You Are Being Unreasonable - 056 - In which we deal with a horrible goose and scare some voles

Episode Date: October 24, 2019

"You won't believe what this jacked gander did next." Thanks to Flora this week for pulling their advertising from Mumsnet and, for Flora representatives listening, we are available for advertising and we are not a hate site. This week we tap into the zeitgeist by asking how to deal with a horrible goose, we hold hundreds of doors open for other people, we hold individual pet-owners to account for their environmental impact rather than, say, a few massive energy companies, and we unravel the mystery of the suitcase full of damp clothes. 

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when they're prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right. Hello. Hello, welcome to your being unreasonable at the podcast about people being unreasonable on mumsnet.com.

And thanks to our unofficial sponsor, Flora. Yeah, thanks, Flora. Spreading away hate. Yeah, loving it. Is that their slogan? There are a lot of people on Mumsnet posting about Butter at the moment. I would say 30% of the threads on Am I Being Unreasonable are just for butter recommendations from people who are frothing at the mouth because Flora said they were a hate site.

Yeah, so for context, Flora said Mumsnet was a hate site and pulled its advertising from Mumsnet. And now people on their love butter all of a sudden. And yet none of them have the Nouse to just nipped. to the shops and just buy some butter. They'll have to really performatively all talk to each other about their butter dishes and their butter preferences and their spread preferences. Butter, butter, butter.

They're just not big fans of the easily spreadable but still great tasting margarine that Flora put out every week. It's difficult for some people because Flora made all of their products plant-based which means that if for some reason you can't have dairy, flora is a great option. What a great alternative.

I know, right? Wish we were being paid for this. Even Flora butter. is plant-based, but it's still got that great, buttery flavour. I love buttery flavour. Should we do a speed round? Yeah. Am I being unreasonable, Terry and June, and other sitcoms in similar genre?

So Terry and June? Yes. I don't know, like only fooling horses? I don't know, old stuff. Yeah. Things that dated badly. Not Kirby enthusiasm. No.

Am I being unreasonable to have farted? I mean, you got to do what you got to do. Depends on the context. If you're in front of, like, a crowd, maybe not. If you're Boris Johnson standing up. Parliament, it'll be very funny, but it's not going to get you that deal. No, it's not. Am I being unreasonable to ask the most, what the fuck films your parents let you watch?

Return to Oz? You seen that? Terrifying. No, what happens in Return to Oz? It's just like Wizard Oz sequel, but it's very scary. Oh no. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. And last one for this speed round.

Amma being unreasonable to find baby animals cuter than actual babies? No. Should we do a full thread? Amma being unreasonable to be afraid of my gander. Anyone own a gander? We have six geese that we got at the age of around 12 months about a year ago. Unknowingly, one turned out to be a gander. So now they're about two.

And being spring, here in Oz, it's the first breeding season. Well, the girls are nesting and he's very aggressive. Does it stop after breeding season? Any remedies that don't involve roast potatoes and stuffing? It's a lovely morning, your mum's net. And you have a horrible gander. Rough. Having been a horrible goose in a very lifelike simulation fairly recently.

Yeah. I feel eminently qualified to talk about this. So a gander is a boy goose, yes? Yes. What's good for the goose? Good for the gander. That's right. Yeah.

But what's bad for the gander, roast potatoes and stuffing? Yeah. You can't just feed it roast potatoes and stuffing and expect it to turn out to be a good gander. I don't know, maybe if you make it carbolode, it'll just be in a carved cova. Really buff. Just a jacked gander? That's even worse.

Imagine how aggressive a jacked gander is going to be. I would love to have a jacked gander. Coming at you, peering at you through the window. Am I being unreasonable to think babies, or animals are cuter than babies? Not at all, look at my jacked gander. Cute as anything. This jacked gander is cute a-f, etc.

You won't believe what this jacked gander did, not. Take a quick quiz to work out what kind of jacked bird you are. Do you remember the goose you got around the age of 12 months about a year ago? Well, you'll never guess what they look like now. Once you feel old, you'll never believe what Huey Dewey and Louie look like now. Um, I mean... So they're only seeking advice from people who own ganders, first of all,

because they start with anyone own a gander. If you don't, if you don't have that relevant experience, if you just played some childish video game, don't want to hear about it. If you're just someone on a parenting forum, not a goose forum, then keep your stupid opinions to yourself. You don't know what it's like to have a jacked gander. Sure, your kid might be a handful, but what about this gander?

