You Are Being Unreasonable - 061 - In which we throw latte art parties for children

Episode Date: January 2, 2020

"Bonkers or normal?" Another year; another You Are Being Unreasonable. Please settle yourself down for the annual shareholder's meeting of YABU Industries. We start the year by pondering if instant coffee is a disaster at a child's birthday party, how you get recruited by MI5 and MI6 and meeting spies in fields, the history of French plaits and their cinematic representation, and how we should all answer the phone in 2020.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when their prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day. Hello.

Welcome to Your Being Unreasonable, the podcast about people being unreasonable on Mumset.com. Presented by me, Helen. And me, Simon. It's 2020. It is. What do we want to do with the podcast in 2020? Welcome to this board meeting of the European Unreasonable Stakeholders. Obviously, build a brand, achieve cross-platform synergy.

What do you mean by cross-platform synergy? I want to be acquired by Disney. Okay. Good luck. I don't. So, really, we should have set this up. so that one of us had a majority stake. Yeah, 50-50.

Yeah. It really comes down to us the strongest will. Yeah, which is you. So we're not being acquired by Disney. But maybe we'll get a new mic. Yeah, maybe. More guest stars. Yeah.

I think we're also underestimating the will of Disney not to acquire us. I think that would have been the deciding factor, even if I've been on board. We'll see what they bring to the table. I don't think they will bring anything to the table. They won't come to the table. The table's empty. The table's bare. Yeah.

It's just us sitting on one side Waiting for Disney In a big boardroom A big table Should we do a speed round? Yeah Am I being unreasonable Anyone else is DH a lazy fucker

Or just mine Lots Lots are lazy fuckers Am I being unreasonable Rules when renting a holiday place Bonkers or normal We can just do The Speed Round with Bonkers or Normal

Now Am I being unreasonable Boris Watch thread one. Bunkers. I assume that's inspired by the Trump threads of which there are hundreds. Are they? Yeah. Like day, whatever it is now,

500 or so. Yeah, there's a constant stream of Trump threads and am I being unreasonable? I don't read them. Yeah, they're on Trump thread 98. Trump thread 98. Happy impeachment. Next step is removal. Trump thread 98. Trump thread 98. And am I being

unreasonable not to meet the ride on Brie cheese. Lighthearted. Bunkers. That rind is great. I mean, it's fine. It's edible. If someone got you brie and it was just rind the whole way through, like as you were slicing, you realised it never changed. A puff of air comes out as I pierce the surface. Oh, no, I'm not picturing it hollow. I'm saying it's all rind. No, that might not be great. Some sort of trick brie. Why? I got you the trick brie. Let's do a thread, shall we? Am I being unreasonable? Recruitment for MI5 slash MI6.

Am I being unreasonable to think they find you, you can't apply? Does anyone know how this happens? They appear to have an application process, but I'm not sure what they're looking for. An ex of mine was contacted by them after his degree, in computers and maths, I think. But according to him, not sure if true or bullshit, he'd have to meet them in a field, and he never bothered. I have a DS who's interested in this field. It's not something that you really see discussed. I'm not sure what area of it he's interested in

He just finds it fascinating really Do they really take applications Or is it a case of them hunting you down, L.O.L. He'd have had to meet them in a field And he never bothered. This person is obviously bullshitting. Yeah. And then in the next sentence...

Billy Bullshit, who has agreed on computers. And then in the next sentence she says, I have a DS who is interested in this field. Does she mean the field, as in the literal field, you have to go meet... That's how it sounds. It sounds like the field is like the extraction point on hunted. Hmm.

