You Are Being Unreasonable - 063 - In which hamster balls are cancelled and we slide into a friend's husband's DMs to talk about 🔥 and 🍆

Episode Date: January 30, 2020

"'Your very existence is a hot take' is a weird thing to say to someone." We're big into the social media this week. This episode is practically a lesson in social media etiquette and frankly we should be charging you for this training. We get into bosses who want you to advertise to your friends via Facebook and WhatsApp; printing out and laminating memes for your meme in-tray; what the flame emoji means and whether you should use it to comment on your friend's jacked husband on Facebook. We also discuss what to do if you have a parcel from China to collect from the Post Office, what to do if your hamster is infected with the coronavirus, and what to do when someone you manage is going for the same job interview as you and the interviewers make you buzz in like University Challenge.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when they're prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day. Hello.

Hello, welcome to You Are Being Unreasonable, the podcast about people being Unreasonable, on mumsnet.com with me, Hells. And me, Simon. Hopefully by the time this goes out, the world still exists and haven't been wiped out by this virus. Well, hopefully. The virus is a big feature of the boards at the moment,

the old coronavirus. So... My, my, corona. I was on the train the other day, and there was someone on the phone in the background who just seemed like a background character in, like, a zombie film or a disaster film. Because they were just saying, like,

expository dialogue, like, and is it airborne yet? As it spread to Malaysia Yeah, at some point further down the line You're like, hang on Wait a minute, the woman on the train The woman on the train warned us That's what's foretold

Yeah, I think it'll be okay At least until this comes out We're recording slightly earlier than normal But still five days before it comes out Not, you know, several months Yeah, if this is one of the last artefacts Before the virus wipes us out And this is picked up later by future historians

Or better yet, aliens, Hello. Hello, it's important to know that this is not representative. Generations from now, they'll hold us up as an example of the icons of civilization at this time. Wow. Yeah, I don't know why our podcast survived and no one else's did, but should we do a speed round? Yeah. Am I being unreasonable? Indecisive husband, transport.

Yeah, that husband needs to pick. Boat, plane, train, car. Just pick one. They're all equally good. That's not going to help him make a decision. He's indecisive, and now you're telling him they're all equally good. Am I being unreasonable? Anne Frank, should people have heard about her?

Yes. Am I being unreasonable? What time does school start? Nine? Maybe half nine? Am I being unreasonable to hate Dede's friend? Depends how old D D D.D. is. Three.

Yeah. Someone from, someone that Dede's met at baby yoga. What if Dede's three, but her friend is 67? Very interfering. Strange. Yeah. That's strange. That's too much of an age gap even for friendship. Yeah.

Which admits larger age gaps and, you know, relationship. It does. I wouldn't want to be friends with a three-year-old. I don't think we'd have the same interests. They're great to hang out with occasionally. Yeah. But I don't think it would be a friendship. I couldn't call up a three-year-old and be like, do you want to go to this exhibition? Yeah.

I plan to see our little niece over the weekend. I'm not going to tell people at work that I saw a friend. My friend is smashing her developmental milestones. I'm so proud of her. Yeah, we got lunch for a friend, I got her a little present. She walked about a bit, which is great for her. Oh, no, they'll just think that your friend has recently been through some sort of, like, accident and surgery. I'm like, oh, good, I'm glad she's recovering.

Yeah, she's walking really well now. Should you do a full thread? Yes. Am I being unreasonable, not collecting parcel from China? I ordered some bits off Amazon a few weeks ago. Just a hamster ball and a slide for D.D. I know they have come from China and are currently at the post office. But DH at first stated I needed to wear gloves and then flash wipe all the contents before I get home.

He has now decided I can't get them as he's worried about coronavirus. I understand but I'm also very, and then a sort of raised eyebrow emoji. I've waited ages for the bits. D.D. has waited and I think it's a bit overkill. Am I being unreasonable to just go and get them and flash wipe it to placate him? him. I don't want to spend more money on buying something I've already bought. Ah, my instinct was correct that the virus would be a talking point on mum's net. Yeah, absolutely. They're concerned about the coronavirus.

