You Are Being Unreasonable - 064 - In which we launch a pirate radio station for kids that jams frequencies to play Baby Shark

Episode Date: February 13, 2020

"I was just grateful that we didn't have a dead old man under a washing machine." Gregg Wallace gets an extension this week as we discuss the rules of etiquette for offering a worker on your property a drink (if you're the host of BBC's Eat Well For Less and Inside the Factory). If a houseguest comes to stay, should they bring a gift? And what should it be: some Frubes; a cheap Zinfandel? What motivational songs do out-of-touch Mumsnetters send to another out-of-touch Mumsnetter to pump up a Gen-Z-er? And should we let children go to pirate-themed parties so they can learn to torrent and dress up as Napster?

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when their prescription. All I know is the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day when I'm Hello, welcome to Your Being Unreasonable,

the podcast about people being Unreasonable, the podcast about people being Unreasonable, reasonable on mumsnet.com. With me, Hells. And me, Simon. It's Oscar night. It is Oscar night. The Oscars. The Academy Awards. The Glits and the glamour. The snubs. The flubs. Who do you think is going to win best bake-off episode? I think it'll be the Dairy Girls episode. Yeah. I mean, in my mind at this point, if there's ever any award going, I've already allocated it to Nicola Coughlin. Yeah. Winner of the world. I reckon she would quite like this podcast, except I'm not entirely convinced I pronounced her surname right just there. But if anyone knows her and can put her in touch, that'd be nice.

Best horse? Bojack Horseman is not a good horse. You're not supposed to be like, what a good horse. Should we crack on with the podcast? Yeah. Because there is no Oscar for Best Podcast. So really, this has nothing to do with us. No, snubbed again.

Snubbed yet again by the... We've been snubbed and the entire medium has been snubbed. So, big fuck you to the Academy Let's do the speed round Am I being unreasonable To keep on wearing maternity clothes long after birth No, I imagine they're big and baggy and nice Comfortable to work

Comfortable for pregnant ladies And non-pregnant ladies And pregnant non-ladies And non-pregnant non-ladies Very good Am I being unreasonable, neighbours' cats No, those neighbours' cats are good All cats are good

Am I being unreasonable What's happening to Philip Schofield? He's come out as gay. Am I being unreasonable? Sorry, another Phillips Gofield one. He's still gay. And then that's kind of how the whole board goes. So, yeah, I've managed to dig through and I've found four threads in this entire website,

which are not about Phillips Gofield. So Phillips Gofield is a minor celebrity in the UK who hosts a morning show on ITV. Yeah. And he came out as gay this week. And for some reason, people really care about that. And that's it. And I say that because I'm surprised by how important Phillips Gofield is to people I don't mean that in that bigoted like well it's no one's business anywhere

I don't see why anyone cares? What I mean is why are we all thinking about Phillips Gofield so much? I just didn't realise what a national treasure he was is what I'm trying to say I suppose I've misjudged the extent to which he had captured the public's hearts Do you remember when his hair went from black to grey like that like instantly? There was no transition period. Is that when he stopped hanging out with Otis the Ard fart? And God and the Gopher, yeah.

Was Otis the Yard bark someone else's, mate? No, I don't think so. I think he was friends with Otis. Okay, cool. Friends with Otis, if you know what I mean. Yeah, so you're a friend of Otis? Yeah. Okay.

Was Otis the Ardbark in a closet? He was in the broom cupboard. They both were in the broom cupboard. Which is a closet? Yeah. It's weird that headline writers aren't making more of that. I guess they've all forgotten about Otis. What I'm trying to tell everyone here is,

I hadn't realised that people loved Phillips Gofield so much and I guess I hadn't realised that I loved Otis quite so much until we started talking about Otis and now I feel like, that little hard fuck, he was all right. Yeah, he needs a gritty reboot. No, no. Like Picard, a gritty reboot. Oh, let's just do a thread, shall we?

Am I being unreasonable? To this house guest should bring a gift. I will try to be concise. recently met up with old friends who live in another city. We were once very close, but time and distance came between us. So maybe 20 years down the road, we met up again, and I invited them to visit for the weekend. They did, but brought nothing at all in the way of a thank you gift. No wine, no flowers, nutter.

