You Are Being Unreasonable - 103 - Online dating PowerPoints and dogs with smaller dogs as pets

Episode Date: July 15, 2021

"If you go home with someone at the end of the night and they don't do the voices when they read you The Hobbit, don't fuck them." This week's word of the week is 'petty' so look forward to all the pettiness in this episode. We cover a lot of birthday card interactions around thanking card-givers or not writing names in cards; whether online dating should require video and reading from a script; and how to deal with a grifting little boy holding your dog hostage. Somehow this all involves saying please to an app, clapping someone getting up, dogs with smaller dogs as pets, and dating with PowerPoint presentations.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when they're prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now. Except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now. Hello, welcome to Your Being Unreasonable. The podcast, is that what we're called?

No, you're being unreasonable? Yeah. The podcast. About people being unreasonable on mumsnet.com with me, Hells. And me, Simon. There we go. We got there in the end. Did we?

We took a week off. I forgot what our podcast was called. Welcome to Your Being Unreasonable. The podcast about people being unreasonable on mumsnet.com with me, Hales. And me? Simon. Look, it's just, it's been a busy week. It was very busy.

We had to leave England for the first time in 18 months. I mean, we didn't have to leave. We were kicked out of England. And then we were kicked back promptly. The same we were English. I got locked in a branch of spa in Aberdeen for no reason. I assumed because I was English. Simply for being English, they locked me in spa.

We saw puffins? We did, we saw puffins. They were amazing. They're so little. I didn't realize how little puffins were. About the size of a wood pigeon. Smaller, I think. Smaller.

Yeah. Hard to tell though, because we saw one puffin and then another and then the mist rolled in and we had to get off the cliff edge. The puffins dissipated into the mist. Never to be seen again. Oh, so that's what we've been up to. I hope that you've all had a nice time. I hope you didn't miss us too much. Yeah, how are you?

Good, glad to hear it. Alternatively, oh, I'm sorry about that. That sucks. Well, I hope things get a little. Easier. Get over it. Should we do a speed round? Yeah. Am I being unreasonable to wonder what the housewives of yesterday would have thought of this?

No, it's good to check with the housewives of yesterday. Hopefully they're still hanging around. Like, in Game of Thrones, the old wives of the cows just coming around in a tent. Just wanting to be consulted. Amherst like that for the housewife of yesterday? Yeah. Ooh, new statue just dropped. It's Princess Die. Am I being unreasonable to wonder who these hooligans are?

English football fans. Yeah, pretty obvious who the hooligans are. They've got St George Crusties painted on their buttocks. On their buttocks? And Amma being unreasonable? Was neighbour or myself be you? Hard to say without details, but let's say you. I would say it almost certainly,

you, and the reason for that is because you've said, myself. Was neighbour or myself be you? Bue. Bue. Should you do a thread? An overarching thing this week is, even for mum's now, I feel like there are new levels of pettiness at bay here. It feels like... The word of the week is petty.

Yeah. Any time you hear us say petty, take a drink. That can be a soft drink. We're not encouraging alcohol. culture. We're not the hooligans. We're the housewives of yesterday year. There's two types of people in this world, the hooligans and the housewives of yesterday year. Yeah, it is an extraordinarily petty line-up. So, am I being unreasonable? Was I rude? Father-in-law brought round a card, presents and flowers for my birthday. I thanked him when he dropped them off to me. In the card was my

mother-in-law, brother-in-law and father-in-law's name. I went to see mother-in-law and co-tay. I thanked my brother-in-law, but I did not thank mother-in-law, despite her asking if I had a nice birthday. Was I being rude? The father-in-law brought a card around. Yeah. And a card was mother-in-law, brother-in-law and father-in-law's name. Yeah. And she went to see the mother-in-law.

Yeah. And the mother-in-law said, oh, do you have a nice birthday, love? And she said, yes. But she did thank the brother-in-law. But not the father-in-law. But maybe she's not seen. She thanked the father-in-law when he dropped the card off. For listeners, sorry, this has no punctuation in it,

so I think Simon's struggling with trying to... Struggling to pass it? Yeah. Just trying to pass the change of events. Because it certainly seems, from me, an outside observer, that you've just shunned your mother-in-law for no good reason. Absolutely. Why did you describe it as going to see mother-in-law and co? But then you didn't even say thanks when she asked...

