You Are Being Unreasonable - 087 - In which we ask you to post cash through the letterbox, no worries if not

Episode Date: November 12, 2020

"It's important that I keep my blood-cocaine levels up because I'm breastfeeding this '80s child." People on Mumsnet are so different to the people we know in real life. This is entirely a good thing as we discover as we dive into the site again. This week, we discuss a husband complaining about creamy garlicky pasta bakes because he'd prefer to scoff Maccies and burning a curry so much it turns into a kebab, or someone rounding up their age, how people on Mumsnet are nothing like any of the people in real life, the meaning of the phrase "up for grabs" and encouraging people to drop cash through the letterbox, rounding up ages and enjoying a Jesus-themed birthday party at 33, and we meet Mumsnet's new mascot, the Mumsnet Chicken.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when their prescription. All I know is the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day. Hello.

Hello, welcome to You Are Being Unreasonable. The podcast about People Being Unreasonable, on mumsnet.com with me, Helms. And me, Simon. How's it going, Simon? Pretty good. Things are going pretty well. Yeah.

In the world and in this room. It's a nice room. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And a nicer world, potentially. I'm ready to concede Best Podcast Award to Kermuda Mayo. Okay.

You know, actually doing a concession speech is just a... It's a convention, not a law. Yeah. I think they gave the award to them some time ago. Everyone did say... It was a kind of awards in like February. Everyone did say that it was a bit much that you weren't going to concede, but you didn't actually need to.

Didn't need to, just a formality. Yeah. They haven't been waiting. They didn't wait. They just did the ceremony. Shocking, really. Shocking. Should we do a speed round?

Yes. Am I being unreasonable to feel sorry for Melania? Yes. Am I being unreasonable, the Momsnet chicken. The Momsnet chicken, a bald new mascot for Monset. It's clucks. That chicken? For context, the Mumsnet chicken is where people go on Mumsnet and they claim that they feed their family of four from one chicken for a whole week by simply having a roast and then sandwiches and then soup and then they use the stock to make a simple something else. Well, yeah, but then they lure on bones and then they live under a rock.

But then all you eat is chicken. Yeah. Chicken for breakfast, chicken for lunch, chicken for dinner. What's for breakfast? Chicken cereal. What's that? It's just chicken bones that have diced up real small so they look. look like corn flakes, but they'll break your teeth. In milk. Ugh. Am I being unreasonable, Cornwall? Yeah, Commonwealth's lovely. Carnish independence now.

And am I being unreasonable, which sperm donor would you go for? Hmm. Probably the oldest. The sperm that has been there the longest is what I mean. You know that you won't have a little anachronistic child? Just because you pick the ancient sperm that's been frozen. You won't have an edwardian. gentleman. Well, not Edwardian. I can't imagine some Edwardian man jizzing into a cup.

Edwardians gist too. But just some kind of 80s, a latexie's child, loves Frankie goes to Hollywood. Oh, I was picturing more like a power suit and four espressoes in the morning. Yeah, cocaine. Yeah. It's important that I keep my blood cocaine levels up because I'm breastfeeding this 80s child. Oh, okay. My child is powerfully 80s. Looking the Pramie's got little shades on. He loves Reganomics.

Oh no. Oh, this is a terrible little boy. Shall we do a thread? Am I being unreasonable? Other half complaining about my dinners. I've just made a lovely tuna bake, creamy garlicky cheese sauce, sweet corn and tuna, and some garlic bread.

Other half left all his dinner and ate all the garlic bread and said my pasta was plain. He will quite happily scoff his mum's watery tomato pasta, vile, and will scoff mackeys every day. I'm actually sick of cooking for him, as he's always got something to complain about. Sounds garlicky. Yeah. Garlic bread, cheesy garlic sauce, creamy cheesy garlic sauce. Sounds fine.

Garlicy tuna. Mmm. And instead of pasta, just garlic. And instead of eating any of that, he'll just have the garlic bread. It's just cloves of garlic in a simple. garlic sauce with flaked garlic instead of tuna, and then some grated garlic over the top. It's 30 cloves, but it really cooks down. It's not overpowering. That's why you've got half the garlic bread with it. Yeah.

