You Are Being Unreasonable - 093 - Very special brain geniuses and online gynecology courses

Episode Date: February 4, 2021

"The pedagogical approach for postgraduates is INSTANT FEEDBACK." We're still in lockdown and Mumsnet has as little good chat as we do. But we struggle on and discuss taking a fancy little three year-old to a pre-deputante ball at the Ritz, being complimented on one's "very nice vagina", tips on how to bag a wealthy man while avoiding all discussion of structural inequality, and Simon gets angry about fees discourse in UK Higher Education. Again.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when their prescription. All I know is the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day. Hello.

Hello, welcome to your being unreasonable. The podcast about people being unreasonable on mumsnet.com with me, Hells. And me, Simon. What up, Simon? Good. Good. Good. It's however many weeks into however many lockdowns and really no one has any news anymore.

All we can say is good. Don't have prepared intro bits. I mean, we've never had prepared intro bits unless you've been secretly preparing them and then making me think that you were doing them off the cuff to impress me. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. They're so coordinated. The whole marriage is based on lies.

Yeah. Oh, I thought he was witty, but it turns out, no. No, he'd prepared every conversation ahead of time. Do you have a storage unit somewhere with a big board with lots of strings and pins and threads and news stories where you can make a topical link and picture of my face in the middle, the big heart around it? I'll impress her. Open your eyes held. It's right in front of you. Oh, no.

Should you do a speed round? Yeah. Am I being unreasonable is having three perfumes greedy? Yeah, two. Two perfumes is the rule. Am I being unreasonable, peas in chicken soup? Uh, yeah, get my damn peas. Am I being unreasonable?

Please tell me why. Tell me why, tell me why, why, why, why. Tell me why it ain't nothing. And am I being unreasonable, new identity and new life, or just move out. New identity, new life. But stay living where you are. Go off the grid. Why is the alternative to move out?

It sounds like you would try to have a new identity and a new life, but you would continue living in the home that you currently live in with the people you currently live with. Yeah. Like if I got up one morning and you're like, oh, Hels, do you want a cup of coffee? Hells! I'm Nella. I've never heard of Hales.

For you. I'm Lady Nella and I'm 83. You're not. No, transparently not. I will say, in much the same way, we have no prepared chat because no one has any chat because of all the lockdowns and everything. The boards are very odd at the moment. It's just like a lot of people have got some really petty problems that wouldn't make for good threads. A lot of people have got

problems that are so complex that it feels really unkind to laugh at them, even though my word, I want to laugh at them. Oh no. So it's been an interesting one. I feel like we've got a real diversity of the way that people are currently living their lives on show at the moment. Why can't people just have problems that you can read out in about a minute and then discuss for about 10 minutes? Well, I just don't know. Should we begin? It's very inconvenient. It is. Am I being unreasonable to expect better service than this?

I started a postgraduate qualification taught online on Monday. I completed the first two activities by 10 a.m. short ones and posted the required entry in my online journal. It's still not being looked up by my tutor. let alone commented on, and we're being unreasonable to expect better service than this for the high fees I am paying? Yes. What sort of postgraduate qualification are you doing

that you started on Monday and within an hour you had done two activities? Is it a postgraduate qualification? Is it definitely that? And it's not just a buzzfeed quiz. No, no, what you're on about? You expect the tutor to be at your beck and call? The high fees that they are paying, the tutor's probably wondering why somebody has done two activities within an hour of the course starting.

Yeah. And so you don't get instant feedback in higher education. It's not how it works. Because you're not in primary school. You're going to have to wait for the tutor to give you feedback. If they give you feedback at all, like sometimes the activities, particularly on a post-grad qualification, are to enhance your own learning. To encourage you to do self-direct. learning. My inclination would be that if this is something that you've recorded an online journal,

it probably is towards self-directed learning. Yeah, this seems like figuring out your own thoughts and doing your own research. I also suspect that there would be someone on mum's net who would be equally inclined if they were this person, if they got feedback, to be like, why is the tutor reading my private journal? I've paid so much. This is an invasion of my privacy. Can I sue? The pedagogical approach for post-grads is instant feedback. I want to know if I'm getting an A or not. I would hazard a guess, my friend, that if you did two modules of a PostCrat in one hour,

you are not getting an A. Unless you are a very special brain genius. A very special brain genius. It's very unlikely that you've done this well if you did it in one hour, the very first hour of being registered on the course. Yeah, I mean, I work in higher education. This is something we're hearing a lot

because most things have gone online or a blended learning approach where it's some face-to-face but it's mostly online because of the pandemic and this refrain about what am I paying my fees for? Why are these fees going towards

