You Are Being Unreasonable - 104 - Phone-stealing cats and the net worth of Julius Pringles

Episode Date: July 29, 2021

"Nationalise Tebay, I say." More keen insights into Mumsnet and Reddit's /r/AskUK. This week, we discuss dramatising stories by adding 30 minutes to time periods, what to do if a cat steals your phone, some Randian nonsense about collective responsibility, "trying" to keep in touch, and we discuss the personality and net worth of the Pringles mascot.

Hello, driving on drugs feels better when their prescription. All I know, the world looks beautiful, the world looks so damn beautiful. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day, when I felt the way that I do right now, right now. I feel fantastic, and I never felt as good as how I do right now, except for maybe when I think about I felt that day when I felt the way. Hello.

Hello, welcome to your being unreasonable, the podcast about, People Being Unreasonable on mumsnet.com with me, Howells? And me, sign them. What up, Simon? Not bad. We just had to start again because we got a ding from the machines. It was a ding from the ping demic, which isn't a thing. No, it was a ding from the ding demic.

The ding demic. The ding demic of Windows reminding you to do updates. Ding! Yeah, I don't think ding-demic has become a thing yet. Dong-demic. Ding-dang-dong-demic. Should we just do a speed round? This has already taken a turn for the silly.

Am I being unreasonable? Would this annoy you, or am I being unfair? You're being unfair. Really unfair, frankly. Am I being unreasonable? Just think this is a green flag, not a red one. Go, go. Run.

Go, go, go. Am I being unreasonable, new man sees spirits, and it freaks me out. Is he working a winery or whiskey distillery? Am I being unreasonable to think being tickled is torture? No, some people it is. Yeah. Some people, it's very hard indeed. There's a great documentary about tickling

and the dark underbelly of competitive tickling. I would thoroughly recommend it. Although I think that was more like a sexual thing than a torture thing. I don't really remember the documentary, I just remember it was good. Can I just take an aside and say that Mumsnet currently have a promoted post like one that is from Mumset themselves, saying they're doing a video chat with Helen Joyce about her book? This is the worst website in the whole world.

I don't know why we still do this podcast. Helen Joyce's book, Trans, which is not about trans people. Not about trans people, about the trans, quote, ideology, end quote. Yeah, this is why I really do want to make it abundantly clear that my name is Hells. I do not subscribe to the Helen ideology. You're not one of the Helens. I'm not one of the Helens, not one of the big three. You do look up to Helen Joyce and Helen Lewis.

And Helen Stanieland. They're the worst. No, my name's Hells, and I subscribe to the Hells ideology. Helen Hunt's fine. Helen Mirren. Helen Mirren. Yeah, she's got great boobs for her age. We've talked about that before on this podcast.

Lovely. Yeah. Should we do a thread? Yeah. Well, we've got some threads from Mum's Net and some threads from Reddit this week. It's not all transphobic hate sight. It's not all the Helens. Let's start with this one, shall we?

Am I being unreasonable to wonder why people dramatise a story when retelling it? listening to someone retelling an event that a group of us enjoyed earlier together. They've embellished it somewhat, and I'm not entirely sure why. To get sympathy, to make it more dramatic. I mean things like if the journey took three hours, they tell everyone it took four. Waited 30 minutes for food, told everyone it was an hour wait. These are just vague examples, as I don't want to be outing. But this person does this regularly.

When asked about it, they deny it or query others' accounts. Anyone else do so? Please, can you explain why? We slept for eight hours, but they told everyone they slept for 16. They went to the bathroom for two minutes. They told everyone it was two hours. Why are they telling people that they sleep all day and take very long bathroom breaks?

Then, if that was what they were doing, I would be really curious as to what they were hoping to achieve. People would be like, yeah, I think they've got some sort of illness because all they do is sleep and poo. Just to make the point that the O.P. has given two examples, a range of examples, but all the examples are about extending periods of time. I'm not great with understanding time. Like, I ask you what the time is so frequently when I have plenty of ways of checking of my own,

I find time a confusing and stressful phenomenon. And I can imagine that if I was telling a story, I'd be like, I don't know if it's like five hours, and you won't be like, it took four. And that's not me trying to big myself up, be like, oh, yeah, it was such a long journey. That's me being like, this seems like a very minor detail. It's true, you do do that. Do I?

