You Are Being Unreasonable - 054 - In which we take part in a nude calendar at work

Episode Date: September 26, 2019

"Live in the group chat; laugh in the group chat; love in the group chat." There are some questions which have haunted humanity since the start of civilisation. 'Should you take part in a nude calendar at work?' is not one of them. As well as discussing collecting nude photos at work, we tackle a baffling third-person logic problem involving babysitting and invent a new union for babysitters, we discuss the byzantine internal politics of group chats and the anxiety of thinking there has to be another group chat that you're not included in, and the horrors of not being able to drive on the one weekend when students arrive in a university town. Keep an eye out for our official You Are Being Unreasonable nude calendar.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when they're prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day when I felt the way that day. Hello.

Hello, welcome to you are being unreasonable. about people being unreasonable on mumsnet.com. That's right. A pretty light and breezy podcast, mostly. Mostly. But I want to talk about something very serious. Go on. Phil getting kicked off the Great British Bake Off.

Absolute travesty. It was unfair, it was unwarranted, and we need to rectify this. I want to make a simple starting pitch for Channel 4. Go on. To rectify the wrongs that they've done on the British public. Sure. They've already filmed the season.

So I'm not saying Reinstate Phil. would be too much effort. Yeah. I get that. I'm not being unreasonable. It's fine. Okay. What I am saying is replace one of the other contestants with

CGI and deep fake technology with Phil's face. Let's say Michael. I mean, it feels like your opinions on this are stronger than mine, so I'll let you have this one. Sure, we'll do that. There will be Michael's Bakes, but Phil's face and voice. Michael was pretty boardline last time, wasn't he? Yeah, so he might fill my...

Phil might get sent down early. Again. CG, Phil. Isn't that a double injustice? It's all about the bakes. It's all about the bakes. Should we do a speed round? Yeah.

Am I being unreasonable to seek medical attention for a cold? Yes, that's a waste of NHS resources. Am I being unreasonable to not tip when eating out? Yes, that's unfair to the waiting stuff. These are easy this week. Am I being unreasonable to wonder if the royal family will attend state schools once the private ones are abolished? Yes, they won't.

And am I being unreasonable, harmless little acts of rebellion. Amherst little likes of rebellion, like the dissolution of the monarchy? Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do a proper thread, shall we? Am I being unreasonable?

Inappropriate request at work. A colleague is leaving our team. Received an email from colleagues about a collection. No problem. I was surprised they also asked colleagues in the team to provide a photo, Onat Jarrell. To create a souvenir calendar for the person. leaving. Apparently not showing anything rude but you can show as much or as little skin as you want as long as we don't actually see anything rude and it's a bit

cheeky. I find this grim on a number of levels and given there are 10 plus people in the team there's going to be some pressure for everyone to participate. I don't think it's appropriate and could really use the hive mind of Mumsnet to give me a steer on what to do how to respond to these cheeky fuckers. Am I being unreasonable. Sometimes cards get passed around at work and I sign them and I dropped some money in the envelope, the internal envelopes that's also going around. Do you enclose a nude with that money? I was going to say, sometimes I've slipped a little nude in there if I like the person leaving. Yeah? Cheeky dick pick. Yeah. If I don't like the person leaving, I put it in fully clothed.

Like a really formal photo, you in a full suit with a tie. It's, yeah. It's purporting. pushing it to how much I like the person. Right. So if I really haven't got along with you, you know, had disagreements at work, I'm in like full winter gear, full ski gear. You can't see any skin, Balaclava. You know that if any of your colleagues are listening to this

and they hear this, just to be on the safe side, they're going to be horrible to you from now on. They're going to undermine your work. They're going to blame you for stuff that wasn't your fault, and they're going to steal stuff of yours from the fridge, just to make sure that they don't get. any nudes. They don't want my boudoir photos. No one wants nudes of their colleagues. That's terrible. He's a professional, tasteful, boudoir photos. What, like from a group on offer? Like,

yeah. They're sort of soft focus black and white. There's a lot of unnecessary feathers going on. Yeah, and based on the scale that I've proposed, I would have to really like someone to get nude. So for most people, it's like I'm wearing a t-shirt and some bottoms, and that's it. I don't like anyone enough to get totally nude. Okay, so a t-shirt and some bottoms is fully dressed, no? Yes, but not as many layers as, say, the ski stuff. You're not wearing your hazmat suit. Yeah.

