You Are Being Unreasonable - 059 - In which we fry Gregg Wallace in a big pan

Episode Date: December 5, 2019

"We're not saying people have to stop: we just wish they would." As the Christmas season approaches, we're thinking about our Christmas dinner: a roasted Gregg Wallace, too much sriracha sauce and Neopolitan layered Angel's Delight pudding in an ornate crystal bowl. This week, we get into TV cooks who use too many utensils and the differences in portion control between gourmet cooking and cooking at home, cover versions versus originals and those slow piano covers for John Lewis ads, inventive ways of eating Angel's Delight, and calling people cockwombles, wankspatulas, twunts, and the like.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when their prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that. Hello.

Hello. Welcome to you are being unreasonable, the podcast about people being unreasonable on mumset.com. We both have colds. We do. You can hear it in our voices. Sorry about that. If there's ASMR for people who have colds, then this is a show for you. I guess so. I don't know if that's a thing or not. I imagine it must be.

Well, we just don't know. Now, there's no way to find out without delving into the murky depths of YouTube. I don't want to go looking for people who have ASMR about colds. I don't think they're the people that I want in my life. They will not spark joy. We're not going to share this on ASMR Twitter. No. Shall we do a speed round? Yeah.

Am I being unreasonable to take Brexit personally? No, I do. Am I being unreasonable to have got it so wrong? On Brexit? Yeah. Am I being unreasonable to ask where I can buy jeans and trousers for tall fat women with small waists and big bottoms? I don't know, tall fatwomen.com? And am I being unreasonable?

Singing a long musical to cause such upset. Oh no. You shouldn't sing along. I thought everyone knew this. Yeah. This has been like... Just under your breath. Some musicals even have signs up saying, we're sure you're a great singer and everything,

drunk hen parties, but please shut up. Yeah. We're sure you can replicate the cadence of Lafayette, but you don't have to demonstrate it during Hamilton. I think if I went to a musical when it had signs up explicitly telling you that you shouldn't sing along, I would realise that musical was not aimed at me, it was aimed at basic bitches.

And I would turn around and leave. Just turn around. There are some musicals that are... Turn around. The Bunny Tyler musical. The Bunny Tyler Jukebox musical. See, I wouldn't be able to go to that because I would be the basic bitch singing along.

Yeah. Should we do a full thread? Please. Am I being unreasonable to wish people would give the Tweed insults a rest? It just feels like some people are still spitting their tea out over the first cockwomble 500 million years ago. So often someone will pose something genuinely nasty or upsetting that they're dealing with

And in among the thoughtful responses, you'll see, You are not being unreasonable. He's a cuntwibble, arsebag and tit-carrots, insert one-syllable swear word, followed by arbitrary two-syllable noun. No other contribution. They just wanted to get that in there, in the hope of a PSML user 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, won the internet today. It's old.

Tell me I'm not the only one who cringes when this happens. And anticipating the, You're not the Mumset Police Brigade. I'm not saying people have to stop, Just that I wish they would. That's the theme of so much of our podcast. We're not saying people have to stop, just we wish they would. Yeah, we're not policing things.

Yeah. We're not the police. We're just people who find everything very, very tiring. Yeah, we're not telling you to stop knocking down our door. We just wish you would. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Now, this seems fine.

It is a big thing on Mumset, and it is very tedious. It's a big thing on... I used to be a librarian, and it's a big thing on library Twitter. Oh. Because library Twitter doesn't want to use actual words. like fuck they want to say bitch wagon or cock muffin like if one of these examples what's the one cunt wibble I can see that one happening but by the time you've got past the first syllable the damage is done yeah that one's too much like if you want to say

that first syllable but you're trying to be twee about it why not describe someone as a country gentleman just chucking wibble on the end like you wouldn't do that with slurs would you? No, Jeremy Clarkson is a real country gentleman. Exactly. Asswagon, like, I mean there is a phrase, that wagon you're dragon, very much from the 90s. It's good. But that

just sounds like you're saying someone has got a big, but very nice, bum. Yeah. That ass wagon. That shitmonger. A shitmonger seems like someone who sells shit. Yeah. It makes it a good description for someone. Yeah, a shitmonger makes sense if someone's like a Daily Mail journalist or

Laura Coonsberg. But look, These are all bad. But yeah. Just say, he's a shit. Well, should we hear from the threads? He, she, they are shit. I think, you know who's to blame for this? Who?

