You Are Being Unreasonable - 080 - In which we tax the robots and uncover a counterfeit children's books market

Episode Date: August 6, 2020

"I need to know if Gigolo Joe ejaculates." The Mumsnetters have some funny ideas this week about an underground counterfeit children's books market and taxing robots rather than, say, human billionaires. We'll give all these ideas the attention they deserve as well as discussing social distancing from the Edinburgh Tattoo, whether Spielberg's sex-worker robots ejaculate, how Kafka tried and failed to cancel himself, using eugenics and IQ for dating, and we discover that rarest of things, a Mumsnet thread with no replies from anyone.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when their prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about how I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now.

Hello. Hello, welcome to you are being. Unreasonable, the podcast about people being unreasonable on mumsnet.com with me, Hells. And me, Simon. Well, some new local lockdown restrictions. Yeah, yeah. I mean, in addition to the ones announced the other day, Matt Hancock has personally asked me to deliver these new restrictions, uh, through the medium of our podcast. That sounds about par for the course. Yeah. Twitter at three hours notice before Ead, like wasn't too many people saw it. He's heard that we have upwards of four listeners. So he really wants us to get the message out so it really doesn't get to people. Like

no one hears about it. Yeah. So they only apply if you listen to this podcast, stay indoors. Mm-hmm. Just you a lot. Yeah. Don't tell your friends. Don't tell your friends. Don't explain. Yeah. Encourage them not to listen to this. Never explain, never surrender. Yeah. Anyway, so that's a personal message from my good friend, Matt Hancock. Very good. Should we do a speed round then. Yeah. Am I being unreasonable to think the cat is just miserable without me? I don't think the cat is miserable without you is the thing. It's probably having a whale of a time. Yeah. It's not nice to admit it to yourself, but the cat doesn't give a fuck about you. Solitory beasts. Yeah. Am I being unreasonable getting tattoo? Uh, no, I have a tattoo. Unless they mean

the Edinburgh tattoo. Like, you can't invite the full Edinburgh tattoo set up around to your house. That's not social distancing, yeah, for one thing. More than eight. People, I guess, in Edinburgh. Probably very noisy. Yeah. For your neighbours. Well, am I being unreasonable? Fucking neighbours.

Yeah, they've got the tattoo round again. And am I being unreasonable? What do you call this cake? Lemon drizzle? Sure. Probably. Why not? Henry?

Is Henry the name of the cake? No, Henry's a hoover game. It's like... Earlier on we bought a desk called Matthew Desk. Matthew Desk. Matthew Desk sounds like a fake co-worker. Hello, I'm Matthew. Matthew Desk.

Hello, I'm Lemon. Lemon cake. And you'll be sitting here. This is Matthew. Where? The desk. This is Matthew Desk. You'll be right on top of him.

Oh dear. Let's do a full thread, shall we? Okay. Am I being unreasonable to think these books might be counterfeits? A while back, an ad popped up on one of my social media accounts for bargain value children's books, £2.50 a title. I was surprised and pleased to see some Julia Donaldson titles on there, as my loves her books, as do I. So I placed an order and chuck some things in too to qualify for the

free delivery amount. The books have just arrived and there is something off about the JD ones. The paper quality feels wrong and the blackness of the ink for ones for better word is less dark than the titles I've bought recently from a leading supermarket. The letter outlines are slightly wobbly rather than clear and straight so printing quality is obviously a big crap reminds me of when at work you photocopy a photocopy. Quality of the font outline, etc. goes down, although it isn't as terrible or obvious as that. D.H. thinks I'm being overly suspicious about nothing

and thinks the idea of a counterfeit market in Julia Donaldson books is laughable. I can't shake the feeling that the books are weird, though. Is there such a thing as a counterfeit children's book market? I don't even know who I've report my suspicions to, TBH. My suspicions were aroused when the book arrived, and it said, The Murphalo. Fuck. No, it must be the Murphalo.