Yeah. It is a scale from hazmat suited to nude, but I don't like anyone enough to slip in that nude photo. Thank God for that. Because not only was your career being peril, but our marriage would be fox. Her use of language here, assume this is a woman. I was surprised that they also asked colleagues in the team to provide a photo, Onaturale. Surprised?

Surprise seems quite mild. That was a bit. Surprise. That's a surprise. What if this colleague's not leaving and it's just some pervert? Well, actually, Karen's leaving. Am I going to do her a new calendar? Oh, she hasn't mentioned leaving.

Well, it's all a bit... A bit of an awkward situation, but anyway, the nude calendar. Okay. Another thing that I think is interesting. I find this grim on a number of levels, and given there are 10 plus people in the team, there's going to be some pressure for everyone to participate. It's weird that they haven't talked about it as a group. Yeah, it is, isn't it?

There's a real divide and conquer going on with these dudes. And also 10 plus people. Well, how many people? Are there 12 in the team? Because then, yeah, there is some real pressure. You don't know who fucks up the calendar? Yeah. But they're 13, because that gives you a little bit of slack.

You can be like, oh, sorry, there's no room for my nuddy pictures. Yeah, you can be the Judas in this one. Yeah. Get out of there. That was why Judas betrayed Jesus. He didn't want to take part in the nude disciples calendar. And then if there's 24 and there's only a 50, 50 chance your nude will make it in, just cut your losses now.

Because I can't think of any scenario worse than being rejected from the office naked calendar. Like, we've all got together, and these are the 12 hotties in the office, and no one else made the cut. 12 hot-y-up, bitches. If there's 12 people in the office, you have to do it. If there's 24 in the office, maybe they can do a hotties and notties calendar. Imagine leaving a job and they got you the notties calendar, and it's 12 of your colleagues who have begrudgingly taken and nude,

and then been told they're in the noties calendar. There's just 12 people who didn't make the cut, who now hate everything. It says you can show as much or as little skin as you want, as long as we don't have anything rude. And it's a bit cheeky. So, like, you could wear a burker. You could, yeah.

I'm not really sure how, if you're not showing any skin, it is a nude, yeah. I think it's inappropriate, and I could really use the hive mind of Mumsnet to give me a steer on what to do. You could really use HR and your union rep. Yeah. Because this is the place to start. I mean, not everywhere has HR, and not everywhere has a union that they recognise. But even if they don't recognise a union for negotiating purposes, you can still take a union. rep to a thing where you're like, by the way, I'm not getting my kit off for this person who's

leaving. That's terrible. I think this is a great present to get, if your HR rip is leaving. Just give them the envelope with the nude calendar in. They open it, look at it, and just shake their head, because they've taught you nothing. If your HR department are being made redundant, it's a great present to get the person who's made HR redundant. Like, well, anything goes now. Hope you enjoy seeing my bum. Yeah, this back an alien office. Welcome to the office, Caligula. No, this is all terrible.

Should we see what is going on in the thread? Is this for real? Who the fuck wants to send nude shots to colleagues? Where the hell do you work? Maybe they work in the Playboy Mansion. With the bunnies? Maybe they were a bunny. But in that case, I feel like there would be a calendar anyway.

Yeah. Oh, at the WI. They did that nude calendar. Yeah, they did. Like in the film Calendar Girls. That wasn't for someone who was leaving the WI, though, was it? That was for charity. I don't know. Me and my friends

snuck into that film and we missed the start, so I don't know what it was for. Oh, yeah, we didn't want to see Calendar Girls. It was just a tiny act of rebellion. Am I being unreasonable? Who is in the wrong here? Ella regularly babysits for Mark and is always paid for three hours' work.