At the time, I thought, oh well, they'll send a thank you card or some flowers later. Nope, nothing. Neither did they invite us to theirs in return. Although she has since said on Facebook, we must get together again. Am I being unreasonable to feel miffed? They didn't need to come at all if they didn't want to. I understand they might not feel like resuming the relationship. But why not even offer a thanks for the visit, or a bunch of flowers at the time?

We aren't a hotel. I almost felt like billing them afterwards. I didn't, by the way. When I commented on this to another friend, she said, disparagingly, you're cross because they didn't bring you a present. This made me wonder, being unreasonable? Any comments? Yeah, when my friend pointed out that I was being unreasonable, it made me wonder, am I being unreasonable? I am not a hotel, although I was going to charge

them for their stay. Okay. When I go to a hotel, I take a bunch of flowers. In lieu of payment. I brought you a bottle of Echo Falls and these yellow roses, and I think you'll find that these will quite cover the bill. If I can have an unsweet, there's this Zinfandel in it for you. Has anyone ever intentionally had a Zin Fandel? Zinfandel seems like what you would get if you bought your wine at the corner shop on the way into someone's house, and you were like, shit, I need to get some wine. That's where I buy all my wine.

The corner shop closest to the house you're visiting. And then no one at the party drinks it because it's shitty Zinfandel, and I end up taking it home, and I drink the Zinfandale. Can you imagine being in the pub with someone, and you're like, oh, I'm getting around, can get you anything? and someone's like, oh yeah, like a Zinfandel. No, you've misunderstood. It's not a joke round. You do have to drink what I buy you.

They have Cabinet. They have everything except Zimfandale because no bar would serve it. It exists solely at corner shops. Yeah, I love having friends around to see what they bring me. No other reason. In previous episodes.

I love having people around because I don't have friends. I just have people who bring me gifts. Well wishes. Yeah. In previous episodes, you've alluded to how you think it would be fine for you and your friends to just hang out and eat yogs. So, do you think houseguess should bring a six pack of yogs? A six pack of yogs, like the lads.

Yeah. Like, uh, going around to the frat house to a six bag of yogs. Yeah, this is a thing that we've definitely talked about a couple of times. So... Big thing of throobes. What would you prefer if your friends who you haven't seen for 20 years turned up with a packet of froobes? Or if your friends who you haven't seen for 20 years turned up with a bottle of zimpan down? Hmm, I think I'd like the Froobes. That'd be better.

Yeah? Wine gives me a headache nowadays. Yeah, I'm not big into wine. Especially Zinfandel, I assume. I don't particularly like wine, but I also don't particularly like Froobes. So I guess what I'm saying is I'd be happy for someone to not bring anything, because really, it'd just be awkward if they brought wine or froobs, and I was like, oh, that's lovely, thanks.

Yeah, great. Cheers. Space is a finite resource. I don't want it clogged up with Froobes and Zimfandale. If it's been 20 years since you've seen a friend, and they came round, what would be the worst thing they could bring you? They're very present. Something happened 20 years ago and we've all managed to get on with our lives. Why are they here? That's fair.

What would you go with? I don't know, like a box of cigarettes. A box of cigarettes? I don't want that. Your friend who you haven't seen since you were early in secondary school? Yeah, this is why I don't want to. I don't want to rat you out on your age, but your friend who you haven't seen for 20 years. So since you were below the smoking age of the day

No, bad Rocked up with a packet of cigarettes Is that because that would have been like currency in school No Stop the rough kids from beating you up Northern schools are not like prisons Oh Well, I know London schools are

Yeah, they're massively unreasonable Like your friend who you haven't seen in 20 years Came round and had a good time Presumably unless you were sitting there all sour face The whole time because they hadn't brought you a present Now, you don't deserve a present It seems really over the top That you haven't seen each other in 20 years

And you invited them to come for the weekend Why didn't you go for brunch? Yeah, a bit much Yeah, this is too No, they're probably trying to cool this back off Because they probably bumped into you And they're like, oh, we should do something sometime Thinking like, we'll probably never set eyes on that woman again

But at a push, maybe we'll go for, you know, some eggs And then next thing you're like, brunch, eggs Why don't you say brunch? To avoid repetition. Because it made it sound like they were going for dinner of eggs. I'd already explicitly said brunch. Yeah, they're probably freaked out. They haven't seen you for 20 years.

