.F? Our carpet C.F. Our sky C.F. Exactly.

Also, like, it sounds like the parents, this poster's parents, are quite willingly giving this gift. I don't know why the poster's so mad about it. A hundred pounds? Oh, I'm working class, but very well off. People who go on about how they're working class but well off are so tedious. Oh, my bad. Yeah, I don't see having to bring class into it in any way.

I was going to say, though, having brought class into it, I think that the well-off working class people are more inclined to be quite generous because they possibly haven't had the opportunity to be able to spend money like that before or there's an element of just proving they can. Whereas like there is more of a trope of middle-class people being tight. Yeah, I think that's fair to say. So maybe that's also a factor. Maybe it's that their parents, this person's parents really want to give £100 because

they haven't had the opportunity to be as, you know, generous with money before because they haven't had the disposable income or maybe they've got a chip on their shoulder and they're like how we have a hundred pounds just to throw at your wedding we don't know why but it's a choice the parents are making so i don't think you can say that all weddings are cheeky fuckers because of that i wouldn't have opened the class door but you're right there's interesting stuff behind it yeah interesting motivations behind it yeah i i think bringing class into the post was unnecessary but now they have i do think that there might be significance to it yeah Mark Fisher is right, we do need to talk about class.

But not exclusively. No. Because when we talk exclusively about class, it's so that men who are not working class can talk about how oppressed they are because one parent grew up near a mining town. I mean, if every guest give a hundred pounds and there are a hundred guests

and you need to get a fox across the river. That's exactly where I was just going with it. High five. High five. Yeah, and then the fact they say, oh, but maybe it's a cheap wedding. So maybe they're going to be in profit. But that's assuming that if you have 100 guests,

I assume the parents are giving this gift of £100 as a gift from the couple, right? Yeah. So that would be from two guests. Yeah, so that's £50 a guest. So that's £50 per guess. So we end up with £5,000. And then there might be people who are taking children. And so a child isn't going to give a gift of £50.

Like if you invite, let's say you invite a couple who have two children, they're not going to bring £400 as their gift, are they? So if they still give $100, which is generous, then that's £25 per person. They might not keep this money anyway. Why, do you think they might give it all the way? Well, you might give something to charity? Yeah. We had a wedding.

We did have a... For our marriage. We had a cheeky fucker. It was a core part of our marriage, I felt, the wedding. Yeah. Yeah, an important event in our marriage. marriage. I think that makes more sense. An important event in our marriage. A core part of our marriage. Feels like decades from now. We'll still be clinging to that day. It's all we have. That and this

podcast help us. Come to our live shows. Looking to episode 400. If you've been unreasonable. Mom's a net. It's long gone. How would we ever get to episode 400? We're bi-weekly, so we only put out 25 a year. Yeah. And if everyone gives us £100 per episode. But we had a wedding and we asked for money

a charity. We had some charities that we asked people to donate to in lieu of giving us money. Yeah, and also we framed it as if you intended to give us a gift, please don't feel obliged to. But if you intended to give us a gift, why not donate to charity instead?

Here are a few charities that are close to our hearts. We weren't like, give it to charity or you're not coming in yeah we didn't say and some people did still give money to us and that was very kind of them and very generous and we were very grateful so thank you to those people and thank you to people who gave to charity but also if people didn't give anything to us or charity that's fine too we invited them to something it's weird to invite someone to something with conditions on it now i'm looping backgrounds maybe weddings are cheeky fuckers their presents was the present oh people and mums that get so mad about that they get so mad about that they get It's so angry. So someone said that's per couple and kids don't give anything, so that's 60% gone. They're still talking about it in mathematical terms, though, aren't they? Well, that's 60% gone, so...

Yeah, let's say it's 60% children at this wedding. Generally, it's quite odd, actually, because generally, people on Mum's Net are very averse to suggestions that the couple might prefer cold hard cash, and they're like, oh, blah, blah, blah, people are terrible these days, but everyone on here is just like, oh, you know what? Actually, yeah, that seems fine. Asking for money, is fine. What would you prefer that your parents spent money on something that the couple don't want? That seems silly.

