You Are Being Unreasonable - 070 - In which we clap for the soap opera actors

Episode Date: April 9, 2020

"Designated survivor, Ian Beale." We're organising clapping for Mumsnetters this week. We're clapping for everyone else in the country so why not Mumsnetters? Mumsnet is full on lockdown nowadays so we cover what counts as essential shopping and whether this includes two cucumbers, how soap operas should handle this global health crisis, how and when to name and shame your neighbours for failing to clap, and if anyone would like to have penises for arms.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when they're prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day when I fell the way to you. Hello, welcome to you, Ab being unreasonable.

the podcast about people being unreasonable on mumsnet.com with me, Hells. And me. Simon, how's the lockdown treating your health? You know, it's okay. I shaved my own undercut a week ago, and so now it's grown through enough that it looks okay again, rather than patchy and scary. How about you? I've been clapping a lot. I've just been clapping all the time. Do you think we're going to clap for mumsnetters at any point?

Maybe. Yeah, like we could clap for mumsnettors, but I don't know how we'd organise getting everyone to do it. some Monsnet. Yeah, but do you think everyone around us is on Mumsnet? That would be one way to find out who is on Mumsnet. Exactly. But what's the use in changing your username all the time as someone advocated in our last episode? If you're then going to go out on the street and bang a pop, you're like, I use Mumsnet. Yay! Like stomp, but for Mumsnet. Good for us. Oh, dearie me. Should we do the speed round? Let's. Am I being unreasonable? Puddle Saga, Thread 4.

Still going, eh? Still going. 1332 posts in Thread 4, 3,832 posts in total about a puzzle. Am I being unreasonable, collecting slash ordering takeaway? No, just be careful to wipe things down first. That's allowed. They're key workers. Am I being unreasonable? Would you do this? No. I would do a lot of things for love if I wouldn't do that. So, before I launched into the threads, I was saying that I've been rationing out some pre-lockdown threads to try and keep us, you know, ticking over. But, As the lockdown has sort of taken hold and people have adjusted to the way that things are for the time being... A new normal.

I hate the phrase the new normal. The new normal is such a troubling thing to say. Why have you all accepted it so readily? It's been less than three weeks. What is wrong with you? No, as we accept this sort of temporary way of doing stuff, people on mums there have just slipped back into their old habits. So two weeks ago, all the threads of people panicking and I didn't feel like it was right to make fun of the people who were genuinely afraid for their live.

and their well-being's. But now everyone's just gone back to being a snitch with a bad scheme or a pointless beef. So, we're going to do some lockdown threads. Classic Mumsnet. Classic Mumsnet. Shall we begin? Am I being unreasonable to wonder if cucumbers are an essential purchase? Women walked out of Tesco in front of me carrying two cucumbers only.

What the fuck? Got to do something to keep yourself amused during lockdown? Yeah. Two cucumbers. Yeah. Wow. Goodness. I mean, was the second one the essential purchase?

You're going to use those both at the same time? Something for the weekend, ma. I have heard that there is a global shortage of something for the weekend on the horizon. Oh, no. I think because there are more people spending more time indoors, I read somewhere that this was a thing that people are predicting. Oh dear. Yeah.

We need the super furry animals now more than ever. Do we? Yeah. Do we, though? So are cucumbers an essential purchase? Well, I mean, they say that's the question, but that's not the question, is it? The question is, join me in judging somebody. Yeah, I imagine that's going to be a theme, because it seems to be the theme of the lockdown.

It's just that we judge people. Judge your neighbours, judge people in parks, judge people for going outside, judge people for exercising in the wrong way. I was on my state-mandated exercise earlier this afternoon, and I... State-mandated, makes it sound like they've made it. you exercise. They say you can exercise once a day. My state sanctioned exercise. My state sanctioned. My state sanctioned exercise. The state mandated exercise is when Joe Wicks comes on

YouTube at 9. That's true. That is state mandated P.E. Joe Wicks comes on like the big brother screens. Wake up citizens. It's time to exercise. And then if you drop out before you get to the end of it, it's like the hunger games with the cannon in the sky. All the people who do not complete P.E. today. A big spotlight comes on to you. Like in every dystopian film ever. The big claw from the Hunger Games that picks up people. No. Yeah, so while I was doing my state sanctioned exercise, there was a guy in the park playing jazz flute and I thought, this is it.