Next thing you know, you're like, come to my house for the whole weekend. It's not a hotel, but please bring some currency. Yeah, absolutely baffling. I simply do not know what to make of this. Also, why does the O.P. End the post with any comments? Like, that seems a bit like the O.P. doesn't actually want you to comment.

It seems like what you'd say at the end of a meeting that hadn't gone very well. Right, any comments? Okay, no, great. Well, thanks. If anyone has any comments, they can come and see me in my office. Why don't we talk about this offline? Maybe you should talk to your friend offline about how they should have brought you a pot plant. I'm tempted to say all of moms that should take this offline.

No, because that means that you'll never be able to walk past a printer without there being moms there as they're having this. these conversations. This is good because you know where to find them and you know where to avoid if you don't want to find them. Should we hear from the thread? Yes. You're being unreasonable. I don't expect guests to bring me presents. You invited them. It's not like they invited themselves. Counterpoint. You are not being unreasonable. It's basic good manners to bring a token gift when someone who isn't family is hosting you. Maybe others disagree. But did me this is basic etiquette. Same goes for being invited round for dinner and turning up without something such as wine or flowers. I disagree. Go on. Sure, it's nice to bring stuff, especially to, I would bring

stuff to a dinner party, not necessarily to dinner, because you're going to dinner in the expectation that someone's making you dinner. Yeah, if someone invites me around for dinner, I'll always say, do you want me to bring anything. Yeah, whereas I would do it unspoken at a dinner party. Yeah. Oh yeah, at a dinner party, you should take a bottle of something. Yeah, and this doesn't sound like a dinner party. It sounds like two people getting together at it a long time. For the weekend. For the weekend. It's too much. It just feels like all the etiquette was already all over the shop and so anything that happened after the point where you didn't see each other for 20 years and then agreed to spend a whole weekend together. Anything goes,

surely. Someone said I would always bring something with me. Wine, jam or chutney. I'm sorry, but I can't think of it. No, no, that is the single-based awkward social interaction. For 20 years you haven't seen someone. Then they come and stay in your house for a whole weekend. And when they arrive, they present you with chutney. Chutney is a confusing gift. No. On balance, I don't think I understand anything that's happening here. Should we hear one more thing from the thread? They should have brought something as a gift, offered to pay for a meal out while they stayed, or sent a card or flowers or wine after they left. You are not a free hotel. It doesn't sound like these people invited themselves. They haven't made any mention of living somewhere

where they were trying to use their house for the weekend. Not everything is a transaction. Oh my God. Just because someone stays in your house doesn't mean hotel. is the appropriate metaphor. That's called having friends. Yeah. Like you put people up. It's, it's not a transactional relationship. I have friends who've stayed on our sofa because, like, last train's home have been cancelled or whatever. And in the morning, I haven't presented them with the bill. I've been like, right, if you got everything, do you want any breakfast, you okay? I'll make you a cup of tea. Yeah. Cool. See you soon. I haven't said, well, your train was cancelled last night and there was no way for you to get home. So, really,

the least you can do is take me for breakfast now. You watch two hours of Pioneer Woman, and so you kind of owe me for the electricist. I just don't think people, not just on mum's stuff, I think people don't understand friendship anymore. I think people have forgotten how to interact socially. And everyone's very keen to point out that they don't owe anyone anything. No. Why can't we all just be nice?

Maybe the next poster will be nice. Am I being unreasonable? Builders requesting drinks. We are having an extension built whilst I'm on maternity leave. I have a three month old. We have two builders on site laying foundation. he started on Monday. I've been making them a drink first thing and on one occasion I made them a bacon sandwich. I don't offer drinks all day because my son keeps me very busy and only naps on me and it's a four-month job so I don't want to have to do drinks all day

for this period. This afternoon while I was playing with my son in the living room one of the builders walked past the window and requested a coffee and tea. I thought the request to be a bit cheeky as a he shouldn't have been looking in the living room and B he shouldn't have been requesting. I made him the drinks anyway, leaving my son on the play mat getting upset. I rushed outside as my son was upset and I wanted to get back to him. When I took the drinks outside, I tripped over rubble, breaking a cup and scratching my arm. The builder's reply was you should have passed it through the window. I remade the drinks but suggested in future setting up a kettle in the garage for them, but they said they can just bring their own drinks.