And really, it's a small price to pay, to, like you say, celebrate someone's joy with them and go to a fun party and also have the father of the bride. You're able to ask him one favour that you can't refuse. Is that how it works? Yeah. Oh. That's the start of the godfather. Oh, wow.

You can ask him to kill a dude, to whack a dude. He has to do it. No one really seems to have picked up on the fact that this person thinks that all weddings are cheeky fuckers. So people have just gone off on one about the amount that they would give at a wedding. And that seems to vary from about £50 to about 200 euro. Sure. So I like it when you get a scale where you can't really do a like for like.

Am I being unreasonable? Help settle a restaurant debate. I wasn't one of the people in this scenario. I was having this conversation with a friend, who was? There are five people out to dinner and they're splitting the bill. One person, my friend, Karen, has a gift card for the restaurant, given to her by her employer. The gift card more than covers her share, so she generously says the rest of the gift card can be used to deduct from the bill for the other diners, meaning they'd pay around £10 less than they would have without Karen's gift card.

one diner objects and says the remaining bill should be split between all five including Karen and not the remaining four because she hasn't actually contributed any money to the bill only a gift card she didn't pay for it seems pretty clear cut to me who was in the wrong but i'm curious to know what mums that thinks what what are you talking about by that token anything you get as a gift doesn't exist so if someone gave you a little lovely coat. On a winter's day, you'd have to wear that and another coat because you didn't pay for it. Yeah, obviously Karen should be putting money in and they should be splitting the bill by five. No. No, I'm joking. That's of it. What are you talking about? Well, Karen hasn't had to pay any money. Yeah, but that was a thing that belonged to Karen. If her employer had given her some cash as a gift. The gift card counts as currency. Exactly. That Karen is putting in currency. Just because she's not putting in cash money or

putting down a card. She's putting down a gift card. She's putting down a gift card. It's the same as putting down a debit card. If Karen got given a bonus at the end of the year and she used the money from her bonus towards her dinner, would this person say that Karen then has to also pay for a share of everyone else's dinner because the bonus isn't real money? What if the waiter had come up and spill a whole spaghetti bolognese over Karen,

and that meant Karen got her meal for free? Would she then have to pay for everyone else's meals? No, Karen's meal will be out, and everyone else has to pay. That seems like an unlikely scenario. Yeah. You don't have to pay. so of your friends do. Yeah, I think

generally if something's gone so wrong that you don't have to pay for it, then they're not going to make one person pay. They're not going to make one person pay. They went somewhere that just opened, and they absolutely cocked my meal up really spectacularly, and then they were extremely unpleasant to me about it, and they said, oh, I'm sorry about the misunderstanding,

and it's like you literally brought me something different to what the menu says it is. And they comped my food. Did they comp yours? I think so, yes. Yeah. It feels like you would have to comp everyone's food. Otherwise, you're just opening a can of worms.

Why is Karen friends with this person? Why is anyone friends with this person? It's current. It counts. Because it counts. It's beyond belief. You're chewing yourself out of money. Because Karen's generously offered to have the gift card flow over onto other people's.

Yeah, but they're saying that Karen should put her gift card down to cover as much as the gift card covers. And then the remainder of the gift card should be divided by five. Oh, I see. That's not quite as unreasonable, as what I thought. I thought she was just saying, we can't use the gift card at all. The gift card is out of play. Why would the gift card be out of play? That was my question.

Okay, well, because I got the wrong end of the stick, now I perceive this as more reasonable than it is. This is still awful. Yeah, no, they're saying, so let's say that the meal came to £100, and Karen's gift card is for... That's a good amount to give it a wedding. Yeah. And Karen's gift card is for...

Karen's just had a wedding and she's spending all the many pounds that she got from her friends and relatives. Imagine if you had a wedding and you got 10,000 pounds worth of gift cards. Just working my way through. No, you can't use that. Got some Zizi's vouchers. I've got an iTunes voucher. I've got some of those high street vouchers that you can leisurely use at every shop, but actually you can only use them at shops that are really struggling.

