You Are Being Unreasonable - 079 - In which Jamie Oliver has a big face and a wide tongue

Episode Date: July 23, 2020

"Are priests allowed to vote?" Some real Cronenbergian body horror in this episode as we discover a freethinker who avoids the 'rona by slithering along like a snake, a bathroom carpeted with hair, and Jamie Oliver's wide wide tongue. Very normal podcast. We get to these topics by discussing the difference between sliced bread and toast, a neighbour, a greedy apple-fiend, stealing apples, being a radical freethinker not like the rest of the sheeple, sweeteners in lemonade and which fictional British characters are shy Tories, and going to bed at Pimms o'clock.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when their prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day when I felt the way. Hello. Hello, welcome to You Are Being Unreasonable, a podcast,

about people being unreasonable on mumsnet.com with me, Hells. And me, Simon. We're recording on July 19th. So after this, we'll be joining the celebrations for Benedict Cumberbatch's birthday. The British actor best known for playing unpleasant men like Dominic Cummings or Julian Assange. Yeah, all the baddies. He's also in some other things. Sure. But I think he's best known for his portrayal of Julian Assange.

I think that might just be us. That scene where there's many Julian Assange's. and they're all played by Benedict Cumberbett. That scene where Julian Assange is concerned about privacy, so he goes into a little glass room. A little glass room. Yeah. Yeah, I might watch that later.

His wandering Australian accent. I think that is actually how Julian Assange speaks, though. Julian Assange isn't very convincing as a person. Like the real Julian Assange. No, no. Who knew that in 2020 anyone would still be talking about Julian Assange? Well, he's still out there. I wonder if he got the ruiner.

Probably. isn't he in prison? Did they let him out so he wouldn't get their owner? No, I think he's still there. I think he has to be let out, but they said, no. You're a flight risk. You lived in an embassy. Yeah, you're going to head with the nearest embassy

and hang out there, head for the Polish embassy. We're not doing this all over again, believe me. Yeah. Oh, that was a lot of Julian Assange's chat. Shall we do a speed round? Yeah. Am I being unreasonable to be utterly sick of having a hairy bathroom? A hairy bathroom.

Hair coming out the walls. Oh. When you have a shower, it's all damp. Her hair on the walls is all damp. You turn the shower on instead of water, hair comes out. Flowing mane of hair from your showerhead. Do you have carpet or tile in your bathroom? Hair.

A thick layer of downy hair. Am I being unreasonable? Would you press for a holiday? Yeah. I would bench press a hundred times for a holiday. I would bench press a claim. Yeah. And am I being unreasonable?

Post-lockdown haircut. Disaster. Oh no. Oh, they cut all the hair off, and now your bathroom's empty. Oh, no. That is a disaster. Let's do some threads. Am I being unreasonable? I know I'm not being unfair, but should I tell her to piss off? I have an apple tree in my garden, which has a reasonable crop. Neighbour one asks for and does get apples. Last year, stripped it when I was on holiday.

This year, I have expressly told her not to come in my garden as we have been shielding. She has asked twice, and I have given her. her apples, though not as many as she would have liked. She lives alone so she wants them to make pies for other people. I've also given neighbour two apples as well this year, which I don't think neighbour one was happy about. Yesterday a friend of my daughter stopped to speak and asked her if she wanted some apples for her mum. She said, yes please, so I picked a bag for her to take. However, my son-in-law was standing outside my gate while this was happening and afterwards told me that neighbour one had been standing at her door listening and wasn't

looking very happy. Neighbor 1 and I have a fragile relationship and there have been a number of issues between us, but on the whole it's been okay for the last few years. I'm pretty sure she will say something to me about the apples. My DH thinks I should apologise to her to keep the peace.

However, I think if she acts entitled, I should tell her to piss off. Who is right? Neighbor 1, this is Eagle 2 coming into Please confirm Neighbor 1. I don't understand why this is such a big deal. So problems with the apples, not just problems with the apples, many issues over various years.