I'm interested in the field. Yeah. He wants to be a farmer and he wants to know about how MI5 and agriculture coexist in this field. Where is this field? But she's misunderstood and thinks he wants to be a spook. Yeah. I had a Billy Bullshitter ex-boyfriend who wanted to apply for MI5 slash MI6 and he said, oh yeah, the thing about applying for MI5 slash MI6 is you're not allowed to tell me when you've applied.

but he told me this in the pub after too many drinks after we'd split up and I said I'm pretty sure if you're not allowed to tell anyone that definitely applies to ex-girlfriends who you haven't seen in a while Yeah this is bad spying And he said I think it's fine

So I think what we know is MI5 and MI6 are just full of people's bullshitting ex-boyfriends I think if they can't find you then you don't get to be in MI5 or MI6 Because by definition they cannot find you But they're the ones you need, the ones who cannot be found.

But where are they? But where are they? They're not anywhere. Can't find them. I don't know. You need to find James Bond to say, look, you can work for us. That's true, yeah. You can't just somehow put a message out, like, if you cannot be found,

you are now officially on the payroll of MI5-6. Yeah, that's the first trap. Yeah. No, I mean, you need to apply, like any other job. I see jobs for MI5 pretty regularly. They wouldn't, like, library people and information professionals, like, me. Yeah, I see them advertising for, like, comms officers all the time. Yeah, I think they just...

They're always looking for comms people, and they don't mean, like, people who can communicate state secrets. They mean people who can, like, make sure that the people who work for MI5 know the latest HR policies. They're looking for, like, internal comms managers. Yeah, we're not talking about spy shit. They are just a very big branch of the civil service, aren't they? Like, I bet it's not as interesting as you think it's going to be. No, I don't think you have to meet them in a field. An international spy, very unlikely.

The possibility that they might need someone to do a bit of payroll for them, yeah, maybe. Am I wrong, or would a field be easier to spy on than, say, a room in the MI6 building on the Thames? I think it would be very conspicuous, wouldn't it, if two people met in the middle of a field. Three people, there must be a gender balance on the panel. Oh. Like, you can't have a woman alone with a man. Oh, because of sex? Yeah.

Because then the spy interview will tell you. turn into just dogging. I thought I was going for a job with MI6, but it was dogging. Shit. And that's what the Billy Bullshit and boyfriend was doing. And he was like, oh, no, I've been cheating on my girlfriend, dogging. I'll just say that it was MI6. And I can't go into details.

I actually can't disclose that information. I had to go into that field. It was a matter of state security. And maybe her son has realised that if he said, he works for MI6 you can just lie to me's mum about all sorts of shady shit these aren't illegal drugs and buying them for a mission these are tiny capsules of state secrets yeah I have to carry them in this little baggie of state secrets the only way that we can safely dispose of the state secrets is for me to roll them up with a bit of tobacco and smoke

them there's going to be a meet-up at this my chemical romance reunion gig I need to be there I can't put it in expenses because that would get traced back to the government so you must buy my ticket, Martha. Congratulations, you're part of them I-sits. They couldn't find you. If I got an email saying we couldn't find you, please meet us in this field for a job interview. I wouldn't go. I might not go.

I might put this in the same category as all those Nigerian princes who want to give me money. There's a thread about that running at the moment, but it was too long. and too sad. We could have put them all together under mum's net scams. Mums net scams that. Someone said, I saw an advert for applications for MI6 in a newspaper once. I can't remember which one. Probably the Times.

I guess they probably do a mixture of targeted recruitment, like with your ex, and then broader recruitment drives as needed. I would guess computer science and unusual languages in the West, like Arabic or Mandarin would be the best degrees to do so. I guess. I think I feel like, you're making all sorts of, there's something very presumptuous at best or prejudiced at worst about thinking that Arabic and Mandarin are the degrees that you need to be a spy.

Yeah, we need to keep our eyes on Europe now as well. Yeah. Who knows what they're up to now that we've actively stepped away from the table. They keep trying to tell us what's going on. Yeah, we want to know what's going on at that table. But we've walked away. Yeah, I mean. So, you know, a basic French would be good.

Maybe a German. Yeah, just a rudimentary grasp of German. You don't even need to understand German. You just need to be willing to listen to someone speaking German and you'd be a cut above the people that we have at the moment. It's just like, oh, we're going now. You're being unreasonable. I've signed...