The cheap garlic bread that is sort of acrid and is too garlicky. Mmm. Hmm. Hmm. I've got a suggestion. If you're sick of cooking for him, stop cooking for him. Stop cooking for him. It sounds like he's happy scoffing Mackie's. She does say scoff twice, which makes you wonder how. how this man eats. Scoffing at Mackey's, standing outside the McDonald's. You want minimum wage? I'm not here to copy edit anyone's threads,

but using scoff twice in a row is really risable. It's too much scoffing, hell. It's too much scoffing, that's the thing. You know, if you've got a persistent scoff, you need to get a COVID test. Also, if you've got COVID, you might be able to eat this very garlicky meal and think that it is bland. Maybe he's got COVID. Yeah, he'll be able to taste it.

Well, yeah, maybe he'd lost his sense of taste. Yeah. So he doesn't like your garlicky tuna bake. That's why he thinks it's plain. Yeah, because he can't taste it. He needs to get a COVID test ASAP and self-isolate for seven days. And it sounds like him isolating from you would be doing you a real flavour. Yeah.

I don't think you like him much. He used to self-isolate at McDonald's. You know, you get to choose, you can just. walk into McDonald's and say, I self-isolate and everyone else has to leave. Including all the people that prepare all of the food and keep it clean. You'd have to do that. Yeah, so now it's like, it's like a bad zombie film, isn't it? Or you're hiding out in a Mackees.

Yeah, yeah. I'm sure there's instructions on the boxes, but, you know, you don't want to be slaving over a deep fat friar. It's either a bad zombie film or it's a kid's film where for some reason this kid has been left to run riot in Mackeys and they think it'll be amazing. And they're flipping up burgers and there's a montage. And it's three hours later, and they're crying under a pile of those little sheets of paper they put in the bottom of the Big Mac box. Yeah, this is a kid inherits a McDonald's from his wealthy uncle.

I'm not wealthy, he just owns a McDonald's for a child. His wealthy uncle, Ronald. No, the twist at the end is that it's not Ronald McDonald, it's Ronald Reagan, and it's the little Reaganomics boy from the start podcast. Whoa. Mindlow. Yeah. Should we hear from the thread? Yeah.

Stop cooking for him. Stop cooking for him then. then stop cooking for him. Make him cook then. Does he ever do any cooking? I was just looking over at your screen and it looks like it's a stop cooking for ham. Stop cooking for ham. I wouldn't cook for ham. I made him a ham pasta bake, a creamy garlic sauce, ham bread. Okay, you say that, but when I went out the day before the England-wide lockdown came in and said I was getting some stuff to make a lockdown nicer and asked if you want it is anything,

you simply said ham. As I've explained to you, I thought you meant the same. subset of things that go on a sandwich. For no reason. I never said anything about a sandwich. I thought we're talking about sandwich things to make lockdown nicer. What type of sandwich do you want during lockdown? Ham. You can have one type of sandwich for a whole month, and you picked ham,

way for thin ham. What kind of sandwich would you have for a whole month? Something luxurious. Go on. I would have... Caviar. No, I would have humus avocado and sundried tomato toasted on... seeded bread.

Every day. Yeah. It's a good sandwich. Yeah, a woman of convictions. So I think if I said to you, oh, I've made you a ham pasta bake with a ham loaf and whatever the other ham thing was, you'd say, oh, thanks, Heles, you're so good to me. Yeah, that sounds fine. You'd eat your ham loaf and your ham pasta, and you'd be a ham man. He's one of the ham men.

Mm-hmm. I'm happy with, I'm happy scoffing down whatever ham you give me. Whatever ham is put in front of me. Someone has said, I make my DP's dinner for his work every night, and it's always something, the gravy was too runny, the potatoes were too hard, there was too much in the tub, every bloody day, we should stop cooking. You definitely should. There was too much in the tub. Like, is he a simple baby? Just eat what you want and leave what you don't. You should stop cooking. It seems like the mums and that mums are really on the edge of a wages for housework type movement, like in the 70s. really to draw attention to the unrecognised female labour. The OPs come back and said he never cooks. The one time he did, he burnt the curry so bad it turned into a kebab.