This is a good point. This isn't goose net. No. We never go on goose net. It's a bed of transphobia. I feel like this question should be on goose net. Or the bird section of mumsnet. There is a bird section.

Is there? Yes, there's a pet section Then within the pet section It's broken down further And I'm pretty sure there's one for birds I've wasted 56 episodes On the Am I Being Unreasonable section Okay

Between episodes next week We'll put out a special Where we go into the bird section of Mumsnet So look out for that That's a promise Geese So, this Gander has reached

The Terrible Toes And because it's spring in Australia It's their breeding season Yeah Also I thought Mumsnet was a UK website Wow, you sound like every mum's letter. When people don't specify that they're not in the UK, people are mumsnet love to tear them apart by being like, it's not spring, so clearly you're a troll. It happens

a lot in sort of late August. People who are in Scotland, which is very much in the UK, much to I'm sure many people's dismay, post things about their kids going back to school and then smile me English women come along and they're like, nice try, troll, the schools don't go back until September. And then all of these like Scottish women are just like, I fuck off. In Scotland we go back in mid-August. But in Australia the geese are going crazy because it's breeding season. Yeah. It's like pond far for geese. Yeah. The geese are in heat.

Yeah. And they're getting jacked and going crazy. It's a wonder this goose sorry, this gander bothered to get jacked because if there were six geese and only ones are gander. It sounds like a harem. Yeah. You can really let yourself go. You're still going to have your pick of five geese. The girls are nesting.

I like that it says the girls are nesting, you know, that makes it sound like the girls are like people. Just nesting with the girls. Yeah. I assume it stops after breeding season. We just don't know. The goose in Untitled Goose game was just, well first a lady goose, I assume. But secondly, horrible. Yeah, just horrible for no reason. Because there were no other geese around. Maybe that's why, because it was breeding season and there were no other geese.

Oh. Maybe they killed all the other geese in some kind of dark prequel to Untitled Goose game. Oh. I thought it was just that that's what rural life is like. Sometimes you're very lonely. But oh, it's lovely, isn't it? Lovely quiet life. Yeah, but look how lonely your goose is. Yeah, until a goose comes along and dumps your ornaments in the pond. Your village has one child and one goose. Yeah, that child's being terrorised by that goose. This is why sometimes urban living is for the best. Urban goose game. Someone has said, sent him for a wander. The goose? Yeah. Yeah, send him off on a pilgrimage, like the Amish do. If he comes back,

he'll come back to stay. The goose has to go home wrong, Springer. If he comes back, he'll come back to stay. But if not, just let him go. I would love to see the carnage of goose would cause on Rumsbram. Maybe that's why the goose in an untitled goose game is out with these people all by themselves. Been sent off on Rumsbringer. Sent to a little village.

Yeah. Someone has said, my grandfather used a gander instead of guard dogs on his farm. Imagine thinking you were being pretty clever, breaking into the farm that had no guard dogs and then being attacked by several gandas, then having to explain that to all of your thieving mates. they're like oh did you steal the tractor and you've been pecked pecks within an inch of your life

the other day I was bed to go over the food bin and he came up from behind and smacked my ass no word of a lie sexist asshole to boots you've got a sexist gander that's rough we've got a misogynistic cat but you know it doesn't terrorise us just holds women in contempt and I think that he's got some sort of deep-seated trauma

I think a woman in the past has wronged him and he's extrapolated that out like when you read a lot about serial killers. A lot of them had difficult relationships with women growing up. Not that Leon has killed devil women. Someone has said, I've heard they are cantankerous old farts. There's lots of people saying what they've heard about geese, but there's geese is only two years old. It's contankerous young farts. Yeah. There are a lot of people offering their opinions about geese based on hearsay, but the OPE was extremely clear they wanted to speak to anyone who owns a gander. The first four words of the post, anyone own a gander.