Am I a spy? I don't know. You're allowed to tell people that you've signed it. Is that in itself? I don't know. I didn't read it. You might need to edit this bit out. Just put a long... ...over it, though, to make it seem romantic.

And we'll leave the... And people will be like, what did they beep? I'm sure that MI5 and MI6 turn up to uni careers fairs all the time Oh yeah Like picking up a brochure because you're 22 And you've got no idea what to do with your life It's not going to put the country in danger What if all that's fake though

What if there's an entire fake recruitment drive That just shunts people who actually apply Into a fake MI5 and a fake MI6 And the real MI5 and the real MI6 Recruit I don't know from the army But I mean the people they recruit for the fake on would still need to be paid. This is like a very expensive ruse. It is.

Although how great would that be if you knew, like if you got in and then you realised what the jig was, you were like, yeah, I get paid quite handsomely and the states couldn't be lower. It's not even real. Sometimes I just tell graduates to meet me in a field so that they think this is how we operate. Mostly, we just play minesweeper flags. Yeah. Because we all have degrees in computers. And maths. Because it's 1986. is a computer nerd, I think he would like to work in the back end of it rather than the ground

or front line. He went through the application online and a lot of the questions were about family or nationality. Questions like, how close are you to your family on a scale of one to five? One, not willing to betray. Five, very willing to betray. He's close to us, still a teen, but I could see him ditching us for a career long. I think if he's very, if he wants to do back-end computer shit, wouldn't it be easier to not do that with MI5 or MI6 and to do that with anyone else who wants people doing back-end computer shit. Yeah, less fraught, certainly. He just wants to be cute, like from James Bond, played by Ben Wishaw. But he's mixed up, and he should really be trying to be Paddington, played by Ben Wishaw. Because Paddington's just

a nice bear. Yeah. Who doesn't work for my 5 or am I six. It's true. Am I being unreasonable to think instant coffee is not a disaster. Hi, all. Just had a friend over for a coffee, and I mentioned why an espresso machine was broken, so I only had. instant coffee, Azira. She looked horrified, wrinkled her nose and said, oh God, no, no one I know still drinks instant. God, I hope you get that sorted before the birthday on Sunday, or everyone will complain. Okay, so now I'm totally paranoid. For me, it's not a big deal. If someone only has instant, I drink it. However, for all the coffee snobs out there, am I making a fatal mistake if I don't have my espresso machine back in time for my daughter's birthday on Sunday?

in total nine kids and their parents are coming over to our place this is actually stressing me out I don't want coffee gate come Monday morning Instant coffee is a disaster But a espresso machine you can only make one cup of coffee at a time Yeah So if you're anticipating that you might need to make I assume the kids aren't having coffee

I don't know what sort of snooty children they are But if all of the parents have coffee Why don't you just go out and buy a cafeteria Go buy a cafeteria It'll cost you like I don't know 20 quid buy some coffee that'll cost you five quid. If you're having a party anyway,

you anticipate there being costs associated with it, just factor that in. Then you can make a big pot of coffee rather than everyone having to wait while you fanny around with your espresso machine. And they take ages anyway. Or go the other direction. Hire a barista and a big espresso machine.

Have an espresso hour like we had at our wedding. Exactly. But for your daughter's, I don't know, eighth birthday. Yeah, crank out those espressos. Not crank, I mean, it takes a while. We've all been in coffee shops. You have to wait for a bit. If someone only has instant coffee, I will drink it.

It's not great. But if someone explicitly invites me to their house for a coffee and then they say, I only have instant, I would think, why did you invite me for something you have? Yeah. Why don't you say, come over for a cup of tea or come over for a slice of toast? I feel like I am biased, as one of the coffee snubs mentioned in this. Because we have a little espresso maker, a little stovetop thing, at least two French presses. Yeah, an aeropress, an aeropress, a bean grinder.