Also, if she asked how your birthday was, Surely you'd be like, oh, it was lovely, thank you. So even if you didn't explicitly say what you were saying thank you for, you would say thank you at some point in that interaction, wouldn't you? And you'd just be like, good or bad. Good. I got a card from your husband, your son. Like, I don't.

And it doesn't say that anyone has since said to the O.P. That they were being rude. It doesn't seem like anything has happened, except the O.P. has gone home, reflected on this non-event. And then gone, hmm. you know what, I'll chat with mum's net about whether that was rude. I am terrible thanking people, though. I often forget.

And it's not out of malice, it's just out of forgetfulness. So it depends on what the gap is between the card presents and flowers and going to see mother-in-law and co. No, it doesn't, because on the same day that she saw mother-in-law and co, she said thank you to brother-in-law. Yeah, that... I'm imagining her bustling past her mother-in-law. She knocks her mother-in-law off her feet.

She's going to fly. There's a tea tray. Everything's smashing. And she turns to brother-in-law and says, thank you for the card flowers and present. And then mother-in-law says, do you have a nice birthday? And over her shoulders, she just went,

yes. That's what I'm imagining. You have a nice birthday. I have some other-in-law, gesturing to be picked above the floor. She grabs her hand and squeezes it tight. Oh, no, better yet it would be if she just, like, knelt down to pick up something from the tea tray.

Like, rather than helping the mother-in-law up, it's just like, ooh, a nice jammy daughter. Whispers in her ear, I'll never tell you about my birthday. I am not grateful. I don't understand this at all. Yeah, I don't understand why in this circumstance

you wouldn't thank the mother-in-law. If, like, a month had gone by, I could see not thanking her. Yeah, like, then it might seem a bit odd. Or you say thank you to the person. something who dropped it off. Yeah. Don't see them for a month.

I think that's fine. I don't know why you wouldn't send a text that said thank you. Just send a text that says thank you. And then if you don't see them for a month, you don't run the risk of not having said thank you. It's true. It's like, no, I don't understand. I don't think you're bad at saying thanks to people, are you?

I feel like it. You're much worse. It's saying please to bar staff and you aren't saying thanks to people. Mm-hmm. It's just airing grievances down. Okay, not in a real. rude way. I don't think you mean it in a rude way. It's not like you're charging into the bar and shouting gin tonic and then sitting down and clicking.

Don't I have to say please anymore with the table service and all the apps. No, you, oh, you definitely do. I'm not saying please to an app. The day I say please to an app. We went to a bar. We went to a bar on holiday and rather than having an app, they just had a mobile number, you just sent a text to the bar that said what you wanted. And the first text I said, I forgot to write please or thank you, and I was so mortified. And Simon thought this was so silly of me, where I was like, oh no,

oh, I've just put order for table 18 and then what we want. And I didn't say thank you, I'll put a kiss on the end. They don't care, they're busy. I know, but I just think it's important. I think if I was texting my mother-in-law to ask for a gin and tonic at a bar, I would try to remember to say thank you. Yeah, if my mother-in-law works at the bar and try and say please and thank you. Yeah.

Someone has asked the question that I think we all need. Is there a particular reason that you didn't say thank you to her? Good question. But the OP doesn't seem to have an answer for that. Oh! It is a reverse. Someone said, is this a reverse? The AP has come back and said, yes, it is a reverse.

But I don't want to come across as mother-in-law bashing on here. Mother-in-law thanked partner when she received the presents. She come to ours today, thanked our DD twice, and also thanked my mum. for the card. My mom was here too, but said nothing to me, despite my name being in the card, etc. What? Why, like, this is a really confusing reverse, because in a reverse, it should just be from the perspective of the other person. It should be that this is the mother-in-law. It's not a reverse. She just changed the identities of the people involved. Did you read the cat person essay and now you're freaking out about how to post on mums there ethically?

