You Are Being Unreasonable - 057 - In which we enrol children in Junior Fight Club and get strap-ons when we search for T-shirts

Episode Date: November 7, 2019

"Would it be spiteful to release the hounds after the interview?" This episode is brought to you by Blinds.net where you can buy the concept of blinds. This week, midwives steal our morphine, we rush to the airport, we buy blinds for our naked neighbours, we use 'spite' as the reason for our hiring decisions at work and get into the legal ramifications of dismissing someone based on spite, we get gut feelings of deep deep yuck from someone who hasn't done anything wrong but who maybe runs a fight club for children, and we get search results for absurdly large (and "vividly shaped") fake penises when we search for T-shirts on Amazon. Standard Mumsnet.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when they're prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right. Hello. Hello, welcome to you are Being Unreasonable,

the podcast about people being unreasonable on Mumsnet.com. I'm Simon And I'm Helen And we do a deep dive on mum's nets Am I Being Unreasonable Board Yeah We pick through We find the juiciest threads

Or just the biggest dickheads And then we talk about What people are saying I was thinking about marketing of the podcast Go on Because I got an email from Doc Martins advertising the Doc Martins podcast

Okay Which makes me think that a great way To market this podcast Will be to establish a shoe company Yeah Stay in business for 60 years years, 70 years, and become a beloved icon of shoes. Yeah?

And then launch a podcast and email all that, people who've bought shoes off us. That sounds great. I don't know about the longevity of this podcast. Not because of anything we're doing. The Doc Martin's podcast. No, our podcast. Yeah. Just because surely at some point, moms that will get shut down as a hate site.

I'd like to think that in the next 70 years, times will move on to the point where it does get shut down for being a literal hate site. Yeah, and we'll move on to reviewing. Doc Martin's shoes. Yeah. Should we do a speed round? Yeah. Am I being unreasonable?

Would this annoy you? Yeah, probably. Am I being unreasonable? Father-in-law said our house smells of urine. So don't you need to clean up your pissy home? Am I being unreasonable? Or was midwife stealing my morphine? I really could have ended badly.

I thought it was midwife stealing my baby. Well, morphine's not great either. You don't want to not have any pain relief and for your midwife to be high as a kite. Am I being unreasonable to not know how to get to the airport? No, many people don't. It's so far out of the city. What I would suggest is a map. Or a taxi.

Sure. Take me to the airport, quick. No, but then you might end up at the wrong airport. I think if we said from here, take me to the airport, they'd probably take us to Heathrow, because that's like the biggest London airport. I only got a Heathrow. But what they don't know is I'm a cheapskate.

I need to get to Stansted. Not even Gatwick. No, I'm going to Stansted. Goodness me. We're going to begin with a thread that was a list. a request this week. I'm going to say in advance that the thread has now been pulled from mum's net, so I'm having to read it off a screenshot. Oh no. Why don't threads get pulled? This one said it got pulled because the OP had some real life concerns. So with that,

let's do the thread. Am I being unreasonable to be majorly creeped out by my son's tutor? He runs a club after school. I'd never met him and then I met him and oh god, I just felt this wave of pure yuck. He didn't do anything or act any differently or creepy. He's definitely not neurotypical and the club he teaches reflects this. But some of my favourite people are neurodiverse so I don't think it was the case of feeling off in that sense. It wasn't really anything at the level of thought but a gut feeling of deep, deep yuck. When he went to shake my hand, I was screaming internally and I wanted to wipe my hand down the side of my leg after. My son loves this club. I know he's safe as it's in school time. I searched for the tutor online afterwards

and saw the club he runs on a Saturday demand parents stay, which makes me think, oh, perhaps he's not as bad as I thought. Or maybe it's not kids, but women he's creepy with. Though he wasn't creepy with me, it was only a feeling. Yesterday I saw him again for the second time and felt the same. He pulled my son's hat over his head in a jokey manner, and I was screaming internally, Don't touch him!