Yeah. And I thought it was just forgetfulness, not knowing what the time was. Yeah, it is. I didn't think it was over-dramatizing. Yeah, like, I have the opinion that anywhere in London takes one hour to get to, and that's not true, because lots of places take 20 minutes,

and some take more than an hour. so I'm very often very early to meet my friends because I'm like I don't know I think it takes one hour It will probably take one calendar hour Yeah I think making out this person It's some sort of full staff character

When probably they just don't have the firmest grip of time Well I just want more examples Because extending a period of time by an hour Is not what I would refer to as drama time Yeah That's true There's nothing dramatic about a job Daddy being slow.

If anything, it's removing an element of drama. There's that day in October that's, it's so dramatic because we get an extra hour. Most dramatic day. Does that mean the day in March is the least dramatic day? The least dramatic day, because it removes an hour. Oh, wow. But, yeah, I don't know what you're talking about because you've given two examples about adding time to time. Yeah, that's part of why I picked this.

because I am aware that time doesn't really mean enough to me. And so I was like, I hope there aren't people out there just waiting to call bullshit on everything I say because I'm just a bit vague. And also, what sort of boring person waits to chip in to be like, actually I'd like to challenge your account of this? You said that we waited an hour, it was 30 minutes. All right, it probably felt like an hour to them if they were hungry. I'm sure they're not trying to paint themselves as some sort of hero

who waited 30 extra minutes for their pizza. There's also basics of communication in here. Like if you say, oh, it felt like an hour. Yeah. We waited for like an hour. Then the like there is doing the work of we felt it felt like. Yeah. You know, you're getting into how it felt to be like you.

The experiential passing of time rather than the objective period of time. Yeah, exactly. So when we took the train from Aberdeen back to London, I was amazed. And I was like, well, this don't feel like very long at all. Because the last time we did that train journey When we went from Aberdeen to London I would have sworn blind it was an eight hour journey It's not, it's like six hours, 15 minutes

But I would have sworn to you it was an eight hour journey And I wasn't trying to elicit sympathy Or create drama Because as Henri Bergson tells us The experiential bit Passing of Time is very different From clock time From the actual passing of time

And they're trying to get this across in the story They're trying to tell you how they felt. This isn't dramatizing. Somebody has said, blame Henny, Penny, chicken, licking and cocky-locky. They started it.

Yeah. But this isn't dramatizing a story. No. First off, and it's not bad to dramatize a story. If you want people to listen to your story, it's fine. I think you have a duty of care

to the people you're yacking away at to make your story at least vaguely interesting. If someone's story was, we waited half an hour for our lunch, I'd be like, why are you speaking? Have you considered not speaking? When Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin went to the moon as part of the Apollo 11 mission,

they probably spent a lot of time waiting around. And I bet they don't tell that in the story when they're retelling it. They just cut to the chase. They just get to the bit where they trod on the moon. Yeah, and clearly whatever has happened here wasn't interesting enough for it to be the destination. So it really is about the journey, not the destination.

Yeah. And the journey doesn't sound that interesting if it felt a full hour longer than it was. Unless the O.P. is in court, then I feel like you shouldn't dramatise the story. Yeah, and I think if you are in court retelling details for legal purposes, it's probably good to get a grasp on the timeline. Yeah. I think a lot of people end up wrongly convicted because they're a bit flupy about time. If I ever go to jail, it'll be because I'm like, I don't know, it was about 2pm and they'll be like, right, your alibi doesn't stack up. I turned out it was 12-15.

I thought, I had a two in it. I really don't see what the problem is. No, this O.P. is typing onto one's net in the courtroom. In the witness box. Having been confronted with her friend's testimony. Somebody has said, it's just how you tell a story. You add details to make it more compelling.

Also, unconsciously, we may not remember everything as it was. Memory isn't accurate and it can be tampered with. A friend of mine told me a child. old-of-memory years ago, and up until recently, I was sure that it happened to me. Eventually, your memories are just as much as the last time you remembered them. If I tell you a story, I'll tell you the last time I record it. Details will change over time. This is the most reasonable response, because the rest of it,

it's just people who've got a minor gripe about a small exaggeration where they've just been waiting to be like, my sister-in-law is a bitch, because she said that someone knocked on the door when actually she got a letter. It almost gave me a heart attack, equal something mild shocking that happened that I wasn't expecting. That's just a turn of phrase. That's hyperbole as a conversation. Yeah, do we have to explain colloquialisms to these people? What did you get yesterday? You said to me yesterday, or maybe it was the day before, that you had an email that

was just hyperbolic email from Just Eat. Just Eat sent me like an email with the subject line, this is the best meal you'll ever have or whatever. You should add this to that thread. Doubt it, Just Eat. Justy are liars. They tell lies to make their stories more compelling for attention, for sympathy. Yes, that's called advertising. My ex did this a lot.