Yeah. No, this is just speculating about what the mother-in-law felt because they've not ascribed any motive to the mother-in-law. That's why the narrative seemed so thin. Yeah. That's why we had so few details. Yeah, okay, so maybe your in-laws said thank you to everyone but you, and that is a bit rude. But, like, if you knew that it was rude and it felt rude to, you don't need to concoct a

confusing piece of flash fiction for Moms there. No. Just think, that was rude. We all have times where people do things that we know to be rude, and I mean, I have a very highly developed sense of what is rude. I've got a very overdeveloped sense of justice, and it's taken me a long time to realize that some people are just not going to meet my exacting standards

for what I think is appropriate behaviour, and that's okay. It only binds me up, it won't bother then. I'm not going to write a confusing mum's net reverse. You need to just grow up. I wouldn't care if someone didn't thank me for a card. It was a card flowers and present. Still.

The AP said, so it's perfectly normal to come in and thank everyone but one person. Yeah, I mean, Like I say, in this situation, I wouldn't be at all impressed either, O.P., but you need to move on now. It's time to move on. They're overthinking it. Yeah, someone is...

We don't have any motive for the mother-in-law, because it is a reverse. And someone has come along and said, it really depends on the situation why she didn't, which I'm guessing you don't know. You're guessing she did it on purpose, but you don't know. With that, she move on. Am I being unreasonable? Off his colleague, not contributing.

Am I being unreasonable in thinking the one person in a person in a our small office who didn't contribute towards a box of chocolates and a card for the cleaner shouldn't sign the birthday card. I suggested it in the office today and immediately two colleagues thought it was a good idea and put £2 in the pot. Ended up with £8, including my contribution. Enough to buy a box of chocolates, a card and some wrapping paper, showing a bit of appreciation. The cleaner is lovely. She cleans a whole building, not just our space and she's cheerful and personable and works hard. The colleague who didn't stump up two pounds is not hard up. She and I are both pretty new in the office. She left the office while

we were talking about it. I'm not sure what to do. Small problem in the scheme of things, but... Tricky. Overwhelmingly petty. Very petty. Tom Petty and the heartbreakers. Yeah. Need to clap for this cleaner. That's what the cleaner wants. The clean answer is to clap. Clap. No, that's how you show your appreciation. A sustained clap at 6pm. That's how you show your appreciation during a pandemic. That's not a birthday present.

Please for my birthday, don't get me a round of applause on the doorstep. I would feel like people were jeering at me. And I was very little. I was once the last person up at like a big family gathering where we'd all slept over and everyone clapped when I got up. And to this day, I worry about being the last person up and goes to people clap and jeer. I think if my birthday you organise people to clap,

I'd be like, did I oversleep? That's why you're always getting up before them. I don't want you to clap me and cheer. Every day I try and get up a little early to try and catch you. But you're always in the living room for a cup of tea just before me. Just staring, just waiting. Isn't it a bit weird for the cleaner if one person's name isn't on the card? Like, forget the politics of this.

It sounds like a small office, yeah. It feels like you've done this as a gift for a person and you should really be prioritising how the person receiving it will feel and it's going to look like this one person in the office hates the cleaner. It's going to be like the last thread with the confusing mother-in-law, the cleaner's going to come along and be like, one person didn't write in my card. Were they rude?

And they've got a whole building to clean, inside and out. It doesn't say out. Exterior and interior. Exterior power washed to a sheen every day. Oh, I thought you meant no one of those ab-sailing. window cleaners. Well, that too, depending on the size of it, building. Well, yeah, we don't know enough about it, do we? It's a lot easier to not contribute in these times of COVID, with an online, like where it just goes to like a PayPal and there's an online card. Yeah. Yeah, that's

true, although... Because no one will know if you don't put into the PayPal. But when I was at my last job, which was the last time that I had to do any of these, the manager of the person leaving and just put their own like PayPal details in and they organised it, which meant that they could see exactly how much everyone was putting in and they could see who didn't put in. And an email came round from the person organizing one for one person who left,

who I thought was a real bag of dicks. Email came round to those of us who haven't contributed. Like, hi, just wanted to check because I haven't seen anything from you contributing to X's leaving thing. Like, no, because I think he's a prick. Obviously I'm not sending you any money. He's a prick. Maybe this person thinks they're clean as a prick.

Maybe. More likely, they just didn't want to get into the politics of all of this. Every time anyone in the building has a birthday, the cleaner doesn't work with them directly. They probably just thought, oh, this is just trouble waiting to happen. I'm just going to walk away. If £8 is enough to buy a box of chocolate car and some grabbing paper, what would you do with the extra £2? You'd get a slightly bigger box of chocolates instead? Mm-hmm.