He asked me if my son would like to come to the Saturday club, where the parents have to stay and supervise, and I was like, no way, internally. Now, my quandary is, if I'm not letting my son do the weekend club, why am I allowing him to go to the school club when my gut is behaving in such a way? As I said, I know he's safe, but I'm allowing him to be in close proximity

with someone I got a major creepy feeling with. He will be devastated at having to stop the club, but even as I'm writing this, I know what the answer is. Pull him out of the club. Of course, the voice is saying, what if you're wrong? What if there's nothing wrong with this guy? But another is saying trust your gut. I've met enough creeps over the years. How do you teach your kids that you have a gut feeling about someone being indefinably creepy? He doesn't understand when you've got a gut feeling

about someone that's based on nothing except your unconscious bias. Yeah. I guess we all know. We all remember the time where suddenly we understood that it was okay to decide someone was creepy based on nothing except possibly the fact they weren't neurotypical. We've all been there. We have. My parents explained it to me, your parents, I'm sure, explained it to you. Their parents explained it to them before. Yeah, we can't go to that cafe anymore because the owner's not neurotypical, and it scares me. Now, some of my favourite people are neurodiverse, so it's got nothing to do with him not being neurotypical, but I will mention it.

I want to know what the club is. He says he's not neurotypical, and the club he teaches reflects this. So either is a club for people who aren't neurotypical. to come together for support, fair, or it's not, and she's just, again, with her unconscious bias, decided that, I don't know, like a coding club or something, is definitely where you would find people who aren't neurotypical. I mean, if it's a fight club, I can see there being a problem there. Six is very little for a fight club.

Yeah. And obviously it's very difficult to explain what the problem with the fight club is, because you can't talk about fight club. Exactly. Exactly. What if there is no tutor? What if the creepy man is just her? It's Tyler Durdin in it.

I can't believe that... She's shaking her own hand and getting a feeling of deep, deep yuck. And she wipes her leg afterwards. It feels like it's the man touching her leg. Yeah. What's going on? What's this creepy feeling?

Yeah, don't send your kid to a fight club. No wonder you think they're creepy. Brad Pitt was creepy in that film. Yeah, that was kind of the point, though. Like, there's something about Fight Club is supposed to be aspirational. I find it aspirational as a white man. It's up there with my favourite characters.

You know, Walter. White, Bojack Horseman, Rick from Rick and Morty. Love them all. Gatsby. Gatsby. People who love Gatsby. Like, what? Patrick Bainterman. These are the big ones. Miss Trunchball. I really want to know what the club is. I want to know why there's a club running during

school time. I don't want to sound like an old bitty, but why aren't they at school? It's just a feeling of deep, deep, yuck. And should we deny those feelings of deep, deep, yuck? Yes. I think it's extremely creepy that she went and searched for the tutor online afterwards because she thought that there was something weird about him. And then she started a mum's net thread about the tutor afterwards because there's something weird. If anyone's the creep here, I don't think it's the tutor. No.

Yeah, I don't, there's no reason to not like this guy, just because one person has a feeling about him. I mean, it's understandable. There are people that you meet and you just think, oh no, I don't like you. Generally, I don't think you're creepy and I'm in danger here, but that is a feeling that you can sometimes get. And actually, I don't want to minimise that feeling because, like, very often that's a real thing that people experience. People predominantly women experience,

and are told that if they can't back it up, then they shouldn't say anything. Yeah. But on the other hand, he's running a club. He's probably been, like, DBS checked. Yeah, it's also weird to bring it up in relation with his neurodiversity. Yeah, it does seem a bit like... Why tie those two things together? Like filthy ableism.

Tyler Durden here, came back with a couple of updates. She says, it's not about him being harmed. He won't be harmed because the school club is on school ground. It's about me allowing him to share space and be taught by someone who gave me a gut feeling of horror. See, in the first post, it was just creepiness, and now it's horror. A gut feeling of horror.

As some of you suggesting that I sent him to the weekend club and watch what he gets up to, he won't do anything except laugh and joke with the kids. He's not done anything at all. What he has done is unbeknownst to him, giving me a major creepy vibe. That's it. He hasn't done anything at all. He runs a club where parents can come and watch him run the club. Where he laughs and jokes with the children. He sounds like he's probably the best person to be running the club

because he laughs and jokes with the children and he hasn't done anything wrong and even you don't think that any harm will come to your son. Go and watch if you wouldn't. I'd say like people have. Go to the club with him. See how it goes. If you still don't like it, find a different fight club. And then the final update from the OP here.