But recently, things have been okay. That's because you've both been shielding and haven't talked to one another. No, the neighbour's not shielding. The neighbour's been trying to come in for apples. Tapping on the window. Apples. Apples. Pointing to the basket.

Surely if you know that your neighbour who has all the apples is shielding, that's the best time to go scrumping? Is that what we call it? I think it is. I think scrumping is a thing. But maybe not when it's someone's apple tree, like someone's a private apple tree. Yeah, but what are they going to do? They can't come out and do you for it because they're shielding. You're just there juggling their apples, laughing at them.

Are you suggesting that Neighbour one just steals the apples? That's what Neighbour one did last year. Neighbor one stripped the tree when they were on holiday last year. Yeah, but this year they've been told not to strip the tree. I can't believe they ever had to be told not to strip the tree. Hey, stop taking our apples. Not this year. There are apples now. We need them to survive the plague. This is another of those classic Mumsnet threads where it really feels like a comprehension test.

Particularly the bit that I enjoy is we've also given neighbour two apples, which I thought at first meant that they had given two apples to the only neighbour they were talking about. That is pretty stingy, but no, it's neighbour two. Yeah, this is why he needed the whole neighbour one nomenclature, because the neighbour two would be introduced at some point. The second neighbour, the worst neighbour. No, neighbour two has got apples, which neighbour one wasn't happy about. you need to re-rank these neighbours because neighbour one sounds not number one.

Yeah. Neighbor one sounds like a neighbour two and neighbour two sounds like a neighbour one. Yeah. So for clarity, I'll move to neighbour one as neighbour two from that one. Maybe we should give them names. Apple Joe. Yeah. And Apple Joe.

Is neighbour one Apple Joe? Yeah. And neighbour one is from the post or your neighbour one? My neighbour one. My neighbour one. Let's just stick with neighbour one and neighbour two. Okay. So yeah, neighbour two got apples.

and Neighbour One was fuming. Fuming. If you're shielding, just fucking chuck the apples at Neighbour One. And then, why does it matter that a friend of the daughter came by? To speak. To give a speech. To give a lecture on Apple production. Yeah, that is a weird face of phrase.

It stops to speak. Like, I asked if she wanted some apples for her mum. To stand two metres away and speak on the subject of apples. It's weird, isn't it? They have a fragile relationship and there have been a number of issues. I'd say stripping my apple tree while on my holiday is an issue. Is each issue an apple? There have been a number of apples.

There's been a number of apple-related issues. First, she tried to chop down the apple tree and put it in her garden, and I told her that's not how apple trees work. Then she tried to steal my apples under cover of night, but I was out there with a bat to protect my precious apples. I'm just really... Why was the son-in-law standing outside the gate while this was happening? It's keeping an eye out.

So the friend of the daughter stops to speak. The friend of the daughter has nothing to do with the son-in-law. The son-in-law is standing there. I need a diagram of where all of these people are. The neighbour is like hanging out at their door. Like, oh, what's going on? Is someone getting my apples? I want to get in my apples.

Not legally, but philosophically, morally. For everyone to be able to hear what's going on? Is anyone really socially distancing here? Are they all just standing in a big cluster around an apple tree? Well, the daughter's friend is a professional speaker, so presumably knows how to enunciate, how to project about the apples. This is nonsense. I mean, the solution for Neighbour One, if she wasn't such a greedy apple fiend, is to save at least one apple, plant it, and then you yourself can have many apples in the future. That is the long game.

That is the longest game. Yeah, but, you know, that's altruism, planting seeds that you will never see grow. Do you know how I acquire apples? I get a veg box delivered, and in the veg box, without fail, there are more apples than I could possibly eat. That's not a veg. I'd send that pack. It's more of a fruit box. Fine, it's a fruit and veg box.

Terrible. They know it's for two people. It says it's for two people, so why do they always send me? I don't know, perhaps 40 apples each week. Because they think your neighbour one, a greedy apple fiend whose appetite cannot be sated. But neighbour one is making pies for other people, so neighbour one is doing a good thing. Sure. Sure she is.