Charlie Brooker. Because when Charlie Brooker used to write for the Guardian, he had all these inventive little phrases. And people have forgot, now that he's big and writing Black Mirror and is a international megastar, married to Connie Hook. Yeah. People have forgotten that he started making up these twee little sweary phrases. But it was him.

Yeah. That's funny actually, because Charlie Brooker is the last person I would call Twy. Yeah, and yet, he made his career off being Tweetin the Guardian. Well, I used to love reading Charlie Brookers a little bit in the, what was it called, the G2? In the G2, yeah, we all did, but I think he's responsible for this shift in discourse. Little teenage hells reading Charlie Brooker's opinions on TV shows I haven't watched. Yeah, Saturday morning, I'll read Charlie Brooker's opinions. Yeah.

What way with words he has. He's called Jamie Clarks and a cockwomble Let's hear from the thread So someone says I agree I cringe every time I read Wank Spatula or similar But their username is Chateau Nourf

Du Twat Ah, we're getting into glass houses now aren't we It feels like we are Maybe you don't throw those stones You'll shatter your glass walls Yeah If you have a glass house Where does wall begin and window start

I don't know Philosophical To the window to the wall. Just lots of people looking confused. Yeah, where? They should be waving their arms. They're just shrugging like Alan Partridge.

I'm waving through the window. Which window? Someone else on the thread has said, My name is a cockwomble. It perfectly sums him up. No, it doesn't. Not unless he's... It doesn't.

Unless he is a womble shaped like a dildo. Oh. Cockwumble is the stupidest non-insult I've ever heard. It doesn't even come close to meaning anything. Like Twant. Oh, I'd forgotten that Twunt was a thing people said. Silly. Yeah.

Is this a British thing, do you think? It all sounds very British. It all sounds very Monty Python in a way that I don't think you'd get in France or America. Oh my God, if I heard a French person saying cockwamble, I would know that they were definitely taking the piss. Yeah, they're laughing at us. He is a cockwomble. Like, yep, yep, you're laughing at us. Great.

You think that I'm the cockwomble. Oh, yeah, I drink my tea. I eat plain toast. I call people cockwombol. I'm English. Someone said, I've just come from a thread where someone said cock nostril. Wow. The thing to making these up is getting an object and then a swear word and putting them together.

As the OPE says, single syllable swear, two syllable down. Twat cushion. Fuck oven chips. Just a fuck oven. Too few syllables. There's a skill. There is a skill. I can't just do it off the top of my head by looking around.

Yeah. He's a right shit curtain. It's a real tit-to. Yeah, this is, it's surprisingly hard, but just because something's hard, doesn't mean it is a skill. Twat Yoda. Let's move on, shall we? Or twat baby Yoda for the SEO. Yeah, but then the syllables don't mark.

Damn it. It's only worked if it was twat baby, and that is grim. That's not okay. It has to be twat baby Yoda or nothing. Yeah. Well, yeah. Should we, uh, should we move on? Yeah, this person's a wank puffing.