Everyone loves the Murphalo. Children's classic, The Murphalo. Move to the next one. Prickman. It doesn't seem right, but who am I to question Julia Donaldson, beloved children's book author of The Murphalo and Prickman? Maybe it's just the Buffalo, and it's just about a regular buffalo. Yeah, it doesn't be.

friend a mouse. It tramples on the mouse. It's just a buffalo. It's just a buffalo. It just does buffalo stuff, you know? Yeah, but the ink is so thick. So, so thick. Really thick. Why does the person end the post by saying, I don't even know who I'd report my suspicions to? You don't need to report every passing thought you have. Go straight to the top, Julia herself. Dear Julia, at Julia Donaldson. At Julia Donaldson, CB. I recently recently read than Ruffalo. And I'm confused. This ink is so thick. Why is it so thick, Julia, dancer? And yet the paper is so thin. It's like that onion paper, like that, that bit, paper you're getting bibles. It's like when you lift the page, the words kind of falls through, because

the ink is so heavy and the paper is so light. It's that onion paper, that crinkly paper. Weighing the words down. Two pound fifty a title is bargain value. Yeah, that is. Bargain value, even for counterfeit books. Like if I were operating a counterfeit children's book market, I would still charge more than £2.50. I am curious about the central question here. The central question is, why? Like, is there even such a thing? Is there a counterfeit book children's book market? Yeah. We have to infiltrate. We've got to infiltrate it. But if there isn't one, there's nothing to infiltrate, and then what we've done is create a counterfeit children's book market.

What we've done is crime. And Julia Donaldson might be very very... litigious. She's probably anti-crime. Probably. She is a beloved children's author. Yeah. So, yeah, the IP says that there's something off about the Julia Donaldson ones, but none of the other ones are off. So is this some sort of, like, it's a trick to lure you in. They lure you in with the knock-off Julia Donaldson books, and then you have to buy someone's self-published erotica to get it up to the free delivery. Goodness me. Yeah, and you're getting, you know, the lion who came to Tea, the very hangary caterpillar.

The very hangary caterpillar is the genre of book that I talk about every third episode. Books called Humour that you get near the tills at Christmas. Oh, those parodies. Yeah. Yeah. We've got on the shelves, like the meownorphosis. Yeah, we do. The metamorphosis with cat.

Yeah, because, you know, Kafka and cats. Yeah, catca. Yeah, my twin passions. What are your passion tales, people say? And I say, cats, and I suppose I'd have to say, Kafka. I did, Franz Kafka. Yeah, Franz Kafka. The big man himself, Franz Kafka.

Yeah, maybe that's what that person was talking about, a tattoo was going to get. A tattoo of Kafka, but with little caties, to make it cute, that's the tattoo I'll be getting on my chest. At one point, I thought about proposing to you in the there's a room in the Kafka

Museum in Prague. There is a room in the Kafka Museum in Prague, which is like a testament to every woman that Kafka treated like a bag of dicks. That I get I hadn't listened to you properly when you talked about it and thought you'd said it was really romantic. Yeah. But it's, it wasn't when we got there. It's just, Kafka just treated a load of women terribly.

At a period in time where women had even like worse shit going on than they do now, where like, you know, if you've fucked Kafka and then he won't even marry you, you're an outcast. Yeah, I really misheard you. I thought you said it was romantic. Yeah, no. Maybe you said it was anti-romantic. Who knows? Yeah, I think probably what I said was,

I do like the trial, but Kafka, he sounded like a shit boyfriend. This guy's a trial in himself. Hot 2020 takes. Kafka was a shit boyfriend. So Kafka's cancelled. I don't think we need to cancel Kafka. He's already dead. He wanted to be cancelled.

He wanted Max Broad to burn all his stuff. Yeah. Max Broad should be cancelled. Max Broad insisted on platforming him. He simply would not cancel him. He wanted to renal platform. So maybe there's some Kafka books in here, but they're not counterfeits. They're the real deal.

Yeah, they're not children's books anyway. I don't know. You could read Kafka as a child. My youth theatre group did The Trial. Gregor Sam sort of woke in his bed to find himself transformed into a monstrous Gruffalo. Honestly, though, I played Joseph Kaye in a youth theatre production of The Trial. when I was, I don't know, 15? Fantastic.

Is this explaining some things about me? I was the sort of 15-year-old who played the lead in a Kafka play. An adaptation of Kafka's The Trial, I believe, adapted by Stephen Burkoff. Goodness me. Just to make it worse. Back to the thread. I've really gone up on a tangent here. The letter outlines are slightly wobbly, and the printing...