Neighbor one lives alone and makes pies for other people. Neighbor two has something to do with something. My daughter's friend has a mum who needs an apple. My son-in-law lurks by the gate to report on apples. Maybe the O.P. is the baddie here, greedily hoarding apples. The little red hen over here. The O.P. is not the baddie. The O.P. says themselves, I know I'm not being unfair.

Great. Thanks for coming here to ask if you were being unreasonable and saying, no, I'm not. Put it in the title. eminently reasonable. It's come to my attention that everyone in the thread is calling me the little red hen, and I'm not the little red hen. The little red hen was just exhibiting good business sense. Those are my apples, and this is my bread. I'm going to eat an apple sandwich now. Let's hear from the thread. I don't, hang on, one more thing. Why does the husband say that the OP should apologise? That's where it gets weird. I know that people are doing a lot

of apologising at the moment. There is like a real culture of apology going on as people reflect on their lives and where they are in the pandemic. But I don't think you need to apologise for giving an apple to a friend. No, that seems fine. Yeah, I think that's all right. Like, I saw some friends the other day. You can't apologise for all the things that you didn't do. Like, I didn't give an apple to a friend.

I didn't give an apple to a friend. I had a picnic yesterday, and I took a punnet of cherry tomatoes with me, among other things, but I didn't bring you any cherry tomatoes home. I don't feel like I owe you an apology. This public phone would be the place. Well, I'll start a thread to say that I'm not feeling really. and I don't owe you an apology. I have no idea why the husband thinks that this person should apologise.

It's all very odd, isn't it? Why should you apologise? How odd of your DH? If she says something, I would remind her the tree is actually yours, and if she wants to bake, she can buy apples from the shop, and then not give her any more. And hope she never spoke to me again. People are fucking weirdos.

I don't sound like a way to mend the fragile relationship. Buy your own apples and never talk to me again. Sounds like a way to burn ridges. Go to the garden centre, buy her a sapling, and tell her to grow her own, the cheeky cow. That's not the own you think it is. That's not a clear message of get fucked. That's a kind gift. That's quite cool.

If someone bought me a little apple tree sapling, I'd be delighted. Someone said, I don't think she'd have the brass neck to say anything to your face. And the Ops come back and said, oh, I think she will. She is very entitled. Things have been pretty bad in the past. Goodness. My car was damaged by her now dead husband, though we couldn't prove it. solicitors have been involved, which she had to pay.

That's escalated. My car was damaged by her husband standing in the way of it. Now he's dead. She ate my apples, so I killed her husband. So I ran over her husband, which damaged my car. Someone said just give her poison ones. I didn't know it was some sort of fairy tale. Don't give poison apples.

You've already killed the husband. I don't kill both the people in this relationship. You can't kill all the neighbours. being unreasonable to still be pissed off by Jamie Oliver. Every time I go round a friend's house, they bring out the Pims, and I can't have it, because virtually all lemonade now has swingers in it. People say they taste like crap, and it gives me such a bad headache. What?

Every time I go round the Friends House, they bring out the Pim's, and I can't have because virtually all lemonade has sweeteners in it. People say they taste like crap, and it gives me a headache. Jamie, Amy Oliver. But what's this got to do with Jamie Oliver? I'm first in line to hate on Jamie Oliver, but this PIMs issue is something different. Jamie Oliver took away your turkey twizzlers, famously. Not my turkey, I don't, anyway, yeah.

But he's never taken away my pins. Is Jamie Oliver the friend? Did you go around Jamie's house and he cracked out some bad pins? If you're friends with Jamie Oliver, you should take it up with him personally. This is no way to... And maybe mention that in the text, because it's unclear. My friend Jamie Oliver makes bad pins. Is Jamie Oliver like the face of pins?