You have to burn the curry somewhat to turn it into a cabb. He did a magic trick. It's like shit alchemy. It's like alchemy, only it's terrible. And at the end, there's a kebab. Yeah, sorry, I burnt it. It's a perfect kebab. It's just fresh carved up with a nice soft bread.

Like, you're watching over his shoulder your back suit driving him trying to make dinner and you're looking in the pan and it looks like it's going badly, it's going badly, it's going badly, it's going badly. You blink, boom. For some reason, now he's got a saucepan with a perfect kebab in it. Sorry, I stopped stirring the pasta and now it's ducal orange. Someone has said the first time DH criticises something that's the last time I'm, I do it. Well, okay. I don't know about the first time.

Yeah, I mean, you should learn to communicate more effectively. It's okay in a relationship to say, oh, I don't know about this. It's polite to thank people when they make you a meal and be grateful. I suppose it depends on how it's criticised. It would be one, yeah. If it's criticized by him just eating a whole garlic bread,

the way I'm picturing it is like in Scooby-Doo with the big sandwiches, but you put the whole garlic bread, pong, la-blanc. You should save some garlic bread for you as well. Yeah, then that's bad. that and then he says oh this was playing but if he just says sorry i just didn't fancy it it wasn't really for me i don't really like tuna pasta bake but thanks if he takes the meal to the window and just tips it out or maintaining eye contact with you yeah that's a deal breaker that's a deal breaker

yeah and then it's just back to people saying let him make his own dinner why do you see cooking meals for an ungrateful adult as your job yeah so leave him sat in his ass at the table then sat in his ass wages for housework should we move on yeah am I being unreasonable to think people on mumsnet

are nothing like anyone I know in real life on mums net the majority of posters seem articulate witty well educated and quite middle class they come across as being interested in lots of different things

most have been to university and got married etc in real life the people I know are just what I would consider normal some of us have been to college or university some haven't None are in fancy jobs and most rent their homes. Lots of my friends had their kids out of wedlock.

From some of the things I read on here, not all, these would be classed as bad decisions. Am I the only person who feels Mumsnet doesn't match their day-to-day life? Sorry, not very good at putting things in words. This post did not go the way I expected from the titles. Tell me what you expected. The title again is, am I being reasonable to think people on Mumsnet

and nothing like anyone I know in real life? I thought that meant the people on the people on mum's net are insufferable, busy bodies, interfering in other people's business all the time. And fortunately, this person doesn't know anyone like that in real life. Obsessed with genitalia that is not theirs and people's gender identities. Trying to make a chicken last a whole week. Putting up with husbands who just scoff garlic bread. Just transphobia and chicken bones.

That's what this website is. But no, but no. The majority of posters are articulate, witty and well-educated. Unlike the people this person knows in real life. I do hope no one this person knows in real life identifies them because they're about to lose their real-life, ill-educated, non-witty, inarticulate friends. Yeah, my friends cannot string two words together. Are not funny.

I'm not educated and are all upper class. My friends make what Mumsnet would say are bad decisions Right, no one on Mumsnet has talked about your friends You come to Mumsnet to say, my friends make bad decisions You just sound unpleasant I've got some news for you about the people on Mumsnet And the quality of their decisions Yeah, like...

Because they're not always good They're not, I mean this... That's the point of this podcast. Yeah, there wouldn't be a podcast, would there If it was just people making lots of good decisions We wouldn't just do a congratulatory roundup of the four best decisions each fortnight. Am I being unreasonable to have got comprehensive buildings and contents insurance?

No, no, they're not being unreasonable. Hells? No, I think that was pretty sensible. Let's move on to the next one. I being unreasonable to let people live their lives in peace without wondering what their genitalia is. No, no, I don't think they are being unreasonable. Hells?