This is at the breakfast the next day after the wedding. She's trying to get through a gift card. Her friend's like, no! I know you just got married, but no. No gift cards. Yeah, so let's say, right, the meal's £100. Yes. And so it would have been £20 each because it's Karen's...

Oh, yeah. Yeah, and Karen's got a £50 gift card. So then it's £50, £4 ways. And they're like, no, it's £50 £5 ways, because Karen's contribution of £50 is on a gift card and therefore it doesn't count. But it does count, because if Karen hadn't been there with the gift card, you wouldn't have any of this. Yeah, so rather than paying £12, 50 each, they're like, oh no, we should pay £10 each,

and Karen should chip in for once in our life. Karen would be well within her rights to say, I'll just cover this and have it back with whatever's remaining on it, rather than spreading it out. She's got a bird through then gift cards, she's got 10,000 worth. She does not want the change back. Imagine how complicated it will you start getting gift cards, so you have to keep the receipt with them to see how much is left remaining. I've got a ZZZ card and it's got 37 pounds 83 left on it so I've got an M&S gift card that's still got like two pounds on it

and what can I buy M&S for two pounds? A samosa. I'm not sure it goes for the food bit. But what if you go to one that's a full-sized store and you pick up the smosa from the food hall but you pay for it at the tills by the pants? You want me to take a samosa into the pants bit and cue with the people buying pants

to pay for this somosa? Have you any idea what that would look like? The optics of that gesture. I'm not saying I want you to do that. I'm just trying to offer solutions. I'll get arrested for carrying the smosa out of the food hall bit, which is very clearly delineated. You can't even buy a somosa and get arrested and thrown in jail.

Isn't the political correctness point? The food hall in M&S is very clearly delineated as a separate zone, if you will. Like the zones on the crystal maze. And if I carry a samosa out without obviously paying for it, I'll get tackled to the ground. I'm a cis white man. I'm very targeted in shops. No, you're not. We've lost sight of Karen's gift card. I think it's socially unacceptable to cover just your own bill in this situation.

Karen didn't try to do that. Karen's... Oh, my word. Karen's covered her own bill, and then she said that everything left on there can go towards everyone else's bills. I don't understand. I think maybe this changes if Karen suggested the restaurant. If Karen said, we're definitely going to go to Oaxaca. Yeah.

And then at the 11th hour, whips out her gift card. Yep. And says, this is why I wanted to come here. That's a good point. It changes it. Because maybe, you know, the friend who's been a dick has 17 gift cards at home for Zizi's and would have wanted to go there. Yeah, that's a possibility, I suppose. then why didn't the friend speak up and say

actually I've got 17 Zizi's gift cards and I need to get cracking on them. Can we go to Zizi's? Or why doesn't the friend just say well this time Karen wins and next time and 16 more times after that I will win. You win this round, Karen. Exactly. I'll see you next time at Zeezy's.

Sometimes it's nice and clear who's being unreasonable. And here it very much is. Yeah. Am I being unreasonable? Is she being a table nabbing? C. F. Every week before preschool there's a little cafe run by the church. It's really great. The kids love it, adults caffeine slash yummy food and the church raises money. We've been going and grabbing a table as I have both a baby and a toddler to wrangle. Recently they've not been putting out the little

table in the corner with two chairs which my toddler adores. So we've been sitting at the ironically smaller table but with four chairs. Every time we sit down at the table with four seats, one of the helpers asked to come and sit with us. She seemed nice at first. She asked if her friend could sit and join us. I thought, sure, the more the merrier, but then they just sat ignoring us. Next time, she asked again and the same thing. Third and fourth time, she didn't ask. She waves her friend over and they just ignore me. This time, the corner table returns with only two seats, so we go and sit there. Sure enough, she doesn't come over to us today and tries making friends with a mum who looks like she's at a table on her own, at a table with four seats. As soon as a dad appears,

so there will no longer be the extra seat needed for her friend to join, she's off trying to make friends with others with extra chairs. Am I being unreasonable to not want to feel used and maybe say no next time, which won't be until September now, so that I might get to talk to other moms rather than an old lady trying to nab her friend a chair who can just wait 10 minutes for the preschool kids to go in. Wow, so many internal politics. Internal only to the O.P. It's not the internal politics of the cafe.