This is going to be the point where I give up and snitch, because what the hell are you doing? It's weird, it's haunting. It takes a while to work out where it's coming from. So he's just like cutting through the park, you're having a nice time, you're staying two meters away. But in the distance, jazz flute why did you follow him well because he was just sitting there he was sitting in the balls course which is closed at the moment so he was just in this like dug out bit so that it had a weird echo around him he must have chosen it for the acoustic he climbed over a wall to get into the balls course which is sunk into the park to play jazz flute it's like no this this will be the point where i snitch i'm calling the cops not because he's broken in but because he's playing

jazz flute he wasn't the pied piper of coronavirus he's the pied piper of hashtag selfish pricks, playing a little tune for everyone to sunbathe to. But this is it. You're allowed to grow out an exercise. So if you're using those cucumbers or the pipe flute for exercise, it's fine. Okay. If you're lifting the cucumbers, if you're stretching your old thingies with the finger in on that flute. I mean, this makes me wonder if there's just a variation of the warm-up game, two obejines that uses the word cucumbers. Two cucumbers, two cucumbers. What would you do? It was two cucumbers. The first one I would take to the park. The second, I would show to a knack. Perfect.

Two cucumbers. Two cucumbers. There's so many threads. There are so many. I pitched this one because, like, at least, oh, two cucumbers, a bit boreding. But every third thread right now is, well, I saw somebody and they're only buying one pint of milk. And frankly, if you're going to go to the shops, you should buy at least six pints of milk. Otherwise, you're just going to have to go back to the shops tomorrow, assuming that everyone gets through six points of milk in a week. I can't carry that many milks. Oh, and a lot of people seem to be forgetting that some people are unable to carry more than the amount they're purchasing. Yeah.

Like, maybe they don't have access to a car, or maybe they do, but they still couldn't carry that much. Or maybe they're living really hands-a-mouthed. We don't know their situation, so I'm trying to knock on them for having a cucumber. Grow up. Do we not have enough to deal with? Yeah, this seems fine to me. Cucumbars are a nice, healthy food that will help boost your immune system for these trying times. I walked out of Sainsbury's yesterday with two.

Two Easter eggs, because it's almost Easter. Two Easter eggs, two Easter eggs. Yeah, but you didn't only buy two Easter eggs, did you? Exactly. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, the people on the thread are not really feeling the OP. They're all like, I'll just mind your business, whatever. And then someone has said, well, technically nothing is an essential food purchase during this time,

as most healthy people could survive three weeks without eating. That's a ball take. So, yep, if you can survive three weeks without eating, don't you dare go to the shops? Don't you dare? dare you're killing people and that post is by user matt hancock should be doing another thread it's a content note on this thread it's mum's net so obviously it's got a really binary view of how gender and genitalia work that being said it's a funny thread we're going to do it anyway are being unreasonable would you want to

have a man's genitalia for a day light-hearted thread but me and some girls were discussing whether or not you would want a penis attached to you for the day I don't think I would, as I wouldn't know how to sit down, etc. It would be cumbersome. Plus, I wouldn't want to, well, well, you know. Cucumbusum. Cucumbusant, nice. It's shaped like a cucumber. Yeah, okay. Fine. Like you've highlighted, the question's actually, would you like to have a penis for a day? Which a woman can have. But going forward, we will just take the question to be, would you like to have a penis for the day? Attached to you. Has to be attached to you. Don't say where. Well, quite.

are these girls she was talking to? What? Me and some girls? Which girls? Girls are children? Are you being a creepy pedo? Are you on some sort of online board saying to some small children? Some little girls? Hello, girls. Would you like a penis attached to you? Look, man, homeschooling is hard. It's difficult to keep kids amused during the day. This poster on a Zoom call with 36-year-old girls

while she asked them where they would like the penis attached to. How about your ear? Yay. Shoulder? No. How would you get your jacket on? Heads? Heads, shoulders, knees and toes.