I like that it must be a typo, but it says the printing is a big crap. A big crap. But now on... Anytime I want to describe something as being a big crap, I'm going to say it was a big crap. Maybe this is just the regular mainstream children's book market. Like, why would you photocopy to create a counterfeit? It does seem really odd that you would create counterfeit children's books. They're such a difficult thing to counterfeit as well if you're just photocopying

because they're all like, you know, high-resolution text and glossy images. Non-standard page sizes. Yeah, exactly. They're not A4. No, if you're going to counterfeit anything, just counterfeit money, like skip the middle round where you're getting £2.50 a time. How much must it cost you? Not just in money, but in the opportunity cost. Is it worth it for £2.50 a pop? Yeah.

Have some self-respect. You need to work out a living wage for yourself in your counterfeit children's business. You need to sell like free, maybe four books just to buy a new children's book to counterfeit to foot a copy. Yeah, exactly. And you would need to be selling four books an hour to hit a living wage. and that's before you've factored in all of the, you know, the cost of printing and etc. This is why we're starting our campaign for living wage for children's book counterfeiters. Not just them, all counterfeiters, all fraudsters, a living wage for fraudsters. They're suffering at this time, this unprecedented time. Someone has suggested, probably seconds from the publisher, i.e., not up to shop standards, but fine to get them on the cheap,

which is the most logical explanation. I think this person has really cracked the case wide over. But then someone else has said they sound like books you can buy in India, so that sounds like some casual racism. Deary me, let's do another thread. Am I being unreasonable to consider dating men who are less intelligent than I am? Disclaimer, I know I sound like a dick. I come from a very low class background and I have clawed my way into respectability and a decent living through sheer will and probably some measure of intelligence. In most of my life, I am surrounded by intelligent and educated people. I have gone through a terrible breakup, and I would like to date again someday.

In a recent conversation with a lovely and very gay male friend, he seems shocked that I wouldn't go for a less intelligent man. I think he's done this. I feel there's a lot of cultural pressure for women to be with men who they consider to be superior in some way. I realise I have totally internalised this. Thoughts? Help! I've asked my very gay friend.

And now I need an intelligent man to help. You don't need an intelligent man. man, you need a less intelligent man. You need a dollard, a kindly dullard. A fool. A fool, a simple fool. A forest gump type. Sure. A forest gump type. They can usually be found sitting on benches, you know, picking up feathers, talking about chocolate. Yeah. Playing table tennis with Richard Nixon. Sounds like a nice enough lifestyle. Yeah. He was really good to Jenny. Yeah. Jenny. So, you know, there we go. Only date a man less intelligent than you if the man in question is Forest Gump. Yeah, if the man has special educational needs in the case of

Forest Gump. Yeah. That might not be what they're talking about. It might not, but it might. They haven't specified how much less intelligent, because that's quite arbitrary. But we're in keeping with how problematic this whole thing is. It's a weird way to think about other people. It really is. I'm not in the habit of ranking the people I meet based on intelligence and thinking how intelligent they are. The last time that that seemed like a thing that you would think about would be when you're at school

and everyone's put into different sets and even then you would know that there were people in various sets who had all sorts of skills that the school perhaps wasn't set up to accommodate and people who were in other sets who actually had very few skills

and were just good at playing the game. You can work that out as a child. Yeah, it seems like a bad framework fairly adjacent to IQ, which is bad. Highly problematic. A bad way to measure. Anything about a person. So how is this person gauging whether or not someone is more intelligent than them?

Because people have very different interests as well. She's just been dating people in Mensa. Yeah? So what's a step down from Mensa? She thinks this is a terrible breakup with someone that she met at the Nagty Summer School when she was 12 and they've been together ever since. So I stepped down from Mencer. Mentor is someone who's applied, but when rejected from Mentor.

Yeah. She needs to start hanging out outside Mensa and look for a sad sack. Look, sad. You know, they've got a sad, droopy dog expression. Well, no, but won't those people feel like they've got something to prove? They'll be the worst ones. No. I think this person's the worst one, but, you know.