She bought something for D.D. Hamster. Not D.D.'s hamster. My dear daughter, hamster. Her daughter's name is Hamster, and she bought her a slide from Amazon. And now, not only does her daughter have to live with the name Hamster. She can't even play with her slide because of the coronavirus. And a hamster ball, which is presumably one of those giant hamster balls that Wayne Cohen of the flaming lips used to use at these gigs. Yeah. But presumably this is a little hamster, D.D.'s hamster. And the idea of a slide for a hamster is chef's kiss. I love that.

Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen it before, but it sounds so cute. Yeah. A Chinese slide. That sounds like some sort of euphemism. The old Chinese slide. Yeah, giving the old hamster a Chinese slide this evening. What does that mean? Are you a racist now? Is that your husband's dick? Oh. Why do you call it the hamster?

Does he like that? Oh. I thought the Chinese slide is the hamsters do. The husband's dick. But now you're saying the hamster is the dick, and the Chinese slide is the act. Sexual position, yeah. All right. Anyway, back to the stretch.

Simon, I have a question. Please. Why did they buy all this shit from Amazon from China and then wait weeks for it? But I'm sure they could have got it for not that much more and got it much more quickly if they'd just ordered it somewhere here. And then they wouldn't have to turn up. gloves and flash wipes, like in the post office collection office. I don't know. I guess they're just enjoying the benefits of international trade with Great Britain while they're able to.

Well, I mean, China will be one of our closest allies come. I can't even fucking joke about it. I don't think the virus has spread that far in China. I think it's in a very small region. I don't think viruses tend to be able to live outside of the body for particularly long. I don't think you can sneeze into a hamster ball and then package it up and then ship it internationally. And then leave it... And then leave it...

And then leave it in the post office for, by the sound of it, weeks. Yeah, you'd think that being in the cargo hold of a plane or something would kill the germs. It's cold. Yeah. Cargo hold of a plane. Chilly.

Chilly ass. If you are concerned about coronavirus on your hamster items, wear gloves, flash wipe them, as you say. Make sure your kids don't touch them. Quarantine the hamster. I was going to say, I have just realized that a hamster's little immune system, they're so small. Like any trace at all, next thing you know, your hamster's got the coronavirus.

Your hamster's too sick to even play with its slide. Yeah, your hamster's patient zero, and they're wrapping up the house like ET. To be honest, at this point, I think whatever you think is going to happen, you need to just take a sunk-cost approach to this. Give up and buy a new slide, because either you'll get the slide and it will kill the hamster, or you'll get the slide and it will kill your marriage, because your husband will be so mad at you, or no, just buy a new slide. It's fine.

Sometimes things don't work out. Sometimes you buy a little slide for a half, hamster and it's taken so long to arrive that in that time some sort of international health crisis has broken out. Yeah. We've all been there. We've all been there. Like when I tried to buy a swing for a mouse and then there was SARS. Yeah, I tried to buy that seesaw for a rabbit and there was a swine flu. Exactly. I mean, these things happen. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Buying a little roundabout for your stoat and then there's an Ebola outbreak. You've just got to be really careful about international shipping for pet toys.

I mean, the other thing is, a lot of this time that they haven't had it, this stuff will have been in transit, so it may well have left China before coronavirus became an issue. Yeah. Do they think that viruses like people have to travel on sanctioned modes of transport? What if it boarded the same plane as the coronavirus? Shall we hear from the thread? Yes. Where in China is it from?