YouTube videos? Why aren't they just watching YouTube? YouTube videos? It's nonsense. The fees aren't just for your teaching those fees also cover keeping the library open going to the student union, keeping estates open, the faculties, campus services.

If I felt that my life chances and general understanding of the world, my personal development, could be bought by spending however many thousands of pounds, and then just watching Safia Nygaard videos on YouTube, I might be inclined to do it, to be honest. Yeah. Why is it YouTube videos? Sounds like a treat. Oh no, but it's not YouTube videos, is it?

It's relevant learning. But then, of course, even in defending the use of fees like that and playing into the idea of fees for education as a concept, which once you're talking within that discourse, they've already won, like neoliberalism has already won. The marketisation of universities has won. Like, no, there shouldn't be fees. No.

There should be an entirely different funding model, which there was only a scant few years ago. Yes. Like, it's not inconceivable that the government could support universities properly, rather than having them marketise themselves and creating a generation of consumers like the OP over. Someone said when were the activities due to be completed? And they said there wasn't a specific date, but the whole module has to be completed in six weeks. This really backs up my theory that if you've done it in an hour, you've misunderstood what you're doing.

It really sounds like self-directed learning. You're being very, very unreasonable, you aren't the only person on the course. You say tutor, is it a graded assignment or a settling in activity? If part of a graded assignment, the tutor slash lecturer will read all of the assignments at the same time and has probably set aside a block of time towards the end of whatever time period is usual. You say activities and notes in a journal, so not an actual assignment, more reading, activities leading up to one, in which case the tutor or lecturer may not look until the whole journal has been completed and the assignment turned in. You're an adult. This won't be a weekly homework with detailed feedback.

Well, they're making an assumption there. Maybe they're not an adult. Maybe this is a young Sheldon situation. Well, yeah, but... Like, Young Sheldon, is that college? I don't know. Yeah. He's advanced, because he's young Sheldon.

Well, yeah. He's a big brain genius. A very special brain genius. A very special big brain genius. So maybe this is, you know, an eight-year-old. Yeah, perhaps. But you'd think that an eight-year-old You know, over the last year, more of their life has been about online learning as a proportion than an adult.

So an eight-year-old would be more inclined to just roll with it. An eight-year-old understands the way that we live now better than a grown-up post-grad. That's what I'm saying. At my university, we have a four-week feedback turnaround timetable. This is pretty standard for UK. Well, that says further education, so I don't think this person actually works at a university. It sounds like you're not mature enough for the amount of independence a postgraduate qualification requires. You shouldn't need this level of handholding or reassurance for presumably a very simple task if you're able to complete both of them before 10 a.m. on day one.

Oh, finger clicks. Snap. And then the OP said, I am happy with the quality of my work. But when I'm paying 2K for a six week long course, then I expect things to be looked at within a working week. It would take the tutor maybe 15 minutes and there are only 10 of us. in his tutor group, what qualification are you doing that's 2K for six weeks? It's a postgraduate qualification. No.

It doesn't sound like it. You can't get a master's in six weeks. A six week master's for 2K? I mean, tell me where. I'll take a six week masters for 2K. Really jazz up my CV with some sort of shift the institution listed on it. It's with the online university. I'm surprised you haven't heard.

of it. I kept getting their ads. You've heard of the online university. Do you mean the open university? Oh no. I do have what it was. No disrespect to anybody who studied at the University of Hull, but they sent me so many emails about a virtual, like a distance learning, creative writing course that they were doing after I was like, oh, oh, I'll just request the information pack, so I had to give them my email address. They sent me so many emails about it that I had to block them. Like, no. And that had real undertones of being the online university. All of their emails were like, some of our graduates have written things.