No! No. Am I being unreasonable to think cooks on TV, use too many utensils watching Master Chef OMG I wouldn't have the space to store all those pans and whisks and no energy to clean up after am I being unreasonable to think that a one pan challenge

would be good A one pan challenge One big pan, one big pan big enough for Greg Wallace to sit in Well like when you go to the Christmas markets And there's always like a A Bratverse stall that has just like a pan size of a room Just filled to the brim with sausages No, slowly, put Greg Wallace in the big pan

And roosting his own juices Flip him a few times Imagine his little face That Greg Wallace could serve us all at Christmas time And then you could have a little Greg Wallace Curry, couldn't you? On Boxing Day You there, boy, go to the bunches and get me the Greg Wallace The one as big as me, sir

Bigger The one as big as Greg Wallace You there, Greg Wallace Go to the but just don't buy anything, come back, pop in a pan. I think they've missed the point that currently it's Master Chef the Professionals that's on. They need to use very professional things, like a fish whisker. Like, is that an insult?

Professionals, like, the joy of Master Chef the Professionals is watching people make these really elaborate things that you couldn't make at home. I don't want some tired mum making a one pan pasta bake. I think I do, because the portions on Master Chef the Professional. professional art, very small. But that's a different show. Very small. That's a very different show though, isn't it? Like... I want Master Chef, Big Pasta Big. No, it's a different show. It'd be like watching the sewing bee and being like,

I don't know why they don't just use Wonderweb. Like, the point is that it's a skill that not everyone has and they're using these... No, this is nonsense. You've watched a Great British Bake Off and be like, just for once I'd like to see a Betty Crocker mix. They're missing the point! I use too many utensils when I cook. That's because you cook like a top-down video. We cover this. about every third episode. I get a load of small ramekins and fill them with my ingredients.

So I've got all the ramekins prepared. You are all about the mizond place. Exactly. They discuss this on Judge John Hodgeman, right? A few weeks ago. And I was like, yes, that's me. I went all the ingredients laid out before me. Absolutely not. That's ridiculous. I don't want to measure while I'm cooking. I want to measure, cook, eat in that order. We're different. We're different, you and I. Yeah. It does result in a lot of washing up, but it makes me calmer when I'm cooking. Yeah, which is fine. So I don't mind it a stressful endeavour.

Yeah. So I would use a lot of utensils. Yeah, fair enough. A different spatula for each thing. So what you're saying is... A fish spatula, a chicken spatula, a beef spatula because we're having fish chicken beef. You want the worst of all worlds. You want not professional quality food because you want big portions of fish chicken beef.

I have big portion. But you want professional quality use of utensils. So you want to use as many utensils as possible to make a one pan dish. Yes. Yes. Yes. So it is a one-planned dish, because the Mies-on-place, you've used 38 individual ramequins. Yeah, I want gourmet food and a lot of it.

Like we went on our honeymoon and ate that delicious risotto. There's loads of that. And that was a starter. And then when the main turned up, that was tommy. Yeah, the main in comparison to the starter was a disappointment. The main was... It was great. One cubed inch of beef and then a small slider for no reason.

Loved it. Yeah, it was very odd. Especially that risotto. Gourmet. risotto at the portions that I would make myself at home. Fantastic. Very good. Let's go back to this thread, shall we? Someone said, oh, it's just product placement. Well, it's not because it's the BBC, so they don't do product placement. Yeah. And if they are doing product placement, they can't accept any money for it, so...

What's the wine? Yeah. Backhander from Big Brevel. Someone said, may I suggest they do Christmas lunch with a roasting tin, a baking tray, and one saucepan? It's master chef. The clue is in the world. master. It's not personally who lives in a bed sit trying to get by chef. It's not I'm exhausted and my family are going to be ungrateful whatever I feed them, chef. It's master chef.

I think this would be a good challenge though. On a different program. No, on Master Chef. Just have one week where you have to select your implements beforehand and you can only take like two or three and then you have to so there's a whole array of them, a whole

buffet table full of full of utensils but you have to pick free. Okay, now I'm totally on board with this because now I understand what you're saying is it's like ready, steady cook but rather than you bring the bag of ingredients, you bring the utensils. You have unlimited ingredients, but you

only have the utensils you brought. So if you decide that you want to make for example a risotto, but all you brought was a roasting dish and a whisk then good luck. You don't find out what you're supposed to make until you get to the studio. With

the stuff you've brought. Yeah. Yeah. So you've got a roasting tin and a whisk, and they say, make a fine soup, and you're like, shit, I'm going to have to do it in this roasting tin. Yeah. I'm going to have to try and just mash it with a whisk because I don't have a blender. Yeah.