Yep. I am the coffee snob. I'm a bit of a coffee snob, but not to anything like the extent where I would tell someone that their daughter's birthday was going to be a disaster because of it. No, unless the kids are coming over just for espresso. Yeah. Eighty's kids in big shoulder business suits. All the kids are Niles Crane.

Yeah. They're all coming over for a little coffee. Espresos, please. I saw George Clooney drink one. I also don't think the coffee you get out of the espresso machines is particularly nice most of the time. I couldn't say I've ever had one, but I saw the coffee I made you from an espresso machine at a hotel. We were at a couple of weeks ago. Oh my God, that was disgusting.

Bad. It looked like, you know when you run a tap in a public bathroom and you can tell that there's some sort of buildup of gunk somewhere in the system and you just, you're like, no, it's fine. Maybe I operated the espresso machine badly, but it looked, it looked bad. Yeah, and when we went on holiday in the summer, we had a coffee machine, and the coffee pods were from Costa, and therefore it tasted like Costa coffee, which wasn't great, to be honest. It's just a bit sort of bland and plasticy. Yeah. I think just going to buy a French press, my love. A big French press is the solution here for quick coffee that isn't instant, but will satisfy the coffee snob in your life. Yeah, exactly.

Because it's made from grounds, so they can't complain. Yep. Well, I mean, they can complain. But they shouldn't. Yeah. I'll say, oh, where's the steamer? Where's the latte art? Where's the latte art?

If it's a birthday party where the kids come around and do latte art, then you have a problem, because you can't do that with instant. Is that like how kids used to do Pizza Express parties, but then Pizza Express got its name tainted by, you know, everything? So now they do latte art parties, yeah, Prince Andrew. Yeah, yeah. If Prince Andrew comes out and says he was doing latte art instead of statutory rape, then the latte art industry will...

take a huge dive. Yeah, but as it stands, just Pizza Express. Just Pizza Express in Woking, really. Yeah, so this family live in Woking. They had to cancel the Pizza Express party, so they're having a coffee party for Tilly's eighth birthday. But Prince Andrew is just, he's calling Emily Maitlis to do another interview, about to reveal the latte art connection.

Or maybe. Maybe he's going to be like, actually, you know what, I remember very clearly I was drinking a cup of Azera instant coffee. Oh man, there goes the brand. Yeah, blown it. Someone said, to be honest, I'm not fussy generally, but I can't drink instant. Sounds like you are fussy. Yeah, probably.

Like, I'm owning being fussy. I'm saying I'm fussy about coffee and other things. I'm extremely fussy. I just want a plate of noodles with a little bit of butter. I love Azira. So if you offered me that, I would snatch your hand off. I don't think that's the phrase. Bite your hand off or snatch it out of your hand.

Yeah. You don't snatch someone's hand away, unless they have a prosthetic. can't, and then don't, because that's rude. That's so rude. Just because they offered you a shit instant coffee, doesn't mean you should steal their prosthesis. Come on. Someone said, could you make tea? Yeah, tea. A tea party.

And then someone said, Azeera coffee is standard. It's not standard, it's shit. That sounds like it's your same basic, though. A zero coffee's the sort of coffee that you always see, like, I work in the charity sector, so it's very unlikely that we would have nice things at meetings.

Not so much in this place. And this place, sometimes you get nice coffee that's like in a cafeteria because it probably works out just as cheap as buying a Zira. But in previous places, if you had big meetings, they'd just have a pot of a Zira with a little dirty looking spoon at the end of the table. We've got the nice coffee in for the meeting and you're like, no, you fucking didn't. Don't tell me lies, I can see it. It's just people have been fooled by the branding. Asira coffee is just instant coffee and it tastes as such. If I went for an interview with a big civil service institute, for example, in a field. Yeah. I would expect a good quality coffee. I would expect instant in that

situation because they're in a field. They have limited resources. Yeah, a little firmer. And then, yeah, lots of people saying the friend is being a horrible snob, but then also saying, however, I would not drink this shit. It sounds like we all might be snubs, and that's fine. Yeah, they're all snobs, and maybe the OP should just cancel the party. Am I being unreasonable to be annoyed he doesn't know my phone number by heart? Being together six years and we have two children. 1D, and DSS, who lives with us full-time. It's really pissing me off that he doesn't know my mobile number. He doesn't even have it written down or anything in his wallet.