No, I think... Do you see the face of lemonade? You'll see many adverts for lemonade. I mean... up and spray it and seven it. He has got that big old face. He could be the face of absolutely everything. He's got plenty of face to go around, that big smushy face. Um, no, I think it's because he was the person who led the campaign for the sugar tax, which is why so many soft drinks are now laid on with sweeteners rather than sugars. Okay. However, you can still buy the

sugar versions. They just cost more. Yeah. So take it up with your friends. Or if that, don't take up with your friends. That's extraordinarily rude. Just take your own full sugar lemonade and say, I brought this, sweetness gives me a bit of a headache. Would it be okay if you made some? With the sugar version. Don't turn up to your friend's house. Be like, fucking Jamie Oliver's ruined your Pims. I can't believe this.

Oh my God. I've got a headache because your friends will just stop inviting you to PIMS o'clock. Pim's taste like shit and it's your fault and Jamie Oliver's fault. Beyond me. So it's to do with the sugar tax that Jamie Oliver campaigned for but did not enact. No, he is not as powerful as he would like to have you believe. No. Your problem here, as with so many things, is with the Tories.

It is. I assume Jamie Oliver is a Tory. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There was a thread going around on Twitter today of which fictional characters do you most imagine voted for Trump. And it was mostly Americans responding with like, Frasier Crane and any character from a Hallmark movie. Yeah.

But, yeah, which people do you think voted tory? Jamie Oliver's way up there. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Which fictional characters? I think Fleabag. Yeah, I think Fleabag. I think Fleabag voted for the Tories.

I think Fleabag voted for the Tories because Fleabag's local MP is actually just a really great constituency MP who represents my interests in Parliament. And I know that there's a bigger picture, but for me, as a small business owner, I think she is the best person for the job. Yeah. That's definitely what Fleabag did. Agreed. And then she fucked a priest and thought she was in love. But you're not in love, are you? You're just in love with the idea of love.

Get a great Fleabag. Maybe the priest. I don't think the priest voted to live down. I nearly said a priest's allowed to vote. Why wouldn't there be? Not prisoners. Not convicted felon. Would that priest be allowed to vote, though?

I don't see why not? Irish. Oh. Is Andrew Scott allowed to vote? Did Andrew Scott vote for the Tories? If Andrew Scott voted for the Tories, then the whole world has collapsed. Andrew Scott didn't vote for the Tories. Andrew Scott would never.

Sherlock would vote for the Tories. Benedict's Sherlock. Oh yeah. Yeah, 100%. Because he'd think he's playing four-dimensional chess. Watson wouldn't No, Watson wouldn't And there'd be a comical scene of them arguing

Bickering like an old married couple Oh, good times Classic British TV Classic Sunday night television Yeah, maybe I'm being unfair on Fleabag We all know someone who voted for the Tories Because of their local constituents MP Being very good

Yeah, and Jamie Oliver's one of them I'm sure That's how you got that sugar tax That's how he took away our sugar You know you can just buy sugar and put it in Pims. Yeah, but it's the sweetness that's the problem. It's not the lack of sugar.

Yeah, it'd be double sweet. It'd be so sweet. Having met him, it did not improve my opinion of him. What a shit, stealth boast. What a weird humble book. I've actually met Jamie Oliver, and I still think he's a prick. Yeah, me too, sister. You didn't have to meet him, and you came to the same conclusion as me, having met him.

Hmm. Great. No one cares. No, no one cares. He lobbied for the sugar tax. No, I absolutely hate the fact that most soft drinks have got sweetness in. They taste awful. I rarely drink.

rank them, nice treat with loads of ice, or, as you say, in pins, I'd rather pay more and have sugar than pay the same and have sweetener, but sadly, that's not the option. It is the option. You can still buy the full sugar versions of drinks. And unless you're drinking them in truly enormous quantities, it's not going to make that much difference, is it? It's not going to break the bank. I mean, that's a very privileged thing to say. Perhaps that's unfair of me. Just pay your tax. Pay the sugar tax if you want the sugar. Sugar tax. He has a really wide tongue as well, someone has said. Then someone else said, no need to get personal.