That's what really separates the men from the boys, as it were. And then at the end, the soups chefs. Like, you're roasting your vegetables. They're like, did you bring oven mitts? So you're like, no. They're like, well. Good look. Looks like someone's going to have to make the ultimate sacrifice.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I'm a mits count as an utensil for the purposes of this challenge. Or you can take your pants off. Oh, no. Yeah, pant mitts. Another insult. Like a pant mitts over there, getting his roasting dish out with his pants, used as mitts. Looks like someone's getting roasted, and it's pant mitts. Nice.

Yeah, no, I've done a whole flip on this. I still think that the O.P. is being deliberately obtuse about Master Chef, the professionals, but I do think there's a market for this show. Yeah. The market for this show might well be, should we pitch it to Taskmaster? Maybe they want it. I don't know if you could get a full series out of it. No, they're on Channel 4 now, so they're probably too big for us. Whereas when they're on Dave, yeah. Take any old shit. Not, you know, not impuging Dave. If anyone on Dave wants to give us a TV version of this format, we sincerely apologise. If Dave himself is listening. You've blown it. Someone said, I always hate it when they don't scrape all the food out of the bowl into the pan,

so there's always three carrots or bits of rice left over. Again, it's about professional chefs making the finest quality food. I don't want them to waste valuable television time as someone chases that last grain of rice out of a bowl to try and get it into the pan. By far and away, the cooking show you much most is the pioneer woman on Food Network. Absolutely, and she is a one-dish kind of woman. That is not gourmet cooking. Oh no, she's like, I'm doing 16.

minute one pan meals. She just like throws a load of butter in a pan and then hurls whatever she's got in there and then tips cream out of like a gallon jug and it's just like puts it in the freezer and she's like this will be ready in 16 minutes and it comes out and it's just like slightly colder buttery cream. It's like oh delicious. You've paid it quite a picture there. Yeah. But I mean that's crazy because she's got so much room on that ranch. Yeah. She could have loads of utensils. I watched an episode. She could fill that guest house room. I watched an episode yesterday where she was making meals that college students could cook in their dorms. And she was like, for every dorm you need a microwave.

For every dorm you need a tea kettle. Like, imagine rocking up to your dorm room and you've got a mini fridge, a tea kettle, a microwave that you're just going to plug into your power socket that's probably only intended for like a phone charger. Oh, yeah. In America, you can't plug a teacel in? No. No, you can't. Take that charge.

But then she used the tea kettle to make, as Americans call it, ramen noodles, just super noodles. What you're saying is extremely offensive to ramen, the real food. Just instant noodles. I call everything noodles in America. Spaghetti is noodles. Yeah. A few sillies noodles.

Yeah. Lazzanias is noodles. Lanzania is noodles. Lanzania is just big, flat noodles. They talk about lasagna noodles all the time. But yeah, she made this ramen noodle dish, and she was like, ramen noodles come in a seasoning packet.

So she put the seasoning packet in, and then she put the ramen noodles in. And then she put a whole tablespoon of saraheer in, which I think is quite a lot for a single serving. And then she put in a whole tin of baby corn and a whole tin of straw mushrooms and then, like, loads of sliced up spring onions, and then she poured the hot water on it.

Then she put another tablespoon of saratia, and she was like, what a quick and easy meal. Is it? Like, why have you fannyed around for so long? Yeah. This is insane. Too much. Too much.