That might make a difference, although frankly, I think there is no risk. whatever you are buying will have been packed up weeks or months back and it's only the envelope or box that might be an issue but if there was there'd be a trail of death and destruction all through the postal service and all couriers not happened so don't worry the virus is not instant death it's not like you touch it and then you die

they're getting the virus mixed up with cartoon depictions of the grim reaper yeah exactly oh yeah here's the old coronavirus and that's just a man in a cloak with a sigh someone has said you're being unreasonable to use a hamster ball. I don't know if they missed the bit for it was for a hamster, or if they're just... A hamster ball's cancelled? I don't know. Cancel ball? Oh no, no, someone else has said the

parcel would be fine, but the hamster ball isn't fine, it's very bad for hamsters. What? How else are they going to get exercise? A wheel, I suppose. I don't know. Shit, when we had a chinchilla at home, we used to put a chinchilla in a chinchilla ball. Well, I mean, to be honest, no one's saying anything about chinchilla balls. Maybe those are just fine. Maybe it's only hamsters that struggle. I think hamster balls are okay for Wayne Coyne of the flaming lips? Is Wayne okay? I don't know. Where's he getting them delivered from? Well, he get the corona virus, probably. No, I mean, if they're bad for hamsters, maybe they're bad for him. I don't know why they're

bad for hamsters though. I seem like hamsters can't consent to it, whereas I feel like he would have not only consented, but he would have actively sort out his hamster ball for his gigs. Yeah, it's not like someone who was proportionate to him the way a humanist of a hamster just turned up and put him in a ball. Yeah. Do you realize? Ah, getting a bowl. It's like if I forced you to go, what's it called, Zorbing? Yeah. Yeah, against your will. That would be bad. That would be bad, especially if the Zorb was full of the Grim Reaper. Yeah, bad for hamsters, bad for Britain. Bad for the causes of hamsters. Should we move on? Yeah.

Am I being unreasonable? Awful situation. Someone I managed going for the same promotion. I have applied for a job, not in my current place, that would represent a step up for me, but would be a natural progression. I spoke to my boss first, who was supportive. Today, someone I manage has told me they also applied. We have both been shortlisted. The issue is this person is not qualified or experienced enough for the role. Yes, I know they're entitled to apply for any job they want, but the only way they would meet the criteria is if they lied about what they have done in the current post. They're struggling in their current role, never mind trying to step up. I've had to bought them massively and refer them to my boss to try and improve matters. They are in no way

ready for the next step up. But to get shortlisted, they must have taken credit for things that I or others in the team have actually done. No doubt about it. My worry is that in doing this, they have probably cast doubt on my application. I feel like we've both been shortlisted so the recruiters can work out who's lying? What do I do? If anyone has experience of this, I would love to hear it, especially from recruiters. I've been vague for obvious reasons, but ours is a niche industry, so I know that this is a problem, and our applications would have stood out like a sore thumb. Oh, they sound like a great manager.

They sound truly, just sublime. I wonder why this person's applying for new jobs. Yeah, this person cannot do their job. He's really struggling. Well, who's supposed to help them? They are so bad at doing their job that I have passed the buck to my manager, because I, as their manager, cannot do my job. Yeah, who's supposed to be helping that person develop?

Who's supposed to be making sure they can do the job to you, manager? Is it the norm to tell your current boss when you've been shortlisted for something? Yeah, that struck me as weird. I wouldn't tell them. I think in teaching, you do have to say when you're going for interviews, because it's the only way that you can get out of work. And I think in teaching it is a norm. But I wouldn't describe teaching as a niche industry. No, I'd take annual leave.

Yeah. It seems really very strange that this is an organisation where, not just the OP, but the OPs in the person that they manage. Yeah, he's just openly. Just like, oh yeah, I got shortlisted for a job the other day. I've worked with people where, like, if you look at the hierarchies, either they've been higher up than me or I've been higher up than them and they've told me when they're going to interviews.

But more than like, guess what, I've got an interview, yeah, way. Not in like, I must formally let you know. I think the worst way this could play out is if they have to do the interview together. It's a rare joint interview. When they bring them both in and see who's telling the truth about various. They can get on those little chess clocks, so... They ask the question, and they start the clock on one person goes, and they move on. Yep, like a debate.

Yeah, like a debate, except they're both arguing the same point, but just from their own perspectives. What's your greatest strength? You have five minutes. Well, as a manager, I have been very good at developing my staff. The other one's just there, like, get proper touching. You can respond in a minute. Please, where you're your turn. Why is this person so paranoid, I think? Oh, you have to buzz in, like, University Challenge.