Yesterday, Mark's adult brother, Tony, was at home. Mark told Ella she could leave the child with Tony if it went past her finish time. About an Towering, Tony says he will take over the childcare from Ella. Ella says she can stay until her finish time. But Tony insists, Ella takes the money for the full shift,

despite only doing under half of it. Money is left in the kitchen. Who is in the wrong here? Should Mark be annoyed? Why is this written like this? I don't know, it's like a comprehension test. I was going to say, it's like a maths test. Or some kind of philosophical puzzle, like Mary the colour scientist,

or the trolley problem. I don't know why, but there's something about the fact that they're all four-letter names makes me think it's genuinely lifted from the Year 2 sats. This is Bob. Bob doesn't vote for Corbyn. Be like Bob. This is Ella. She takes the money. She's owed, despite interfering men. Be like Ella. Who wrote this? There's no first-person pronouns. Just a third party. Just an interested neighbour. They read about it in a novel.

Or they're in the novel. a process of writing a novel about it and they want to check what direction it needs to go in. My book club is in two hours and I didn't really understand the novel. It was something about Ella and babysitting. So Scout is going to court with Atticus because... My assumption is that it's not written by Ella, purely for the reason that it's unlikely that a babysitter paid three hours at a time is old enough to want to be on mum's net. I might be wrong about that.

there might well be sort of 17-year-old girls who go on mum set when they're released from babysitting two hours early, just to check the ethics of what they've done. Ella regularly babysits for Mark, and he's always paid for three hours' work, and then later should Mark be annoyed? Isn't Mark the child, because she babysits in? I don't understand why Mark has a beef in this. Isn't he a child? Is Mark an adult baby?

And he was hoping for some adult baby fun, and then his adult brother turns up and was Like, it's okay, I'll give you your bottle. And now Mark's well annoyed. Sounds like Ella once the adult baby takeover to Ben. I'm guessing that Mark is the parent of the kid being looked after. Regularly babysit. For Mark, it means on behalf of Mark. Yeah, so it's Mark's child, it's Tony's nephew on these.

Ella is a babysitter. It's weird that with all these names, the child doesn't get a name. Yeah, but where would the mystery be if we could follow what was going on? Yeah, I find this very hard to follow. Would it be as good a thread if it was just like, hello, sometimes I babysit, but this time the uncle turned up and was a bit interfering, so I took my money and left. Was that okay? That make it easier to read, clarity.

But where's the mystery? What about the intrigue? How about style? Exactly. That aside, I'm not convinced that anybody's in the wrong. What would happen if the three hours elapsed and Ella just left. There's no one to look after the child.

Yeah, it does imply that normally Ella just goes after three hours, but there's not a responsible adult present anyway. Well, it says she's paid for three hours' work. Yeah. So maybe, like, she's been doing three and a half hours and not kicking him a fuss. Yeah. And now she's taking what is owed to her. She's reclaiming her damn time.

Yes, girl. Yes. Yes, Ella. Ella. Ella. Nice. Why does it say that money is left in the kitchen? Is this in case any of us are casing Mark's joint? I don't understand why any of the details are here.

Why did Ella babysit for Mark if Mark's adult brother Tony was at home? Maybe Tony's quite irresponsible, but for a little bit of time it's okay. I wouldn't trust him for three and a half hours, but for 30 minutes, what's the worst that can happen? In three and a half hours, he can start a fire, but he can't get the fire going in half an hour, so it's fine. He's rubbish at starting a fire. If you're leaving him for half an hour, we'll get home just when the fire starts to catch and we can put it out. Yeah, exactly. But if you leave him, it will only be there.

In half an hour, I mean, he could leave the taps on, but the house wouldn't quite flood. Yeah. Yeah. So, in that case, that was suggested that for the first hour, Ella was babysitting the baby and also the brother. And so she deserves at least two hours pay because she's been doing double babysitting, one for the child and one for the adult brother. And also, she's been hired for three hours. It's not like she can make alternative plans. So, getting out early isn't really a boon, is it?

Like, that time is still blocked out of her life for work. Yeah. She should take her damn money, as she did. Let's hear from the thread. Tony is in the wrong. Take that, Tony. Mark should have been crystal clear if he had an issue with this. Ella is not in the wrong.

And then, for some reason, the O.P. comes back and says, So you think Ella should have worked for free? What? Which nobody has said. And then everyone comes along and says, No one said that, what are you on about? No, she was entitled to the money. Yeah, someone said, where the F did you read this?

And this just goes on and on, and there's 13 pages of this thread. Would it be different if Ella was paid in nude photos? That's not currency. Where if it was put into a calendar? That has the opposite of value. I've skipped to the last page. I'd tell him to poke it and not babysit for him anymore. Where did the discussion go?