If you've snogged Jamie Oliver. Oh, all right, if he couldn't get his big, wide tongue into your mouth. Couldn't get it all the way in. Couldn't get it all the way. Jamie, this snogging's great, but you can't get your tongue all the way. All the way. What are weird ways to describe kissing? Folding on the outside, Jamie.

Folding. Got some notes. Oh, no. Jamie Oliver's wide, rough cat tongue. Everyone on this thread is just saying that the sugar-free stuff is bad. And then some people are just bringing up completely irrelevant points about diabetes. And then a few people are saying they don't like PIMS. PIMS a clock, though, isn't it?

Well, is it PIMS a clock? What a successful marketing slogan? PIMS a clock? Yeah, I can't think of PIMS. We're out thinking that it might be PIMS a clock, and I have to check. Have you got a special watch? I've got a watch that has a PIMS logo on one of the numbers. Which number?

11. So it's never PIMS o'clock from me because 11 a.m is too early. 11 p.m. I'm going to bed. Little nightcap of Pims. Hells it's Pims a clock. I'm trying to sleep. Turn the light off.

Hells it's Pim's o'clock. Oh, shall you do another thread? How are being unreasonable? It's friggin' bread. I have a friend that refers to slice bread as toast. It's starting to really get on. my nerves. Born and bread in England with absolutely no issues with the English language but cannot distinguish between slice bread and the end result of it being toasted being two

different bloody things. I had two toasts for breakfast. I have cheese toasts instead of cheese sandwiches. Ah, for fuck's sake. No amount of addressing it has made a difference in 15 poxy years. 15 years has been going on. 15 years they've been calling bread toast. 15 years. That's a generation. It's a long time. That's a whole generation. Mm. I mean, this person's objectively wrong, but it does sound like they're just winding up the OPE.

Oh, 100%. Yeah. I had, so let's translate the sentences that he's provided. I had two toasts for breakfast. I had two bread for breakfast. I had two slices of bread for breakfast. Yeah. That's not a breakfast.

Two pieces of toast would be... Two pieces of toast is fine, but if she's saying that he uses toast wrongly, then I had two slices. of bread is nothing. And I have cheese toasts instead of cheese sandwiches. No, because you don't say I have cheese slices of bread. You say I have a cheese sandwich. Also, if you say it in this general open tense like that, that's a weird thing to say anyway. Like, if you met up with your friend, they're like, I have cheese sandwiches. All right. Great. Great chat. I know that we haven't

been out for 18 weeks, but really. I know I don't like coming on picnics with you. You continually refer to spices of bread as toast. Maybe there's a way this trend is right. Go on. What is toast? If you put bread in the toaster, then it turns into toast. If you put bread in the toaster for five seconds, is that then toast? No.

Why? Because it wouldn't be toasted, would it? It would be toasted. It went in the toaster. No, just because it's been in the toaster, doesn't mean it's been through the toasting process. It has been through the toasting process. It hasn't. The toasting process takes time.

How much time? More than five. seconds? 10 seconds? Right. If you can say five second rule about something that's been on the floor and it's in an unchanged state, then five second rule for bread that's been in the toaster, it's still bread. I'm just saying maybe this guy does have toasted cheese sandwiches, but to all outward appearances, because he likes his toast so lightly toasted, it looks like slices of bread. Okay. It is indistinguishable from an untoasted slice of bread. Yeah, I mean, maybe. Why not? He just, he cranks that toaster right down to the smallest setting.

Crank it right down to zero. Crank it right down. Past one to, not quite zero. I suppose if you had it on zero and you push the thing in, nothing would happen. Yeah, it wouldn't stay down. It wouldn't do anything. Would it? We should test this.

I don't know. There's a limmie sketch, right? I was about to say there's a really long liby sketch and we're getting into that territory. Means, because it's not minute and it's not toastiness, because that's not a scale. And if you put it in at three, then you turn it up to six. once it's in, then what happens? Yeah.

And vice versa. Anyway, at this point, turn the podcast off, go and watch Limmy's show. For the rest of the podcast, you'll need to have watched Limmy's homemade show to understand the bits, the goofs, so go do that.