Yeah. No, the pioneer woman, she does the sort of home cooking that this person wants to see, and I am all for that, but I don't think all shows should be home cooking. No, they can't be. We need a good variety. Don't home cooking shows.

competitive cooking shows yeah cooking shows where Mary Berry just flirts with their guests yeah we need the whole mix the whole package yeah and now people are talking about how you have to pre-soak the dishes when you make a carbonara

that's crazy and now they're saying that 15 minute meals don't exist so what I've come to conclude is these people are terrible cooks 15 minute meals do exist they tend not to be the one pound ones because the one pound ones tend to be roasting dishes but you can't cook don't begrudge master chef for existing

that's all I'm saying on this Should we move on? Can't cook, won't cook. Can't cook, don't cook. Am I being unreasonable, cover versions shouldn't be direct copies of the originals. They keep playing Sam Smith's new version of Donna Summers' I Feel Love on Radio 2. What on earth is the point of it? Why did anybody, I think I can guess who,

see the need for Sam to go to the trouble of recording and releasing a song that sounds almost identical, but not as well sung as the original? Even the instrumentation sounds very much like a direct copy. Surely a cover version is meant to be a different interpretation of a song, isn't it? At least bring a little something extra or alternative to the table. Like them or not, I'm thinking of meaningful and well-thought-out covers, such as Cindy Lauper versus Roy Orbison with I Drove All Night. Dolly Parson versus Whitney Houston with I Will Always Love You.

Ducky McLean versus Amy MacDonald with Caledonia. Prince versus Sheney O'Connor with nothing compares to you. If it's a tribute act or a local karaoke competition, then that's all well and good. But if it's just commercially released and available to buy or listen in exactly the same place as the identical original, is it just me? No. Again, unprecedentedly, I agree with this poster, like the first poster. Wow. I think they're right. The worst for this is any cover of Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah, which just does the same, but less good. Yeah.

There's no, I'm sure there are different covers out there. But the majority, I'm thinking like your Leona Lewis's, are just the same, but worse. So when the Leona Lewis one came out, I remember a friend of mine saying to me, I preferred the originals, originals, plural. The originals, the Jeff Buckley's. Yeah. I preferred Jeff Buckley's original version. And I sort of blinked, and then she said, you know, the originals, the Jeff Buckley one and the original one.

The Jeff Buckley one's not the original one. Yeah. Don't bracket that in with the originals. But does that mean that, like, if someone doesn't cover and then someone else doesn't cover, now everything before the most recent one is one of the originals? No, you can't co-op this. Is it like Doctor Who? I think they're right, though.

A good cover, you should come to own in a different way to the original artist. So they've mentioned Chenade O'Connor's Nothing Compares to You. Yeah. I would say Cheenade owns that in a way that Prince doesn't anymore. Like, you think of Sheenade O'Connor and you think of nothing compares to you. Same with Johnny Cash and Nineties. nails, so hurt. He owns that now. Yeah, and the people are always like, it's a Johnny Cash song.

It's like, it's not. Like, you can think it's better, that's fine, and you can think that Johnny Cash is a superior artist, but you can't erase the fact that Nine Inch Nails did write the song. Oh yeah, I'm not trying to do that. No. I'm just saying, so it's still their song, they need the original, but the cover is so good. Yeah, absolutely. The cover is so distinctive. And I think that's the point of a cover. Yeah. And I mean, I will always love you. The Whitney version. There are so many people that don't even know that was ever a Dolly Parton song. I didn't know that was a Dolly Patton song. How? You've known my dad for years. My dad gets very uptight about this because he loves Dolly. I've never brought it up. But, you know, people do think that's a