I don't know, I skipped over. over 12 pages because that was too many pages so I assume that the OPs come back and been like look I'm Ella this is what's gone down Mark's annoyed at me Tony's in the wrong whatever this is why every single person on mum's there just needs to get in a union and stop

being such a bloody sucker to their employer Yeah the babysitters union The babysitters club The babysitters club To demand equal rights Oh I wish that's what those books were A whole series of books for teenage girls about employment rights and solidarity.

Yeah, labour rights. Those are the books that people need. Those are the books that people want to read. Then we wouldn't have people making nude calendars for their colleagues all over the UK. Maybe I should write a book that's the babysitters club, but where the babysitters form a union and then release it as a Christmas novelty book, you know, those ones that you see on the shelf called humour, where you have to buy a present for someone you don't know.

Don't you have a list of like 20 of these book ideas? Yeah, every time a shit idea comes up, I'm like, that would sell so well at Christmas for people buying presents for a person they don't know. It would. We're good at generating this. Yeah, because all those books are, our shit ideas. Stop buying them for everyone. You remember when Ricky Jervais had that podcast, and he just put out a book of transcripts of the podcast? I don't remember that, but I mean, people love shit. Easily. We got all this content.

54 episodes worth. We don't have the same, we don't have the same fan base as Ricky Javees, though. Who would buy it? Tweet us if you'd buy it. Yeah, tweet us if you'd buy it. buy it, but I mean, that's not going to be enough people to get it published, is it? Also, tweet us if you want a yaboo nude calendar. You can want all you want, but I want doesn't get.

It's just going to be the cats. The cats are always new. In saucy poses. If you want a nude calendar of our cats, we can arrange that. We should start a Patreon. If you subscribe at a certain level, you get a nude calendar of the cats. Am I being unreasonable, or is this rude? I'm in a group chat with the work girls

10 of us in it I wrote in it asking if anyone knew what happened to someone who was let go today all read it but no one has replied am I being unreasonable to have been ignored this isn't the only time I've been ignored I also have a feeling there's another group chat which I'm not included in

I'm in a group chat with the work girls my message saying if anyone could send me nude photos for a leaving card this is what I was thinking right so it says there's 10 of them in the group I wondered if the person who's being let go is the one who was trying to organise this calendar

for some reason the OPE of this thread wasn't invited to do the calendar so they're like oh what did what did they do wrong what possibly could have happened but the other 10 people in the group there are nine people in the group are like oh my god it was new calendar gate but we can't say that because

they'll know they're a naughty not a hottie and they're all just awkwardly like do we let them in on the goss or is that bad for their self-esteem? I just don't know what to do. I'm in a group chat with the work girls. Ten of us in it. I wrote in it asking if anyone knew what happened to someone who was let go today. Why wasn't that person in the group? You're so worried about the group not being inclusive but someone has been fired and they were never in the group. That sounds a little bit exclusive to me. This person's tapped into something that very much speaks to my social anxiety because I similarly always assume that in every group

I mean, there is a parallel group chat where they've just got rid of me, and they're chatting behind my back. Why would anyone go to the trouble of making a group chat with you in it, and then a group chat without you in it? Why wouldn't they just make a group chat and not add you to it and go about their lives? Well, because my contributions on the group chat aren't valued. Well, so... Because I send too many gifs. He eats up their data. Too many gifts of calendar girls.

Yeah. Inappropriate emojis. I don't know. It's so sheds. Annappropriate emojis. What emojis are you sending group chats? That's the poo emoji, always. Oh no, I want to see the poo emoji. No. This is the point. It's anxiety. I assume that everyone has a group chat that I'm not in. Even my family. Well, okay, but I'm sorry to hear that. I'm going to start a yaboo group chat and you won't be in it. What? Who's in it?

It's me and then it's my work mobile number. This is what I'm talking about. This kind of shit. Am I being unreasonable to have been ignored? No, like a lot of times I'll ask a question or something on a group chat and people won't get back to me for ages. Yeah. Like people are busy. People lead busy lives.