I'm now feeling pretty upset with them. Just needed to vent really. But what do people feel as reasonable regarding builders and drinks. Let's play a quick round of offer a drink or not. Okay, go on. Someone comes around to fix your toilet. Yeah, I'd offer them a drink. Mm-hmm. Someone comes down to build an extension.

Yeah, I'd offer them a drink. Someone comes around to service your boiler. Yeah, I'd offer them a drink. Someone comes around to deliver your online shopping. No, I wouldn't offer them a drink. I would only offer a drink to someone who was crossing the threshold. Right. Like, if someone's doing a delivery, they just get as far as the downstairs door normally.

Yeah. It seems like it would be derailing their date that invite them in. They have other deliveries to make. Yeah, whereas the other ones, they're already going to be in your house for a fixed period of time. Yeah, I think it's if they're going to be in your house long enough to realistically drink a drink. Yeah, so four months, for example. You haven't seen them for 20 years, they're coming around to service your boiler. Yeah.

You give them a drink. They don't bring you a drink. Yeah, the gift that they are bringing you is servicing your boiler. Or is it? Yeah, if you haven't seen some. one for 20 years and they come around to fix your toilet are they supposed to bring you something and you're supposed to offer them a drink yeah they bring you a flask of tea and you offer it back to them that's the etiquette in that very rare social situation i don't know i feel like she's made this a much bigger deal than it needs to be i don't know what it's like to have a very small child

but some of her like it feels like she's looking for reasons to be uptight you know yeah he shouldn't have been looking in the window he's allowed to look in the window he was just walking past window and probably because you only give them a drink when they first arrive, he's very thirsty. Yeah, I think if you haven't provided tea-making facilities, then you can't expect them to go all day on one cup of tea. It's physical work. Yeah. They'll get dehydrated. I wouldn't be able to do a day's building on one cup of tea and no other hydration. I would get a migraine. Do you want your builder to have migraines? No, because then they're going to put the bricks in badly. Yeah, because it'll be all blurry and fuzzy looking. Yeah. And then your extension's going to collapse

and all of the... And then your extension collapses and then your son's very upset. Really upset, because he's crushed. Yeah, and your arm is scratched up even worse. Because it's crushed. Your extension itself is now the pile of rubble. Yeah.

All your cups are broken. Disaster. This could all have been stopped if only you had just offered another cup of tea. It also sounds like she's come up with a solution for this already. She says, oh yeah, I said I can just put a kettle in the garage. And admittedly, perhaps it would have been better

if you thought of that to begin with, but you didn't and that's fine. But it sounds like, as you have now got a solution, why do you need to vent? Who cares? Oh, you're saying in the morning, kettle's in here, come in and help yourselves? Yeah, but if she doesn't want them coming in and out, which is fair enough if they're building and they might be all, like, rubbly and dusty, and she doesn't want to have to be

cleaning her kitchen of all of the building stuff every single day. And she's got a newborn who might be trying to sleep. Yeah, but she has said, oh, there's a kettle in the garage, great. So, problem solved. You don't need to make this a whole thread, and you certainly don't need how many? 713 replies to it.

There's a kettle in the garage and I have laid out a selection of tea bags from mid-range to budget. I would like you to rank them over the course of building the extension. Yeah, taste test. I'm Greg Wallace. Oh no, Greg Wallace has scratched his arm. And he's on maternity leave. Oh no. The handyman who our landlord sends round. He came round once and he told me that he Yeah. He couldn't have caffeine anymore because he has a heart problem.

Because he's an old man with a heart problem. He's 80 years old. That's not an exaggeration. He is literally an 80 year old man. So I said, you want a cup of tea? And he said, I can't have caffeine anymore because I've got a heart problem. And then he picked up our washing machine. And I was like, no, this is not good. Let me help. And then he said that I shouldn't have to help because I'm only small. And I'm a woman. And I was thinking, well, you're not much taller with me. Maybe in your day you were, but you've shrunk old man. And you've got a heart problem. Anyway, the gist of this is

His heart problem does not stop him from carrying a washing machine about single-handed But it did mean that he asked me very nicely If we had any infusions You got any infusions? So I pointed him towards the infusions, made him a cup of tea I stayed in the kitchen talking to him The whole time he was doing what he was doing

Not because I didn't trust him But because if he collapsed, I wanted to be there I thought I might need to do CPR I don't want to find him after it's too late Yeah, you don't want to find him after the fact You want to see what happens, so you can describe it to the powermedics. Yeah, and he got through like three infusions in the time that he was faffing about with our washing machine. I didn't begrudge him that.