Everything was over-dramatized. If he stubbed his foot, he'd say he smashed his foot. If food was hot, he'd say it was absolutely boiling. For him, it was to get sympathy. Why would you be sympathetic that someone's food was hot? Oh, no, your food. Oh, my sweet little lamb, you'd want me to blow on your dinner for you. these people just sound very tedious

you don't have to give a 100% verbatim account of everything that happens in your life I don't want to speak to someone who does which I really don't and it takes very little time at all for your memory of something to be completely shot from what it was like give it three days and it will have been clouded by all the things

that have happened in the subsequent three days and all the similar events that came before and the way you've remembered those Yeah. I don't understand why this... Oh, they're so... People are just looking for things to be unkind about, I think. Like, oh, someone told a story that was ever so slightly different

and so I'm going to start a mean thread and everyone's going to pile in. No, let's just move on. No, bad. Let's move on. Let's go. Let's move on because this was the single worst thread I had ever read. We spent like two hours discussing this. I know.

It's been a waste of everyone's time. I've been reading this thread for four weeks. I haven't slept, I haven't eaten, bored me to tears. Would you like to do a Reddit? It's read or should we do another mum's net? So this is from Ask UK. Yes. The subreddit where people from and going to the United Kingdom, ask people of the United Kingdom about things.

Great. Guy knocks on my door at 11.30pm claims a cat stole his phone. This is a bit of a strange question, and I'm asking this because these events have left my housemates and I really confused. So at 11.30-ish on Friday night, we hear shouting in our front garden. Apparently, a guy exclaiming, oh, what? We then hear knocking at the door. Then rings our doorbell.

A young guy claims that a brown cat in our driveway grabbed his phone from his hand and ran away. Not only does this thing out of character for a cat, but also extremely unlikely. I can't imagine a cat carrying a modern smartphone in his mouth and running away. He also tells us that there's a rat in our driveway, a real thing. fucking chunker. Is that? Crickets, but why were you in our driveway? We tell him that we don't own a cat

and that it's the neighbours. We tell him they're asleep and it's best to try in the morning. He gives us an address and leaves. We dropped the neighbours a text to explain what happened and call it a night. Cut to yesterday evening where rather than ask our neighbours during the day this guy shows up at night and apparently does the exact same routine with them.

They also told us they saw him getting a white car afterwards and leave. Oh. We think either it's people probing for houses to rob or garden tools. to steal. But then why were you ring the doorbell? And why is such a wild story? I've got so many questions. Firstly, the ones that the OP asks,

why such a wild story? Why ring the doorbell? That makes me think it might be true. I don't know. Secondly, the OP can't picture a cat carrying a modern smartphone. Does that mean that a smaller, older phone? For example, the Nokia 8210, the very tiny one. Yeah. Would be plausibly something that a cat might pick up and carry about. They're unbreakable, so a cat could carry that in its little mouth.

And they were about the size of a mouse or a sparrow. Whereas I can't think of what a comparable animal for the size of my smartphone would be. Partly because animals are not perfectly flat. Older phones were more chunky. Flatfish are perfectly flat. Yeah. But this wasn't a flat fish. It was one in the smartphone.

It was. Also, the rat, the rat is an interesting addition. A real, a quote, real fucking chunker. A real fucking chunker. Yeah, it's weird. The rat is a weird addition to the story. Have we sure that the rat isn't the one who stole the phone? Maybe because the rat is such a chonker, the rat looks like a cat.

But the brown cat grabbed the smartphone and ran away. I can't picture a cat which is entirely brown. Well. Like a plain brown cat? Plain brown cat. I'm looking it up. Oh, okay, they do. Oh, they're very pretty.