I think I'll just have to take him out. and trust my gut. I'll try and redirect him to something else, though that won't work. He's high as a kite when he leaves this club. He loves it. So there's going to be trouble. If all else fails, I'll just say I didn't like the teacher, that I didn't like how he teaches or something. My son can hate me and then I can explain in years to come. What? So when your son's old enough to understand, when your son's, I don't know, 11? When do you think kids are old enough? You'll sit him down and be like, do you remember when you used to do a club that you loved, but then you couldn't do it anymore? Well, now you're old enough to know that it's because I

I had a gut feeling of pure horror. You couldn't go to that club anymore for no specific reason. Unbeknownst to the teacher, he gave me a major feeling of yuck. If the kid is literally high as a kite when he leaves the club, then there's a bad, the reason. Yeah. Like, that teacher's been stealing morphine and giving it to the kids. Yeah.

That's bad. I mean, if that were the case, you should have put that in the opening sentence. Yeah. She wouldn't have needed any of the other stuff. She maybe should have said, am I being unreasonable to take my son out of this club where they get him high. Yeah. And everyone would be like, no, take his son out of the club.

My son is in a drug club. A drug school. Should I take him out? He's only six. He's not old enough to understand addiction or withdrawal. Is it easier to let him stay in the club until we can help him verbalise these issues? Yeah, don't go to the after school drug club.

But this club sounds fine. Yeah, I mean, I think it's probably not a drugs ring. It's probably not a fight club. It sounds like this is just an. Abelist mum. Yeah, who has a problem with this neurodiverse person. Is it neurotypical to just over and over say that something gives you a deep feeling of yuck? Is anyone neurotypical anymore? I don't know, but I do know some people are ableists and this woman is one of those people. Let's move on. Am I being unreasonable to think he should use blinds? Or us? We have a kitchen extension with Bifeld doors. Since we've had this done, we can see the man from the house that backs onto us walking around naked every night as we sit down for dinner. No matter what time we eat. My husband wants to complain to him,

but I think it's probably he's right to do what he likes in his own house and we would just be told to get blinds. I really don't want blinds. It's extremely off-putting and the kitchen configuration means we can't avoid seeing him. Every time they're preparing a meal. He sees, he strips off. He pulls up a wooden chair,

sits in front of his big window. and just sits down. Legs are Kimbo and watches while they eat. No matter what time they eat, as if daring them, challenging them to say something. I mean, what I imagine is that it doesn't matter what time it is they eat because I assume the guy's always naked. I can't imagine that he's there peering through the window waiting for them to sit down to eat and then ripping his clothes off. It's more like a friend's ugly naked guy situation. Yeah. Just perma naked.

Unless it is just when they eat. Yeah. Like at lunchtime on a Saturday, he's naked, but then at two, he's got his clothes back on. He's got a full three-piece suit in the top hat. He's dressed like Jacob Rees-Mogg. So Jacob Rees-Mogg is at home, stripping off at tea time. Sitting in this wooden chair and watching them. Maybe he should get blinds.

Maybe you should buy him blinds. Let's all get blinds. It's winter, it's chilly. Blinds are good for keeping the heat in. I've been freezing cold all day long. Yeah. I think blinds are great. I've been freezing cold.

I would like to point out, I have got clothes on. Yeah. I'm not freezing cold because I'm walking around naked and staring at people across the road while they're trying to eat their Sunday lunch. No. But blinds are great in the winter. They keep out the cold, and when it's dark, you can draw them and you can feel really cozy. I think both parties should get blinds.

He's sponsored by blinds this week. I have sponsored by blinds, yeah. Not any particular company, just the concept. Blinds. For all your blinds needs Do you do curtains? Get out. I wonder if she would be open to getting curtains.

She really doesn't want blinds. How about curtains? I think of a good compromise. Yeah, she gets some nice nets. No, not nets, because then you can see his bits through the net. No, like... You need completely blackout curtains. I don't want to be eating my meal in a blacked out room.

Well, no, but do you want it with a man's penis in your face? It's not in my face. It's all the way across the garden. still. So having something in your eye line is quite different to it being in your face. Like very often I can see squirrels out the window, but this doesn't mean that they're in my eye, it's screeching. Squirrels and their penises.

When I'm on the train to London Bridge from where we live, there's nice flats near the train line. Yeah. And sometimes in the morning people don't have blinds closed when they're getting ready and doing their breakfast and ironing. Yeah. So you see them in the buff. Sure.