I was just grateful that we didn't have a dead old man under a washing machine. Yeah, always grateful for that. Yeah, always grateful for that until the day that it's not there to be grateful for. And then you've got a real problem on your hands. You get home and you're like, how did this old man get under our washing machine? What do I do with the body? And where are all the infusions? I'm sure she is having a very difficult time

Her child is very young And if a child only sleeps when she's there And she doesn't want to leave the child alone Then I get all of that, I really do But it really seems like maybe she needs to find other activities Because perhaps she's a bit isolated But with all of this other stuff going on And so she's just desperately seeking anything

To start a mum's let's thread about Because I don't understand how this is such a big issue I set the tone by saying Here's the tea Here's the coffee Here's the kettle And leave it at that That's not even an offer

That's just showing off all the stuff you've got. Little tone policing. I set the tone by showing off all of my belongings like a small child. I set the tone by making them kneel while they do the work so they know their place. I always offer drinks on a regular basis

throughout the day if someone is working on my house. I don't think he was cheeky to ask at all. No, I think he's certainly allowed to look at the window. And then lots of people are really micromanaging and over-explaining how making a cup of tea works. I would supply them with tea. coffee, milk, sugar, a kettle, some mugs. Yeah, we get it. Yeah. This is what all the mugs in the cupboard are for. Oh my gosh. The day you have an extension with lots of builders. This is when you get all those mugs out.

And then I feel like this comment from the thread sums up what you were just saying as well. So we'll use this to draw this one to a clive. God forbid you'd offer sustenance to someone working on your premises for months. How dare the proles express their own needs? Don't they realize there's a hierarchy here? Yeah. Yeah. These builders, and I just mean the builders working on the extension, not the building firm. Need to unionise against you, the person not making tea. Yeah, great. We want tea, we want tea. We want tea. Strike, strike, strike. A wildcat strike until you get tea. I think in that instance, if it's just the two builders that are around your house, you just sack them and get new builders, wouldn't you? Scab. Scabs.

I'm just saying realistically what I think is most likely to happen. I've got something new for your health. It's called Employment Law. All right. Shall we do another thread? Am I being unreasonable? Appeal to younger posters, I think. My D-D starts her mocks tomorrow.

She's 15. She's into rap, but into pot and everything, really. Do you know an inspirational song that I might send her? I can only think of the Eye of the Tiger, or you're simply the best, but I realise I'm a few decades out of date being her mother. I just want to say best of luck. No pressure in a language she'll understand.

musically and lyrically. Oh, and then the OP comes back and says, what, into pot? What the fuck? That should read Pop, for fuck's sake. Which makes more sense. I thought she was just being extremely chill about her daughter being a massive stoner. Like, I want to send a song to my daughter, she's kind of a stoner,

she's doing her mocks. Okay, great. But then I got high. Yeah, that is motivational in a way. Like, you don't want to be like that guy. No, don't be like that guy. But I think the motivation... He had loads of things to do, but then he got high.

Yeah? He had to pay his child support, but then he got high. My favourite one is, I was going to make love to you, but I was high. I was going to eat your pussy too, but I was high. Yeah, can't. Can't do it. Who are you talking to? Laser. Like, terrible.

Too sleepy. Terrible. Get the munchies. Or not. Or not, as the case may be. This is just, I picked this one because you know how much I love it when out of touch mums netters ask other out of touch mums letters on ways that they can relate to people who are not a mumsnet demographic. It's like when that woman wanted a DJ name for her son,

everyone was like, how about Teen Jay? How about DJ Good Beats? How about DJ banging tunes? I feel like it's that sort of a thread. Well, we are the people to come to because we're well up on the music nowadays. Which is why I'm going to suggest Old Town Road by Little Ness. Sure. A song from the last two years?