Agreed. Yeah, it wouldn't be a good podcast, would it? No, that's not good content. I don't understand. The Monset doesn't match their day-to-day life. It doesn't match my day-to-day life, but not because I think that my friends are thick and make bad decisions and aren't very funny.

You're lucky that your friends haven't had kids out of wedlock. Imagine! Who says out of wedlock? Is this person a troll? I hope this person's a troll. Imagine the questions. The village elders! They'll be scandalised by your friends.

When did you have sex to produce that kid? Is what people will ask. Well, yeah. And then... And what will you say? When I was not in wedlock... I'll tell you where I wasn't. In wedlock.

I was in the bed. I was not in the wedlock. Because I'm not very intelligent. I got confused. I was in Matlock. I thought that was why you were boss. I thought you had to conceive children in Matlock. He fooled me.

He told me we were in wedlock. I'm just not very well educated. It was just a Derbyshire town. Someone said, I think it's unusual to only know people who are just like you. I know people from all walks of life for the range of education, interests, wealth, etc. This is getting dangerously close to those. You should reach out to your friends who voted Trump posts on Twitter.

Like, oh, I've got friends across the spectrum. I'm an adult. I have friends who are witty and friends who are dullards. Because I'm an adult. No, I saw a kind of, you know, this is Bob, this is Sally. Sally and Sally voted Democrat, Bob voted Republican put their friends because they're adults and can put differences aside.

No, it sounds like Sally's a fucking fascist. I thought you said that Bob voted. Whoever. Because if Sally's a fascist and she happens to vote Democrat, then all right, she probably has got more in common with Bob. She's not very well educated. All fascists together all the time. Round them up, make them isolate in the Mackeys.

But, you know, saying that you've got friends all over, from all political spectrums. I don't have friends from all walks of life because there are some walks of life that I don't need interfering with my energy. I'm just vibing. I don't want this. You can't have friends from all walks of life. That's nonsense.

I'm minding my business, I don't need to go and make friends with a pedo or a Nazi. Well, yeah, but I was just thinking as mundane as, like, you know, friends who went to Eton. It's not inconceivable that you might have those. Sure. You know, you're not also going to know someone who lives in a Welsh mining town

I know someone remote in the Scottish highlands and someone in the middle of New York City know people everywhere from the lowliest African plainsmen But which of those people is the Nazi and the Pido Because those are the people you need to get your I'm a centrist bingo card filled in Look at your friendship group

And if you can't identify the Nazi and the Pido I've got bad news for you. It's you. Oh, God. Some posters seem like me, some don't. I'm working class, done okay for myself, have daily struggles, didn't go to uni, joined the forces instead, I'm not well spoken, I'm divorced, issues with X, just plodding along really, like everyone else.

You sound like an advert from early in lockdown. Let's do it in the early lockdown advert form. Here's to the working class, to the done okay for myself, to the daily struggles. Here's the didn't go to uni and they joined the forces instead. To the not well spoken, to the divorce, to the issues with X,

to the Jop's plodding along, really. Here's to everyone else. Aldi. Here's to the shoppers. In Aldi's defence, they've binned that off and have just got some sort of anthropomorphic carrot. Here's to the carrot.

Yeah, and then it's just everyone giving their little speeches like they're an early lockdown advert. that lots of people talking about the cost of houses for some reason. Everything in Britain comes back to the cost of houses. The other thing they need to really think about is that probably most people on Mumsnet are lying. You wouldn't go on Mumsnet and just be yourself, would you?

Would you? No. Maybe some people are proud to be here, not like us. In the shadows. Watching from the sidelines. Here's to the Mumsnetters. And then the advert just cuts out. Someone's interrupted the broadcast because they cannot bear it.

And on that, should we do another thread? Yes. Am I being unreasonable? Up for grabs, but then asked for cash. Someone I vaguely know has listed an item on a local group as up for grabs on its last legs, be quick. I would be able to use the item so PM'd them to arrange to collect it. All good.