We're all in thousands of group chats nowadays. We can't devote all this time to every single one. Oh no, but what if this person's only in this group chat and that's their only group chat? And what if they hear this podcast? You're like, oh, we're all in thousands of group chat. group chats and they're like oh my god there's 99 group chats without me ah oh no i didn't mean to shame anyone who's not in lots of group chats oh no i'm only in a few group chats no you've said it now the damage is done look we're all in the group chats that makes sense for us to be in

you've just got to live your life don't worry about other people you should get that embroidered on a pillar we're all in the group chats we're supposed to be in why would i get that that's so basic and also such a complicated thing to be embroidering live in the group group chat, laughing the group chat, loving the group chat. I don't want to be in a group chat where people are loving. Living in the group chat is just chatting in the chat. Yeah. Laughing in the group chat is posting lol or the crying, I hate.

I've left a group chat because of too much of the crying emoji. The group chat for the last place I worked was insufferable because it was just people being like at the train station and then seven people sending the crying emoji. I was like, that's not something that you're crying. What is so funny about this? You're all the most basic people have ever encountered. And then they'd be like, oh my God,

can't believe that I'm going to be late. Ha, ha, ha. And then the crying emoji. And it was always just transport. And then the crying emoji. And then transport and then the crying emoji. And then occasionally someone would post a picture of something that had many sins in it, according to Sliming World.

And then everyone would post the wine emoji followed by the crying emoji. I hated it. And I was like, this is ostensibly a, work group chat like I would not have chosen to be in this one but I was told it was needed for work like if you're at an event send a photo but you couldn't do that because it was just those are people crying all the time if you're at an event send a photo oh natural to be fair if I was in that group chat and someone had sent a photo of them at like a sponsored walk and they were naked then the crying emoji might have been appropriate but more likely

able to go for that sicky emoji. I think I don't understand this person because I wish people would start a group without me. I wish that people would use groups for the reason that they were set up and if they want to go off group,

just start a new bloody group, please. Yeah, kill the group chat, Viking funeral for the group chat, start a new group chat. I was on a group chat the other day on Facebook and it was a group chat for an event which has now happened and the event was a fairly eclectic mix of people

and then someone who was at the event asked someone else who was at the event on the group chat how their holiday was and I was like no like we're not all friends with each other we don't know you why are you using this group chat I don't mean to brag but I'm the admin of a few group chats and the group chats I am the admin of are very strictly controlled so for example if it's for a specific event then the title refers to that until the event has passed and then I changed the title and maybe the photo to reflect the new shape of the group. I find that interesting because in every group chat that I'm in, every member is made an admin. Not in my group's missy. Well, I like this

egalitarian way of doing things where we're all admins. It doesn't work, falls apart. But yeah, it does explain where my group chats are just chaos. This is anarchic group chats. You need a benevolent dictator like me. That's not what anarchy is, is it? It's not 18 people sending the crying emoji. It is. Anyway, so someone got fired and no one wants to gossip on WhatsApp and this person thinks that's rude.

Mum's there, wild. Should we hear from the thread about this? Yeah. No way would I engage on WhatsApp about something like that. All right, calm down. We've got to gossiped on WhatsApp. Exactly. The whole point of WhatsApp is for good.

gossiping everyone knows it's encrypted so we can all say whatever the fuck we want do you think if they rebooted gossip girl it would work in the WhatsApp era yeah it's all encrypted now like you say gossip girl just is one big WhatsApp group of every sad act in Manhattan who for some reason wants to know but you're able to see everyone else in the group chat and who set it up oh it's Penn Badgley oh I guess he's gossip girl and was all along. Spoiless for Gossip Girl. Yeah.

I guess if Dan Humphrey invited me to a WhatsApp group, I would expect some good gossip. Yeah. And I would be like, are you gossip girl? Because why did you set up this group? Lonely boy?

What's going on? Someone said, That's so nosy and rude of you. Someone was let go. Reasons are confidential. And they're shared by the Saki themselves. I didn't know Sacki was a word.

And then the O.P. Comes back again and says, but it's not like I was gossiping. All I said was what happened. I didn't want to be in a WhatsApp group with somebody who might post everything I did to Mumsnet. But there I am, just merrily sending a WhatsApp while I'm on the way to the train station.