Hodgkins from Window Corp. Smith from Window Corp. Manager Jones. Supportant, Davis. Yeah. It's really odd. Why do they think the recruiters have got two people in so they can see who's lying? Oh, yeah.

Why do they think anyone is that interested in their relationship with one another? Yeah. This struck me as well The recruiters don't care Like they are not detectives They aren't playing detective They probably haven't even realized you in the same team Or your relationship

Recruitment's boring And they're just trying to get through the process And tick the boxes And they've just shortlisted both of you Which leads me to imagine a sequel to this thread In a few weeks Where both candidates get appointed As a job share

That would be amazing Think of the drama Oh my gosh No. No. No. No. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. Oh, there are a lot of, like, compelling reasons why job shares are great. But I can't think of any that don't sound a lot like optimistic lies. Yeah. You get two sets of experience and two personalities for the price of one. Oh, yeah. And that's a good thing. Yeah. Oh, you'll have one role where there's internal communications issues within a role. Oh, I see. Yeah. And so if the person who does the job share in the first part of the week, hasn't it?

emergency and has to leave 10 minutes earlier than normal and they don't fill out their little list of what they've done. The whole back end of the week is chaos. I see. Interesting. No, it sounds horrible. I think they should go to the boss, the big boss, over the manager. Yeah. And they get to decide who goes for the interview. Yeah. And I mean, subordinate here will have a good relationship with Big Boss, because Big Boss has been helping them with all of their career development in the absence of any support from middle manager. Exactly. So, um... And Big Boss says,

you can each go to half of the interview. And the subordinate says, no, I respect the interview too much to only do half. And the manager says, yeah, I'll do that. And then Big Boss wisely says, because you didn't want to cut the interview in half, you can go subordinate, King Solomon. The OP is very entitled about this.

Yeah. Like, they seem to just be assuming, well, I should get this, so I don't even understand why anyone else dare reply. Yeah, I've got more... I'm hiring the hierarchy, and these hierarchies are natural. So obviously I should have the job. Yeah, it's a terrible latitude.

Because I'm a manager. Workplace hierarchies are everything, and they are an objective measure of a person's quality and value, so I should have the job. It's just... And, you know, if it is such a niche industry, and this person is as much of a piece of shit as they sound, no wonder this person's gone for the job.

They might not be believing that they are better than you, and they deserve this promotion that you believe you deserve. They might just be looking for any escape route, but in a niche industry, You're like, oh, it's a bit of a reach, but you know what? Things don't come up in this field very often, so I'm going to take a punt on it because my manager seems to think that I'm completely inept and won't offer me any support and is bad-mouthing me all about town to their boss.

So anything would help me get out of this toxic environment. And the field is selling slides for hamsters. Exactly. Chinese hamster slides. No, it's the UK version, and it's just not going well because everyone's realised they can get them much more cheaply. Yeah. Maybe it's...

Maybe they've got coronavirus, but people are willing to roll that diet. for a few pounds of their hamster slides. Let's hear from the thread. I think you're being unreasonable and the idea that to interview you both just to see what's going on doesn't seem rational. Forget about them. Go for your own interview and make sure that you shine

without mentioning your colleague. It does seem like they might go in there and be like, I understand that you're also interviewing Mr. Ben Dover and Ben Dover is my subordinate and actually he's been in a lot of trouble recently because he's not in very good at his job. She does have an air here, the OPE, of being like someone who might go in

and sabotage her own interview because she's so desperate to put someone down. I'm going to quote David Foster Wallace, as I so often do, but you need to realise how little other people think about you. Yes. Yes. Someone said it might be cheaper to employ them than you. I mean, it might, but given that they're going for the same job, I'd like to think that poorly treated subordinate here knows their value

if they get offered it. I feel very sorry for poorly treated subordinate. Oh, I'm all in un-subordinate. I love an underdog at the best of times. Yeah, an underdog who's had the courage to get. go for a job that is more senior than their manager. And then they must have known their manager was going from it. Wouldn't it be amazing if a subordinate hasn't even gone for it and hasn't got an interview, it's just playing mind games. Yes. Although if I were in spordinate's position,

I'd be hoping that this manager got the job just so they would rack off. Get bent. The OPs come back. I wish people would take things at face value. It's a very specific role they're going for and they're not capable for it. They have failed all their targets at our place, despite huge input from me. It's not a networking type of industry. Either they have the right skills or experience or they don't. They don't. I know the process well. Our applications will contradict each others, no doubt. Yes, I'll focus on my own performance, but what about references? You might not want to bring up an interview that someone you manage has failed all their targets. Despite a lot of input from you. Exactly. And now you've referred them to your boss.