Fifteen years! Why are these people still friends? Like, I saw some of my oldest friends yesterday and we've known each other for more than 15 years in all cases. But if we had spent all of those 15 years arguing about what to call bread, I don't imagine I would have gone

to the picnic. I might have stayed at home instead. So I don't know why this person is still pursuing this friendship. I don't know why the friend hasn't just binned them off. Like, oh, every time I see Sally, she gets off on one about sliced bread. Well, it's not toast. I know that the O.P. has addressed that this person was born and bred in England. Weigh.

But in Central East and Europe, sliced bread is called toast in a lot of places. Tossed. Whoa. buy sliced loaf and it's tossed. You're right. Yeah. Maybe they come from a background. And in fact, I think it's not even Central East and Europe.

I think there's other places in Europe as well where like a sandwich made on sliced bread is called tossed. Is it Italy? I think so. Yeah, I think in Italy you can get coffee and tossed. Yeah. Maybe it's not Italy, but yeah. So perhaps this person thinks they're being really cosmopolitan by saying I have cheese toasts. I'm actually a world traveler and I have toasts.

born and bred in England to Polish parents. Yeah. Or travel to Poland a lot. Yeah. Like, or just trolling. Or just trolling. You know, I... What do they refer to in the saying,

The best thing since sliced bread? The best thing since toast. Yeah. Toast is pretty good. It's better than sliced bread. Oh, I don't know. No, because you need sliced bread to make toast. Exactly.

Slice bread is more versatile. Yeah. You can't untost a piece of toast. You can't. If only you could. Forever changed. Someone has come along and said raw toast And then someone else has said

Just won't DS up laughing so hard at this This would annoy me too It's bread Until it's toasted Until it's toasted Your friend sounds quirky Or eccentric Bread is bread

Toast is toast End of Her inaccuracies would rip my knitting too Yeah that really rips my knitting People are so uptight aren't they Really rips my knitting All these people saying bread is bread And toast is toast though

need to give an adequate definition of toast. And they don't mean, they'll be able to. Yeah. They'll just say toasted bread, and I'll say, How toasted, how toasted. What will you say? How toasted? Why don't I do your toasted till?

I can think of two analogies of the bread slash toast woes. Someone at my old workplace used to call the toilet the bathroom, just going to the bathroom, be right back. There were no baths at that workplace, and there aren't any shower rooms either. That's different, though. That's accepted, you know. The same guy, as above, used to refer to his wife as his girlfriend. like as if they haven't married yet

but they are definitely married what these things have nothing to do with anything no no they're acceptable you know slang say you're going to the bathroom is just like a nice genteel way of saying that you're going to the loo yeah I'm not going to shout out in a crowded office I'm going for a shit well I don't know why in an office

you'd shout out I'm going to the bathroom what just so everyone knew is oh okay so they're kept apprised yeah do you ever call me your girlfriend rather than your wife I call you my ex-girlfriend, because that's accurate. My former girlfriend. Yeah.

I call you my toast. Am I being unreasonable to think we're all socially conditioned? Sometimes I feel as though the whole world has been hypnotised to comply with social norms and programmed to perform in a way that complies with their strict social conditioning. And somehow, when this happened, I didn't get put under. And I'm watching people bending over backwards to show how they are conforming and doing everything right, as if they are terrified of any job. judgment while looking for mistakes others make and highlighting them to the world so they can be

shamed. I completely expect it to be told it's just me and I must be some kind of rebel because it's weird to question it. That's cool. This person's a free thinker. This person's just out there doing what they want and confused by everyone else. This person's out there just shitting in the park. This person's out there, you know, not wearing clothes. Why would you? Just describing cheese sandwiches as cheese toast. Yeah. This person is Julian Assange. The person's just picking apples, wherever they please. Because what, socially conditioned into money and systems of currency and the law. I wasn't put under when everyone else did this.