Okay, no, I was wrong about that It's just I could only picture like tabby cats I don't know why it was annoying me It seemed like an inconsistency in the story And I was going to turn into the last OP from Monset And be like, well I don't know why people tell lies about the colour of cats The OP comes back and says

As well as a batshit story He himself did act in a strange way Seems like he was possibly drunk Yeah, I'd say the acting in a strange way He's knocking on your door and saying that a cat stole your smartphone and there's a rat in the driveway Yeah, I don't think we need to clarify that he was acting in a strange way.

I think it was obvious that he was acting in a strange way from the way that he acts in the post. You could be to rob the house or see if there's garden tools to steal. I don't know. I don't feel like you need to rob the... Don't feel like you need to knock on the door to steal garden tools.

I guess if you were going to rob the house and it wasn't obvious if there was anyone went in or not, you might knock on the door to check. And then once they open the door, you come up with this ludicrous story. Like, rather than do a home invasion where there are people in, You just want to do a normal burglary.

So maybe that's why. But, yeah, I've just seen someone say phone the cat and ask it. Yeah, phone the smartphone. Think about it. You lose your phone. What do you do? You call it. Call it, see if they answer it.

Hello. Okay. It's the cat's phone now. I remember one evening, this is another poster. I remember one evening, maybe not quite so late, but still evening. I clearly inebriated man wearing a Manchester United. knocked on the door and declared, I live here.

I kindly explained to him, no Manchester United fans would live in my house. I suggested he leave. No Manchester United fans would live in my house. I mean, it does sound like this person might have been somehow intoxicated. A lot of people are suggesting that it was a scam where someone knocks on the front door,

someone enters through the back door and steals stuff. Yeah? I mean, that sounds plausible. You can't come up with a better story, wouldn't you? Well, no, because you want to keep them talking. But you want to keep them talking, and I, for one, would not be able to tear myself away from the person who said that a cat had stolen their phone. Well, now, we're talking about it, aren't we? Well, yeah, exactly. Would we be talking about it? Someone's car broke down? I don't think so. I don't care. I don't have the means to help them.

Hello, my car broke down. Oh, sorry to hear that. Shut the door. One of two things. A, the cat did take the phone. But how and why? B, here is an interest in you in your neighbour's house who is looking for someone Yeah, I guess we haven't really considered the cat's motives This is the well-known cat phone scam And it's been doing the circuits in the West Midlands for years The West Midlands sound much more interesting

than I ever gave them credit for now Scammer will find property with cat And claim the phone has been stolen by the cat The vulnerable cat lovers would leave the house To shake down, said cat While the scammer is free to steal items closest to the front door Keys, phones, who's changed

Lose ch- Why would you go to all this hassle to get a fistful of coppers? Oh yeah, got 97p from these people. I might close the door if I've gone to shake down the cat. Why would you go and shake down the cat as well? I would very flatly be like, well... Sir, you're right, put on my hat. Go out to find the cat. No, I mean, because the cat has no motive, it can't possibly have happened.

The cat has been falsely accused, and this does sound like a scam. that's my take scam scam it's a scam she's doing on the mum's it yeah and being unreasonable

collective responsibility is a load of tosh reading the thread on climate change oh I just realise most people don't give a shit about others so the whole I'll be wearing my mask

until I die is only virtue signalling and most of it because they care about themselves I honestly feel better about my decision not to wear a mask anymore and I'm in my legal right to do so.

As long as others are still driving everywhere, eating meat, buying tons of useless crap that can't be recycled, I won't be wearing my mask to protect others. Am I being unreasonable? Wow, this seems like some cognitive dissonance at play here. Yeah. It's fair to say. Yeah, it's nonsense.

That's what it is. So it sounds like they do believe in collective responsibility, but that because others don't do it, they feel entitled also not to do it, but with different things. It sounds like they believe in people's individual responsibility to the climate. It doesn't sound like they believe in collective responsibility.

It sounds like it's talking about people's individual climate choices. And that because people are buying plastic, when there are corporations who are doing most of the damage and bad policies and global governments, because some people wear plastic, this person won't wear a mask, even though it's their own breath that the mask is about. Yes. I recycle and I want to minimize my impact on the planet.