However, they've asked me to drop cash through their letterbox, if I feel like it, or just take it, if not. I was expecting it to be free, but now I feel awkward just taking it. Are I being unreasonable, or are they? we wouldn't otherwise be going to buy this and the price they've asked for it's only a little less than it would cost if I bought it new

rather than collecting something which is on its last legs maybe this is just something they tell everyone who comes to visit their house drop the cash through the letterbox if you feel like it maybe they're just chances no harm in asking

yeah like when we have friends around on your way out just drop cash through the letterbox if you feel like it we haven't had friends around since that's not being allowed don't call the cops on us yeah obviously but you know Or asking the postman. To just drop some cash.

Yeah, just drop some cash for the letterbox if you feel like it. Collecting the posts, opening the envelope, seeing there's no cash in them, and chasing the postman down the road. You can ask people to do anything if you say, no worries if not afterwards. Yeah, exactly. Like, as a woman in the workplace, that's how I ask people to do things that are their fucking job. But it's also how I send messages to you if you've gone to the shop and I want something really annoying and specific.

Yeah. Could I have a catering size bag of Sumac? No worries if not. But then equally, yeah, could you just review the document I sent you three weeks ago? No worries if not. You can ask people to do anything if you say, no worries if not.

Exactly. Would you kill this person who's been bothering me? No worries if not. Oh, sorry, actually. I'm a bit... No, no way. No worries. No worries.

No worries. No worries. No worries. Would you assassinate this political leader for me? words, if not. Is that what's on their last legs, but you need to collect it and be quick? A political leader. Donald Trump. Up for grabs, on its last legs, be quick. Could be. It's Donald Trump. It's Donald Trump.

Up for grabs. I wasn't actually going to buy a Donald Trump, but I figured I could use it if it was free. Yeah. It's good at making deals. The art of the deal. Which it sounds like you could do with learning, because if you want it for free and free as an option, just take it for free. Maybe you do need this free Donald Trump on its last legs, no worries if not. If someone says something's up for grabs, then it's free, right? I would assume so. I was the use of the phrase up for grabs.

Yeah, like, I think so, but... I think I got, like, two copies of the same book sent to me the other day. So I posted on the group chat, one of these is up for grabs. Yeah, and then you posted, just drop cash through the letterbox. Yeah, just Venmo me. No worries if not. Just venmoe me at what you think it's worth. Don't look it up.

Yeah, I don't remember. really, I really want to know what the item is. I feel like that will make a difference to how I feel about the whole situation, even though it shouldn't. That's important. What if it's like a stew? A stew? On its last legs? Oh, a moldy stew. We've had this stew for a few days now. We just, we bought a chicken and we used every bit of it. So this stew is really on its last legs. Up for grabs. No worries it. Not. Just post money through the letterbox. No worries it not. Oh, we've said up for grabs. Just post money through the letterbox. no worries if not, that it sounds like we're doing Stuart Lee bit up for grabs, just post money

through the letterbox. No worries if not. Yeah, so there's ready to just say, oh, just say no thanks then, just say, I thought it was free, but as it's not, I'm not interested. It sounds like it is free. Like they said, no worries, if not. Yeah, so. So no worries, if not. Someone has said, that'll learn you. And then the OPs come back and said, not sure what you mean. That'll learn you. That'll learn you. That'll teach you. Shouldn't take advantage of people. That will learn you. Well, yeah, that seems to you what they're saying.

Should you put the money through the box, didn't you? The OP says one of the reasons I was going to take it was so they didn't need to dispose of it and it wouldn't go to waste. What will this learn me? It will learn you that sometimes things aren't going to waste. They are just already waste. More of a waste to collect this item and put money through the box and to leave it. For listeners who don't know, that's just me paraphrasing my mum saying that with food it's more of a waste to eat it than to leave it. leave it. You shouldn't ruin a good meal by continuing after the point where you're full

and feeling unwell. You shouldn't ruin a good item that's on its last legs by posting money through the box. Unless it's a tuna pasta bake. That was very plain. It was very plain. It's more of a waste to leave it than to eat it. No, if it was that guy's mum's watery tomato pasta, that would be worth it. He scoffs that. Um, yeah, someone has said, so they're asking for a voluntary donation for something which is, in their words, on its last legs. If they wanted money they should have listed it for the price they expected. I don't blame you for assuming it was free. And then someone else has said to me, up for grabs means available for connection, not necessarily free. What? No, because when you go to the clicking collect section of the