It's the O.P.'s in the monologue is riddled with politics. Yeah. I mean, fundamentally, to answer the question, is she being a table napping CF? Yeah. No tables were nabbed. No. Like, you've got, you always got a seat for you and your wee burn. Yeah. So what, there's not really any table being nabbed here.

Just spaces at the table being nipped. And it sounds like there's not enough spaces for everyone to sit at their own individual table. Probably because the church has set up a cafe to try and deal with problems of social isolation. So they'd probably set it up in such a way that you're supposed to share. It's not costing her a seat. It's not like this woman's coming over and saying, like, your kid needs to move so that me and my mates can sit down. It's not a zero-sum game. No.

No. I don't understand why she's, like, and she's so mad about it. She's like, I feel used. I'm still dwelling on this It's not going to happen again until September Why didn't you talk to the old lady Like you're so chagrined that you were used That you thought the old lady wanted to come down for a chat

Why didn't you chat to the old lady? Yeah Hey how are you doing? What's the name of your friend? Yeah like the third and fourth time Maybe the old lady was like This woman is cold I can see where there's always tables

There's seats left at her table Because she is cold That's why she moved on to the other table, where the Wild Dad appeared. Wild Dad, Roaming Free. Yeah. Rogue Dad. Rogue Dad is a great Tom Cruise film. What happens in Rogue Dad?

When Tom Cruise, when the day comes when Tom Cruise finally accepts that he is the age he is, he will move on to Rogue Dad, the Rogue Dad franchise. By the time he accepts that he is the age he is, though, the time for Rogue. dad will have passed, that we time for rogue granddad. Like, let's keep in mind that he is, in fact, a dad and has been for some time. And wasn't a young dad. He doesn't want us to know about it, but he is. Yeah.

Yeah. He didn't want anyone to know. That's why she wasn't allowed to make any noise during labour. No one can know I'm a dad. Yeah. Well, we don't want the aliens from Zeno hearing our labour pains. Yes, yeah. I thought you were going to say we don't want the Scientologists hearing our podcast.

Oh, no. No, that's fine. I don't want them to come for us. This is a podcast for Scientologist, isn't it? That's how I've been advertising it on the Scientology forums. Hey guys! Have we got a podcast for you? No, when the time comes for Tom Cruise to finally accept his edge,

the world will be ending and all the alien souls will be ascending into space or whatever they believe. Yeah. It's never going to happen. It's never going to happen, exactly. Still do these own stunts. What a man. Should we go back to the thread? Broke Katie Holmes' heart, though.

I don't know that he did break Katie Holmes' heart. I think he was more emotionally abusive because he's a cult member. I don't think it was like, what a heartbreaker. I think it was more like... Oh, and Nicole. Poor Nicole. Both these women seem fine now. It's fine, isn't it? Isn't Kate your home seeing Jamie Fox?

Come on, why would you be with Tom Cruise if you could be with Jamie Fox? Sure. Are you not confirming or denying this because I've said too much, and the Scientologists are listening? Yeah. Okay. I'm not allowed to talk about this. Okay.

Jamie Fox had extravaganza. That was quite the song. And baby driver. Yes. Let's go back to the thread. Is Jamie Fox a table-nabbing? No. Jamie Fox takes over the Rogue Dad franchise when it's rid of its course with Tom Cruise.

Maybe Jamie Fox is the Rogue Dad. So the other mom is Katie Holmes, and the old lady comes over. And she's like, oh, hello. And then Jamie Fox turns off, and the old lady's like, oh, tits. It's Jamie Fox. Man, this is a star-studied adaptation. Yeah. it is.

This is an ensemble piece. It is. Tom Cruise is just in the corner. I think Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes would be in a film together. That seems unlikely. I doubt it. I don't think they were in any films together.

No. He didn't like being seen with her. He didn't like anyone to see her. Yeah. Yeah. Let's go back to this thread. Rogue Dad. Yeah, so the corner table comes back.