We don't generally fly anywhere. I don't drive. Like, you know, there's lots of stuff that I do where I could get all on my high horse about it. But also, I'm acutely aware that I, as one individual, I'm not going to have the impact that getting businesses and governments to be held accountable would have. this person seems to have just taken the idea of collection of responsibility

and applied it in the wildest, most inconsistent and incorrect way, I can imagine. They've fundamentally flipped. They've done the Missy Elliott special on Jesus's Golden Rule. They flipped it and reversed it. It's not do unto others as they would do unto you. It's do unto yourself as others would do unto you, which is not the same thing and is not a great foundation. for morality? No, it's not, is it? It feels like the closest I can imagine is it being some sort of

Randian nightmare. Yeah. But even Iron Rand, I think, would have some questions over the, if not the outcomes, the logical processes that led to this. It sounds like a lot of contortions to morally justify not wearing a mask. I don't think you can say that collective responsibility is Tosh. No. What are you on about? You're not taking responsibility. And also, if people are wearing masks, even if that is, in your opinion, virtue

signalling, they're wearing the mask, aren't they? Like, it has an impact. Virtue signalling to me is more a phrase about people doing something that has no impact. Yeah. Virtually signalling would be pretending to wear a mask, but you've actually drawn it on with a pen, so you're breathing normally through your normal face, but from afar, you've got face paints of a mask over your actual face. So people think you're virtuous. But there you are, with your mouth wide open, all your particles everywhere. Getting your particles all over

other people. Yeah. Next time I see a fair in town, I'm going to say to the face painting people, I'd like you to paint on a surgical mask so people think that I'm virtuous. And then I'll breathe on them. That's good. And that is my legal right. Yeah. Yeah, you're allowed to do anything in England these days. Except say you English. Bringing up their legal right is weird. well, because it's not illegal to drive or to buy pointless crap. So making out that they're somehow in the right, because legally they don't have to wear a mask. Legally, we don't have to... No, it works because the OPE is conflating climate change with COVID.

These are two separate issues. Yeah, they are. And no matter how many circles I go around in to try and find what the through line is, I can't. Because there isn't one. If you want to make a protest against people not, taking responsibility for individual responses to climate change, which, as you said, is bullshit because it's big corporations mostly. Yeah.

But if you want to protest that, then go out and start a bonfire, burn a load of tyres or something. Yeah. Burn a load of plastic bags. You see, Jeanette Winterson the other day saying that the big problem isn't COVID, the big problem is climate change, and then people sharing all the pictures of all those books she burnt. I'm like, come on, Jeanette. You used to be cool. You used to be so cool.

Alas, Jeanette Winterson is not the only fruit. Someone has said, that's a bizarre kind of revenge. And that's true. It feels like they're doing this out of revenge. Like, oh, you used a straw, so I'm going to give you COVID. Or you didn't bring your keep cup. Well, I hope you go to the ITU. Like, it doesn't make any sense.

And it does feel vengeful. This isn't what Jesus wanted. Yeah. and then someone has said, if you consider that the people who are still driving everywhere, eating meat, buying tons of useless crap that can't be recycled using the exact same logic as you. Yeah, if everyone thinks this way, it's not going to work.

And another way of phrasing Jesus's golden rule would be the Kantian categorical imperative. You have to behave as if you are setting universal laws that everyone else will follow. Yeah, the OPEC came back with a ridiculous strip feed saying it's not revenge, I'm asthmatic and I'm exempt from wearing a mask, although I tried to wear it during the pandemic for the greater good.

Now I'm being called selfish for not protecting the same people that directly contribute to my health problems, yet they don't care. So it is revenge? Yeah. I think if you're bringing up people making you ill and you're saying you're happy to make them ill, you can't in the same breath way say that it's not revenge. I'm asthmatic, I wear a mask and I don't drive,

and if I took my mask off and somehow gave COVID to someone who had a jeep, I wouldn't feel like I'd got one over on them. Ha ha ha. No. Let's do another thread. Nonsense. Nonsense. Nonsense.

I can do a brief ask you, K. Yes, please. What song does your local ice cream van play? Oh, there was one that was playing Riders to the Valkyries, wasn't there? That was... Badass. Wild. Yeah, there's a lot of responses.

Green sleeves, teddy bears picnic, pop goes a weasel. This one's good, the theme from the Godfather. But sadly, the ice cream man died recently. And the new ice cream van on the... the block. It's not nearly so interesting. Oh no. I've heard Farrell-Aise before as well. That's very sad for an ice cream van. Boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo-boo. A Harry Potter theme? No. I would never buy an ice cream from a van that played the Harry Potter theme. I'm boycotting it. I'm exercising my mum's netty behaviours and I'm going to withdraw my support in protest.