ASTA website, it's not like home delivery or up for grabs. I've got all this shopping and it's up for grabs. Yeah. Now up for grabs means free. Yeah. The item itself is up for being grabbed. Yeah. Isn't it funny how the item is up for being grabbed and down to be grabbed, mean the same thing. It is funny. Mm. It is funny. Are you up for a drink? I'm down for a drink. Yeah. It's crazy. Crazy. Crazy. I call it a crazy world.

This has been Simon's Language Corner. Oh, goodness me. And as someone has said, I would have assumed it was free. We call that bait and switch. I don't think we do call it bait and switch. Me in the con game, those grifters. We call that the old bait and switch. Saw it on the real hustle in 1999. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. going to keep skimming to see if the O.P. ever explains what the item is. The Ope

has said that the asking price that they've suggested that she puts through the letterbox is 90% of the retail value. 90%? Something else last legs. I'm fascinated. Truly fascinating. Do you think she's come on bargain on? She's ashamed of what it is. Probably a dildo or something. Oh and now someone's come along and they've tried to be a grammar pedant about the phrase that will learn you, saying, the phrase is actually, that'll teach you, and now there's a row breaking out, explaining that it's a turn of phrase. It's not correct, but it's a colloquialism.

So that's time to move on. The people on Mum's Net are so different from the people I know in real life. The people I know aren't boring. Got boring pedants. They're actually very interesting pedants. Well-educated, affluent. No, that's a Mumsnet demographic. Amma being unreasonable to ask when you would say you're nearly the next age, six months from your birthday?

Six months? No. Wishing your life away. Absolutely wishing your life away. Because you're as close to your last age as your new age. Yeah. It's not rounding up in primary school maths. No, it's not six months. I don't start rounding up at all because I'm a grown-up. When you're a kid, you round up.

Maybe a month. Okay, your birthday is. in eight days' time, would you say now that you're the age that you are or the age that you will be? The age that I will be. Genuinely? No. I suppose the only time you would say you are the age you're going to be is if someone

asks you what age you are this year. If someone says, how old are you this year, and it's January and your birthday is in December, I think you still have to say the next age. No. You know what I mean? No, because for the majority of the year, you know what I mean? No, because for the majority of that year, you would be the age that you are in January. Yeah, but this year you're turning.

No, but they didn't say what age you turning. They said, how old are you this year? Mostly 30. I would interpret that as how old are you turning this year. You only say that because early on in our relationship, I used to tease you for having a birthday late in the year. Even though mine is later in the year, but I would tease you having a birthday late in the year because just after you turn 28, I'd say 30 next year. and then I realised that one day they too would turn 30 and actually it's fine

yeah it's fine yeah just two 30 year old early 30s I was going to say you're now rounding to the nearest zero yeah I was on when someone says what's your age I just round up to the nearest five I just round to the nearest prime number

yeah I was talking to some friends, like, a few months ago, and they're all like, oh yeah, the next big birthday that we're all going to have is going to be 40. Like, they're all 31 and 32 when we're having this conversation. I was 30. I'm like, I haven't even turned 31. Why are you trying to celebrate my 40th?

No, like, oh, you're so young. Like, you're so young. The next big birthday is 33, like age to Christ. Well, it just feels like people are... I think when people turn 33, They should have big Jesus feed birthdays with crucifixes, you know, moneylenders tables to flip over. Yeah? Uh, what did Jesus eat?

Bread, wine. Fish. Fish. A load of fish. Not enough fish to go around. Big Jesus parties. It's the Jesus party. There's not enough fish to go round and not enough bread to go around.