Okay. I hope we all had, but not had things published, written things. Now, let's move on. This has been so close to thinking about my day job, but I'm going to claim this time back next week. Oh, good. Am I being on? reasonable to take a three-year-old to the Ritz at 1730. We've been invited by grandparents at the end of April and that is from preschool at the Ritz. Preschool at the Ritz. This is specific. Yeah. At first. And then the body, read the body again. We've been invited by grandparents at the end of April. So that's the body. That's the whole. So it starts very specific. Oh yes. But then it quickly becomes a lot

more general. We don't know anything about... Let's list some questions that we might have, one at a time. Why are they going to the Ritz? What is the three-year-old like? Why are they taking a three-year-old to the Ritz? Do you actually want to go to the Ritz with your three-year-old? Does the event start at 1730? Or is that when you're expected to be there? How long will the event be? You won't simply go to the Ritz for one minute. Is this contemporary, as in during the pandemic? Okay, on that one, I just need to clarify. Yes, very much so. To take a three-year-old to the Ritz. During a pandemic.

I guess it's a good time to take a three-year-old to the Ritz because it will be quiet. It'll be quieter. Because of the pandemic. Yeah. But, yeah, you're putting this three-year-old in a little tucks, putting a little cummer bond on the three-year-old. Yeah.

And then taking them to the Ritz for some kind of formal dance for three-year-olds. Sure. Or tea. High-te. High-te. High-te. And 1730, though. Would you have high tea at 1730?

I'm not. as fancy as this three-year-old. I don't know. No, I've never been to the ritz. I've walked past it. Yeah. My idea of fancy is making myself a nice coffee in the afternoon and thinking, ooh, caffeine after 3 p.m. Yeah, I got a pizza last night and that was pretty fancy, let me tell you. It was from Papa John's. Really pushed the boat out. Pretty fancy. Yeah. Yeah, this three-year-old would be judging us.

Hmm. And, and, and, and who is taking the three-year-old? Like, is it? Like, is it? it a member of the family? Well, they've been invited by grandparents. Who is grandparents? Just some grandparents. So far we've got a person about which we know nothing. The three-year-old? About whom, no, no.

Oh. A person about whom we know nothing who knows a three-year-old, maybe related, maybe not. But they're taking them to the writ. They've been invited by grandparents, their grandparents, the three-year-old's grandparents, or just some grandparents. We don't know. We don't know anything about the relations between these people. The username preschool at the Ritz as well makes it sound like they're going to attempt to do some educational activities once they get there.

Like, are you going to let your three-year-old put his grubby little hands, or her grubby little hands, or their grubby little hands, whatever, into the sugar bowl so that you can teach counting, and then the three-year-old has touched every sugar lump at the Ritz. Is that what's happened? Yeah, they can't be touching those sugar lumps. So, should we open the thread? Yeah. What for? A sort of late afternoon tea? Probably okay if your child will sit and behave and just chug through the cakes.

No. Chug, chug, chug, chug. You don't know it's their child. All you have is four disconnected people. The only people with established connections are the grandparents who are presumably married or together in some way. Although they were together enough to produce children and then grandchildren. Well, no, we don't even know that. We just know that these people are, respectively, grandparents.

parents. It could be like one person's nana and then a completely different person's Nana. It's just two nannas. Two completely different nannas. And it's not like nannas from two sides of the same family. They're just two nannas. This is Nana Angie and she is little Steve's nana and she lives in Hong and this is Nana, I don't know, Betty and she is little Jimmy's Nana and she lived in Exeter and they've decided that they're going to have an essential journey where they meet up and they're going to take a different kid. They're not Nana to this kid at all and they're going to the Ritz. You've become transfixed by a video ad about on the side of... I have. You spotted it. It's some kind of eggy, bready, it's gone. But it was some kind of

eggy, bready thing. No, I don't know what it was. The video is a mums that ad for weaning recipes, so it was something intending... It was, no, this one's for reining recipes. We don't know that the other was. I feel like it's a serious. This is gone off the rails. Someone said, it depends on the child. I would, but my children are very well behaved.