Yeah, I don't understand why everyone's, you know, conforming with all this. I completely expect to be told I'm some kind of a rebel. Like, my friend, my friend. What are you doing that's, are you murdering people? Because no, you shouldn't be doing that. This sounds like every man I ever had to speak to. in Introduction to Philosophy. This is every 18-year-old who's starting his philosophy degree,

who's surprised to see a woman on the course. Yeah. Who is attempting to get laid while also attempting to show how incredibly intelligent they are and doing neither of these things. Yeah, we'll spend hours demonstrating that you don't actually know what toast means. Prick. Oh, there's nothing sexier than someone explaining toast, is there? Oh, my.

Like, what is this? Yeah, what are you actually doing that's... Are you living, you know, in a tent at the edges of society, on the fringes of society? If you are living in a tent on the fringes of society, delete your Momsnet account. What are you doing? Well, this is it, yeah. I'm sorry, but you've signed up for some kind of internet service. And then you've signed up for Momsnet.

And then you signed up for a fairly popular, you know, social networking site. You're using the English language. Yeah, you should use your own language. Make up your own language. Yeah. Build your own internet. Create your own forums. Use your own language. Be a free thinker. Yeah, you're so chained by the man, by the social conditioning. I'm embarrassed for you, to be honest. Really not that out there.

Not that out there at all. It's a little more out there to do a podcast about a social network than to post on that social network. We're actually being highly ironic. Yeah, we're rebels, actually. I'm expecting everyone to tell us that we're rebels. Should we hear from the thread? Well, I see a lot of people asking, do you have any examples of what you're talking about? People are asking for examples, but also people are agreeing.

COVID has shown this up 100%. It's clear that most will do what they're told, no questions ask. They report others who they see as bending the rules. They enjoy doing it, I suspect. It leads to fear and the separation of society, not as good as nations in the past have discovered. What are you on about? Putting a mask on to go to Sainsbury's. It's not because I was put under and hypnotised.

Look, I mean, fundamentally, yeah, we are socially conditioned. That's just a fact. The social contract isn't necessarily a bad thing. We're, you know, living in a sort of Judeo-Christian society. Yeah. Under certain norms, certain fairly liberal democratic norms. Yeah. Yeah, you are.

You're using language. You're walking on your hind feet. We don't know that. Don't assume. It's very rude of you to assume. But yeah, that's not the same as wearing masks. This person's slithering on their belly, slithering on their belly down the high street, shouting at people that they need to stop conforming.

Yeah, you can... Good way to social distance. Yeah? Yeah, because you're two meters away from people's mouth bits, where the virus is coming out. People's mouth bits? People's mouth bits. Okay, that's a creepy phrase, and I don't like it. You're two meters away from people's mouth bits, and Jamie Oliver's wide, wide time.

I was going to say, there's like a real body horror about this episode. Jamie's big tongue, people's mouth bits. Please put a content note on this. Slibering along like a snake to avoid the ruin. Yeah, there are people saying, have you got an example? What is this that you're referring to? It does sound like someone complaining about masks. Like it sounds like the first step in complaining about having to wear masks to the shop.

Yeah, it absolutely does. Feel free to question it. But then if your answer is not, I am protecting the health of people around me, your reasoning might be wrong. Lots of people are saying, yeah, we all know we're socially conditioned. Yeah, this is just a fact. That's why we went to school for 18 years. That was it.

I thought we went to school for Miss McKenzie, the teacher from the Busted song. No. No one remembers that. I do. I'm a Busted fan now. They're Muck Busted now. That's a different band. How is it a different band?

It's got the same members and more members. This is a sliced bread toast situation. Yeah. Busted is sliced bread. bread, muckbusted is toast. We've done the pile of sand analogy with the toast. Yeah. And now we're onto the ship of Fesias.

Yeah. With muck busted. Exactly. So, O.P., over two hours since your post, and you haven't been back to debate or defend your radical ideas. Not much of a rebel, are you? And then someone said, to see things differently and write a fairly benign post about it, it's not what I would call radical.