Yes or no. If no, go away. And we don't own a gander, so on that, should we go away? Yeah. Am I being unreasonable to hate the concept of holding the fucking door? Obviously, if someone is literally right behind you, fair enough, it doesn't cost anything to hold the door for half a second. But when someone's about 100 yards ahead, they hold the door, they get split off from their party,

you have to walk faster to receive said door because you don't want to put said person out, they have to walk faster to catch up with their party, etc. I have mobility issues that aren't immediately apparent, and the amount of rude comments or bitchy looks I've gotten because I physically can't walk any faster to get to the door, just let them close the fucking thing, I can open it again. Not to mention that you then have to say thank you.

Not a big deal for most people, but I don't like talking to strangers. I have social communication issues, and I know I'll come off as rude or ungrateful when I don't mean to. There's no more trauma in this world than having to think of multiple ways to say thank you when someone holds a door open for you multiple times in a row. Yeah? Yeah.

Oh, thank, thank you. Thanks. Oh, cheers. Oh, cheers. Cheers. Oh, thanks. Well, Tah. Eventually, you just get to a nod.

Yeah, but where are you going that's just a maze of doors? I'd say a hospital corridor. Who are you following around this hospital corridor? A surgeon. Why are you following a surgeon around? No. You know, you're walking down a corridor in a university or whatever, and people hold multiple doors open for you.

Or you leapfrog. You know, you ever done that? When someone opened the door for you, and then you open the next door for them, and then on and on like that. To be perfectly honest, if someone held the first door for me,

and then I saw that ahead of me was nothing but more doors, just a never-ending corridor that was just door after door, I would duck into the first available side room possible and wait it out until they were two doors clearer of me, so the doors would shut behind them. Wow. Even more socially anxious than me in this regard. Look, this isn't social anxiety.

this is just that it seems insufferable. No. So you hate the concept of holding the fucking door. No, I don't, because I don't tend to go places that have got hundreds of doors. If it's two or three doors, I think that's fine. But the picture you're painting is one where you and a person are in purgatory, and the pergatory is a corridor full of doors. No, at university the other day, there's a door to the staircase.

Yeah. I opened it. Yeah. The person behind me got ahead. There's a door at the top of the stairs. They opened it. I got ahead. And then there's a door to the main corridor.

Okay, three doors sounds fine. Three doors. Leaphrugging all this way. And then a door to the classroom. Okay, no. Doors upon doors. No. If you're going to the same classroom, why didn't you just walk together? Maybe I don't know them well enough.

I think it would be easier to make some vague chit chat about, oh, how's your week, then yeah, everything all right, oh, good. Then to have to keep inventing new ways of saying thank you. Evermore and laughter. You can't say the same thing twice. Can't say thank you. twice. Yeah, but now I know this is someone who's going to the same place as you. I think it would be easier to just have some low-level chit-chat. Oh yeah, how are you doing? Oh, yeah,

all right, yeah. Oh, what you've been up to this week? Oh, yeah, blah, blah, blah. And then they'd ask you, and that would take some time as well, rather than you just saying, oh, thank you, senor. Gracias. I will be indebted to you. Just make some small talk. Though, I just think it would be easier. This person says they have some issues that mean that it's more difficult for them. But who are these people who are holding the door? And then when this person takes ages, they're giving them dirty looks and being like, well, fuck you.

Because that seems very surface level, nicy, and I can't imagine anyone's that awful. I can't imagine anyone doing that. No, that seems very bad. Someone who only holds the door because they're looking for gratitude. They're looking for those multiple fan cues. Just in it for the thank you. It's a power game so that you owe them something.

They're holding the door so that you owe them, but they want you to get to the door quick sharp because they're very busy and important. Yeah. And if it turns out you've got a mobility issue and it takes you a while, they're just there like, well, someone is inconsiderate

and that someone is you. I think the important thing is consistency. If you're going to open the doors, you have to open them for everyone, no matter how far away they are. If you're going to close the doors, you have to close the doors on everyone. Slam it in their face.

Like, did you see part of the ceremony for opening parliament is to slam the door on the black rod Oh yeah. Which is this woman who carries some kind of rod. Yeah. Just slam the door in her face. Rude.

Having said all this about the doors, I did... Not the band. Not the band. I'm doing a workshop at the moment at a theatre, so it's like during the daytime at the weekend when there aren't shows in progress. And they've put up those big velvet rope things to cordon off the areas that you can and can't be in.