They could behave at the writs. I don't care how well behaved a child is. It seems like an extravagant treat to take them to the damn ritz when they'd be just as happy not at the ritz. Probably happier not at the ritz. It'd be a lot more relaxing to be it not the ritz, wouldn't it if you were three? Or not three. Maybe they're just getting a hotel room at the Ritz

Because three-year-olds go to bed pretty early So maybe they're just putting the kid down to the nap At 1730 at the Ritz Well, you check in at 1730 Probably about 1,800 before the kids in bed Really bizarrely, the person who said I would, but my children are very well behaved The O.P has responded to that person

And said, is this real? What? Is yours real? Yeah, why you suddenly so incredulous? And then the OPEs has responded to that person. has said, no one's asked, no one's asked at all what the kid's routine is, but the OP has said, bath time is 1830, lights out at 1900 generally. So unless you live next door to the Ritz, you're not going to be at the Ritz for very long at all, are you? They really are going to have to chug through cakes, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug. Unless they're staying

at the hotel. Yeah, I suppose. And someone has said, who discourages the screens, the Ritz itself? Yeah, because you don't want a kid watching Pepper Pig on one of those weird kindles that's got the really thick, chunky, kid-proof casing on it while you're trying to be at the Ritz. How was the Ritz? I know a lot about pepper pig. Oh, okay. Sounds like you would have been happy anywhere because you're a three-year-old. Yeah, if you want to just put the kid in front of a screen. I dare say the Ritz is lost on a kid. Yeah. Someone said that the Ritz has a very strict dress code. Yeah, that's why the kid's in a little tuxedo. Come a bond. This is, this is ridiculous. Then someone said, if it's witching hour, why would you

even consider it? Witching hour. Maybe they should do a special baby-friendly ritz For all the people who want to bring their preschoolers to the ritz They could have a special time allocated for fancy toddlers Yeah, preschool at the ritz We went to voodoo race to get slices of pizza And there was a preschool disco happening And there wasn't there?

Yeah, that was weird, walked in and there was like a baby disco A lot of people dancing with babies Yeah, and the staff were like, oh, the baby disco is just winding down So you can eat in if you want And we were like, no, no, we won't How long will it take for the babies to leave? Will some of the babies stay? Because it was too many babies.

It was so many babies. To enjoy a pizza there. Yeah, no, just get a slice and leave. So maybe they should do a special baby disco at the Ritz, and then all the babies can meet. I don't think they have discos at the Ritz. Well, no, not for grown-ups, but babies need to be entertained. If they're not allowed screams, they'll need something.

But it should be appropriate for the Ritz. Okay. So a baby ball. Like a debutante's ball. But before that. Yeah, you introduce your babies. Yeah, you introduce your babies to the world. If we ever have a baby, I'm going to parade it around outside the rips.

Introducing. People are very hung up on the dress code. Don't, you can't wear jeans. So imagine a three-year-old, unless you can guarantee it being seen and not hurt. But go down like a lead balloon. Comparing jeans and three-year-olds is so beautifully odd. My impression from watching The Crown recently is that for posh people, babies are neither seen nor heard until they're about 13, 15.

Like babies are with nannies, they're off screen. Babies are off screen in posh people's lives until 15 or so. We've got as far as the end of the most recent series, and I don't think we've seen the youngest of the Queen's kids yet, because he's still too little. Turned up once and was an arrogant prick and then went back to school. He's got 18 at the point that we're up to. Nor should we.

The nanny's going. In a twist, well not really a twist, I suppose we could have anticipated this. The OP absolutely detests the idea of taking this kid to the ritz. Someone has said, I've asked D.H and his response was, it's a fucking mental idea. The O.P. said, entirely minor my husband's thoughts. Right, so piecing this together, it sounds like it's the grandparents' idea. Yeah. D.D.1 is good as gold.

and would have sat colouring in and chatting at that age and could do restaurants as long as there were sticker books or colouring in. You've said colouring in. Yeah, but there won't be sticker books at the Ritz. It's not like when the kids' menu is on a piece of paper that comes with some crayons and they just scribble on it and they put it in the bin at the end. Yeah, it's not allowed at the Ritz.