Next time, it was a Mumset thread of everything I've done. No. I think you'll enjoy this one. It's some of your favourite things. It's someone who's got a scheme. Great. I've got a bright idea that no one's thought of. And it's about higher education.

And the ins and outs of the logistics of that. I just got back from work. Are by being unreasonable, university arrivals should be staggered. Absolute carnage in our city again. Students all arrive in one weekend. Solid traffic jams and disruption. Why can they not be scheduled to arrive over two weekends? The pollution from all the stationary cars was horrible.

Right. Why were you out if you know it's university arrivals weekend? Why were you in the traffic jam? Why didn't you just stay in for one weekend while all the university arrivals? rivals game. Yeah. It's a fairly stressful time in a person's life, you know, a lot of change. Yeah. At new environment, meeting new people, being excluded from WhatsApp groups. Yeah. It's tough. So maybe you can let them live and leave them alone.

Why would they do it over two weekends? What are the people who are there for the first week supposed to be doing with themselves? Yeah, then what they're going to do. So you can't run orientations or inductions or anything because you've only got half the people. You can't run social events because imagine being in the second week cohort. All the WhatsApp groups already exist. That's a live version of me included from the WhatsApp group. Yeah. If you rock up to uni a week later than your peers, you're on the back foot.

That is a horrible way to start your university days. Yeah. But I suppose this person thinks that university should be like work, where you're not there to have fun. You're there to study and learn. And not make any friends. Not make any friends. Friends are a distraction. Yeah, I mean...

Nonsense. This is just town and gown nonsense. I'm sorry you live in a university town, but you did choose to live there. Yeah, I mean, the likelihood is the university long predates you living there. Even if it's a post-1992 university or whatever, they didn't all just spring up from nothing. Like, they were still there before, they just had a different name. Yeah. It's extremely unlikely that someone's open to university since you bought your house. And if they did, and they did it just to fuck with you, then good.

And just don't go out on that weekend. Leave them to it. Let them arrive. Anywhere you live, there will be times where it's inconvenient for one reason or another. You just need to make your peace with that. And if your big issue is that there's a weekend where there's some cars idling because load of 18-year-olds are being dropped off to go and move into halls. You should be pushing for better public transport to your city, so the students can do that.

That said, like I went to university in a city that had a decent enough public transport system and I rocked up on the train with my parents, but like in Freshers Week people were astounded that nobody had driven me to Edinburgh and I was like, it wasn't really an option, my parents don't drive, but also it would take forever and a bloody day to drive up from London to here. It would. And people who came from near there were like, well, we did it. We just stopped twice. Like, oh my God, why does it take you three days to move to university?

It didn't be five hours. So the public transport thing, you know, people will still turn up in cars. But it's one weekend. Surely, if it were two weekends, that wouldn't reduce the traffic enough to make that that much better. Then you just have two weekends of people sitting around in cars and traffic jabs and disruption. And then you'd be like, why can't they space it over on week? And then you'd be like, why can't it be the whole year of people just starting, like, on rotation, a week at a time, just a rolling stream. And then you'd be like every weekend there's just students moving.

So term starts at the university I work at a week late So term has started this week And like it is staggered Because it's happening all week Like you get an induction slot Based on your name or whatever So you don't get like a full Freshers Week programme Of like on this day there's societies fair

On this day there's Yeah but enrolment is a different Oh yeah like Slot So it's Monday Tuesday Wednesday Yeah But I assume people are expected to be around and able to get to the university for the duration of that week for various things.

Having worked at several universities in London, I still don't really understand going to university in London. Seems very different. Yeah, I don't really get it. Some of my friends from school went to university in London and lived at home, and it seems like an extremely different experience to the one that I had, so I don't know how it works. But I mean, also, if this person's city is London and they're complaining about students and that's why it's like this, like you've got another thing. thing coming, you know, look around.