I'm going to say, I think that song is pushing two years old. It's not even... But it is from the last two years. Yeah, so it is more modern than I of the Tiger, we'll give it that. Yeah. Is it motivational? That's a song that I don't know. I'm not sure I've ever heard it.

I have a question. Why doesn't she just say, good luck, no pressure. Got to send a song, got to send a song through WhatsApp. She should send face down, ass up. No, no. Like that other poster did when her daughter should have been advising. Yeah, and that didn't work out well. They had to do a mum's not fred about it, and we had to talk about it.

My teens love songs from the 80s. They have to pick house songs to sing at the end of year, and it's always songs like, We Are the Champions by Queen. So the ones you've chosen are fine. No, they're too old. So is We Are the Champions by Queen. Yeah.

What about something by Swifty? Swiftie does some fairly motivational songs, don't she? Yeah. She does songs about letting it go, and then she doesn't really let it go because she does a whole album about you. Kanye. How about, how about any of those Keshe songs that are a big fuck you to Dr. Luke?

Yeah. Again, these seem fairly inspirational for one specific thing. Yeah, and again, they're not even from the last couple of months. You can do it from the producers? I thought you were, yeah, no, I don't know that that's going to go down one with a rap-loving teen. Someone has suggested, that M&M one, lose yourself. No, or not lose yourself. Right.

Can I just point out, this person wants recent songs, and Lose Yourself is from 2002, 2003. Eight Mile came out as a 15 when I wasn't old enough to go and see it, so it predates 2005. Yeah, these are old songs, these are vintage. Yeah, so you've asked the wrong audience here. Lose Yourself is about panicking as well, like his hands are sweaty, his tummy's like spaghetti. His tummy is not like spaghetti. Has anyone got any good suggestion? A polyphonic spree.

That's probably older than lose yourself. I don't know modern songs. No one on MomsNet does either. No one does. Someone said maybe, don't throw away my shot from Hamilton. It's the cringiest selection of people not knowing what songs are called I've ever seen. Yeah, it's not four years ago. It's like I've been on a radio show last year to promote a solo show I was doing,

and it's a radio show by someone who's got a show about theatre, and she was talking about how much she loves Hamilton. And then she was like, yeah, like, there's that amazing line in Hamilton, isn't there? You know, immigrants, we do things well. And I was just like, you are live on air. No, they're... Immigrants, we do things well. Sweeter.

Only on Wonsworth Local Radio. But somebody thinks that was the line. Immigants do do things well. Yeah, great. The AP came back and was like, I'm just going to send her eye of the tiger. Like, clearly, there's low. and loads of suggestions and this is the OP attempting to be kind and just be like, it's okay. It's okay. I'm good with Ryan the Tiger.

And then someone has said, my son listens to a lot of panic at the disco. High Hopes is a good motivational song. Because he's got high hopes. He's got high hopes. Is it out? No, High Hopes is the one from the Mayor Pete video. So High Hopes is a great motivational song. If rather than mocks, your daughter has got the Democratic nomination that she needs to be. going through. And needs the motivation to keep pushing

through despite losing Iowa. Even though she built the app. So honestly, I've only known that Mayor Pete wasn't a meme for like three weeks and it has been a wild ride. Yeah, who knew? Who knew? I thought he was just big on TikTok. I honestly was absolutely convinced that it was

just a character, like a really well-developed character piece. I thought it was Nathan Fielder. I mean, we all did. It was the only logical explanation for any of this. Are today's kids into motivational stuff, like Gen Z, aren't they, like, nihilists? No, aren't they the ones that are really kind to each other on the internet? Oh yeah, it's millennials who are nihilists. It's us. Yeah. We're the baddies. That's why we don't know any motivational songs. Exactly. That's why someone suggested a motivational song, and then sarcastically,

I was like, yeah, great if you're Mayor Pete. Whereas this Gen Z kid probably be like, Oh, thanks mum, I really appreciate you taking the time to send that. What a nice song. It's not my normal favourite genre, but, you know, the sentiment was lovely. Yeah, it's just us who are drowned in Ireland. Yeah, oh, well, I hope that her daughter Mayor Pete has a really good time with the nomination. And then one last one, someone has said, we used to sing gold by Spandau Ballet before exams.