I just think they should get blinds or the train should get blinds. I think the train should get blinds. You should have those little pull-down windows like an airplane. Failing that you should get blinds. You should get little glasses with blinds on. And as you're going past those particular flats, you just pull them down. I shouldn't be looking in their windows. Well, no, you shouldn't.

It's true. But there is something tempting, especially like when it's dark and cold out. And, like, you walk past and someone's got their curtains open and it looks like they've got a really cozy home. There is something a bit tempting about just craning your neck and having a look in. But they're not cozy because they're booked naked. Yeah. And everything in there's wiped clean.

Oh, no. The opposite of coats. A deep, deep feeling of yuck. It's extremely off-putting and the kitchen configuration means we can't avoid seeing him. Surely they could move some of the chairs around so they've got their backs of the door. Problem solved? No, 360, like a conservator. It's just windows on all sides.

Like a fishbowl. Like a fishbowl. Yeah, but even, okay, but if you've got your back to the window that he's facing. The floor rotates. Oh, constantly. Like a rotating stage. Like the one at the boulevard theatre, where we're playing. On the 8th of December.

That's right. We shouldn't have put that plug there because it sounds like on the 8th of December we'll be trying to eat our dinner and be buck naked at the boom of our theatre. That's not what we mean. No. If you're coming to that show, please wear pants. Please.

Please. I know it's Soho, but Soho's changed a lot. Really must wear pants. Personally, I think if the husband wants to complain, she should let the husband crack on. As long as it's clear, the complaint is coming from the husband and not from her, and then any fallout is on the husband. She doesn't like it, but she doesn't want to complain.

He doesn't like it, but he wants to complain. So at least he's trying to come up with a solution. That's not blinds, because she don't want blind. Yeah, but she seems to be saying, I don't want to complain, I don't want to get blinds, I don't want to see his dick, and it's like, well... Well, there's no, you need a solution. Yeah. You need to do one of these things.

And it sounds like you're settling on seeing his dick. Yeah. That seems like the worst solution. Maybe they could take their meals and eat them in the bathroom. Nice. Yeah, convert the bathroom into a kitchen, and the kitchen. into a bathroom. Yeah, and then that will show him

because he'll see them naked all the time. Yeah, in your exposed bathroom. A big nude off. The Great British Nudoff. When I was at uni, we used to live opposite a flat where we could see into the windows and the people in there

had no concept of the fact we could see in or they did know we could see in and they were just exhibitionists. But then, one of my friends started going out with someone who lived in that flat and it was just a horror show. Like, can you tell her that her... Oh my God, no.

But she was like, oh yeah, you know, that the people across the road can see everything your flatmates do and she was just like oh well that's fine they didn't care so like it didn't actually create any solution I suspect that if the husband here terrible why don't people have shame anymore probably the decline of organised religion am I being unreasonable is this spiteful interview situation so situation at work where we are interviewing for a post tomorrow

person A is already doing the post on a temp basis and was one of the people being interviewed tomorrow for the full time post A discussion has taken place where it was agreed that even if unsuccessful, they have proven themselves and so will be involved in the future development of the department in some capacity. They have now withdrawn at the last minute. Would it be spiteful if another appointment is made tomorrow for them to be completely removed from the department, despite the work they have done, thanks. I've been on interview panels and the best bit is when you sit down at the end to make your decision

and you say, colleagues, I have a spiteful idea. Yeah, I like the bit best where after the interviews you say all your spiteful comments about all the people that you've met that day. Yeah. You're like, oh my God, what was she thinking with that outfit? Yeah. Or you're like, oh, he had an awkward gait. His answers were so basic. So was his hair.

Yeah, the fact that she's introduced the word spiteful makes me think that on some level she is spiteful. It feels like maybe she's been told that she's a spiteful person and so now she's... just decided to own it. Oh, it's just like trying to make sure that no one can get her on it. Like, well, actually it's not spiteful because I've got 30 pages of Mumsnet that tells me that.

You really do. This thread's got 209 messages. Is that a normal amount? That's actually quite low. Goodness me. So it can get up to a thousand and then they close the thread and then people start a second one.

So there's one running at the moment that's like part three of a thread about a puzzle. I tried to find part one because I wanted to do it. But then when I realized that it was spiraling like this. It's like, you know what? Just leave them to it. This saga is too much for our little podcast. We'll have

to start a spin-off podcast. It's like serial where we just tell the story week by week. This is an in-depth story of one thread. When we get to the bottom of it. Of the puddle. No, let's start a Patreon. If we get any money at all, then we'll do the serialised puddles, Fred.