When she first mentions the corner table, I thought it was like a little kids table. You know the ones that are sort of 10 inches off the ground and there's a really tiny seat there and it's for toddlers. Yeah, babies. But it sounds like it's just a little table, like a little garden set, you know. Yeah. Bistro table, that's what I mean.

And the toddler, for some reason, adores it. What fabulous toddler? I simply adore the miniature bistro table. Mama! Oh, mother, please. I do adore the corner table. I just like to watch the world go by. Mother, please, can we go to the corner table?

I want to concentrate on my writing. It's writing the name over and over. Mother, please, I can't, with the distractions on a four-person table. Maybe that's why the old lady doesn't speak to her. Maybe the toddler is off-putting because the toddler's so snooty. Yeah, the toddler just sounds snooty. The old lady was like, oh, I love kids, I'll go over and, oh, this is a very snooty toddler. No, no

Toddlers get some kind of gift card That he's trying to pay the church with Trying to come up with some scheme To play with this gift card And mum doesn't want to She thinks the toddler should pay This snooty toddler is one of the middle classes Who's very tight that I mentioned

So they're trying to Trying to use their gift card Also, if it's just for ten minutes Until the preschool kids go in I don't understand how this is blown into such a big issue. It's ten minutes a week. Come on. Come on.

Church politics, I like that sometimes. People have their seats in church and in cafe after church and cafe pre-church sometimes. Oh, I see. There's something about a church that brings out internal politics, as evidenced by, you know, the politics around organised religion. Making a broader point now. Someone on the thread has got on to the politics of churches for no reason. and everyone else on the throat is trying to establish

if there's enough tables and chairs to go round and then amphetamine gazelle turns up and says from my experience of churches these cafes are designed to reel you in i.e. you like the cafe so you'll go to church and give money in the offer tree and so on volunteering monthly standing order money. They want bums on seats come Sunday. I reckon that's why the table was moved

so they could chat. Once they got nowhere they ignored you. Worth mentioning that usually the cakes and coffee are all donated by the ladies running it, and money for expenses never claimed back. She went when the dad appeared, possibly, because she thought she wouldn't get much success. Is this the church of Scientology? She's making this church sound so purian and predatory. I'm sure the church would like to get more people coming to church,

but I think that's because the people who go to church get something from it, and they think it's something they want to share as a rule, unless it is like Scientology. I don't think it's that this old lady's just there like eyeing up who's going to put the most money in the offer. because you know the toddler's going to put a gift card in. I was raised in the church, so maybe I have a rose-tinted view of it and the community that comes from it. I mean, if we're talking on a grand scale about organised religion

and the Catholic church and Scientology, yeah, they want to make money, and it's about money to some extent. But a small community church that runs a preschool cafe, I think that's about community and coming together. And the ladies who don't claim expenses do it because they want to do it for the joy of helping the community. Yeah, I think that's... I am from a Catholic background

but was never, like, brought up with it. It's more... More cultural Catholicism, I think, is what it's called. Yeah, big fun of the Pope, don't go to mass. I mean, this Pope's good. The austerity Pope, he's good. Yeah, we have good Pope, bad Pope, good Pope. Yeah, the last Pope, rat singer, not good.

Quit. The one before that, the real Pope, JP2, very good. Oh, JP2, in our hearts. JP2. Pour one out for JP2. Hell's just poured coffee on the floor Pour a one out for my home in JP2 Look but with the culturally Catholic background

That I grew up with I would probably be a little bit cynical about the church But even I wouldn't assume that they were only organising a cafe To try and get people to set up a standing order Because that doesn't seem like it's going to work for a start Like, as a fundraiser, I know that you can't just give someone the opportunity to come to a cafe that they have to pay and then they'll suddenly...