A PS5? No, it's only £2,000 you've got extra. You could maybe get a little... Yeah, the chip shortage makes that unreasonable. Yeah, a little box of tea bags to go with the chocolates. Oh, have a nice cup of tea and some chocolate. Yeah. Is that a very boring?

That's probably a very boring gift. I don't know. Yeah, it's a bit weird that she left while they were talking about it. But then someone said, but if she left while you were talking about it, did she even know you did it? Yeah, maybe she was going out for lunch. Yeah, like, just in her own world. Because I am very often just in my own world

and don't realize the conversation's going around me. Maybe they were getting their coat, getting the coat on the rustle of the coat meant they couldn't hear. Wow, their coat sounds noisy a. Can we get a present for the cleaner? Yeah, maybe they don't know or like the cleaner. Yeah. Maybe the cleaner had an affair with their partner.

Oh, no. An emotional affair, but still, it's done damage to their relationship. An emotional affair is still a big deal, isn't it? Yeah, there was no physical intimacy. No physical intimacy. She's verified with both parties. But it was an emotional thing.

Yeah, and it's really, really upset the balance of their relationship. And if that's the case, it would be weird for the cleaner to then have a card signed by this person. Yeah. It might feel like a threat somehow. I know what you did. Love Sandra. Yeah. Happy birthday.

The cleaner would be like, did Sandra have anything to do with the chocolates? Oh, I've just remembered I'm allergic to Coco. No, it's fine. You're putting the cleaner in a situation where she has to come into the office and thank everyone but the person there. And then they have to do a reverse on mum's net to determine why they weren't thanked. Someone's now come along and basically being like, you're all cheap skates. You've got in two pounds each and you want to congratulate yourselves. Eight pound between four or five of you isn't that much anyway, which I think is a good thing.

It's true. This is just nonsense. I don't know why people are so worried about the principle. It's the principle. The principle is if you're getting someone a birthday card, don't make the birthday card a weird political battleground where they're going to open it and be like, oh God, some shit has gone down in this office.

Just let everyone sign it. Maybe in future, just don't do birthday cards for random auxiliary staff in the building who you don't know directly. It's true. Give the cleaner day off on the birthday. They don't have the authority to do that. The cleaner cleans the whole building.

Go to the building manager. and start it out. Just get them the day off. That's going to cost much more than eight pounds. Give it the day off. The building manager will let them do it. If you slip on a bribe of eight pounds and some chocolate. But what if they don't?

And no one gets to see of the clean or anything. And the building manager is just there, like some sort of scrooge figure. You can't take the bribe and then not follow through. The building manager is all powerful. The building manager can do whatever they want. The building manager sounds unscrupulous. Well, yes, they are. They're a landlord. Too many.

Let's do another thread. Am I being unreasonable to think online dating profiles should include a video? Hear me out first! The biggest problem I have with online dating is trying to get a sense of a person from just photos and text. I need to hear their voice, see how they carry themselves, if they're funny and outgoing, or quiet and reserved. If they take themselves too seriously, it's impossible to learn those things. exchanging text messages, but much easier from watching a short video. It wouldn't need to be improvised. They could read from a script or even recite a poem.

My being unreasonable to ask online dating matches for a short video presentation from now on. I need to hear their voice. I need to see how they carry themselves. I need to see what kind of house they make in the Sims 2. I need to watch how they play half-lif. Maybe I just want to watch Twitch. Who is this one I want to watch a streamer? I was going to say all this time Do you think you've been online dating,

Limmy, because you haven't? Yeah, because I've been watching his Twitch videos. Yeah, your online boyfriend, Limmy. That's why I went to Glasgow. Just as Limmy went to London. Limmy's on to you, pal. It's really weird to call it a video presentation. That doesn't seem like a natural way to meet someone.

I know that online dating is not the way that people used to meet and things change, should all be doing a presentation, but it just seems awfully business-like. A short video presentation. With slides, because I want to see how they put together for a slide deck. I need to know that. If they use the default templates, no. No, no, mate.