But back to the spiteful person. It seems weird that they were advertising for a specific post and the person who's doing the post on a temp basis applied for it and they said but if you're not good enough to do the post to say thank you you can still be organized in this department like no if I went for a job that I had already been doing and then I wasn't offered it and then they tried to make me continue doing work even though I wasn't offered the job I know I would say no to that

that's not a kindly offer yeah the whole implication here like the psychology behind it is implying that this person should be grateful for the opportunity to interview for a permanent post. And because they've withdrawn, they are not sufficiently grateful and therefore we're going to get rid of them completely. Yeah. Like, I'm not going to be super grateful that you've given me a job interview. For a post that I'm already doing.

For a person I'm already doing. It sounds entirely possible that this person applied for it, thinking, well, I'm currently doing this job, so I must be with a decent chance. And then they were offered the interview, but at the time they were offered the interview they were told if you don't get offered the job we're still going to ask for you to provide

your labour for our project which we don't deem you good enough to work on in the capacity which you're currently doing and at that point I too would withdraw I'd be like no they're all terrible these are the single worst people I have ever met I am withdrawing now thank you and goodbye

it sounds like the very offer of continuing to be involved in some capacity is the thing that was spiteful oh my God people think so much about like being offered opportunities. We don't want opportunities. We want job stability and security and decent pay. It's not opportunities.

I was talking to somebody about this the other day where you're doing a job and they pile on loads of additional responsibilities that aren't part of your job description. And they expect you to be grateful for the opportunity and you're like, I would be grateful for fucking commensurate pay. Yeah. And what they're describing in the last paragraph,

would it be spiteful if another appointment is made tomorrow for them to be completely removed from the department? That's just wrongful termination. that you're describing there. So no, it would be spiteful, but also it would be illegal. And we have employment tribunals to deal with that. Like, completely removed from the department. It's such weird terminology.

It really feels like Mr Burns and the hired goons. Yeah. Would it be spiteful to release the hounds after the interview and just have them chased off the premises? No, I hope personally has been offered another job somewhere without all these bizarre conditions and expectations of doing all this unpaid additional labour as a way of saying thanks. I hope Person A is going to be a blind salesperson.

I'm not Person A. This isn't a thread about me. Oh, good. No, my job's fine. This isn't your way of telling me you've been completely removed from the department. And now you have to sell blinds to naked people. Every time you say Howells' work today, Howells, I say, oh, fine, because I don't want to let you know that I was chased off stomach by hands. and now I'm doing some sort of multi-level marketing for a blinds company.

Blinds for nudes. Yeah. You go to blinds for nudes.com. Get blinds for your nudes. No, or we could do nudes for blinds, which is just audio description of nudes for people who are visually impaired. That's very good. Blinds for nutes, which is little blinds for newt terrarians.

Yeah, I like it. blinds for moods and something is a mood there's too much of a mood and you need to shut it down blinds for moons just to block out the moon hey the moon affects people

yeah that's why we need to block it out those big moons that make me cry like if I could put a blind over those yeah I wouldn't because it's good looking at the big moons that make you cry no actually I do enjoy them big moons that make me cry when it's full and also orange yeah that makes you

weep on control of luck. Welling up thinking about it. No, but on the red-handed podcast there's definitely a bit when they're talking about the moon affecting people. And they said on there, like, well, what affects the tides, the moon? What are people made of

70%? Water. Therefore, blinds for moons. Should we get back to the thread? Let's hear from what people say. So someone wants to kick someone out of their department for not attending a job interview, is that right? If that's the case, of course, it's spiteful on what actual grounds would this be done? Yeah, like us, they've gone past the

psychology of it to the legal ramifications of this. I mean, we don't normally jump straight to the legal ramifications, but the am I being unreasonable boards do. Yeah. Now, we took it at face value and answered, was it spiteful? Yes. And then is it illegal? Yes. Was it spiteful? Yes. But is it legal? No. Just because something's legal doesn't mean it's morally right, but also this is neither. And then someone has asked the big questions, why though? And then someone said, I've worked in HR for a number of years, and I don't recall spiteful being a professional term, someone needs to have a rethink.