I mean, they say themselves that they spend all their time surrounded by very intelligent and educated people, and yet they don't seem to think that dating any of those people as a prospect, potentially because they know that they are, in fact, a dick. Maybe they're all couples anyway. Oh, maybe. Yeah, do you think they go to all these intelligent, educated couples' dinner parties like unbearable sitcoms from the 90s? And everyone's like, ah!

The very gay friend is saying, why don't you date a kindly dollard? Darling, you simply must take to kindly dollard. Have you thought about Joey? He seems fun. How are you doing? Exactly. Joey in later seasons as well, and he's really, they really dial up his dull. gets dumb as the show goes on, like Homer Simpson.

Yeah, absolutely. I just, I think, she says I feel there's a lot of cultural pressure for women to be with men who they consider superior in some way. I realise that I've totally internalised this. There's no way that I can say this next sentence without it sounding like a slight against you, my love, but no, there's not, what are you on about? Just go out with anyone, it's fine. Is that a thing?

It's how cultural pressure for women to be with a man they think is somehow superior to them? I don't know, if there is, I can only apologise for the state you've gotten yourself into. Well, I mean, culturally, this is embarrassing. Yeah, exactly. I think there's a cultural pressure. The patriarchy, that's what it is. It's the patriarchy. Oh, this thing again.

Oh, I know. It rears its ugly head every time, doesn't it? Back. Where, for sort of reasons of bravado, men probably would prefer to feel that they have more, like, cachet in any given situation than... their partner, this is all very heteronormative, but I'm working in the framework of the post. Obviously, I know the world is more than that. But in those sort of heteronormative ways, perhaps there is a cultural expectation that the man will be like the breadwinner and the clever one and the woman will be like, ha ha ha ha, look at me. Wow. I have wonderful boobs. Maybe that is

a cultural thing because of the patriarchy. Must be nice to feel like you have the cachet in any situation. It is. So maybe that's what, the OP is referring to, but I don't think I've ever knowingly wanted to be with somebody who I felt was superior to me. I think I had an ex as a much younger woman, a much more naive woman, who believed he was superior to me in many ways. And I think I bought into that, but I bought into that because of 18 months of being told that. Having anyone being... Like, not because that was what I was looking for to begin with. Like, that being the end result of that was bad news, not a good cultural success story.

I feel like I've a party in a relationship feeling that they are superior to the other. It's toxic. It's a toxic way of comporting a relationship. Yeah. What the hell? Maybe this person means intelligent in the sort of conventional bookish sense.

Maybe they want someone who shares their values and they believe that their values are intelligent values. Maybe they want someone who's got the same interests as them and they're into like, you know, things that they think are intelligent pursuits, whatever. Maybe that's what they mean. They want someone like Frazier Yeah, maybe they are

Like Frazier themselves And they want someone like Frazier Yeah Matea from the Fred Ladies, it's scarce out there These unprecedented times All the men are staying indoors All the intelligent men are staying indoors

You need to find yourself a dummy You need to find yourself someone Who's gone to a rave inexplicably Yeah, the problem is dummies go to big parties And dummies don't wear masks The dummies are dying off because of COVID and the non-dummies are all indoors the intelligence of the gene pool is rising

it's bad for people who want to date dummies this is some eugenics shit this is some serious eugenics shit someone has said how are you measuring intelligence if you can have an interesting conversation with someone hold similar values and have things in common then does it matter what their IQ is if you were dating someone and they asked what your IQ was

scrub a drink in their face and leave my friend yeah that's a deal breaker ladies That is a deal breaker. It depends on what you want from a relationship and what you value for some people. Intelligence in the conventional sense is absolutely essential. Others place more of a priority on other things like reliability and affectionate nature. Looks, money. You name it.

Yeah, sure, if you want an intelligent man, but some of us want a look-up. Some of us want a reliable man. These intelligent men always floating around with their lofty ideas. Never turn up when they say they will because they've been sidetracked. Curing cancer. Going into a library. Yeah, someone said there's nowhere I would consider dating someone less intelligent.