For tea or for dinner? Dinner? No way. Tea? I still think no, but it's up to you. Great. Okay. I've dined at the Ritz a few times, very few,

and never seen young children. might be different in the dining room though tea is served in a different area they have children's venues from what I can ascertain so I'm sure your little one would be welcome there's no special occasion it's just because the grandparents really like the ritz they generally don't stay anywhere else etc

lovely idea maybe they should stay at a travel lodge similar yeah they could get a nice Airbnb couldn't they get a nice air being B&B space for yourself might be a little garden where the three year old could go in a paddling pool without a dress code Yeah. Or if you want to replicate the ritz, stay in there being bib and have a very strict dress code enforced for the three-year-old, insist that they're seen and not heard. Ban all screens. Am I being unreasonable to be discombobulated by DH's compliment? After over 25 years of no compliments, unless ask directly for one, he suddenly tells me in bed last night that I have a very nice vagina. I'm being unreasonable to wonder how many other ones he's seen over the last 25 years to compare?

It's strange to be with someone for 25 years and to not receive any compliments. It is. It sounds like a very sad existence. But then this is quite a big compliment. But is it, though? Because, you know, it's not a compliment that can be shared. I don't know whether they're monogamous or not, but she seems perplex as to whether he's seen other vaginas.

So it sounds like the intention is that they're monogamous anyway. Yeah. So it's not like something that's widely uplifting. that she can, you know, share with the world as a compliment. It's better than him saying, you don't have a very nice vagina. That would be weird. If after 25 years of no compliments, he then came out with the bizarre insult of, you don't have a nice vagina.

Just telling it like it is. Also, I wonder how long it will take before the mum's less has come along to say, seen, seen, actually the external part is a vulva. Because you know how they get so hit up about that on here? They do. They get really hit up. they all claim that they teach their two-year-olds the proper anatomical words and their two-year-old say,

Mommy, my vulva is sore. They're obsessed with genitals. They really are. Someone has said, I'd be deeply suspicious. Is that Occam's razor? Is it Occam's razor again? Because on here, they seem to think that the obvious solution to everything is that someone's having an affair.

He's having an affair. Occam's razor. He's recently experienced a crap vagina and understands now by comparison. I don't have a vagina. No. But how would you feel if you received that compliment? You have a very nice vagina. I think I'd probably chuckle and then I've moved on.

Yeah, and it wouldn't be like a real laugh. It'd be like an uncomfortable. I don't really know what to say to that. All right, let's expand it further. Let's say you're with someone for 25 years and they've never complimented you. Well, I wouldn't get into that situation. But you have. Well.

And then suddenly, out of nowhere, you have a nice vagina, a very nice vagina. that would be the shipping point. Finally, I would leave that relationship. You've been dreadful for 25 years and now you're saying something so confusing that I must simply leave. Should I get a new life and new identity or just move out?

Stumpy the dinosaur says that's really funny. It's not. It's not that funny. It's very juvenile to find that that funny. Yeah. I'm sure it is nice. I'm sure it's very nice.

very nice. Not just a normal amount of nice. It's particularly nice. What if the, is it partner? What if the partner is a gynecologist or has just finished training as a gynaecologist? So now knows a nice vagina from a bad vagina. If I went to the gyno and their, their conclusion was, that's a nice vagina. I'd be like, I came in for a medical issue. I would have to go to the optician for them to tell me that I had a real sparkle in my eyes I don't want the gyno to tell me I've got a nice vagina They've not quite finished their training They've paid 2K for the six-week course

And they're about four weeks through it They haven't had any feedback yet because it's terrible service So they've just done a week on nice versus not nice vaginas I'll get to the proper medical stuff What is a not nice vagina? I don't know, I'm not a gynecologist, tells. On this online university course, the section for not nice vaginas

is just a thing that says, Google Blue Waffle. Don't Google Blue Waffle if somehow you've managed never to know what that is. I don't know what that means, and I'm going to forget it immediately. Yeah, I do. Yeah, I'd be more about that in 25 years

he's not giving you a compliment than the compliment itself. so context is important. Telling you you have a nice vagina while his penis is inside of it is different to saying this while you're flicking through Twitter before bed, for example. All those things could happen at the same time. I mean, the state of this relationship, that probably is how they do. The bizarrely clinical nature of saying, telling you you have a nice vagina while these penis is inside of it,

oh, got some real MRI energy. Yeah, people are generally saying if you're having sex at the same, the time and that's one thing but if you weren't then i don't know what's going on um and someone said perhaps you watch that tv program ages ago about the many different shapes and sizes of vaginas and decided that you have one of the best looking ones of them all mirror mirror on the wall no one's been along yet to say vulva the word is vulva and now i'm worried that mum's net is broken there you go there's one ah yes but that's also still someone saying how long until someone posts about vulvas hmm all very meta yeah it is