Gold, gold, gold. I can't think of anything more distressing. You're waiting to go into an exam, you're nervous, your tummy's like spaghetti. Yeah. And then there's just some prick in the background. Gold, gold! Holding up a boombox, like I can say anything. The OP came back one more time and said again,

thank you for the suggestions. I went old school and sent her this, and that time sent a link to the YouTube video for Eye of the Tiger. Yeah. The OP really desperately wants people to stop suggesting songs. Am I being unreasonable to refuse to send my child to a pirate party? A nursery friend of my four-year-old DS is having a pirate-themed birthday party. I'm planning to decline the invite, as I don't think it's appropriate.

for little children, or anyone for that matter, to dress up as a pirate. It's glorifying and sentimentalising criminal men who raped, robbed and murdered. For fuck's sake, piracy used to carry the death penalty until recently. You wouldn't let your child go to a Nazi-themed party. I can't see much difference. Wow, that's a take. Yeah. That's a spicy take.

Ooh, fire. It is, ooh, fire. I don't know why you would invoke the Nazis. Yeah. This, she could have said all of this stuff about how pirates are bad without saying anything about going to a Nazi themed party. I think a Nazi themed party would be a bad children's birthday party. I'm not afraid to say it.

Wow. I'm going to condemn all these Nazi children's parties that I know are happening around the country. That is, that is, I'm glad that someone has come out and stood up for what they believe in. Thank you. We need people like you. Yeah, a nursery friend of my DS is having a pirate themed birthday party. I'm planning to decline because I don't have. think it's appropriate for little children to be learning how to torrent and download illegal

movies. I think with Spotify and Netflix and the wide availability of multimedia, that children don't need to pirate music anymore. I'm dressing my kid up as Napster. I would absolutely love to see a party full of kids dressed as pirates in that sense. Yeah. Or like a pirate. Little anonymous masks.

Yes. Or, um, pirate radio, a pirate radio theme party, just loads of four-year-olds, like, their crackly radio, talking really quickly, playing, playing one of the banging tunes. They were just hopping in here on the frequency. Yeah. Because we've got high hoax. Hi-hooks. Yeah, a pirate radio station run by kids that hijacks frequencies and plays nursery rhymes.

Baby shock to do, do, da, baby shock to do. Baby shock to do. Baby shock to do that. Don't have been this shuck. You will be a little, I would listen to that. That's probably about, you know, like a three-hour slot sometime in the middle of the night on Resonance 104.4.4 that does exactly that. And if there isn't, I want to pitch that show. I want to borrow your four-year-olds, and I want to put them on resonance. No, you shouldn't be teaching your kids how to turn.

No, they should work it out for themselves. They need to become self-sufficient. Yeah, figure it out for yourselves. Like the rest of us had to. Pull yourself up by your bootstrap. These people complaining about all the streaming services, like, oh, now I'll have to pay another £7 a month for Disney Plus. Otherwise, there's no way I'll see this one show I want to see.

Don't you remember the Lost Arts? Don't you remember the secrets? These kids are forgotten. Exactly. Got no work ethic. Exactly. Back in my day. In my day, you had to get a VPN, a client.

Back to this, though. Pirates and Nazis. Grudge match. Pirates and Nazis sounds like a Tarts and Vickers party. Four-year-old DS has been invited to a Tarts and Vickers party. Oh no. So the Nazis killed six million people. Yes.

Pirates did rape and murder and steal from people. Yeah. But they didn't kill six million people in a racially motivated genocide. They did not. They were not organised in that way. No. Even contemporary pirates, like Somali pirates. Yeah.

Don't kill six million people in a racially motivated genocide. Yeah. So it is different. It is a bit different. Yeah, I would say it's different. I also wonder about, do you think she'd be okay if it was like a prince and princess themed party? Because we could take a look at some of the damage done by monarchy and colonialism and how many people died because of that. And patriarchy.