Ranger up to keep falling on my head. That's quite cute. Oh Solo Mio, the Cornetto song. Yeah, that makes sense. Turkey in the straw, annoying as hell. I don't know what turkey in the straw is. No, me neither, and I don't think I'm going to look it up if it's annoying as hell. Yeah, no, no.

That's just an insight into local ice cream van culture. This one that says slip-knock people equals shit. That's a joke, right? Because if it's not, I need to go and buy an ice cream now, immediately from these people. From the slip-knot people. Yeah, I want like a big charcoal ice cream, a charcoal ice cream, I want it to be gothic hair, metal a, yeah, whatever. Nothing will ever beat that.

I'm going to be disappointed when I hear our ice cream ban. And normally I'm so excited, I go tearing down the stairs and all the mums of the local children laugh at me because they're there with their kids who are less excited than me. So I go down there still pulling a shoe on. Shall we do this mum's net thread? Please. And being unreasonable, what makes someone look rich or wealthy?

Picky backing on to the Louis Vuitton bag. thread. So many responses say you can tell if the bag is fake or real depending on the person's hair and general look. I've really noticed this where I live during lockdown. Even though we're all predominantly in scruffy clothes or gym gear, you can tell some people just look rich for a lack of a better word. What is it? Is it an unspoken code or something? I think what makes someone look rich or wealthy is a monocle, for starters, top hat or an evening hat of some kind. Yeah. They're twirling a cane. Absolutely.

They have a sort of either a butler in a tuxedo behind them. Yep. Or a dishevelled man servant. Yep. Who's clearly following them. Which is posher, the butler or the dishevelled man servant? Which is poshia for the rich person to have. Yeah, which makes the rich person look...

The dishevelled man servant. Yeah, I agree. Because they don't need the top shop. They're so wealthy that they don't need... Yeah, they don't need the butler to look good as well. Yeah, they don't... They don't care how they look in front of other people. And you have to have a certain amount of wealth to truly not care.

Great, let's move on. You look a bit like the Pringles Man? Yeah, I was thinking the Fat Controller. Yeah, the Fat Controller, the Pringle's Man. Anyone who looks a bit like the Monopoly, man. I don't know why the Fat Controller and the Pringles Man, as obvious members of the Land and Gentry took on these everyday jobs, but I do appreciate their attempt to keep in touch with the little guy.

Can we drill down for a minute on why you think the Pringles Man is a member of the Landed Gentry? Because we're talking about people who are extremely wealthy. The Pringles Man. What makes you think the Pringles Man? I was saying he has a look of wealth. But you're saying he's part of the Landed Gentry. Now the Fat Controller, I understand, because he runs a train company. No, I'm sorry, you cannot challenge me on the Pringles Man being a member of the landed gentry.

And then in the very next sentence, say, whereas of course, the fat controller is. Well, I'd like to get a little deeper on what we know about the Pringles Man, which I would argue is nothing. We don't need to know anything. Think about all of the shady, wealthy people who own half the country. We don't know anything about them. Do you know who else we don't know anything about? The Pringles Man. That doesn't mean, just because you don't know something about them does not mean they're all wealthy. Look, I'm just saying In response to the question, what makes someone look rich or wealthy? It's knowing nothing about them and their face being on Pringles.

And I think we need to move on. No, the Pringles Man is a corporate mascot that we know nothing about. We assume he's a man because he has a moustache. Yeah, and that's an assumption that we shouldn't make. That's an assumption we shouldn't make. But we've been calling him the Pringle's man, so we'll continue. Yeah. That's it. That's all we know.

He presumably likes Pringles. Is the Pringles man? posh. You've got no answers because no one knows anything about the Pringles man. Oh, hang on. Is that a name?

Julius Pringles. I'm sorry, but Julius Pringles. If you're telling me that Julius Pringles is not a posh man, you are quite obviously now just trolling me. Oh, have you met Julius Pringles? Now I know his first name is Julius.

Yeah, that does sound posh. Right, so Julius Pringles and the Fat Controller are what makes someone look wealthy or rich or posh. This can't be canon. His name is Julius Pringles. Well, I'd like you to tell that to the good people at insidehook.com. The real and true history of Julius Pringles, the man on the can.