What if something happened and he needed to call me but he didn't have his phone? He says that will never happen and he's never needed it before. Am I being unreasonable here? What does he imagine happening? He falls down a well. Without his phone. But in the well, there's a pay phone. There's a pay phone in the well.

Yeah. Yeah, he's fallen in the well and at the bottom of the well, there's a pay phone. And there's a shiny 50 pence piece. He didn't have his mobile. No reception in the world. No, oh no, because then he could get the number out of it. Yeah, he hasn't got his mobile. I imagined him in a sword fight,

and he needs to call his wife for backup. But the assailant knocks his hand, and the phone skitters way across the room. And it flies, and it falls down a well. It falls down a well. Yeah. But there's a phone. But he's already started calling her,

and she's on the calls as it falls down the well. And so she's just there like, hello. yeah and there's a phone in the sword wow but it's but there's no numbers saved in it there's only one number and it's not for his wife so he lifts his sword phone to his ear yeah but he cannot dial do you know my number I think I could probably piece it together in somewhere between 20 and 30 attempts right let's not try that now you know what number I do know completely by memory I know the number for a girl who I went to primary school with who I haven't spoken to since I was 17 years old. I could tell you her parents' landline number

in a flash. Other than that, I don't know that I remember any numbers by heart. I remember my mobile number, my parents' landline number, my grandma's landline number, and that's it. Yeah, I know my own, I know my parents' landline number. Much of their dismay, I think, because when I call the landline, they're just tethered to it because who uses a landline, they're like, what's going on? Is everything okay? Yeah. But that's because that was the 90s, when you would need to physically die at it.

and you wouldn't just press a button on a mobile. Yeah, these scenarios don't come up anymore. No, except for when you have to use your sword phone. Exactly, when you fall down a well. Yeah. When you're in the middle of a field, because you've been roughed up by people claiming to be MI5 and MI6, and you've got nothing but a phone with no contact in it. I just, I feel like the likelihood is that even if he couldn't work out a phone number,

he'd be able to remember an email address or something. There would be a way that he could get in touch. Although, again, that's not instant. If there's an emergency, you don't want to have to be like finding someone that you can go on your emails and then sending an email that says like, emergency, emergency, please call me on my sword phone. My sword phone number is. My phone just getting away across the room. Exactly.

It's not important. Does he know how you like your coffee? A zira. Does he know the strength of your kindness? Does he know what's in your heart? Those are what you really should be asking. What's in her heart seems to be a desperate desire to be a normal. about something.

Yeah, maybe. We've been together for six years and he's great, so I've found one small and irrelevant deficiency, and I've started to thread about it. So, let's hear from the thread. Get a fucking grip. This is a weird thing to get annoyed about. If this is what you see as a problem,

you live a very fortunate life. A very charmed life. What a charm-ed life, you lead. It must be nice to be so charmed. So charmed. Your cursed husband does not know your mobile mum in my heart. This doesn't mean he didn't care. Lots of people are just competing.

about how long they've been with their partners to not know their numbers. I've been with my partner since 1973, and I don't know his number. I've never called my partner on the phone. Someone here has said the only one I 100% remember is my grandparents, and it's not even theirs anymore, which is what I just said. I think it's because there was a time in the 90s where small children had, I don't know, fewer things to keep them occupied, so they would say, can I call daddy and granddad?

And then they would just do it. And you had to have that number memorized in case someone tried to say, stop calling daddy and granddad, they want some peace. Leave nothing granddad alone, please. So you had to have it in your mind. So at the moment that you'd signposted you were going to do it, which is sort of the same as getting permission, you can start dialing.