No. Unless, they put in place some kind of booking system where if you pay, you can have that sweet car on a table. You've got to pay a little on the side. The Reverend's got to wet his beak. You'd just go to another cafe, wouldn't you? I mean, actually, thinking about it, it. I would just go to another cafe in this woman's position anyway. She wants a table

to herself, she doesn't want to hang out with the church ladies and no, like she says caffeine and yummy food. Yummy is disgustingly tweed, but whatever. I'm sure that that's available in other places. Just maybe this cafe is not for you, maybe just turn up at the time that you need to drop your kid off. They just said the church and I assumed a sort of small church of England or Protestant church. Yeah. But maybe it is the church of Scientology. and maybe you have to take a feet and test to get in the door and pay a thousand pounds to reach the level where you can set at the corner table

in which case I would be chagrined if I'd paid so much to get that table that is true yeah yeah I mean most people can't follow quite what her issue is and a lot of people are saying it doesn't sound like there's enough seats to go around so you're just going to have to deal with it also it seems like the OP's main issue here is that she was hoping to make a friend and it hasn't worked out

and I feel quite sorry for her because I imagine it can be quite isolating if you're just going around with your very small children. So if she did think this was her chance to make a new friend, great. But it sounds like the new friend is a woman that she can't stand anyway, so she hasn't lost out. You don't need friends that you hate. You don't need friends that you hate.

Let's do another thread. Am I being unreasonable to think that giving a stranger intimate details of your life is really inappropriate? Being with D.P. for five years, lived together for two. D.P. and I went on holiday in a different part of the country. At a shop, there was a woman who had lived in the same country that D.P. is originally from. Unknown to me at the time, D.P. had got this woman's number and started texting her after we got back. Pretty much straight away

in his messages, he'd been telling her bad points about our relationship and sex life. The woman said she wasn't interested in anything more than friends with him after he said this. She obviously assumed he was saying it for a reason as he jumped into that topic so quickly. She then stopped replying to his messages, as she must have been very uncomfortable with what he was saying. When I saw the text, I said it's totally inappropriate and it's hurt me, etc. D.P. thinks that it's fine and normal, as he needed to vent to someone. I said, Why, a random woman you barely knew? I don't want my dirty laundry airing to practical strangers. We're due to go back to that location on holiday again soon, and I'm feeling very uncomfortable

to be around where that woman might be again. D.P. thinks it's fine and doesn't understand why I'm reacting like this. Am I being unreasonable to think that what he did was fucking weird and inappropriate? I'm wondering if the DP is Tommy Versailles. So, hey, how's your sex life? That's the only thing that makes sense.

Oh, hi, woman. Tommy Waso would make friends in a shop. Yeah, he makes friends everywhere he goes. Hey, doggie. Oh, hi, Mark. But not best friends. He has a best friend. He has a best friend.

Mark is my best friend But he was the best customer at that florist Yeah, everyone loved to see him Oh hey Tommy I didn't realise it was you You're my best customer Didn't realize it was him He's the most distinctive looking man in the world Also he spoke to you didn't he

He said words You heard his voice No one else has that voice When did you not realise it was him You hadn't interacted We don't want to get into the room We could get into them We could spend a lot of time in the room

But so yeah Tommy Rizzo meets this woman, and his wife, what's the name of that character? Debbie. Lisa? Lisa. Lisa. Tell me apart, Debbie. Debbie is not in the room. No. So Lisa and Tommy go on holiday and Tommy meets this woman and makes friends with her. And the woman is from, the woman has lived in the same country that the DP is originally from, which is significant if the DP is Tommy or so. Who knows where that is? Yeah. Eastern Europe, I want to say, but where? Where are you from, Tommy? Where did you get your money?

Next question. That's what he does if you go and see him live. He pulls up his many belts. Yeah. Yeah. What shop were they in? What was going on? He was just like buying a pint of milk.

And then it's like, oh, hi. Did you ever live in a country that sounds like where I might be from? And then the one was like, yes, I did live there. Yeah, I did live there. No, she's not from there. She just lived there. Oh, yes, I am from there. And then why did they swap numbers?

That's so weird. I'll text you later, okay? So about my sex life. She's just like... My wife is such a bitch. She doesn't like me texting people about her sex life. She's tearing me apart. This whole bit is meaningless to anyone who hasn't seen in the room.