He has a vibrant past. Oh, he has a bowtie as well. I'm looking at a picture. Yeah. The bowtie makes it seem right. The fact control also has a name. His name is Sir Topham Hat. They gave him that name and they realised that calling him.

the fat controller was a bit problematic, but actually that's because people, generally straight-sized, thin people think that fat is a bad word when actually, if you remove that stigma, it's just a statement. I think calling him the fat controller was actually very body positive. I don't. A body positive icon, the fat control. Big fat controller is totally body positive. In the first two books in the series, he's known as the fat director and becomes the fat controller in the third book. Oh. As the railway has been nationalised. I'm learning so much today.

So what we've learned is that the fact controller was once a member of the landed gentry. The railway got nationalised, he got a different name, but probably is still benefiting from the railway being on his land. He's still called Sir Top and Hat. Much like the people who own T-Bay. Yeah. Like the M-6 got built through their land, but now they own T-Bay. So they're doing fine.

Yeah. Nationalised tea by I say. And we know that Julius Pringles has a little bowtie and a moustache and therefore I don't think I was incorrect to assert that he too is landed gentry. Remember when Pringles put out those Christmas tins that said Merry Pringles and everyone said, what are you doing? Pringle Bells was right there. Yeah. I just don't think Pringles are very good at marketing because we know nothing about this man.

They call it Merry Pringles Christmas. Merry Pringles Christmas, man. It makes a lot more sense now that I know that this extraordinarily wealthy man, Julius Pringles, is in charge. Because he wouldn't want it to be Pringle Bells because his name is Pringles. Not Pringle.

Not Julius Pringle, is he? And Pringle's bells sounds like an allusion to his balls. He doesn't want people thinking about his balls. Look, this has gone too far, and I think we should either hear from the thread or call it a day, and I don't think the thread is going to be as funny as us. I think wealthy men either dress, like I've discussed, monocle, top hat, etc. Or they're in shell suits. Like Jimmy Saffling?

Yeah. Right, this has taken a turn. Let's hear from the thread. Someone has said good hair and an excellent gait. And that is why, you know, I'm not posh, because I just don't have the gate for it. These days, if you're rich, you wear a space suit. Or in Richard Branson's case A almost space suit

Scathing Biting social commentary from Simon there Because for all his money He couldn't even get to space As we discussed though He used to be held up as a big dyslexic icon And maybe he's got the numbers one too And he didn't realise he wasn't going far enough

If he didn't realise he was 20 kilometres below space Might be Aeblist Do you want to take one more thread Or should we just do a speed round and wrap it up Let's do another thread We're on a roll with saving lives And I'm being unreasonable, let's try to keep in touch. If someone ended their WhatsApp chat like this to you, what would you think?

What does this sentence mean to you? You're never going to see them again. Yeah, absolutely. Let's try and keep in touch means I'm about to delete your number. Yeah. The next time you hear from me, it will say new phone who dis. Let's try. Let's try. Let's try to keep in touch.

Even let's keep in touch says, I have no intention of speaking to you for at least six months. Yeah, but try. Try pushes it into, we both know we're not going to. trying it's too trying yeah i mean i'd like to know the context because if that's from someone who you sort of had a preliminary chat with about a job you might apply for that's bad if it's someone that you've been dating for a long time that's worse if it's your best friend then you've done gone fucked it and i'm really sorry about that but we need the context because the other tiny possibility is that it might be a friend of yours who is someone really tedious you know the people who only speaking

business jargon, even with their mates. And maybe they mean, oh, I'll drop you a text next week and we can go for a walk. Let's touch base in a few weeks. Oh, if any of my friends have suggested that we touch base, I would delete their numbers. Let's try and touch base about this. If we can have a powwow in the near future. I'd just like to reflect on this conversation and then I'll come back to you. Let's connect offline.