Heads, shoulders, penis toes, am I right? Nice. I don't want one penis, I want ten and I want them attached to my feet. Edward penis toes. Would you rather have one penis instead of one of your lower arms or ten penises instead of your toes? Instead of one of my lower arms? Yeah. So from the elbow down, it's a penis.

All of these penises are like proportional to the size of the body part that they're taking over from. So the toe penises are very small and the lower arm penis is very big. Do I pee out of them? No, they're just decorative. They don't do anything. Well, I mean, they help you balance if they're the ones that are into your feet. Do they get erect? Yes.

That seems like it could be fairly awkward. Well, it depends on context. More awkward than just having a penis for an arm. the base rate of having a penis furrow would be even more awkward if it suddenly gets bigger accidentally hitting yourself with it stop hitting yourself I don't think I would so I wouldn't know how to sit down etc it's hard so to speak it's difficult to sit down because it's it's flopping around down there getting in everyone's business like well I hope it's not getting in everyone's

business. Consent. Come on, consent. Flopping about getting in my business, getting all in the way. Someone has said, the only time I've genuinely had penis envy is when I've run marathons. Now, I assume this is somebody talking about whether it's easier to stop in a marathon to take away with a penis or without one. But it made me think of Juno, you know, at the start of Juno, where she's watching all the people on the running track and she's just like, all I see is pork swords. yeah so maybe it is that well this yeah this this poster highlights that this is what Freud was talking about right this is Freud's penis envy Freud's penis envy all these years later these hundreds of years later and Freud's been proven right by mum's nut these

these women are wondering about penis and envy well but a lot of them aren't someone here has said not a chance they're not the prettiest of appendages oh I guess Freud's wrong What would be the prettiest body part to have extra attached to your body, not necessarily in the place or for the function that it's intended? Like, eyes are very pretty, but I wouldn't want an extra one lolloping around anywhere. Mm-hmm. Bum? Extra bum? Yeah.

On top of your existing bum? No, not a double-decker bum. Somewhere else. Maybe on my chest. So it looks like cleavage if I wear the right top. Yeah? But it's actually a bum. Don't be fooled.

There's that tits. That's a bum. Is that what you would say to people? Oh look, Simon's transitioning. No, no, it's a bum. Oh, okay. I'm transitioning to a front bum. Oh, great.

I'm going to learn to use this bum on my chest and eventually get the lower bum removed. But why? Hmm? Someone has said, I'd love to have a one-day trial. One-day trial. If you're not completely satisfied, just call this number. A one-day trial makes it sound like the most harrowing concept.

No, I don't like the fact they've used to a trial Speaking as a penis owner You cannot master the penis in a day Wow There's all kinds of nuances I'm a bit useless at remembering to cancel trials of things

Like I'd be worried that I would miss the cut off For cancelling the trial And then it would be on a rolling basis for a year I've got another year of this Oh no And you're paying now Great, they've taken £119 from my bank account And I can't get rid of it for a year

It's a lot for a penis I don't know if it is. No, you're probably right. You remember that a German cannibal who ate that man's penis? I wonder what he paid. We simply cannot say. Is that just a transaction? I honestly don't know.

I want my penis eaten. You want to eat a penis. Let's just get together. Like trading fruit in Animal Crossing. I really don't know. I listen to a podcast about this. So I sort of vaguely know what happened. And I know that the guy who got eaten was consenting to it.

Like, he wanted to be eaten for a really long time, I think. But I don't know what the financial situation was. is what I'm saying. And being unreasonable, I've been named and shamed. Admittedly, only on a local WhatsApp group. Opened it this morning and there's a message from a founder member of the group. Me, Hubbs and the kids were out last night making lots of noise for our NHS heroes. Disappointed to see that some of this group don't care enough to give up two minutes of their time.

Maybe you forgot. They're in a list of names including mine. We'll be sending you a reminder next week. she's a twat, but I'm fuming. I'm not going to dignify it with a reply because she and her little crew of followers love a public war. I'm just going to ignore her, but if she really thinks she's forcing me out next week, she's got a bloody another think coming. To be honest, if I wasn't on lockdown, I wouldn't even give it two thoughts, but I'm winding myself up about it now. And being unreasonable to think that clapping is not compulsory and it's nobody

else's business. Nation of snitches. Nation of bootlicking snitches. Always clapping. Just clapping and bootlicking. That's all anyone's doing. I'm impressed that we've managed to find an even more ineffective form of political protests than the march. Yeah, so there's the petition. Where does that fit between the march and clapping? The petition. I forget about the petition. Never forget about the petition. Petitions are especially good when what they're asking for is really vague.