Whitney Houston song. I have no idea what this Cindy Lauper versus Roy Orbison thing is. But I wish it was like how in the 90s, if something was artist versus artist, they meant it was a mashup of the two because I would be here for the Cindy Lauper. Oh yeah. Roy Orbison mashup. The way they've put versus in this is very choice. I want to know what they mean by this. Why did anybody, in brackets, I think I can guess who, see the need for Sam to go to the trouble of recording? Oh yeah, I wonder who. I don't know who they mean. Yeah. Donna Summers? Sam Smith? Imagine you're sitting at home one day and Donna Summers knocks on your door. Sam, it's time for you to do that cover. You know why. What, so only Sam Smith and Donna Summer know why. Yeah. Donna Somers got something on him,

some blackmail, some illicit blackmail. I just don't understand. Like, is this just mum set being turfy? Or is there some sort of conspiracy that I've missed because I've had a cold so I haven't been keeping up on the latest Donna Summer, Sam Smith conspiracy theories? Are you implying that they think it's the trans women and the trans men that are doing this? Yeah. I've got Sam Smith to recall Donna Somers.

You don't spend as much time diving into these boards as I do. I think that is a plausible thing that this poster might be getting up. Why? I don't know. I'm not one of them. I can recognise a phenomenon without being able to explain it. Fair enough. But apart from that, they're weird conspiracy stuff.

I think they're right. I think a cover version should be distinctive. Yeah. Our first dancer, our wedding, was to a cover version. It was. It was to the Cindy Lauper versus Royal Orbison mashup of I Drove All Night. Yeah, it's more accurate to say it was a mashup. Cindy Lapa versus Roy Arbison

But what about if someone does a cover version The way they make it their own It's to make it so tweed That you can use it in the John Lewis ad Every year now Oh no We just get a tweee cover Yeah

Someone takes a song that used to have a bit of energy And a bit of heart to it And they just make it a bit like this That's the worst kind of cover If you've slowed it down And you've taken out all the instruments Apart from a single guitar You might have fucked it

Or a single piano Yeah if you've changed it to the point where it could plausibly be used, not only for the John Lewis ad, but also for an ad about reducing your speed, so you do not kill a child, then don't, just don't. You know what covers I like? What covers to you? Yeah.

Postmodern Duke Box covers. Yeah. I think they're fun, and they change it in a 1920s, 1930s way. Yeah. And it's a fun way of reappeating the song. You know what I like? I like when they put a donk on it. Great.

I'm going to take all of the songs that sound like they should be John Lewis ad song. but like in their original form and then I'm going to put more instruments and speed it up and turn it into something completely the opposite that way and then that can become the new Christmas trend it's good yeah it's good

it seems like covers are a Christmas thing is this because of like reality shows I think so where they have to do covers because they don't have time to write a song I'm pretty sure that's it yeah so covers seem to have dominated the Christmas number ones I will say pop stars the rivals Girls Aloud, the greatest act to come out of any talent competition.

Sound of the Underground was an original song. They wrote a song because the format of that was they knew that they were going to have a girl band or a boy band or whatever. They had time, they had a song. There must be loads of songs waiting in the wings that I can just give to someone. Sound of the Underground was a banger. I think there clearly is a song waiting to be reinvented in this way. And we all know what it is. We're just waiting for people to do it.

What is it? It's Oano Co Flo by, ain't you? Yeah? Yeah. strip out all the synth and all the layered singing and just strip it back to a single piano that would be so haunting think about how haunting it already is real hauntinging sail away sail away sail away no someone started talking about west life doing that cover of uptown girl and i don't have the energy to find out if they think that's good or bad just no just no let's do

another thread shall we this is a listener suggestion so thank you for that who's it from Carolyn T. Thanks, Carolyn. Am I being unreasonable about Angel Delight? I think layering different flavours of Angel Delight would be nice. D.H. thinks the flavours should be kept separated to maintain their integrity. I'm referring to banana, chocolate and butterscotch. Not strawberry.

Even I wouldn't go that far. Don't at me if you don't like Angel Delight. We couldn't be friends. There we go. An unprecedented three out of four. Wow. That I agree with. I don't see any harm in this.

What you do within the privacy of your own home with Angel Delight is entirely up to you. What I would like to know, okay, I've got a couple of things I'd like to know. I have a few questions, but yeah, go ahead. You can buy Angels Delight now in little tubs, like, hot chocolate tub, so you can just use the amount that you want, and then you can keep the rest of the cupboard for later. Yeah. So if you do that, there is absolutely no harm in trying this.