Yeah. And these money lenders are pissing you off. We've hired us. sex worker to clean your feet with her hair. Yeah, exactly. It's too late for me, but you could have a Jesus party. Yeah, I could. They probably won't be COVID by then. Exactly. Well, there might be COVID by then. Nah, it'll be gone. Well, we'll have to find a new excuse for why I won't be having the Jesus party. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Again, I haven't even turned 31. Let's not be planning my 33rd. I don't think adults round up like this. Children do. Children

I'm seven and a half because kids love birthdays and kids want to be more growing up. That kid's not rounding up properly. Like it needs to round to eight or seven. Yeah, but probably the kid who's seven and a half is seven and four months. Always rounding. Always be rounding. Well, this is something. Why don't we say our ages as, you know, X point X.

Because... Why am I not 33.8? Because, no, because that mixes a 12 and a 10 and it's too much. so that is too much. Yeah, this is why we should have decimal years. We should have decimal years? Oh, goodness me. Should we hear from this thread? The French Revolution enacted decimal time.

What a great revolution. Yeah, they had bread. Oh, no, hang on. Well, they had cake, famously. Someone said, six months is not remotely anywhere near the next age, especially for children. That's true. I wouldn't look at a six-month-old and say they were one. Look at this one-year-old. Not very advanced for one, are you? That's because that's a six-month.

I was sort of teasing this baby. There's really not that much reason to round up your age once you pass 18, 21 in the States. Because you can do everything. You can't go into the offy when you're 17 in six months and be like, well, come on. Once you get to the halfway point, you round up. Well, no, but there's not even any reason to want to do it.

Just give us the MD 2020 boss, man. 17 and the half. I think, and I might have said this before, that there shouldn't be higher age rankings than 18. So you've got something to look forward to. Okay. I can't wait until I'm 50 and I can see... Something's got to give. Yeah.

I saw something's got to give at the cinema when I was like 14. Oh, wow. Because you know when you're a teenager, there's not a lot you can do. If it's raining, then you all just go to the cinema. I'll say five or six of us went to the cinema. I'm like, what's on? I guess we're going to see something's got to give. It's just rubbish.

because we were too young. If that had been certificate 50? We went to see a film, I don't remember what it was, but we went to see the film, and then afterwards we just snuck into another screening, and the other screening was Calendar Girls. And like we'd snuck in. And you snuck out?

No, no. The point was, you know, to sneak in and watch two films for the price of one. And you got to see boobies. It was Callender Girls, Helen Mirren's boobies. They were magnificent for a woman of her age. Sure. Well, on that.

It's not what I wanted when I was 15 and a half. Let's do a speed round. Am I being unreasonable to think Donald Trump, Jr. is an attractive man. Yeah, he's a Nazi. Amma being unreasonable, travelling? No, go for it. Look out for Nazis. Amma being unreasonable, boyfriend jokes, I have no friends.

Oh, that's not very nice. That's not very kind. Be brave enough to be kind, boyfriend. Am I being unreasonable? A revelation, I could argue with you, but this is so much more. more fun. Oh, no. Sounds fun. Yeah, sure.

And one more. Am I being unreasonable, Citizen Kane? Citizen Kane. Citizen Kane. A movie. We don't know. It's a speed round.

Sure. It's meant to be good. Never actually seen it. That surprises me. It's about a sledge, as I understand. Citizen Sledge. Sister Sledge. Sister Sledge.

The sequel to Citizen Kane. Thank you for listening. Do you have anything to plug, Simon? I put my dissertation. I finished a master's degree. I put my dissertation on Humanities Commons. It's not about Mum's Net, so you might not be interested. It's about irony and post-irony in contemporary indie video games. The easiest way is to look at my pinned tweet on my Twitter at Simon XIX. Great. I have something that is currently sitting with an editor that might be out in time and might not. So we'll see, won't we? I probably haven't got anything to plug, but I'll just use our Twitter channels irrelevantly if I do. Thank you.

Thanks for listening. Take care. Thank you. Bye.