I love it when someone starts a petition and they're just like, demand a better situation. What are you on about? So many really vague petitions have been doing the rounds. should get rid of COVID-19. Oh, I see you didn't sign my COVID-19 position, so it looks like someone's on the virus's side. I think COVID-19's been nothing but a hassle. Frankly, it's been rude. Disrespectful.

Yeah. No, no. We don't have to clap for everything. We don't have to clap for mum's nutters. We don't have to clap for the little heroes. We don't have to clap for miniature heroes. So it's the 7th of April, and this episode will be released on. the 9th of April so we don't know what new clapping is going to be suggested between now and

the release of the episode. But so far, we've had two rounds of clapping for the NHS. One was for the NHS and then one was for all key workers. Right. Then I saw someone suggesting that we clap for our little heroes, meaning children, because it's hard for children to have to stay indoors, so they deserve a round of applause. Now, if these kids are indeed little heroes and they're all indoors, why are we clapping on the street for them? Yeah. And also, We're all staying indoors, kids. We're all staying indoors, and I appreciate that it must be difficult for children. Probably more difficult for the parents of those children, but it wasn't suggesting that we clap our parent heroes.

Maybe there next week. Well, yeah. We've got to clap once a week. And then today, I saw that we should be clapping for Boris Johnson. On a local Facebook group, someone said, clap for Boris, show respect with no punctuation. And then because we live in South East London in quite a good lefty bit of South East London, Everyone just comment on it like, no, absolutely not, no, I can disagree with the man's politics and still hope he makes a recovery, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go and clap on the street.

And then the person he posted it, came back and said, you're all dickheads. And then they deleted the post. So it'll be interesting to see if that person lives somewhere nearby and we spot her clapping. Yeah, yeah, it'll be interesting to see, as of recording, Boris Johnson is in intensive care and it'll be interesting to see who claps for him later, if anyone. I, for one, I'm going to show him the same level of empathy that he would show me if I was suffering. You're not going to do something actively hateful, are you? Because that's what he would do to you. It's important to look at people on the street and see if they're clapping,

because I think we should be clapping 24-7. Yeah, I think... There's a tough time, and we need to clap for everyone at all times. Maybe if we can get it going, like some sort of Mexican wave, and we can organise it so that it works in a cycle. So you just, you know when your bit of clapping's going to come back. And then we can always have people clapping constantly, up and down the country. If you don't, you get named and shamed on WhatsApp on all your group chats.

And then someone will screenshot the naming and shaming. And then someone else will screenshot that naming and shaming. And then someone will post that on Facebook. And someone will screenshot that and post it back to WhatsApp. Yeah, yeah, this is good. No, I mean, back to the topic, it's obviously beyond the pale to name and shame someone on a local WhatsApp group. Like, that's not cool.

Yeah. Why if someone can't go outside to clap? What if they have penises for arms? Or they're otherwise, you know, unable to clap up for whatever reason. I thought you made me a genuine point about the people who are unable to go outside or unable to clap. I was doing both. You're just doing a penis bit again. I was doing both.

It can be both. Well, now we know two penises, two penises. What are you going to do with two penises? Clap for Boris Johnson. Ineffectively slap them together. To show respect. Two penises equal to respect. I saw wrong.

dignify it with a reply, and I'd say, don't be a fucking snitch. So on our local mutual aid Facebook group, like, bear in mind, the mutual aid groups were started by good people with good politics. Like, mutual aid groups came from good, progressive, queer politics, and they've been taken over by all of the local Facebook people. You know the people, the people, but Karen is apparently a slur now, so I can't call them Karen's. I have to beep that out, but you know the people.

It seems to be a theme, right, because rainbows. are now not LGBT symbols anymore, but just symbols of, like, solidarity and support. Yeah. Right? You're supposed to put a rainbow in your window. Yeah. But not for pride. Absolutely, no. Someone on Mum's Net was very upset about that.