You got to have your own style. If they use a Prezzi, no. That's several years out of date. Also, Prezzi is, like, ludicrously expensive. Yeah. I don't understand why people use Prezzi, because it's like, all it does is presentations. Everywhere else has presentation software one way or another. Why have you got a 179 pound Presi account?

How many presentations are you making? I would be suspicious of the players with the Presi accounts be like, no, they are going on a lot of video presentation dates. Just do it in Canva, mate. Just do it in Canva. It's free. That's how you know someone's frugal, funny, outgoing, quiet, unreserved. I really would not want to watch someone read from a script on a video.

What would that teach me about? You teach you what parts of Shakespeare's Timorna of Athens they enjoy? You know, I think as well as getting to know a person and what they're like and how they speak and how they carry themselves, this could be a really good way of verifying that the pictures they've used are recent and that is what they look like. So perhaps in the video they could be holding up the day's paper. Holding up the day's paper as they do.

Yeah, as they deliver. Hamlet soliloquy. Yeah. Oh no, wait, that's a hostage situation. That's what I'm describing. Or recite a poem. They could read one of your poems. I would absolutely hate if I spent time writing a poem, only to find that some prick was using it on his online dating video as part of a presi, dissecting my words and having them come onto the screen from all angles as a presi. I would hate that.

You can get a sense of someone's personality through text. Yeah, you definitely can. Like this is the foundation of literature. This is what reading is. They don't like reading. They like TV. I think you can get a good sense of what someone is like if under their favourite books they say,

don't read, and maybe the OP is one of those people. Don't read long. There's nothing funny about that. It's sad. What if they read a book on screen? A whole book. What if they read The Hobbit? Because in a hole in the ground

They'll lift a hobbit Not a dirty hole I don't want to watch a video Of someone reading the entirety of the Hobbit Give you a sense of who they are Funny or reserved Well they do the voices They better

Well then you don't know who they are Do you only know that they're doing the voices You don't know which of those is their authentic self Ladies if you go around to someone If you go home with someone at the end of the night And they don't do the voices when they read you the Hobbit don't fuck them no voices

no fuck exactly oh I mean someone's pointed out that a lot of people are very unnatural in front of the camera which is true

people get very stilted it's true and someone's come along now and said I think you've got a point OP long ago almost 10 years now when I was doing the dating

site stance I lost count of the dates I went on and instantly knew it was a no because the person I was meeting have been less than honest or relied on flattering photos or had an odd voice or bad teeth or no care about their opinion sorry, no care about their appearance.

An odd voice. All of the above. I need to know about these odd voices going on a date and being like, oh, hi, nice to meet you. Hello! Oh. I'm Stephen. Oh, you know, I would never have expected that voice, Stephen.

Is that right? I have to go. I've just remembered that my house is burning down. Is it a device? No, it's the bad teeth, not caring about your opinion. That's fair. Bye-bye. And scene.

Yeah, and then someone suggesting that you do an initial Zoom date. Fucking hell, we're past having to do Zoom interactions all the time. Yeah, sure. It was all fun and games in March and April of last year. Oh, we'll all hang out on Zoom. But if I were dating now and someone was trying to do an initial Zoom interview, before deciding whether they wanted to bring me to round two, the in-person stage. I'd tell them to get fucked.

But video dating was a thing, wasn't it? Or was that just a contrivance for films in the 90s? I think it must have been a thing, because it comes up in so many 90s films. Yeah. But was it just a contrivance because text doesn't work on film? No, I think... Like you get a VHS with... Yeah.

With short clips of people saying who they are. I think they also have that in the dating agency from the show The Undatables I think they still do that Probably because the people that they're working with There might be a higher likelihood of that being more accessible than things in text form I don't know But I think it is a thing So maybe this person just needs to get on the old VHS dating

Yeah Maybe what they should be doing Is get a VHS player Yeah it's sending a blank VHS to all of their potential suitors With a return envelope Post it that just says fill this up fill up this VHF it turns out they misunderstood

so they just hit record and you've just got like Saturday evening TV running through the VHS like oh it's just old strictly and someone has said like those cheesy 90s dating tapes

they just want to date a YouTuber I just want to date someone who does video essays yeah probably and then someone said if you ever heard a FaceTime OP with that I think should move on

hey it's FaceTime What you're describing is FaceTime, you loser. Am I being unreasonable, neighbour wants paid. Uh-oh. Looking for advice on whether this is cheeky or not. The boy across the road from us is 12, or thereabouts. Year 7 in school. We have a dog who has a dog walker that we pay for when we're at work.