I think it's because Grandma continues to answer the phone with her phone number. Sometimes people that I speak to for work do that, they're probably of an age. I like it. Yeah, they're probably like your grandma's peers. But they do that, and they take off the whole dialing code. and if you live somewhere sort of that's not a city

in a city the dialing code is four digits but if you live in a town it's five so they just answer with six numbers which is not a phone number in by the height and sometimes they tell you the area instead of the dial code so they'll pick up the phone and they'll be like Salisbury 6363 663 you're like what

I don't know the dialing code for Solzbray what are you what about that's very adorable I'm going to start answering the phone with my national insurance number well the only bit that you know for sure is going to be the dial code on a mobile number is 07 so I might start answering my mobile with mobile and then the next nine digits every time someone calls I just like mobile nine digits they'll be like yeah oh my god and then I'll follow up with my other favourite thing that older people do when I speak to them on the phone for work which is for no reason I will start spelling my surname using the phonetic alphabet I just people at They go wild for it. You can't get through any conversation before someone's just reeling off phonetic letters to you.

Yeah, and my surname is Bravo, Oscar. Okay, Bravo Oscar. No, I'm spelling it. Yeah. But you've at least said my surname is, whereas they would say, London, 6363, 633, 633, 633, bravo Oscar whiskey. You're like, what is going on? Why? I have no idea what's happening. I used to work somewhere where people do it all the time. and also they'd have a membership number and they would recite all of this information so they would phone you then they would say a number

and you had to work out if that was a membership number or six digits of a phone number you're like oh that's a membership number because they haven't told me a town first great so it's a membership number then they would reel off half the phonetic alphabet because they would have double barrel names and then they would tell you a town

and then six digits and you would just be there like I actually just need your postcode to find you please oh my word yeah my dude when I need your mum membership number, I'll ask for it. I can't wait till I'm old so that I can tell someone the town that I'm living in, half my phone number, a random string of phonetic letters, shout that I'm a member, and then give a membership number, and then when someone's like, I don't understand what you're asking

of me, be really exasperated and ask for a manager. Yeah, that's going to be great. This is like that poem warning, like when I'm old, I'll wear purple, but me, when I'm old, I'll be a member with a phone number. And you will hear about it. You will, I will phone you up to tell you. Am I being unreasonable to think less of period dramas that use French braids slash platts? I'm really keen to see little women, but on the trailer I saw a girl with French plats, and that's kind of ruined it for me. I remember French Plats becoming a craze in the 80s, the 1980s.

But as far as I can recall, they were a new hairstyle then. To me, French Plats, in a drama set in the American Civil War, belongs in the same anachronistic dump as Mrs. Maisel telling her audience, that Dr. Spock's message was, You Got This? Or the numerous examples of men keeping their hats on indoors. I'm happy to be proved wrong and be shown that French Plats existed before the 1980s,

but Wikipedia is no help. She's really keen to see a little women on the trailer and she saw a girl, no, you saw a little woman with French Plats. Yeah, I mean, you missed the most fundamental part of the trailer, the name. That they are little women, not girls. Yeah. Bob Odenkirk says it,

He says, my little women. My little women. And they were no longer little girls. They were little women. That was just a thing that Mo said. Yeah, we saw Little Women last night. We did. I loved it.

I thought it was a very beautiful film that took a while to get going. But once it got there, it was amazing. Yeah, when we came out on cinema, I wasn't sure how I felt about it. But then I wake up this morning, and I was still thinking about it. And I've got a lot of feelings. Me too. And a lot of those feelings are Joe March. What a woman.

What a little woman. What a great woman. But anyway, was she the little woman with the French brain slash platts? Because I don't know what that is. No, Amy had the French brain slash platts. Amy's a piece of work. So just to explain this, I said to Simon that when I first read Little Women, when I was like eight years old... I'd never read Little Women, so I went in cold.