Maybe he's caught a snippet of naked attraction and can now make a comparison. Okay, I haven't watched naked attraction, but if there are people there at Lexa Kimbo, so you can make a judgment on their vagina, the internal part, this is not the show I thought it was. This is something else entirely. I think that's V funny, V V V V Vagina. I think that's vagina funny.

Oh, I've lost it. And then someone said I'd be concerned he's getting dementia. What a horrible thing to say to the OP is if no one could say that her vagina was nice unless they had dementia. What a horrible, bitchy thing to say. Let's move on. That's not very nice. And being unreasonable, how to bag a wealthy man. Realise I'm going to get flamed for this.

But how many of you, if you really were completely honest, would prefer to be with a wealthy man given the choice? How do you attract them? And what type of women do they go for? I live abroad, 10 minutes away, a multi-million-pound villain. extensive gyms and restaurants etc i've seen these men with a mix of women some much younger and glamorous fairly obvious but many of the wives are fairly quiet and quite clean how do these women generally end up with these men i think the first thing you need is a very nice vagina okay but how like you can't but how do you introduce that to a wealthy man yeah reminding people once more that it is the

internal part so it's very difficult to get that into someone's eye line naturally. But gynecologists, wealthy doctors. Yeah, okay. It's easy to get it in their line. It's their job. So you book a gynecology appointment and then next thing, you get married. That got out of hand quickly, didn't it? Step one. Book an appointment. Step two, marriage. Yeah, I mean, how do you bag a wealthy man? I mean, I hate to break it to this OP, but some wealthy men don't go for any type of woman. Some wealthy men are gay. Some wealthy man are gay. Yeah. Maybe that would suit this O.P.

If it was a wealthy man who was gay but drenched in shame and wanted a beard, maybe the OPE could do that. Yeah. Live a nice lifestyle. Yeah. Broken marriage. Doesn't matter. Loveless marriage.

Who cares? Yeah. The wealth is nice, I'm sure. Well, she doesn't seem particularly interested in love or happiness. Just wealth. I read something the other day, and I'm not sure I believe it, but it said it's possible for, women to be wealthy as well

these days. I don't know what sort of communist propaganda you've been looking at, but I think it's best that we get you deprogrammed. Women and non-binary people can also have money. Can also have lots of money. So yeah, there's that. Structurally, there are differences there.

But I don't think this person cares about structure and equality, do they? They just want to marry up. Do you believe some of these women actually set out to deliberately meet a rich man? Yeah? Maybe some of them do? Some of them, I'm sure. Some of them probably don't. Some of the ones that you say are quiet and plain. Maybe, you know, they're only quiet when they're out because they're, you know, shy or whatever. But at home, they have really riveting conversations. Maybe they're not plain and you're just being very judgmental. Maybe they are plain, but maybe the wealthy man is plain. Or maybe the plain women are the wealthy ones and they've got their trophy husbands. Yeah, I think it depends about where you start from. If you are, you come from a position.

of wealth. Come from a wealthy family. Yeah. Probably easier to meet a wealthy man. Yeah, you meet a wealthy baby at the wealthy debutante's baby ball. Yeah. And then you stay in touch.

Yeah, you stay in touch for years. You become friends. Your family forced you to marry someone else. They're in your life for a while. Then you get a very public divorce. She dies in a car crash. And then eventually you get to marry the initial wealthy baby.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, great. I love that you went for Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bonds, whereas I was thinking more of Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf. New money. Yeah, new money.

I think Blair Waldorf's not new money, is she? Chuck Bass is new money. I don't know. Although, I mean, in some ways, obviously all Americans are going to be new money compared to Prince Charles. Exactly. Even the oldest money American is going to be new money compared to Prince Charles. But maybe you just get a job at the wealthy man's estate. Like, you're the sexy maid.