Ooh, fancy. Yeah, so they've said if you're on a workshop, make sure you're using the ropes appropriately. put them back on the thing, don't climb under them because the people using the ropes confidently are the ones that we trust are supposed to be in the building, which is a big claim. If anyone wants to know which theatre you can break into

by just using ropes confidently, D-N me. But it means that if you're at the top of the stairs and you pull the rope so that you can open it and then the whole class come up behind you. You don't want to throw the rope on the floor because we've had a talk about treating this rope with respect. Yeah, you have to hold the rope. Yeah, and it's not like a doorway you can just pass it

because you can't just, like, rest your hand on it as you pass. You have to actually pass it like you're doing a relay race. Which means the first person up the stairs then becomes, like, Ropemaster General and has to stand there until the whole class leave. Well, here's another thing. If there's a lot of people behind you when you open the door, where do you draw the line?

How long do you hold the door before you... No, that's where you hold the door for the next person, so they put their hand on it, and everyone puts their hand in it to keep it open as they go through. What if there's not this domino effect? Sometimes you just end up holding the door. But, no, you won't get a whole group of people when no one has ever heard of this domino effect of how you open doors.

This definitely happens at work. Everyone you work with is rude and weird. If anything, this layout sounds like it... So, you work in a building that's made exclusively of doors. Work in a door factory, yes. And nobody will hold the door. It's like a bad riddle. It's like you work in a bad riddle.

Or an escape room for people who are shit. Just saying, sometimes you end up holding. in the door for like eight people. But even in the grand scheme of things, how awful is that? Terrible. I've got things to do. Got a gander to tame. Okay, well, I don't know. There is the question of how long you should hold it for

and when it's acceptable to let it go. I do know what you mean. Yeah, that's the question. There's no help there. It's not helpful. That's not helpful comment. That's like us, except we're not putting this onto the phone. I agree.

Also, the concept that since I have XX chromosomes, I am not capable of opening a door. for myself and I should be grateful for a man elbowing me off the way to do it for me. Okay. Okay. Someone's brought chromosomes into it. Let's shut it down. The likelihood of you actually knowing what your chromosomes are is so slim.

Like, you just make assumptions about your chromosomes and then you post about when mum's that you're boring. You're basic. Let's move on. And we're being unreasonable to be irritated by pet owners going on about fireworks given the impact that people having pets has on society and the environment. It's just about time for the annual Winge Fest about people setting off fireworks to start, and it's boring. If you own a domestic animal, then your animal impacts on people around you all year round in terms of waste, meat production, safety, sanitation and noise.

It also impacts on wildlife. Given that, and given that no one is obliged to own another living creature, it's a bit much to expect that all other humans around you refrain from doing something. they enjoy because it might make your dog unhappy. To be honest, there are sound environmental reasons for opposition to fireworks, but they don't even do half as much damage to wild creatures and their habitats as the average cat or dog. So that's a moot point anyway, and obviously not of great concern to you, otherwise you wouldn't own a dog. So am I being unreasonable to say give it a rest? Sounds like she's talking to someone quite specific. It does. It's like sub-tweeting, but for a mum's

thread, like someone who she knows who has a dog who she doesn't like has said, oh no, I don't like fireworks, they scare the dog and they're bad for the environment. And rather than her saying, oh, right, and thinking, oh, shut up, you hypocrite. Yeah, or having some kind of open disagreement. They've gone here. This annual Winge Fest, autumn's a great time for Winge Fest. Yeah. Poppies. Yep. Christmas coming too early. Yep. Halloween, being borrowed from the Americans. Yep. All kinds of stuff. Oh, yeah. Comes over. The clock's going back. Yeah?

Forward. Whatever. Spring forward, full back. I called it full, which is American. Yeah. Oh. This is a great time for whinging all around. It is.

The day's drawing and annual winges come around once again. The only other time is really Easter, because you know you can't put Easter on Easter eggs anymore. I know, you have to say chocolate. Even if they're not chocolate. No. Everything that is Easter-based, you have to describe as chocolate. Celebration eggs.