The boy across the road has started in the evening in the last week when he's bored, coming and asking if he can take our dog for a walk. They're normally away for about 15 or 20 minutes. This has been going on for about a week now. However, he started saying we should be paying him and asking how much he's getting paid. I've said in a jokey way that he's the one asking if he can take our dog out as he's bored and not the other way round, and that we already pay a dog walker. But it's becoming uncomfortable now.

Thing is, I would have picked him up some sweets or something to say thanks, but now I'm thinking, should I be paying him? He's not really doing me much of a favour as I could do it myself. Again, last night he was at my door asking how much he's getting paid. It's becoming really awkward. How much am I getting paid? Hey! Hey lady!

I'm watching your dog. Lady, can I take your dog out? Lady, I'm bored. Can I take your dog out? I'm coming back for that dog. Hey, I'm coming back. Can I take your dog out? Great. How much are you going to pay me? When are you going to pay me, though? How much are you going to pay me for the walking the dog?

Like, the social confidence of this 12-year-old. It's absolutely mind-blowing. There's no way I would have been able to do this when I was 12. I can do this now. Yeah, man. this 12-year-old saw an opportunity and went for it. This time ago I was going to be on the apprentice, aren't they? You can just tell.

Give them five years, six years. They were the youngest ever apprentice candidate. I started a business where I become a dog walker for yourself. People have to pay me. I train the dogs to turn on their owners if they refuse payments. Easy, easy grift. Once you've got the dog, you don't actually have to walk it. Just let it loose in a field or something.

It'll wear itself out. 15 to 20 minutes seems like a very short dog walk. I think that the AP should at least, you know, if they're going to address this properly, say, well, you need to take the dog for a proper walk then, a proper hour long walk. You can't be doing 15 minutes. An hour?

Yeah. I guess it depends on how big the dog is. Is this boy doing this with other dogs? It seems weird to let like a random neighbour boy just take your dog out unattended. Like, your relationship with you. Your relationship with this boy is that he lives nearby. That's all it is.

He lives nearby. You're letting your dog go and hang out with him. And now he's hammering down your door. He's turned your dog against you. He's going to set the dogs on you unless you give him 10 shiny pounds. It sounds like the dog is in a bad position too, because the dog, it's the dog from the second sentence that has the dog walker. And he'll pay for the dog walker.

The dog does. So it's coming out of the dog's pocket. The dog works hard for. that money. And the dog chews this walker. The dog employed a walker after a rigorous selection process on video to understand the way the walker speaks and carries themselves. It's also funny that they've capitalised Walker throughout this post. So I thought the dog was called Walker. Yeah, that is funny. We have a dog who has a dog, Walker, that we pay for. So the dog earns a dog.

The dog's got a little pet dog Oh, that's so heartwarming Like it's a great day or something With a little chihuahua pet Called Walker Which one is the boy walking? Is he walking walk in walker? We have to assume he's walking

The main dog Who then walks his little dog The dog does So the boy's got the big dog on their lead and the big dog's got the little dog. It's a little dog and a lead in his mouth. It's his pet, the dog, Walker. This is such a strange grift.

I really like it, though. I think this kid is onto something because it seems like the OP is leaning towards just paying to make it go away. Just throw money at the problem. That'll make it less awkward. Hey, why am I getting paid? Next thing you know, though,

the little boy is going to be coming around I'm doing your washing up and demanding payment for that. He's going to make you an omelet, and then he's going to charge you restaurant prices for a meal. I was bored. I made you this omelet. 1599. 1599 for an omelet?

799 tops. 15. It's got fine Italian cheeses in it. By accepting the omelet, you've accepted the price of the omelet. You shouldn't have taken the omelet. I won't paid. I'm your neighbour, and I won't pay it. Tell him no next time he calls and asks if he can walk your dog

You want to walk him yourself so the dog is tired He has tried to trick you into having to give him money I wouldn't like it Unless you want another dog walker I don't give him a pound or two Yeah What else are you going to put it in a collection for a colleague Well maybe that's why

Maybe that colleague was like I've just given my last two pounds to the neighbour kid because he's been extorting me by turning my dog against me. I said he's not really doing me a favour as I could do it myself. But that applies to most services. Yeah, if I went out for breakfast tomorrow and I bought a fine omelet, I could have made an omelet myself. You could have made an omelet yourself.