In fact, your post proves he's all purpoint perfectly. How? I think this person's calling them radical in a bit of a piss take, aren't they? Yeah. What are there radical ideas? That everyone was hypnotised. It's demon headmaster shit. It is, yeah.

It's like, it's so childish. It's an embarrassing story. Go on. When I was a kid, I believed, and I was very young, I believed the song, Spaceman by Babylon Zoo, was hypnotising people because it seemed to be everywhere, and I thought it was shit.

I thought the only explanation can be demonhead master style hypnotizing on the part of Babylon Zoo. You thought it was hypnotising people Because it was so shit You couldn't work out why else it was popular I couldn't work out why it was popular I mean

Space man There was a little boy who I went to primary school with And in show and tell For no reason He's show and tell was he just sang that song To everybody in its entirety See? It was so omnipresent for

It must have been like two weeks But it felt like ages He had a really square head I wouldn't be surprised if he was some sort of robot Square head, wide tongue I didn't say anything about a wide tongue. From my mind. Why?

It's, oh, oh no. Someone said a few lies, we're told. We must have exciting lives, preferably more than one property, 2.5 kids, new vehicles, expensive clothes and goods, etc. That's capital. You're describing capitalism. Yeah, you're describing capitalism. Yeah. We can think differently.

We can live differently. If we want to talk about getting rid of property ownership and, you know, redistributing wealth, we can do. But let's talk about that rather than just saying we're rather than just saying we're And those are things which are norms which we are encouraged to aspire to, but there are so many people out there ourselves included who aren't aspiring to these norms that I don't think that's a radical position. I think that's fairly common that there are a subset of people who want multiple properties and nice new vehicles, etc. And then there's another group of people who don't. And no one thinks they're radical. If you think those people are radical, then like get a grip.

And if you think that you're radical for thinking that, you need to surround yourself with better. more like-minded people. So if anything, I just feel like maybe the OP is crushingly lonely and they're telling themselves it's because everyone else has been hypnotised, but actually it's because they're obnoxious and their friends are basic and that combination of things, be less obnoxious, find friends are a little bit less basic. You don't need to go on mum's net to tell everyone how great you are. Yeah, talk to your neighbour, steal their apples. Exactly. Just reach out. Someone said, this is literally the social contracts. Did you sleep all the way through school? Yeah, they did. That's why they didn't get conditions.

I thought they weren't put under. And now people are just breaking down the bits of the social contract. Someone's explaining that this is why we don't murder. Great, good to get to the basics. Someone has read the OPs post and they're terrified the OPs, going to go on some sort of purge-style rampage. I better explain it to you. Let's break it down.

There've always been individuals or groups of people who've pushed the boundaries of acceptable behaviour. That's why we have laws. That's why we need police and the armed forces. So there we go. Kirstarmer's here and it's time to move on. Anything else to say on that? Defund the police. Black Lives Matter.

Let's do one more speed round. Am I being unreasonable? A lot, not a lot. Another language one. A lot of language ones here. Many languages. Maybe it should just be toast instead of a lot. I want toast, beans.

And I mean a lot of beans, not beans on toast. Am I being unreasonable? Reasonable request? I really don't know. Meta? We don't know. Yeah, let us know. Am I being unreasonable to hate

Washy covers of songs? Washy? Yeah. Wishy-washy covers. I don't know. Sure. And Am I being unreasonable? If this was you on Wednesday,

then I'm really sorry. If it was you, I hit with my car. If it was you whose husband I hit with my car when she was trying to steal apples, I'm really sorry. That OP would not be sorry. Not at all. Not at all.

Not at all. Thanks for listening. Thank you for listening. Follow us on Twitter. at Way of Being Reasonable, you can listen to our podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, Player FM, Stitcher, anywhere there's podcasts. Simon, these people have found the podcast. But still, tell your friends. Okay.

Make it your mission to tell a friend this week to get away from your apples and go listen to the Eurobeing Unreasonable Podcast. Thanks for listening. Bye! Right now!