Yeah, now you're doing love actually. Yes, yes, that's what I'm doing You're the sexy maid And everyone talks about how fat you are Even though you're not But also if you were, that wouldn't be a bad thing Oh, I was thinking of the other sexy maid subplot Oh, the one where she doesn't even speak the same language

Yeah, yeah Because there's fully two plots which are the same Yeah The sexy maid So I think what we've learnt there is that my type More Martine McCutcheon You say sexy maid I think Yeah, Martin McCutcheon

She was a bit of all right Sure. Whereas you think of the Portuguese woman who, does she even get a name? I don't know. Don't know. Don't speak English, though. No. Someone has said, well, D.H. is very wealthy now. He wasn't when we met. I bagged him because he was very clever, loyal kind and my type. Well, that doesn't explain how you bagged him.

What did you have going for you? And we had shared values, politics and religion. Whispers gently, being a well-educated, wealthy woman helps. Maybe the wives have enough inner confidence not to worry about being quiet and plain. Well, that's a good point. Mm-hmm. He wasn't when we met So this is a good point

You can meet someone who is going to become wealthy And how would you know Because a lot of people who tell you they're going to become wealthy Are dickheads and they won't become wealthy Well you would know because they're Reddit users on the Wall Street Betts Subreddit Of course

They've got a lot of money in GameStop stocks And eventually they're going to sell So I suppose that's what this person should do Rather than going 10 minutes down the road To where these multi-million pound villas are Just get on Reddit. Yeah, that just seemed to be the thing as well. They seem to think that proximity will be enough to get them a husband.

Just waiting outside the gates of their palatial estate. Before we got married, I was within 10 minutes of all sorts of people who I did not then marry. Yeah. Think about all the people that you've ever been within 10 minutes of. How many of them did you end up marrying? It's a little bit like how you're never more than 10 metres from a rat. You're never more than 10 minutes from someone who you could marry, but probably won't. We spent a lot of time not within 10 minutes of each other before we got married.

Got very lucky then that we didn't just find someone who was closer. Wealthier. Well, yeah, exactly. Someone said, but the wealthy men I know are all married to wealthy high-flying women, most of whom they met at work or at university. Sometimes their wives have stepped back a bit career-wise after having kids, but it does seem the easiest way to meet wealthy, successful men, is to be career-driven and successful yourself.

Yeah, I mean, that's what anyone's going to say on this thread, aren't they? because no one's going to come along and be like, have you considered having loads of plastic surgery and being a trophy life? There are people that want that. There are people that want that lifestyle from both sides of those couples, but that's not the message we're going to get on mums there. Because if we've got that message on Mums there, people would be up in arms. Yeah. You don't want a wealthy man anyway, because they'll be first against the war. Yeah, but as long as you don't get sucked into that, think about the inheritance, which you'll then have to redistribute.

But for a brief fleeting moment. Yeah, until you become Marie Antoinette. Let's do a speed round and wrap this up, shall we? Let's do a speed round and then go and have some cake. Am I being unreasonable to be offended by this joke? No, you're free to be offended. Am I being unreasonable to think enough is enough? No, enough is enough.

Amma being unreasonable? Love my house, but neighbours are watching us. I bet they are always watching. And am I being unreasonable? Why can't libraries do click and collect? Yeah, why can't libraries do click and? collect. Why can't you just get your groceries there? Very good.

Burrow some peas. To put in a chicken soup. Take them back next day. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you. I have an article out about the Hitman games to coincide with the release of Hitman 3. It's on Jump Cut Play. So have a look on there for the article on Hitman and Murder Mysteries.

Yeah. You've also made a linktree, haven't you? A linktree.e. I made a linktra.e.e. linktra.e.e slash SimonXIX Yeah. And I still have Elitra.e. slash helen soon as bow. I've got an article probably coming out sometime soon about the film

How I'm Rye and about how I think it's just a big queer coming of age film dressed up as being something else. Yeah, you had a great take on it. Yeah, well, I mean, I just think everything's a big queer coming of age film dressed up as something else. So yeah, thank you for listening.

Thank you. Bye. how I do right now, except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day when I felt the way that I do right now, right now, right now.