We will get it back on track so it's more inclusive. I don't think it's unreasonable to not want your dirty laundry owing to practical strangers. And I think it's strange that Tommy is texting this woman immediate intimate details. One thing I think the O.P. does not need to worry about is what happens if they end up seeing that woman again. Because if they see that woman, she will run for the hills before she tries to interact with them. Yeah, it sounds like the woman didn't want this as much as the wife does not want this. Yeah, no woman wants this interaction to happen. Now, I don't understand. If she's discovered this, why are they going back to that location?

and why are they still together? Yeah, this seems like a fairly big thing to happen in a relationship. It does, doesn't it? Yeah. It's pretty weird. It's strange. People are very strange these days.

They are, hells. And we're being unreasonable to think that what he did was fucking weird and inappropriate. Of course you're not being unreasonable. Absolutely not. Yeah, talking about a relationship with a friend is very different

than talking about you with a complete stranger. Yeah. So if you need somewhere to vent, she says he does. Okay, go talk to someone you know and did not meet in a shop. Maybe he doesn't have any friends because he has no concept of boundaries and people find him challenging to be around. Because the sort of person that walks into a shop says, hey, let's swap numbers and then immediately starts complaining about their sex life, it's unlikely to be a person who is adept at ordinary interactions and so they might not have any mates. The sort of person

who walks into a preschool cafe at a church sits down at a corner table with someone and starts talking about their sex life. Yeah. Mother, I don't want to sit at the corner table anymore. That man keeps coming over. Oh, hi, kid. Please, please, sir.

You need to talk to your wife. The AP has come back. I do believe he didn't message her intending to be creepy or flirty. He just doesn't think before he does things and didn't think how it would make me feel. he still can't see it from my point of view though he used to also tell his colleagues at work about the same stuff

venting to them but making me look bad he says he doesn't do that anymore but I said he never should have as that's also inappropriate he's also being promoted now and is the manager of the people he used to talk to me about I said it's super unprofessional and inappropriate but he says it's in the past before he was a manager and he needed to vent

he's usually a smart guy so I don't see how he can't can't see why this is wrong. It's kind of venting all the time. He's like, he's like one of those geysers in one of those American national parks. Oh, he's venting this fella. It doesn't sound like he's very happy in the relationship. And understandably, she's not very happy with his behaviour. Maybe it's time to split up.

Maybe. Um, the IP... We got a pizza, well, we got P-Day last week. Yeah, a takeaway. And they text me to let me know they were coming. So I've been texting the delivery guy. Intimate details of our relationship. Okay, well...

It's not going well, he's not replying. It's not going well with texting him or this relationship, because don't tell me that on the podcast. Save it for the live show. Exactly. They've some salacious gossip. Like the all-killer-no-filler live shows where they apparently say loads of stuff

they could never put out on a recording. I'm like, oh. We need to do that, but please can it not be you saying, I don't like you, because that would be bad. Turn me apart, hells. Please, should we do one more speed round? Am I being unreasonable to believe this is racist? Let's not.

Let's not. Yes. Yes, if you think it's racist, it probably is. No, but on Mum's Net, almost certainly someone said that a white person did something. And am I being unreasonable? Give to receive. Intimate details of someone's sex life. Am I being unreasonable to be overwhelmed at taking over a business?

Sounds pretty overwhelming. It depends on business. Microsoft, overwhelming. Yeah. The little shop downstairs, probably not that taxing. And am I being unreasonable? Why won't the Daily Mail still my thread? You didn't realise this was something people aspired towards. I guess you probably would feel like you're a bit of a dullard, wouldn't you?

If you're like, oh, keep posting really salacious details of my life. And the Daily Mail are just like, no. No, thanks. Yorn. Well, we read out the type. to love your thread on this podcast so maybe that's some small solace in this world of ours yeah that's all we can really look for these days i hope that gives you some comfort we're not going to read the whole thing heaven forbid no it sounds boring you sound like a bit of an attention grabber yeah so

that's enough about you yeah back to us just another reminder 15th of august at the chapel playhouse 830 p.m come to our live show it's going to be great please do tickets seven pounds five pounds for concessions. Yes. Thank you. Bye. Bye.