So I guess this is just the time when we appropriate all these queer symbols. Yeah. So on our mutual age group, which did start as a good progressive queer thing for people looking out for each other because the structures certainly weren't going to bother. All these people have now taken over. And there was a discussion earlier about

whether or not we should be naming and shaming people who've been going outside. And, like, loads of people are like, well, when lives are at risk, I think it's important that we name and shame. Like, how, how is you posting your neighbour's name on Facebook going to save lives? It's not important. It might make you feel temporarily in control of the situation. And if that's the case, there are lots of really good resources out there that can help you channel that energy into something else.

It's not going to save lives. It's abhorrent behavior. Yeah. Stop it. Yeah. I went for my walk the other day wearing a pair of glittery tights and like a mini dress because I like clothes. Because you're fabulous. Yeah, these things make me happy.

But because I wasn't dressed like I was exercising, I was frankly dressed like I was coming home from a night out and it was the middle of the day. People were so openly giving me the filthiest looks. Whenever I've been out in just regular clothes, everyone smiles politely and we, you know, slalom across the road. But people were really quite hostile about seeing someone being fabulous. I'm sure that if any of those people knew my name I would have appeared on the naming and shaming list Yeah, but fortunately none of our neighbours know who we are This woman was simply too fabulous

She was wearing big reflective sunglasses and glissory tights She is killing people No, I'm not I'm keeping more than two metres distance I'm just going for a walk It is difficult to claim that the clapping is nobody else's business though because the people who are clapping are getting all up in our business

Like we can hear them So they're in our business Yeah, it's the new wearing a puppy. You have to do it. Otherwise you get shamed. And named. The queen wasn't clapping in her address the other day. I would have loved it if the queen's address had just been her alone clapping more and more frantically. Is that citizen cane I'm thinking of? Yeah. Yeah. I wish that had been her address. Instead her address was some out of touch, tone deaf, craven nonsense. So there we go.

reasonable, what will the soaps do? Apologies if there is another weirdo out there that's thought of this before me. But how will the soaps respond to this in their storylines? Things happen all around the globe all the time, but soaps can convincingly gloss over them. A bit like your ignorant friend or family member that takes no interest in current events. But this is different. This is the one thing that is affecting each and every one of us. Will it be in future storylines? I don't watch soaps ever, but I'm bored and music. over ridiculous stuff. Please don't be a smart arse and tell me I need to get out more.

It's tough. The soaps want to stay relevant, but I think they should just... Well, they're obviously not going to be filming, right? Because you can't go to the studio and act with more than two metres distance between you. Oh, I've got a suggestion. Go on. They get the actors to green screen in the set for the home that they live in in the soap. Wow.

And then they do like a weird, gritty, Ken Loach style. thing where it's just very slow and very quiet and it's just the actors not really doing anything because the actors are in lockdown and the characters are in lockdown and it's just whatever the actors would be doing just silently but they've green screened in the set for the character and they just broadcast that I think you know how you can set your background on Zoom to be something yeah you get the photos of the set and the characters the actors just do it from their homes like they just record it as a Zoom chat record their lines with the background set to what the backgrounds would be in the soap.

Oh, so you think that they should just carry on with the soap doing normal storylines and not acknowledge it? Yeah, don't acknowledge it. But it's obviously just a Zoom chat because you're just going between one person looking dead into the camera and another person looking dead into the camera. That's Master Chef's shtick.

Okay, that's also an option. Or, a return to all-timey radio dramas. Like, they just record the audio for it and just have a black screen. or maybe a screensaver with the audio of the scripts on top of them. Yeah, that would be good. So it's like Vera Duckworth, just shouting, but you can't see Vera Duckworth. Or they could just flash up with just a picture of the character who's speaking.

So it's just like a constant, like, just headshot after headshot. Yeah. All the people that would be in the scene. So if there would be six people in the scene, there's just three headshots at the top and three headshots at the bottom. And then it goes big. So, like, when you set your Zoom, so rather than having it as just everyone the same size, it makes the person who's speaking the biggest. Yeah.