What, so you're choosing to be the less intelligent party in the relationship? I don't understand. Like, you just, you connect with people because you have stuff in common and, oh, I don't know. Nonsense. Lots of people here are saying, you know, that, yeah, they agree that you need a more intelligent man. So perhaps they have internalised some patriarchal bullshit. That doesn't surprise me. Am I being unreasonable?

to think we need to tax the robots. The country clearly needs to increase the amount of tax taken. There seem to be more and more robots around, e.g. self-service checkouts. These machines often replace a human whose wages would need to be taxed, or at least N.I would be paid. Am I being unreasonable to think we need to tax some of these robots? Maybe start with the customer-based ones, self-service tools, driverless cars, Amazon pickup points, etc. I'll need a robot to collect the taxes, of course, to calculate the taxes on the robots.

I can't believe the self-service checkouts have been picking up their paycheck each month and there's been no tax or an eye on it. None at all. Just get their pay check. It's just one number. They just take our money. I just went to Sainsbury's and, you know, tap my card on the self-service. That robot took my money. They're not paying taxes. Then again, they're not using anything that taxes go towards. Yeah, it would be odd to make a self-service checkout pay national insurance. Yeah, they don't need it. Yeah, they're not going to use the NHS. Unlikely. They don't need social care. Unlikely. I think that when the

self-service checkouts, you know, get old. They just upgrade them until they can't anymore. And then I think they probably recycle the parts. Yeah, they're not calling their GP. So, hello, I have a malfunction. If you're conflating these, then it seems to be suggesting that people and robots can be treated the same. So does that mean that we shouldn't call our GP? We should just get someone to put a little, like, folded up a four piece of paper saying, out of order on us for a few days until someone can get to it and just hope for the best. Yeah. I need to see a doctor. Those an unexpected eye. item in my bagging area.

Whoa. I am a robot. Next time you're sick, I'm going to put a little bit of paper on you that says out of order and then just shut the door on you and leave you for a bit. Hope someone comes and fixes me. Hope someone sees it. Yeah. I mean, this would be a great idea if we were taxing humans to the capacity that we could.

Yeah. Maybe we should start with, off the top of my head. Jeff Bezos, maybe. Maybe he could stand to pay a little more tact. I mean, he could start by paying a little more tax so the robots don't have to I say don't tax the robots until we've sucked Jeff Beezer's fortune dry

Yeah, I mean, the thing is taxing the robots, you would just be taxing the people who own and create the robots, wouldn't you? But what you're talking about, OP, is corporation tax So yes, you actually come up with a very good point We could tax corporations more Or we could make them pay the amount of tax they're supposed to Yeah, it's a weird way to frame it as taxing the robots.

Because Ford, I'm sure, has loads of robots making its cars. Yeah. But we're not taxing the robots, we're taxing Ford, the owners of the robots. What I want to see is the next series of Inside the Factory, I want Greg Wallace to go around taxing all of the bits of the factory. So where there's like, you know, those machines that check that all the cans are a uniform weight, I want Greg Wallace just be there presenting it with a tax bill. I watched AI a week.

That was bad. It was bad, but there was a sex robot, a sex worker robot played by Jude Law, and I don't know if he paid taxes. I would have liked to have a good half hour of the film on that. I don't think it could have made it any more boring. There was absolutely no reason for that Jude Law character to be a sex robot. No. And we just got into a very long conversation. Yeah, but quite easily, that character could have been Joe.

Mechanic, Joe. I've got no issue with the representation of robot sex workers. I just felt like it was adding to an already over. along the film that they introduced that jigolojo is a jigloi and then they didn't do anything that made that a relevant piece of information presumably jigolo joe is making money then and what does he do with his money like does he buy things for himself is the money going to jigolo joe or is the money going to the corporation who created jigolo joe joe co jigolo jocco i don't know does he need to buy things like robo snacks robo condoms got to be safe i think he is safe well no

I need to know. If he's putting his robot parts in multiple people, there's still a risk of cross-transmission there, surely. You can sterilise it, though, right? Yeah, I guess so. I need to know if Gigolo Joe ejaculates. Do you? Yeah.

AI director's cut now. Spielberg, get on it. Hell, this has taken a turn. Heaven's to Betsy. Extended discussion of how he sterilises his bits. Say tax. Tax is good. Let's talk about tax.