And then someone, like, now it's moved on to people saying, well, why has she withdrawn? Why? Why? So suddenly the people who think that the boss is reasonable have turned up in force. Yeah, it's none of your business. It's none of the boss's business. They don't have to give you a reason. Yeah, withdrawing from stuff is perfectly fair

And I had an interview once And it was so combative And it was so unpleasant That I withdrew before I got home And the interview was less than a mile From where we live I called off the interview And I was like, I'm just withdrawing my application

They were like, oh, can I ask why? And I was like, no Like, because that's a thing you can do Because we're not indentured labour Yeah Is not, am I being unreasonable To think I shouldn't get strap-ons when I search for t-shirts on Amazon.

We're searching for a t-shirt for DS as a basis for a Halloween costume. Up pops a picture of an absurdly large fake penis, strapped on and sticking out. D.D. 8 was looking over my shoulder and was quite disturbed. Contacted customer services and they asked me for the reference number, so I had to click on the item. I did the same search again today, and I'm getting more ginormous willies,

but with different apparatus attached. For the avoidance of doubt, I've never bought any adult items on Amazon, or anywhere. Am I being unreasonable to think this stuff shouldn't come up if you're just searching for a T-shirt? Maybe she just needs to get a blind over her computer screen so that her DEDA won't be very disturbed. Yeah, blinds for Dildas. I don't understand. So you've actually just searched for Halloween t-shirt. I've gone to smile.com.com.

I've gone to smile.com.com. at UK, and search for Halloween t-shirt and I've got a cat with a knife saying what. Right. A t-shirt that makes it look like there's a chunk bitten out of you and the t-shirt says I'm fine. Yeah. This appears to be some bees with ghost costumes on and it says boobies. Wow, I mean, that's absurd.

That's inappropriate. If a child eight was looking over my shoulder, I'd report this. That is a very sexualised t-shirt, no doubt. Yeah, so... But I'm not getting a strap on. I'm not getting any strap on. There was just a great one there of the Beatles that said Stabby Road. Who designs these?

That is a good one. I mean, if she says that she's never searched for sex toys on Amazon, then I would take that at face value that she's never searched for sex toys on Amazon. But we need the search, then. If the search term was... Penus T-shirt. Well, yeah. But I was thinking of, like, maybe the kid wants to go to Halloween,

like a lot of kids do as Dick Turpin. Yeah. So you've just searched, Dick T-shirt. Yeah. And then you might get a strap on, and I would think, yeah, that's your own fault. Sure. That's your kid wanting to look like Dick Turpin. Maybe she wanted the kid to have a scary costume where, as they entered the room, they could be like, strap in, I'm coming.

Yeah, yeah. And so they've searched for strap-in t-shirt, and Amazon's been like, surely you mean strap-on. Maybe the kid wanted to go as their favorite character from Herman Melville's symbolist tone. about a whale Maybe the kid wanted to go as former president Nixon But in a jokey kind of colloquial way Dick is a killer Maybe they wanted to go as their favourite festive pudding

That is a year round treat The sponge cake with the raisins in it Got the ingredients, I might whip one up Whip up a dick This is a family podcast It's not It's not I put the explicit tag on every episode

It's a family podcast in the sense That we are married And our cats are in the same room And so on some metrics We are a family We are a family I think the issue is that I put in Flesh colour T-shirt

Yeah, here we go If anyone could search and see what they get It would be interesting I can post screenshots If anyone's disbelieving Don't post screenshots of dildos Oh my God So I did a search for flesh

for flesh colour t-shirt. And we can confirm that this poster's right. Holy hell. Why does it say t-shirt in the description when it's obviously not a t-shirt? It's obviously very much a cock. It says, vividly shaped. It describes it still as vividly shaped. X-Q, black and flesh-colour design of female artificial penis, silent, waterproof, medical, PVC material, manual massage stick, easy-to-carry, t-shirt. Why is the word t-shirt in there? shouldn't describe itself as a t-shirt. I've come right round on this, and this is a problem with the item. You can't just slip that on under a cosy sweater.

You certainly can't just slip that on under a cozy sweater else. Why does it say black and flesh-colored? Why does penis have an accent over the e? I'm trying to work out how you pronounce that. Pinesse. Yeah, it describes itself as a t-shirt, and it's not a t-shirt. It's, uh, as the description says, women's decompression massager.