Yeah, and I read it when I was eight, and I loved it. But I distinctly remember thinking that Amy was a real piece of shit. And I don't know if it's because obviously, like, Joe is supposed to be, like Louisa May Alcott's proxy for herself or if it's because I didn't understand nuance because I was eight or if it's just a much more sympathetic framing of all the characters and it's like re-arranged the chronology so things are grouped together thematically

so the characters get a much fairer ride of things, whatever. Maybe it's not a piece of shit. But when I was eight years old, I really thought she was and now I realised the error of my ways but I think Solomon will laugh at me for this forever because he doesn't have the experience of being an eight-year-old bookish girl and reading something and being like, yeah, I like Joe and everyone else is bad.

It's true. Yeah, Florence Pugh was very good at representing quite a complex character, really. Probably the most complex character, I think. Yeah, I think Laura Dern's character was pretty complex, too. She's got a lot bottled up. Yeah, but... And I think Lora Dern does very well at showing that.

But I think Laura Dern is just great. Exactly. Laura Dern could just be sitting there. Like, if Laura Dern was... It was just a film that was Lora Dern sitting in an empty room on the floor for two hours. That's pretty much inland empire, except three hours. You would still, yeah. I would laugh that shit up.

Yeah. Yes, please. So, like, they're the plait that sort of plat tight against your head. And a French plat is a very practical style. Like, it looks nice, but also it gets your hair right back off your face. It's very useful. Yeah. And I can't believe for one moment that that was suddenly invented in the 1980s.

People have had hair for too long for anyone to have come up with something truly brand new in the 1980s. The phrase French braid appears in an 1871 issue of Office Home magazine. That's all. That's the only history that Wikipedia has. But that's because it's called a French braid there. The style itself definitely would have pre-existed that. Exactly. It just didn't have the same name or it didn't have a name of time.

I just think this person seems like they're just trying to show off about how clever they are, but instead they're making themselves sound like an arse. Yeah, this sounds like a very picky style of, not even film criticism really, but there is a very picky style of film criticism where you just nitpick various things and do kind of cinema sins nonsense. You know what this is? We talked about it in a previous episode. This is incorrectly regarded as goofs.

Yeah. Incorrectly regarded as goofs. Yeah. That style of looking at films rather than how they make you feel, how you cry every time Lord Dernie's on screen, etc. Yeah. How joyful you are when Bob Odenk shows up.

How irritated you are when they think that Joe must chase a man to the station, but first they have to do her up. It's either time to chase him or there isn't. Any man who loves Joe March doesn't need her to be fully done up or done up at all. Oh, fine, Amy. I mean, like I said, I came round on Amy, but when she was like, come on, let's get you pretty to go and chase a man. In the rain, so, you know, how well is that hair and makeup going to stand up? A French plat is a good hairstyle for the rain.

Yeah. That is a good hairstyle for rainy days. I must have been I've never seen Mrs. Maisel, which I feel like I should. I've heard a lot about how I would love it, but I've also heard that I would It's got some Emmy kind of buzz. It's supposed to be about a woman in comedy, and it's like, it's meant to be amazing. Lots of women in comedy have said so,

but then many other women in comedy have said, no. You're a woman in comedy. Yeah, I think my 2020 resolution is not to be. Which is why I'm going to make this podcast very dry. Does Mrs. Maisel say that Dr. Spock said, you got this? That can't be what happens. I'm really confused about,

I'm not going to go looking it up, but I think that sounds unlikely. Maybe that is the message of Dr. Spock. I haven't read that either. Why would I? I mean, Timitay Salome is playing Loire. Timitay Salame is playing a tiny fuck boy. I was just going to say, he's just playing a 21st century fuck boy. Absolutely.