Yeah. So it's like an old-timey radio drama, but with the visually distressing qualities of a Zoom call. Would it be too much strain on animators to animate these scripts and the audio? Because you'd have to turn them around pretty quick. You would. And also, I think a lot of animators are going to really struggle to work from home because there's a lot of technical stuff that goes into animation that you might not have set up in your home. I might be wrong about that. I mean, I would guess.

This is the problem, though, with, like, ongoing properties, like, soaps and comic books, feeling the need to respond to global events. Like, I think the best way is just to ignore it, and just pretend there's a level of stasis, a level of status quo, that you'll go back to. Yeah. Because I, like, remember, Marvel Comics after 9-11, did a really tone-deaf issue where the Marvel Comics hero's dealt with 9-11. Oh, no, I don't like that.

Like, Spider-Man was picking people out the wreckage and fucking Dr. Doom came and there's a panel of Dr. Doom shedding a tear at the loss of life. Dr. Doom, the genocidal dictator. Oh, no, this is... It didn't work at all and it made no sense. Comics are the soap operas of, you know, that medium. Yeah, they are. The other thing is... Just ignore it.

Maybe it goes on pause for a few months and then EastEnders just picks up where it left off. Yeah, I mean, that'll work. Or it doesn't pick up where it left off. It's like everyone in EastEnders has carried on living their lives and this hasn't been shown. Yeah. And you know how quickly soaps move. Yeah.

There've been loads and loads of twists, but they just weren't broadcast. And so, like, nothing makes any sense at all. Yeah, Ian Beal's dead. I thought Ian Bill had died and come back already. Oh, maybe. Is that true? That's a prime minister now. Designated survivor, Ian Beal.

Ian Beal's been taking to intensive care and Phil Mitchell is running the country in his stead. I cannot stress enough that at the point of recording, Boris Johnson is alive. If anything changes, we didn't realise how inappropriate this content was. If Ian Beale is in charge of the country now. At the point of recording, Ian Beale was alive. We didn't know.

Yeah, I think that's what they should do. They should take it off air. but like all the script development they've done use it like chuck it in the bin but carry on writing from the end of the bit you chucked in the bin yeah i would watch that or just like do a two-minute recap but make sure that the recap is like everything from the start 70 years of the soap previously on conation street because the alternative is you try and make it realistic and you try to incorporate this but the soaps are already running behind So it will be like, you know, when we were saying the UK response wasn't good enough

and people were saying, well, we're two weeks behind Italy if you look at our curve. Does that mean that like the soaps are three weeks behind the UK if you look at their curve? So they're still going about, but they're about to go into lockdown. And then like four weeks from now, the soaps are going to have their peak. Yeah, I'd seem that one of the soaps, I think it was Carnation Street, had gone back in pickups and added some bits about characters telling one another to wash their hands. So they'd gone back and recorded some scenes of the characters saying, you need to wash your hands and then inserted it into previously recorded episodes.

This isn't true, is it? Yeah. What? What? So there's no acknowledgement there's a pandemic. There's just characters still did be saying, wash your hands. Don't forget to wash your hands, you've just come in. Yeah, around the time we were being told just to wash our hands, not to go into lockdown.

Oh, so they really are three weeks behind us on Coronation Street. So who knows where it is now. Now I think it is Skyping in. Wow. Barbara Windsor, Skyping. Round of applause for Barbara Windsor, I could get on board with that. Yeah. I might do it.

I'm not going to announce it. I'm not going to bully anyone into it or shame anyone. I'm just going to open the window at some point and start cappic and cheering for Barbara Windsor. Babs. Woo! That's what we should be doing. If we are moved to do a round of applause, we should just do them. Whatever.

Rather than trying to coordinate it, yeah. Just like if you're moved to give someone a round of applause or something around of applause, just do it. And I think that should apply to it. stage shows when we get back out of lockdown. Like, when you're enjoying the show, just stand up. Oh, there's a whole load... In the middle of Hamilton.

The etiquette of people clapping during musicals is awkward. People don't like it because it interrupts the flow. There's a whole thing around this. The etiquette of people interacting with theatre is... Oh, that's a whole podcast that I could start completely separately, but I won't. Corey have started showing less episodes per week. They filmed enough to take us to August, the email said. What email?