The other great thing is, if none of those are things you want to whinge about, you can whinge about other people winging. Yeah, like this. This person has decided not to participate in the Winge Fest about the fireworks. She's going to whinge about the wingerers. So does this person think that the problem with fireworks is just that it scares domestic animals and that wild animals are somehow cool with this? Because she's setting up a real thing where she's better than everyone else

because she doesn't, quote, own a living creature. Yeah. But she's happy to set off fireworks. which don't just scare domestic animals. They scare all kinds of animals. Won't somebody think of the voles? Yeah, voles is what I was thinking of. Voles are very frightened.

Voles are scared of fireworks. Think of voles this November 5th. Exactly. Remember, remember the voles. Yeah, I mean, wild animals get scared as well. So it's not like you're better because you don't have a pet. You're just willing to scare a load of animals. Yeah.

You're willing to scare a load of animals. animals without even taking one into your home to pat it gently on the head and tell it it will all be okay. Yeah. Unless your home is full of voles and you're patting them all on the head like some sort of drum kit. Right. Also, the environment is a big concern but I do feel like people use the environment as a way to say that anything that they dislike is now bad and why aren't we just looking at

environmental concerns instead. The environment is important but you can't just say that something is worse for the environment than another thing and suddenly win all arguments. arguments. That does seem to be how it's going on mum's net. Yeah. Ganders are worse than having no ganders, so we should get rid of all the ganders. Yeah, just, in terms of waste, meat production, safety, sanitation and noise. Okay, like those all seem like fine points. You're saying having a pet is bad for the environment. Okay. Then you're saying if you have a pet, you're damaging the environment and therefore you're not allowed to complain about anything ever at all

in the entire world. That's where it goes wrong. It just seems a bit of a false dichotomy. is to set up fireworks versus pets. And particularly dogs. Yeah. What does the phrase say here? To be honest, there are sound environmental reasons for opposition to fireworks, but they don't even do half as much damage to wild creatures and their habitats as the average cat or dog. So that's a moot point anyway, and obviously not of great concern to you,

otherwise you wouldn't own a dog. I think big corporations might do more damage to the environment than your dog or your plastic straw. You know how I feel about this. It makes me so, so angry when people just say, oh, but the environment, and they don't hold corporations to account on it, and they say, you can't have a plastic straw, even if for reasons of accessibility,

actually you need a plastic straw, otherwise you cannot consume beverages. No, why don't you just have a metal straw and risk dying? No, don't be disabled. You're killing the planet. Rather than just holding big business to account. Now they're saying, don't have a dog. You're killing the planet.

All these things do make a difference. Like, yeah. Do your very best to live your life in a way that doesn't wreck the planet needlessly. I'm not saying that we should just be incinerating all of our waste in front of our homes just for the sake of it. Or tying it all to fireworks and blowing it up. Or getting rid of all the voles. No. Those troublesome voles.

Just annoys me. Everyone should just do their bit for the environment within the parameters of their own life. But ultimately, it's the really big polluters that are creating the biggest problem. And whether or not someone has a dog or sets off a firework. is not going to be the thing that makes a difference as to the day the planet dies. Unless Elon Musk sets off the biggest firework there is and destroys the planet. Yeah? And nuke.

Big fireworks. Yeah, I don't think that's what they are. Someone said, I love fireworks. I think there's something magical about having a bonfire and a few fireworks at home in the garden, as well as going to a display. Not everyone who buys fireworks for home are dicks. Good point. Okay.

Good point, well made. Someone said, I'll be buying extra fireworks this year, because the amount of people moaning about fireworks on social media really annoys me. What could we moan about on social media so this person has to buy loads of stuff? Someone's moaning about aganda. Yeah. Someone's moaning about aganda, so I hope this person's buying extra ganders this year. I hope you're filling your house with horrible ganders.

Yeah. Then lots of people saying, oh, this argument doesn't make any sense. Just stop it. I'm relatively anti-fireworks and I'm relatively pro-pets. Yeah. But these are not in opposition to one another. Yeah. I don't begrudge someone having something.

fireworks because it scares Ozzie, because Ozzy's scared anyway. Exactly. Ozzie's default is to be afraid. And we're being unreasonable, DH has left my bag at home. We're on a weekend break. We've only just arrived after a ridiculous long detour because DH is a slave to the sat nav. He unpacked the car, and I said, where's the rock sack?