That makes you look like a failure as a manager. Yes, it's very terrible. And someone else has said, Not sure that you describe an awful situation, actually just a common one, you're going for a job that other people are too. That describes all job application purposes. Am I being unreasonable to comment the flame emoji

on a friend's husband's photo. Is this okay? He's a friend too, but I thought nothing of it. Now worried that she thinks I was flirting. It was about the suit, honest. I bet it was. Sure it was. It reads so guiltily.

It just reads so guiltily. I thought nothing of it. And also we're friends and it was about the suit. Yeah, sure it was. Yeah. How ripped he was in that suit. How jacked. Being unreasonable to comment the flame emoji on my friend's jacked husband.

Looking jacked in that suit, flame emoji. Crying laughing emoji. 100. are being unreasonable to comment I would on friend's husband's photo. I meant wear those shoes, honest. Let's have one without the suit, winky emoji. No, you should have done a gif. Kids love gifts nowadays.

It's all about gifts. It's a gif of someone drooling or something. Yeah, is that normal? Yeah. If one of my friends posted on one of your photos for the gif of someone fanning themselves. I think... Would you be okay with that?

No, maybe not. I think the fundamental thing here is how you interpret the flame emoji. It means looking hot, right? I've never read it as such. I've read it as like, oh, fire. I don't know what our fire is. Like, you know, oh, you're on fire.

Oh, okay. Oh, fire. Like something that the Fab Five would say. Like, oh, you're on fire. I don't know. I just watch queer eye in the background while you'll watch it. That famous bit of queer eye where they all come in and take it in turns one after the other. Oh, fire.

Oh fire. Oh, fire. I don't know. But yeah, I meant, oh, you're on fire, rather than you are hot like a flame, akin to a flame. You are hot. So, for example, that's why you see, like, free flames when someone has done a spicy take.

It's like you're on fire. Yeah, but that's different, isn't it? Like, you can't post a photo of yourself, and then someone be like, that photo of you is a spicy take. Your very existence is a hot take is a weird thing to say to someone It's a hot take

I'm going to start Whenever you buy a new outfit And ask how it looks I'll say It's a hot take And I'll just be like You don't understand What a take is

Oh fire But I think you see You see You see those flames on Twitter all the time It's like Oh yeah This take is on fire This take is on fire

on fire. I just don't think it means heat. I don't see a little flame emoji and think heat. I think fire. Yeah, but I've definitely seen the flame emoji posted on pictures of people looking hot and it means like looking hot in this picture. Because if it's posted on,

if it's literally just a photo, I don't see how you would perceive it to be about the take. It's not about the take. Is it a photo of the husband wearing a suit and then underneath he's captioned it with some sort of really spicy meatball? It's not about the take.

It's because of the flame emoji means you're on fire. You are on fire because your suit and your confidence is good You are on fire because you've posted a good take Okay, but you're on fire if it's just a picture of someone Still seems a little bit flirting Yeah, but not as flirty as you are hot Okay, okay, so if you posted a picture of yourself

And then someone that I'm friends with But you're also friends with, it is important So someone that we're both friends with But I assume is closer friends to me than you Based on the way this reads Okay No, someone that we're both friends with posts on a picture of you with a little flame.

I mean, I don't think I would care. Now. And also, the O.P. things more worried about what the friend thinks and what the friend's husband thinks. Sexually harass your friend's husband all you like, as long as your friend is down for that. Best to slide into the DMs and explain it.