Dear Carnation Street Watcher We're very concerned How did they know who to email I saw something the other day saying Oh we got the letter in the post from Boris You know the one we all got And I was like I didn't get a letter in the post from Boris I didn't think we all got a letter

And now I'm finding out that everyone's getting an email from Corey And I'm not getting that either And I'm starting to wonder if I still exist If you get a letter from Boris Wash your hands and disinfect that letter Well yeah And if you get an email from Corey Delete it because it's nonsense

delete it off your computer and wipe your hard drive run a magnet over it I'm going to start a WhatsApp scam that's just like if you get an email from Coronation Street you have been hacked I'm going to WhatsApp it to you to screenshot it and then I'll screenshot it yeah we need to forward it back and forth a few times and then we'll start posting it on groups that have got a lot of gullible people hackers have found a new thing they tell you that Corey is going to be shown less often. No mention of corona. The timing doesn't always work. For example, the April Falls jokes were in an episode after April 1st. Oh no, it's falling out of sync. Oh, no.

It's chaos. They're carefully planned storylines. Oh yeah, someone said here, Scary Jeff mentioned 20 second hand washing to Yasmeen the other day. Here you go. So, I don't know who those characters are, but... I hope the character is called Scary Jet in the credits. Imagine your age and phoning you. Like, We've got a part and I think you're a shooing. It's scary, Jeff. Oh, thanks.

This is nonsense. I heard that Corrie was filming without the older members of the cast before we went into lockdown as they were told to self-isolate, so we'll probably start to see episodes without them in a few weeks. Oh, with younger members, younger cast members subbing in for them. Like, understood it is. Except with 20 years difference. I'm surprised these tenders haven't mentioned it. In the past, they've added extra scenes to mention Barrack.

Obama being voted in, Michael Jackson's death, Princess Charlotte's birth, and election results, as well as having an episode where the Square were watching Harry and Megan's wedding. Wow, all the key events from history of the past few years. Barack Obama being voted in Michael Jackson's death and Princess Charlotte's birth, but not any of the ones. No. No. Is Charlotte even the oldest one? She isn't, is she?

No, is that George? Yeah. They got complaints when George was born. and they didn't do anything to mark the occasion. Yeah, dear points of view. I was disgusting to see. It's good to see that people have settled back into the true spirit of am I being unreasonable by just talking absolute nonsense.

Am I being unreasonable, neighbours extension during lockdown. They need extra room to sit, leave them to it. Sure, yeah. And being unreasonable to think my girlfriend is a idiot. Rude. Also, it's an idiot. The phrase would be an idiot, so... So who is the real...

A real idiot here. It's not nice to be ablest about your girlfriend, is it? Just grow up. Am I being unreasonable? Any Germans or expats in Germany? Opinions, please? I think there are Germans and expats in Germany. I believe there are Germans and expats in Germany, it's true.

And am I being unreasonable to wonder whether Moms and their HQ are scared of upsetting Jack Monroe. I think we're all scared of upsetting Jack Monroe. They're so powerful now. Yeah, they've got that daily show. They've got that daily show. They've been preparing to cook from the bear. essentials for years. Because of necessity, because of austerity, not because of a deep-seated desire to do so. Just saying. But they've got all the power now. We should all be scared

upset in Jack Munner. Well, bleak. I'm being unreasonable. How much milk? Two pints. Perfect. Thanks for listening. Yeah, thank you. We're going to do a live show. We attempted to do one on the Sunday just passed. Yeah. But there were technical issues with YouTube. So rather and then bother people with that. We just cancelled it and are going to reschedule for Easter Monday. Yeah, we're going to try and give a day time one on Easter Monday. We'll find a point in the middle of the day that works for people. Yes, we're going to put details on Twitter when we know more,

but it will either be on YouTube if I can get it working or Twitch. And even if we go with YouTube, there'll be a Twitch fallback, and I'll mention that. Yeah. Thanks very much for listening. I hope you're all doing okay, and I hope you've got all the essentials in, like cucumbers and lipsticks and the other things that mum's that hate. Penus hands. Exactly.

I hope you've got penis hands. Thanks for listening. Thank you. Bye.