Like, is the DH saying, no, you can't use a couple of spoonfuls for each of these tubs that we have in because of the integrity? Because that seems very mean-spirited. but if they don't have those and they're having to use three whole sachets and there's only two of them there that's way too much angel delight

in case it goes wrong but also for two people that means they're going to have to be angel delight like every meal to be clear we're talking about making three separate angel delights and then stacking them on top of each other

yeah so you get the powder you put it in the milk you make it you put it to one side maybe in a ramekin sure we're not talking about mixing up the powders No, because that would be blear. Yeah, it just occurred to me that that might be what they're talking about.

No. That's terrible. Very clearly says layering. Yeah. Not mixing. Layering. Yeah, good. Because that one, no, I don't want to be associated with that.

No. I find it interesting that they want to use banana, chocolate and butterscotch, which are the beigeest, brownest mix of things. I'm not sure what the objection to strawberry is. I like strawberry a lot. Strawberry Angel Delight is delicious. Yeah, so why not include it in this Neapolitan of Angel they like. Yeah, it might make things look a bit better. Banana flavor anything is bad. I wouldn't

have banana. I would have butterscotch, chocolate and strawberry to mimic the classic Neapolitan ice cream. Exactly. It's tried and true. Yeah. Have everyone got that Neapolitan vionetta? Delicious. That was the classiest thing I've ever done. Yeah. It was this year. It was 2019 when we got a Neapolitan Vionetta. And everyone was thrilled to see it. Of course they were. delicious. Yeah.

Spice up your dinner parties with a Neopolis and Vionetta. Exactly. Or a Neapolitan Angel Delight. I think the husband sounds extremely joyless that he won't even countenance trying it. Yeah, let's try it, man. Who cares? And to be honest, I've said... It's like a trifle.

I've said it's very wasteful, you'd have to make loads. But, like, food waste is bad, but you could always put it in the bin. It wouldn't be the worst turn of events if you had to put some Angel Delight in the bin. Yeah. Give it to a homeless person, even. Hello, I made this Angel Delight concoction. Would you like it, homeless person? Oh, I've suffered it off.

Oh, I'll eat it then, in front of you. That's like the opposite of Cambridge students burning money in front of homeless people. Yeah. Just a sad mum's death are eating an angel delight neapolitan. Eating an angel delight neapolitan that they don't want in front of them. What's the minimum number of utensils you can use to make this? So let's imagine that what you do is you have like, obviously you need an ornate crystal bowl so everyone can see the layers.

That much is clear. Obviously. Yeah, you need like an ornate crystal bowl. Yeah. and then you have like let's say a jug that you make the first batch in so you make what goes on the bottom chocolate you don't want the chocolate seeping through you want chocolate at the bottom yeah because it's darkest yeah so you make your chocolate in the jug yeah and then you pour it into your ornate crystal bowl yeah and you put it in the fridge so so far we have his crystal bowl jug and

fork spoon but while while that's setting you can rinse out that jug because you don't need to do a proper wash up of it you just need to rinse out so there's no chocolate bits left And that's when you make your butterscotch in the same jug. I want to put the strawberry next, but go on. Oh, I was going for the flavours that this person was using. Ah. But yes. Yeah.

In that case, I'd put banana on the top to get it out of the way. Exactly. This is just a sad bit we have to get through. Just we must traverse the banana before we can enjoy this. Yeah. At this point, you've just got your crystal bowl and your jug and your fork. Ornate crystal bowl. It's very ornate.