Yeah? Yeah, definitely. And frame it as such. Hey, just sliding into your DMs. Pause while you type the next message. Long and pause. Just sliding into your DMs about and then the flame emoji.

Like, what? And then, oh no, you get distracted because your pasta's boiling and you can't finish the thought and it just grows into a comical misunderstanding. Yeah, you're making one of those like melanzani things and you're like, oh, sorry, one moment

and you send just the obechine emoji. Oh, no. And then you just sent the words bubbling over here. Bubbling over. Oh, my wet. After all of that You just send a message that said That's a nice suit

Yeah, then you have to shut down your social medias Yeah Should we hear from the thread? Yeah No, don't do that Oh no Obviously it's flirty Oh no

No I don't No I don't think it's that flirt No No No I think this is A puritan

mental mindset. Only ever use flame emoji with the man I've been involved with. Jesus. No flame emojis before marriage. What if you're describing like the Australian bushfires, via emojis? In your friend's husband's DMs.

You just write the word bush and then the fire emoji. No. No. Fire emoji down under. No. Your friend's husband is just like, why is she telling me about her STI's?

Why did she think they're so sexy? No, that's a bad chat. Yeah. I mean, everyone thinks that it's a bad thing to have done. I don't think it's that bad. No, honest, if someone posted on a picture of you with the fire emoji, I think I would find it quite funny. Surely you'd be pleased.

Pleased that you'd married someone that people think is desirable. It's the sort of thing that I would take a screen grab of and then send you all the time to her. harass you. Like when that person on Twitter started harassing you about the Mandalorian. And so now I sent you the screenshot of that. Yeah. I didn't even know. I didn't even know baby Yoda was coming. What would be the best emoji to post on your friend's spouse's picture? I think the little smiling moon. You just love posting the smiling moon. The little smiling moon is just it's really cute. I'm always getting texts from hells are just the smiling moon. Hmm. Yeah, but that

was inspired by the time that someone that we know went through a phaser posting the smiling moon instead of the normal smiling emoji all the time and we never got to the bottom if that was intentional or not little face with sunglasses holding the sunglasses that still looks a bit like you're like damn like pulling your sunglasses down over your nose and peering over them yeah but less obviously so yeah that's like i'm checking out your husband but i do know that i shouldn't be damn sleeping Just the eagle The Statue of Liberty

Inscrutable That one that's dollar signs for the eyes And don't a sign on the tongue I'm sorry a dollar sign on the tongue Why are you posting it on a picture of my husband We simply do not know And then someone here has come along I think it means they played or performed well

Like they were on fire in that race slash game That's what I said That's how I read the fire Fire emoji doesn't necessarily mean hot, it just means you like something. Thank you. Like saying, your suit looks fire. Not hardy at all. Exactly, just like on Queer Eye.

It's the opinion of anyone under 35, I promise. Nobody ever uses fire to mean hot. There we go. Yeah, so, there we go. I see it on the youngsters at work comments. No, you shouldn't be sending emails around the workplace with the fire emoji. That's super weird. I think it's fine.

Well, it's too open to interpretation Well, clearly, but I had no idea You can't send, no, it's too open to interpretation, that's the problem Shit, my email's about the project Someone's like, hey, yeah So here's the timelines, I've done a gant chart And you're just like, fire! Exactly

Am I being unreasonable, boss, not getting it about social media So we're all getting specific instructions to post our business cards and flyers on Facebook and WhatsApp once a week. I know all the reasons that's ridiculous, so no need to repeat them to me here. What I need is a way to explain that to my boss. We're all sort of quietly not doing it. He's taken to sending reminders. His own social media is business-based,

like his name and the company name, nothing personal. I didn't even know till recently he was married. I tried to placate by posting stuff on WhatsApp. He's a nice guy, and it's a good, company. He's just not getting this. One of us needs a way to tell him that forcing us all to spam personal Facebook accounts won't really help with marketing. I assume people will hide my posts and it will build resentment among staff. He tagged me in a post and then I had strangers liking old holiday picks. So the business plan, the marketing plan, is to post business cards

on WhatsApp messages. Yeah. So I think this might be a generational thing. I think there is a generation that is older than us that view WhatsApp as being social media. I think that's true. And I would only ever view it as being a messaging platform. And so yeah, you're in WhatsApp groups, but they're just instant message groups. Yeah. It's not social media in the same sense as other things where you sort of just post out into the world generally. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's true. But this sounds like, like, this sounds like how you would go about doing a bad reboot of American Psycho that takes place in 2020.