Yeah. And that's also who Timitay Salamee plays in Lady Bird. Yeah. So, good work, Greta Garwig, on just slyly having a dig at Timitay Salamee. Oh, you can be in my films. Oh, sure. Oh, I've got a part just for you. I'm sure that's not what you.

going on, but I do love the idea that Greta Goerving is casting him just to troll him. Hey, Timotee, saw this and thought of you. Greta, this is just a tiny fuck boy. Oh, it was, it could be interpreted like that. I mean, I told you that I thought of you and though you're telling me it's a tiny fuck boy, so. Bye, Timothy. See you on set, Timote. So, someone has said, 10,000 years of human history, and you think one of the simplest styles of braids was invented in 1984.

Have a look at hair patterns in Viking, Greek, Mesopotamian, Egyptian or Nubian art. That's a good point, actually. Yeah, I mean, all we've been able to find out is it's mentioned in the 1870s. So it definitely wasn't mentioned, invented in the 1980s, as this person said. No, but, and if you look at ancient art, particularly like ancient Greek art, that sort of hairstyle is very, very common. Yeah. Just like braided right round the head.

Yeah. Yeah. You're talking nonsense. And then someone has said, I think anyone with Afro hair will be able to tell you about braids. And then someone said, ditto Vikings. It's like, oh, white people, shut up. Yeah, it doesn't have to be about white people. Oh, no.

Come on. No. Come on now. And now someone has said, this reminds me of my elderly aunt telling me that she dreamt in Technicolor before it was ever on the films, which is the cutest thing I've ever heard. Cute. Like, well, imagine thinking that you invented Technicolor because you, your dreams word in black and black.

That's so adorable. Maybe you should go see the film and see how it makes you feel, rather than focusing on Florence Pugh's hair. Oh, she'd definitely be looking for anachronisms. Oh, oh, I see that Beth is wearing stripy socks. Would they have had stripy socks? Yeah, I mean, there was that scene where Joe has to remember the phone number of Frederick and has to call him on her mobile.

Because she's in a well. That sort of took me out of it a bit. Yeah, yeah. She tries Skyping him and why. What's happening, but there's no answer. Yeah. That took me out of it. And there is that scene where Laurie makes a cup of a zira for Amy.

Yeah. That seemed odd. It seemed odd. And it wasn't nice of Amy to put her nose up at the instant coffee. But it is in keeping with the character. She did want to marry Rich. Now someone has just said, have you seen cats, O.P. It seems like a great way to shut down any criticism of any film.

It's just like, have you seen cats? Have you seen cats, though? Do one more speed round. Am I being unreasonable to think a student does not need a nanny? No. Wow. Imagine. To do what?

I don't know. Laundry. Wet nurse? Oh. Am I being unreasonable to feel so sad about the way my life has turned out? Oh, no. It's okay to be sad. Am I being unreasonable?

Snakey mate. Snakey mate. Snakey mate. Like Voldemot's snakey mate in Harry Potter. This means literally nothing. to me. Have you seen cats, though? And am I being unreasonable? Could anyone tell me what Mads Mickleson smells like? Uh, yeah, a kind of musky aftershave with a kind of bread, like fresh bread underneath it? Yeasty? Yeasty? Not like a yeast infection. No, I was more thinking like when you get

off the train at Edinburgh Waverly and there's that sort of beery smell in the air. Yeah, so it a kind of deep and musky, but also flowery, because he's obviously put some care into his appearance and put on some, you know, cologne or stuff. Butchuley's both musky and flowery. Is what I imagine he smells like, having watched Hannibal all the way through several times. Wow. And think of thought about this. A great deal.

Should we end it there then? Thank you for listening. Happy New Year. Do get in touch if you have any comments or opinions or any thread suggestions. We're on Twitter.com at YAB Unreasonable. Maybe we should make a Facebook group. That's what the big podcasts do. We could make a Facebook group.

We have a YouTube channel. Yeah, so like and subscribe. Smash that like button. Yeah. Yeah. Do reviewers and stuff on podcast. It helps other people find the podcast. It just helps.

But yeah, thanks for listening. We'll see you some more in 2020. Thank you. Bye! Right now, right now.