Ornate crystal fork. Yes. Ornate crystal fork. Yes. You're in a crystal house. Go on for a stones Exactly And then you pull that on top

And you leave it to set And you rinse out your jug You rinse off your fork And then you do your third layer You're banana Because you're a monster Yeah gross, weird That is a waste of crystal

A waste of fine crystal A waste of fine crystal But you do you Whatever And your guests get here And they're going to be appalled And then you do the same And you do that

And then you set it And then you wash up your jug And you wash up your fork And you can wash up your bowl Once your guests have marvelled At your beautiful creation Yeah, not many utensils used, and you've ended up with a nice, distinct cover version of Neapolital ice cream. You've ended up with a stunning centrepiece.

A stunning centrepiece. Yeah, why not scatter some rose petals over it? Or some hundreds and thousands. It feels like we burnt our bridges with Dave earlier in the episode. But maybe that we could get in with the Food Network. I love the Food Network. This format could be a food show. we have often discussed how the things that people cook on mums that are terrible and i was talking about making a zine of all the recipes that i've found on mums there yeah including macaroni cheeser yorkshire pudding yeah this neapolitan angel delight yeah oven chips as a dinner party appetiser

i'm going to make this scene and i'm going to put a link when this goes out and you can buy it for christmas wow yeah i'm going to get it done today you're going to have to i will maybe tomorrow But by the time you're listening to this, I will have made this scene. And that is a promise. That's a hell's promise. That is a promise and a threat. You know how to edit out these promises? Yeah, so if you want to buy our zine, all profits will go to mermaids. Mermaids are going to contact us and ask to stop supporting, aren't they?

Please stop supporting us. You're terrible. Please, you're doing more damage. We struggle enough without people seeing our logo on this terrible zine, suggesting that you put macaroni cheese in a Yorkshire pudding, and making the Neapolitan Angel Delight is a stunning centrepiece. Someone said, I think it certainly needs to be tried. I love it when maybe use the passive voice for no reason.

It needs to be tried. Yeah, like they don't want to say any one person should have to try it. They're not going that far. That would be rude. No. But it does need to be tried. Someone here said, I think it would be classy. Do it in a glass bowl so you can see the layers.

Yeah, see, we're so on sync with Mum's Net this week. Oh no. Oh no. No, I think mum's nut is getting better, not we're getting worse. Wow, someone said that when they were little, they'd have strawberry jelly with strawberry angel delight on top. It's going in the scene. That sounds delicious. I think I had that.

Really? Yeah. You know, it's my birthday soon. I'm aware. Can I have strawberry jelly with strawberry angel delight on top, please? I don't see why not? I think even know I can make that. Yes!

Just lay out my little ramekins. Post some pictures of the muse on place for that. And someone said, We mix banana and buttercotch to get bonoffy. Wow. Now, mixing, bad. Fine. You mix banana, butterscotch and chocolate.

You're just going to end up with brown sludge. I'm just going to give you one more little snippet from this thread. I had an ex who did this once, although it involved strawberry. It was the single best thing he did in our relationship. Wow. How long were they together? She says the ex did it once, one time during their relationship. You're always just waiting for them to do it again, hoping.

Yeah, they feed you. that hope and they snatch it away. That's how they get you. That's a red flag. That is a red flag. Leave the bastard. She already has. It's fine. Folks, if men give you lay an angel delight, that's a red flag. Shall we do one more speed round? Yeah. Am I being unreasonable to think that Mums There is becoming increasingly less feminist and that this... Is that it? Yeah. Yeah, it sounds like Mums There is not very feminist in terms of intersectionality.

Well, yeah, my feminism will be intersectional or it will be bullshit. So mums there is bullshit And am I being unreasonable To now prefer cats to dogs Oh I wonder what happened Bad experience with a dog perhaps Or a great experience with a cat The cat served a mixed layer

Angel Delight I'm a glass half full person It was a great experience for the cat And that glass is crystal And it is filled with angel delight Thank you very much for listening Look out for our zine Yeah look out for our zine

The recipes of mums there And yeah have fun We've got a live show this Sunday in London. Yep. So if you happen to be in London this weekend, come on down. Yeah, it's at 6.30. It's at the Boulevard Theatre in Soho. Thanks a lot.

Bye!