Actually, they post their business cards on their WhatsApp group. Yes. Fire, fire, fire, fire. Fire! You're right that different generations view WhatsApp differently. I still don't think posting business cards on there

is a good idea. I think, given that he uses his social media for business, he will have the right networks that are interested in his business. But if you use your social media for your personal life, your networks are not going to give the remotest hoot about your business card, are they? Like, we had this at work the other day. They were like, oh, and then you can all start shouting about it on social media to create a buzz. I was like, right, I've got a locked Twitter account, and believe me, I will be shouting about it on there, but none of you are going to see what I'm saying.

And I've got a public Twitter account that is very much like, hey, I'm doing some theatre stuff, or like, hey, writing community. I don't want people on my public Twitter account to connect me to my day job because I try not to look like I have a day job because I use it for creative stuff. So if I start wanging on about my day job, I'm going to lose the precious few followers I've got over there. Yeah.

So, yeah, shout up eye on social media, but only if you've already curated you social media to be a place where people want to hear it. You can't just start bothering your aunties with your business cards for your little slide business. Did you see that Dolly Parton meme that came out this week with LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter and Tinder? Yeah. In different quadrants.

This man's idea is just a business card in every quadrant. The business card in the LinkedIn quadrant, fine. But Facebook is a different atmosphere and Twitter's a different atmosphere again. And Tinder's a very different atmosphere. Maybe someone needs to show him that meme and that'll be how he comes to understand. The different social media has different purposes. is. But what I think he will take from it is these suckers have forgotten about WhatsApp and great, everyone needs to post it on their Tinder now. Yeah, that would be bad. Look, I've printed you

out and laminated this meme for you for you to have a look at your desk. I like the idea of coming into work and having a physical intro full of laminated memes, just sifting through them in the morning, chuckling. That's, yeah, I don't use an intro, but if I had, one, I just want it to be for memes, incoming memes. But you should get an intro, but then just put on it memes only. Spicy memes only? Yeah. An in-ray-outray set up, and one's for spicy memes, and one's for a dank memes.

You can send a message around to all of your colleagues on Tinder, saying, I've got a new intro for physical printouts of memes. Because social media, yeah, great I need to keep up to date with the latest memes So please print them out and pass them to me I don't think Tinder is social media either Having said about that meme Tinder again feels like it serves a different function

Social media seems like, I've never been on Tinder I don't know, but it just doesn't seem like social media No Social media seems like it's for predominantly transmit And not receive Whereas these other things seem like Ways that you might try to connect with a human And therefore they are not social media

Yeah, it's for promoting your podcast and your film reviews until presumably everyone blocks you. Yeah, exactly. It's for posting business cards. Should we make business cards for the podcast? And then we can post them on WhatsApp to everyone. Yeah. Put them in all our WhatsApp groups. It's like WhatsApp statuses.

Who uses WhatsApp statuses? I have one friend who does. But she has a job where she works quite on social hours. I wonder if it's just because she's got to keep herself amused. I don't. I think I set a status when I first downloaded WhatsApp and I've never changed it. I don't know what it's full. Oh, no, no, very odd.

Stop promoting your business. Also, it sounds like all the people that this guy has doesn't, like, don't understand how social media works. So he posted something about work publicly. He tagged the OP in it. And then someone who saw the business-related post went looking through the OP's old holiday picks and then liked one of them.

Weird. Lock it down and then do what you're doing. Just keep quietly not doing it. Yeah. That's the best way to handle this. Or if you weren't really worried about it, just change your Facebook name to something slightly obscene so he'll stop tagging you. Change it to a damning review of the business.