And patriarchy. DS has been invited to a man-themed party in which all the four-year-old boys are going to dress up as little businessmen. But I know what businessmen have done So I'm not going to let him go My daughter wants to dress up as Harley Quinn having seen the Birds of Prey movie But I know that Harley Quinn is a criminal Who dated a bad clown

I'm fairly sure that a child Should not have seen that film I'm pretty sure it's like a 15 Yeah probably This has the tone of that old Piracy ad actually You remember you wouldn't steal a car You wouldn't steal a house

you wouldn't let your child go to a Nazi themed party yeah I just think you can take this to its logical conclusion you can find anything that would be a common party theme that can be problematic like would you let your kid go to a Disney party because while we're on Nazis mm you could take this to a lot of extremes and there's a lot of things you could say aren't appropriate for children but we all know that pirate parties are just about putting on a funny hat aren't they and saying that's all that's going to happen it's not going to be a party where all the games are themed around pillaging

yeah you're not going to learn historic accounts of piracy in the Caribbean during the 17th and 18th centuries although if you are then well done you for sparing your kid that party doesn't sound like a barrel of laughs does it yeah so the colonies of the British and the French were kind of colliding at this time in history and people like blackbeard were occupied places like nassau to really really stick it to these colonial overseers somebody's come along

on the thread and said i think they're more likely to play past the parcel musical statues than rape and murder each other you could always clarify that with the parents though that's good they're good they are good they are good they are good yeah yeah hi i'm just bobby's mother i'm just wondering what what proportion of the party will be raping and murdering. Like 50%. Someone said, it depends on the cultural meaning of pirate in your community. If you're in Somalia, I quite agree. If you're outlawing Peter Pan, etc., I do get your point, but I find it ridiculous. And this is nonsense because Peter Pan was famously anti-pirate. Yeah, Peter Pan was a boy. Peter Pan was a lost boy, and his mortal enemy was a pirate.

Ridiculous. Captain Hook. Would you let your child go to a party dress as Peter Pan, though? You don't want your child to get lost. Yeah. Oh, great. Now you've encouraged children to be lost. Fantastic. Now your kids dressed up as a little Sherlock Holmes. Oh, an opium smoker. And high functioning sociopath. Yeah. Oh, now your kids dressed up as Robin Hood, a thief and brigand. She'd dress him up as the sheriff of Nottingham, who was just trying to collect taxes. That seems like something Mumsnetters would do. I don't know. I feel like if I ever did have a kid, looking out for the other kids who were the parents, sorry, the children of mumsnets because they would be the ones who turn up in little police uniforms and they're just there to make

sure that everyone has good, clean fun or no fun at all if that's what it takes. You know what I do find strange though? Go on. In this same line of marketing children's characters is the marketing for the latest Star Wars movies and the toys around it, where you can get like little Kylo Ren masks and sort of the theme of the toys is pick which side you're on, light or dark. Yeah. I think it's because Kylo Ren's more sympathetic than Darth Vader was, so it's a little more grey.

But they're still space Nazis. Yeah. You're still picking between space Nazis. Or not. Yeah. It's a weird marketing strategy. It is a weird marketing strategy, but you've got to remember that the side that's not space Nazis have got a woman, a black guy.

Yeah, an Asian woman. Yeah. I mean, just about, they did a number on Rose and I'm still mad about it. Yeah. So mad about it. She deserved better. And, you know, there are some mum's letters. There are a lot of mum's netters who I think we'd feel a lot more comfortable with just, you know, the sad white boy.

My DS is a sad white boy and I'm glad to see. I'm glad to see he has a real figure. Yeah. I assume this person is taking the piss, but I've spent enough time, you know, traversing these boards to think, oh, that might be wishful thinking. They might genuinely believe all of this. Very sad. No, shall we do one more speed round? Am I being unreasonable, crap is as sweary as fuck.

Yeah, obviously not. Am I being unreasonable to not know what waste disposal is for? To get rid of waste? What are these this week? Am I being unreasonable? Puddle Saga thread four. We'll do a bonus Patreon-only episodes on the Puddle Saga. Yeah, we talk about the Puddle Saga occasionally.

I've talked about it. it before. Yeah. You get 1,000 posts to a thread before they close the thread. Oh, gosh. So if they're on thread four, that's 3,000 plus the 188 that we're already here. 3,188 posts about a puzzle. We need to do a serialised serial type podcast on that.

Yep. And I'm being unreasonable, subtle ways to say, fuck you. Well, crap you according to that last poster. So there we go. Well, time for us to crap off. Thanks for listening. You can follow us on Twitter at YABian Reasonable If you have suggestions of threads

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