Yeah. If it's just one weekend in September that your bit of London is a bit busy, then where do you live? Come on, get a grip. Mark's adult brother Tony is dropping him off this weekend. Ella's taken him. She took the money for a three-hour drive and then stopped halfway because the three hours had elapsed. Should we hear from this thread? Yeah. I guess if you live in a university town, it's kind of expected.

what, three times a year, try living in a tourist hotspot. Well, I don't wish to be rude or smug, but my university town was a tourist hotspot, so I guess by September when there are a load of freshers knocking about and people doing all that, at least August was over and all the locals were like, well, that's something. Yeah, I used to live in Durham, which was much the same. Yeah. The entire town is the university and it's not a great town for driving. Yeah. You know, even when it's not moving in weekend. Also, the idea that it's three times a year, the vast majority of people surely don't move in and out

with their parents driving up and down at turn, like, turn breaks. No, I don't think you move all your stuff out at the end of turn. Oxford and Cambridge make you do that. And I suspect maybe some of the Durham Collegists, like there are places where it happens, but I don't think that's the norm. What makes me laugh where we are is that all the parents have the great idea

to go to the nearest Tesco, thinking they're being clever, not bringing it all from home. For my nearer's Tesco It's the busiest day of the year Even taking into account Christmas a new year That does make me laugh Crying laughing emoji Just because it's busy

Like it's still better that it's busy That you sit in the car Surrounded by Duvays That you could quite easily buy five minutes From where you're out to move into We stupidly didn't realise one year And popped into Wilkinson's And then the crying emoji six times

Never made the mistake of going into town again Do they mean that weekend or ever again? but they never went into town again. That was their final trip to Wilkinson. Yeah, they stay in their home, they get Ella to bring food, they pay her handsomely. The university has different priorities

than not inconvenience in other people who want to use the city. Yeah. Yeah, of course. It does. Universities don't exist to not inconvenience people.

Like, this is... No, no. Should we do one more speed round? Am I being unreasonable? Shouting by nursery staff. Shouting next to nursery staff. It sounds that way. Jimmy!

Jimmy! It's your teacher! Jimmy! Am I being unreasonable to realise I am utterly pathetic? No. Good to have that self-realisation, get out of the way, realise that you've been complaining about students in your university town, and just try and make a positive change.

I'm being unreasonable, what do I do? I don't know. Start a new group chat. And am I being unreasonable? walk outside and take the ball off of them. Yeah. Yeah. Take it off them.

No fun allowed. Take their ball. Take their ball. I'd like to imagine it's a cricket ball and they only have a lords. No, mine. But in cricket, they just come to a point in the game where it's new ball time. Cricket is the most bizarre and genteel game ever. Is it?

Like a multi-ball? It's just like how it was time for a new ball. Oh. Yeah, it used to fascinate me. My dad used to watch the cricket when I was little. Cricket's the one where they just... rub the ball all over their white, white clothes, isn't it? Yeah.

Get them all dirty. On their crotch, most of the time, it seems. Yeah. Very odd. Why don't they wear, like, brown clothes or green clothes? Like, camo? Yeah, so. Make it interesting.

So the dirt doesn't show up, really. Lovely. Yeah. Have we got anything that we want to thread, want to plug? I wrote a view of Bates, directed by Mark Jenkin, which is on my Medium site, Medium.com. slash at Simon XIX and I think it's still in cinemas because it's doing really well oh brilliant so go see it awesome um I'm going to do a quick plug for the clap and fringe

so I have my show on on the 12th of October at 3pm smashing it the capitalist patriarchy game show please do come along to that if you're in London on that date it's going to be super good fun I've added a bit where you get to hurl stuff at a wall if you're the lucky audience member. I'm also doing a friend of the show plug, also for the Clap and Fringe, for Lily Burton's all aboard at Termination Station on the 7th and 8th of October at the Clap and Fringe 9pm. I've seen it. It's amazing. I would really recommend it. So do go and see that. Have I seen a bit of that? You have, yeah. Yeah, it's good, that. It's really good. I like that. Lily's a very good performer. It's so good. I saw it in Kingston and it made me cry. Wow. But also laugh, but also

think. Crying laughing emoji. It was crying laughing emoji times six. Three crying laughing emojis out of

four would recommend. All aboard at Termination Station a station transport the crying laughing emoji. No but please

do come and see stuff at the Clap and Fringe It's lovely. The Bridge and Races are really lovely to run it. It's a great little fringe. Great. We released our live show

from the Camden Fringe last week so if you haven't listened to that go back and listen to it. Yeah. And we have a Christmas live show coming up, but the full details of that will be available very shortly, so we'll let you know once they're up and live. Yeah.

Awesome. Thank you for listening. Thanks. Bye.