Yeah, exactly. Like when people change their mums that username to like, fuck off the daily mail, don't steal my threads. Yeah. You could change it to fuck off manager. WhatsApp's not social media. Should we hear it from the thread? I'd just delete my personal Facebook

or delete and bloke everyone, work-related. Yeah, delete all the blocs. I would delete all the blokes. Is he very much older? It's such a massive gap in his own. understanding that I don't think being subtle will work. He just seems like a LinkedIn kind of guy and you can't reason with

LinkedIn kind of guys. They just like LinkedIn. I had a LinkedIn profile because I thought that would be a good thing to have and after two days I just pulled all the information off of it and have never looked back. LinkedIn is a place for this bullshit. Yeah. Like someone I worked with at a previous job

she was very senior. She's my senior person in the department. She said, people keep trying to invite me to join LinkedIn. I think LinkedIn is what you do when your career's on the up. But really, I'm trying very hard to retire right now. Like, yeah, preach. I mean, I'm not old enough to do that, but I do not want people connecting with me about my work. Do you know how we have quite a following for the podcast on Twitter and how lots of podcasts have Facebook groups? Yeah. I think a real way to set ourselves apart in this crowded marketplace is a LinkedIn group. Yes, we start a LinkedIn group for the

podcast. Yeah, for professionals who want to engage with you are being unreasonable. I sometimes, I know that you are being unreasonable friends. I worry that if I come to go for a job, people will look me up and they will find this podcast where I'm like, thing about employers is they will always take liberties, you can't trust an employer, thing about this is first against the wall, fuck everyone, I hate everything, working is immoral. And people will find that and then they'll be like, oh, she's such a good candidate, but she's got this podcast where she says way too much of what she believes. She's got this what seems to be a communist podcast. And so I don't want to introduce this podcast into LinkedIn. I wonder if perhaps a petty manager from the previous thread has a suspect

podcast and that's why they were so worried that useless subordinate would get the job because they were like, well obviously useless subordinate's not good enough but I've got my podcast. If not they should have one. Yeah. Someone said, why not say hi Paul? I don't really have any friends that our business cards would apply to, so I won't be sharing these anymore, so I don't want to spam my friends with things that aren't relevant. If I do come across anyone that I think will be interested, I will share details with them directly. I'm also happy to manage the business account as part of my role too, if that would help. No, don't start offering to take on work because your manager is inept. Yeah, Paul. Yeah, Paul. Thanks a lot, Paul. And that's when your manager

messages back, like, okay, I understand about the social media thing, but that's not my name. Who's popular now? Paul. clearly not the OP's. It sounds like the AP's admitting to not being popular. Listen, Paul, I'm not popular. My social media will not benefit our business. Having the products associated with me is, if anything, poison. I'm popular, Paul. Poison. Oh my God. Late breaking news. It is late breaking news. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. We're just going to read this thread and I'll read the whole thread as part of the speed tram, but we won't discuss it. As you may recall, in a previous episode I said

you can call a house literally anything that you want, that's fine, and doesn't need to be related to your name. You can call your house, Dr Gregory House. This just pops up on the side of it. It's a new thread. They can't call their house this. I've just been to visit my aunt and uncle,

both early 80s, very quiet living couple. They live in a colder sack of other retired folks. They put a sign up on the gatepost at the end of their drive. They proudly made it themselves. The house is now named Bell End. Do I tell them? Bell End. Bell End is a much better name than Dr. Gregory House.

Well done to great-aunt, great-uncle, Bell-end. Good name for a house. Don't tell them, they already know. Yeah, they are having a real laugh behind your back. Am I being unreasonable to think this is the world's most gorgeous human being? Sit the man in the suit. Oh, fire! Exactly.

Should we end it there? Yeah. Yeah? I have a review of the new David Lynch short film. What did Jack do at take one cinema.net? So read that and think about David Lynch. I should also have one about the VHS out soon, which is a film about VHS.

Yeah. So look at those. Enjoy them. Perfect. Thank you for listening. It's been another slightly silly one. Thank you. Thank you.

Bye. Bye.