And he said, what rock sack? It has my hairbrush, my medication, books, phone charger, toothbrush, earplugs, mascara, mascara, deodorant, etc. etc etc it wouldn't all fit in the suitcase the suitcase contains nothing but damp clothes would i be unreasonable to kill him i want to pick up on one minor point in this paragraph why is the suitcase full of damp clothes well quite they're only going away for a weekend so why they've got a whole suitcase or other clothes for a start is beyond me but why it'd be damp clothes it's never explained like we just don't know what why did she pack the suitcase did her husband

and pack the suitcase? Suppose if you pack damp clothes straight out the wash. Well, thinking they'll be nice and dry by the time we get there. Save hanging them out.

But they'll be even more wrinkled. This isn't a wrinkle-free solution. And they'll smell. They'll be very smelly. A suitcase will smell. So my big question is why do you have a suitcase full of damp clothes?

Yeah, mine too. But that's not this person's big question, which is why did Dee Hates not pick up my bag? And it sounds like... It sounds like he didn't know there was a bag, so my question is, why didn't you pick up your bag? Yeah.

You could see that he was very busy carrying a very heavy suitcase, heavier than normal, because not only was it full of clothes, but the clothes in question were damp. Yeah. Very heavy suitcase. Sodden clothes. Yeah. This sodden suitcase.

Maybe the detour was through a river, because they just followed the GPS. Yeah. And I'm one for following the GPS. I followed the GPS up a mountain on our honeymoon. You did, yeah. But not through a river. I would have drawn the line. at a river, because I don't want sodden clothes.

Yeah, so river deep, no, mountain high, yes. Yeah. Okay. Ain't no mounted high enough. A river, any river's wide enough. Yeah. We're on a weekend break. We've only just arrived.

They posted this at half nine or a Friday. I mean, if you do need him to pick up everything, let's say you don't have any arms. Yeah. Then maybe you have a point, but I still think you should have told him. Yeah. I have a suitcase full of medication for my no arm condition. The pills I take so that I can sprout off

Please pick it up Yeah So her arms got cut off and she's gradually growing Like little baby arms Or maybe But she needs the pills continuously Even a weekend break can disrupt the flow of medication here Maybe she has arms

But she's just not very strong And her medication is just like that protein powder That you take to bulk up Yeah She hasn't had cargo loads like the gander No She just can't lift this bag full of airbrush Bucks phone charger

How many books are you taking for a weekend and break? Yeah, I mean, I just don't understand. Some of this seems like the stuff that you might have in a separate rock sack, like your hairbrush and your toothbrush. I can imagine you might have in a separate rock sack because you want to be able to get to the measly, whatever. You don't want them to get sodden with the rest of the clothes. Yeah, you don't want a toothbrush that's been dredged through a river.

Yeah, the mascara getting all wet, running. But it sounds like everything except clothes. So, if he packed the bag, then, if he, right, if he packed the suitcase and she packed the bag, rock sack. He must have namely packed the suitcase that it didn't have any of the essentials like phone chargers, toothbrushes, her medication. So maybe he would think like, oh well, that must be somewhere else. And that's the only situation I can imagine where she would expect that he would know there would be another bag. But why would he know that she hasn't picked it up?

Hmm. We're missing his side of the story. We need to hear why he didn't pick up this rucksack. Maybe they live in a house full of rucksacks and he couldn't distinguish it from the rest, which is just background to him now. Yeah. Background noise. But ultimately, she needs to take responsibility for things. Yeah, massively. Someone said, surely everyone spends the first 30 minutes of a journey shouting,

did you put my case in? Shouting. Are you put my case in? Do you put my case in? Did you put my case in? Small car, please. I'm picturing five people crammed into a car that's really only good for four people. There are five cases, and so there's no space at all,

and everyone's sitting under a case, and they're all shouting. Did you pack my case? Lots of people saying, oh, I would never rely on my D.H to put my bags away for me. Like, yeah, that's a good point. There's any further details on the damp clothes. Lots of people want to know about the damp clothes. And, I mean, it doesn't look like the OPE has been forthcoming and explaining them, but let's have another look. It's the throwaway line that is so intriguing.