Let's talk about tax, baby. Let's talk about... No. taxing technology on its output directly is a bit trickier otherwise there would be a case for taxes on your calculator your phone or even a pen and paper you can't tax things that aren't being paid because tax comes out of earnings yeah then so like when you put when you use a calculator you don't say thank you calculator here's a pound and then you say to your calculator I actually need 20 pence back from that pound for tax

when Sainsby to get self-service checkouts to replace someone's job like they're not pay that money's not held in reserve for them. No. They're just paying less on expenditure. Held in reserve for the self-service checkout, like a savings account for a baby. Well, yeah, like maybe it's going to Mr Sainsbridge, some big fat cat.

Yeah. Ultimately, I guess. But that's a really abstract way of thinking about it. It is. There's something quite beautiful about the weirdness of this. It's a weird way to think about self-service robots. It's been a while since we've had a classic Mumsnet scheme, and this is a real classic Mumsnet scheme.

net scheme. It's more abstract than the normal schemes. More robots equals fewer expenses and higher profits, upon which corporation tax is connected. Not sure if you're aware, but companies get a net tax rebate for investing in robotic research and development. They become negative taxpayers. What? Is that true? I feel like we should fact-check that. The robots are not only not paying tax. They're getting tax breaks on the tax that they don't pay. Yeah, this is, oh my word. They're scroungers. I can't believe this. Broken Britain. Man alive. In stuff like The Matrix, like people rebel against the robots because the robots try and kill them. But in real life, people are going to rebel against the robots because the robots are scroungers. Yeah. They'll be whipped up into a hatred by the Murdoch press over this tax issue with the robots. Yeah. And then people will be attacking the self-service machines. We'll be shouting abuse at them. You should be ashamed of yourself.

I think you've got a massive telly at home It doesn't have a home It's a self-service checkout He is a massive tele. He's got that big screen You see a self-service checkout And it's got a bottle of beer purchased on it And just a cigarette hanging out with the change

But you're like, how do you afford that? You don't pay your taxes? You're not even wearing a mask Oh, that would be really adorable To see like, you know really cute robots I love a really cute robot A little cute robot in a mask Heartwarming

You remember at St. pancreas on the Eurostar. They've got Pepper the robot. Yeah. It's a little robot who kind of talks to you and does stuff when they're not out of order 90% of the time. That makes it sound like you go to the Euro star so often. We, if they weren't this pandemic, we would be in Paris right now. But yeah, if they put a little mask on Pepper, that would be adorbs. Yeah, I mean my heart would melt. I would cry. All the robots in the Science Museum, little masks. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Absolutely perfect. Every cash machine has a little mask. A little mask on the cash machine.

Which brings me to my announcement from Matt Hancock, which is that from three hours from now, every drone needs to wear a mask. No, mask announcements get 10 days. If every drone has to stay indoors, then that actually applies as of, yeah, three hours from now. But to wear a mask, you get 10 days notice. Should we do one more thread and then we'll call it a day? Yes. Am I being unreasonable to have learned Chris? thinking skills from am I being unreasonable? I know it's known as a nest of vipers and it can be infuriating at times, especially when people are clearly picking apart an OPs post just for the

sake of it, but I've actually learned a lot about critical thinking from this forum, question what you're being told, form counter arguments, etc. I actually also think my vocabulary has increased from being on this forum too. So, what are the positive lessons you've learned from your time on Am I being unreasonable? So I'm coming to the end of a master's degree, a two-year master's degree in cultural and critical studies. Oh, great, this podcast must have made you a real shoo-in for that then. Well, this is it.

Like, I feel like just sacking in the dissertation now. Half written. But why bother? I can just go on Mumsnet. I could have been on Mumsnet all this time. You could have been on Mumsnet all this time. My undergraduate degree was in philosophy for away those years, because I could have been on Mumsnet.

Yeah, so it's like, you know, when you're on a train and it's pulling into a term and a station and there's a thing hanging on a new bill building and it says if you lived here you'd be home by now and it's like that but you log in to something union related and instead it pops up with mum's net and it says am I being unreasonable to think that

if you came here you wouldn't need this degree by now that's what happens I have the week off next week but I think I'm going to go to the executive board of the university I work at and say I have a solution for online teaching for the next term. Yeah you just put every individual class up framed as an

am I being unreasonable? Yeah, it's a little site called Mumsnet and it can have hundreds of concurrent users and we don't have to pay a red cent Welcome to the future of education Oh my God, could you imagine like the clash between

SOAS students and Mumsnet users don't feel like there's a lot of shared values there I might be wrong about that No, no So that's how all of the universities can run from the autumn term. It'll just frame everything as now by being unreasonable and everyone will get great critical thinking skills. Yeah.