Not really doing me a favour. I could probably learn how to fix a washing machine. Yeah. It's not doing me a favour. I could do it myself with enough time. Exactly. this boys get a skill which is

walking dogs and extortion so somebody has said retitle your post child is trying to extort me op and you'll get more accurate responses

the AP's come back and said just to be clear this isn't a random kid we've known him for five years and we've never had issues like this before which is why it threw me a bit he's no new child and there's not much to do just now

which is why I didn't mind him taking our dog out on a lead of course around the block I'll just start saying he's already had an awall to nip it in the bar, thanks. Only child syndrome. Only children. You know how old these children are? They love to walk dogs and then they extort money from neighbours.

That's all I did as a kid. You know, I've been trying to keep it quiet, but it's a griff that we all know about. All the only children come together. While other people are talking about how lovely it is to have family and how sorry for us they feel and how selfish we are, we go to a meeting once a week. I don't know what I'd do about my brother. Where we share the latest grips. It's not going to nip it in the bud

to say that the dog's already had a walk because you owe him for the walks he's been on. I won't paid. An interest is going to start stacking up. Yeah. You don't know what rate of APR this kid's working on, but I wouldn't trust him. Not great.

Like, don't go to a private loan shark. No, this little boy is the wonger of dog walkers. Got to be careful. Explain, you volunteered to walk the dog and volunteers don't get paid, that's going to stop now because you ask for money. I would explain to see your parents when I see them. He's demonstrated a lack of integrity that I would take as a warning and not to entrust the dog to him again.

He's 12. A lack of integrity. He's a 12-year-old boy taking a dog for a walk and chancing his arm and getting some cash. He's not... A lack of integrity would be holding the dog until they pay up. He's not in a position of power enough to care if he's got his... Integrity. I've got your dog. And he's little duck. Oh, no. Pay up, or you'll never see them again. Somebody said, he's an enterprising young man who deserves 10 out of 10. What efforts? Yes, but does he deserve any money?

And then someone said, give him a tenor, thank him for walking a dog and telling him you don't need his services anymore. Yeah, you're 10 pound down, but it keeps the peace and stops any possible awkwardness for these parents spreading rumors about you. Why would they do that? Don't pay the dog worker. exploited my son. This one over here, exploited my son, wouldn't put it past him to do it again, possibly child trafficking.

One dog with another tiny dog, perverse. Shall we call it a day there? Yeah. One more speed round. Am I being unreasonable, what would you change your surname to? No, we already did change our surname.

Am I being unreasonable to think jury duty is going to ruin my summer plans. No, it definitely will. being unreasonable to think there are certain films you should never re-watch. Yeah. No, that's, that's fair. And Amma being unreasonable, boyfriend has ruined our day out.

Amma being unreasonable to be fuming. No, it sounds like your day out has been ruined. Yeah, no one wants that. Fume away. Fume away. Thank you for listening. Yeah, thank you. I have a poetry collection coming out shortly, but I don't believe it will be out between now and the next episode.

because that would be very, very shortly. But still, you can hype it up, you can get the hype train. It's called word slash play, and it is a collection of playable poetry games. It's got word searches. It's got crosswords. It's got word ladders. If it's a word game, it's probably in there. It's also got some dot to dots,

and it's got a version you can play, and then a version that is my intention for how the poem should be formed through my lens. And you know what? You might learn a little something, too. It wasn't really my intention, but yeah, you might. I can't stop you Yeah, I mean, if you want to learn If you want to take things from it

Then like, I can't keep you Yeah Follow at YAB unreasonable on Twitter Yeah Let us know if you come across any good friends on mum's net But why would you be on mum's net? Yeah, I mean It's hateful

It is Although they've siphoned off the hateful chat Out of feminism into its own special bit of feminism chat Which means that feminism chat is now a dead bored Because it turns out there was no feminism really anyway Thank you for listening Yeah, thank you for listening Goodbye

Bye I feel fantastic And I never felt as good as how I do right now Except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day When I felt the way that I do right now Right now