Are you saying we should go for a drink? cool. What? I'm going to start responding to you over in business jargon. It's funny how let's take this offline has turned into, let's talk about this outside of the meeting, but still online. Oh yeah. Like still predominantly probably over email I am. Yeah. And it definitely used to be that it was for stuff that was a little bit contentious, so you go and sit in a meeting room in hushed tones. Like if you were in a meeting and you raised that somebody was being a real piece of shit, let's talk about this off. like this tells you a lot about the way that I conducted myself the last time I had a job

in a physical office. I was always just saying that people were being real pieces of shit because they were. Whereas now, yeah, there's still a chain. Let's circle back to this friendship in a couple of weeks. Have you seen the Shelby Allstein video where what's it called? Your boss answers a very simple question. No. I will share it. I'll put it up on the Yaboo page. It's extremely funny. It's very good. It's all of these things. Yeah, so the O.P. came back after someone said it means that you'll never see them again and said, really, that's strong. And everyone's like, yeah, that's strong. Yeah, that's strong. It should be tried too as well.

Yes. Not try and. Yes. Then the OPE has said it's not a man slash relationship. I want to know who it's from. Oh, then someone has said, oh, maybe it means it's a positive thing. Like, let's make more of an effort. it doesn't mean that. They could have just said that. Yeah. They didn't. I said try.

Yeah. This is nonsense. I don't know who this is from. And without having that context, it's very difficult to tell. Oh, my word. It was the OP's sister. Oh, no. Oh, that's terrible.

Yeah, I don't think your sister wants to hang out with you, girl. I'm sorry. That's a shame. But yeah, there are people saying it's positive, which means that as long as those people believe that, there are people out there who would send that as a positive message. But I very much think that anyone who speaks to you in business speak, even if they actively want to keep in touch, just cut them loose.

Life's too short. You don't need that. You don't need people who are going to circle back, take it offline, touch base, put a pin in it. Let's put a pin in this for now. Yeah? We'll catch up next week, yeah. I don't have siblings.

Maybe this is how people communicate. Do you and your brother have, for example, a jam board that you use? to share your thoughts. We have a team slack. A team slack. Great. A Trello board. I hate Trello.

I don't know why I hate Trello to the extent that I do. Maybe it's because I'm not naturally a very organized person, so organisational software feels like a personal attack on me. Sliding, see our nieces into To-Doo. Done. Completed. Oh, I'm glad I'm not on the family Trello. I would only create havoc by not moving things onto the right bits.

You've got to move things onto the... Can all team members please remember to take responsibility for their own cards? No. Do you have another thread that you wanted to do? I wanted you to do a speed round. Yes, yes, please. I would like that very much. What words do you hate hearing?

I like all words. No, words with a double G sound in the middle. Oh, there we are. Don't talk to you about eggy or struggle. Oh, caches in my throat. Who is widely regarded as a national treasure, but you don't think they should be held in such high regard. Discussed below.

Blessed, Brian Blessed. Yeah. Too booming. Yeah, I mentioned it earlier. What of the sentences you use when ordering at a pub? Does it say anything about a person? I would say, could I have whatever I'm ordering, please? I think.

What is life really like in Luton? I dread to think. What is the horniest breakfast cereal? Oh. What a question? Rude. Grinola, rude health granola. Like, oh yeah, you're in rude health, are you? All right. Wee. Thank you for listening. There we go. There we go. Do you have anything that you'd like to

plug or say? To say. This is the time to rise up. Anything to get off your chest. You have nothing to lose but your change. Workers of the world. Join me. Let's try and keep in touch. I'm appearing at the Beyond Life and Death Twin Peaks at 30 conference on July the 31st. I don't know if it's still open for getting tickets, but there might be recordings available afterwards. And I'm doing a paper there about the 1990s TV show Twin Peaks. Amazing.

I have a book out. I've got a book out. It's a poetry book. It's called Word slash Play. It is by Helen Bowie. That's me. It's with Bear Bua Press. And it's very exciting.

I will share the links through Bear Bua's website on the Yaboo page, on my page, on all pages. On all pages. Buy Helz's book. Yeah, it's an interactive selection of word games and poetry. And I would very much appreciate any and all support for it. Buy the book. Buy Tatizine. Yeah, exactly.

You know, just selling stuff now. This is really all it is. I decided we'd do 102 episodes and then I'd start going really hard on all. walking shit out. So let's keep in touch. That's why we're selling t-shirts to say, let's keep in touch. Let's circle back on this.

These are like red-handed. And he's got Brian Blessed on the back. No one knows what it references. It doesn't have eye logo on it. Yeah, if you want any yaboo merchandise, make your own. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you.

Bye. do right now, except for maybe when I think of how I felt that day when I felt the way that I do right now, right now, right now.