Also really helpful if you're teaching languages because vocabulary is increased from being on this forum too. Well, yeah, terms like DH, DC, CF, all these terms. I didn't know before we started this podcast. Exactly. And now we know loads. Now we're fluent. And then obviously the OEP ends their post by saying so. What are the positive lessons you've learned from your time on Am I Being Unreasonable? And no one has responded.

This was posted three days ago. Oh, there's literally it. Not a single response. We're not going to hear from the Fred? There is no thread to hear from. We can't hear from the Fred, because there is no thread. Because someone said, what positive lessons have you learnt for Am I Being unreasonable? And everyone thought, I can't.

I have nothing to say. A big performative silence. Yeah. What more is there to say? Tumbleweed. Like, like Wittgenstein said. Wherever we cannot speak, we must proceed in silence. That sort of intelligence, that's why I'm with you.

Because of my Wittgenstein and critical thinking skills. Culturally from Mumsner, I know that I need to be with someone who quotes Wittgenstein. I too can quote Wittgenstein, but I need to cite Vittgenstein's family resemblance thing. But only to talk about games. What is a game? I don't know. Stein, we just, just roll the dice. But what is a game?

I don't know, but you're on a snake. You need to go down it. Get it together, Wittgenstein. Sought it out, mate. Just roll your fucking D20 at Gnstein. You've got to make an attack roll. What game are you playing that is a hybrid of D&D and snakes and ladders? No wonder Wittgenstein's confused.

No, Wittgenstein's right to be asking questions. Vittgenstein has been on Mumsnet because Wittgenstein's critical thinking skills and asking the right questions are perfect. Oh yeah, Wittgenstein would have been all over, Monsnet. Yeah? Well, I loved it. I'm going to create a profile on Mumsnet in which I pretend to be Vittgenstein. Sure.

I'm going to role play as Wittgenstein. Yeah, every answer is just a quote from the tractatus, the philosophical investigations, the blue and brown notebooks. How long do you think it would take for me to get banned for being a trial if I did that? I'd know. That'd be a great performance piece. It would probably take longer than I have the patience to do it, but I am quite tempted

and I would make the username Wittgenstein I would be very transparent about what I was doing L-VITters Let's do one more speed round Am I being unreasonable Buying best friend's house

Buying best friends a house Or buying a house that your best friend is selling I mean there's no apostrophe in friends So I guess you're buying your best friend's a lovely house If you're buying your friend's house out from under them They've put an offer in a house And you're gazumping them That's a dick move

Just to keep them on their toes You don't even want it No Just you had some drama To the process They cancelled on you at short notice When you were going to go to soft play So now you're gazumping them

Putting in an offer 10 grand over the asking price It's only fair And being unreasonable To think most people Cook from their heads They just cook from their heads Throwing bits into a blender

Great That's how I cook I just throw bits into a blender. That is how you cook. Just throw bits into a blender. Yeah, now you've said it, that is how I cook. That's why our blender broke the other day.

Our blender worked really hard for me for the last five months. I like it. I miss it. And Am I Being Unreasonable, what calls this mysterious wet patch? Gigolo Joe. Maybe. Does he ejaculate? We just don't know.

Thanks for listening. Spielberg, won't we turn my emails? Thanks for listening. I've written a feature for Take OneCinema.net on black and white re-releases to coincide with the Parasite black and white re-release, which, meh. I mean, Parasite's great. Yeah. Great film. Not sure the black and white adds much. Sorry, Director Bong. But yeah, it's on black and white re-releases and video games and digital colour palette switching and stuff like that. So go and read that. Take OnCinma.

coma. Great. That sounds brilliant. I, as ever, have nothing to plug. So with that. Yeah. Tell your friends. Follow us on Twitter. You can listen to us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, wherever. Yeah, wherever you've found us now. Thanks for listening. Thank you. Bye.