Sure it is. Sure it is. It says it's lifelike. Delicate lines have prominent lines. Delicate lines have prominent lines. Vains upon veins is what that says. This is weird. Well, yeah.

I mean... I do have a question. They're not being unreasonable because we just searched for it and there it is. What colour is flesh colour though? It does it in black and... flesh colour, right? Oh, but black is just like black. Yeah, right. Not a brown skin tone. Yeah. So what I'm saying is the very fact that anyone was searching for the term flesh colour is weird. Yeah. Because it's

meaningless. Oh, I just tried your search and almost have my eyes put out. What? Have you got some sort of 3D Amazon where the product jumps out into your eyes? No, it is, it is big though. And very prominent. Lots of people are saying what I'm saying now, which is like, by flesh colour, do you mean sort of pink, because skin comes in lots of colours? So on that level, you're being unreasonable. And then lots of people saying, when have you ever seen a T-shirt that's been called flesh colour? You put in a daft description,

so Amazon gave you daft flesh-colour results. What, because Amazon's a pedantic dad. Ask a silly question, get a silly answer. Here's a massive tildo. Ask a silly question, get a silly penis. When clothes are sort of a white person's skin colour colour, they're described as nude, but I guess you don't want to be searching nude with your kids either.

No. Yeah. Amazon blinds for nude. And then lots of people are saying, why would you search Amazon with your kids around, which seems a bit much. Yeah, I don't think you should get that far. Yeah. We can still search Amazon. And someone says, this reminds me of when my nine-year-old was doing homework on the water cycle.

He'd been on a school trip to a water treatment plant, and they had cute water droplet characters called Gush and Flow. Oh, no. He Googled in images as he wanted pictures of them to put in his presentation. Even with Google's safe search enabled, you can imagine the images he got back. I remember him saying, Mum, why am I getting all these pictures of women with something wrong with their bits before I close the screen down?

Pulled a little blind over it. Really annoyed me, actually, as some intern at Sutton and East Surrey Water had obviously done it deliberately. Yeah, obviously. Oh yeah, definitely an intern has got the power to name the mascots and it would get through all of the things there.

Fuck off. That suggests that you don't have a sense of humour if you're an unpaid child. Yeah, I'm really not sure what you can name a water mascot that would be safe for children anyway. Squirt? No. No. No.

I don't know why you would name a water mascot. I don't know why you need a water mascot, but whatever. Yeah, and then the OPs come back to say, like, oh, stop saying it's my fault for searching for flesh-coloured. I think it's a problem with the item description. Amazon don't need to act on it because they're a private company. Yeah. But, you know, you can raise it with them if you want.

I think it is weird to describe something as a T-shirt when it's not a T-shirt. Yeah. I think that's very much on the seller and not on the O.P. Yeah. And then someone's just said, oh my God, free delivery, arrives Monday. There we go. So, with that, should we do one more speed round? Am I being unreasonable, three persons worth of sick leave.

All right. Sounds like a great amount of sick leave. And Am I being unreasonable to ask you why so many children have anxiety these days? It's a mystery. It's a mystery. Probably the horrible world we live in. Going to all these neurodiverse clubs after school. Trying to buy T-shirts and being confronted with giant dildos.

It's a tough world. out there. Trying to eat their dinner and there's just a nudie man. Yeah. Very anxiety-inducing. It's a tough, tough world. But we're here to make sense of it every other week. Yeah. Please do book tickets for our boulevard theatre show on the 8th of December. It's going to be a Christmas special. We're going to delve into all the terrible Christmas strides. Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year on Mum's Net. People manage to find things to be worried about that have never crossed my mind. Please do come along. Tickets

from Boulevard Theatre website. Do it. If you're listening on the day this kind of, comes out, or the day after it comes out, then I have a show at the Vagina Museum in Camden at 6.30pm on Saturday 9th of November. It's my show Smashing It, a game show about capitalism and patriarchy. Dick is at £8, available to the Vagina Museum website. Please do come along. It'll be super good fun. It will. I'm still doing occasional film reviews at Take On Cinema.net. So go there, look for Simon. Super. Followers on Twitter at at Y. Be Unreasonable. If you have any, am I being unreasonable threads from Mum's

that you want us to look at, send us a DM, slide into our DMs. Thank you for listening. Bye! Thanks, bye.