The little detail. Dant clothes, because when I got home from work, they still weren't dry, so I just had to take them. D.H. always packs the car. And as the rucksack was with all. the other bags, I assumed it had been packed. I'm contemplating a two-hour drive home to get it. I could go and buy a hairbrush, etc, but not the medication. No, I don't care how much of a hurry you were in. It sounds like your organisation is piss poor, because why didn't you make sure that you had some clothes that weren't damp? Even they weren't your ideal clothes.

Take other clothes. Or plan ahead. Plan your laundry ahead. Did you wash every piece of clothing you owned at once. Every single thing, except the clothes on your back, had all been washed together. There's no way I would let it get to this state. I would always have some underpants and reserve. There's always going to be some dry underpants. Yeah.

Like that you let it get to this parlour state is on you. This is just terrible. She only packed damp clothes. They're going away for a weekend. She was the one who chose to put damp clothes in there, and she was one who needed so many clothes for a weekend that none of her dry ones would suffice. and there was no room for any of her essential stuff in the suitcase

and she's taken several books. I would buy new clothes rather than pack damp clothes. You're going away for one weekend. Just re-wear what you've got on today and buy one outfit. Yeah. Yeah. Surely you've got a pair of clean pants that you can wear. I just don't pack damp clothes.

I just don't wear any pants. You're going to get the suitcase all damp and you're never going to get the must out of the suitcase. Yeah, and your clothes are going to stink. Yeah. And, oh, this is just terrible. My DH did this last year. He survived, but we had a tense few hours until I sourced some contact lens fluids. Why did you make him take responsibility for it? And how difficult was it to source some contact lens fluid? And come on, like even if it's night time and

you can't get hold of it there and then. I'm sure that you could put them in a case for one evening and it wouldn't be the very, very end of the world. Yeah. There's blame to go around, but ultimately responsibility lies with you because it was your suitcase. I think there's blame to go round, but only around her. Just circles and circles of blame. Concentric circles of blame. There's blame going around, but it's not hitting the husband. This is coming back to you.

The first circle of blame is, why did you pack damp clothes? The second circle of blame is, why didn't you tell anyone there was a rucksack? Yeah. And the third circle of blame is, why are you so annoyed about it that you started a mum's let thread? On your weekend break. Shall we do one more speed round? Amma being unreasonable?

inspirational quotes you actually quite like. Hmm, live a little, love a lot. Okay. I'm loving it. You're doing advert slogans. I feel like chicken tonight. Amma being unreasonable to ask about the afterlife? I mean, you could ask, this isn't the forum for it, surely.

No answer's here. Amma being unreasonable, is this pinky toe broken? You'd see a doctor about that. And last one, Amma being unreasonable, Alexa is a bitch. Tough, harsh. Alexa on here. It's the only Mumsnet trope that I ever agree with is that they all hate Alexa and I do too. Wait for this one secret discovered by Alexa. Doctors Hater. Mumsnet as Hater. Oh, thank you so much for listening. Please do come and see our live show in December. Yes. So we

have a live show December 8th at the boulevard theatre in Soho. Yeah. So tickets are £12. A portion of that ticket price, we'll go to mermaids. Yep. Mermaids, the charity, not mermaids, the mythical creature. No, it will go to fund my search for mermaids. Okay. I'll find them. They're out there. Okay.

I've seen the little mermaid. For reals though, it will go to the actual registered charity mermaids who support children who are trans and their families, so they do a lot of good work. And increasingly, I can't live with the fact that I'm sending traffic to this board. so I'm off to buy some flora I'm still writing film reviews for Take One magazine so go to take one cinema.net and check those out I was lucky enough to get to see Monos

which won best film at the BFI London Film Festival and I reviewed it and it was good excellent that's very good yeah go see that when it comes out I guess doing my show smashing it at the Vagina Museum on Saturday the 9th of November at 6th 30 p.m. Do come along to that. It's a game show about patriarchy and capitalism. And the Vagina Museum is super cool. So come to that. And also for a place called the Vagina Museum,

it has got very good politics. Go and look up all their policies. It's very good and not mums letty at all. Good. Good. Good news. Yes. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening. Bye. Right now, right now